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Hyunsuk has always been bad at watching Jihoon and Junkyu spend time together, pinpricks of possessiveness stinging on the back of his neck. It's not like he had anything against Junkyu - they had been friends for longer, after all - but his relationship with Jihoon has been rocky these days, so he's been a tad bit sensitive lately.
They stumble into the studio, and Hyunsuk wastes no time in scraping his teeth against Jihoon's skin. He relishes in the shiver that the younger releases and sucks against the bruised skin at the base of his neck. This pulls a moan from Jihoon, eyes closing as Hyunsuk works on sucking small red bruises on his collarbone.
"Did you enjoy yourself out there," Hyunsuk breathes after he deemed Jihoon's neck sufficiently marked. He means it as a question, but it comes out sounding like a whine as he continues panting against the other's skin. Hyunsuk sees the raised brow of his boyfriend, probably intrigued at the jealous streak he's showing. It doesn't prepare him for the way Jihoon suddenly flipped him over so that he was the one against the door, trapped between the cool surface and the familiar figure.
Teeth nip on his ear, and Hyunsuk shivers, sensitive. "What do you mean, hyung?" Jihoon breathes on his ears and Hyunsuk has to ignore the goosebumps that appear all over his arms. The younger's face was so close to his that he could count the number of eyelashes on Jihoon's eyelids, if he wanted to. Instead, he closes his eyes. There was sexual tension in the air - the younger obviously thinking that Hyunsuk's attack on his neck earlier was an invitation for sex. And honestly, considering that they both hadn't touched each other for a while, Hyunsuk wouldn't mind.
One problem though: The scene from earlier won't stop playing on loop in his brain.
"Forget it," he bites out, staring up at Jihoon's look of confusion. He sees Jihoon trying to assess the deepening scowl on this face, but he doesn't bother trying to calm the flames of anger starting to boil within him.
Most of his anger stems from how Jihoon doesn't know why he's acting like this - as if the other didn't stick to Junkyu the whole time throughout the VLIVE schedule. The fans even freaked out and spammed "Jikyu" in the comments, and Hyunsuk had to sit there with a smile on his face trying to ignore the way Jihoon placed his hand on Junkyu's thigh. How can he be so damn oblivious?
It's not like their relationship has been unicorns and cats lately, too - they've been more irritable than usual, snapping at each other over nothing. Hyunsuk isn't the type to be insecure in his relationships, but for fucks sake, does his boyfriend have to openly flirt with his team member while they were on bad terms? Talk about low EQ.
Hyunsuk puffs. The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. It shows in his expression, and Jihoon confusedly observes the way Hyunsuk's ears and nose turns red.
Before Hyunsuk can shove him off and ignore him for the rest of the day, like how their fights have been going nowadays, Jihoon pins his wrists under a hand, the veins of his biceps outlined against milky skin. Hyunsuk tries to push him off, but Jihoon is so much bigger and stronger. He tries again, twisting his arms and pulling the weight of his body against the other to kick him away, but Jihoon doesn't move. Doesn't budge, even. He just stares at Hyunsuk with dark calculating eyes, and for some reason, Hyunsuk suddenly feels himself hardening at the situation.
Wait, what?
His breathing becomes laboured, and he closes his eyes in an attempt to focus. He's angry. At least, he should be, so why is he getting flustered out of a sudden? With his eyes closed, Hyunsuk misses the way Jihoon's eyebrows raise before the latter pushes his wrists harder against the wall, effectively pinning the older in place. He lets out an instinctive gasp and doesn't notice the slow grind of his hips against the younger's thigh.
"Hyung," Jihoon starts, slightly loosening his hold on the older's wrists. Hyunsuk stiffens, whining almost on instinct, and Jihoon expresses a look of confusion. "I don't –"
Except Hyunsuk doesn't hear anything, doesn't even recall how he got himself into this situation. All he can focus on is the tight hold Jihoon has on his wrists, sandwiched between Jihoon's big, hard body and the wall. Hyunsuk doesn't think he can get out even if he tried. For some reason, that sends a thrill down his spine, a warmth that envelopes his body and leaves him simmering in need. He likes being pinned under Jihoon's body, helpless to whatever the younger wanted to do to him.
Huh. Shit.
The realisation dawns onto Hyunsuk like a bucket of ice, and he jumps into the air in shock. Hyunsuk feels how Jihoon releases him in confusion, mouth open, and Hyunsuk had half a mind to think about how perplexed the younger might be. But sirens blare in Hyunsuk's head. The only thing he can focus on is the hard-on between his legs from being held down, pinned, and helpless.
Held down, pinned, and helpless. What the fuck is up with that?
Pricks of shame stab under his skin, and he opens his mouth to say something, but no words manage to come out. How does he even – heck, what can he even say?
Hey babe, I was jealous of you and Junkyu being so touchy, so we were going to fight for the ninth time this week. But suddenly I'm discovering that I'm a freak who wants to be held down and fucked. Wanna do that for me? xoxo
Hyunsuk shakes his head. Yeah, no, he doesn't think he can deal with this. Jihoon is still confused at the turn of events, eyes reflecting mild irritation, probably because Hyunsuk hasn't answered or acknowledged any of his words for the last whole minute. As he stares up at his boyfriend, mind still noisy from the warning sirens, the confusion, and the laughter of his members teasing him if they ever potentially find out – he realises that he has to go.
In an instant, he unlocks the door, takes one last look at the younger, then slips out.
Jihoon blinks in confusion. What just happened?
♥️
Hyung, are you ok?
Talk to me
Hello?
yea
it's nth
sry
Hyunsuk shifts. It's a Wednesday night, and he's already back in the dorm, lying on his bed. He tries to rationalize everything that had happened, from witnessing his boyfriend and his friend glued to the hip throughout the whole live schedule, to the bright purple lights in his studio where he marked Jihoon's neck in possession. He tries to make sense of it all, but he always goes back to the feeling of being stuck in between Jihoon's body and the wall, with nowhere to run, helpless to the younger's dark eyes..– he clears his throat.
There's an awkward twist in his gut as he tries to weigh his options.
He could forget everything that happened and go back as per usual. Sure, things have been prickly in his relationship lately, with both of them stressed out with activities and managing the kids. But he could deal with the arguments and silent treatment - well, they suck, and he misses when it was nothing but comfort and love between Jihoon and him, but it's not like they're going to break up or something. It's tiring, but things are fine. Manageable.
He nods.
Or, he could also... explore his newly discovered feelings a little bit more. At the thought, he feels his dick twitch in interest.
Before Hyunsuk can convince himself out of it, he does a quick Google search and clicks on the first link that pops up. It opens to a tweet with a video, and Hyunsuk realises that it's not safe-for-work, a graphic depiction of two men together on the bed - one in tears, begging and squirming under the tight hold that the other had on his arms.
"You like getting fucked, slut?" the audio plays, but Hyunsuk can only focus on the hard, curved shaft of the guy on the bottom. The man continues to struggle, twists his wrists against the other's hold, releasing high-pitched whimpers and long exhales of breath. He's crying, struggling even, but he's still so hard.. and suddenly Hyunsuk can't breathe. The other man was still going on, snarling nasty, almost downright mean words to the other, and Hyunsuk only has so much self-control before he's slipping his hands under his pyjama bottoms, hissing at the sensation on his already hard dick.
"You've insatiable. Do you like getting fucked that much? Can't stop acting like a bitch in heat?"
Hyunsuk closes his eyes and bites on his bottom lips. He does play with himself sometimes, but today feels more intense as usual. He spends a little more time stroking his cock before he goes to suck on two fingers softly. He licks them, moaning softly in anticipation as the video continues to play in the background. Once he deems them wet enough, he brings them down to his hole, circling once, twice, before slowly pushing a finger in. A sigh comes out of his mouth, his heart beating fast and body thrumming with pleasure at the feeling of having his hole filled.
"Stupid slut," the man in the video spits out, and Hyunsuk moans at the same time as the bottom in the video. He quickly adds in another finger, eyes shut and mouth gaping at the stretch. He's tight, haven't been able to find the time to play with himself for a while. Pumping his fingers in and out of his hole, he throws his head back onto the pillow and curses under his breath. Hyunsuk is so turned on, and the sound of the man crying in the video does nothing to help as his dick curves up angrily against his abdomen.
At a deeper thrust, he manages to hit his prostate, and the deep long moan he lets out echoes throughout the room. There's a chance his dormmates would hear it, but Hyunsuk can't bring himself to care at this point, repeatedly pressing against the bundle of nerves that has him seeing stars beneath his eyelids. He bares his neck, feeling the bead of sweat that rolls down it. All he can think about is being under a certain man, losing control, being forced to submit and take whatever is given to him, lost in the pleasure of being forced, being used––––
His phone pings. Hyunsuk opens his eyes and barely catches the lines of grey appearing at the top of the video, sliding in three quick successions,
Okay hyung
Let's talk tomorrow
I love you so much.
Fuck.
Hyunsuk comes with a groan.
♥️
There's something to be said about Hyunsuk's ability to completely isolate himself from everything and live in a state of delusion. After the mind-blowing orgasm that night - possibly the best one he's had so far, and he's had pretty good ones during his sessions with Jihoon, so that's saying something - Hyunsuk took a second to breathe before he convinced himself to fall asleep - an attempt to pretend that nothing happened. When he woke up, he did consider trying to unpack the experience from the night before. Unfortunately that thought was shut down the moment it was brought up. He wasn't interested in putting himself through that, nope. With a dramatic, resolute sigh, he nods to himself and decides that He Did Not Want To Deal With This, and so he has spent almost the entirety of the day locked in the studio.
Queue right now where he's trying to pretend he doesn't hear the repetitive knocking on the door. The beats that he's been working on blares in the studio, baselines drumming off the walls, but he can still hear the annoying whines of "hyung, let me in" that's coming from the other side of the door.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose. So much for isolation. Hyunsuk feels stupid to think that he could be the Main Character™ who disappears and goes through self-reflection as part of their growth arch. He literally has ten kids. The only growth arch he got was when he finally learnt how to get the group quiet without having to repeat himself more than three times.
The knocking continues throughout his self-despair, and he hesitantly stands up, dragging his feet towards the door. Staring at the door handle, Hyunsuk wonders if he could pretend to play dead. Would that shoo the other away? Knowing that these kids could literally not give a fuck, it probably won't, so Hyunsuk sighs and unlocks the door handle with a soft click.
Junkyu storms inside the room almost immediately, pushing past the older to dump himself on his couch. He falls with a thud and stretches his limbs obnoxiously, resembling a starfish of some sort. Hyunsuk considers calling the police. Instead, he eyes the other warily as he closes the door, already dreading what's to come.
"So," Junkyu drawls out a second later, dragging the 'o' sound with a pout. All the while, he looks expectantly at him, but Hyunsuk doesn't know what to expect, so he opts to stare back dumbly.
The staring contest lasts for a while. Hyunsuk has got nothing to lose, so he cocks his head to the side, and pretends that he isn't thinking about the time the younger broke a tumbler during a VLIVE schedule. He muffles his laughter with a cough, and Junkyu scratches his nose.
The silence continues.
"Are you and Jihoonie fighting again?"
His brows furrow. Before he could say anything, Junkyu continues, eyes glinting in amusement. "He's my best friend. Of course I know. He's been going on the whole day about how you're avoiding him."
Shit, Hyunsuk curses internally, guilt creeping up onto him. Suddenly he's not in a playful mood anymore. Yeah, so he did choose to isolate himself due to his own delusion, but he forgot that the younger tends to get protective and worried over his well-being, almost excessively. Chewing on his bottom lip, his eyebrows furrow as he thinks about how he might be exaggerating a small matter at the expense of his relationship.
"I, um, no?" Hyunsuk looks at Junkyu, who's still gazing back at him with a mischievous tilt on his lips. "Just," he sighs, "I might be a little out of it?"
The older drags his body back to his chair, turning the track playing in the background off. He ignores the way Junkyu observes his every action.
"Like, we haven't been in the best state because of the incoming comeback, so when we're together, I don't know? We're just tired. It's tough," Hyunsuk bites his lips, body slumping over the chair. He considers telling Junkyu about the other predicament, but his ears flush and he stops himself.
The ticking from the clock cuts through the silence, but Hyunsuk doesn't hear anything over the noise in his mind that comes with his anxiety. Suddenly it all rushes back to him, and the fragile temporary haven that he had set for himself breaks as he's forced to confront the issues that have been bothering him.
When Hyunsuk looks up, he sees Junkyu looking at him with a kinder gaze. The other sits up from the couch, walks towards him, sighs, then ruffles his hair. Hyunsuk blinks up in confusion at the sudden affection, but Junkyu looks at him fondly then murmurs, "Y'know that I'm always here for you if you need me," before he walks towards the door.
"Also, you should talk to Hoonie to sort things out. Just something for you to think about, hyung. Don't go through tough things by yourself."
With that, Junkyu closes the door shut. The older blinks, then feels the tears well up in his eyes. Guilt washes over him, and he feels bad that the kids felt the need to step up and address the issues he's been having with Jihoon. After all, he is the leader, and he should be the one reassuring the younger boys.
He also thinks about how he's the one that's supposed to put out a tough front, but the fights that he's been having with the other leader has been exhausting and leaving him blue every other day. Every time he tries to reflect on their arguments, it all dumbs down to stupid, insignificant things. They were both just –– sensitive. Tired.
Looking at the door that Junkyu just went out from, Hyunsuk also feels grateful for having such supportive friends, who are family more than they are members. Granted, Junkyu did come into his studio with the intent to annoy Hyunsuk. Still, ultimately, the small act of affection comforted the older and reassured him that everything would be okay. Both in terms of his relationship with Jihoon and also the nifty other problem he managed to discover. All he had to do was to talk to the other leader. It was so simple, yet so wise.
"Don't go through tough things by yourself."
Junkyu's words echo in his brain as Hyunsuk fumbles through his back pocket to reach for his phone. He sees the missed calls and dozens of messages immediately, pouting in guilt.
Morning hyung
What will you be doing tdy
Hyung?
You awake?
Have you eaten?
I'm sorry for making you mad yesterday
I love you
Hyung?
Where are you?
I'm sorry
hoonie
Hyunsuk sticks out his tongue as he tries to piece out what he wanted to say to the other. He was about to start typing until his phone vibrates in his hand. A reply from Jihoon.
Hyung?
The older can only imagine the concern that the younger was feeling now, and he feels bad for unintentionally giving Jihoon the silent treatment. Before he could type a reply, his phone starts ringing, and Hyunsuk slides the screen without a second thought.
"Hey, sorry I disappeared today," Hyunsuk mumbles, eyes downcast as he scratches the back of his neck. He feels like a fucking baby.
"Did anything happen? Are you okay?" Hyunsuk can almost see the crease in Jihoon's eyebrows, and the worry that's probably etched in the other's features. If Jihoon was here, he would be fretting over the older, smoothing over Hyunsuk's cheeks, eyes, nose until he was sure that the older was perfectly fine.
"M'sorry. It's been," Hyunsuk pauses, searching for the correct words to say, "confusing. And tiring."
He's unsure if he should say more, feeling the weight of the past few weeks land on his shoulders. Heaving a long, shuddering breath, Hyunsuk closes his eyes as he waits for Jihoon to break the disconcerting silence. For a second, he thought that he hasn't turned off the track playing on his iMac, but then he realises that it's just the sound of his hammering heart thumping against his chest. Shit. Maybe he should just tell Jihoon to forget it, and he'll try to be less sensitive, or something.
And also pretend that he doesn't have a fucking degradation kink.
"Let's talk, baby," Jihoon's voice is so soft that Hyunsuk almost thought that he was imagining the other's reply. He's aware that the younger is trying to pick his words carefully, knowing his boyfriend's willingness to run from problems instead of facing them. "I'll come over, and let's talk it out. Whatever happens, I'll still love you, and we'll be fine."
Hyunsuk nods, forgetting that Jihoon couldn't see him. He bites back his tears and fists his sweater in his hands, overwhelmed at the act of love and reassurance. There's something lodged in his throat that prevents him from replying. All he manages is a small "love you," quickly realising that among other things, he'll have to tell his boyfriend that he wants to be pinned and fucked senseless till he cries.
"Love you too, hyung."
♥️
Hyunsuk busies himself. He thinks he's being productive composing the group's B-tracks, but it doesn't take an idiot to know that he's not really paying attention to his work. Even Jihoon knows this too, and he waits patiently as he watches his boyfriend mindlessly fiddle with the synthesizer.
A sigh unknowingly escapes Hyunsuk, and his head swims with the issues at hand. His heart feels as though it's being shrunk, clenched in a tight fist, but when he remembers Jihoon's words, Whatever happens, I'll still love you, and we'll be fine, he feels the organ stretching back to its original size, bouncing back against the anxiety and muddiness.
He knows that Jihoon is observing his long exhale, so he finally looks up at him.
"Hey, Ji."
At Jihoon's welcoming smile, Hyunsuk feels his nerves calm, like waves cascading in to slowly wash his worries away.
It has always been like this– he has always found comfort, a home, within the other. It was stupid for him to think that things would change that easily. Hyunsuk draws his legs up onto himself, hugging his own frame with his left cheek resting on his knee. He hums, eyes soft as he stares at the man across him. Jihoon is patient, never losing the encouraging, warm smile, and Hyunsuk further tightens his hold on himself for the comfort and the way it makes him feel small.
Oh. Yeah.
"Baby," Jihoon murmurs. The older sucks in a sharp breath, and he scrunches his eyes shut. He vaguely hears the rustling, the footsteps, and he opens his eyes to see Jihoon hovering over him, hands on either side of the chair handles. "Let's talk, hyung."
He feels the ground below him steady, and his mind zeroes onto the situation at hand. Suddenly everything is silent, and he no longer hears the noise from his head, now replaced with the steady beating of his heart. He knows that the younger is waiting for his answer.
"I–" he tries to start. Jihoon looks at him patiently as he tries to sort through his jumbled mind, saying nothing for a long time.
"I," his throat is dry as he croaks out a reply. Jihoon looks at him encouragingly, nodding softly with a warm smile on his face, "it's just that, things have been so rough between us lately, y'know?" Hyunsuk is unsure, doesn't want to say something wrong– god forbid they get into another argument– but once he starts, it's like he can't stop, and words come rushing out of his mouth before he can help it.
"We're both so tired, and because of that we keep fighting over stupid stuff. And it makes me feel even– even more exhausted, and cranky, and drained, so the cycle just continues, and I'm just so sick of us arguing all the time. I'm so tired."
"I just miss you, Ji," Hyunsuk looks up, and he only then notices the tears clinging onto his eyelashes. He doesn't know how the younger will react, but he feels lighter, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders after a long time despite his tears. All this while, none of them were willing to put their pride down to admit that they still love and miss each other, and the ego-game has been as exhausting as their actual arguments themselves.
Now that he said it first, I miss you, Ji, Hyunsuk can't stop the wide grin that forms on his face, eyes scrunched as he looks at Jihoon who hasn't lost the kind smile. He lets out a soft giggle, and watches how Jihoon can't help but beam stupidly at him back. The younger squats down, hands never leaving the chair handles on the sides of Hyunsuk's body, and looks up at Hyunsuk with eyes filled with adoration. The older feels his heart skip.
"I miss you too, and I'm sorry for being such a jerk these days, hyung," Hyunsuk wants to shake his head, and tells him that it's fine, but Jihoon shushes him so he can continue. "You know it too, so let's not pretend that we both haven't been mean to each other," Jihoon says with a mischievous laugh. Hyunsuk feels his heart swell at the younger, and thinks that he might be falling in love all over again. "We have, and it needs to stop. We're the leaders, and we can't keep pretending that we're fine when everyone obviously knows that we're not. Let's be better together, hmm, baby?"
Hyunsuk's heart aches– in a good way, inflating till it's about to burst out of his chest. Suddenly, everything is okay, and Hyunsuk feels stupid that he didn't think to do this sooner. The love he has for the younger is unmeasurable, and he's so in awe of how collected and rational the younger can be. It has always been like this; Jihoon has always been the centre of Hyunsuk's love and adoration, his source of comfort and familiarity, a steady figure that Hyunsuk can rely on when it gets too hard.
He stretches his leg and places them down, holding onto Jihoon's face with both hands with eyes expressing nothing but pure love. A nod, before he's slowly kissing the younger, an innocent act between two young men in love. Jihoon kisses back, and he can feel both of their dumb smiles in between the messy lock of lips. Just like that, all the hurt and exhaustion from before bleed out. Hyunsuk feels calm, both in his body and mind, as if they were strung out like a taut bow before. It's over now, and Hyunsuk can't help the dopey grin on his face, and it wasn't even that hard.
When they part, he wipes his mouth with a giggle. He looks at the younger, just stares at him, and flushes when the other man stares at him back. It's nothing but warmth and fondness between them, but then Jihoon softly whispers, "I still need to ask you something," and suddenly, the bubble breaks.
"Wha?–what is it, Ji?" Hyunsuk bites his lips, eyes going shaky. He has a strong, strong intuition that it's about.. that, knows that Jihoon suspects it from all the times he replayed that scene in his head. All over again, Hyunsuk can feel himself close off, curling deeper into himself with his heartbeat throbbing in his ears.
"That day," Jihoon starts, softly– careful with his words, eyeing the older warily in case he loses him again, "you.. your reaction to me."
Hyunsuk sucks in a sharp breath. So it is about that.
"Hyung, you..– I need to know what it is, hyung, baby, why did you..?"
Hyunsuk feels his mouth dry, fists clenched hard, so tight that his nails dig into his palm. Jihoon sees this, and slowly flattens the other's small hands, interlocking them together with his afterwards.
"I need to know, hyung. Did I cross a boundary? Did you not like it when I held onto you like that?"
What? No! Hyunsuk wants to scream, but his lips are sealed shut as his breathing picks up. He's anxious, an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck, but he knows that he needs to answer. It's a long while as Hyunsuk takes several deep breaths to calm his anxious heart, mind convincing that Jihoon has never done anything to hurt him intentionally, and that it's not something to be ashamed of.
Patience must be in the younger's blood or something, because he sits there, quiet, never pressuring the older to answer amidst his mental conflict. Hyunsuk finds comfort and steadiness from the other's presence, and he counts the pulse of his heartbeat to ground himself.
"Um, no– actuallyIlikedit."
Hyunsuk didn't mean to literally start rapping, but he does so in such a tiny voice that Jihoon has to come closer to catch onto his words. Biting his lips, he wishes the younger actually heard him because he might dig a hole and bury himself if he has to repeat it again. Fuck.
Luckily, the younger catches on, if the expression on his face does anything to reveal it. A little flustered, Jihoon didn't expect that this would take a sexual turn, but he steels himself to remain understanding and ready to listen to the older's discovery. "Wha– You like it, hyung? What do you mean?"
Hyunsuk's throat is tight, doesn't know if he can answer any further. He wonders if he can divert this conversation somewhere else and pretend it never happened, but Jihoon brings a hand up to stroke the side of his jaw, slowly, softly, and Hyunsuk looks at him and the ground steadies again.
"You pinned me down that day," Hyunsuk breathes out, sounding almost painful, "I like that. I like being under you." He slowly lifts his eyes to meet the other's but doesn't expect the understanding gaze that the younger maintains, fingers still idly stroking the side of his face. The action lulls him into relaxation, and he finds the courage to go on, "I like that– that, even if I tried, I couldn't push you off."
Hyunsuk closes his eyes, too embarrassed to say anything else. He grips onto the chair handle tightly, but Jihoon just waits, hums patiently, and there's no air of judgement whatsoever exuding off of him. It resolves Hyunsuk to continue.
"I like when– um, you.. you can say mean things to me, I'll like that a lot," he hesitantly opens his eyes again, eyes meeting Jihoon's, "and be really rough, if you want to.. and just, hold me down?" It ends with a questioning tone, with Hyunsuk not yet figuring out what all this actually means or entails. That doesn't seem like a problem to the younger, who's quiet for a while before he exhales softly, smiling at the older once more.
"I think I understand, hyung," Jihoon warmly gazes at him, but Hyunsuk thinks he sees something swirling in the younger's eyes, dark and calculating. He blinks, and suddenly it's gone. Then Jihoon is standing up, groaning at the ache in his legs from squatting for too long.
"You hungry? Let's order in dinner."
The younger walks to the couch to grab his phone, absentmindedly scrolling through the delivery app like nothing ever happened, and Hyunsuk feels absolutely baffled. He opens his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the words to say– something like, what? Is that all you have to say to me? or aren't you going to acknowledge that I just revealed my darkest guilty pleasure to you, what the fuck??? but Jihoon just looks up at him expectantly, and asks if fried chicken is okay.
Huh.
Hyunsuk thinks he's in a vivid dream.
"Yeah, fried chicken is good."
♥️
Gym class just ended, and Hyunsuk rubs the back of his neck with a pout. His hair is wet from the shower he took in the building's toilet earlier. Hwangssabu never ever gives him a break during the workout sessions, so now he has a sore in his calf that he knows will take days to heal.
The elevator door opens with a ping, and Hyunsuk looks up before he exits the lift. His shoulders ache from carrying a duffel bag filled with dirty laundry, but he doesn't have much of a choice since he was the one who chose to gather all his roommate's sweaty workout clothes to collectively wash everything in the machine. The younger kids are all still busy with their activities in the company building, but Hyunsuk has some time off after a late night in the studio the previous day.
He fiddles with the digital lock as he belatedly wonders if there's still detergent left. That's important, because it could literally fuck up his whole washing schedule, and there's a frown etched on his face as he shakes off his shoes and enters the dorm, and uuuff–
Jihoon pushes him against the wall, and his breath is knocked out of him. Quite literally, as the other man immediately slots their lips together and kisses him, hard, and Hyunsuk feels his head begin to swim with the need for oxygen. The younger takes a hold of the duffel bag with one hand, throwing it somewhere along the living area, forgotten for now, as Hyunsuk tries to make sense of what's happening. He would push the younger away, except he's pinned - the whole weight of Jihoon's body against him, strong, toned biceps flexed against his small wrists.
Hyunsuk bites Jihoon's lips. His teeth sink into the other's, hard, and Hyunsuk giddily thinks about how Jihoon might shove him down on the floor as punishment. The thought of the younger climbing over him, surrounding him with his broad shoulders, lean body, taking whatever he wanted from him, using his body solely for his own pleasure, just– Hyunsuk whines in his throat at the thought, and feels blood quickly rushing down to his cock, already straining against the fabric of his jeans.
Jihoon releases the older's lips, hissing at the bite. His body presses harder against Hyunsuk's in warning, and Hyunsuk lets out a small whimper. He feels like he's burning and melting under Jihoon, as nimble fingers sneak under his shirt, traces across his stomach, up to his nipples, before harshly pinching it. The older lets out a deep groan, but Jihoon doesn't seem like he cares as he forgoes kissing the older to ravage Hyunsuk's neck, peppering featherlight licks down to his collarbone.
"Ji, wait, ah, ah–" Hyunsuk can't shut up, overwhelmed at the sensation of being touched in his most sensitive places. He tries to turn his neck away from Jihoon's lips, but the younger's hand forcefully yanks his hair to the other side, baring it. Immediately, Jihoon moves his lips to continue pressing sweet, messy kisses along the length of his neck, free hand going back to toying with the older's nipples, already hardened, and Hyunsuk doesn't know when his windbreaker falls off but he honestly can't bring himself to care. The younger's mouth on him is warm and gentle, an extreme contrast to the way his nipples are being pinched and played with roughly, and it feels so– so good, Hyunsuk can't think, and his hips grind unconsciously against the swell of Jihoon's cock pressing against him.
It's so good and Hyunsuk feels like a hot flame.
"Hmm," Jihoon murmurs against the skin of Hyunsuk's neck, "is this what you wanted, baby?" He bites down, and Hyunsuk's legs give out as he abruptly crumbles against the other's body. Jihoon soothes the bite with kittenish licks over the forming bruise and holds the older up even tighter by his wrists.
"Ji, Hoonie – haa – what – ah," Hyunsuk is dizzy with arousal, body melting under the younger's. He lets out continuous high-pitched whines, grinding against Jihoon's hard shaft, mouth hanging open. The combined sensations of being held down, neck and nipples abused, makes Hyunsuk's head swim, and he just knows he couldn't push the other off. Even with all of his effort, Jihoon is bigger and stronger than him and that thought has Hyunsuk's eyes tearing in anticipation.
"Use proper words, hyung," Jihoon's voice is deep, and the older opens his eyes to look at him. He shivers at the dark, hungry gaze, cheeks flush when Jihoon continues, "don't tell me sluts can't speak?"
Hyunsuk wants to retort. But in this position, with his back pressed into the wall and hands above his head in a tight grip, feeling small and helpless with all sense of control being taken away from him, Hyunsuk could only pathetically sniffle.
"Gonna cry already? We haven't even started," the younger coos, before pulling his body away. Hands still tightly gripping the other's small wrists, Jihoon drags Hyunsuk to his bedroom, roughly pushing the older onto the bed as he momentarily lets go to lock the door.
Hyunsuk bounces on the bed, and for dramatics, scowers towards the head of the frame as he looks at Jihoon with watery eyes. He sees concern flashing on Jihoon's face briefly, and Hyunsuk holds his breath. He promised.
Jihoon promised he wouldn't stop.
Not without the safe word.
The younger stalks forward, never breaking eye contact with the older, and Hyunsuk feels his breath hitch before the younger grabs his ankles, yanks him down onto the bed, and once again kisses him senseless. The hand that grips his arms is unforgiving, fingers digging in too deep, and Hyunsuk cries out despite himself. Jihoon uses his free hand to strip the older of the black oversized t-shirt, while chuckling at the little moans that leave Hyunsuk's mouth.
He swallows them all with his mouth, grinding their hips together. Hyunsuk is a mess - mouth drooling, eyes tearing, gasping for breath at the assault of all his senses, but he's so turned on he could barely care. He has half a mind to wonder if Junkyu or Yoshi were to come back home, would they hear his whimpers? Ears red, he thinks that he wouldn't really actually mind.
(Oh no. He might need to figure that out later.)
Hyunsuk comes back into reality with a groan, only noticing that Jihoon has abandoned his lips in favour of his nipples, already red and sore from the previous assault. He cries out, head thrown back in pleasure as the younger sucks on a bud, messily licking and suckling like it's the best fucking thing he's ever tasted. His cock gets harder, angry and red at how good he feels. Trying to gain friction, he rubs himself on Jihoon's, mind beyond the shame of his desperation.
"Tell me how much you want me to fuck you, hyung," Jihoon breathes onto his abused nipple, and Hyunsuk feels a tear slide down the side of his face.
"N–no, I don't wann– ah!" Jihoon bites the bud, eyes daring Hyunsuk to continue, and it sends a thrill down his spine. Head farther from reality, he doesn't feel Jihoon stripping him off his pants, but there's fingers slipping between his cheeks and rubbing at his entrance slowly, teasing. Hyunsuk sobs out his name, so, so desperate, pushing back into the touch. Everything was becoming too much – slowly, then all at once.
"I don't like it when you lie, hyung." Hyunsuk buries his urge to sink onto his knees and beg for forgiveness.
"Please," voice raspy, Hyunsuk feels breathless, zoned out.
"Please what, baby?" Jihoon eggs, and the finger on his hole presses harder, but doesn't enter. Hyunsuk wriggles and bites back a loud moan as Jihoon's free hand grips his neck, holding him down tightly with long fingers. No words come out, Hyunsuk can only manage to cry in desperation before his boyfriend seems to pity him and presses the finger in. A long groan leaves his mouth as the younger adds in a second finger almost immediately, and his breath quivers as Jihoon starts pumping them.
"You take my fingers so well," Jihoon breathes into the older's ear, tickling his lobe while his fingers fuck faster, harder into Hyunsuk. "Did you want me that bad, you whore? You were waiting for me to fuck you all this while?"
Hyunsuk can barely answer, gasping at the force of the fingers pumping in and out of him. The younger's words slur together in his head, mushing into nothing with Hyunsuk's inability to concentrate. "I'm not– I don't? Not a whore," Hyunsuk manages to gasp out through the pants he's letting out from the fingers teasing his hole.
He hears Jihoon chuckle, low and wanting, in his ear, and goosebumps rise all over his body. "Are you sure, hyung?" a jab to Hyunsuk's prostate, and he arches his back, body off the mattress, mouth wide open. "You're acting like one, so desperate to get fucked. You like this, don't you?"
Hyunsuk can't even deny it. The pleasure intensifies with Jihoon's words ringing in his ears, and he whines and tries to fuck up onto Jihoon's body in an attempt to gain some friction. The only thing that would make this better would be if Jihoon's cock is slamming into him, but he knows that he hasn't earned the right to be fucked yet– wants to be humiliated till he cries before Jihoon deems him worthy of his cock.
"Ji, I, ah, ah, ah," Hyunsuk moans, unable to stop the tears from streaming down his face.
"Shut up," Jihoon snaps, "stop being noisy unless you're begging for me to fuck you."
Hyunsuk shuts his eyes shut. He doesn't know where Jihoon learnt to be like this, but it's so fucking hot. Hyunsuk can't stop victimizing himself, feeling small and stupid at the way Jihoon talks down to him. He only manages babbles incoherently through the tears and snot, helplessly turned on.
"Please, please, Ji, ah! – fuck me, please, please, I can't–"
Thank god Jihoon doesn't keep him waiting, because at the first plea, he's sliding into Hyunsuk with one swift thrust. Hyunsuk screams, a high-pitched sound from the back of his throat, but Jihoon pays him no mind, doesn't even wait for him to adjust before he starts harshly fucking into Hyunsuk.
God, it's so good. The slide of Jihoon's cock so deep inside him, finally, finally, after all the exhaustion, the angst from the past couple of months, and Hyunsuk feels overwhelmed taking it all in. It's rough, and the pace makes him ache, but Hyunsuk doesn't care because he'll gladly take whatever Jihoon deigns to give him. He craves it – being fucked, feeling stupid, helpless, used as a fucking toy just for Jihoon's pleasure; nothing about him matters besides how good he is for Jihoon's cock, and Hyunsuk is unreasonably hard.
The bed is shaking with every thrust, and Jihoon uses one hand to grip onto the older's waist and the other to gather Hyunsuk's wrists above his head again, pinning him down onto the bed. He continues to thrust, hips moving erratically without a care for anything but his own pleasure. He stares at the way Hyunsuk falls apart, and Hyunsuk can hear the younger's dark laughter, shaming him for giving his body up so easily like a good fucking slut.
"You wanted this, yeah hyung?" Jihoon punctuates with a harsh thrust, and Hyunsuk can't bring himself to answer, can only manage to drool onto himself, too blissed out to care for anything other than the in and out of Jihoon's cock in his sore hole. "You're so fucking greedy." Jihoon grabs a handful of Hyunsuk's hair, and Hyunsuk revels in the way the younger ignores his pained cry and forces the older to look at him as he fucks into him hard, the way Hyunsuk has been wanting to be fucked all this time.
"N-no–"
"You're so wet too," Jihoon laughs, and Hyunsuk can't stop sobbing at the stimulation of his prostate getting drilled continuously, "what are you, a girl? How can you be so wet baby?"
The older can't answer, just shakes his head vigorously while simultaneously fighting against his restraints and fucking himself back onto Jihoon's cock. His nose is sniffling, and he knows he looks pathetic. Jihoon coos, "aw, you're acting like such a stupid fucking slut. You begged me to fuck you and now you can't stop crying?"
"N–n–ah!"
"You can cry all you want, pet," Jihoon chuckles, eyes never leaving the older's. "You're still just a hole to me."
Hyunsuk is shaking, and he can't concentrate on anything other than the raw pleasure cursing into his veins. With the younger's degrading words, his sweat, snot, drool, and tears dribbling off his face, and the weight of the younger's body pinning against him, Hyunsuk feels thoroughly wrecked. He's crying, has been crying, and wants – wants Jihoon to absolutely put him in place as a good-for-nothing whore.
He clenches down as tightly as he can and revels in the sudden gasp that leaves the other's mouth. He does it again, wants to be praised– to be talked down on, and feels a strange kind of gloating pleasure at the way Jihoon shakily exhales against his neck.
"Fuck," the younger groans, head falling onto Hyunsuk's chest as he snaps his hips forward, "you always feel fucking good around me."
"Fucking whore. I can't believe I'm dating someone who loves taking cock this much," Jihoon grunts out. Hyunsuk is too lost in pleasure to fight, feeling the knot in his stomach steadily tighten.
"Yeah," he mindlessly replies, "love being– Ji, I want– love cock, your whore– Ji please, please please please–" Hyunsuk screams towards the end, and aggressively struggles against Jihoon's hold. He can't stop babbling, eyes rolling back into his head as he chokes when Jihoon lets go of his wrists to stick his sweaty fingers in his mouth. He tries his best to suck them, but is gagging, choking at the way Jihoon's so deep in his throat, in his loose hole– and he's unconditionally falling apart.
Jihoon curses at the sight.
"If you wanted this for so long, you should've just told me," Jihoon taunts, the satisfaction in his eyes sending pricks of shame up Hyunsuk's spine, to his neck. The younger bends his face forward towards the older, thrusts never faltering, before whispering, "I'd fuck a slut like you without hesitation."
Jihoon roughly grabs onto Hyunsuk's face, slotting his lips against the older's as he thrusts his cock into the gaping hole. Hyunsuk feels like he can't breathe, air sucked right out of him, but it doesn't matter because Jihoon is wrapping his hand around his cock, tight, pumping with the rhythm of the creaking bed.
It takes less than ten seconds before Hyunsuk downright loses himself, sobbing and wailing like a mess. He lets out a scream, choking on his own drool at the hot flash of pure, unfiltered pleasure that goes through his body. It feels overbearing, a completely new sensation, and he can't help the way his body shakes. Jihoon stays inside him through it all, cock pressing straight onto his prostate to milk the orgasm out of him, and Hyunsuk wants to beg the other to stop, it's too much, but his body feels too much like a rag as the younger pulls out, flips him over, and pushes right back in. He doesn't care that Hyunsuk head is smothered by the mattress, with no energy to hold himself up; he continues fucking into the older relentlessly, and at one point pushes his arm onto the back of the older's neck to keep his face down.
Hyunsuk has never felt more like a toy in his life.
He wails and shakes from oversensitivity, almost missing the way Jihoon mutters, "gonna cum inside you, fill your sloppy hole up."
The older shivers, feels his cock slowly harden again at Jihoon's unforgiving pace, completely ignoring how Hyunsuk can't fucking breathe– blubbering into the mattress. He knows the younger is close when he feels Jihoon's hips begin to stutter, and his thrusts lose its rhythm before he carelessly finishes inside the older.
"Fuck, baby," Jihoon groans out as he collapses beside the older. The older bounces off the bed a little from the force, and lets out a soft moan when he makes contact with the mattress again. He's sensitive, body still twitching in aftershocks.
It's a few long minutes before Jihoon breathes out, "you okay?", turning his body to look at the older, but Hyunsuk can't bring himself to even meet the younger's gaze. The exhaustion weighs on his eyelids, and he thinks he hears Jihoon chuckle as he lets out a deep yawn, not caring to cover his mouth. "Words, baby. I need to know that you're okay," he hears Jihoon whisper, and Hyunsuk cracks an eye open to glance at the younger.
"Mm, m'fine, maybe," Hyunsuk doesn't know why, but even his voice sounds distant to him, like he's floating somewhere and everything else is far away. He can feel Jihoon pushing the bangs off his face – maybe, he doesn't actually know–, and he musters all his remaining strength to hold onto his boyfriend's arms. "Don't go though, please," he mumbles, eyes slowly closing again.
"Right here, hyung," Jihoon presses a reassuring kiss onto Hyunsuk's temple. "Don't you want to clean up, though? You're leaking.."
Even with his eyes closed, he knows that Jihoon is grimacing. Honestly, Hyunsuk doesn't care that he can feel Jihoon's seed seep out of his hole. Today, he's Baby, so he burrows his face onto the crook of his boyfriend's neck and mumbles whatever.
Jihoon smiles softly at the older, enamoured at the adorable act, and tells him that he'll prepare a nice bath for the both of them tomorrow. At the older's lack of reply, Jihoon knows that he's already asleep, so he once again kisses Hyunsuk's forehead before pulling the duvet up to cover the both of them.
They'll be okay.