Work Text:
Elise sat in the cockpit of her ship with her legs pulled up to her chest, Syzygy in the little bed on the dash she had made for them, and stared out into the hangar. She rested her chin on her knees and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.
Things were moving so quickly that she could hardly keep up. Her attention had become split between working with Osiris on the Glykon and attending to the Cabal forces throughout what remained of the system. She still felt stained by spores and Scorn blood despite her numerous showers. She'd scrubbed at her skin so roughly that Syzygy had to come out and take care of the abrasions. Even now, her skin itched. The Ghost had scanned her numerous times at her request, but had insisted that as far as they could tell, she was fine.
But that Lightless Guardian, strung up as though the ship had made an example of him. The Scorn corrupted, caught in a Darkness infused nightmare.
Elise crushed her eyes together and fought off the panic attack that her thought loop had brought on, hands to her face as she hyperventilated and began to cry.
Syzygy got up from the bed and nuzzled against her, pulsing gently as they nestled in the crook of her neck. She put a hand on their shell, counting their pulses. Four, eight. Four, eight. Inhale, exhale. Breathing exercises.
Elise still cried.
"Thanks," she said, softly and with a rasp to her voice as the stress turned to fatigue.
"Is there anything you need from me?"
She shook her head. "No, I just… don’t know."
"I wish I could help."
"You do help," she assured them. She held them close until Syzygy decompiled, leaving her alone physically but staying available if needed.
Her comms chirped. Elise froze for a moment, staring at the little panel in the wall as though it might jump out and bite her. She swallowed the fear and palmed at her face, getting up to answer. She took a deep breath, then pressed the little yellow button."Yes?"
"Elise," Crow's voice began. "I'm outside. Is it okay if I come in?"
She looked behind her and stared at her cabin, her armor and helmet on the floor while take-out containers littered the counter top. Her trundle was pulled out from under the cabinet and the sheets were a mess. A blanket and pillow were crumpled up on the loveseat pressed against the back wall.
"Um," she began, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She cleared her throat, "Give me just a moment."
"All right," he said. She could have sworn she heard relief in those little words.
Elise tucked her hair behind her ears and quickly tidied up, tucking her bed away and chucking containers into the garbage. She checked her face in a mirror, sighed heavily at what a mess she looked, then went to open the hatch.
Crow stood alone in the gear that Osiris had given him, Glint likely tucked inside, with his hood up and mask on. He met her gaze awkwardly. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"No," she assured him. "I actually wouldn't mind the company, if that's alright."
"I am here, aren't I?" he said, a little playful. He carried his shoulders tightly, as though stress had gotten to him too. It was getting to everyone.
Elise offered a smile and stepped aside to let him in. “You might regret saying that,” she said with as much levity as she could muster, closing the door behind him.
Crow had been inside her ship a few times. It was safer letting her be the pilot to and from Wrathborn hunts, with Crow riding shotgun. Some things transcended even death, Elise had noted, given his weakness at stopping the ships he piloted. Those rides had started out with tense silence, neither sure of what to say to the other, and then turned into pleasant conversation. They had become comfortable with each other in a way that Elise hadn't anticipated. It had been so long since she'd had a close friend, and this was perhaps the first time that she'd ever had stronger feelings of affection for another.
Perhaps it was the kiss that had changed the air between them. Neither had regrets, and things really hadn't changed. But there was still that wondering of how they were supposed to act around each other, even after a month had passed.
To her relief, it seemed things would be much the same as before. Just a little closer, now.
Elise took a seat on the couch, moving the blanket to the side as she tucked herself into the corner of it with a knee to her chest. The hatch closed and she could feel Syzygy's curiosity before they compiled at her side. "Is something wrong?" they asked, becoming her voice as she tried to get her throat to loosen from the tears she'd recently shed.
Crow stood awkwardly for a moment then took the opposite side of the couch, pulling down his hood and pausing before taking off his mask. He held it in his hands, staring at the empty eyes before setting it aside. "Saladin’s in the H.E.L.M. We had a… discussion, before Osiris took over. I needed someplace to cool off before heading back out."
"You're more than welcome here," Elise said, her voice soft as she tried to find it.
The corner of his mouth quirked upwards before he took notice of her eyes. They were slightly bloodshot from crying, but the glow of her Solar like irises hid it well. Elise looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her cuticles.
Syzygy perked up, trying to help distract from Elise's stress, knowing she didn't want Crow to worry about her. "Where are you headed to next?" they asked.
"Nessus," he said, though he seemed to be catching onto Syzygy's diversion. He watched her more closely now, just glancing in the Ghost's direction. "Holliday and I are monitoring a fireteam as they engage another of Caiatl's Champions."
"Holliday is good company," Elise said, smiling slightly now but still not meeting his gaze.
"She is," Crow said. He became bolder as he moved closer. Syzygy moved to hover above Elise’s shoulder, watching their Guardian carefully as Crow put a hand on her knee. He caught their apprehension mixed with the distance in her eyes. "What's eating at you?"
Elise stiffened. "Um, I…" She laughed nervously at herself, words catching as her throat tried to close up, her voice a whisper, "I feel so stupid."
"Don't," he said, gently. He didn't force eye contact, instead offering her a hand to hold if she needed it. Elise hesitated only a moment before taking it, his warmth a comfort. He gave her a gentle squeeze. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She breathed back some tears that were trying to form. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," he said, carefully brushing a thumb over the top of her hand. "I'm sure."
Elise nodded. She forced herself to breathe more evenly, remembering the exercise, and then settled enough to speak.
"My assignment from the Commander and Osiris… it was," she trailed off, her free hand fidgeting with the cuff of her pink sweater, fingers catching on the knit. Crow was patient, Glint coming out but remaining silent. She shied at the sudden audience, despite knowing the little Light had already been present. "There was hope that it might be a rescue. We went in alone. It didn't seem like the sort of thing that would necessitate calling up old acquaintances, not when Syzygy and I are capable enough as is. But that place…"
Crow's brows furrowed with concern and he moved a little closer, not pushing himself on her but opening himself up for comfort if she desired it. "I heard a little bit about the mission from Osiris, but not much of his reports. It was one of Calus' ships, and the distress call came from a Hunter working for him.”
“It was a nightmare. I’ve dealt with Darkness before. On Luna and Europa. The aspects it created then didn’t matter, old enemies I knew were gone. And each time it made contact was so... personal. It spoke to me, using Syzy.” She began looking for her Ghost at this, relieved as they came to rest in the sweater's dense cowl. They pulsed gently, reassuring her as she carried on. “The Glykon was caught in the chaos as Mars disappeared. The ship itself had become warped, hallways no longer made sense. The corruption on board was organic. Plant matter and fungi were growing from the ceilings and walls. And the only way forward was to take in some of that corruption.”
Elise’s eyes became glossy as her skin began to itch. She shut them, a tear slipping down her cheek, as her free hand moved to her neck. She bumped into Syzygy on the way, her Ghost readjusting accordingly. Crow didn’t say anything as Glint floated over and gently lowered himself into Elise’s lap. She cleared her mind for a second, settling her nerves.
“I wouldn’t recommend it. Syzy says things are fine, but I feel-” She paused as she squirmed, shifting to get more comfortable. Elise rested her hand on Glint’s shell, her fingertips tracing the scar left behind by Spider’s tools to stay grounded. “Violated feels like the right word, maybe.”
Crow nodded as he kept a close eye on her, taking notice of her body language as though making a note of how to tell when she was distressed. “I haven’t had any engagements with the Darkness yet. Not formally."
Uldren had, she kept to herself. "I've done what I've had to in order to survive, but it's dangerous." She glanced over, catching his gaze with uncharacteristic intensity, fire within her Solar light eyes. "Stay close to the Light, Crow. Okay?"
He understood the unspoken words that lingered in the air. Something to do with his past. Crow nodded. It only gave him more questions he knew she wasn’t allowed to answer. "Okay."
She nodded back, squeezing the hand she still held. He took hers in both of his, tracing the lines on her palm. Elise found focus in the way his calloused skin grazed hers. “Thanks.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile as he continued to trace, then moved to kiss her skin. Elise smiled back, the tenderness calming. He met her gaze again, finding the conversation again. “What did you find there? Osiris hasn’t told me much.”
“No?” Her head cocked slightly and her fingers found the edges of Glint’s shell, fidgeting with the points of his flaps. The Ghost wiggled in her lap a little, as though getting comfortable. “Well. We found a lot.” She chewed her cheek as she pulled her words together. “Calus was always fanatical about power, but it seems he thought that he could control the Darkness. Possess it as his own.”
“That isn’t how it works for you?” Crow asked.
She shook her head, frowning. “Stasis is something else. Still Dark, but the way I’ve been trained is to use my own power. That already exists within me. The ziggurat may have helped draw it out, but it’s mine. What Calus was doing was madness. Most of the science is lost on me. They fucked with the Darkness. Used their Hunter, Katabasis, and Scorn. The results were awful. The monster they created, the corruption of the Hunter. And the echoes, they…” Elise fumbled with her words as they tangled in her head.
“Voices of the dead,” Syzygy spoke up. Elise nodded, happy to let them be her voice while she breathed. “Fragments from when they were alive. They made a creature that they hoped to use to control Darkness, and whether the voices were real or not, we heard them. Osiris heard Sagira’s. We heard old friends.”
Elise’s eyes closed and instead of pained, she looked almost wistful. “You’re okay, firebird. Keep going," she said.
"Acacia," Syzygy clarified, their iris downturned and voice mournful.
"I've never heard of them," Crow said, curious now.
"She'd have loved you. Or maybe hated you," Elise said with a laugh in her voice. "Nothing personal, I promise, just that she butted heads a lot. The Iron Lords called her the Young Wolf."
Glint's iris briefly flashed with his recognition, meeting Crow's eyes. “I know that name."
"Did you ever meet her?" Elise asked him, looking down at the small friend in her lap.
"No, I was in the Reef when she was active," he said. "But even out there, I heard about her."
"Just the Vanguard reports, I'm sure. She was so much more." Elise let out a chuckle, then looked at Crow. "Can I… tell you about her?"
Crow smiled at her lightened mood and said, "Sure."
Elise's eyes nearly closed from her smile as she began, "Acacia was an Exo, but she was so bright. A Hunter with no sense of direction. We met not long after I first woke up, almost a year before the War. She was the first Lightbearer I’d met and I was enchanted. Acacia had such a sense of adventure and was always getting herself into trouble. She frustrated the Vanguard, but Cayde loved her. I loved her. I was part of her fireteam and she was so exciting to see in action.”
“You mentioned a Hunter friend when we went into the City,” he said. “Was that her?”
“Yeah,” Elise said, smiling at an old memory. “She used to sneak me into Hunter Dens for drinks and card games, trusted me with the hidden bases she’d made up in the countryside.”
"You didn't tell me about her then," he noted.
"I thought about it, but I’d probably have brought up her death. I didn't want to guilt you into spending the night with me," she admitted. Elise tucked her hair behind her ear, "I wanted it to be real."
"It was," he promised with a gentle smile. Crow traced her palm again. "What happened to her?"
Glint’s iris became downcast with knowing and Elise fidgeted with his scars again. “How much do you know about the Red War?”
“Enough,” he said carefully. “I know about Ghaul’s cage. And I know it’s not an easy topic to bring up. Folks mention it and say it was a dark time, but almost never go into detail. Asking questions gets vague answers.”
“Everyone lost someone when the Legion attacked. Losing the Light was devastating,” she said. “Syzy and I got lucky, we barely made it out with the Traveler's aid. But Acacia… when we came back to reclaim the City, they found her body just inside the walls. Her Ghost was shattered. No one knows what really happened.”
“Shit,” Crow said softly.
Elise nodded her agreement. Syzygy spoke up again, looking over at Crow from their perch on their Guardian’s shoulder. “The last thing we got from Acacia’s Ghost was an attempt to contact our fireteam. It was never sent.”
“Syzy and I kept to ourselves after the War,” she began again, “but defeating Ghaul made us heroes. You can imagine the rest.”
Crow gave her a playful smile as he shifted closer, putting an arm around her shoulder and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “The curse of being dependable.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that came through her nose. “Shut up,” she said without malice, untucking herself from the corner of the couch to scoot up against him. The Ghosts decompiled, retreating to the cockpit to give their Guardians some space. Elise put a hand on Crow’s chest as she savored the closeness. “Thank you. For letting me ramble like this”
“I know you’ll return the favor someday,” he joked.
“I absolutely will,” she said, looking up at him. “We’re a team now. Maybe more than that.”
“Maybe,” Crow echoed, giving her a squeeze. They still hadn’t defined what they were. This was comfortable enough.
Elise smiled and tucked herself against his side, listening to his steady heartbeat through his armor. He was so warm. Despite the kiss, she and Crow hadn’t really had much time alone since their outing and they likely wouldn’t get much more any time soon.
“I mean it,” she said softly. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”
Crow smiled as he put both arms around her, holding her close and nuzzling his nose against the top of her head. “That means a lot.”
Elise pulled away to catch his gaze. She licked at her lips, cradling his cheek in her hand, before moving to kiss him. Crow kissed back.
"When do you leave for Nessus?" she asked.
"I still have plenty of time," he assured her, tucking back a loose strand of her hair.
"Can you stay a little longer?"
Crow smiled at her, the corners of his eyes soft as he scanned her features. "I can work something out."
Elise let out a small giggle as they readjusted on the couch, her all but laying on his chest while they curled up with each other. They kissed tenderly, lazily, content with the temporary calm that they had made. Crow left a love bite on her neck again, this time just beneath her left ear. She reciprocated with one of her own, tugging his gear down so she could hide it near his collarbone. A secret for the two of them.
And then they lay there, enjoying the quiet hum of the ship. Nothing else has to matter just yet.