Chapter Text
Okay, this is too weird. Will thought as he took stock of the medical supplies in the clinic. It’s too quiet.
Will Solace’s day had been generally nice. Breakfast went surprisingly smoothly. The Hermes kids weren’t trying to prank the Ares kids as much as usual and the Ares kids had left their weapons in their cabin for once. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, as usual, but the sun seemed to shine brighter. It was even slow in the clinic. Only a few sprains and scrapes from the climbing wall’s latest victims. It had been so slow that he managed to get in a couple of hours of archery practice before a rather peaceful lunch.
The only thing that was remotely off was that he hadn’t seen Nico all day. But not even that was unusual enough to cause alarm in the blonde’s mind. His crush was always going between camp and the Underworld. Will thought that Nico was staying in Cabin 13 for a few days before going out on his own again. The son of Hades does enjoy his alone time.
He’s about to grab a jump bag and go watch Percy try and teach the younger demigods how to fight with a sword. As he puts away the clipboard with the supply list, the lights flicker. He looks to Austin and Kayla, both of whom look as confused as he feels. When the lights go out entirely for about five seconds, Kayla gasps and Austin manages to trip over the blankets he was carrying.
“Please help him,” a man begs from a few feet behind him.
Spinning around, Will’s chest feels uncomfortably tight. In the entrance of the clinic, Hades is rising from the shadows holding an unnaturally pale Nico di Angelo. Fear is the only way to describe the expression the god is wearing as he’s guided to place his motionless son on the nearest bed.
“What happened?” Will asks as he checks Nico’s pulse.
“I-I have no idea,” the panicking god stammers. “I received this letter from Nico a few hours ago,” he hands Kayla the letter when she asks to read it. “When I sent him an Iris-message, I saw him lying on the floor.”
The rest of his explanation goes in one ear and out the other. Nico was found on the ground. He must have collapsed. Will checks the back of his head for blood. Nothing. He checks his neck. Nothing’s out of place and he don’t sense any fractures. Nico’s pale skin and blue lips point Will towards a respiratory or cardiac issue being what caused him to collapse. He listens to his heart and lungs. His breathing is shallow, and his heartbeat is dangerously slow. Deafening sirens blare in the back of his mind as he checks Nico’s eyes, pinpoint pupils.
“What did he take?” Will asks, unintentionally interrupting Hades.
Confused, he asks, “‘Take’?”
“He’s showing signs of an overdose. What did he take?” As he repeats his question, Nico starts seizing. Will’s heart jumps into his throat as he quickly puts up the rails on both sides of the bed.
By the medicine cabinet, Austin inquires, “What are we giving him?”
He hates saying this, “Nothing.” Locking eyes with Nico’s father, he says, “It’s not safe to give him any medication and risk an adverse reaction to whatever he took. Can you take Austin to Cabin 13 and figure out what he took? Now?” In seconds, the lights flickered again before Austin and Hades are gone.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Will blinks away the tears he’s holding back. After about two minutes, Nico stops convulsing. Instead he lies on the hospital bed still as the dead aside from the slight rise and fall of his chest with every nerve rackingly shallow breath. The son of Apollo pales when he turns Nico onto his side to make it easier to remove the boy’s jacket and check him for injuries. On the bed, where Nico’s arm just was, there’s a large dark red patch on the otherwise pristine white sheet.
“Help me get his jacket off,” Will orders. “He’s bleeding from somewhere.” The second they get the jacket off of him, his heart shatters and a tear escapes down his freckled cheeks. “T-tourniquet. Gauze pads. Bandages.” His sister is too shocked to move. “Now, Kayla!” he snaps, a little harsher than he intended. Nico’s forearm is literally covered in deep cuts. Some are fresh, most are in various stages of healing, and about a dozen are nothing but fading pink scars. As his sister gathers the requested supplies, Will uses a clean rag from a nearby shelf to hold pressure with one hand, carding the other through Nico’s unruly obsidian locks. “Oh, Nico. What have you done to yourself?” he whispers a second before his sister returns. As she secures the tourniquet, Hades and Austin return with several small orange bottles with peeled off labels and not a pill in sight.
Austin looks apologetic, “There’s a small pharmacy’s worth of drugs in his cabin. I don’t think he wanted to survive this.”
“Anything other than opioids?” he shakes his head.
“Narcan,” all three Apollo children stated as Kayla rushed to the cabinet to retrieve the medicine.
It takes two doses of the Narcan before Nico starts to show signs of coming down from the drugs. While Will is focused on getting him to respond, Kayla bandages his cuts and Austin monitors his vitals. Hades is doing his best to stay close to his gravely wounded child while staying out of the way of the young healers. After another minute or so, Will finally gets a response as he rubs his knuckles roughly over Nico’s sternum, calling his name. It’s just a small groan, but it’s a response that they weren’t getting a few minutes ago.
“Nico,” Will calls, a hint of hope in his tone. “Come on, man. It’s time to wake up.”
Dark coffee brown eyes flutter, looking more tired than he’d ever seen them, before his eyes snap open. Everything happens so fast. Normal people who overdose and are forced down from that high can come out of it swinging. But after losing as much blood as Nico has, it doesn’t matter how high someone was or how fast they came down, nobody should be able to move this fast and be this strong. Normal doesn’t exactly apply for them, though.
Before any of them had the chance to stop him, Nico got up and lunged for the suture tray on a nearby table. Will snaps out of his shock when a boney hand closes around the scalpel. Within seconds he has a bruising grip on Nico’s wrist. The second the son of Hades lets go of the blade, Will kicks it away and pulls him close, pinning his arms between their chests. It’s a struggle to keep Nico restrained, but he eventually runs out of adrenaline-fueled energy.
“Shh,” Will coos, carefully guiding the collapsing demigod to the floor. His arms tighten around him when he feels tearstains forming on his shirt. “Why?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?” No response. “You’re not immortal. If your dad hadn’t brought you here, you’d be dead right now.”
“I know,” he whispers.
Feeling traitorous tears roll down his cheeks, Will bows his head. “Then why? Please, Nico, help me understand,” He pleads into soft midnight.
“I don’t belong here.” His confession overshadows Chiron’s entrance. “Everyone who would miss me is already in the underworld.”
“But there are so many people here who love you.”
“Then why did they leave me?!” he snaps with as much anger and pain as his exhausted voice can manage. “Hazel went back to Camp Jupiter with Frank. Percy’s entire focus is on Annabeth and they barely even talk to me anymore. I don’t have any friends other than them. I don’t have anyone to stay here for.”
“Then stay for me.” It just slipped out. Will immediately tenses, registering exactly what he said. He waits to be shoved away or hit. He waits for someone to scream at him how stupid he is. He just confessed to his crush, who just tried to kill himself. Instead, Nico manages to sneak his arms out from between them and around Will. He clings to him like a lifeline. Taking this as a good sign, Will presses a soft kiss to the top of Nico’s head, whispering, “I love you.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
Will pulls away just far enough to look Nico in the eye. “I swear on the Styx, I am not lying to you, Nico di Angelo. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out how to tell you. It never seemed like the right-” He’s cut off by a rough pair of lips pressed tentatively to his. It’s a quick, yet blissful, kiss that leaves Will wanting more. “-time.” Looking absolutely exhausted, Nico cuddles close to Will, resting his head on his shoulder. “You should rest. Do you mind if I carry you back over to the bed?”
Receiving a small nod, Will carefully lifts Nico off the tile floor. He’s concerned about how light the boy is but decides to let him rest before asking about it. Kayla and Austin are relaying the situation to a very worried Chiron. Hades quickly moves to the other side of the bed and runs his fingers through his son’s hair. “I’m sorry, Nico. I should have seen that something was wrong,” the god apologizes, tears pouring down his cheeks like rivers.
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“I’m your father. I know that I haven’t done a very good job of showing it, but I do love you. I hate seeing you hurt.”
“I know, dad,” Nico responds, a small smile gracing his tired face.
“He needs to rest,” Will informs as he sets up the electrodes for an echocardiogram machine. He turns to Nico and explains, “Your heart was in a dangerous rhythm when you came in. This ECG will help us monitor your vitals to make sure your heart doesn’t go back into that rhythm.”
“I speak four languages and that was none of them.”
“This machine will help me make sure you don’t die in your sleep from a weird heartbeat.”
Sitting up with the help of his father, Nico nods. “That I understand. Those go on my chest?”
“Yeah,” Will confirms as he helps Nico with his shirt and dutifully sets to placing the electrodes and a pulse oximeter. While trying to be professional, Will can’t help but notice how thin he is. He also can’t help but notice all the scars littering Nico’s pale skin.
Will hadn’t noticed the shaking in his hands until Nico took hold of one. He presses a kiss to the back of his hand, smiling weakly up at the blonde. “They’re battle scars, Sunshine. And I’ve been too thin since the jar.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
With another weak smile, Nico’s asleep the second his head hits the pillow. When his heartrate slows to a safe rate indicative of deep sleep, Will finally allows himself to actually cry. He’d been holding back the emotional pain he had been feeling since Nico had been brought into his care. He’s so out of it that he barely registers the cold arms wrapping around him. He can’t hear Hades trying to comfort him over the static of his own mind. Warning signs that he missed race through his mind. What if’s join them.
What if Hades hadn’t found him?
What if he had noticed the signs?
What if he had cut deeper?
What if Hades had been a second late?
What if he had taken more than opioids?
So many questions and no answers. Will’s head starts to hurt with all the possibilities of all the ways that this could have gone horribly wrong. He allows the ruler of the underworld to hold him and whisper reassurances in his ear. Nothing helps though. He still feels guilty for letting Nico’s depression go unnoticed and get so bad. He wants nothing more than to take all of his pain away as fast as possible, but that’s not how this works.
He knows that his siblings are watching him and he’s vaguely aware of the other campers gathering at the entrance of the clinic. Word travels fast when one of the gods pays them a visit.
“Nico?” Percy’s worried voice cuts through Will’s heartbreak like a knife.
As if sensing the anger rising in the son of Apollo, Hades lets go of Will as he rises. Hatred replaces his sadness as he storms over to the son of Poseidon. “Out!” he snaps, shoving him hard. When Percy doesn’t move more than a small stumble, confusion etched across his face, Will grabs him by the arm and drags him out through to the other side of the sea of demigods. “Get out of my clinic!” he snaps again.
“What happened to Nico?” Percy inquires. “Is he okay?”
“No,” is the only response he gets as Will turns to return to Nico’s side.
“What happened?”
Anger seeps deeper into Will’s very soul. “You couldn’t just talk to him, could you?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, I heard you. I just don’t understand.”
Will finally spins around to face him. As the healer advances towards the living legend himself, getting in his face, he asks, “When was the last time you took five minutes to just talk to him? When was the last time you asked him how he was doing? If he was okay?”
“I-I don’t know,” he confesses, obviously confused and intimidated by how aggressive the usually laid-back blonde is acting. “Why? What happened to Nico?”
“Why do you want to know? You clearly don’t care about him!”
“Of course I care about him! He’s my friend. I promised his sister I’d protect him. What happened?!”
“Remind me to never put someone’s life in your hands.”
“Is he-” the tan boy can’t bring himself to finish his question as he looks from Will to the entrance of the clinic.
“He’s alive, barely. He wouldn’t be in this position had you just talked to him.”
“I tried to protect him.”
“From everything but himself and a bottle of pills. Let’s tally up all the trauma he’s been through that should have tipped us all off to his poor mental health, shall we? In the last couple of years, he lost his sister, he spent the equivalent of four years in the Labyrinth with a ghost that was using him, he was manipulated by his father, he survived the Titan War, he barely survived Tartarus, he was trapped in a jar for more than a week, he almost died in said jar, Cupid outed him. Do I need to continue? Or do you get how traumatized he is and how much having a friend to talk to could have prevented him from attempting suicide? And how much it hurt him for his only friend to cut him out of their life? I know you’re not an idiot, Percy. You have to have seen how much he was not okay.”
Anger joins worry in Percy’s sea foam green eyes. “You say that as if I haven’t been through hell, too! He’s not the only one here who’s been screwed over time and time again. We’re a camp full of demigods! It comes with the territory!”
“Everyone else here has friends and siblings to help them! Nico had NOBODY!" Will screams. “You can tell yourself that you were there for him all you want, but you were really only there for him when it was convenient for you! When you needed someone with a connection to the underworld, you gave a damn about him! The rest of the time you blew him off just like everybody else!”
“You weren’t there for him!”
“I didn’t know how to be there for him! I didn’t even know how to tell him that I love him more than sunlight until he was half dead in the clinic! I was afraid that something horrible would happen to him if I said anything because I was afraid that I’d have about as much luck as my dad when it comes to love! I hate myself for not saying something sooner!”
It finally seems to sink in in Percy’s mind just how messed up the situation is. “What can I do to help?” he asks.
“Throw away his pills. Pay attention to him. Don’t leave him again.”
Wordlessly, Percy turns in the direction of the Hades Cabin and starts walking like he’s in some sort of daze. Will takes a few shaky breaths to calm himself before returning to the clinic. He’s still angry at Percy and himself, but he pushes that anger away in favor of checking on his patient. Luckily, Nico slept through the screaming match outside. He hums in his sleep when Will gently caresses his cheek.
“It’s not your fault,” Hades assures.
“Then why does it feel like it is?”
“Because you truly love him.” The questioning look from the healer prompts the god to continue. “I felt like it was my fault when his mother was killed, even though I did everything I could to protect her. The only things that hurt worse were welcoming Bianca to Elysium and not being able to find Hazel in the Fields of Asphodel.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Hades shakes his head, a sad smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t be. Maria and Bianca have reincarnated. Hazel has a new life. And now I know that Nico has someone to take care of him when I’m not here.” He pauses, a look of contemplation in his ancient eyes. “I was a horrible father to him when he needed me most.”
“At least you didn’t ignore him.”
“No. I only told him that I wished he had died instead of Bianca. I lied to him. I broke promises. When he needed me to be a father, I couldn’t see far enough past my own grief to notice that he was in pain as well. My child was in pain and I only hurt him more. What kind of father does that make me?”
“It’s not uncommon for a parent to blame the death of one child on their surviving sibling or themself. It’s an extreme expression of the anger stage of the grieving process. You’re only a horrible parent if that grief turns into abuse, which it hasn’t from what I can tell.” Looking from son to father, Will adds, “You’re doing a good job raising him considering how restricted your contact with him is. You haven’t claimed then ignored, or simply ignored, your children. That’s more than most of the rest of camp can say about their godly parent.”
The two fall into a comfortable silence as they watch Nico sleep and listen to the heart monitor. Eventually, the dinner horn is blown, but neither god nor healer move to heed it’s call. Chiron brings them food at some point, but the plates go untouched. They hear the chaos of that night’s game of capture the flag all the way from the forest. Eventually, Mr. D comes more to check on Hades than to check on the two campers. When lightening flashes across the otherwise clear sky, Hades steps outside to yell at his brother about not leaving his son. That only serves to anger the king of the gods, but he seems to calm down when Jason stops by to check on Nico. After informing Will how many pill bottles Percy found and disposed of, he remains respectfully silent as he wisely keeps his distance.
Will must have fallen asleep. One second, it’s the middle of the night and he’s watching Nico breath. The next, he’s waking up to thin callused fingers combing through his sun-bleached hair. “Good morning, Sunshine,” Nico says quietly.
Sitting up, Will leans over and kisses him quickly. “How are you feeling?” he asks as he changes his bandages using the supplies one of the other Apollo kids had set out earlier in the morning.
“Better,” Nico responds.
Keeping his eyes on his work, Will says, “Good because we need to talk.”
“I already told you why I did it.”
“That’s not what we need to talk about. We don’t keep opioids anywhere in camp, ambrosia is a much more effective alternative.” Hearing the steady beeping of the heart monitor quicken, Will meets Nico’s ashamed gaze with a concerned one of his own. “Nico, I need to know where you got the drugs. You’re not in trouble. I’m not mad at you. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”
Nico hesitates before confessing, “I bribed a few of the older Hermes kids to steal them for me. They got me about forty bottles of various pills.”
“Forty-seven,” Will informs. “Percy searched your cabin and threw out every bottle he found.”
“I’m not an addict.”
“I know. Why did you cut yourself?”
“The pills were taking too long. I didn’t want to risk anyone finding me before I died. I didn’t think the letter would get to dad so fast.”
“Oh, Nico,” Will breathes. “Move over.” Nico does as he’s told, making space for Will to climb into the bed beside him and pull him into his arms. He holds Nico close as he cries. “You’re going to be okay.”
“I-I’m sor-sorry,” he hiccups between sobs.
“It’s okay, hun. Nobody’s mad at you. We’re just worried,” Will assures, rubbing soothing circles into his back. He continues to comfort him until his sobs finally die down to hiccups. They sit in silence for a little while longer before Will kisses the top of Nico’s head, whispering, “I love you.”
Nico, not trusting himself to speak, leans up and kisses Will before resting his head back against the healer’s chest. He’s gripping the front of Will’s shirt like he’ll disappear if he lets go. His heart rate is a little slower than it should be, but not slow enough to cause concern. By the time Hades and Mr. D stop by, Nico has gone back to sleep.
He has a long road to recovery ahead of him. Will vows to himself that he will be there for every step and relapse until Nico is healed physically and emotionally. He wants to prove that he really does love him. He swears that he will be the light that Nico has been missing from his life for so long. Even if it’s the last thing he does.