Chapter Text
Sasuke Uchiha picked up his bowl and balanced it in his lap before he reached to grab himself a serving of steaming vegetable soup for dinner.
In his travels Sasuke had had the opportunity to dine at many fascinating restaurants in villages all over the Shinobi world with cuisine that felt vastly different to what he had grown up eating in Konoha. He’d attended opulent meals with heads of state, had home cooked meals from generous villagers and everything in between. But during his journey of atonement, meals like this were by far the most common – self-prepared, simple, and eaten in solitude.
Sasuke stirred the large kettle briefly before gathering his portion. It was the same meal he’d had for the last three nights – bok choy, oyster mushrooms, dashi broth and soy – with one exception. Tonight, he had a side of tomato onigiri to enjoy. The woman whose home he had helped repair after the raid in the Land of Jewels had sent him with a carefully wrapped bushel of the fried rice balls, despite his insistence that he had plenty of food.
He thought back to the woman and her two children. He had instantly liked the family. The mother was warm and generous, soft-spoken and unintrusive. Sasuke appreciated people like that. She was also ruthlessly intelligent, though it had taken Sasuke a week of staying with her to fully comprehend to what degree. Her teenage daughter took after her, and Sasuke had thought at several points that he pitied anyone who would have to go toe-to-toe with either woman in a battle of wits.
The youngest child on the other hand, her son, was a wrecking ball of energy. He was fearless, idiotic and so full of life it was overwhelming to be around. He seemed unable to stop himself from getting into trouble and spoke as though there were no filter connecting his brain to his mouth. The mother acted constantly embarrassed by him, convinced that his behavior would be off-putting to the Uchiha they had as their guest. Sasuke had just smiled, and told her people like her son were his favorite kind of people.
She had thought he was just being kind, pitying even. He wasn’t.
Sasuke put his lips to his broth to gauge its heat. He frowned, wondering whether or not the family knew how much he enjoyed his time with them. He certainly hadn’t told them. Had he shown them? He hoped that he had.
They’d offered to house him for another week, but the stoic man had turned them down. He’d told them that logistically he needed to be on the road that night which was, for all intents and purposes, true. Traveling on foot, as he intended to, Sasuke couldn’t afford to lose a night if he were to make it to the Land of Ice in three days’ time.
Of course, Sasuke Uchiha had faster ways to travel if he needed them. But logistics weren’t the main reason he turned down their offer.
Truthfully, Sasuke had a limit to the hospitality he could accept from these open-hearted villagers that he met all over the world. After enough time had passed and enough kindnesses had been bestowed upon him, something would start to settle into his chest and stomach and the pressure would be too much to take. He had given up trying to diagnose this feeling and label it explicitly – guilt was the closest sensation he could come up with, but it was both greater and more minute than any guilt he had experienced in the past. It made it hard for him to communicate, hard to breathe, and he had learned over the years to recognize its telltale symptoms and take his leave before it settled in.
The night before, when the son of the family had asked him to stay another week with them, Sasuke had known that it was time to go.
So tonight, he ate alone. After he finished his bowl of soup, he grabbed one of the pills that Sakura had insisted he take with him and tossed one down his throat. He hadn’t noticed any difference since he’d started taking them but that didn’t come as any surprise to him. He wasn’t sure he was really supposed to. He took out his canteen and took a swig of water before reattaching it to his belt.
Sasuke put out his fire and walked to his tent. He unhooked his cape, took off his belts and ninja tools and exchanged his slacks for a pair of thick sweatpants. Only three days from the Land of Ice meant warm clothing was necessary even within his sleeping bag. He climbed in, nestled his head on his pillow, and his lips curled up into a miniscule smile as he began his nightly routine. In his chosen life of humility and sacrifice, it was the one indulgence he allowed himself. He closed his eyes, then reopened them immediately.
The tomoe within his Sharingan spun slowly. The same scenes he replayed every night with his cursed visual prowess played once more, and his teeth sank into the left corner of his bottom lip. Sasuke took his one good hand and slipped it underneath the waistband of his sweats. The route was familiar, pale fingers heading south without a second thought as memories filled the tent.
**
Naruto Uzumaki smiled at his wife as he accepted the plate of immaculately prepared food she handed him for dinner.
‘Thank you,’ he murmured.
His eyes closed as he ate, appreciating the first home cooked meal he’d been able to enjoy at home in weeks. Hinata had prepared blackened salmon with a rich glaze over rice with grilled vegetables, and Naruto consumed each bite in total appreciation, as though every taste bud on the Hokage’s tongue were being rewarded for all of his hard work. Before he knew it, he was finished, full and content.
He glanced around his living room and took in the barely contained chaos within.
When Hinata heard that Naruto and Shikamaru would both be getting out of work that evening at a reasonable hour, she insisted on having the Nara family over for drinks and food to celebrate. Temari and Shikadai had apparently run into Sarada and Mitsuki on their way over, and suddenly the Uzumaki family was hosting two adults and three hungry, rowdy teenagers in addition to their own.
Sarada and Boruto yelled at each other from over the couch, Shikadai oscillated between the adults in the kitchen and his bickering peers in the living room, and Mitsuki – well, Mitsuki just stared at Boruto and chimed in with an off-the-wall comment every now and then. Naruto chuckled – the boy was a strange but was not unwelcome presence by any means in their house.
It was loud, and messy, and it was home. It was better than being at work alone, anyway.
Busy nights spent at his office were taxing and often lonely in their own right, but they weren’t the worst. Nights spent waiting were the worst.
And that’s what tonight would’ve been had he stayed in his office. Waiting for a tap on his window that wasn’t going to come for several days, disrupting his productivity until he had nothing to show for the evening except a chest full of anxiety. Even now, he felt his smile waver as his mind traveled to the dangers that he knew lurked beyond the walls of Konoha, threatening someone beyond his reach and beyond his protection. He caught himself drifting and shook his head, clearing his thoughts before anyone at their impromptu dinner party noticed his shift in mood. Ah, but he was too late – when he looked up, Shikamaru’s knowing gaze was already on him. Naruto’s smile grew lopsided and sheepish. His brilliant friend sauntered over.
‘He’s fine,’ Shikamaru spoke quietly, careful not to get the attention of anyone else in the house.
‘Oh, I wasn’t – what do you mean? Can I get you another drink, Shika?’ Naruto bumbled. He hated pulling focus from the people around him when he was wallowing in his own anxiety. It wasn’t who he was. He brought the energy up wherever he went, not down. He busied his hands picking up various bottles of sake and beer to offer to his friend. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
‘He’s not expected in the Land of Ice for another three days, and after that it will take another day or two for him to complete his mission. You’d have more reason to worry if that damn hawk did fly to Konoha tonight.’
‘I know,’ Naruto muttered. He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled, then gave his friend a half smile. Shikamaru clapped a comforting hand on his shoulder just as Hinata came over to clear away some of the dishes near where they stood. She took one look at Naruto and her forehead scrunched in concern.
‘Are you worried about Sasuke again?’ she said soothingly as she reached her hand out to grab her husband’s. Naruto chuckled darkly.
‘Did I get it tattooed on my face or something?’ he asked, looking between Shikamaru and Hinata. ‘How does everybody know?’
Hinata and Shikamaru exchanged a glance, both smiling affectionately as they turned their eyes back to Naruto.
‘Naruto my love,’ Hinata started, ‘With Sasuke, you’ve always…’ she frowned, struggling to articulate her train of thought, and looked to Shikamaru for assistance.
‘When it comes to worrying about Sasuke, you may as well have it tattooed on your face,’ Shikamaru finished for her. Naruto opened his mouth to rebut this claim but closed it quickly. They were right, and he knew that.
‘It’s something I love about you,’ Hinata whispered as she tilted her head up to peck his cheek softly. ‘You’re a good friend.’
He smiled at her as she began to walk away to rejoin Temari in the kitchen. Shikamaru grabbed a fresh bottle of beer and followed Hinata, motioning with the bottle for Naruto to join them. Naruto took a deep breath and grabbed a beer himself on his way to rejoin his friends. Laughter from the younger generation filled the living room behind them, and Naruto felt his fears slowly dissipate with the sound.
**
Sasuke took a cloth from within his small pack and cleaned himself off, discarding it to its usual corner of the tent when he was finished. He exhaled heavily, releasing all of the want, the desire, the resentment.
He grabbed the notebook he kept next to his sleeping bag and started to scribble out words, meaningless to anyone but him.
When he was satisfied – as much as he could be – he put down his pen and carefully rolled the paper into a tiny scroll, small enough he could attach it to his bird’s leg should he ever decide to. He wouldn’t, of course. It was just another part of his routine. He wrote out what he pictured, what he missed, what he wanted, and he rolled them delicately into letters he would never send.
He tucked the letter into his pack in the same corner he stowed away the others. He nestled back into his sleeping bag, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
**
Naruto sat on the edge of his bed and leaned over his wife to give her another kiss. She smiled against his lips, kissing him back before she sighed tiredly.
‘Tonight was fun,’ he whispered, looking down at her fondly. ‘You’re such a good host.’
She looked up at him and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a yawn. Naruto couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable she was in that moment. Her cheeks reddened prettily, and she patted the space next to her in bed. ‘Are you joining me tonight?’ she asked, and Naruto’s chest clenched with guilt at the hope so present in the question.
‘I might join later but I think I’m going to spend some time in the home office,’ he said apologetically. ‘I’m not used to getting done this early and I just want to make sure there’s nothing I’m forgetting.’
Hinata nodded knowingly. She had expected this answer. She smiled at him again to let him know she wasn’t upset and reached out to gently squeeze his hand.
‘Love you,’ she whispered. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
‘Love you too.’
Naruto let himself out of their bedroom quietly and slipped into his office. His pull-out couch was ready when he needed it, though he knew he would be lucky to get an hour or two of sleep tonight.
For now, he went to sit on his desk, brushing aside stacks of mission requests and positioning himself so that he could stare out the window. He searched for a messenger that wasn’t coming, and he knew wouldn’t be coming for days yet. He waited to hear the tap, tap, tap on the glass. He waited, and he watched, and he prepared himself for a week without rest until the moment he heard from his friend.