Chapter Text
Chakotay stood stiffly at attention in front of his captain’s desk. “Captain, you wished to see me.”
His stance wasn’t lost on Kathryn and she shook her head sadly. “Has it come to this, Chakotay?” When he didn’t move, she sighed sadly. “At ease.”
He barely altered his posture. “Have you last minute orders, Captain?”
She rolled her eyes now. “Fine. If you want to play it this way.” She came out from behind her desk. “Actually, no. Not this way. I can’t anyway.” She saw him frown and leaned against her desk.
“Chakotay, I asked you here because… Look, to state the obvious, we’re home. There are no charges pending against anyone so all is well. People are happy about all of that. Well, most seem to be.” She looked at him pointedly.
He just stared ahead at the wall.
“Chakotay, don’t be like this. We’ve been through so much. We’ve been to hell and back for seven years and achieved the impossible in getting our ship and crew home.”
He barely nodded, to confirm he’d heard her words if nothing else.
“Chakotay, I asked you here because I want to thank you for everything. I want to thank you for all you’ve done and been…to this crew and to me personally.”
“You’re welcome.”
She closed her eyes a moment. It was a slight improvement. “Can I ask what your plans are or is that too personal? Are you and Seven going to…”
That changed the temperature of the room. Chakotay felt his blood boil as his eyes snapped to hers. “How do you know about that?”
Kathryn shrugged slightly. “The admiral told me. Is it serious? How long have you both been…?”
She didn’t get to finish her sentence before he was right in front of her. “Why do you want to know? What business is it of yours?”
She put her hands to her sides and gripped the edge of the desk. “Forgive me for my weakness but I’d hoped that when we got home…that you and I…that…” She looked away from him. “It doesn’t matter now, I guess.”
He stared hard at her. “Are you telling me you’ve had feelings for me all this time and never said anything?” He felt his emotions churn together and rise up inside him, almost like a volcano about to erupt.
She briefly met his eyes. “Yes, I guess that’s what I’m saying. I couldn’t say anything before. You know that.” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore now.”
He moved closer to her, his face almost touching hers.
Kathryn stared deeply into his eyes. She saw his anger but somehow her mind dismissed it. Her own eyes fell to his lips and before she knew what she was doing or even thought about it, she leaned in and kissed him hungrily.
Chakotay froze for a moment and then everything inside him exploded. Feelings he’d thought not just long dormant but dead, surged to the surface. Suddenly he was gripping her to him and returning the kiss with a mix of anger and pure lust. His body took over and his mind surrendered as he ripped at her uniform, his hands squeezing her breasts none to gently. He vaguely heard her whimper, in pain or passion, he didn’t know but at that moment, he didn’t care.
All he knew was a burning desire to punish this woman for all he felt she’d put him through. Seven years of emotions and unrequited love boiled to the surface. He pulled away and spun her around before pushing her over her desk, his hands ripping her pants down then freeing himself. His actions registered in his mind somewhere, alongside a voice screaming at him that all this was so very wrong but the physical silenced it. His fingers groped and probed her a moment before he lined himself up and then pushed roughly into her depths. He vaguely heard her cry of pain followed by a squeak of some sound he knew wasn’t of passion. She wasn’t as dry as he’d expected but she wasn’t ready and some part of him knew that...knew that he was hurting her. He was even hurting himself.
Some tiny area of his mind wondered why she wasn’t fighting him but that too was pushed aside as he plundered her body. And then he groaned out his release, caring nothing for any satisfaction or not for the woman sprawled beneath him.
With the boil of his lust and anger lanced, he pulled away and finally looked at his captain pushing herself up from her desk. As he tucked himself back into his pants, she turned slightly and slid to the floor. With amazing dignity, she got to her knees then pulled her pants up as best she could. She stood shakily and moved towards her bathroom, not looking back. “Hell of a way to finish the journey.”
^^^^^^^^^^
TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER.
Chakotay sat in front of his small shelter and folded his medicine bundle. Once again, he’d failed to find the deep sense of peace he sought. He’d been staying here, a distance from his sister’s home. It was spartan and housed nothing but some basic bedding and scant food and water. His belongings, such as they were, he’d left with his sister. He’d come to this place to isolate himself and seek something he couldn’t name.
He’d constructed the single roomed space a few months ago, having returned to his home planet following two years of just wandering. It was ‘out in the middle of nowhere’ according to his sibling but he knew he was in no mental state to be around the villagers, especially the children.
He looked up now and blinked several times against the bright sun to try and clear his vision. One part of his mind denied the image approaching him but he knew who it was.
“B’Elanna.”
She smiled as she came closer then sat down beside him on a rock.
“Sit down.”
She smiled at that. “I’m always one step ahead of you, you know that.”
He tried for a smile but failed. “How did you find me?”
She just shrugged. “You know one Maquis can always find another.”
He placed his medicine bundle on the ground beside him. “My sister. I told her to never…”
She looked around her. “Well, for me she did.” She looked back at the man beside her. “Starfleet has been trying to find you.”
He picked up a twig and played with it. “I know. I heard. I figured they were changing their minds about charges.”
She laughed at that. “After all this time?”
He snapped the twig. “Either way, that’s all the past.”
She studied him a moment before speaking. “Kathryn…”
His head shot up at that and he looked at her. “On first name terms now, are we?”
She rolled her eyes. “Drop the sarcasm. It doesn’t suit you.”
He just sighed heavily. “What about her?”
B’Elanna folded her hands in her lap. “She was the one who asked them to find you.” She knew he’d heard her but he didn’t answer. “What the hell happened between you both? I know you were…together.”
That got his full attention and his eyes flew to hers. “She told you?”
She looked at him sadly. “No, she didn’t…but… Let’s just say I know. Your reaction just now confirms it.”
He fought down his anger, a constant companion of his. “Just take it from me, she’s better off not finding me. She’s better off without me. You can take my word for that.”
Instead of matching his anger, B’Elanna just felt pity seeing him like this. “Chakotay… Look, whatever happened, you need to…”
His anger rose. “No, B’El.” He held his hands up to silence her. “You really want to know?” He shook his head and stared out over the landscape for a moment, as if trying to sort his thoughts. Finally, he looked back at her. “OK. Let me tell you. I’m sick of carrying this anyway. You can then walk away because you won’t want to know me anymore.”
He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Slowly he opened them again and looked at her. She saw deep pain within their depths. “You’re right. We were ‘together’ as you put it but it wasn’t what you think. It wasn’t romantic…all wine and roses or soft music. It was…anything but.”
The pain in his eyes intensified. “The last day on board when we got back… She called me to her ready room. I was…barely polite. Very professional, I guess. That’s all there really was between us at that stage.” He picked up some small stones and rolled them around his hand. “She said she wanted to thank me…for all I’d been to the crew and to her personally.”
B’Elanna studied him as he spoke but she didn’t interrupt.
He tossed the stones away and slapped his hands together to get rid of the dust from them. “She then asked about my plans and about Seven….” He shook his head. “I didn’t know she knew about us and I guess it annoyed me. She said the admiral had told her. She asked how long and how serious it was and so on. I countered that with… I asked why she wanted to know.”
Anger covered the pain in his eyes now. “She told me, finally admitted, that she had feelings for me and had hoped now we were home…” He clenched his hands into fists. “Half of what she said… I don’t know. I was angry that she’d never told me. I got really into her face, staring at her and…” He dropped his head back. “She suddenly kissed me.” He raised his head and met her eyes. “I thought I’d put all that behind me.”
B’Elanna looked at him sadly. “What happened?”
He uncurled his hands then made fists again. “The basic sordid details are that I kissed her back and then…… I was angry. I somehow wanted to punish her but that’s no excuse for…” He looked at her in anguish. “It should never have been in anger.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Here’s where you phaser me.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “I pushed her face down over her desk and ripped her pants down. I fucked her like an animal and she just took it. She didn’t fight me but it was still...” He saw her shock and looked away. “By all accounts, I raped her.”
B’Elanna’s thoughts swirled. “I don’t believe… You wouldn’t…couldn’t…”
He stood up and moved away a little. “Well, I did.”
He looked around to find her standing beside him. And then his head snapped back as she punched him hard in the jaw.
He staggered a moment then turned back, glaring at her and rubbing at his jaw. “Exactly. I deserve that.” He moved away a little. “And she wants to see me? I don’t think so.” He bent down to pick up his medicine bundle. “Tell them…tell her…you couldn’t find me.”
B’Elanna reached out and grabbed his arm. He could see her temper but she had it well under control. “I’d love to do that but… I can’t.” She sat back down and waited.
Finally, he sat also. She studied him a moment and then sighed. “Look, I don’t know the full story of what happened. I’m sure there has to be more to it but that’s between the two of you.” She pulled out her personal comm unit. “You see…” She fiddled with it then looked at him sadly. “I have a mission, if you like. Yes, she sent me but...” She handed the unit to him which contained an image. “The one who really sent me.”
Chakotay stared in shock at the image of a small child. “His name’s Edward and he’s 22 months old. Everyone calls him Teddy though. He took the name himself. Tom’s dad gave him a teddy bear dressed in a Starfleet uniform like his mom’s. He insisted we call him Teddy as well. He’s very ahead of himself. ‘He Teddy’ and ‘me Teddy’. He didn’t know ‘Teddy’ was short for Edward of course but there you go.”
Chakotay felt his entire body go into shock. “He’s Kathryn’s?” He looked over at her.
She smiled softly. “Yeah. I think he looks more like his daddy though, don’t you?”
Chakotay jumped up. “Oh, spirits… What have I done?” He looked down at the image again and stroked his finger over it. He felt tears coming to his eyes. “He’s beautiful. He’s perfect.” He looked at his old friend. “B’El, I can’t ever face her…especially after this. I’m the last person she or he needs…”
She stood up also. “Well, you’re going to have to get past that.” She sighed heavily. “He’s sick. Very sick. He needs a bone marrow transplant. Kathryn shows some… She’s not a match though...not what he needs. Nor is anyone in her family. They’ve tried the Federation medical database, the bone marrow registers. They can’t find anyone. The entire crew and all their families went for testing. The Doctor thinks it’s something to do with the virus you were both exposed to in the Delta Quadrant…something passed on to him. From medical records he had from you before, he’s sure you’ll be a perfect match.”
He just stood there shaking his head. B’Elanna ran at him and punched his shoulder. “Chakotay, just man up. This is a child…YOUR child. Just go and donate. Slip in and out then run back and hide all you want but don’t you dare let that child die. He’s an innocent. Deal with the rest on your own but you help that child or so help me you and I will have a very serious problem. If I have to, I’ll fucking stun you and drag you back.”
^^^^^^^^^^
As they walked back to the village, Chakotay put his medicine bundle under his arm. “Did you tell Sekaya?”
Watching where she walked, B’Elanna shook her head. “No. She just trusted me to have a good reason for seeking you out.”
They reached the village and he handed her his medicine bundle. “Take care of this for me please. Let me tell her.”
“OK. Go on.” She spotted a wooden bench and sat down. She placed his medicine bundle on her lap, one hand stroking over the soft skin. She looked around her, people going about their business and smiled at some children playing together, no different than children anywhere.
Suddenly her attention was drawn to the home of Chakotay’s sister as raised voices floated out to her. The levels rose until the voices were shouting and then screaming at each other. She didn’t understand the language but then she didn’t need to. Something smashed and then several loud bangs were heard.
Chakotay came out of the door holding his jaw again as the angry voice of his sister followed him out. B’Elanna bit the inside of her mouth to try and stop her laughter. He walked over to her. “She…”
She managed to hold the laughter back but couldn’t stop her face breaking into a grin. “It’s OK. I don’t need a translation.”
Suddenly a bag came flying out the door and hit him on the back. This was followed by several items of clothing. Sekaya appeared in the open doorway and let him have another string of her anger. She nodded to B’Elanna before returning inside.
Chakotay bent down and retrieved his clothing then packed them into his bag. He took his medicine bundle from B’Elanna and packed that away also. He stood and slung the bag over his shoulder. “Lead the way.”
She pointed out a direction and walked that way, Chakotay following her. “How did you get here?”
She waved at some of the children. “Tom. Owen let us have the Flyer.”
Adjusting his bag, he rolled his eyes. “I suppose he’s going to punch me as well.”
B’Elanna pretended to think about that. “Maybe. Actually, I think there’s a queue.”
He stopped a moment. “Do they all know?”
She kept walking. “Know what?”
He trotted after her to catch up. “Do they all know what I did?”
She shrugged. “No one knows anything specific. They know you left and that hurt and angered them. They felt they deserved better from you. They knew within months that Kathryn was pregnant. When Teddy was born, they all knew who his father was. As you saw, there was no hiding it.”
He frowned at that. “Kathryn said nothing?”
She looked to the side at him. “No. And before you ask, I don’t believe she’s said anything to her family either. She told me on the quiet that you were together once and then you left. She also told me that was all she’d told her family. It was made clear, without her saying anything, that that’s all she was going to say on the subject. No one else, like the crew, asked anything. Oh, I’m sure there was whispered speculation but there wasn’t open discussion or gossip. They all respect her too much for that.”
He stepped around some villagers and smiled at them then waited until they were out of earshot before speaking again. “Was she trying to find me before? When she was pregnant or when he was born?”
B’Elanna shook her head. “I don’t think so. She certainly never said anything to me.” She pointed to where the Delta Flyer was set down then they walked the rest of the way in silence.
As they reached the shuttle, Tom stepped down to them. B’Elanna nodded at her husband. “Don’t punch him. He’s already been hit twice. Four times if you count his sister with his bag and me with his shoulder.”
Tom held his hands up in surrender. As Chakotay slid his bag off his shoulder, Tom hit him anyway. “Sorry. I just had to.”
^^^^^^^^^^
On their way back, with Tom piloting, B’Elanna filled Chakotay in. She held his chin and ran a dermal regenerator over his face. “Better?”
He moved his jaw back and forth and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” He sat back. “Go on. Tell me more.”
Putting the instrument away, she studied him. “She said nothing.” She sat down beside him. “You saw her when we got back. She put her head down and went through it all. After debriefings, you left. She was promoted to Admiral and took it. I guess she felt Starfleet was all she had. She threw herself into work but she was… It was as if she was back on Voyager in our last year or so. All work, sad looking and no real spark.”
She stretched her legs out. “Then it changed. She cut back on her hours and ate better. She seemed happier. When she began to show, it became clear why.” She looked at him sadly. “She didn’t have an easy pregnancy. She was sick a lot…morning sickness that went on all day, blood pressure problems and other issues. She almost miscarried twice. She had to quit work at six months. I expected her to fight that but she didn’t. Within a month, the Doctor put her into Starfleet medical. He’s working there now, by the way. Anyway, she obeyed all his orders. Shocked the hell out of him, I can tell you.”
She saw the pain on his face as she told him the details but spoke on. “At eight months, she went into premature labour. She haemorrhaged very heavily and nearly died. She was in intensive care for over a week, then still in medical for another two weeks. Teddy was in the neonatal intensive care for a week, mostly to stabilize his blood sugar and address his low birth weight then in the paediatric unit for a few days. They went home a week before he should have been born.”
She stood up and replicated two cups of tea then handed one to him before sitting down again. “She continued maternity leave after he was born. She was still very weak but seemed happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
They drank for a few minutes in silence. When she finished her tea, B’Elanna played with the empty cup. “She never bad mouthed you. She actually didn’t talk about you at all. Whether that was to protect you, herself or Teddy, I can’t say.” She smiled slightly. “Anyway, once we all saw that little guy… It was obvious who his daddy was. I’ve no idea what she told her family, whether she told them before but once they saw him, I’d say they guessed. To be honest, even before, many at least suspected you. The timing and so on. I think most of us thought ‘who else?”
She took their cups and placed them in the recycler. “Everyone has been there for her though. She’s had so much support and help, gifts and… We all adore him.”
He looked across at her. “Edward.” He tested the name on his lips and nodded his approval.
She returned to her seat beside him. “Yeah, after her father…but that was shortened to Teddy as I told you. If he has a second name, I don’t know it. I also don’t know if you’re named as his father. I haven’t seen his birth cert and I didn’t ask either.”
He ran a hand through his hair then gripped a handful at the back of his head for a moment, to the point of pain, before letting go. “She went through all that alone.”
B’Elanna shook her head. “Oh, she wasn’t alone but… As I said to you before, she has a lot of support.” She smiled softly. “Perhaps too much. She probably wishes we’d all take a running jump at times. And just in case you were thinking it, they don’t hate you. They were hurt and angry by your disappearance but they also know that you couldn’t have known about Teddy.”
“What happened with him? What’s wrong with him?”
B’Elanna rubbed at her face. “I only know the basics. About three months ago, he began to get ill. Little things at first then more and more. It’s something called Aplastic Anaemia. His bone marrow doesn’t make enough new blood cells. I don’t know all the details but Doc can tell you. Either way, he needs a bone marrow transplant to save his life.” When she looked at the man beside her, he had his eyes closed but the pain on his face was clear to see. She reached over and gripped his hand. “We found you and you’ll save him, Chakotay. We have to believe that. Worry about everything else later.”
^^^^^^^^^^
Voyager’s Doctor greeted Chakotay like an old friend when he reported to his offices at Starfleet Medical. He’d come straight from the Flyer.
“Good to see you again, Doctor.”
The medic indicated to a chair then took another one beside him. “I’m just going to get straight to the point, Chakotay.” He stopped. “Am I OK to use your given name?”
Chakotay smiled sadly. “It’s all I am these days, Doc.”
The medic nodded. “OK. What has B’Elanna told you?”
Leaning back in the chair, he related all he’d been told.
Picking up a padd and activating it, the Doctor scrolled through the data. “First off, you ARE Teddy’s biological father. Kathryn had already confirmed that to me but DNA tests proved it. I could do that, already having your medical history.” He smiled at the man beside him and then grew serious.
“I’m just going to give you a crash course here. I can give you more details later if you need them.” He looked directly at Chakotay. “Teddy has a condition called Aplastic Anaemia. It’s rare nowadays but does still exist. It’s basically a condition in which his own bone marrow doesn’t produce an adequate number of new blood cells. His bone marrow is damaged which causes a slowing or shutting down of the production of those new blood cells. Over the past three months or so he presented with various symptoms. Some of these were taken as harmless in isolation but as time went on, we put them together and came to this diagnosis. He had fatigue. He looked pale, even with your colouring added in with Kathryn’s. He developed various infections which were tough to treat and he bruised easily. Being a toddler, that’s not always picked up as part of an illness because of the usual rough and tumble of a boy that age. He then began to suffer nosebleeds. When he cut himself, stopping the bleeding was harder than usual. Same with the nosebleeds. He had some rashes, he’d get dizzy, had headaches, fever and nausea. His hands and feet were also always cold.”
Pain filled Chakotay at the thought of any child suffering all that. “How did he get it?”
The Doctor shook his head. “There can be several reasons. Exposure to radiation or chemicals which wasn’t applicable here. A viral infection is highly possible, the immune system attacking healthy cells and stem cells in the bone marrow. Sometimes we just never know the reason, which seems more likely in this case. That’s called idiopathic, when it’s due to an unknown cause. It can even be hereditary but there are no markers in your medical history or Kathryn’s. As is often the case, we just don’t know.”
“Can this cure him, Doctor?”
A small smile came to the medic’s face. “If you’re a match, which I believe you are, then yes. I’m confident it can.” He leaned back. “A successful transplant can cure this for life.” He sat forward again. “I have to say though that there can be side effects such as his immune system reacting against the body. That’s called graft versus host disease. There can be reaction to the donor cells.” He smiled softly again. “The overall survival rate after transplant in children with this condition is over ninety percent.” He placed a hand on Chakotay’s arm. “Chakotay, for reasons I can’t fully understand, matching Teddy’s bone marrow is down to your bone marrow. Whatever… I believe the virus you and Kathryn were exposed to somehow passed to Teddy and it’s playing a part here. As Kathryn didn’t match completely, I therefore believe that you’re the only person in this entire quadrant who’s a perfect match for him.”
Quickly digesting that, Chakotay sat forward. “Then let’s get started.”
^^^^^^^^^^
Having undergone all the necessary tests and leaving the Doctor and his team working, Chakotay shuffled down the hall to where the medic had told him he’d find Teddy’s room. He fought with himself on whether to walk on or turn and leave but the lure of seeing his son was too strong. Even a glimpse of the boy would be worth it in case this was his only chance to ever see him. It was something his heart just couldn’t resist.
He reached the door and looked in through the glass panel. He saw Kathryn inside beside his son’s bed. Her appearance shocked him. She was painfully thin and she looked exhausted. Her hair was a mess, just scraped back from her face and she wore no makeup. She stood leaning over the safety rail on the bed, her sleeves pulled up to the elbows. Her left arm leaned on the rail while her right hand stroked over her son’s hair. He could see her lips moving, perhaps a lullaby or story, even though the boy seemed asleep.
Closing his eyes, he fought the inner pain he felt. Even at her worst times in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn had looked better. He turned and moved away from the door, his head down. Suddenly someone stormed up to him and stopped inches before him.
He looked up at a dark-haired woman. Eyes so similar to Kathryn’s shot daggers at him. Without warning her hand raised and slapped him hard across the face. “Bastard.” She slapped him again. “Fucking coward.” A third slap brought “that’s for Kathryn” and a fourth came with “that’s for Teddy.”
They both turned at the sound of a bone-weary voice from the now open door. “Phoebes…don’t. Please.”
Phoebe Janeway turned angrily to her sister, as if about to defend her actions then thought better of it. She mumbled an apology. “Sorry, Katie.”
Kathryn shook her head. “Can you go pick up Mom, please?”
Phoebe nodded and moved away but not before she gave Chakotay a glare that would match any her sister had ever produced.
Kathryn leaned against the door frame, looking as if she couldn’t hold herself upright without the support. “B’Elanna told me she found you.”
He forced himself to hold her eyes. “Yes. She told me about him.”
Nodding at that, she leaned her head against the frame now. “Are you going to donate?”
He nodded. “Yes, I am. I’ve already been tested.”
She closed her eyes as if in silent prayer. “Thank you.”
“B’Elanna showed me an image of him. He’s beautiful.” His voice seemed to jolt her.
“Yes, he is.” She seemed to think for a moment. “Would you like…” She drew in a deep breath. “You can come in and see him.”
Tears came to his eyes. “Thank you. I’d love that. I didn’t expect…”
She pushed herself away from the door and turned then stumbled slightly. He caught her gently and led her into the room. Spotting an armchair, he guided her over to it then eased her down. “You look exhausted.” He took a chance. “Get some rest and I’ll sit with him.”
She looked about to object but couldn’t summon the energy to argue. Instead, she just nodded her head and lay back. “I’ll just rest my eyes…” She was asleep almost immediately.
^^^^^^^^^^
Chakotay couldn’t take his eyes off his sleeping son although he was afraid to touch him. Kathryn was still asleep in the chair and he’d draped a blanket over her. He studied every centimetre of the sleeping face of the small boy and smiled, despite the gravity of their situation.
A slight noise made him look up. An older version of Kathryn stood at the other side of the bed. He hadn’t heard her come in and stood up immediately. Gretchen Janeway studied him a moment before she spoke. “The wanderer returns, I see.” She looked down at her grandson then back at Chakotay. “Have you been tested?”
He nodded at her. “Yes, I have.” He shifted from foot to foot. “Kathryn said I could…” He pointed over his shoulder. “She was exhausted and… I said I’d watch over…”
Gretchen quietly lifted a chair and placed it on the other side of the bed then sat. “Relax, Chakotay. It’ll help you finish your sentences.”
She smiled softly. “Sit down. I’m not blaming you for anything, despite my younger daughter’s attack on you earlier.” She smiled slightly at his look of surprise. “She told me. She’s just worried and upset. I apologize for her.”
She folded her arms and came straight to the point. “Are you here to stay or are you just passing through?”
He was shocked at her directness but it explained a lot about her eldest daughter. He sat down and placed one hand on the rail. “I think that depends on others.”
Gretchen studied him. “Chakotay, I know you didn’t know about him. You’d left before Kathryn even knew about Edward…” She shook her head. “Sorry. Teddy.” She smiled down at the child. “I’m torn on that name, you know. It’s hard calling my late husband’s name around the house and yet it’s wonderful that his name lives on.” She smiled at the man across from her. “Does that make sense?”
He smiled in return. “Yes, it does. My sister refused to name her children after our late parents. She said she couldn’t call them, day in and day out. Even though we’d never called them by their birth names, it was still…” He smiled again. “I understand.”
Gretchen smiled her thanks. “Well, he decided on Teddy for himself. Do you know that story?”
“About the bear from Admiral Paris? Yes. B’Elanna told me.”
Teddy stirred suddenly and cried out. Gretchen and Chakotay both stood but Kathryn was still there before them, having jolted awake, completely tuned into her son. Chakotay moved away and pulled his chair back so she could get to Teddy. She instantly soothed the child then stood back. “Mom, I take it you’ve met Chakotay.”
“Yes, dear. I have.” She came around the bed and led Kathryn back to the chair she’d been sleeping in. “We’re both here so you get some more rest.” She glanced back at the bed. “Teddy’s asleep and settled again and we’ll watch him.” She gave her daughter a mock stern look. “Deal?”
Too tired to argue, Kathryn surrendered.
^^^^^^^^^^
A few hours later, the Doctor called in to see Kathryn. He found Gretchen and Chakotay there. He checked his young patient and smiled. “He’s still stable.”
He spoke quietly now. “OK. Chakotay is a perfect match.”
Kathryn closed her eyes and swayed. Her mother and Chakotay steadied her and sat her down. “Thank God.” She took the glass of water the Doctor held out to her and drank deeply. She looked up at him. “What now?”
“We’ll do what’s called an allogenetic transplant which is one from a donor. First though we need to start Teddy on medications to suppress his immune system so his body doesn’t attack the new cells. While we’re doing that, we’ll have to move him to a sterile environment because he’ll be very susceptible to illness and infection. You can be with him but you’ll need to gown and mask up. That should take a few days. Two days before the transplant, we’ll harvest the bone marrow.”
He looked at Chakotay. “The marrow is taken from both hipbones, Chakotay. You’ll be quite sore and off your feet for a couple of days.”
He turned back to Kathryn. “From Teddy’s point of view, receiving it will be just like a blood transfusion. We’ll keep him mildly sedated for that so he doesn’t try and pull out the tubes because that could take up to a week. We’ll cover them with a sleeve though to be safe. During that time, we’ll keep a close watch on him for his blood pressure, chills and fever. We’ll also administer medications to help stop him rejecting the transplanted marrow.”
He squeezed Kathryn’s shoulder. “We’ll take it a day at a time. Try and rest in between, Kathryn. An exhausted mother won’t be good for our little patient.”
^^^^^^^^^^
The next two weeks was a blur of pain, physical and emotional, for Chakotay. He didn’t get to see Kathryn as she spent every moment she could with their son. Teddy had been moved into isolation once he’d begun the medications to supress his immune system. Kathryn was allowed to be with him but Phoebe and Gretchen could only ‘visit’ through the glass panel in the door to the unit.
Chakotay had been moved to a room and subjected to a further battery of tests. At first, they were just uncomfortable but not painful. B’Elanna called by to see him regularly but mostly he was alone…alone to dissect the last two and a half years in his mind. He also examined the previous seven years on board Voyager, in particular the time since his relationship with Kathryn Janeway had disintegrated so badly. He knew he wasn’t solely to blame, that Kathryn had had her part in the demise of, at least, their friendship. Lastly, he addressed the final day in the ready room, the day their son had been conceived, even though neither of them could have known that. A deluge of shame still poured over him when he thought of that day and he’d been running from it ever since.
Finally, Voyager’s doctor had harvested the bone marrow. Chakotay happily accepted his pain, knowing it would save his son but he also used it as a form of penance for himself.
Gretchen kept him appraised of Teddy’s condition for which he was more than grateful. The Doctor also kept him up to date but it wasn’t the same. He was always happy to see Kathryn’s mother when she visited. He’d expected her to just deliver her update and then leave but she always stayed a bit longer to just ‘visit’. Phoebe never came by.
On his last day, Kathryn arrived in his room. He was sitting up in bed, having just received permission to be discharged. He’d been kept as long as he’d been in case a second donation had been required. She came over to him and sat down. “The Doctor says the transplant was a complete success. It only takes a few days to assess success. It used to take weeks and that opened the patient to the risk of life-threatening infections the longer it took the new immune cells to multiply and begin to function normally.” She thought a moment. “I think I got that right. It’s a whole new language.” He smiled but he could see how exhausted and worn down she was. “It was a success anyway which is all that matters.” She gave him a kind look. “Thank you. You saved his life.”
He shook his head. “I’m just so happy it worked. I was at least able to do something for him. I missed everything else.”
She looked at him, a slight uncertainty on her face. “I have a ton of holoimages and footage of him if you’d like to see them.” She looked down into her lap. “There are also probably a million other images out there taken by the crew if you’d prefer...”
“Kathryn…” She looked up. “I’d love to see what you have, if that’s all right.”
She stood up. “Good.” She made for the door. “When are they letting you go?” She looked back at him for the answer.
“Today, actually. I’m going to stay with Tom and B’Elanna for a while.”
She reached the door and opened it. “Teddy should be released tomorrow…the next day at the latest. I’ll call you there once he’s settled back at home. You can come by the house.”
He pretended some fear at that. “Phoebe’s not going to hit me again, is she?” He smiled slightly. “I’ve had more than enough of being hit.”
She smiled and then frowned as what he’d said sunk in. “Did someone else hit you?”
“When B’Elanna found me, she punched me. When I told my sister, she punched me too and threw my stuff out after me. When we got to the shuttle, Tom slugged me as well. I’ve become everyone’s punchbag.” He put on a puppy dog face.
She smiled sadly. “You remind me so much of Teddy. He’s perfected that same hurt little boy look.”
“Does it work on you?”
She shook her head. “Not now. It did the first few times. He’d copped on very quickly how to get to me. It then became my death glare…” She smiled. “And no, I didn’t teach him that. It’s genetic. The glares failed so now I get a full-scale tantrum.” She suddenly looked towards the window, a look of profound sadness on her face. “When he got sick, I’d have given anything for one of his tantrums.”
Before he could say anything to that, she was gone.