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Hero was over Mari and Sunny’s house quite often, but it became harder for him to justify being over there so many hours a day once Sunny’s arm had healed. It might have been his guilty conscience speaking, but he somehow felt like his parents and Kel knew what he had been doing. Deciding to “lay low” for a bit, he stayed in his own house more often, studying in his room or helping his mother with chores.
That also forced him to be around Kel, though, and that was a problem all on its own. Kel was happier that Hero was around, it seemed. That only made him more clingy, more needy—he always wanted Hero to play basketball with him, or arm wrestle him, or race him to the corner of the street. Hero still loved his brother, of course, but it was getting harder to deal with him being around all the time. He felt guilty, he felt like a bad brother.
Especially with his recent feelings. His eyes would wander towards his younger brother’s midriff. Hero wondered if anyone caught him averting his eyes whenever his brother looked back at him. Did they notice? Did they think he was perverted for looking at his brother? Ever since the incident, he feels like he painted a target on his back. Yet, he couldn’t stop. He loved his brother, would his brother forgive him? His mind was riddled with anxiety ever since but he can’t get enough.
Although avoiding Kel would have solved his problems completely, it was difficult for him to turn his little brother down, let alone ignore him. It was even harder when they shared a room, of course; when Kel wasn’t playing outside, he was most definitely in their room.
Hero had come in from a trip to the store for their mother, and Kel had been nowhere to be seen. So, as Hero climbed the stairs, he prepared himself to face Kel. He tried to fix his eyes forward, keep his gaze off of Kel’s body, keep his mind off of it. But when he entered, he didn’t see his energetic little brother waiting to tease him and play with him. He saw Kel, holding a piece of paper in his hand, tears rolling down his cheeks.
(Hero pointedly told himself not to notice how cute he looked when he was crying.)
“Kel? What’s wrong?”
Kel hadn’t noticed Hero up until then; he jumped and started to wipe the tears off of his face, frowning. “Nothing! Wh-what’s wrong with you ?”
“C’mon, Kel, I saw you crying.”
“I wasn’t! I yawned, that’s all...”
It was clearly more than a yawn. Kel’s cheeks were red, and the paper in his hand was wrinkled and bent from being squeezed. Suddenly forgetting how guilty he had felt just moments before, Hero went to sit next to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder. Kel didn’t pull away, but didn’t look up at Hero, either. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that paper in your hand.”
“It’s nothing. I’m not even crying, Hero, jeez! Just leave me alone for a sec...”
Kel tried to move away when Hero reached for the paper, but it was well-proven by then that Hero was much stronger. Hero pulled the paper out of Kel’s hands and managed not to tear it. Kel whined and tried to grab it but Hero, being taller, lifted the paper up to read it. His eyes scanned over the fancy font. A small signature of the principal with words congratulating Kel. Hero made a confused noise and faced him.
“This is amazing, Kel! Why are you upset? You’re on the honour roll.” Hero laughed and patted his brother on the head. Pride filled his chest as he tried to smooth out the paper. Kel didn’t fight him but he was still oddly quiet. Hero wrapped one arm around Kel’s shoulder, “What’s wrong? Did something happen at school?”
Kel shook his head. He refused to speak and Hero sighed but rubbed his arms. They stood in quiet silence as his brother gathered the courage to speak. "I got honour roll, sure, but...you've gotten honour roll every quarter, and this is the first time I've gotten it all year. Mom and Dad aren't even gonna care."
That hit Hero like a knife in the chest. Hero knew he was often seen as the "golden boy", constantly pleasing his parents with what seemed to be little effort, but he didn't know Kel was so torn up about it. In fact, Kel was often congratulating Hero for his accomplishments along with their parents. When he really thought about it, though, that only made Hero feel worse. Kel was smiling and pretending it didn't hurt that their parents paid his older brother more attention...
And Hero hadn't noticed at all.
He couldn't help thinking about Mari, who was so in tune with Sunny's feelings. She seemed to always take care of him, always knowing what he needed. Hero was an awful brother in comparison, especially considering the thoughts he'd been having...
Well, he wouldn't let it happen any longer. Trying his hardest to seem sincere—because he meant it, from the bottom of his heart—he said, "Well, Kel, I'm proud of you. I care!"
“I know you do,” Kel said, but his eyes were still downcast. “But Mom and Dad still won’t...”
Hero didn’t know what to say to that. Even if he confronted their parents about not paying Kel enough attention, that still wouldn’t solve the problem; they’d either ignore him and Kel would feel even worse, or Hero would further cement his position as the favorite son by being oh-so considerate of his little brother. It might’ve been best to not involve their parents at all, he decided.
After all, you can cheer Kel up on your own, can’t you?
Mari’s words echoed through his head and he thought about how caring she was with Sunny. Hero can imagine her hands wrapping around Kel in a hug, whispering how proud she was of him with that gentle smile of hers. Before, he was extremely physical with Kel but after the incident at Mari’s place, he had a hard time touching Kel. This was the first hug they had in weeks and Hero felt guilty.
He felt even more guilty when he knew his parents would give half-hearted compliments, they had encouraged him to get better grades but they never pushed Kel to work hard. Hero knows they mean well but Hero wonders if it will ever be enough to satisfy Kel. His little brother beaming at the slightest of praise. It was only then that Hero realized that most of that praise had been coming from him.
Part of him knew he was lying to himself, justifying what he was about to do by saying that Kel needed it. But the last thing Hero wanted was for Kel to feel alone or unloved, and Mari had shown him a new way to value a little brother. That was something Hero really wanted to know: did Sunny feel loved or appreciated when Mari touched him? He never resisted her, he stuck to her like glue whenever she was around. Had Mari been right the whole time?
Hero pulled away, wanting to look at Kel’s face as he spoke. He still kept his hands firm on Kel’s shoulders, gently circling his thumbs around the smaller boy’s shoulder blades. “Kel, I don’t want to ignore your feelings and tell you that Mom and Dad do love you. I mean, I know they do, but...I know they haven’t been treating you fairly, either. And I know that me doing this—I-I mean, saying this won’t change how much that hurts, but I really do love you, Kel. And I’m so proud of you. You’re the best little brother a guy could ask for! And if you’re fine with it, I’d like to show you...how much I mean it.”
Hero was hoping Kel would pick up on what he was saying, just so he didn’t have to go through the torture of saying it himself. But Kel looked up at him with confused, innocent eyes. “Show me? How?”
“Well, um...there’s certain things that people can do to make other people feel good,” Hero said, his voice unsteady. There was an unsettling feeling in his stomach. Was it guilt? Excitement? Arousal? Hero couldn’t tell what he was feeling. Kel’s cute face—was it wrong for him to call him cute, now?—made him all mixed up inside. “You shouldn’t do this with anyone else, but—”
“Y-you mean like, sex?”
Kel’s cheeks were red, but he still looked relatively calm considering what he had just asked. Hero was shocked. Sunny seemed to be so clueless and innocent, as if he had no idea what Mari was doing to him. Kel wasn’t that young, so it wasn’t impossible for him to know what it was, but Hero was still at a loss for words. After he had picked his jaw up from the floor, Hero slowly said, “Yeah. Sorta like that...”
“I didn’t know two guys could do that,” Kel admitted. He quickly backtracked after he saw Hero’s bewildered expression. “I mean, I don’t really know much at all? Seriously. Just what I’ve heard at school.”
Had Sunny heard it too, then...? Agh. I need to stop thinking about him so much. “It might be a little different from what you’ve heard, then. Two guys can do it, Kel.”
“Is it really alright, though? Since we’re brothers, and all...”
“Even more reason for us to do it, right?” Hero hadn’t even realized what he was saying until he’d already said it. Mari had really poisoned his brain, he’d decided, but he still kept talking. “We can keep it between us. I’d never hurt you, and...I just want you to be happy. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Kel was looking at anything but Hero. The rock on his desk, the bedspread, the discarded honour roll certificate on the floor. Hero was ready for rejection—part of him wanted one, just to wash his hands of whatever he was planning to do, but the other was terrified of Kel telling him no.
“If it really feels good, then...sure, I guess? But we probably shouldn’t tell anyone.”
Hero nearly choked on his own breath. Kel was fine with it? He was abnormally bashful, scared even, but Kel was fine with it? He was reminded of Mari, dreamily bragging about how Sunny let her touch him...was it all really that easy?
“I...okay. We won’t tell anyone,” Hero said, trying to sound confident. He couldn’t forget his goal: he wanted to be the comforting, caring big brother. Not the shaking mess trying to figure out how he was going to sleep that night. But, really, he had no idea what to do next. Mari had been telling him what to do, how to touch the small boy in front of him up until then. He said he’d make Kel feel good, but how did he do that...?
The first thing he thought about was Sunny’s mouth. He felt so guilty, thinking about Sunny over and over when he was supposed to be focusing on Kel, but when Hero thought of pleasure, that was the first thing his mind went to. Could he do that sort of thing for Kel? He didn’t know how, but it couldn’t have been that hard, right?
Hero and Kel were both shaking, their thoughts and hearts racing as Hero softly pushed him down. Hero looked at Kel one more time, as if they were confirming that this was really happening. Kel stared back with his brown eyes and weakly grinned, waiting for Hero’s next move as he adjusted himself against the soft bedding. Hero felt horrible for finding his own brother arousing but he couldn’t stop, not when they were this far. He often wondered how Mari could do this, staring down at your younger brother as he looked up at you expectantly, waiting for your next move.
He could almost feel Mari guiding him, her ghostly hands grabbing him once more. His hands played with Kel’s clothes, uncertain fingers gliding over tanned skin. Kel shifted, his face getting redder with every touch. Hero was anxious but he knew he could reward his little brother like no one else. He pulled the hem of Kel’s shorts down and it was tense before Hero smiled at Kel once more, trying to calm both of their nerves.
Kel shifted a bit, helping Hero as he slowly removed the stretchy shorts. Kel looked embarrassed to see Hero gazing at his body. Hero was a lot softer than Kel, he saw years of sports and running around defining Kel’s body. Everything about Kel was toned, his baby fat was only on his cheeks that Hero loved to poke fun at.
He was still his baby brother and Hero knew what was best for him.
The older teen palmed his boxers and Kel whined softly, hiding his embarrassed face into his arms. Hero smiled, long fingers teasing Kel’s waist before he gently kissed Kel’s hidden erection. The boy immediately bucked his hips up, clumsily hitting Hero in the process. The teen laughed, his face flush as he pushed Kel’s hips down.
“Good boys deserve rewards...”
Hero pulled off the remaining fabric, leaving Kel exposed for the world to see and right now, Hero was his world. His easy-going smile and gentle brown eyes were gazing at him of all people. He heard other girls at his school gushing about his brother, how lucky he was to have such an amazing and caring brother. Before, Kel would playfully gag at the thought but now seeing his brother look at him now, it made his chest flutter. He understood now.
Soft hands grabbed onto his thighs and rested them on broad shoulders. Kel had a vague idea of what was happening, he heard whispers and gossips of girls...sucking boy’s dicks. Kel would play dumb when his friends asked if he ever had a blowjob before, bragging about how they recently got a girlfriend. Kel wasn’t interested in getting a girlfriend. The only girl that made his heart flutter was Mari, and he thought Hero thought Kel was the same.
Yet, Hero didn’t choose Mari. He chose Kel.
Even in Hero’s own mind, he somewhat felt guilty, as if he were cheating on Mari or betraying her. Her actions over the past few weeks had made it fairly obvious that this is what she might have wanted, but Hero still couldn’t shake the residual shame. He moved on, once again telling himself that he was doing it for Kel’s sake.
Kel was clearly excited, too, already hard beneath Hero’s fingers. Hero moved further down the bed so that he could get a closer look. He allowed himself one last thought towards Sunny, comparing his size to Kel’s—Hero hadn’t gotten the best look at Sunny’s dick, but Kel’s was certainly bigger. A brief glance at Kel’s face told Hero that he was getting embarrassed at being stared at for so long, though, so Hero curbed his appetite and gently said, “Sorry if I’m not too good at this.”
“You’ve never done it before?”
Oh, God. How could Hero answer that question? He couldn’t lie to his little brother, especially when they were about to do something like this, but he couldn’t exactly tell Kel what he’d been doing. Really, though, Hero hadn’t done exactly this before... “No.”
“Oh. Well, um, good luck!”
Hero laughed. Of course, Kel would say something like that...it gave Hero reason to move forward, knowing that Kel was counting on him. Hero focused his gaze on the task before him. Kel was already hard. Was it because his brother was about to touch him, or because of the anticipation? Kel was usually easy to read, but Hero couldn’t figure him out.
It didn’t matter, Hero decided, and perhaps he was better off not knowing. He told himself to forget about Mari, about Sunny, about right and wrong, and to focus on making his little brother feel better.
So, he did.
He started with a nervous lick, to gauge both the taste and Kel’s reaction. Both were...different from what Hero was expecting. Kel sharply inhaled through his teeth, and Hero recoiled at the salty taste on his tongue. It was Kel’s pre-cum, he was sure—he toyed with the taste of it, then went back for more, that time wrapping his lips around the head of Kel’s cock as well.
“Mm—Hero, that’s, uh...”
Hero thought to pull away and ask what Kel was feeling, if it was okay, but...he didn’t want to pull away, he was realizing. The warmth in his mouth was comforting. Kel was just big enough to fit between his lips easily, just long enough for Hero to ease him down his throat...
Kel whimpered, then clapped his hand over his own mouth; the other hand went to Hero’s hair. It’s okay if you push me down, Hero wanted to say, but what the hell was he thinking? He really wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this...
But it was hard not to enjoy it. Kel was making noises Hero had never heard before, and the feeling of seeing a different side of his little brother was too electrifying to ignore. Hero took Kel’s entire shaft in his mouth, breathing heavily and trying not to gag. To his own surprise, he moaned, and Kel cried out into his hands in response. Kel was grinding into Hero’s mouth, and it caught Hero off-guard—he instinctively brought his hands to Kel’s hips and pinned him to the bed.
“Sorry,” Kel blurted out between his fingers.
Hero finally came up for air, licking his lips. “It’s fine. It’s probably natural to do something like that.”
“H-has anyone ever done this to you before, then, Hero?”
Hero averted his eyes. He thought of Mari, first, then Sunny... “Yeah. Mari has...”
“Guess that makes sense,” Kel mumbled. “You can keep going!”
Kel must have liked it. Hero was happy. Aside from Mari, he’d never really gotten the chance to pleasure someone like this. He liked knowing that he was making Kel feel good, he liked seeing all of the reactions and knowing he had caused them. Would he be able to feel the same thing from Sunny, too, one day? Would he overcome what Mari called irrational fear and touch Sunny for real?
For right then, Hero was definitely satisfied with Kel. He began to move his head rather than just holding Kel in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as he did. Kel grew even louder; holding his hands to his mouth was futile at that point. Their parents were downstairs, frighteningly close to coming within earshot, but Hero didn’t care. He wondered if this was what Mari was talking about, about everything feeling so natural. Had Hero been meant to touch Kel like this all along? Was this what a good brother was supposed to be doing?
He might have forgotten what his original purpose was, after all. He was feeling more pleasure than he should have, he knew that for sure. It was so tempting to reach between his own legs and stroke himself, but then he’d expose his true intentions to Kel. Hero channelled that energy into bobbing his head, sucking, licking, making obscene sounds with his lips and his tongue. Hero couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed, completely focused on the sensation and the taste of Kel in his mouth. It was a heavy feeling, like there was pressure all over his body.
His thighs were squeezing together as he watched Kel squirm. He felt shame rush through him as he palmed his erection, his fingers teasing the tip hiding behind thin fabric. Tanned thighs occasionally squeezed Hero’s head softly, trying to control his quiet yet heavy breathing. Hero’s hair was tickling Kel, he felt overwhelmed. He felt everything touching him, he was hyper aware of everything around him.
His brother was sucking him off and he looked up before pulling away. He looked like a hot mess, his older brother was looking at him with such affection that Kel whined softly. Hero gave an easygoing smile, a familiar smile that gave him so much comfort. However, seeing him depraved and debauched beneath him gave him an image he would remember for years to come.
Kel felt cold until Hero went back to work, his mouth muffling small sounds and Kel knew that he was touching himself. Kel felt guilt at first, he wasn’t providing pleasure to his older brother but this was his reward. For being such a good boy, he was receiving a blowjob. His other friends were right, it felt amazing. He wondered if other people can experience Hero like him, strong hands wrapping around their thighs as he does his best to please them.
That was Hero, a people pleaser, doing his best as he bobbed his head. Hero on his knees as he worshipped his lover’s body. Kel whimpered as Hero’s large hand wrapped around his length, slowly stroking him. His tongue teasing the tip before Kel whimpered loudly.
With an embarrassing squeal, he felt himself shiver as he came on Hero’s face. He felt warm, close to overheating as he bucked his hips up. Hero yelped, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Kel was panting and shivering as the cold air washed over him.
Hero has yet to cum, Kel realized. He wasn’t sure what to do. Kel was nervous, he wasn’t sure what Hero would do. His brother had a sheepish smile, the same thoughts racing through his head.
“May I?” Hero’s voice was coarse, his brown eyes staring at Kel’s own. Kel wasn’t sure what he wanted but he nodded regardless.
He gasped when Hero’s erection rested on his own and whined as Hero wrapped their dicks together. Rough hands stroking them both, using Kel’s cum as lube. Kel’s eyes welled up at the overstimulation. His arms wrapped around Hero’s shoulders, bringing them closer as he whined into Hero’s ear. Hero grunted as he felt his younger brother clinging to him. Kel was wrapped around him, his legs tangling against Hero’s back. He tensed up and moved his hands to grip the sheets instead as pushed back. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, it hurt yet it felt too good.
The teen thrusted against Kel, watching as his own erection overshadowed his brother’s. Kel had tears in his eyes and Hero loved to watch his brother break beneath him. He loved to see his brother squirm beneath him as he palmed their erections together. He looked good at this angle. Hero’s breathing picked up and he moaned as white droplets splashed Kel’s toned stomach.
Hero watched as cum pooled near his chest and stomach. Their laboured breathing filled their room. He felt something wrapping around his chest but Kel’s arms were tangled up in his sheets. He can almost hear Mari praising Hero, praising Kel, for being such good boys as she kissed them.
Mari would be so proud of him.
Hero found himself waiting for the guilt to set in after they were finished, waiting for the nausea and the regret to come to him. He and Kel cleaned up, and then it was time for dinner, and everything was so...normal. He didn’t feel nauseous, he didn’t feel dread, he didn’t feel like someone was watching his every move because they knew what he had done.
Instead, he felt happy.
Kel was smiling. Kel was looking at him like he was the best thing on Earth. With Sunny, it was different; Hero didn’t know anything about how he might have really felt. But Kel...it was so obvious that he liked it. How could Hero feel guilty about making his little brother feel good? He still thought that Mari was in a league of her own, but he might have understood her more than he thought he did.
The rest of the night went on normally. Dinner, bath, homework. Neither of them mentioned what had happened, but it didn’t feel like it was an elephant in the room—it had just happened, and neither of them regretted it. The next morning, Hero woke up before Kel, as always, and his first thought was to go see Mari.
He was lucky enough to catch her alone, cleaning up from breakfast. Sunny was in his room, their parents had already gone out. Hero spoke over the clinking of dishes, surprised to hear that his voice wasn’t shaking. “Need some help?”
“Sure! You always know how to get them spotless,” Mari praised. “You wash, I’ll dry.”
Hero stepped up to the sink, rolling up his sleeves and grabbing a cloth. His instinct told him to begin with small talk, to build up to what he really wanted to say, but what had happened with Kel was at the forefront of his mind. “Uh, yesterday...something happened between me and Kel. And...you’re the only person I can tell, I think.”
Mari didn’t even pause. She dried the plate in her hand, set it down, then turned to Hero for the next one. “I’m the only person you can tell? I hope it’s not anything bad.”
Somehow, Hero got the feeling that Mari knew what it was. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say that it was something bad. His honest response, his honest feelings... “No. It wasn’t...it wasn’t bad. It was actually really nice, okay? And I think I made Kel happy. You know what I’m talking about, right?”
“Of course I do,” Mari responded, voice soft and sympathetic. Her voice lowered, she said, “I didn’t expect you to get so brave even without me around.”
“I didn’t either. I-I don’t know what came over me, to be honest,” Hero admitted. “It just felt like the right thing to do. Kel was upset, and...I don’t know.”
“You’ll have to tell me what you did some time. Or show me.” Hero swallowed. He’d certainly imagined it, sharing his little brother with Mari as she had done with him. She must have taken his silence as hesitation. “Unless you don’t want to?”
“...It’s up to Kel,” Hero finally said. “I won’t do anything he doesn’t want to. But...he does like you.”
“Aw! You think so?” Mari grinned, so sweet and so innocent. At first, Hero had been afraid of the contrast between the Mari he knew, kind and perfect, and the Mari that he’d come to know over the past days. But it was starting to make sense to him, after seeing Kel like he had. Mari was still sweet, she was still innocent—she just loved her brother.
There was nothing wrong with that, right?
“We can...go to see him after we finish the dishes,” Hero suggested. “If you think Sunny wouldn’t mind you stepping out for a bit.”
“I’m sure he’ll be okay. Besides, I haven’t sat down with Kel for a little while!” Hero’s mind wandered as he cleaned the forks and plates and cups, wondering what Mari would do to his little brother. He wasn’t afraid, but this would be an intersection of what he considered to be the two most important people in his life, in a way that he had never seen before. Mari must have sensed his hesitation—a hand came up to his shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’ll follow your lead this time. Okay?”
Hero might have frozen up or ran away, had she said that to him a week ago. But he was already in too deep, and when he felt anticipation running up his spine, he embraced it. “Okay.”