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The sky was a clear one. The perfect day for a flight.
Erwin’s head leaned against the window as he stared at the clouds and the waters down below. The fingers on his right hand flexed then closed, the fine gold band on his ring finger gently pressing against his palm. It was still strange, even seven years on, to see his right hand. Erwin didn’t always feel such awe at the sight of his hand but when he did he recalled just how much time had passed and how far they had come.
The knuckles pressed against his mouth as he saw the coastline coming closer to his view. It still struck him as strange; seeing the coastline of a place he’d destroyed only three years prior. It wasn’t entirely rebuilt now. At least not in the way it had been built back then. The marina was rather primitive in the scheme of things but it worked enough to welcome the beginnings of international trade back to Marley.
All of the countries affected by the Rumbling had been reeling. There had been a significant rebuilding effort in all aspects of society. In the very beginning, there had been both chaos as well as a sense of togetherness. Eren’s actions had wrought so much pain to those who remained. Even still, in the bits of humanity that remained, Erwin had witnessed them all coming together. It had been tense and uncertain to say the least. And even though words couldn’t solve all of the world’s problems, they certainly had made a difference. They had in the moment, when the steam cleared and all of the Eldians had returned to their mortal forms. When Erwin had stepped between the Marleyan soldiers and demanded an immediate end to all of this pain, negotiating a fragile trust for the moment. There had been far too much death for an entire lifetime.
In the Paths, Eren had told him everything. Sometimes, it still lingered in Erwin’s mind when he slept at night; the desperation Eren had felt and how, at the end of it all, he was just a boy who felt he had no other choice. He was a child and it had broken Erwin’s heart to see him break down and pulled into all directions at once.
He hadn’t hated Erwin; not entirely. The former commander had been shocked to hear it from Eren’s mouth himself. It had been the only way; to give up Armin and honor his sacrifice while Erwin donned the Colossal Titan’s abilities. The pain had to have driven Eren to this point. To the young man, he’d had no other choice and no other way to move forward if Levi hadn’t made that decision.
Together, in that eternal moment, they had grieved together. They had grieved those who had been lost for the fight for freedom. It didn’t mean Erwin agreed with Eren; he’d been quite angry with him and he still was. There were times where his hand balled into a fist and he felt the fury for those whom Eren had chosen to sacrifice for this future they were left to remain in. Eren knew that Erwin was angry. He had accepted it all and taken the burdens onto himself. In a way, Erwin had realized, that is how they were alike. They had both made the hard choices and sent so many to their deaths. They had both become the Devils the world, in their own eyes, had needed. Their burdens were their own.
He’d promised Eren, then, that he would visit Mikasa on Paradis. Eren had mourned and sobbed and exclaimed like a child how unfair it was, but he’d understood. The vow Erwin had made was taken seriously. He would visit Mikasa and make sure she was carrying on. That meant travel every couple of months but he had made it work. Plus, he needed to keep a close eye on the situation in Paradis. The Jaegerists had made their claim on the country and were militarizing, but there was no sign of outward expansion. It was better that way. Erwin trusted Historia enough to have a tight fist over her military. No longer was he the Commander, even if Historia had offered him the position of Ministry of Defense time and time again. Even when he had boarded the first trans-oceanic flight from Paradis to Marley, he had refused. Paradis was no longer a place Erwin wanted to be. It was too loud. There were too many memories, too much pain each mile of land had wrought. Perhaps it was time for him to move his life somewhere else and to see what the world had to offer. It was, after all, what his father would have done.
On his trips back to Paradise, as he visited Mikasa, he visited his father and mother’s graves. He would also go to each of the memorial sites which honored the Survey Corps. Of course, many of the graves were empty. But seeing something there, with the names of as many of his friends and comrades as could fit etched into stone, Erwin felt their presence and their strength. He would spend time sitting there and speaking to them. Erwin never asked if they were proud of him. In his heart, he knew they were. It alleviated the guilt he felt. Some days, the burden was easier to manage. When he spoke to the memorials and touched the stone, it was as if Erwin could feel the presence of the departed gathered around him in comfort. He still remembered their names and their faces. He vowed to never forget and to carry them with him whether in Paradise or at home, in Marley.
It was a routine which helped lift his heart out of the darkest of times. Being away from home, even for a month at a time, was difficult in the beginning. The adjustment to living in Marley was hard in the first months. Finding housing accessible for Levi had proved to be difficult at first but Onyankopon had graciously assisted them every step of the way in making their home accessible for Levi’s wheelchair. The teashop, too, had been built to be accessible for those with mobility needs. Erwin recalled the first time they had seen the shop with its adjustments. Levi’s eyes had brightened for the first time in quite some months.
The adjustment hadn’t entirely been easy for Levi either. His new mobility needs had taken some getting used to. Levi, who had always been quick and light on his feet, had to come to terms with his new reality. But it didn’t mean he didn’t now thrive. Having the teashop kept him busy and always moving. Gabi and Falco had also proven to keep him occupied. Their families had been displaced for some months but, once coming back into contact with Levi, had moved just a ten minutes’ walk from where Erwin and Levi were residing.
The five of them formed quite the little group; Onyankopon, Gabi, Falco, Erwin and Levi, respectively. In the midst of the rebuilding and forming this new life in Marley, Gabi and Falco had taken to spending time caring for Levi. It had been gradual and started with the two men inviting the children over for tea. Then came the questions about how Levi could go about the day, especially when Erwin had to go to Paradis the first time. Since then, the two teenagers had joined his and Levi’s odd little family.
Erwin smiled as he thought of them. He had, indeed, grown to consider Gabi and Falco as family. He had given quite paternal advice on many occasions; especially when Falco had admitted he didn’t know how to ask Gabi on a proper date. Their date had been, conveniently, at the tea shop. Levi had to make sure he and Erwin had stayed scarce while the teenagers had their date and the two men had been understated, yet supportive when the teenagers had begun to see one another. And on the nights where they had chosen to stay with Erwin and Levi, they’d slept over in a spare room neither adult had any idea what to do with.
His blue eyes went, again, to the ring on his finger. It had been a year and a half ago that he and Levi had a simple exchanging of vows. They hadn’t needed to make a fuss of it. Both of them hadn’t ever thought they would get this far; not even when they had gotten together in the months after Erwin had been given the Titan serum. Everything had felt as if it was on a time limit. Why, they had thought then, would they vow to remain with one another until death when death had been growing closer and closer by the minute?
But, when Levi had brought up the topic after closing the shop, Erwin saw this commitment as more concrete. They had no time limit any longer. There were no more battles to fight, unless one could consider breaking up teenage squabbles and dealing with ornery customers a battle.
Of course, they hadn’t told anyone until the day after when Falco had noticed the ring on Levi’s right ring finger. They’d ended up getting an earful from both teenagers which then devolved into joyous congratulations and insistences they all celebrate. Onyankopon had bought them a fine bottle of liquor in congratulations and they’d celebrated with Gabi and Falco’s families. At the end of the night, when all had calmed down, Erwin had felt grateful they had chosen to celebrate with their new family after all.
The metal of the ring pressed against his lips. Erwin pressed his palm against his chest as the plane began to descend toward the runway. Soon he would see his family. He’d told them in a letter when he would be returning.
Erwin gazed at the sky again and smiled. It was a lovely day for a reunion.
“Idiot, where’s my hat? It’s hot out and the sun is going to burn my face!”
Levi’s attention was taken from his newspaper as he heard Gabi stomping down the hall toward where he was. His brow raised and he called, “I hope you’re not talking to me.”
Gabi’s head poked into the room, her long hair draped down like a curtain as she tilted her head and huffed, blowing a raspberry out of frustration. “No. I’m talking to Falco who needs to stop touching my things and moving them around!” She turned her head toward the guest bedroom. “Not yours, don’t touch!”
Falco entered as if on cue, holding the hat. He exclaimed, “I had it right in the closet for you!”
“But why would you put it there when I asked you to not touch it?”
“You said you didn’t know if you wanted to wear it!”
“Before my shoulders got burned yesterday and now they hurt!” She snatched the hat from him and squinted. “Asshole.”
“Enough,” Levi instructed, putting the paper on his lap. “We’re going to be late. Erwin’s plane gets in soon and Onyankopon is probably waiting.”
Both teenagers straightened up and nodded. “Right. Sorry, Levi,” Falco excused, going to kick up the stops on Levi’s wheelchair. “Do you need anything else?”
“No. I should be fine with the sun.” Levi smoothed the front of his suit, hating the slight wrinkles it made. But he couldn’t help it; it was how he was sitting and that couldn’t exactly change. “Let’s go. Before Erwin thinks we forgot about him and throws a fit.”
“Will he really? He doesn’t seem like he would,” Falco queried.
Levi’s head shook. “Let’s just go.” His good eye scanned over to Gabi, who was making sure her hat fit on her head. “Looks fine. Come on before I shit myself.”
Gabi’s nose wrinkled and she rolled her eyes as she went to the door, keeping it open so Falco could wheel Levi to the street. She locked the door and handed Levi the key, which he put in his inner coat pocket.
Sure enough, Onyankopon was waiting for them with briefcase in hand. He was looking at a pocket watch and put it away when he heard the trio come out. “We’re right on time.”
“Good.” Levi’s hands rested on the newspaper. “Nice suit, by the way. Like the hat.”
Onyankopon tilted the hat and flashed a winning smile. “Got it from the new tailor shop in the town center. They’re pretty reasonably priced.”
“Reminds me I need to go to the tailor,” Levi remarked. “Right, let’s go.”
Onyankopon strode ahead of them as Falco and Gabi seemed to take their time, getting distracted by the beautiful day. Levi didn’t blame them. It was rather sunny but the breeze coming off the coast offered relief from any humidity. Even still, with the sun beating down on them and the darkness of his suit, Levi understood why Gabi would want to wear a hat.
The town square wasn’t too busy but it was certainly lively. People were going to and from work, selling their wares, and there was even the sound of children laughing and chasing one another. If he’d been asked three years ago, when the Scouts were laying waste to Liberio, if he would ever step foot in this country again, Levi would have called the person a moron. It felt like whiplash to think of what this area had looked like even just two years prior. His good eye caught sight of the children running around. They barely looked over the age of four. Levi spared a moment to think of how lucky they were to not have known what the world was like before they were born. The innocence of children was certainly something to envy.
With his thumb, he rubbed the outside of his ring before he went to his newspaper. Erwin had been gone his standard month and now he would be coming home. It would be good to have him back. There was only so much handling of Gabi, Falco, and the tea shop without Erwin’s steady presence.
Life in Marley was much quieter and much more different than Paradis. Levi didn’t miss it. There was too much pain in Paradis and too many reminders of those he’d lost to stay. When the topic had been broached, he’d insisted to Erwin they stay. Levi hadn’t even been back to visit. He’d seen the kids--Jean, Connie, Reiner, Annie, and even Pieck—but only when they were in Marley for visits or on their diplomatic stints. They were all a bit older, now, and Levi had never failed to let them know it despite Erwin’s insistences he stop teasing them for something they couldn’t control. At least the benefit of the wheelchair, besides mobility, was a clear excuse for not being taller than them.
After all that hell had come this peace. Levi hadn’t believed it, even when Eren had spoken to him in the Paths. He hadn’t said anything to Eren; only let the boy make his excuses and try to justify himself. But when he’d mentioned Erwin and that the decision, though only somewhat organized by Eren, had been entirely his own and had been the right one, he’d felt the need to react. When he’d woken up in the midst of the steam, his eyes had been wet with the memory of the conversation.
He had made the right choice.
The sight of Erwin meeting him through the steam, alive, had fundamentally altered Levi. Their hell was over. All of the fighting, the death, the agony and sorrow, was over. And now they didn’t have a time limit. That had been something Eren had told him just as he’d let Levi out of the paths. Even now, Levi remembered the pained smile on Eren’s face as he’d told his captain.
He’s free, Captain Levi. You are free. You both have what I can’t have. Forever.
Eren’s words had echoed in his head since that day. At night when it was difficult to sleep, in the midst of the work day when Erwin was making sure everything was taken care of, when they had dinner alone in their house, and when they made it to bed at the end of the day. Back then, there had been a limit to these moments. Levi had felt them all with a grain of salt and a grain of guilt; he had given Erwin back life but he’d also limited the time they had together. Now, that limit did not exist. Levi could close his eye at night and know that he would have many more mornings with Erwin to come; more tea shared, more opportunities to bitch at him for not doing a proper job cleaning the house. He had forever to teach Erwin how to clean exactly to his standards, a fact that Erwin mumbled he wished he had a limit to.
Levi opened the pages of the newspaper and resumed reading, looking over announcements of new properties being built further into the continent as well as international news about the representatives from Paradis. Eldia, really, but Levi would always call his former home by the name he’d known it.
He knew he should probably join Erwin one of these days on his trips to Paradis. Apparently the planes could be quite accessible. But even still, Levi resisted. There were too many ghosts he’d left on Paradis. Farlan, Isabel, his squad, Kenny, Armin, Hanji, his mother; all of them haunted him. Would the ghosts even forgive him for leaving? Would they call him a coward for leaving?
He closed his eye as he tried to quell the eternal questioning. A deep breath later and the internal fretting was gone. He and Erwin had gone over this exact conversation too many times to count. Some days it was easy to believe they were all proud of him. Others, it was too heavy to bear and to think about.
That place had been a hell hole; a rotting field of shit and blood and piss which held nothing but memories Levi wanted to be away from. He already carried all of those ghosts with him. He didn’t need to be reminded of it every day by looking at the fields and forests where his comrades and friends had given their lives in pursuit of a future he now lived in.
Especially in Paradis, where the Jaegerists weren’t exactly calling him and Erwin back. Historia had, according to Erwin in the start of his trips overseas, asked for them to come back to serve on her council. Levi had told Erwin no right as the topic was broached and was satisfied to hear that Erwin had agreed with him. Their home was here in Marley and it was where Levi wanted to stay. It was quiet, peaceful. His soul felt at ease here.
Levi turned the page and focused on a new article. The gentle bumping of the wheels over the road calmed his eager mind. He was ready to see Erwin. He’d missed him.
The sound of the plane overhead grabbed his attention. Levi glanced up and heard Gabi pointing it out, excitedly suggesting it was Erwin’s plane.
For a brief moment, he heard Hanji’s voice. They’d been absolutely enraptured by the technological advances made over the years, especially with the plane.
Onyakopon turned his head and looked at Levi. Both of them shared a fond, reflective look. Hanji would have been thrilled to know that Erwin was traveling by plane. Levi spared a thought for them and kept their memory in his heart. With Onyankopon’s sympathetic look, he felt the burden a bit easier to carry.
Gabi began to move faster, increasing the speed of the wheelchair. Levi’s fist closed as tightly as it could over the newspaper and he turned his torso to swat at her arm. “Easy,” he scolded. “Pay attention.”
She wrinkled her nose at Levi and placed a hand on the back of the chair. Falco took over, insisting, “I’ve got it. We’ll be there in a little.”
Levi looked up as the descending plane began to disappear over the buildings toward the airfield and runways. The half of his heart was coming home.
When they arrived at the airfield, they stood at the other end of the runway where departing passengers would come to meet loved ones or find transportation into the country. Levi was fanning himself with the newspaper and keeping a patient eye out for Erwin. Gabi, too, was fanning herself with her own hat and chatting with Onyankopon about how well she was doing in the shop. Her talkative nature ensured that Gabi was good with greeting customers and explaining the menu. Onyankopon listened with genuine interest and discussed his own business with the transportation department. They were rebuilding the railway system and making it more efficient with plans to reestablish intercontinental travel with other countries. There was just the need of permits and legal meetings to contend with.
Gabi’s long hair whipped as she turned her head, trying to squint and peer over at the disembarking plane. “When do you think he’ll come over?”
“The same way he always does,” remarked Levi. “Irritatingly slow because the passport control will want to talk to him about his visit to Paradis.” Not that he could blame them; news out of Paradis was still of great concern to people all over the world. But Levi was impatient and wanted today to be the day where Erwin wasn’t given a hard time. His arms folded across his chest, the newspaper left to wedge between his thigh and the side of the chair. His ring finger tapped against his arm as he waited and kept his eye out for the sight of Erwin.
When Erwin came into sight, Falco exclaimed and began waving his hand excitedly. Levi watched the boy’s excitement at seeing Erwin. Falco and Erwin had grown particularly close with the young man wanting to hear everything Erwin had to say about practically anything. Levi had noticed it one day when the two had settled in the sitting room and were deep in conversation about something the darker haired male couldn’t quite recall. Soon enough, Erwin had been the one Falco went to for advice and for knowledge. It suited Levi fine; Erwin was more qualified and patient to answer Falco’s endless questions anyway.
Erwin was wearing a white shirt and grey trousers. A grey jacket was resting over his arm and he carried a suitcase with him. His bolo tie still hung, as ever, around his neck. He looked well; he looked happy.
Lifting a hand in greeting, Erwin waved and smiled at the group waiting to greet him. “I didn’t know a committee was welcoming me home,” he called as he came over.
Falco stepped from the wheelchair and excitedly went to embrace Erwin, beaming brightly. “Welcome back!”
Erwin patted the boy’s back and returned the smile. “You got taller, didn’t you?”
“Inch and a half,” Falco stated proudly.
“Good for you.” Erwin looked next at Onyankopon and went to shake his hand, patting his back. “You didn’t have work?”
“We have a meeting in an hour. Thought I’d come say hello.” Onyankopon grinned and patted Erwin’s shoulder. “Good to have you back, Erwin.”
“Nice hat,” Erwin commented, earning a tip from the complimented man. Next, he looked at Gabi. “Gabi, hi.”
Gabi smiled and placed her hat back on her head, stepping over to hug Erwin as well. “How was your flight?”
“Good, thank you. You look very beautiful. How’s your mother?”
“She’s good! Dad, too.”
“Good, glad to hear it.” Erwin patted her cheek, earning a pleased nose scrunch from Gabi. Her eyes shone brightly, rivaling the sun.
Finally, Erwin looked down at Levi. His arms still folded, Levi nodded, his tone betraying how pleased and happy he was. “Erwin.”
“Levi.” The taller man stooped down, hands braced on the armchairs of the wheelchair, and pressed a kiss to his husband’s mouth. Levi’s right hand came up to the side of Erwin’s neck. “Welcome home,” came the darker haired man’s warm voice.
“Good to be home.” Erwin smiled at him and stood up, taking hold of the wheelchair. “Well, let’s go. I’m starving.”
Onyankopon walked with them back to the town center before excusing himself to go to work. He patted Erwin’s shoulder and shook Levi’s hand then said goodbye to the kids before leaving, promising to come to the teashop tomorrow for lunch.
The four went back to Levi and Erwin’s house. Erwin put his bag and jacket on the bed before coming back out to the sitting room. Gabi was telling Levi how she and Falco were going to visit her aunt. Reiner had left for Paradis the day before and they were going to spend the afternoon with her before doing dinner with Falco’s parents.
“Do you and Erwin need anything before we go,” Gabi asked, holding the brim of her hat in her hands.
Levi shook his head. “Just make sure you’re on time tomorrow. You’re opening, remember.”
“Got it. Do you need me to have the key?”
Levi considered it. “Probably wise. It’s in my desk, in the study.”
Gabi left the room and walked to the study which held Erwin and Levi’s desks. She found the key and brought it to show Levi. Levi nodded. “I may come in a little late,” he explained. “You know how to prep. Please don’t burn down the building.”
“That’s not me you have to worry about. But fine.” Gabi leaned down, bringing an arm around Levi’s neck in a partial embrace. Levi patted her back in response, leaning slightly into the hug. Gabi pulled back and smiled. “See you tomorrow!”
Levi nodded. “See you.”
Gabi leaned into the hall and yelled for Falco, causing both Erwin and Levi to wince at the volume. “Do not make me deaf, too,” Levi warned, earning a laugh from Erwin.
Falco came out of the guest bedroom and nodded at Gabi. “Ready?”
“Ready.” The brown-haired girl went to Erwin and hugged him too. “I’m happy you’re back. See you tomorrow?”
“Thank you, Gabi. Yes, you’ll see me.” Erwin added, “Send your parents and aunt our best.”
“Will do.” Gabi grasped Falco’s hand, not giving him a chance to say goodbye like she did before dragging him toward the door. Flustered, Falco waved his hand and yelped a goodbye before shutting the door behind them.
Erwin exchanged a look with Levi, chuckling. “How was a month filled with that?”
“You’d think it gets easier as they get older.” Levi’s head shook. “But it only gets more annoying. Brats.”
“You’re fond of them.” Erwin sat on the couch next to Levi. He took Levi’s left hand and squeezed it.
Levi only responded with the rolling of his eye. He opened his hand and locked his fingers with Erwin’s. “How was it?”
A sigh left Erwin’s mouth. “Mikasa’s well,” he informed. “We visited the spot, paid our respects. She’s been spending time with Jean and Connie.”
“Has she?” Levi’s thumb moved across Erwin’s knuckle. “And the queen?”
“Her daughter’s birthday is today. Three years old.”
Levi exhaled. “Shit, three.”
Erwin nodded. “She looks exactly like her. Her eyes are her father’s.”
“The farmer’s? Never met him. Sounds like a twat.”
The blond haired man ignored the jab at the person Levi had never met. “She asked about you and the shop. Said that she was going to send a letter, soon. The orphanage is going well.”
Levi nodded at all the information. “Is it still intense over there?”
“Hizuru has an embassy, now. It’s all defended.” Erwin exhaled. “It’s basically a military state.”
“Tch,” responded Levi, frowning. “Not that it wasn’t before, but I don’t like the idea of those Jaegerist fucks parading themselves everywhere. Bet they throw themselves fucking parades.”
He paused, gaging Erwin’s expression for a response. Levi tsked again. “Shit.”
“I made myself scarce around them. Mikasa’s home is far from the capital. In Shiganshina. It’s nice, actually; very simple. She has a garden and cuts her own wood.”
“Sounds quaint.” Levi cleared his throat. “Mind putting the kettle on.”
Erwin nodded and got up, letting go of Levi’s hand to go to the kitchen. He put on the kettle and prepared the tea bags. He called to Levi, “The shop closed today?”
“Obviously,” replied Levi. “Didn’t feel like opening late.”
“You don’t have to lose a day of business because of me.”
“Not because of you.” Levi rubbed at his leg. “I needed a break. Those kids are running me into the ground.”
The water boiled rather quickly, thankfully. Erwin poured the water into the cups and put the appropriate additives on a tray; milk and sugar. He brought the tray out and placed it on the table. “Well, don’t blame them because you’re an old man now.”
“Call me old and you’ll be sleeping in the office for a week,” warned Levi. He reached forward to take his cup, blowing over the rim before taking a sip. He nodded at Erwin. “Not terrible. You can have a roof over your head tonight.”
Erwin hummed and picked up his own cup, drinking from it slowly thanks to the milk cooling it down. He added a bit of sugar and mixed it in. “Already home and you’re threatening me with a bad night’s sleep.”
“Well you called me old, old man.” Levi blew over the rim again before he drank. Resting the cup on the small saucer in his lap, he reclined his back against the chair. The two men settled into comfortable silence as they drank their tea. There was light activity on their street, but otherwise all was quiet. It was why they had picked that location, besides the ideal structure for the renovations they needed to make; it was quiet. What both of them needed was quiet.
The former commander placed his cup on the tray and turned his attention back to his husband. His eyes traveled along the scars which marked his face and on the clouded eye. Finally, he rested his sight on the ring on Levi’s finger and smiled. “Wonder what they would have thought,” Erwin said. “About us getting married.”
“You said you talked to them,” pointed out Levi after he finished a mouthful of tea. “Told them what your plan was as if you were seeking the permission of a ghost. Ridiculous.”
Erwin didn’t take it to heart. He never did. It was just how Levi was. “I did.”
“And that was almost two years ago. Why’re you wondering about it now?”
Shrugging, Erwin kept his eyes on Levi’s ring. “Sometimes I do. I think.”
Scoffing, Levi responded, “You do too much of that, sometimes.” He put his cup and saucer back on the tray then gave Erwin his full attention. Despite his words, Levi’s expression was not filled with ridicule or disapproval. “Did you go speak to them?”
“I paid my visits, like I always do.” Erwin folded his hands in his lap. “I was thinking, seeing Historia’s daughter and husband, how they would have reacted. Hanji.”
He noticed Levi’s expression falter only a fraction. Hanji had been closest to them both. They had been quite the trio. Their death had affected them both greatly. Sometimes, if Erwin permitted his thoughts to wander down the path, he could almost hear Hanji’s voice in response to his own thoughts and queries. It was as if they were standing right near him. But when he turned his head, they weren’t there.
“They would have made a big deal of it,” Levi replied, his own voice now taking on a thoughtful tone of its own. “Insisted we have an actual ceremony instead of something with just the two of us. Don’t understand why it has to be such a big to do.” He grumbled at the end.
“They liked celebrating,” Erwin reminded him. “But they would have respected our wishes.” A moment to smile, to dream. “They would have ordered a flagon of wine, though. Insisted you get drunk for once in your life.”
Levi scoffed, shaking his head. “Tried that, can’t do it.”
“But even still,” pointed out Erwin, “they would have wanted to celebrate.”
He observed Levi’s gaze drop to his lap. The man’s head nodded up and down as he digested and dwelled on the thought more and more. “Yeah,” he agreed finally. “They would have.”
The silence was filled with remembrance and consideration for their fallen friend. A hard part of living on after a loved one had died was the gaping hole in special occasions. Erwin hadn’t realized, until this last trip to Paradis, how much he missed all of them and how he wished they were all here to see this beautiful future and freedom.
His eyes closed. He could sense them here standing around them. Mike, Hanji, Levi’s squad, Armin, even Eren. All of them carried within his and Levi’s hearts.
You both have forever. Treasure it.
Erwin’s blue eyes opened at the internal voice. It was gentle, at peace and reaffirming. It encouraged him to find the strength within himself to carry on.
He found Levi again, noticing how his head was still bowed. He extended his hand to his husband’s lap, resting it there. Levi turned his head and met Erwin’s gaze. His lips twitched into a bereaved smile. “All of them,” he quietly remarked as he covered Erwin’s hand with his own. “could have had this.”
“Yes,” agreed Erwin, “they could have.” His lungs filled with air then expelled it in a slow exhale. “And here we remain.”
Levi echoed the sentiment of his husband. “Here we remain.”
The silence fell between them again. The tea was forgotten. When it grew cold, Erwin brought the tray into the kitchen and cleaned up. He heard Levi rolling to the bathroom and decided to tidy up the sitting room in the meantime. Then he went to his room to unpack his clothes, sorting them into the basket for laundry. He hung up his jacket then changed into something much more comfortable. He didn’t much feel like going out to a restaurant for dinner tonight. All Erwin wanted to do was enjoy being home.
After setting his shoes aside, he laid his back on the bed and groaned. His hands pushed over his face and through his hair. He’d desperately missed their bed. Erwin’s head looked up at the ceiling and he allowed the feeling of being home to settle over him.
Levi’s wheelchair moved into the room. Erwin lifted his head then sat up as the darker haired man was holding onto the cane which leaned against the wall. Levi only used it sparingly. His mobility had been compromised by his injuries and it was better if he used the cane for shorter distances. Sometimes they brought it out with them but it was much easier to use the wheelchair when they were out of the house. He observed Levi taking the steps over to sit on the bed beside him, leaning the cane against the wall by his side of the bed. Erwin folded his hands over his abdomen as he watched his husband shift closer. “I’ll do laundry tomorrow,” Erwin stated. “Clean up while you’re at work.”
Levi nodded in understanding. “I’ll be checking. All of it.”
“If you didn’t, I think hell would freeze over,” pointed out Erwin.
The former captain hummed to show his amusement. The scarred corner of his lips lifted upward, mirroring Erwin’s own expression. “Glad you’re home.”
“Good to be home,” responded the blond.
Levi’s injured hand touched Erwin’s cheek as he kissed him softly. Erwin’s hand went to Levi’s waist in response. There was only so much leaning they could both do comfortably so they broke the kiss if only so Levi could lay his back down on the mattress. He kept his hand at Erwin’s face and pressed his other hand to the man’s back when he maneuvered on top of him, holding him against his body. Their lips moved together slowly, at first. Even when the kiss deepened and Levi’s legs parted for Erwin to fit between, it remained slow and loving.
Erwin’s hands moved to Levi’s hips while his mouth trailed from the man’s lips to his neck. Levi’s eyes slipped closed and he tilted his head back against the pillow to permit his husband to kiss his neck. Levi could feel a fluttering in his lower stomach and groin as Erwin’s lips and teeth found the spots of his neck which were pleasurably sensitive. His head turned to the side so those spots could be more easily accessed, letting a groan of pleasure escape his lips to show his approval.
In response, Erwin’s hands moved up under Levi’s shirt and over his abdomen. He could feel Levi’s body shuddering beneath him at the touch of his hands. It was as if he could feel Levi’s body alight and awash with pleasure and excitement. It encouraged Erwin to move the shirt up above Levi’s sternum. He would certainly remove it entirely but his brain had the idea and kiss a line down the skin to Levi’s stomach where he knew his husband was particularly sensitive. Like he thought, he heard the desired moan and curse from Levi’s mouth. Even more encouraging was the hand and fingers tangling in his hair. The fingers tugged sharply, stopping Erwin where he was by Levi’s waistband. He lifted his eyes to see Levi’s flushed face.
“Take off my fucking shirt, first,” he ordered, his composure caught in his throat.
The order caused Erwin’s eyes to flash. “Yes, sir.”
Off came Levi’s shirt. Off came Erwin’s shirt. Levi’s fingers raked against his bare skin, leaving marks though his nails were blunt. Erwin’s mouth crashed against Levi’s again as their hands touched and tugged at one another. Trousers were removed and hands fumbled into drawers for lubricant. Hands touched intimate places to prepare as well as to increase pleasure and friction. Moans filled the air and, in an instant, Erwin was on his back. His eyes locked on the sight of his husband on top of him, his head leaned back in pleasure as they became one. Erwin needn’t worry about taking care of Levi in the moment; he had plans for him immediately after this.
It was remarkable how, even after all this time of being together, the passion hadn’t cooled. Levi’s ability to control the situation and make it pleasurable for both never ceased to awe Erwin. It was the way in which he took control; how he controlled the speed of his hips, how he made Erwin plead for him to speed up and only gave in when he deemed fit. How the words groaned into the blond’s ear sent him over the edge. Erwin’s hips met Levi’s in desperate thrusts as he neared his orgasm, finally reaching his peak and stuttering as he released.
Luckily for Levi, Erwin was more than generous. He had stamina and a month of absence to make more than his heart grown fond for the other. Much as he’d done before, his mouth went back to Levi’s neck and made its way down to his stomach. Except this time, his mouth went lower.
Levi’s hands in his hair encouraged him to attend to the task at hand. He worked his mouth and tongue in ways that made Levi’s words become incoherent. The sharp tugs and pain only motivated Erwin rather than detracted him. His hands pinned Levi’s hips down to raise the stakes, which drove Levi over the edge. Erwin’s mouth was certainly just as skilled with delivering pleasure as it was for delivering speeches. Obedient and generous as always, when Levi reached orgasm, Erwin swallowed it down.
He pulled his head back, the side of his pinky wiping his mouth. Levi’s chest was heaving and his eyes were half-open. “Fucking mad man,” came the almost growled words from his husband.
It brought a smirk to Erwin’s face. He got out of bed and went to the adjacent bathroom, finding a wash towel and wetting it. He washed his mouth out while he was in the room then returned, climbing back into bed and attending to his husband. With careful hands, he cleaned Levi’s body.
Levi’s eye watched him the whole time, never losing sight of him. As Erwin went to clean the cloth, he pulled out the covers and settled beneath them. Levi’s head leaned on the pillow as Erwin came back in and got into bed beside him. Their arms surrounded one another immediately, seeking the affirmation and grounding the feelings of one another’s body brought. Erwin laid on his stomach with part of his body against Levi’s. His head was against the man’s shoulder and his arm secure around his torso. His eyes, though clouded with bliss and post-coital coziness, kept watch over Levi’s face. Levi rested one hand on his husband’s shoulder and the other found his hair, twisting through the dampened strands.
He smiled down at Erwin and bent his head so his mouth went against his hairline. Erwin’s eyes closed and he swallowed a deep breath which could have been mistaken for a yawn.
“Tired, old man?” Asked Levi, his voice quiet. His fingers tapped the back of Erwin’s head. “You just got home. You’re not allowed to fall asleep on me yet.”
“No?” Erwin’s eyes opened. “It was a long flight.”
“Doesn’t matter. We’ve still got the rest of the day. Can’t be sleeping on me.”
Erwin pointed out, “The shop is closed. You’re going in late tomorrow. Suffice to say I can sleep on you. I’m your only commitment.”
Mockingly, Levi’s eye rolled. “What a commitment,” he huffed.
Erwin’s eyes shone. “You made it.”
“A choice I suppose I shouldn’t regret.” Levi’s monotone jokes gave way to a softness reserved for moments like this. The hand in Erwin’s hair moved to caressing his cheek. He found his heart aching in the best of ways. Before, it had only ached and cried in pain. Now, it only cried out of love; the purest love he’d ever felt in his life.
Leaning in, Levi kissed Erwin on the mouth. He could feel a distinct burning behind his eyes. It took a great deal to keep it at bay. His eyes remained closed as he whispered against Erwin’s mouth, “I love you.”
When he did open his eyes, he saw Erwin gazing at him. It was akin to a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time. It reminded Levi of that time, all those years ago, when he’d been soaring high above Erwin during his first training for the Survey Corps. Even then, Erwin’s awe and honesty had struck him. Never had he dreamed, back then, that this man would become his heart and soul; that he would kill, save humanity, and find peace for him. It didn’t help the tears which were burning his eyes.
Erwin’s voice, normally strong and firm, was quiet and considerate. “And I love you.”
Their mouths met again. Levi let the words echo and etch themselves into his being. Finally, after all a lifetime of suffering and agony, he had someone to hold onto and to quell the storm in his heart. Now, they two who remained could rest in one another’s arms forever.