Work Text:
“Can’t sleep.”
“Again?”
Hoseok nods and drops himself onto their couch. This is the fourth night in a row he’s turned up at the studio when it’s sometime past midnight and the other members are all fast asleep. Yoongi isn’t included, but Yoongi never was in the first place. He’s a night owl, always has been, and he’s had the whole ‘not sleeping properly’ thing sussed since he was seventeen. Hoseok, though, has not, and these past few weeks of not sleeping properly have really taken its toll on him. His eyes are always dark and puffy these days, and his performances are suffering from his exhaustion too; his dance moves are sloppy and he’s constantly messing up his raps. His enthusiasm is running on empty. He doesn’t seem like himself lately.
“Yah, I can feel you staring at me. Stop thinking about it and do work.” Hoseok mumbles, face pressed into the arm of the chair. He doesn’t even open his eyes. Yoongi continues to stare.
“You really should go back to the dorm and try to sleep.”
“You know what, that hadn’t occurred to me. I should just try to sleep! You’re a genius, Yoongi hyung!”
“Yeah, a regular Einstein.”
Under normal circumstances, Yoongi would reprimand him. He’d remind him that he’s the younger one here and he shouldn’t talk to his hyung like that. But these are exceptional circumstances and Hoseok looks so pitiful curled up on their dirty studio couch trying to sleep. Yoongi doesn’t think he’d be able to give Hoseok a lecture on respect right now even if he wanted to.
“Seriously hyung, stop staring at me; you’re making me nervous.”
Yoongi chuckles lowly as he gets up out of his seat and makes his way to the little cupboard in the back corner of the room. It’s mostly full of spare pens, notebooks and snacks their managers don’t know about, but Yoongi had remembered that there’s a blanket tucked into the back that they keep in here for when it gets cold in the winter. No one had used it in at least 2 months and it really needs washing, but it’ll do for now.
He gets it out, careful to avoid knocking over a cup full of the black biros Namjoon likes to write with. Holding one corner, Yoongi shakes it a little to unfold it, then holds one side and whips it up and down to get some of the dust out. When he thinks he’s got it at dust-free as he possibly can, he turns back to Hoseok, who’s watching him instead of trying to sleep, and gently places it on top of him.
“Hoseok-ah, our baby Hoseok-ah.” Yoongi coos, leaning down to tuck the blanket around Hoseok’s back properly. Hoseok has talked about how he misses being the maknae like he was at home, so Yoongi figures he might as well baby Hoseok while he can, before the real maknaes show up and he has to be Hoseok hyung again. Hoseok doesn’t have to worry about that while he’s around; Yoongi is the hyung when it’s just the two of them. Hoseok has no need to be mature when it’s just the two of them. Maybe it’ll make him feel less homesick to be the maknae for a little while. Maybe it’s homesickness that’s been keeping him up at night.
Yoongi crouches down next to the couch, pushes the blanket down, away from Hoseok’s face so he doesn’t breathe in the dust. His hand lingers. Hoseok is still looking at him with big eyes. Yoongi strokes a finger along Hoseok’s soft cheek, waits a second, then moves to stroke his hair. Hoseok is still watching him. Yoongi smiles softly.
“No,” Yoongi mumbles, voice not much more than a rumble in his throat, “my baby Hoseok-ah.”
Hoseok smiles, eyes finally drifting shut. Yoongi continues to stroke his hair.
“Hyung?”
“Mm?”
“You’re the best.”
Yoongi huffs a laugh, fingers still combing through Hoseok’s hair. It’s starting to get long again, Yoongi thinks. The stylists will probably cut it soon. Yoongi decides he prefers it when it’s a little long as the strands fall through his fingers.
“I know.”
Yoongi carries on stroking Hoseok’s hair even after he falls asleep.
Hoseok doesn’t visit the studio the next night, or the night after. Yoongi is relieved that he’s finally getting some sleep, and after a few days Hoseok visibly starts brightening up and seeming more like the Hoseok everyone knew again. People had noticed that he hasn't quite been himself and they were all starting to miss the sound of his laughter. When their dance teacher walked in to see Hoseok playing around with the younger members – something he hadn’t done for over a month – he was so happy he bought everyone dinner.
But it only lasts two weeks before Hoseok’s back at the studio, knocking on the door so lightly Yoongi almost didn’t hear it.
“Come in.” Yoongi calls, pulling the headphones from his ears and putting them down next to the keyboard. He knows who it is. Namjoon and Seokjin never knock; the kids do but they never come here this late at night. There’s no one it could be but Hoseok.
Hoseok sheepishly peeks his head around the door, wide eyed like he thinks Yoongi will bite his head off for disturbing him. He shuffles into the room coyly, like he’s entering a lion’s den, like this is the first time this has happened. He’s still in his pyjamas, wrapped up in Taehyung’s big grey hoodie, bed head leaving his hair pointing in all directions. It’s ridiculous and adorable and Yoongi can’t help but laugh to himself.
“Don’t laugh at me hyung.” Hoseok whines, the ice having apparently been broken because then he strides across to the couch and throws himself down on it.
“Your hair is a mess.” Yoongi tells him, watching him wriggle around in an attempt to get comfortable.
“I don’t care,” Hoseok mumbles, finally laying still, “just do your work and ignore me.”
So Yoongi does. For over an hour he sits there, staring at his blank word document. He watches the cursor blink mockingly as Yoongi wracks his brain for some words, some lyrics, just a line, but every time he comes up with nothing. Every so often he'll type something, read it back, reread it, delete it, and go back to staring at his empty page again. Yoongi sighs to himself and wonders if a paper and pen will prove more fruitful.
“Hey hyung?” Hoseok says, making Yoongi jump. He’d forgotten Hoseok was there.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever miss the stars?”
Yoongi spins his chair around to face Hoseok, turning the question over in his head as he does. When he, yet again, comes up with nothing, he asks a simple “What?”
Hoseok starts wriggling again, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation even though he was the one who brought it up.
“I don’t know about you but… back home, like in Gwangju, I didn’t live close to the city so at night it was always quiet and dark and nearly every night there would be stars, and it was all I’d ever known so I just assumed I’d be able to see them everywhere.” Hoseok’s staring at the ceiling, engrossed in his own memories. “Then I moved to Seoul, and having to live here took a lot of adjusting, because I grew up in a quiet little town but here it’s always busy and crowded and there are so many lights everywhere, so it was a lot to take in. So when I first moved here, I never thought about the stars because I was so exhausted all the time and I’d sleep all night and never thought to look outside. But then, like, a month later, when I’d finally settled in and I had sort of caught up with my sleep, I was lying in bed wide awake and I…” Hoseok stop himself from continuing. Sighing, he twists his body so he’s sitting up, “you can’t laugh, hyung, seriously.”
“I won’t.” Yoongi promises. Hoseok nods.
“Back home, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d go outside or lay by the window and just… look at the stars. And it made me feel really small and insignificant. In a good way, I mean. Like whatever was troubling me and keeping me up didn’t really matter, because it’s so minuscule in the grand scheme of things, and it was really comforting. I could tell the stars anything and know my voice wouldn’t reach them until I was long gone so-”
“You would talk to them?” Yoongi asks. His voice is quiet, like this is a secret for just the two of them and if he speaks too loud the walls might hear it.
“I know; I know it’s stupid but I-”
“It’s not stupid.” Yoongi insists. That wasn’t what he meant at all. “It sounds peaceful.”
“It was grounding.” Hoseok explains. “And then I’d go to bed and be able to sleep without a problem, almost like magic. And the stars just become like a giant comfort blanket for me, because they reminded me that nothing is ever permanent. But here… there are no stars here. The sky is just… empty. All night. The sky is completely devoid of anything but the moon and the odd plane but... I don’t know. It’s scary. It feels so lonely, like I’m alone in the universe.” Hoseok wrings his hands in his lap; he almost looks nervous, which might explain why he hasn’t looked at Yoongi once since he started talking. While watching him, something tugs harshly in Yoongi’s chest. He realizes he’s ever seen someone look so vulnerable in his whole life.
“Is this why you can’t sleep properly?” Hoseok nods, his eyes fixed on the ground. “You know they’re still there, Hoseok-ah. I know they’re a little difficult to see here, but they haven’t gone anywhere.”
“I know, but it’s like… if I blindfolded you and left you here alone, but I was only stood outside the door and you knew I was there, you still wouldn’t like being left here alone. You’d still worry that I wasn't there, even if you knew I was, wouldn’t you?” Yoongi thinks about it, tries his best to understand, nods. “It’s like that.”
Yoongi doesn’t know what to say. He fidgets in his chair and asks “Is there anything I can do?”
Hoseok laughs to himself, shaking his head gently. “Unless you have a rocket hidden somewhere that you're willing to take me to space in, then no, there isn’t.”
“Hoseok, if I could, I would go to space and bring down every star for you.”
Hoseok looks at Yoongi finally, eyelids blinking heavily a few times. Yoongi’s not quite sure where that come from, or where this surge of affection for Hoseok come from, either, but he knows he means what he just said.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think you’d be able to fit all the stars in one rocket.” Hoseok smiles like he doesn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. Yoongi just shrugs.
“I’d figure something out.”
Hoseok smiles at him again and Yoongi’s hands clench into fists.
“Thank you, hyung.” Hoseok says. Softly, like the words would lose their meaning if he said them too loud.
“I haven’t done anything yet- hey, what if I bought you a telescope?”
Hoseok laughs and lies back down. “Where would we put a telescope? There’s barely enough room for us in the dorm.”
“I’d figure something out.” Yoongi assures him, walking over to the cupboard and pulling out the blanket for Hoseok. He’d washed it during the time that Hoseok didn't come to the studio at night. He made sure to use Hoseok’s favourite fabric softener.
“You don’t need to figure anything out, I don’t need- did you wash this blanket?” Hoseok questions, sniffing the material under his nose. Yoongi smiles to himself and tucks it around Hoseok’s body like he did before.
“Of course I did; I can’t have my little Hoseokie sleeping under a dirty blanket, can I? What kind of hyung would I be?”
Yoongi sits on the floor next to the couch and starts stroking Hoseok’s hair too, just like he did before. Yoongi figures if it’s worked once, it can work again. Within a few seconds, Hoseok’s eyes start to drift shut.
“Can I tell you something?” Hoseok asks, voice already becoming distant, his satoori leaking in without him conscious enough to keep it at bay. Yoongi hums, encouraging him to continue. “You’re my favourite hyung. Just don’t tell Seokjin hyung.”
Yoongi smiles to himself. He watches Hoseok’s face relax, his breathing evening out.
“Can I tell you something too?” Hoseok hums just like Yoongi did. “You’re my favourite dongsaeng. Just don’t tell Jimin.”
Hoseok nods seriously, licks his lips and shifts slightly. Yoongi watches over him all night.
Three days later, a white package arrives at the dorm with the name ‘Min Yoongi’ typed on the address label.
“Yoongi hyung, there’s a package here for you.” Taehyung tells him as he walks into the room, shaking the package next to his ear.
“Yah, don’t shake it.” Yoongi warns, getting up from their low dining table.
“Why?”
“Is it yours to shake?” Yoongi asks, taking it out of Taehyung’s hands. At least it wasn’t Namjoon who opened the door. He would have dropped it already.
“Is it breakable? What is it?” Taehyung asks, hovering around Yoongi, obviously waiting for him to open it.
“Does this package have your name on it?”
“No.”
“Then how is it any of your business what’s in here?”
“Yah, what are you two arguing about this early in the morning?” Seokjin asks, emerging from the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his neck.
“Yoongi hyung has a package but he won’t tell me what’s in it.” Taehyung whines, gesturing to the package in Yoongi’s hands. Seokjin looks at it, looks at Yoongi, looks at Taehyung, then back at the package.
“Stop being so nosy, Taehyung. Yoongi doesn’t have to share everything with us.”
“Yeah but-”
“Just go shower you nosy little brat.” Yoongi tells him, pushing him towards the bathroom. Taehyung goes to protest, but Yoongi quickly escapes to the safety of the bedroom (though not before sticking his tongue out at Taehyung, who’s being forced into the bathroom against his will by Seokjin).
Namjoon is the only other person in the bedroom, barely dressed but neither of them is fazed; they’ve seen each other in less. He watches disinterestedly as Yoongi shoves the package under his bed, pushing it in the darkest corner and hiding it out of direct line of sight with a black t-shirt.
When Yoongi stands upright again, he smiles at Namjoon, who’s spraying his armpits with deodorant. He looks half asleep still.
“Don’t tell anyone where it is, yeah? Especially not Taehyung.” Namjoon nods like he isn’t even really listening. Yoongi isn’t worried though, because Namjoon probably won’t even remember Yoongi was ever here in about 5 minutes.
Back out in the main room, Hoseok shoots him a confused look. Yoongi just shrugs and resumes his breakfast.
The next time Hoseok turns up at the studio, he doesn’t bother knocking. He just walks in, closes the door behind himself and flops down onto the couch with a humph. Yoongi doesn’t even bat an eyelid. He was anticipating Hoseok coming to the studio tonight. He was hoping Hoseok would, even.
“Still can’t sleep?”
“This sucks.” Hoseok whines. He’s been irritable all day and is now slumped over, pouting like a petulant child. Yoongi won’t say anything, though, because it’s just the two of them and Hoseok’s whining doesn’t bother him as much as Taehyung’s does.
Yoongi gets up and starts walking towards the cupboard, but Hoseok tries to stop him by grabbing his wrist.
“I don’t want the blanket, hyung, I’m not cold.”
“I’m not getting the blanket.” Yoongi tells him, walking straight past Hoseok’s outreached arm.
“What are you getting?” Hoseok asks, watching him go.
“You know how the other day you said I was the best hyung in the world?”
“I don’t think those were my exact words, but carry on.”
“Well I am, because I got something that I think will help you sleep.”
“Really?!” Hoseok exclaims, perking up.
“Well. It might. I’m not guaranteeing anything. Actually, you know what, it’s probably stupid but you wouldn’t let me get you a telescope or go into space so this is all I could come up with.”
Hoseok’s now frowning, trying to see around Yoongi’s body as he reaches into the cupboard. “What is it?”
“Lie down and close your eyes.”
“What-”
“Trust me.”
Hoseok frowns harder, but falls back onto his elbows anyway. “It’s not something weird is it?”
“Yah, do you want sleep or not?” Yoongi warns, trying his best to be threatening.
“I want sleep.” Hoseok whines, lying all the way down.
“Then just close your eyes and trust me.”
Hoseok watches Yoongi for another few seconds, but eventually drops his head back and closes his eyes.
“Don’t open them until I say so.” Yoongi tells him, finally pulling the spherical device out of its hiding place. Yoongi’s had it hidden there for days, praying no one would find it because that would ruin everything.
He crosses the room and places it gently on the edge of the desk, reaching the wire to the closest USB port and plugging it in. As he pulls the lid off, Yoongi is suddenly overcome with worry. This is a really bad idea, he thinks. What if Hoseok thinks he’s patronizing him? What if Hoseok thinks it’s stupid? Yoongi really should’ve thought this through, and really shouldn’t have set himself up for failure like he has.
But behind him, there’s a soft whine of ‘hyung’, and Yoongi realizes he’s come too far to back out now. If it all goes wrong, he’ll just apologize. Besides, if there’s a chance this might actually work and Hoseok might get some sleep, Yoongi’s willing to take it, no matter how small. Even if there’s a bigger chance of Yoongi making a fool of himself.
He grabs his phone, and walks over to the light switch.
“I’m about to turn the light off, but don’t open your eyes yet.” Yoongi tells him, waiting for Hoseok’s response with his finger on the switch.
“What the hell are you doing, Yoongi hyung?” Hoseok asks, but his eyes are still closed and there’s an edge of amusement in his voice, which inspires enough confidence in Yoongi for him to feel a little bit more optimistic about this whole idea.
“I’m figuring something out.” He says, and turns the lights off. The studio becomes pitch black with no light; even the computer monitors are off, and there’s no windows, so with the overhead lights switched off it’s impossible to see. Yoongi uses the light from his phone to guide him back to the desk, then cautiously sits down in his chair. He makes sure to find the button on the side of the lamp before he locks his phone and sends them back into darkness.
Yoongi takes a deep breath and clicks it on.
The room fills with the sound of the slight humming of mechanics as the lamp turns and the soft light it emits.
“Hyung, what-”
“You can open your eyes now.”
Yoongi watches Hoseok’s eyes flutter open. He doesn’t take his eyes off Hoseok, but only so he can gauge his reaction.
The walls and ceiling of their tiny studio are covered in faint, blurry stars, circling slowly as the lamp rotates. There’s a moon in the centre of the ceiling, spinning in a vague circle above their heads, and a hundred tiny dots of light swim across the walls. Yoongi watches the stars pass over Hoseok’s skin and realizes he’s holding his breath.
“I know they’re not real, and the projector isn’t even that good but… this way you can still look up at the stars.”
Around them, the stars continue to dance across every surface they hit, unaffected by what’s going on below them. Just like real stars, Yoongi thinks, waiting nervously for Hoseok to say something.
“I’m not trying to… belittle your problem,” Yoongi’s starting to babble, but he’s nervous and Hoseok still hasn’t said anything, “or say that this is the same as real stars, I just thought that maybe… for now, I mean, maybe this could work.”
“I can’t believe you did this.” Hoseok croaks, looking over at Yoongi. A beam of light reflects off of Hoseok’s eye, making it glisten more than usual and Yoongi feels a little dizzy. “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble for me.”
“Trouble? What trouble? I already told you, Hoseok, I would bring the stars here to you if I could. I would’ve bought you telescope if we had room for it. I even looked at little handheld ones but they wouldn’t have been powerful enough to see-”
Yoongi’s cut off by a forceful tug, pulling him on top of Hoseok on the couch. Hoseok wraps his arms around Yoongi’s neck instantly, clutching onto him like they really are in space and he might float away if he doesn’t hold on tight. Yoongi grips onto the sides of Hoseok’s shirt the same way.
“I was scared you wouldn’t like it.” Yoongi admits quietly into Hoseok’s shoulder, letting him dig his fingers into Yoongi’s skin. “Right before I turned it on I thought ‘what if he hates it? What thinks I’m making fun of him?’, but I thought, ‘it might work’. And if there’s a chance it’ll help you sleep, I’ll take it, even if there’s a bigger chance I’ll just embarrass myself.” Hoseok says nothing, so Yoongi continues. “I even got a green one because I know it’s your favourite colour.”
Hoseok lets out a choked laugh at that, wobbly and wet and Yoongi pulls back to see Hoseok’s eyes full of unshed tears. He panics and tries to get up but Hoseok sits up too and grabs onto Yoongi’s arms to keep him in place.
“Why are you crying?” Yoongi asks, bewildered. He didn't mean to upset Hoseok.
“I’m just…” Hoseok quickly looks around them, like the stars will have an answer written in them, “overwhelmed. This is so thoughtful, I never thought that someone would-” Yoongi can do nothing but watch Hoseok’s lips quiver as he holds back a sob, arms still in Hoseok’s hold, “I never thought someone would understand, let alone do all this.” Hoseok looks across the room again, watches the stars spin silently around them. Still unaffected, still unaware. Artificial, but still serving their purpose. “Thank you.”
“Hoseok-ah, how many times do I have to tell you?” Yoongi says, soft but firm, gently pulling his arms away so he can place a hand either side of Hoseok’s face to wipe away the tears with his thumbs. “I’d do anything for you, Hoseok. Don’t you know that by now?”
It may be more fitting to describe what happens next as cosmic; to say that the stars aligned and a supernova took place behind their eyelids when their lips met. But that’s not what happens. What happens is just a kiss; a tentative touch of the lips too coy to be anything more. But it feels right and Hoseok doesn't think he's ever felt this calm before.
“Hyung, I-” Hoseok begins, but Yoongi shushes him with a giddy grin.
“Don’t tell me,” Yoongi says, laying them both back down under the fake star light, Hoseok’s head finding its place on Yoongi’s chest and Yoongi’s fingers falling into Hoseok’s hair naturally. Hoseok feels the most grounded he has in months, “tell the stars. They’ve missed you, Hoseok-ah.”
Hoseok sleeps peacefully that night.