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Aphrodite was truly a gem.

The apple of his eyes, his daughter, his princess, his sugar-plum apple crumble pie with vanilla ice cream and a cherry on top. Yuta vividly remembered picking her up from the streets when she was as small as the palm of his hand, all tiny and shivering, she couldn’t even meow properly back then. She was skinny and seriously malnourished and Yuta didn’t think twice before scooping her up in his jacket and taking her to the nearest vet.

He hadn’t been planning on adopting her, he was just going to keep her while he looked for a family that could take care of her. After all, he had always had dogs and he didn’t know the first thing about cats.

As it turned out, looking for a forever home proved to be harder than expected, and not exactly because he hadn’t received offers. “You’re picky as fuck, Yuta,” Taeyong had told him back then. “That last family you turned down was perfect, what happened?” 

“They didn’t have a backyard!” 

“Yuta, she isn’t a dog, cats can live perfectly comfortably in an apartment. You don't have a backyard and she seems prettys fine to me.” 

“Because she’s used to mine already, it’s not the same.” 

“How on Earth is it not the same?”

 You don’t get it.”

In the end, Yuta stopped looking for a family for his tiny stray. He had come to terms with the fact that maybe he had already grown too attached to her. He couldn’t fathom coming back home from a stressful day at the studio and not having his little bundle of joy patiently waiting for him at home, taking a nap in the dirty clothes basket.

At first, the cat wasn't given a name for the sole reason that Yuta wasn’t planning on keeping her and he knew naming her would make things more difficult when the time to say goodbye came around. When he decided that his kitty wasn’t going anywhere, he named her Aphrodite. It was only fitting, seeing that his kitty was the most beautiful of them all.

As she grew up, Yuta realized Aphrodite wasn’t exactly a people’s cat and wasn’t as clingy as she was when kitten. It’s not like he minded; she still let Yuta pet her and scoop her up a few times a day but that was it. She didn’t follow Yuta around and only willingly got close to him when it was time to sleep, then she would sleep between Yuta’s feet or legs, or wherever she saw a tiny free spot. It wasn’t a big deal and Yuta got used to it quite quickly. At some point he wondered if his cat had become like that because Yuta wasn’t around as much as he would have liked.

But then again, she wasn’t a big fan of his friends either. Mark was the exception, his younger neighbour who sometimes took care of her when Yuta had to travel for competitions. It wasn’t like she was any different with Mark but at least she let the other man pet her for a couple of minutes and that was good enough for Yuta to trust him with his cat. At least she hadn’t scratched him up like she did Taeyong and Ten.

And that was the reason why now Yuta felt absolutely betrayed when he saw his not so tiny bundle of not-so-much joy purred perfectly content whenever Jaehyun crouched down to pamper her. Jaehyun. Freaking Jaehyun , whom Yuta had met at a charity event when his team was invited to perform as entertainment. It was nothing fancy, a nice and humble dinner plus a show sort of thingy to raise funds for the local fire department. Of course, the whole brigade was also there and Yuta had to admit they made donating money all the more easier, what with those faces and easy smiles. Perhaps the fire department had already realized the potential of their workers given they had lined them up behind the donation boxes, as if they were some sort of treat for the eye once you feed them some bills.

It was smart, albeit a bit shallow. But it did the trick. 

Actually, Jaehyun and Yuta had met briefly in the bathroom when the dancer had gone for a quick piss before performing. The other man was already washing his hands when Yuta all but barged into the small bathroom. 

“Sorry, I really need to go,” Yuta apologized when he realised he had almost torn the door down.

“Don’t worry, been there,” the handsome fireman replied back. He eyed Yuta up and down really quickly, taking in his outfit and sparkling make-up. “One of the dancers?”

“Yeah,” Yuta said, a bit impatient. He was literally pissing himself and this fireman, good-looking as he was, was trying to initiate a conversation Yuta preferred to have some other time. Of course, he could be rude and ignore him and just go into the stall but Yuta recognized the other as   one of the firemen who had kind of organised the whole thing. Yuta didn’t want him to think badly of this dance company.

“Good luck with your performance,” the fireman said, drying his hands and going for the door. “I’ll be watching.”

And while Yuta finally emptied his bladder, he didn’t stop to think why that last comment had made him shiver.

After the performance, Jaehyun had looked for him to congratulate him on such a good show. One thing led to another and well, Jaehyun quickly became well acquainted with his bedsheets. And bathroom. And couch. And... yeah.

His fuck buddy , as Taeyong had kindly supplied.

And that was exactly the problem.

His goddamned cat decided that one of the people that would have the pleasure to hear her purr was his no one other than his fuck buddy .

Did he stress that Jaehyun was, indeed, someone Yuta only slept with and nothing else? Because Yuta thought it was a very important fact to highlight. It didn’t make any sense, especially because Aphrodite had always been particularly aggressive with the one-night stands Yuta used to bring home. Yet the first night Yuta had brought Jaehyun along, all it had taken was the younger man to drop to his knees in front of his cat and ask with a sugary voice “And who’s this pretty kitty, uh? Hello there, buddy” for Aphrodite to lower her defenses, tail swishing slowly as it wrapped around Jaehyun’s legs. After petting her for a solid minute, Jaehyun had stood up and kissed Yuta hard, pushing his body all the way towards the bedroom.

Before leaving, the fireman spared a moment to drop a kiss on top of Aphrodite’s head. At that moment, Yuta had had some sort of epiphany regarding his new dick appointment: Jaehyun was the first person to conquer the monster in such a short amount of time so maybe, maybe , that was a sign it was time to stop fucking around and just keep one steady bed partner for some time.

Of course, it wasn’t like he could actually decide that for himself. Jaehyun also had to be just as interested in him as Yuta was into the fireman for that to happen. He was, or at least that was what Yuta deduced when Jaehyun texted him the following day.

Jaehyun was drop-dead gorgeous, tall with midnight-blue dyed hair, dimples and a back so broad Yuta was sure he could carry the entire nation on it. And he was a firefighter, so he was out there putting fires out and saving lives and yeah... That was hot. And he liked animals. So really, Yuta was surprised when Jaehyun came back for more, and not because Yuta didn’t consider himself attractive. He knew he was and he was damn good at letting others know just how attractive he was. Yet for some reason, all that confidence that was daily exerted seemed to quiet down whenever Jaehyun was around.

He made Yuta nervous.

Of course, all those unexplored thoughts weren’t going to go anywhere because current Yuta was enjoying the way Jaehyun shuddered and moaned under his ministrations. He had the other man on his back while he lazily stroked him to full hardness. Jaehyun was about to get his soul sucked through his dick because he had shown up at Yuta’s door in his uniform since he had forgotten to take a change of clothes with him to work. Yuta’s mind went into overdrive the moment Jaehyun took off his heavy jacket, white tank top underneath with the black suspenders that kept his heavy trousers in place. It felt a bit like a bad porno but Yuta was not about to complain.

Yuta’s enthusiasm was rewarded in the most satisfying of ways, and when Jaehyun was done bending him over every surface available in his bedroom Aphrodite made herself known, meowing behind the door. Jaehyun laughed a little and accepted the change of clothes Yuta offered him so he didn’t have to put his sweaty uniform back on.

When he stepped outside, Jaehyun was already crouching down to coo at her.

“If it isn’t the cutest lady, aigoo”, he said in that stupid baby voice of his he put on when talking to Aphrodite. Yuta used to think his cat didn’t like being babied like that but it seemed Jaehyun was a bit of an exception. Bitch.

“Don’t spoil her so much,” Yuta said once he was done putting his clothes back on. He was leaning on the frame of his room’s door, looking down at Jaehyun playing with Aphrodite. “She becomes insufferable.”

“Don’t say that, she’s so sweet,” Jaehyun replied without even sparing Yuta a glance. He scratched her near her tail. “You’re not insufferable, right? You’re a cutie pie.” Aphrodite was purring so loudly Yuta felt second-hand embarrassment for his cat.

Jaehyun stood up after one last kiss to Aphrodite’s head and maybe he had spent too long playing with her but Yuta really didn’t care. For some reason, he didn’t have that itch to kick the other out just yet. He didn’t mind that Jaehyun stayed longer and longer every time he came around just to indulge his cat a little. 

{-}

“F-fuck, fuck, Jae-hyun, fuck,” Yuta grunted, feelings his thighs and calves burning from the pressure Jaehyun was putting onto them. “You’re gonna break me in a half, fuck.”

The other, however, didn’t relent. He kept his pace, pounding into Yuta with invigorated force. He had the smaller man folded underneath him, holding him by the ankles as he snapped his hips harder and harder.

“I’m trying to,” Jaehyun said, breathless. And fuck, maybe that shouldn’t arouse Yuta so much but it did, and his cock that was already wet from the pearls of precum oozing out of him, twitched. Yuta should really reconsider his tendencies at this point. Not now though, not when he was getting the dick of his life. He just lay there, trying to remember how to breathe because everything felt so overwhelming at this point, Jaehyun’s weight on him was a pleasant reminder that the other could, if he really wanted, let all of his weight drop on top of him and squish Yuta. For reasons he didn’t feel like dwelling too much on, the thought was unbearably hot.

Maybe Taeyong was right and he really had some unexplored kinks going on there.

“I’m—I’m close,” he warned, trying desperately not to reach down and stroke himself. He had tried to do that some minutes ago, only to receive a forceful slap against his ass. Jaehyun had been final. “You’re coming from my cock and my cock only, sweetheart.”

“Come on, Yuta, come on,” Jaehyun encouraged him. He changed positions and grabbed both of Yuta’s ankles with just one hand, letting the other press on Yuta’s shoulder, stretching Yuta to his limits. And fuuuuuuck, Yuta really felt like something might snap halfway there.  

“Come on, baby, come on.” It was fucking embarrasing and Yuta would deny it afterwards, but the petname had Yuta rolling his eyes back hard enough he could probably see his skull, legs shaking under Jaehyun’s body and cum painting his skin in no time. “That's it baby, you look so pretty like this.” Jaehyun kept on going, huffing and panting. “So fucking pretty.”

Yuta was pretty sure his bones had melted into the mattress, his body now nothing but a mass of unheld flesh and skin, something akin to that gross lemon jelly Mark liked to eat. He wasn’t able to feel the lower part of his body and there were now white spots flying all over his vision.

It didn’t take much longer for Jaehyun to finish, groans becoming louder by the second and his hips snapping without the smooth rhythm he had going seconds ago; they staggered and finally went still when he cummed into the condom, a loud drawn out “ fuuuck” leaving his lips as he emptied himself inside of Yuta.

Yuta watched as the other slowly took off the condom and tied it into a knot, promptly depossing it in the bin next to the night table. Fortunately, Jaehyun dropped next to Yuta instead of on top of him because as much as Yuta would have appreciated all that extra muscle on top of him, he was having a hard time catching his breath and for all he liked being choked he definitely didn’t want to die from asphyxiation.

“That was,” Jaehyun started, voice hoarse. “Yeah.”

Jaehyun looked amazing right now, Yuta thought as he lolled his head to the side to take a proper look at him. All sweaty with that healthy glow he always got after they fucked, it was mesmerizing and once again Yuta sent a quick prayer to whatever entity was looking after him. He was sure he couldn’t have gotten Jaehyun into his bed without divine intervention. Not when Jaehyun looked like that .

“What got you all riled up?” Yuta asked, brain still trying to rewire. He only remembered opening the door and the next moment, Jaehyun was already on him pushing him against the wall and hoisting him up by the thighs. He hadn't even said hello to Aphrodite, a clear sign something was going on. Yuta wasn’t able to recall a prior occasion whenJaehyun hadn’t come in and  dropped to his knees to kiss his stupid cat’s face and head, and coddle her.

The chuckles that escaped Jaehyun’s lips were so deep and attractive Yuta would be up for a next round in no time if it weren’t for the fact that he felt like fucking passing out at any point now.

“I feel terrible, I didn’t even say hi to Didi.” Ah, there it was, that stupid and endearing name Jaehyun had given to his devil of a cat. “Sorry for barging in just like that. I guess it was all the pent up frustration from not seeing you for over a week. Work’s been quite stressful as well.”

“Glad I can help,” Yuta replied, chuckling. He was not gonna say it out loud because he already felt at a disadvantage in their relationship, but not seeing Jaehyun for days also had Yuta’s entire system acting up. He wasn’t  worried because Yuta knew himself better than anyone else and he was aware he was prone to being rather intense when he liked someone. This time, for reasons he had yet to acknowledge, he didn’t feel like coming off as clingy when he had never had the need to tone himself down before.

“Sorry for going so hard on you.” Jaehyun suddenly looked worried. He extended his hand and gently massaged Yuta’s left thigh. 

“It’s okay.” And Yuta meant it. “I liked it. You’re lucky I’m so flexible or you would have to take me to some masseuse or something.” Jaehyun hummed in acknowledgement, not stopping his ministrations. He wasn’t doing a good job —his fingers too gentle to actually relieve some of the strain in the muscle— but Yuta didn’t have the heart to tell him that. He stayed quiet and enjoyed the fleeting tender moment.

“What time is it? Fuck, I should probably leave. I have to be up early tomorrow.” 

“Alright,” Yuta conceded, not moving an inch to help Jaehyun gather his discarded clothes. He just watched him as he strolled around the room, quickly picking up his clothes and dressing. Almost as if sensing what was about to go down, he heard scratching.

Damn.

Jaehyun’s eyes immediately lit up when he heard Aphrodite outside the bedroom, meowing and demanding to be let in. He did exactly that, and scooped her up the moment she walked into the room.

"Hello, sunshine. Sorry I ignored you before,” he said in a childish tone, scratching under her chin. Yuta could hear her purring from his bed. What an absolute slut. 

With a final kiss behind her ears, Jaehyun let her down. He looked around the room and found Yuta’s boxer, throwing it at him.

“Come on, lazy ass. Come lock the door, I know you won’t do it if I just leave.”

There was half an attempt at playing asleep but Jaehyun went really quickly to the bathroom and brought a wet towel to wipe Yuta’s stomach and crotch.

“What? Can’t even function right now?” His voice was laced with cockiness and Yuta would be up to prove him otherwise because he loved seeing Jaehyun eating his words but honest to God he could barely feel his body.

“You wouldn’t either if you had your brains fucked out of you,” he said as nonchalantly as possible while he tried to sit up to put his boxers on. He pushed his sweaty hair from his face and stretched his arms, sighing contentedly when he heard them pop.

He saw something swirl in Jaehyun’s eyes and he really hoped he wasn’t getting horny again because Yuta really couldn’t take another round for the life of him. Fortunately, Jaehyun just stood up from where he was sitting on the bed and walked out of the room. Before walking out completely, he turned his head back to Yuta momentarily.

“Don’t say those things so casually while looking like that.”

Yuta’s heart did that annoying shit it always did when Jaehyun looked at him in that way, it never failed to render him a little bit flustered. Now, however, all he wanted was to go back to his bed as soon as possible, so instead of analyzing the way in which his body and soul thrummed contentally, he mustered what little energy he had left and stood up. When he stepped out he could already hear his cat meowing and rubbing herself against Jaehyun’s legs, following after him.

She was meowing so loudly Yuta feared his neighbours would actually wake up.

“Aphrodite, shush!” He tried to quiet her down, walking towards her in an attempt to reach out to her but when Yuta so much as extended his arm towards her, Aphrodite just hissed at him and rounded around Jaehyun. 

“What’s up, little girl. Want to come with me?” Jaehyun laughed and Aphrodite just purred, the fucking traitor.

“I swear, she likes you more than she likes me,” Yuta whined. It was fucking embarrasing though, because Jaehyun was trying to reach the door but his cat just kept meowing and getting between his legs. It was as if she knew Jaehyun was leaving and there was nothing more than she wanted to avoid.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry Jaehyun, I don’t know what’s up with her.” Yuta felt the heat slowly rising to his cheeks so he quickly took advantage of Aphrodite’s almost drowsy state around Jaehyun to scoop her up. She wasn’t happy. At all. She thrashed in Yuta's arms but there was no way in hell he was gonna let his cat embarrass him any further.

Jaehyun was just someone who kept his bed warm and helped him wind down so Yuta really couldn’t allow his cat to grow attached to the other so quickly. 

“It’s fine. I’ll come visit you soon, Didi,” Jaehyun assured her, stepping closer to Yuta so he could pet her. It was rather humiliating that her cat went totally lax the moment Jaehyun was within proximity. “I’ll text you, okay?” He now addressed Yuta, and then Jaehyun was dropping a quick peck on his lips and Yuta went totally still because that was definitely not a thing they did. Not at all. 

Judging by the way Jaehyun stepped back quick as lightning and his ears got progressively red by the second, it seemed such an action also took Jaehyun by surprise. 

“Y-yeah. Well. Uhm. See you soon,” he stammered out. He opened the door and saw himself out. He didn’t even wait for Yuta to say goodbye back or anything before he was closing the door.

The reaction was immediate.

Aphrodite bit his hand and he let go, hissing. She was now scratching at the door and, alright, she was not meowing, she was screaming at this point, as if she was being tortured. Yuta was left stunned because yeah, she was quite clingy with Jaehyun but she had never acted this way before. At this rate, Yuta would get evicted and just because his stupid cat was so in love with Jaehyun she couldn’t bear to see him go. The landlord had already been too lenient when she had let Yuta keep the cat in the apartment, seeing that pets weren’t actually allowed. And maybe she had a point.

“Aphrodite, stop, we’re gonna get kicked out, please.” He tried to appease her but she was not having it and just kept meowing her little lungs out, running all over the apartment and Yuta did not have the energy to deal with her mental breakdown, not right now at least. He jogged to the kitchen and opened his last can of tuna. A peace offering. He put the fish into Aphrodite’s bowl and brought it to her, hoping her little tantrum would disappear the moment she smelled the tuna.

She stopped for a second, eyes trained on her bowl as she walked towards it to sniff at the food. Yuta could feel the sweat rolling down his temple, hands wringing nervously as he looked at his cat examine the tuna. Unfortunately, it seemed she wasn’t hungry because before Yuta had the chance to try to get close to her, Aphrodite was  back to screaming and running all over the apartment in no time and Yuta felt like he could really cry.

“Please, stop, please baby let’s go to sleep.” Yuta all but begged, chasing after her as quietly as he could. It was to no avail and he seriously considered just sitting on the floor of his living-room to cry. He was tired and growing anxious really quickly. The idea of just giving her away even crossed his mind and such a thought only served to make him sadder because, God, he was the worst owner ever. Yuta firmly believed he should be the one doing all the screaming.

He was two seconds away from having his very own mental breakdown, sad and alone, sweaty and wearing only his boxers in the middle of the living-room because of his goddamn cat. This was not the way he pictured things would end, not especially after such a good fuck session. 

The sudden knock on his door stopped Yuta from spiralling ever further down, and he and Aphrodite just stared at the door in silence. 

“Yuta? It’s me. I’m sorry, I forgot my keys on your night table.”

Jaehyun’s voice was all it took for his cat to stop meowing, choosing to scratch at the door instead. After rubbing his face in an effort to will the imminent breakdown that was about to take place away, Yuta opened the door and let Jaehyun in once again.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

Yuta shook his head, silently appreciating the quiet. He knew the moment Jaehyun was gone hell would unleash all over again so he took what he could.

“No, it’s fine. Aphrodite has been very vocal about missing you so I didn’t get the chance to go back to bed,” he all but blurted. The regret was instant. Why was he even saying that? He wasn’t planning on letting Jaehyun know how in love his cat was with the other, and he surely wasn’t planning on letting the other know how little control he had over his own cat.

“Really? I had a hunch, I mean, I could hear her from the hallway.”

Well, Yuta was now absolutely sure that his neighbours could definitely hear Aphrodite’s mental breakdown, then. How sweet.

“Right,” Yuta said, suddenly feeling a bit silly wearing only his boxers and hair a mess, standing there post-fuck in the middle of the living-room with a fully clothed Jaehyun. “Uhmm. You can go fetch your keys.”

“Okay. I’ll be quick. Sorry for imposing again.”

Jaehyun quickly went into the bedroom, Aphrodite following after him all the way while purring.

He was back too soon, Yuta lamented, already dreading the moment his cat started yodelling all over the room when she saw Jaehyun was no longer in the house. His sour mood must have shown on his face because when Jaehyun caught his eyes he sent a small smile, as if apologizing. Well, he totally should, for charming his cat so deeply she felt like she would die if she didn’t see the other.

“She will start meowing once I leave, right?”

“Yeah.” There was no point in lying, no when Jaehyun would likely hear her from the hallway. “Don’t worry about it, she will tire herself out.” I hop e. 

Maybe his uncertainty was more transparent than what he initially thought, given that Jaehyun looked like he was looking for the right words to say. He was kind like that, and he would definitely apologize again and Yuta would just smile as reassuringly as he could while saying ‘it’s no big deal’ and show Jaehyun out. 

He wasn’t too sure of what was going to come out of Jaehyun’s mouth that he completely stilled when Jaehyun said:

“Want me to stay over?”

What.

“I mean, I don’t want you to get kicked out and I can leave early as well.”

Huh?

“And cabs charge way too much at this hour, so, so, uhm,” Jaehyun kept ranting when he saw that Yuta had yet to say anything. “I mean! I don’t want to impose I just thought— Nevermind, I’ll see—”

“Wait,” Yuta interrupted him quickly, his hand rapidly closing around Jaehyun’s wrist to prevent him from turning around and leaving. “No, wait. Sorry, I was surprised. That's all. You would be doing me a favour, Jaehyun, if you stayed the night.” And he really meant it. It wasn’t as if he didn’t fleetingly think about it, asking him to just stay to appease his bitch of a cat. If Jaehyun were any other person, he wouldn’t have trouble just asking. But Yuta hadn’t been acting like himself around the younger man and it worried him a bit because he already had an inkling as to what something like that could mean.

“Please, stay,” Yuta added in a small voice.

Jaehyun exhaled deeply, as if he had been holding his breath all this time. And then he smiled at Yuta.

“Of course.”

It had been a while since Yuta last slept through the night with someone else next to him and at this point, he was not gonna pretend he wasn’t a clingy sleeper. He had been keeping himself in check too much and it was starting to take a toll on his mind. So when Jaehyun lay down next to him Yuta immediately latched onto him, sighing contentedly when he felt the other’s body warmth seeping into him. Jaehyun chuckled but said nothing more, holding Yuta closer. 

Yuta felt Jaehyun’s finger tilting his chin up, and he hummed sleepily, letting his head be guided upwards, eyes half closed. Jaehyun kissed him and Yuta kissed him back, parting his mouth the moment he sensed the other lapping at his bottom lip. It was a slow kiss, unlike the ones they were used to, frantic and desperate and downright filthy; it was sensual and smooth and it didn’t last long, just enough to fill Yuta with all kinds of confusing emotions.

Too soon, Jaehyun was pulling back.

“Goodnight,” he whispered against Yuta’s mouth before dropping one last peck on his lips, just as sugary sweet as the one in the threshold. And then he circled Yuta’s waist with his arms and guided his head back to his chest.

“Goodnight,” Yuta whispered back against Jaehyun’s bare skin.

{-}

It became a thing.

The whole staying the night deal.

For reasons Yuta couldn’t quite comprehend, Aphrodite barely put up a fight when Jaehyun left in the morning. She wasn’t as clingy and didn’t even follow him around, unlike the tantrums she threw at night when she sensed Jaehyun was about to leave and not come back.

Yuta didn’t dwell too much on his cat’s behaviour because it wasn’t like he fully understood why she had taken a liking to Jaehyun in the first place. He couldn’t win against her, clearly, so he just let her be. It was only perfect luck that Jaehyun was so considerate and nice about the whole dilemma; it still felt a bit like a hallucination whenever he watched Jaehyun and Aphrodite interact, what with the way his gremlin of a cat absolutely surrendered under Jaehyun’s hands and it wasn’t like Yuta could blame her because honestly? Same. 

So Jaehyun started spending the night, the whole night, in Yuta’s bed. At first he left early in the morning, yet in the last few weeks he had been leaving after breakfast. Another change in the paradigm that Yuta completely overlooked until it became another thing . Jaehyun was a big eater, and he got especially hungry when they went at it until the break of dawn so Yuta usually went down to the conveniently placed bakery across the street to buy whatever he could get his hands on for Jaehyun to inhale with a cup of coffee. Sometimes, Jaehyun would wake up before Yuta and prepare breakfast for both of them and alright... If such an action felt strangely domestic and had Yuta’s stomach performing some strange pirouettes then that was his problem only. 

Kissing when saying goodbye also became a regular thing after that first night. Yuta wasn’t able to recall whether he did the same with his other hookups or not, couldn’t really recall feeling the way he did now with them. His last relationship had been over two years ago, an ugly scar on Yuta’s heart that took way too much to heal in his humble opinion. After such a mess, the studio and his team had become his highest priority, and it wasn’t like he had been putting himself out like that. 

Of course, there had been the casual hookup, the exhilarating quicky in a stall bathroom at some shady bar with a pretty stranger that bought Yuta a drink, but it stopped at that. Yuta had never allowed a stranger to come back to his place for more than two or three nights, he didn’t let them take root into his bed, into his home. He was careful. Of course, there was the Aphrodite factor to take into account, the most important of them all; even if somebody managed to catch Yuta’s attention longer than one week, it was over the moment the queen of the house decided she had had enough of them. And she was anything if not picky.

That was why it still surprised Yuta how rapidly and effortlessly Aphrodite had let Jaehyun into their place, never once scaring him away, always on her best behaviour as if to lure Jaehyun into coming back again and again. Yuta was not complaining, though. He felt a tad bit hurt, that she opened up so quickly and warmly to the other, and he knew Mark did, too. It was his younger neighbour, after all, who took care of her quite regularly when Yuta wasn’t around.

In conclusion, Yuta had no idea what kind of spell Jaehyun had put his cat under.

It occurred to him that it might be the same spell he had cast upon him.

{-}

He should have known something was wrong the moment Jaehyun first stepped into the apartment. The firefighter was quite a passionate man so when he barely put effort into cornering Yuta against any surface of the room, Yuta knew something was off. He overlooked it in favour of just kissing the other some more, Jaehyun was a fantastic kisser. Yet the moment they both fell into the bed Jaehyun barely tried to take his clothes off. When his back hit the mattress, he just sighed and closed his eyes, his hands that were wrapped around Yuta’s hips going almost lax.

Yuta would have been offended were it not for the dark eyebags and long exhale escaping Jaehyun’s lips.

“Hey, you okay? We don’t have to do anything if you’re too tired.” 

Jaehyun opened his eyes, hold around Yuta slightly tightening.

“No, no. I’m alright.” A sleazy grin. “You look good on top of me.”

“Shut up.” Yuta grabbed Jaehyun’s fingers and squeezed painfully tightly, finally releasing himself from the other’s grip to roll next to him on bed.

“Ouch. That hurt, you could’ve asked nicely, you know.”

“You’ll survive,” Yuta simply answered, getting on his side to look properly at Jaehyun. He did look quite tired and Yuta felt only a little guilty for not realizing sooner.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun suddenly said. “I came here knowing maybe I wouldn’t be at my best to...perform. And I—ouch, Yuta, that hurt.” He lightly rubbed at his forehead where Yuta had flicked him.

“Don’t apologize silly. I’m just concerned about you. Please don’t push yourself too hard, and do tell me if you aren’t feeling well, okay? We can totally reschedule. You know I’ll wait for you.”

“I know. I guess...I just wanted to see you.”

Yuta smiled, flattered. The thought of Jaehyun coming in spite of his state because he wanted to see Yuta even if they didn’t get to do anything was...heart fluttering, to put it in simple words. It seemed lately Yuta couldn’t help but think everything Jaehyun did was somehow heart fluttering.

“I’m glad you came anyways,” Yuta confessed softly, cuddling closer next to Jaehyun and resting his head on the other’s shoulder. “How about we take a nap for a change, huh? We can see a movie or something later. We don’t have to do...anything. You can stay.”

Jaehyun smiled, eyes closed and breathing quickly evening out.

“I was planning to.”

“And what if I had kicked you out, huh?”

“I know you wouldn’t. You like to act all tough but I know you enjoy my company.” He chuckled when he felt Yuta's finger jabbing at his side. “But I think it’s perfect since I enjoy yours quite a lot, too.” And then he rolled over, trapping Yuta between his arms. He buried his nose in Yuta’s hair and breathed in, feeling relaxed. “Now let’s stop chatting and let’s sleep.”

“Rich coming from someone who insisted they were totally fine to have sex a little while ago.”

“Current Jaehyun is a lot wiser than the one from five minues ago.”

Yuta giggled, endeared by Jaehyun’s groggy state. He wasn’t exactly tired but he guessed it wouldn't hurt to rest his eyes for a little, plus, the warmth irradiating from Jaehyun’s body was too comfortable to pull away from just yet and the soft tickling of his breath caressing Yuta’s neck was incredibly relaxing, prompting him to just surrender.

And surrender he did.

All thoughts of just how domestic and right everything felt, of how secure and content he felt just by laying next to Jaehyun faded along his consciousness in a matter of seconds.

{-}

Yuta was dreading this moment and not because he wasn’t glad to see Taeyong, actually it was quite the opposite: neither had had a lot of free time lately. Adult life, it seemed, didn’t forgive anyone. Ever since Taeyong was hired for that fancy clothing company, his free time has plummeted down to almost zero. It was especially bad when the new seasons approached and Taeyong transformed into a hermit that grumbled instead of speaking, portfolios and sketches always overflowing within the depths of his high-fashion bag. Even then, even then , Taeyong made time for Yuta. Their meetings didn’t really last long, unless Taeyong brought his work and the two got to business side by side with music as the only sound in the room.

It was not perfect but the fact that Taeyong preferred to have his friend by his side, although the conditions left much to be desired, warmed Yuta up immensely.

So no, Yuta was more than thrilled to see the platonic love of life, he just knew that the dreadful feeling settling in his gut had everything to do with the fact that he knew Taeyong would give him one look and pick up immediately there was something wrong with Yuta. Moreover, he would know exactly what was up. And honestly, Yuta could totally do without Taeyong’s interrogation, his head was already a mess and who really knew what he was feeling? Certainly not him, alleged owner of said feelings.

Yuta was not looking forward to the absolute shit show that was about to take place in Taeyong’s apartment. Another reason why Yuta felt sweat progressively collecting at his lower back was that there was no escape, he was playing in Taeyong’s territory and yeah, he should have seen that coming. Taeyong was capable of, had already done it before, locking his door and holding Yuta hostage until he vomited everything he'd bottled up. It was too late to back down so with all the admittedly poor courage he managed to gather, he sent the text.

im downstairs

It was not even two minutes and Taeyong was already at the door, opening and grabbing Yuta’s arm to drag him inside, almost as if he feared Yuta would totally turn on his back and sprint down the streets.

“Yuta,” Taeyong greeted him excitedly, rapidly hugging him. Yuta sank into the familiar embrace. He’d missed this, had missed Taeyong so terribly. Texts and calls could never fill in that Taeyong-shaped hole in his heart he felt whenever he was too much time away from him. Taeyong had actually called Yuta and his relationship an “otter relationship”, you know they die of sadness when their partners pass away, right? That’s me and you, stupid, so never do something dumb okay? My life is linked to yours, wanted it or not. It was cute and honestly a little creepy but Yuta could deal with that; had done it ever since he offered that pocari sweat bottle to Taeyong all those years ago.

“Mister busy, nice to see you,” he greeted back, squeezing for a second too long before releasing Taeyong. He got a light punch in return.

“Shut up, it’s not like it’s easy to get a hold of you either. Come on, let’s go, Yuyu.”

The ride in the lift was short and in no time Yuta found himself seated on Taeyong’s fancy red upholster couch. Taeyong himself was sitting right across from him, on his beige armchair. The whole setting weirdly reminded Yuta of a psychologist session, yet he had been in the same position far too many times to find it uncomfortable. There were some pastries on the little glass table, a bottle of water and two cups of freshly brewed coffee; Yuta didn’t have any excuse left to drag out the inevitable talk. Taeyong had set him up for good.

“So,” Taeyong started, his big eyes shining in interest. He had his knees up on the armchair and he lowered them down long enough so he could reach for his cup of coffee to nurse it against his chest, knees coming up again right away. “Jaehyun?”

Ah, straight to the jugular.

Yuta sighed, accepting his faith.

“Jaehyun,” he conceded. “And before you say anything, no, I don’t have feelings for him. Like, those kinds of feelings. I just. I don’t know.”

Taeyong slurped loudly at his coffee and smacked his lips with a little sigh, just for effect. Yuta hated his dramatic ass sometimes.

“You mean to tell me, you haven’t hooked up with anyone other than Jaehyun and that he’s been staying the night and that now you two listen to music cuddling with Aphrodite in your bed while he strokes your back and you feel nothing for him.”

“I told you those things when I was drunk, do not use them against me,” Yuta protested, feeling his neck getting warmer with every one of Taeyong’s words. “He just stays the night because otherwise my stupid cat won’t stop meowing and scratching the door at 3am. It’s...convenient.”

“What’s with the cuddling?”

Yuta reckoned that had only happened a couple of times, it wasn’t a thing , and he said as much to Taeyong, who only snorted in lieu of a response.

“It’s not. It’s not like that,” Yuta repeated. “But it’s weird, you know? I mean, Aphrodite likes him so much and you know she barely tolerates people. I think she likes Jaehyun better than me and I fucking raised that ball of anger. He treats her so well, he even bought a little toy for her. I mean, of course stuff like that is bound to move me, there’s nothing sexier than a man being kind to pets, you know? And not just any pet, but my cat, who can be a little bitch sometimes.”

“I can attest to that,” Taeyong said, suddenly caressing his elbow where Aphrodite had bit him last year as if it were some sort of phantom scar. Then, more seriously, he asked, “Do you think he likes you?”

“I mean, he comes home quite regularly to fuck so I’m counting on that at this point.” He reached across to grab the cup of coffee on the table, all the while maintaining eye contact with his friend.

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows. “Do you think he might have feelings for you?”

Did he? Did Yuta think that there was a slight chance Jaehyun might have actual feelings for him? His traitorous heart picked up at the thought and Yuta refrained from groaning. If he had to be honest, and Yuta guessed it was high time he started, it was not like he hadn’t entertained the idea of Jaehyun liking him past their mere fuckbuddy relationship. Such a possibility had sent a pleasant chill through the back of his skull to his toes, and that was why Yuta locked the idea away immediately, hoping it would eventually rot and die and never surface again. 

“Oh, Yuta,” Taeyong said, in that awfully resigned tone Yuta loathed. 

“It’s not that, it’s just. He’s never hinted at that, you know. But he keeps coming back and I’ve never had such a long-time partner in bed like that. It’s been months and I haven’t grown tired of him and I want to believe he hasn’t, either. I think it’s natural to give some thought to it, right? It doesn’t exactly mean I want something more from him.”

“Of course it’s natural. It’s easy to wonder in what other ways you might be compatible with the person who seems to just get you in bed. That’s not a crime and it doesn’t entail anything else. Thing is, I know you, Yuta.”

The worst part was that Taeyong was right. For all Yuta liked to cry and kick over not understanding his own feelings, he actually had a sharp awareness of his own self, of his own emotions. He was Yuta, the Yuta that got attached too easily and had a hard time letting go, the Yuta that either went big or went home, the Yuta whose heart pumped frantically when he really liked someone and wasn’t afraid to show his affection.

But right now, it was like he couldn’t find that Yuta within himself and he wondered why, indeed, he second guessed all of his interactions with Jaehyun. Naming things gave them purpose, brought them into the realm of tangibility, made them exist, and Yuta wasn’t sure he was ready to name that ball inside of him that rolled and vibrated every time he thought of Jaehyun just yet. It’d been quite a while since such feelings had got a hold of him, and he didn't remember the feeling being so overwhelming.

“I’m scared,” he finally admitted out loud. It took Taeyong by surprise and it also took Yuta by surprise. 

“Don’t be.” There was sympathy and a life-time understanding in his voice.

Instead of going there, instead of taking the bait, Yuta groaned.

“This is all Aphrodite’s fault.”

Yuta might not be sure about a lot of things, but he was damn sure of what he just said. He couldn’t believe he was developing feelings for his fuck buddy because his stupid cat liked him.

{-}

“So,” Jaehyun started between kisses. ”There’s this party the fire department is organizing. Nothing fancy, it’s gonna be real casual.”

Yuta squirmed, body reacting at the way Jaehyun was peppering the skin around his navel with soft kisses and licks. He sounded way too put together for someone who was currently sporting a hard-on.

“It’s gonna be in that bar, The Ninth Muse, you know it?”

Jaehyun must have been out of his mind if he thought that Yuta was in the right mental state to carry such a nonchalant conversation, not with the way Jaehyun’s teeth were pulling his piercing at least, tongue following shortly after to soothe the mild sting.

When he didn’t answer, Jaehyun stopped and looked at Yuta.

“So, you know it?” He tried again, his finger ghosting over Yuta’s smooth abdomen.

“Y—yeah.” Yuta managed to say, muscles clenching  where Jaehyun was dropping kisses all over.

“Good,” Jaehyun continued, hands finally, finally, taking hold of Yuta’s underwear and slowly pulling it down. Yuta sighed when he felt his erection spring free, head resting against his stomach.”So, I was thinking maybe you’d like to come with me. You know, to relax for a while, dance a little more freely, without the showcase pressure on.”

Why was Jaehyun still talking? Why hadn’t Jaehyun touched him yet? He knew Yuta didn’t like to be teased at all , so he really didn’t understand why he was taking his sweet time putting his pretty mouth to use.

“What do you say, mmh?” And he just kept going. Yuta hadn’t half an idea of what Jaehyun was trying to do, his mind currently too preoccupied with other kinds of thoughts, with more pressing matters like his unattended hard-on.

Jaehyun kissed his skin, but nowhere near where Yuta really wanted him to put his lips on. He wiggled his hips a little, trying to make Jaehyun understand what he really needed. The other man just laughed softly but didn’t do anything about Yuta’s predicament, he keept mouthing at his hips, at the inner part of his thighs, completely disregarding Yuta’s cock, which rude , since it was right fucking there, red and hard and fucking obvious.

“Come on, Jaehyun,” Yuta panted, moving his hips again. Jaehyun immediately stilled him.

“So will you? Come with me to the party?” He was now licking a wide strip of skin, from his hip bone to the base of his dick, mouth still stubbornly away from Yuta’s dick. With one hand he was pinning Yuta’s hips to the mattress and with the other he was thumbing Yuta’s hole, slightly pressing the pad of his finger to the puckered skin, not moving an inch.

Yuta really felt like he was about to lose his goddamn mind.

“Yeah, Jaehyun, I’ll go with you, whatever, just do something for fuck’s sake.”

Jaehyun’s eyes shone with satisfaction.

“No take backsies, alright?” And then he f inally put his mouth on Yuta’s dick, softly suckling at the tip. He gave it a couple licks and then spoke again. “This Friday. I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, I’ll go, I’ll go,” Yuta replied a bit out of his mind, eyes closing when he felt Jaehyun giving a powerful suck.

Ah, yeah, that was more like it.

{-}

“I think it’s nice you two are going out. Jaehyun seems like a nice guy,” Mark said from his place on Yuta’s sofa. He was currently petting Aphrodite very slowly and carefully, trying to make the best of such precious time before she decided it was enough. “I mean, he must be. Aphrodite really likes him,” he sighed, a bit dejected.

Yuta didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was ambushed, taken advantage of in his most vulnerable state. 

“It’s something casual, just a party so don’t get any funny ideas.” Yuta repeated to Mark what he had been telling himself for the past two hours while he looked through his entire wardrobe, pulling shirts and trousers alike onto his bed, not really satisfied with anything he managed to find.

“Even if it’s casual, it’s an upgrade, right? You don’t go out a lot together, like, on dates and stuff so I think it’s nice you’re finally going to one.”

“On dates?” Yuta’s eyes widened, momentarily looking away from his reflection on the mirror to look at Mark. “Why would you think something like that?”

Mark frowned, confusion clear in his eyes

“Don’t you like...like each other? Beyond having sex and stuff.”

Yuta was bewildered.

“That’s—that’s how you perceive us?”

“Uh? What do you mean ‘perceive us’? Jaehyun brings snacks and toys for Aphrodite and cooks breakfast for you, and you buy him cakes from the bakery downstairs. I mean, not to mention the stupid smile Jaehyun has whenever he leaves. Is there any other way to ‘perceive’ your relationship?”

Mark looked so unimpressed Yuta feared he was about to lose all the respect he had for the older man. That was way too much to ingest seeing that Jaehyun was going to pick him up in 20 minutes.

“That’s not—wait, hold on, how do you even know those things? If you’re waiting like a creep next to your door to catch Jaehyun—”

Mark didn’t even need to interrupt him, the way he was rolling his eyes so hard had Yuta shutting up immediately, embarrassment burning from the pitch of his stomach. Yuta had no idea why he felt like that, but something in Mark’s eyes and face told him his neighbour thought Yuta was actually very stupid. Not a great feeling if you asked him.

“I was going to keep it a secret because Jaehyun asked me to but I can see you two are still tiptoeing around each other so yeah, not gonna happen. As you know, Jaehyun is aware we are friends and I occasionally take care of Aphrodite so one day I’m minding my own business and there’s a knock on my door and it’s him. So I open up and then he’s like ‘I’m so sorry, I know this is weird, I know you are Yuta’s friend so I wanted to ask you if it’s too much if I bring his cat a toy?’” Mark laughed, as if remembering the whole ordeal. Yuta was not laughing. At all. If anything, he actually felt like passing out. “He was really stressed out, trying to see if he was overstepping or something. I told him it was chill, and then from time to time he came over looking for more reassurance that he wasn’t like, overdoing it and all that.”

“I- what?” 

“Yuta?” Mark stopped laughing the moment he took in Yuta’s alarmed expression. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered, though even he could tell how breathless he sounded. The idea of Jaehyun feeling insecure about the boundaries in their relationship had Yuta almost choking on air because well, he knew what that entailed. Especially because little by little, Jaehyun had made sure to erase such boundaries, slowly but surely scrapping them away so there was no platonical space between them. 

“You sure?” Mark asked again, internally debating whether pushing Aphrodite off of him was worth checking on his friend.

“Mark,” Yuta said, turning his head towards his neighbour. A sudden revelation. “Jaehyun likes me. Like, likes me likes me. You know.”

“Oh.” Mark never stopped petting Aphrodite’s head. “I thought you knew? I mean—wait. You two...don’t tell me...you’re not dating for real?”

Yuta flushed, and Mark’s stare was just so unimpressed Yuta was afraid to answer. 

“No…?”

“I thought you were trying to be somewhat lowkey about it. Fuck. You two are unbelievable.” 

And maybe Mark had a point. A great point. Ah, fuck it, Yuta was kind of tired of lying to himself: he wanted Jaehyn in all senses. It had been so long since he felt this way for someone he really wasn’t sure how to navigate through the sea of emotions Jaehyun usually evoked within him. That was the point, he came to realize. He didn’t need to know how, he just had to let himself be carried. And that he would.

Well, if Jaehyun and Yuta already looked like they were dating dating then why not actually go for it? The thought of going for a walk with Jaehyun while holding his hand and stealing a kiss at any given opportunity filled Yuta’s heart with determination. Fuck it. Yuta was going to wake up the next day being a very committed man with the most gorgeous boyfriend in the entire universe. Yuta would have a fireman for a boyfriend who could cook and had the kindest and sweetest eyes. 

I’m gonna sweep you off of your feet, Jeong Jaehyun, you just wait.

“Don’t worry, Mark. I’ll fix this mess right away.”

{-}

Jaehyun had mentioned that the party was a casual thing, yet now Yuta felt like the fireman had no fucking idea what that word meant seeing as everyone was dreesed up to the nines. He sent a quick and mental thanks to Mark, who had kind of wrestled Yuta out of his black jeans and white tee because, casual —right? And had insisted on Yuta putting a bit more effort into his attire “wear a goddamn shirt at least!”, so really, the fact that he didn’t feel completely out of place was thanks to his neighbour. 

There was also the fact that Jaehyun looked so incredibly attractive Yuta had been tempted to just forgo the goddamn date and bring the other back to his place to suck him dry. There was something entirely irrational and magnetic about a man wearing fitted slacks, a white shirt with two buttons undone and hair sleek back. Yuta was a simple man and Jaehyun was a very fine man so he wasn’t sure he could be blamed.

‘You look stunning,’ Jaehyun had said, sneaking his arm around Yuta’s waist to bring him for a kiss when the other first saw him. Yuta was sure if he had just pushed a little harder, they wouldn’t be at the damn party. But alas, Jaehyun had insisted on going to the event and Yuta knew that in relationships sometimes you had to give in and well, he thought it a perfect opportunity to start practicing.

Even if he had kind of sulked the whole way to the bar he was now glad he had actually agreed to come. Yuta swooned a little every time Jaehyun introduced him to his coworkers, his hand a searing weight at his lower back. Fortunately, nobody asked uncomfortable questions about them, mostly they just smiled and introduced themselves. It was comforting, maybe Jaehyun talked about Yuta with his coworkers or something? The thought made Yuta’s neck heat up.

“You didn’t mention this party was somewhat fancy,” Yuta said once the introduction round was over. They were sitting around one of the farthest tables from the center of the party.

“I know you don’t like these things too much, I couldn’t risk it.” Jaehyun’s little laugh had Yuta chuckling as well.

“Not much I could say ‘no’ to when you have your mouth around my dick, though.”

“I’m not even sorry.” Jaehyun tried to appear nonchalant but his ears were getting progressively redder by the second and he wasn’t really making eye contact with Yuta. It was cute. Jaehyun was so cute Yuta had to bite his tongue in order to stop himself from just blurting out ‘let’s date, be my boyfriend?’ right there. He was going to wait, though, even if he was sure Jaehyun would agree he wanted to make the whole thing a little bit more intimate, a bit more comfortable. Yuta couldn’t wait to go back to his place and this time, for more than one reason.

“That said, thanks for coming.” Jaehyun smiled and Yuta mirrored the action, smile growing wider when he felt the other reaching for his hand. He accepted Jaehyun’s gentle touch and immediately intertwined their fingers.

“Don’t be silly, Jaehyun. There are really few things I would say ‘no’ to for you.”

The answer seemed to take Jaehyun aback for a second but then he quickly recovered, leaning in close enough that Yuta could faintly smell his cologne.

“I’m...glad you think that way.”

“So next time you have to ask me something, just do it. No need to ambush me. Though I can’t say I mind.”

Jaehyun’s laugh was just so damn contagious Yuta really felt like making him laugh all the time. He knew he was getting corny with all these thoughts but he couldn’t help it, now that Yuta had pulled his head out of his ass it was like he was experiencing the world through some rose-coloured lenses. He wanted to be that corny boyfriend that made Jaehyun flush in embarrassment because he couldn’t stop his mouth from spilling compliments, wanted to kiss his hand and his dimple and his forehead and every little expanse of Jaehyun’s skin. Tone it down, Romeo.

“Want to dance a little?” Jaehyun suddenly said, standing up. He was still holding Yuta’s hand.

“Oh, mister Jaehyun is getting brave, asking a professional dancer if he wants to ‘dance a little’.”

“Maybe I’m just trying to show off that my date is kinda better than everyone’s dates.”

“In that case,” Yuta said, while standing up, heart going into overdrive at Jaehyun mentioning the word ’date’ so casually. “I can’t let you down. Come on, I hope you can keep up with me.”

“I’ll have you know, I’m the best dancer in my squad.”

“Lucky me, then.” Yuta hoped the sincerity in his words bled through his tone. He truly felt lucky, especially when Jaehyun just chuckled and brought him to his side, hands still tightly holding each other.

“Lucky you.”

{-}

Even if the night had turned out to be more entertaining than what Yuta had initially planned, he was getting kind of impatient. He just wanted to go home with Jaehyun as soon as possible. Fortunately, it seemed he wasn’t the only one in a rush to leave the place. After a  couple of songs, Jaehyun had leaned in and asked Yuta if he wanted to leave and Yuta nodded as fast as lightning, eliciting a laugh from the fireman.

“If you wanted to leave earlier, you should have said so.”

“You were having a good time, I didn’t want to spoil it.”

“I’m sure we can have a better time somewhere else.”

And there it was, for all Jaehyun flared up whenever Yuta teased him a little, he was just as good at setting Yuta’s skin on fire with his voice and words. Jaehyun needed to go to the bathroom first, so Yuta was waiting for him at one of the tables close to the entrance hall.

When he checked his phone, he saw that he had a message from Mark.

In the screen it read how’s it going next to that eye emoji Mark liked to overuse.

great so far, you would be proud of me

He didn’t have time to lock his phone again when Mark was already answering.

im always proud of u tho, still good u took your head out of your ass

always so nice and sweet to me, my dear markie <3

i make do with what i have haha anyways, you’re coming back to your place? tell jh not to speak so aprodhite doesnt start whining and tries to leave me u promised she could stay with me tonight </3

Yuta smiled, endeared. Mark was really the sweetest.

dw i’ll try to shut him up, i’ll pick my baby tomorrow morning

And then, as an afterthought,

thank u markie, i love u

lol what’s with the sudden love confession love u too hyung, have fun <3

He sent another heart back and put his phone back into his pocket, just in time to see Jaehyun coming down the hallway. Yuta started smiling, already standing up when he noticed the other didn’t head towards him. Instead, he went to the left and disappeared short after.

Yuta stood up, confused, and immediately went after Jaehyun. Maybe Jaehyun hadn’t seen him? Which, odd , since Yuta had told him he would wait for him at the table. When he was just about to round the corner he stopped. He could clearly hear Jaehyun and...someone else talking. The guy who had first introduced himself when Jaehyun and Yuta had arrived. Johnny. He wasn’t sure why instead of just making his presence known he stayed behind the column, breath held and and a bit paralyzed.

He really didn’t mean to overhear but there’s something...off about the whole thing Yuta just stayed rooted to the spot. 

“Stop pestering me, Johnny. You’ve been a pain in the ass the whole night, for real. I’m just glad Yuta didn’t manage to notice how oddly around him you’ve been all the fucking time. I didn’t even need to look at my phone to know it was you texting me.”

“Jaehyun, you’re being really fucking stubborn. I’m just trying to get you out of your fucking ass, it’s painful to watch. Yuta looks at you like you hung the fucking moon, trust me. I know he—”

“I’m not planning on dating Yuta, Johnny, would you fucking stop. I told you this already. So stop trying to push your weird agenda on our relationship.”

Oh.

Oh, damn.

Wow, what a fucking bummer, really. Yuta could feel his stomach drop towards the fucking center of the Earth with his heart in tow.

God, Yuta didn’t know what was more embarrasing the fact the he felt like a fucking idiot misreading all those signs or that he wanted to cry and throw up at the same time.

“That’s good to know, then.” Yuta decided he would at least put a clear end to this because it was obvious Jaehyun wasn’t looking for more when Yuta had gone and get ahead of himself. Ah fuck, he could totally hear how shaky his voice sounded. “I wish you would have told me sooner, though, you know.”

Jaehyun and Johnny both turned around upon Yuta’s voice.

“Yuta.” Jaehyun looked particularly funny, with his eyes open so wide. “That’s not- what I meant, that what—”

“No, I know exactly what you meant. God, Jaehyun, I was totally planning on asking you out today, you know? Fuck, you know what? Fuck you, you just don’t lead people on like that, you fucking asshole.” Yuta wished he could have said all of that without his voice breaking and without crying.

“No, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” When Jaehyun took a step towards Yuta, he took a step back.

“No, I don’t have to listen to any of your bullshit. What are you even sorry for? For not liking me enough? For making me think we could have been more? For getting me to fall for you? You fucking prick. Don’t contact me again.”

“Yuta, please, wait!”

The desperation laced in Jaehyun’s voice almost made Yuta waver but the sting in his eyes was far greater. He turned around and just fled the place, fingers quickly fishing out his phone.

pick me up? [attached location]

It was nice that Taeyong didn’t even question the message and just wrote back got u, omw bb.

Yuta knew Jaehyun would go after him so he hid in the park in front of the bar, cowardly sitting on the floor behind a tree to avoid any further confrontation. He had silenced his phone already, rejecting Jaehyun’s call one after the other. Some part of his brain tried to convince him that if Jaehyun was so desperately trying to reach him perhaps he should let the other...what? Explain that no matter that they had an amazing chemistry that’s all there was to them? That Jaehyun was just trying to spice up their relationship with a tiny, innocent party? That Yuta had been so fucking wrong when reading too much into their every interaction? Well, fuck, he had already figure all that out by now. And right now, the one thing preventing him from picking up any of Jaehyun’s calls was the absolute shame he felt for everything.

He didn’t want Jaehyun boldly telling him they wouldn’t be good together or whatever. Yuta had been so absolutely sure Jaehyun felt the same, it didn’t make any sense. What Mark had told him didn’t make any sense. So really, the only right answer was that Jaehyun had ultimately led him on. 

Yuta exhaled, feeling a fresh new wave of tears filling his eyes.

What a real fucking bummer.

{-}

He didn’t recognize the number on his phone but Yuta was sure it was Jaehyun calling him from some other phone. He let the phone ring, not even bothering to dismiss the call. Perhaps it was a bit mean but he liked to think about Jaehyun getting all hopeful about Yuta not cutting the call only to have his hopes crushed when Yuta ultimately didn’t pick up. Whatever, Jaehyun had been a lot meaner pretending he felt the same way as Yuta did, leading him on with all  the handholding and soft pecks and fond smiles and ugh . Fuck him.

Aphrodite meowed, probably annoyed at Yuta’s phone still ringing. She was nestled next to Yuta, head tucked under his armpit and body pressed against his ribcage. It was strage of her to be so clingy but maybe she could sense Yuta was going through it. Which was rather cute and kind of made Yuta want to sob his eyes out.

“Shut up, this is all your fault,” he said, fingers caressing her silky fur. “Why did you let him in, mmh? I trusted you, you know. You were supposed to have the better taste between us. Look where that led me to.”

She started to purr, the tiny vibrations from her body somehow willing Yuta’s annoyance away.

“Who am I kidding, I’m just an idiot. He got us both, didn’t he? I can’t blame you.”

His phone finally stopped ringing and Yuta sighed. Finally.

Though he didn’t know if the eerie silence that had taken over his room was any better since it invited very unwelcome thoughts into his mind. Taeyong’s incessant fussing and Mark’s guilty demeanor weren’t really better ideas either, so Yuta was stuck in his bed, breathing into Aphrodite’s fur in a weak attempt to stop the intrusive thought from taking over.

It wasn’t exactly working but Yuta had already made peace with the idea that it was going to hurt for a while and that was okay. He would let himself feel hurt and betrayed because he guessed it was part of trying to assimilate the whole thing.

He still liked Jaehyun, with his booming laughter and clumsiness, so uncharacteristic of him considering his profession. His delicious breakfast and the way his fingers made him feel, the way his voice made him feel, the way he looked at Yuta. All too good to be true.

Hating Jaehyun wasn’t even an option, he couldn’t really bring himself to do so. Tried, he had, but to no avail. Yuta held on to the dear words that seemed to get him through this all: time heals everything .

Ah, but memory could always be such a bitch.

{-}

“Mark’s here.” Ten informed Yuta after they finished the class. Yuta was drying his sweat with a towel, sitting down against the mirror. He felt gross and sweaty, as he always did after a good session. He knew the new choreo wasn’t easy at all, especially since Ten decided to pitch in with his own ideas but his kids were getting the hang of it quicker than Yuta had expected so he decided he could push them a bit further just for today.

Of course it was for them and not for his need to shut his brain down.

“That’s odd,” Yuta commented, putting the towel back in his duffel bag and taking out a bottle of water. “He hardly stops by.”

Ten, currently drinking from his bottle of water, just shrugged.

“I don’t know, just go see what he wants. I need to leave early, can you close up, please?”

Yuta nodded and after chugging almost half of the water, stood up.

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll see what Mark wants and then I’ll close up, no worries.”

Ten looked like he wanted to add something but ultimately decided against it, settling for a bright smile. The minimal change in his expression had Yuta lifting an eyebrow, questioning. 

“Alright, thanks. See you tomorrow!” And before Yuta could actually ask what was wrong, the other was putting his bottle back into his backpack and leaving the room. 

Whatever. Yuta was actually too tired to try and decipher Ten’s strange behaviour. He picked his things up and turned the lights and speakers off. He knew Mark would probably be waiting for him in the little entry desk they had, just before the hallway that led to the three practice rooms.

He smiled when he actually saw Mark sitting in one of the two chairs they had set up against the wall. His neighbour stood up the moment he caught Yuta coming out of the hallway.

“Hey,“ he said when Yuta was within proximity. “How’s it going?”

Immediately, Yuta knew something was wrong. Mark was of nervous nature, that he already knew, so it wasn’t strange to see him bouncing his leg up and down or shifting his weight constantly when he’s standing up.

Now, though, he was very still.

“Hyung,” Mark started before Yuta could even say something. ”Hyung, first of all you know I love you, right? I only want what’s best for you.”

Yuta frowned. Alright, Mark was now freaking him out.

“What’s wrong? What do you mean?”

“I tried to refuse! Really, but he’s very persuasive, and I swear he just wouldn’t give in so I thought— what I mean—I’m sorry hyung, please don’t hate me.”

“Mark, I could never hate you but you’re not making any sen-”

“Yuta.”

And just like an apparition, Jaehyun emerged from the second hallway next to the entry desk. He walked slowly towards Yuta, as if he were dealing with an animal that would run away the moment he showed the slightest sign of aggressiveness.

His head snapped to Mark.

“You brought him here?” He all but hissed, feeling absolutely betrayed. “Mark, I fucking trusted you.”

“I know, I’m sorry, hyung.” And Yuta had to give it to him, he did sound quite apologetic but it wasn’t enough to soothe the sudden irritation that flared up instantly at realizing Mark, of all people, sold him out.

“It’s not his fault, Yuta. Really, I stalked him until he brought me here so please don’t get mad at him,” Jaehyun interjected, sensing Mark’s genuine distress.

“Of course you would do something like that,” Yuta said with a scoff, petty. It was not like him at all but Yuta hated feeling cornered so the current situation was far from ideal. His flight-or-fight instincts kicked in when Jaehyun stepped even closer. 

“I just want to talk to you, I get it that you don’t want to see my face, Yuta, but I can’t leave things the way they are now.”

“Did you think that perhaps, I do? I don’t wanna talk to you but I guess not answering and blocking your number weren’t enough of a hint for you to fuck off.”

“Hyung.” Mark uttered under his breath, shocked. He’d never seen Yuta like this before, he wasn’t exactly soft spoken but he wasn't aggressive either, and right now he looked ready to try and tackle Jaehyun to get the hell out of there. He was starting to regret bringing Jaehyun to the studio, regardless of Jaehyun’s noble intentions. Yuta had never looked so distressed and it was killing him. “Jaehyun, maybe it’s better if you—”

“It’s okay, Mark,” Jaehyun cut him gently. He knew the moment Mark took in Yuta’s negative response, all his kind cooperation would wilt and die, and he couldn’t risk it. Not when he finally had the chance to set things right. “Thanks for bringing me here, really. I owe you, you can leave now I know you have things to do.”

“Hyung?” Mark asked Yuta, he wouldn’t leave if Yuta didn't want him to. Hell, he’d drag Jaehyun himself out of there if that was what Yuta wanted.

Yuta acknowledged the glint in Mark’s eyes and his eyes softened for a moment. He didn’t want to distress Mark any longer when he looked ready to tackle Jaehyun himself. And well, it was not like Jaehyun was entirely wrong for wanting to talk things out; he couldn’t ignore that their relationship was beyond just mere fuck buddies no matter how stubborn he was about it in the past. 

Affective responsibility and all that shit. Though perhaps Jaehyun should have been the one to think about that before just practically yelling to the entire world how much he did not want to date Yuta.

He relaxed his posture, shoulders dropping and knuckles no longer strangling the band of his duffel bag.

“It’s fine, Mark. I’ll talk to Jaehyun, you can leave. I’m not mad, I promise.”

“Hyung, I-”

“Really, it’s okay.” He smiled, trying to reassure Mark. Perhaps it was not entirely convincing but Mark took it anyway. His neighbour nodded slowly and sent one hard stare Jaehyun’s way before leaving the premises. 

“He’s really nice,” Jaehyun commented, watching Mark’s retreating figure.

“He is. I’m not happy about you dragging him into this,” Yuta said, turning around to walk back into one fo the practice rooms. He wasn’t about to have the conversation with Jaehyun in the middle of the hallway, no matter that it was highly improbable someone would walk into the studio at that time. Jaehyun took the hint and followed suit.

“I know but I’m not sorry. I figured he was the only way I could talk to you.”

Once inside the room, Yuta closed the door and grabbed at his bag for dear life.

They didn’t say anything: Yuta was looking at the floor but he could still feel Jaehyun’s eyes on him, studying him. He was too scared to lift his eyes, scared that once he locked eyes with him all those feelings he’d been trying to squash down would resurface like a dam breaking. He was afraid to cry in front of Jaehyun, God, wouldn’t that be the last straw?

“What you heard at the party, it’s not what you think.”

The comment alone had Yuta snorting.

“Jaehyun, if you think—”

“Please, look at me.”

Ah, it wasn’t fair at all, the way Jaehyun made his voice sound like that. Begrudgingly, Yuta looked up and found Jaehyun was already staring back at him. His heart stuttered and damn, this was exactly what Yuta had been trying to avoid for the last few days.

“Okay, I did say I didn’t want to date you. But I didn’t mean it.” Yuta snorted, again and Jaehyun knew it sounded like those badly written movies in which the protagonist walked in on their love interest being kissed by someone else and then walked away before getting proper explanations. Although his situation wasn’t exactly like that, he could recognize there was a bit of a bad movie plot going on right now. “I know it sounds like I’m making up excuses. I promise I’m not, I’ll just explain the situation and then,” he swallowed, mouth and throat suddenly dry. “And then you can decide what to do and I promise I’ll respect your decision, I won’t contact you again if that’s what you want.”

Yuta watched Jaehyun attentively, taking in his earnest eyes and the silent plea in his voice. Yuta didn’t owe shit to the other, that was what he wanted to believe yet he knew better than that. People loved to talk lightly regarding lots of things, regarding apologies and forgiveness without actually understanding how intrinsically human they all were, prone to live amongst other peers; if people could actually just go around and ignore everyone feeling like they didn’t owe anything to anyone perhaps a life in isolation in the mountains would be better. Now, that didn't sound like a bad idea at all. 

“Alright,” he relented at last. Yuta wanted proper closure as well, and if it came in the form of Jaehyun cornering him in his studio with Mark’s help then so be it.

He nodded and Jaehyun could definitely tell he was about to lose this whole discussion, no matter what he said. It was on him, really, for not being honest and straightforward from the beginning, even if all the signs were there. He had nothing to lose at this point so he was gonna try anyway, he was going to keep talking and just lay everything bare for Yuta to see and scrutinize.

“I like you,” he finally blurted out. “A lot. A whole lot. The ‘I want to be your boyfriend and call Aphrodite our daughter’ kind of like.”

The little surprised ‘eh?’ that came out of Yuta’s mouth had his heart evolting violently inside his chest. Yuta had always been so incredibly endearing in Jaehyun’s eyes and even right now, regardless of the shitty context, he looked really fucking cute with his big eyes and slightly parted mouth. Yuta looked like everything Jaehyun had ever wanted, and mindful that this was his shot to get him, he didn’t wait for the other to recover from the initial shock and kept pressing on.

“But that’s something I admitted very recently though I’ve alway felt differently about you, I’ve never grown this attached to anyone before. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. You...make my pulse race just with the sound of your voice, Yuta. And when you touch me,” Jaehyun took a step closer to Yuta, slowly. When the other didn’t recoil, Jaehyun kept walking closer. “When you touch me, it's just. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s the best thing ever. And you confused me so much, Yuta, you made me second-guess every interaction I had with you. Made me feel nervous like I’ve never been and it was scary.”

Yuta sees Jaehyun briefly eyeing his hand, as if he wanted to hold it but Yuta’s not sure how he’ll react to that so he just balls his hand into a fist and takes it to his chest, protective. Jaehyun is saying everything Yuta’s ever wanted to hear yet it’s not enough. He still—

“And it was so scary,” Jaehyun continues, halting Yuta’s thoughts.”I didn’t know what to do with myself and like I just kept telling myself you were nothing but a passing infatuation, no matter how badly it sat with me whenever I tried to make myself believe that. And you were acting so...so lovingly, it made me have stupid thoughts about us together and made me want to do very impulsive things. I was going through this internal turmoil and I just wanted to go home with you but Johnny had been pestering me all night about me officially asking you out and I guessed it was too overbearing and I- It’s all my fault. I just felt cornered and reacted badly and said things I really didn’t mean. At all. Because, Yuta, there’s nothing more I want to do now than being your boyfriend and holding your hand and taking you out on dates and just napping with you and Aprhodite.”

Jaehyun exhaled, feeling his shoulders dropping with the action. This was it, he had nothing else to lose. If Yuta decided Jaehyun wasn’t worth the shot at least he could say he had tried his best. It would hurt like fucking hell and Jaehyun knew it’d be one of those things he would cry about even months from here when his brain felt like reminding him of all the things he could have had but ultimately didn’t.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I made you think I was leading you on because that couldn't be further from the truth. And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize all of this. If you still want me...I’m here.”

Yuta was looking at him, fist still cradled against his chest and his other hand grabbing the band of his bag. He wasn’t saying anything, he was just looking at him. Jaehyun knew it wouldn’t be any good but he wasn’t above beggin at this point and he was seriously considering just going for it when Yuta spoke.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun. But I’m kind of emotionally exhausted at this point.”

Right. That had always been a possibility. Jaehyun thought he was prepared for that sort of outcome but it quickly became clear he was absolutely not prepared for it. The way his eyes quickly filled with tears surprised him and hahaha it was fucking emabarrasing. Wouldn’t it be unfair of him to cry in front of Yuta when it was Jaehyun who had gotten them in this mess?

“R—right, I—”

“Oh my God, Jaehyun, are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, that's kind of pathetic of me, right? After all, it's my fault.” Jaehyun tried to laugh it off but the sound was distorted and sounded more as if he was choking. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand yet it felt a bit pointless since a fresh wave rapidly filled his eyes again. This was the absolute worst. He took a shaky breath in order to try and calm himself a bit and looked everywhere but the person in front of him. “I’ll just leave, I’m sorry for-” 

Suddenly, he had a handful of Yuta hugging him tightly.

“I didn’t think you were going to cry, Jaehyun, oh my God. I was just joking, sorry, I wanted to make you feel a bit bad because I'm petty. That was really mean of me. I wasn't being honest, I still like you a lot. I'm sorry, I really didn't think you'd react like this!"

Yuta hugged Jaehyun tighter, already feeling awful for getting the other man to fucking cry for his stupid stunt.

"I don’t blame you, I was also a bit stupid about us first. Please, don’t cry, you’re making me feel really bad.”

Jaehyun didn’t react at first, he just looked down to see Yuta burying his face in his chest, his arms still tightly wrapped around Jaehyun’s torso. Slowly, he brought his arms around Yuta’s shoulder, or at least he tried because Yuta’s bag was sort of in the way. He felt Yuta sagged against him when Jaehyun hugged him back. The moment was sort of unreal still to process it.

“I can’t believe you actually cried. You must really like me a lot, huh?”

When Yuta looked up, Jahyun finally laughed through some of the tears that kept falling.

“You stupid, I really thought I had fucked up for real.”

“Well, you kind of deserved it. The only man that has ever made me cry so much was Lelouch, until you that is, so I’m sorry but I’m actually not that sorry.”

Yuta broke free from the hug to wipe Jaehyun’s tears with his thumbs, promptly smiling when Jaehyun grabbed his hand and cradled it against his cheek.

“Is this..alright? I mean, I’m sure you must have hated me a lot. Is this so easy?”

Yuta hummed, giggling lightly when Jaehyun deposited a swift kiss on his fingers.

“I never hated you. I was really fucking hurt, sure. But I didn’t hate you. Also, all the things you said...I was there myself. I understand. When you said…” Yuta blushed and cleared his throat. “When you said the way I made you feel was scary. I could relate. Only I’m emotionally smarter so I got out of my head quite quickly. Well, more quickly than others I know at least.”

Jaehyun chuckled.

“Is that so? Maybe you can teach me.”

“With one condition.”

“Anything you want.”

“Be my boyfriend?”

A quick peck.

“Fine by me.”

{-}

“I can’t believe Yuta told you he was emotionally smarter, that liar.”

Mark and Jaehyun were at Yuta’s apartment, currently enjoying the pastries Jaehyun had bought as a sorry gift for Mark. The younger boy had insisted there was nothing to be sorry for but he wasn’t about to turn down free food. Yuta had gone to the studio a couple of minutes ago since Ten had forgotten his keys and Mark had jumped at the chance of having Jaehyun recount their whole make-up through another point of view without Yuta interfering.

“He isn’t, for the record. I had to pull his head from underwater, so really. Don’t give him too much credit.”

Jaehyun laughed, his whole body shaking and Aphrodite, who had been napping on his lap, meowed, annoyed.

“Oops. Sorry, Didi.” He quickly caressed her fur in order to appease her, his thumb shortly massaging her tiny forehead. “Well, then Mark, these apology pastries should be thank you pastries, it seems.”

Mark flushed and rubbed the back of his head.

“N-no. It’s okay. I mean, you guys did all the rest. I just- yeah. Anyways, I can’t believe Aprodhite likes you so much, to be honest. It’s almost a little offensive.”

“Well,” Jaehyun started, slightly scratching Aphrodite’s chin and smiling fondly at her. “I don’t understand why either but I’m most thankful to this little miss here. She was the best wingwoman I’ve ever had. I guess I’m just happy she thinks I’m good enough for Yuta.”

“Hey,” Mark suddenly said, waiting for Jaehyun to look at him. “You are. You’re good to him, so don’t worry. I’ve never seen Yuta this happy.”

“Mark,” Jaehyun flushed, embarringly touched by the other’s words. “Thank you, really—”

“Just don’t make him cry like that ever again, deal? Holding Taeyong down from going for your neck was hard enough.”

A wince. Meeting Taeyong hadn’t been a pleasant experience, at all.

“Deal.”

{-}

The song playing in the background wasn’t familiar to Yuta, but then again, he hadn’t really recognized most of Jaehyun’s LPs. Even if he had mocked Jaehyun for owning so many limited editions LPs and a record player that looked too out-of-place in Jaehyun’s simple and clean apartment, Yuta had to give it to him, the tune was chill enough to make him close his eyes and slow his breathing down so he could concentrate in the music. Being a dancer entailed listening to lots of diverse genres of music yet most of the songs on his playlist were upbeat, cheerful tunes with enough drops and cool sounds to ignite his choreographer's imagination. He barely had time for this kind of slow, smooth music that dropped like honey into his ears.

He didn’t hate it.

“This one’s nice.”

Jaehyun chuckled. It was kind of weird to be in Jaehyun’s room but Yuta had to admit it was quite nice to be catless for a couple of hours. It was nice not to have to share Jaehyun with Aphrodite, to have all his undivided attention without the constant scratching and meowing.

“I knew you would like it.”

“It’s kinda sexy. What, are you trying to seduce me?” 

Yuta shivered when Jaehyun slowly caressed his back with the pad of his fingers, skin fortunately warm. It felt good.

“I think I already did.”

When Yuta turned his head towards the other side, he discovered Jaehyun was looking at him. Even if they had been in this same situation a thousand times, both just covered by the sheets laying on the same mattress, bodies sweaty and a deep comfortable satisfaction warming his insides, and even if every single time Jaehyun looked at him that way, Yuta’s heart couldn’t help but pick up. He didn’t think he would grow used to all the different emotions that Jaehyun triggered within him. And he didn’t want to. It was exhilarating, and YUt’as blood always thrummed pleasantly when encountered with the array of emotions.

“You did.” Yuta conceded, bones progressively melting into the sheets with every stroke of Jaehyun’s fingers. “But maybe I won’t give in so easily next time. You’ll have to get creative, I’m warning you.”

“I think I still have a lot of ideas on how to get you in bed. Pretty sure you’ll give in every single time.”

“Cocky.”

In a second, Jaehyun was on top of him, pinning his wrists next to his cushion, his broad body a comfortable and familiar weight on top of him.

“I just know what you like. I have faith.”

Yuta rolled his eyes, trying to mask the way such a statement had made his skin heat up.

“And what do I like, mmh?”

“For starters,” Jaehyun began, bending down to kiss the corner of Yuta’s right eye, his cheek, his jaw, his lobe. “I know you have a thing for me in my uniform.”

A giggle.

“That’s common sense, though. It doesn’t count.”

“And,” Jaehyun kept going, unbothered by Yuta’s interruption, his lips dragging all the way from Yuta’s neck to his chin. “I know you especially like it when I tell you how much I love you.”

“Agh, Jaehyun please—”

“But that’s okay because I get it. I also love it when you tell me how much you can’t live without me.”

“You’re insufferable,” Yuta huffed, affection dripping in his voice. “But you’re not lying. I do love you.”

He closed his eyes when he felt the ghost touch of his boyfriend’s lips on top of his.

“That’s good, then, since I love you, too.”

“Just kiss me already, stupid.”

And instead of answering, Jaehyun just did as told, laughing sleepily before finally kissing Yuta’s plump mouth.