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            The emotional toll of the day hit him like a freight train and Buck was completely oblivious to the appearance of Bobby, Hen, and Chim and how they surrounded him, spoke to him.  The words he’d been struggling to get out to Eddie, about how Christopher had disappeared and Buck couldn’t find him and how desperate he’d been to assure Eddie that he had done everything he possibly could have were still poised on his lips as he watched the grin on Christopher’s face, the tearful expression of relief on Eddie’s.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel Chim gripping his arm tightly and thought he might be gripping it back, but he was so numb he couldn’t be sure.

              Buck was vaguely aware that Chim and Bobby were speaking to him, but he only had eyes for Christopher.  After being so hyper-focused for so long, finally seeing him there, and safe, almost confused him.  He almost felt like Christopher was a ghost, as if Buck had willed him into being out of sheer desperation. He felt a wave of dizziness wash over him as, many moments later, it finally sunk into his brain that it was all over.  Christopher was safe, Eddie was holding his son, and the rest of his team was right there with him.

          “You two okay?”  Bobby asked, and it took Buck a moment to register his voice, still staring over at Chris.  Buck’s eyes flickered over to Bobby, acknowledging his presence for the first time, not knowing whether Bobby meant him and Christopher or him and Eddie, but started to answer automatically.

          “Yeah, we’re- we’re great.”

          The words were barely out of Buck’s mouth before his knees gave out and he started to fall, suddenly unable to hold his own weight.  He heard a cry of surprise from one of them and felt his chest collide with Bobby’s arm as the man caught him, Hen and Chim’s arms joining Bobby’s as they braced his fall, slowly easing him to the ground. 

          “Hang in there! Hang in there, Buck.”

              In a complete daze, Buck barely heard and certainly didn’t absorb Hen’s words as his utter exhaustion overwhelmed him.  He clutched Hen’s arm as he breathed heavily, using her as a brace both physically and emotionally as he continued to watch Eddie holding Christopher.  The feeling of her coat under his hands as he gripped it weakly helped to ground him slightly, but he still felt completely overwhelmed. Buck felt like he couldn’t catch his breath and the world spun in front of him as Chim and Bobby bustled around him, Hen still holding him up.  Buck saw that Eddie was watching him, and Christopher’s head had just turned in his direction.

              “Buck!”  Christopher’s voice called to him, and every ounce of Buck’s being wanted to respond, wanting to force himself to rise up and go over there, to wrap his arms around Christopher and reassure himself that the kid was okay, to reassure Christopher that he was okay, but Buck couldn’t even keep his own head up anymore.  He heard Eddie, Hen and Bobby all call his name nearly at the same time in various states of alarm as he swayed in Hen’s grip.  A moment later his eyes fluttered shut, his world blacking out completely as he slumped in Hen’s arms, his hands falling from her coat and into his lap.

              “He passed out,” Hen called immediately, gently lowering Buck to the ground on his back so they could assess him.  His head lolled as his arms flopped limply on either side of him, and Hen reached out to feel his pulse as Chim knelt down on his other side, checking Buck’s body for obvious injuries.

              “Buck!” Eddie stood, still holding Christopher, and hurried over.  “Is he okay?”

              “No sign of a head injury,” Chim said, running his fingers along Buck’s temples, over the top of and behind his head, feeling for large lumps, cuts or anything else that would indicate a blow to the skull. Chin pulled Buck’s eyelids back one at a time and shone a flashlight into his eyes, checking pupil dilation.

              “He’s lost a lot of blood here,” Hen said, lifting Buck’s arm and examining the blood-soaked cloth that someone had tied around it to stem the blood flow, Buck’s wrist and hand coated with drying blood.  “I’m guessing a pretty large laceration.”

              “He’s still on blood thinners,” Eddie pointed out, trying to keep his voice calm as Christopher squirmed in his arms, sniffling.  “Maybe it’s not as big as it looks?”

              “Daddy?” Christopher asked, but Eddie shushed him gently, stroking his hair, thinking he just needed comfort.  Eddie could hear him mumbling Buck’s name and wordless noises alternatively and held him close. 

              “Yeah, he is,” Hen acknowledged Eddie’s words grimly.  “I’ll wait to take that off until we get him settled.”

              “I’ll find him a bed,” Bobby said and hurried off at once.  Hen started preparing an IV and after gently prodding the crook of Buck’s arm for several long moments, switched to his hand and made a small noise of frustration.  Memories of the last time she’d had to start an IV on Buck when he was lying on the street, rapidly fading as they raced to save him flashed before her eyes.  It had only been a few months since the explosion and it hurt Hen’s heart to have to be here caring for the poor kid again, especially so soon. Hen took a steadying breath, shoving the images away as best she could, trying to focus on the task at hand. 

              “He’s extremely dehydrated,” Hen said, finally feeling a vein under her gently palpating fingers and carefully inserting the needle, hitting the vessel on the first try.  She knew she was good, and almost never missed her mark, but Buck’s veins had shrunk so much she’d been worried she wouldn’t find one right away. She monitored the line for a moment to make sure it was flowing well before taping the catheter to the back of his hand, grateful at least that he wasn’t in such bad shape that she had to run two lines like last time.

              “Is that why he’s unconscious?” Eddie asked, unable to give the situation his full attention as Christopher fussed in his arms.  Eddie didn’t want to put him down just yet; he’d almost lost him and holding his son in his arms was all he could do to stop himself breaking down into the tears that had started when Buck had tried to drop the bombshell on him.

              “Yeah, and I’m guessing he’s depleted his body’s entire energy store,” Chim said, checking Buck’s blood pressure and heart rate and grimacing.  “And then some.”

              “Daddy!”  Chris’s voice was so insistent this time that Eddie started and looked at him, stroking his hair.

              “Yes, mijo?”

              “Is Buck okay?”  Christopher’s words were clearly full of worry and Eddie felt his heart twinge painfully as Chris’s voice wavered, his eyes full of tears.  “I saw him fall over.”

              “Buck will be just fine,” Eddie assured him, kissing his cheek, his forehead.  “He’s just... very tired.”

              “He saved me,” Christopher whispered, leaning his head against his father’s neck.  “He saved lots of people.”

           Eddie felt Christopher lean in closer to him and shifted his grip, holding him tight as he clung to Eddie, crying into his shoulder.  Eddie could tell he was exhausted, and tears stung his eyes again as he looked down at Buck and then back at his son.  He could only imagine what Buck had had to do that day, what both he and Christopher had endured out there, and his voice was a bit choked as he replied.

          “That doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Eddie said softly, rubbing Christopher’s back with one hand, trying to reassure him.  “Buck never stops helping people.”

          He felt Christopher nod into his shoulder in agreement and smiled sadly, leaning his cheek against Christopher’s damp hair as Hen and Chim continued to assess Buck’s condition.  Bobby returned a moment later and told them he’d found a bed for Buck. 

          “Eddie,” Lena’s voice broke into Eddie’s thoughts as he watched them tending to Buck and he looked around, spotting her a few feet away.

          “Eddie, come on inside, we can get your son checked out.”

          Eddie started to move towards her automatically but then stopped, looking back towards the others.

          “We can move him, he’s stable,” Hen was saying, standing up beside Buck’s prone form, elevating the saline bag attached to the line in his hand.   Bobby positioned himself above Buck’s head and slid his hands under Buck’s shoulders, lifting him under the arms.  Chim grabbed his legs and together they moved him away, down the line of tents, Buck’s head bobbing lifelessly, his chin bumping his chest as they struggled along, trying to be as gentle as possible. 

          Eddie felt anxiety grip him as he was torn.  He of course wanted to make sure Christopher was okay, his first priority always being his son.   But as he watched Bobby and Chim shuffling off with Buck’s unconscious body suspended between them, he felt a strong pull to follow, wanting to make sure Buck was going to be okay, because he looked so far from it. 

          Lena touched his arm and he jumped slightly, tearing his gaze away from his team’s retreating backs.

          “Yeah.  Yeah, okay,” Eddie agreed, clearing his throat and following her instead as she led him inside.  His stomach was in knots and he barely heard Lena as she asked around until she found an available doctor and led him and Chris into a curtained area.  Eddie set Christopher down on the cot set up there and sat down beside him, an arm around his back as though to reassure himself that he was still there.  The news that Buck had tried to break to him was still bouncing around in his head, and even though it had obviously not happened the way Buck had thought, Eddie was still reeling from the blow. 

          Eddie forced himself to pay attention as the doctor came in and greeted them, starting to examine Christopher.  Eddie could tell Chris was beyond overtired - usually he was very calm and cooperative when a doctor was examining him but tonight he was squirming and not wanting to let the doctor touch him.  Eddie knew he must be overwhelmed and shifted so he could pull Christopher onto his lap, hoping he’d feel more secure.  

          “Would you feel better if I got checked out too?”  Eddie asked Christopher, kissing his forehead as he settled the kid into his lap.   Christopher considered this and after a pause, nodded.   So Eddie held out his arm and let the doctor strap on a blood pressure cuff, listen to his heart and essentially give him a full checkup.  Chris watched carefully, and as Eddie flexed his slightly numb fingers, he felt Christopher relax against him.

          “Can the doctor give you a check up now?”  Eddie asked his son gently, and Eddie felt relieved as Christopher nodded silently, holding out his thin arm for the cuff.  Eddie watched as the doctor repeated everything he’d just done to Eddie on Christopher instead, his thoughts flickering back to Buck as he waited, wondering how he was doing.  

          Apparently Christopher had been thinking about Buck too, because the moment the doctor had pronounced Christopher merely tired and a bit dehydrated, he spoke immediately.  

          “Can we go see Buck now?”

          “Yeah, buddy, let’s go see Buck before we go home.”

          Eddie shifted Christopher off of his lap so he could stand, thanked the doctor, who hurried off to the next patient, and turned around to pick Christopher up again.  Once Chris was held securely in his arms, Eddie nodded his thanks at Lena who smiled in return, and headed outside.  

                                                              * * * * 

            Outside, Bobby and Chim had slowly carried Buck nearly the whole length of the parking lot before they found the empty cot Bobby had claimed.  With a bit of difficulty, Bobby navigated backwards through the cramped space and he and Chim set Buck down on the cot, careful not to hit his injured arm or his head on anything.  Bobby slipped a hand under Buck’s head and laid it down gently on the folded up towel Hen had placed at the head of the cot as a makeshift pillow.  Bobby lay Buck’s uninjured arm over his stomach so it wouldn’t be hanging off the side of the narrow cot and shook out a blanket that had been handed to him by a passing nurse, covering Buck from chest to feet.   As Bobby checked Buck in with the nurse, Hen and Chim set to examining Buck again.

              Hen attached the saline bag to a pole near the head of the cot and she and Chim got to work, assessing Buck more thoroughly now that they had better lighting and he was settled, stretched out on a cot rather than in the middle of the walkway in front of the building.  Bobby watched them, his lips pressed into a thin, anxious line, wishing the universe would give this kid a break.  He’d been in and out of the hospital so many times in the last few months, let alone all the stuff that had happened to him in the past.  Bobby felt like it was only yesterday that he’d watched in horror as Buck had suddenly started coughing up blood and collapsed from the embolism that nearly killed him.  Bobby knew that Buck looked up to him as a father figure and Bobby definitely felt like Buck was akin to a son to him.  He felt his heart clench painfully as Buck moaned in his sleep, hating how weak the kid sounded when he was usually so energetic, bouncing around them all like an excited puppy.  Bobby sighed heavily as he looked on, hoping that this disaster train that Buck was on had finally reached its destination.  

                  Eddie walked along the row of tents, examining each one, trying to find Buck.  He couldn’t see any of the rest of the crew either, and frowned as he neared the end of the line and they were still nowhere to be seen.  Looking around, Eddie held in a sigh as he realized there was a long line of tents stretching in the opposite direction as well, and he had clearly chosen the wrong arm.

          Shifting Christopher’s weight in his arms, Eddie headed back in the opposite direction, walking as quickly as he could until he approached the new tents, where he slowed and once more began looking for Buck or any of the others.  Christopher murmured tiredly in his ear and Eddie knew he was half asleep, Eddie’s muscles straining as Chris’s weight sagged in his arms.

 Finally, near the end of the second row of tents, Eddie spotted Bobby standing at the foot of a cot, and could see the back of Hen’s head, then Chim’s hair as he approached.   Eddie hurried over, his arms starting to scream in protest from holding Christopher for so long, but he ignored it, not willing to make Christopher walk after the day he’d had.  Clearly his crutches were long gone and Eddie knew he was so tired he might not be able to walk anyway.  So he carried him over to the others, Bobby looking up and giving him a grim nod as he approached.

          “How is he?” Eddie asked as soon as he was close enough, coming to a stop beside Bobby and looking down at Buck, who was still completely unconscious and lying limply on a cot.  

          “He’s stable,” Hen said, glancing up from where she’d just knelt down at Buck’s side and taken his arm, reaching for the cloth tied around it.  She tried to pull it away but it wouldn’t budge, so she cut it and began to peel it away.  Eddie winced inwardly as blood immediately started to pour from the wound again, the edges having dried to the cloth and ripping off as Hen removed it.  Eddie was glad he hadn’t put Christopher down yet;  he didn’t want him to see Buck bleeding everywhere in addition to being unconscious.  Although by the way Christopher’s limbs had all gone mostly limp, Eddie was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep in his arms. 

               “You should head home,” Bobby said after a moment, moving to Eddie’s side and putting a hand on his shoulder.  “We’ve got Buck, he’s in good hands.”

              “No!”  Christopher cried out loudly before Eddie could respond, startling both Eddie and Bobby at the sudden, intense protest.  Apparently Christopher had not been as asleep as Eddie had thought.

              “What’s wrong?” Eddie asked, a little frantic, holding Christopher slightly away from him so he could see his face.  “Are you okay?”

              “Don’t want to go home!” Christopher cried, squirming in Eddie’s quickly numbing arms so much that Eddie nearly dropped him.  Bobby reached out to help support Christopher and together they eased him to the ground, as he clearly was not about to be held any longer.  Hen looked up as she cleaned Buck’s wound and held gauze to it, trying to staunch the blood, feeling her heart break for the kid.  She could tell from her own experiences with Denny that the poor thing was beyond exhaustion and knew that that level of tiredness came with extremely heightened emotions, especially after such a horrible day.

              “Why not?”  Eddie asked, dropping to one knee in front of Christopher and reaching out, wiping away a tear as Christopher faced him, shaking his head.

              “Because,” Christopher replied, not elaborating at first as the emotion he was trying to express seemed to confuse his tired brain.  He swayed and leaned against Eddie for support, Eddie’s arms already there and wrapping around him.

              “Because why?” Eddie asked gently as Bobby looked on, concern clear on both of their faces. 

              “Don’t wanna leave Buck,” Christopher mumbled, burying his face in Eddie’s shoulder.  “Looked for him all day.  I don’t wanna leave him here.”

              Feeling like his heart was shattering into a million pieces, Eddie pulled Christopher into a gentle but protective hug, looking up at Bobby, who instantly started peering around in the darkness. 

              “I’ll see if I can find another cot,” Bobby said, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder, who nodded wordlessly, thankful that Bobby had understood.   Eddie wanted nothing more than to get Christopher home and out of his sodden clothes, into his bed and sleeping, safe and sound.  But how could he take Chris away from Buck now, after all they’d been through together?  Christopher had already loved Buck before this but Eddie could tell that their connection had grown exponentially.  Between Christopher’s reaction now and the way Buck had fallen to pieces trying to tell Eddie that he was gone, Eddie knew they had bonded immensely; completely understandable given the trauma they had shared.   

               “Okay mijo, don’t worry,” Eddie reassured soothingly, holding Christopher close as he cried.  “We won’t leave Buck, we can stay here as long as you want.”

              Christopher continued to cry but Eddie felt him bob his head and knew he understood.  Eddie felt one of Chris’s tears trickle down his neck and squeezed his son a little tighter, wishing desperately that he could take all of his pain away.  Christopher wasn’t usually a crier and Eddie knew it took a lot to make him this upset.  Guessing that there weren’t a lot of things that Eddie could say right now that would comfort Christopher, he merely held him, one hand gently supporting his upper body, the other wrapped around his hips.

              Eddie heard footsteps approaching a few moments later and looked up to see Bobby returning, holding a folded cot in his arms.  Eddie scooped Christopher up and stood again as Chim moved out of the way and Bobby unfolded the cot, sliding it into place right next to Buck’s.   There wasn’t much room in their little space so the cots were touching, but Eddie knew Christopher would like being that close to Buck anyway.  Christopher had always been very tactile, seeking touch when he was upset and always reaching out to touch things and people when he wanted to express himself.  As such, Eddie was not surprised that Christopher immediately reached out and touched Buck’s uninjured arm once Eddie had laid him down on the cot.  

              “They’re going to be inseparable after this,” Hen said softly with a smile as she watched Christopher settle in, never removing his hand from Buck’s bicep, even as Eddie slipped another folded towel under his head and covered him up with a blanket.

              “I think you’re right,” Eddie agreed as Christopher’s eyes closed, his small body relaxing within seconds as he nearly instantly fell asleep.   “And he already loves Buck like a big brother.”

             “Like a second dad, more like,” Chim commented quietly, adjusting Buck’s drip and shrugging unapologetically as Eddie shot him a sideways look.  Hen’s lips twitched  but she didn’t say anything as she wrapped a long length of gauze around the stack of gauze squares already on Buck’s arm wound, tying them into place.

          “There,” Hen said, sitting back on her heels and glancing over Buck’s body before rising to her feet.  “That’s about all we can do for him for now.”

          They all paused to listen as a call came over the radios and Bobby frowned, not wanting to leave but knowing they needed to help other people.  Buck was stable now, and he was resting.  He would be okay.  Eddie would be with him as well, watching over both him and Christopher, and Bobby knew Eddie would never let anything happen to either of them, which was comforting.

          “Come on,” Bobby said, gesturing to Chim and Hen and jerking his head back in the direction of their rig. 

          “Here.  If Buck wakes up, try to get some sugar in him,” Hen said, tossing a juicebox to Eddie, who caught it automatically.  Eddie nodded and stepped out of the way as Chim moved past him, giving him a bracing clap on the shoulder.  Hen smiled at Eddie and put a hand on his back, a wordless gesture of comfort, as she followed Chim past him.  Eddie watched them until they were lost in the crowd and he was unable to pick them out anymore, then sighed and looked down at Buck and Christopher’s sleeping forms.   A passing nurse handed him a couple of extra blankets and he gently laid a second over Chris, just in case, setting the extra aside for the time being.

          There were no chairs anywhere so Eddie simply sank to the ground, crossing his legs and running a weary hand through his hair.  Suddenly finding himself with nothing to do, watching over the two people that mattered most to him in the world while they slept, left his mind completely free to wander and obsess over the thoughts he’d been holding back.   Eddie reached out for the extra blanket and draped it around his own shoulders, more for comfort than any sense of chill.  He pulled the fabric closer around him as his mind raced, showing him false, imagined images of Chris’s lifeless body, drowned in the wave, images of Buck floating face down in the ocean, then washed up on the beach.  Real images of the fire truck explosion and Buck lying there, dying in the street as they were forced to wait off to the side.  Buck collapsing at his own welcome back party, blood dripping from his mouth as he blacked out and hit the patio floor.  Multiple images of Buck in hospital beds after so many accidents, surgeries and recoveries, interspersed with Christopher’s multiple hospital stays when he was younger.  

          Eddie felt a tear slip down his cheek and cleared his throat, suddenly back in the present as he shook himself, trying to clear all the unwanted images from his mind.  Some of the things he had seen weren’t even real, and the rest, well… it did no good to dwell on the past, Eddie knew that.  Instead, he had to focus on what was right in front of him.   Eddie wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, sniffed, and looked over at Christopher.  His son was sleeping very peacefully, completely tucked under the blankets except for his arm, his hand still loosely resting on Buck’s bicep. 

              Eddie’s eyes followed the trajectory of Christopher’s arm and up Buck’s until he was staring at Buck’s face, seeing him clearly for the first time since he’d dropped off Chris that morning.  Buck’s features were slack and it was clear he, too, was deeply asleep, his chest rising and falling rhythmically every few moments.  Eddie’s gaze wandered over Buck’s face, eyes tracing the angry red lines that marred Buck’s skin across his cheek and continued over his brow.   The dark purple bruise beginning to blossom over the far side of his cheek at the origin of the cuts, where something had clearly struck him hard.  The patches of scraped skin on his forehead, his other cheek, his arms.  The starkly white gauze wrapped around the wound on his forearm, stained crimson in the centre as the blood continued to slowly ooze.  The rips and tears in his clothing that hinted at more wounds hidden beneath the fabric.  

              Hen and Chim had said that Buck had no major injuries beyond the deep cut on his arm, but it was still painful to see him so banged up. He looked like he’d been to hell and back, and Eddie swallowed hard as he imagined all that Buck had been through that day. Being caught right in the direct path of a tsunami alone would have been horrifying and daunting enough even without a child he was responsible for.   Images of both Buck and Christopher being tossed around like ragdolls in the water permeated Eddie’s brain and he cleared his throat, trying to shake them away.

              Eddie had thought Christopher might be dead for about fifteen seconds and his entire world had come crashing down around him.  Buck had thought that Christopher might be dead for the whole day while he drove himself to the brink of collapse as he travelled miles and miles, endlessly searching, no doubt in a constant state of panic and terror.  No wonder he’d barely been able to string a sentence together when Eddie had confronted him.  Eddie could only imagine how scared, how heartbroken, and terrified Buck had been to break the news to him.  Eddie knew how deeply Buck felt things and knew he would have been consumed with guilt on top of his own panic and exhaustion.  Eddie was honestly surprised Buck hadn’t collapsed long before Eddie had seen him there, but understood that the adrenaline, that desperate need to keep looking for Christopher, had driven him past what his body would normally have endured.

              Eddie continued to watch Buck’s face as he slept, unable to tear his gaze away, thoughts continuing to crowd his mind.  Thoughts of how grateful he was, how much he owed Buck for risking his life multiple times to save Christopher.  How he wished Buck hadn’t run himself into the ground in his desperation, but at the same time, beyond grateful that Buck loved Christopher enough to push himself so far.   How thankful he was that Buck never gave up.

              Eddie wasn’t sure how long he sat there with his thoughts, listening to the sounds of Buck’s and Christopher’s soft snores, the bustle of people in the distance.  There were patients nearby on either side of them but it was mostly quiet now, most people having been attended to.  A cool breeze blew by them, ruffling Eddie’s hair, bringing with it the smell of the ocean.  Movement from Buck drew his eyes and Eddie realized Buck was shivering in his sleep, his brow creasing over his closed eyes.   Eddie looked around and realized there were no more blankets so he took the one from his own shoulders and gently draped it over Buck, covering both his arm and Christopher’s, then carefully tucking it around Buck, trying to keep out the wind.  The cool air made goosebumps prickle on his skin but he ignored it, far more concerned about their well being than his own. 

              An eternity seemed to pass as Eddie sat there, shifting his position every once in while, wincing as his muscles cramped.  After a long time he stood up and walked a few feet away, stretching his legs, rubbing his hands over his arms to warm himself up.  He pulled out his phone and looked down at it, realizing belatedly that he’d missed several calls from Buck’s sister.  Assuming she was calling about Buck, Eddie figured he should call her back so she could stop worrying.   Eddie hit her number and waited, the phone ringing multiple times until he assumed a voicemail was about to kick in.  Instead, Maddie answered at the last possible moment.

          “Maddie?  It’s Eddie,” Eddie said, pacing a bit as he talked, quickly continuing so he could reassure her.  “I’m here with Buck, he’s okay.  He’s sleeping, but he’s going to be fine.”

          “Oh thank God.” Maddie’s voice was clearly strained and she sounded as though she was about to cry.  “I talked to him a couple of hours ago and he sounded awful.  What about Christopher, did he… did he tell…”

          “Christopher and Buck are both fine,” Eddie said, his heart pounding as his brain tried to absorb the words and reassure himself that they were true, glancing back at them both.  “A woman brought Christopher to me right as Buck was trying to tell me what happened.”

          “I’m so glad, Eddie,” Maddie said, her voice full of relief.  “Look, I’m trying to get down there but traffic is impossible, I’ve gone maybe ten blocks in the last hour.  I figure it will take me at least another hour, maybe two.  Are you okay staying with Evan?   Or can someone else, if you want to go home?”

              “No, it’s fine.  I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie told her firmly, shaking his head.  He was not leaving Buck’s side himself unless Christopher needed him to, at least not without making sure someone else from the 118 or Maddie herself was there.  

              “Good, I just… don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up.” Maddie’s voice was filled with trepidation and Eddie could sense something greater in her words, but he didn’t push her.

              “He won’t be,” Eddie assured her.  “Just get here when you can, drive safe.”

              “Thanks, Eddie.  See you soon.”

              Eddie hung up the phone and stretched, his back cracking in several places as he arched it, peering around him.  A few people walking around pulling a wagon full of bottles of water approached him and he gratefully accepted a bottle for himself and a backup for either Buck or Christopher if they woke.  The woman in charge of the crew pressed several granola bars and a package of dried fruit into his hands as well.  He thanked them as they moved on and returned to Buck’s side, not liking even being a few feet away from them.  

              Eddie sat himself back down at Buck’s side, setting the food and water beside him.  He forced himself to drink some of the water but only picked at the dried fruit as he watched them sleep, again lost in his weary thoughts.  He suddenly remembered the phone message he’d left Buck, telling Buck he was glad they were missing the tsunami and hoping they were having fun.  It felt like a punch in the gut when he realized that he’d been envisioning them having a great time when in reality, Buck had been running screaming through the streets and Christopher had been missing, probably scared out of his mind, wondering where Buck was.   Eddie chewed on his lip, glad that Buck would never hear the message, despite knowing it was silly to feel guilty for it;  how could he possibly have known what was happening?! 

              Another hour or so passed, and Eddie fell into something of a trance, staring off into the distance, the packet of dried fruit lying forgotten in his lap.  Someone let out a sudden shout a few tents down, scaring him out of his stupor; he started rather violently, knocking over his bottle of water, which he had apparently forgotten to cap.  Eddie swore out loud as cool water spilled over his pants and he frantically grabbed for the bottle, quickly capping it and sighing.

              “Eddie?”

              Eddie froze, his heart leaping as Buck’s voice, barely a whisper, drifted to his ears.  Shaking water off of his hand, Eddie sat up quickly, shifting into a kneeling position at Buck’s side and looking down at him.

              “Buck?  You okay?”  Eddie asked, reaching out and putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder.   Eddie watched as Buck’s eyes very slowly started to open, eyelids fluttering sluggishly.  After a moment, his eyelids finally parted and Eddie watched as Buck blinked many times, trying to clear his vision.

              “Eddie?” Buck whispered again, this time in recognition, as his blue eyes finally found Eddie’s brown.  Eddie noticed one of his eyes, the one with the cuts just barely missing it, was bloodshot, and wondered again what had hit him in the face.  

              “Yeah Buck, it’s me, it’s Eddie,” Eddie said, his tone the soft one he usually used when consoling Christopher.  “How are you doing?”

              Buck peered at Eddie as though trying to figure out how to answer the question.  Eddie could only imagine how foggy his brain must feel and gave him a moment to breathe, to gather his bearings.  Buck blinked a few more times and turned his head slightly, looking up at the ceiling of the tent they were in, his brow creasing just slightly as he clearly wondered where they were.  Eddie squeezed Buck’s shoulder, trying to help him wake up a bit.  Eddie was just wondering if he should speak again when Buck inhaled sharply.

              “Christopher,” Buck gasped, moving as though he was about to push himself into a sitting position.  Eddie gripped his shoulder firmly, holding him down as his eyes grew wide and he clearly began to panic.

              “Eddie, Christopher… I n-need to find him…” Buck’s voice broke as he pushed weakly against Eddie’s grip, trying desperately to move, and Eddie realized he must not remember seeing the woman hand Christopher over to Eddie.

              “Buck,” Eddie said firmly, but Buck continued to struggle, not hearing him.  “Buck!”

              His voice was louder this time, more direct, and Buck stopped struggling, looking up at him, the fear in his eyes breaking Eddie’s heart.

              “Buck,” Eddie repeated, more softly this time.  “Christopher is fine.  Who do you think is touching your arm right now?”  

              Eddie nodded to Christopher’s small hand, which still rested on Buck’s arm, exposed as the blanket had slipped off them when Buck had tried to thrash.  Buck stared at Eddie, trying to absorb his words, his breathing ragged and shallow.  Eddie could feel Buck trembling under his grip and eased off a bit so Buck wouldn’t feel trapped.

              Eddie watched as Buck’s head slowly rose until he spotted Christopher’s hand, and then his head whipped to the side, taking in the sight of Chris deeply asleep on the cot beside him.   Tears welled in Buck’s eyes as he gaped, mouth moving wordlessly for a few moments, completely at a loss.

            “That’s… that’s really him?” Buck croaked, blinking rapidly through his tears and peering down at Christopher before looking up at Eddie.  

            “Yeah, Buck,” Eddie said gently, feeling tears well in his own eyes at Buck’s emotional reaction.  “That’s him.  Touch him, see for yourself.”

            Buck looked almost scared at the prospect but slowly lifted his uninjured hand.  Eddie could see it shaking as Buck hesitated, then he swallowed hard and touched Christopher’s head.  Eddie watched as fear and trepidation turned to awe and relief on Buck’s face, and Buck’s hand, barely touching the side of Christopher’s face, slipped into and ruffled Christopher’s hair gently.  

            “It’s him, Eddie,” Buck choked, and Eddie watched Buck’s face scrunch up as he fought back a sudden wave of sobs. 

            “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Eddie gripped Buck’s shoulder once more, trying to reassure him.  Eddie could tell that Buck’s emotions were completely shot and that he was seconds away from breaking down. 

            The enormity of Buck’s relief overwhelmed him and he suddenly began to cry.  He was a bit embarrassed to be sobbing in front of Eddie so he covered his face with his blood-stained hand, not even noticing the bandage on his forearm.  He couldn’t believe it was all okay; that Christopher was right there next to him, sleeping peacefully.

            “Hey, Buck, it’s okay,” Eddie said soothingly, pulling his arm away from his face so he didn’t further hurt his arm and looking directly into Buck’s tearfilled eyes.  “It’s okay to cry, man.  You had a hell of a day.”

            Buck choked a little at this and coughed, feeling his sinuses clogging as he cried, making it hard to breathe while lying down.  He felt Eddie’s hand slide beneath him and pull on his shoulder gently.

            “Let’s sit you up,” Eddie said, and though Buck resisted at first, he eventually let Eddie slip his hand behind his back and essentially lift him into a sitting position.  Buck’s muscles were incredibly weak and screamed with the effort of sitting up and he winced, grateful for Eddie’s steadying hand on his back. 

            Buck’s shoulders shook and he buried his face in his hands as all of his emotions overwhelmed him at once.  He was so exhausted, so completely unable to deal with anything he was feeling that he just sat there and cried, Eddie rubbing bracing circles into his back, letting him get it all out.  

            After many long minutes Buck’s broken sobs turned to little gasps and sniffles, but Eddie continued to rub his back placatingly, not wanting to pressure him to stop sooner than he needed to.  Buck slowly pulled his shaking hands away from his face, which was pink and blotchy from crying, his eyes puffier and bloodshot than they had been before.

            “S-Sorry,” Buck whispered with a bit of a hiccup, sniffing and trying to control his facial expression, wiping his hands on the blankets covering his legs.  Eddie handed him a tissue and he wiped his eyes gratefully, blowing his nose with his trembling hands.

            “Don’t ever apologize for being upset,” Eddie said with a shake of his head.  “You have gone through a hell of a lot the last few months, I think you’re allowed to cry.”

            Eddie’s words were bracing and Buck gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement.  Eddie had a point, he supposed.  There was a crinkle of plastic and Buck looked around to see Eddie stab a straw into the hole of a juice box.

            “Here, drink this,” Eddie said, holding it out to him.  “You need sugar.”

            Buck reached out for it, curling his weak fingers around the edges, noticing the IV in the back of his hand for the first time.  He glanced at his other arm and saw the gauze wrapped around it and frowned.

            “Did… did I pass out? I don’t remember anything but trying t-to find…” Buck trailed off, looking down at Christopher, unable to finish the sentence.  

            “Yeah, you collapsed almost the second you saw Christopher,” Eddie explained gently, reaching out and putting his hand under Buck’s and lifting it towards him, encouraging him to drink.   “Bobby, Hen, and Chim caught you and took care of you.”

            Buck closed his chapped lips around the straw and sucked, letting out a small noise of relief as the cool juice hit his tongue.  He was almost surprised by how good it tasted, but after he’d used so much of his energy he supposed anything he put in his mouth right now would taste like manna from heaven.

            “I-I don’t even remember seeing them,” Buck said after a moment in a confused tone, forcing himself to take small, methodical sips of the juice rather than draining it all at once like his stomach wanted him to do.  

            “You’re beyond exhausted,” Eddie said, taking Buck’s empty juice box when he was finished and handing him another.   “You’ve been running on fumes for hours, I’m not surprised at all that you have some memory loss.”

            Buck shifted uncomfortably as he slowly drained his second juice box.  The horrible memories he did have of the day were all starting to come back to him and he let out an involuntary whimper as he felt flickers of residual fear.  He looked over at Christopher again to reassure him that he was really there, his eyes lingering on Chris’s peaceful expression.  Buck was relieved beyond words that someone had found Christopher and that he wasn’t hurt.  At the same time, he felt overwhelmed with a heavy cloud of guilt for not being the one that had kept him safe in the first place.

            “I am so sorry, Eddie.”   Buck’s voice cracked as he spoke suddenly, and as Eddie looked at him, he saw Buck’s expression crumple, his emotions raw.  “I-I should have been there for him, I t-tried but I lost him…”

            “Buck…” Eddie had to take a deep breath to control his own emotions, not wanting to upset Buck further.  “You have nothing to be sorry for.  He told me you saved him.  Along with a bunch of other people.”

            “Yeah, well,” Buck shrugged dismissively, looking away.  “I was trying to help someone else when Christopher fell off the rig we were on top of.  I l-looked away for ten s-seconds and he was gone.”

            “That’s not your fault, Buck,” Eddie tried to convince him, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder again, trying to banish the image of Christopher toppling head-first into the water off the top of a fire truck.  “Shit happens.  You did your absolute best.”

            “Well my best wasn’t good enough, was it?” Buck asked bitterly, brokenly.  “If it was, I wouldn’t have lost him.”

            “You saved him,” Eddie emphasized, hating the self-loathing tone in Buck’s voice.  “It was a damn tsunami, Buck.  You managed to find him and pull him out of the first wave, that alone is incredible.  You could have died then and there.”

            Buck shrugged, shaking his head, clearly unconcerned with his own mortality, his voice breaking again as he spoke.

            “I’m fine, I-I was fine.  It doesn’t matter what happened to me, I just needed to make sure Christopher was safe and I f-failed.  But I tried, Eddie, I-I swear to you, I tried.”  

            Buck weakly waved away Eddie’s words and Eddie exhaled sharply, frustrated with Buck’s refusal to see that none of it had been his fault, but unwilling to scold him when he was in such a state.  Eddie knew Buck had tried, it was painfully obvious how badly Buck had wanted to protect Christopher, but it seemed Buck was the only one who couldn’t see it.

            “Buck.  Look at me,” Eddie demanded, his tone firm but still gentle.  Buck reluctantly glanced in his direction, slowly turning his head to look at him properly, though Eddie could tell he didn’t want to.

            “Thank you for saving my son,” Eddie said, reaching out and gripping Buck’s bicep, squeezing it tightly, trying to convey how much he meant his words.  Buck started to protest, but Eddie interrupted him, cutting him off and not allowing him to speak.

            “No, Buck.  You did save him.  Even if you lost him, he is still alive because of you.  And you nearly killed yourself from exhaustion to find him after that, how could you ever say that you failed?  You did literally everything you could possibly have done.  You did everything I would have done had I been in the same position.”

            Buck just looked up at him, and there was plenty of lingering doubt and guilt in his eyes.  He still wanted to apologize, wanted to try to make amends for not keeping Christopher at his side every second, but he was so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that he just couldn’t bring himself to argue anymore.  His head drooped and he nodded slightly, acknowledging Eddie’s words.

            There was so much more that Eddie wanted to say, but he could tell there was no point.  He had a sneaking suspicion that Buck wouldn’t even remember this conversation once he’d finally slept all of this off, so Eddie refrained for the time being, making a mental note to thank Buck again the next time he saw him.  

            “Drink,” Eddie said instead, slipping his hand from Buck’s arm and tapping the juicebox still loosely gripped in Buck’s hand.   Buck obeyed wordlessly, bringing his shaking hand up and sipping at the juice in silence, avoiding Eddie’s eyes once more.  Eddie watched Buck watching Christopher sleep and sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair, wishing he could get through to him.

            Eddie encouraged Buck to drink a third juice box and managed to get him to eat most of a granola bar before he was swaying where he sat, clearly about to pass out from exhaustion once more. 

             “Are you staying here?” Buck asked, his voice growing fainter as Eddie helped him lie back down, resting his head on the towel-pillow.  Buck had to fight to keep his eyes open as sleep beckoned immediately, peering blearily up at Eddie.

            “Of course,”  Eddie said with a nod, patting Buck’s shoulder.  “I’ll be right here.”  

            “Thank you,” Buck sighed, his voice so quiet now that Eddie barely heard the words.  

            In seconds, Buck’s features relaxed and his head gently lolled, his breathing evening out as he slipped into unconsciousness once more.  Eddie felt a pang in his chest as he noticed Buck’s uninjured arm had slipped down and was around Christopher’s slumbering shoulders, as though Buck was trying to reassure himself even in sleep that Christopher was really safe.  Fondness for both of them swelled his heart as he watched them sleep, shifting back into an uncomfortable cross-legged position beside them.  He popped the last bit of Buck’s granola bar into his mouth and then let out a long breath, feeling extremely weary.  He lost track of time - though he knew it must have been another hour, at least - his head eventually dropping into his hands, his eyes slowly closing as his own exhaustion caught up with him..

            “Eddie?”

            Eddie jumped, startled out of a light sleep by Maddie’s voice and her hand gently touching his shoulder.  He had no idea how much time had passed and he blinked up at her, slightly confused.

            “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” she said softly, sinking down to her knees beside him and looking over Buck, her face full of worry as she examined his wounds, ever the nurse.

            “S’ok,” Eddie said a little thickly, shaking off the haze of sleepiness and shifting away from her so she could get closer to Buck.   He rose to his full height, grunting from the stiffness in his legs and back, walking a few strides away and back, trying to get feeling back into his feet.  He moved back to the side of the cots and crouched down, checking on Christopher, as Maddie’s practiced hands skirted Buck’s face, arms, chest; clearly making sure for herself that he was actually okay.

            “I managed to get three juice boxes and most of a granola bar into him,”  Eddie said, watching Maddie take Buck’s pulse, frown lines appearing as she counted.  “He woke up for about ten minutes and then passed out again.”

            “He sounded almost incoherent on the phone,” Maddie nodded, releasing Buck’s wrist and sitting back on her heels, looking over at Eddie.   “He was on the phone with me when he first saw you, I was worried he was going to take off and keep looking for Christopher instead of telling you what happened.  I could tell he wasn’t doing well himself but he refused to tell me if he was injured.”

            Eddie hadn’t known that Buck had seen him before he’d seen Buck and he shook his head, wishing Buck hadn’t been so afraid to tell him.  Even when Buck had started to break the news and Eddie had thought Christopher was gone, he hadn’t for a second blamed Buck.  It was just like Buck to be moments away from collapse but still trying to push forward, recklessly trying to right a wrong that wasn’t even his fault in the first place instead of asking for help and knowing when he needed to stop for his own health.

            Eddie filled Maddie in on everything that happened and she listened raptly, shaking her head.  Tears prickled her eyes as Eddie described how Buck had collapsed into Bobby, Hen and Chim’s waiting arms and fallen unconscious moments later.  She reached down and gently stroked Buck’s cheek, carefully avoiding his wounds, pushing his matted curls off of his forehead.   Buck groaned softly and slowly opened his eyes again, stirred by her touch, blinking up at her.

            “Maddie?”

            “Evan!”  Maddie’s soft gasp of relief at seeing Buck’s eyes open made Eddie smile and he watched as Maddie leaned down and gave Buck an awkward hug.   “Are you okay?”

            “M’fine,” Buck mumbled, Maddie’s hair in his face as she hugged him.  As she sat up, one of the roving doctors approached and asked if he could examine Buck.  Maddie nodded and immediately stood, moving away to give the doctor room.  Buck was conscious enough to answer questions as the doctor spoke to him, and after the doctor took all his vitals, he stood and faced Maddie and Eddie.

            “If you can get him up and walking, he’s good to go home,” the doctor told them.  ‘He needs more fluids and a lot more rest but he should be just fine.  We’re going to need his bed.”

            Maddie thanked the doctor and she and Eddie looked down at Buck, who had closed his eyes and looked like he’d gone back to sleep already.  Wishing she could just let him sleep but knowing that he was taking up a bed that someone who needed much more urgent care could use, Maddie stooped over beside Buck and gently shook him, waking him up.  He groaned at her and opened his eyes again, clearly disoriented.

            “It’s time to go home, Evan.”

            A nurse stopped by to remove Buck’s IV, having been sent over by the doctor.  Maddie waved her away, explaining that she could remove the IV herself as she’d been a nurse, and the other woman seemed very grateful and hurried off, clearly with too many patients to tend to already.  Maddie sanitized her hands and then, as carefully as she could, slid the IV needle out of Buck’s hand, wincing as he inhaled sharply at the brief flash of pain.  She quickly taped some gauze down to his hand, securing it firmly as he was already bleeding quite a bit from the small hole.

            “Come on,” Maddie said bracingly, reaching down and helping Buck into a sitting position, then trying to pull him upright.   Buck was still so out of it that he was practically a dead weight and Maddie strained hard as she tugged on his arm, slipping it around her shoulders and heaving, just barely managing to get him up into a standing position.   Maddie stumbled slightly as Buck leaned heavily on her, his much larger frame threatening to overpower her at any moment.

            Eddie, who had just been about to scoop Christopher up, hurried forward and steadied Maddie, reaching for Buck instead.

            “Why don’t you take Christopher,”  Eddie suggested, pulling Buck’s weight off of her and propping Buck’s arm around his own neck, an arm around Buck’s back, holding him upright.  “I’ll get Buck to your car.”

            “Thank you,” Maddie said gratefully, hurrying around and leaning over, scooping the sleeping Christopher into her arms.  He was much easier to carry than it was to support Buck’s weight, and she walked along beside Eddie, cradling Christopher close to her chest.  Eddie half-carried, half-dragged a semi-conscious Buck towards the street where Maddie had parked.   

            Buck’s head bumped against Eddie’s as they went on, barely able to keep himself upright as he focused all of his attention on keeping his feet moving.   Buck kept mumbling apologies as his head collided with Eddie’s head or shoulder, but Eddie shushed him, not caring in the slightest.

            Eventually they made it to Maddie’s car and Eddie strained to open the back door with one hand so Maddie could set Christopher down.  She hurried around to the front and opened the passenger door, and Eddie guided Buck down into the passenger seat.  He flopped ungracefully into the seat, and Eddie quickly arranged him into the correct position, drawing the seat belt over his chest and reaching over his waist, buckling him in.   The act of moving to the car seemed to have wiped whatever strength Buck had gained from the few hours of sleep he’d gotten and his head immediately tipped back against the headrest, his eyes closed.  

            “Can I drive you guys home?”  Maddie asked as Eddie made sure all of Buck’s limbs were inside the car and then closed his door.

            “Just to the station, if you don’t mind,” Eddie said, crossing to the other side of the car and opening the back door.  “My truck is there, I can get Christopher home from there myself.”

            “You’re okay to drive?”  Maddie asked, eyeing him closely.  He knew she suspected that he’d be too emotional after everything that had happened, too worried about Christopher (and Buck) and too tired.   Eddie gave her a tight smile, nodded, and opened the back door nearest Christopher’s head, lifting it gently and getting in, settling Christopher in his lap as Maddie got into the driver’s seat.

            It took a long time to get back to the station, the traffic not much better than when Maddie had tried to get to the VA hospital.  After a good hour stuck in the traffic jams she sighed and leaned back in her seat, massaging her temples and feeling drained.  Buck was snoring softly in the passenger seat and when she glanced in the rearview mirror, she saw Eddie’s head had nodded, his eyes closed as well, arms still wrapped around his son.  Smiling to herself, she kept quiet and drove on, letting them all sleep until she finally pulled up at the station a half hour later.

            Maddie pulled into the parking space and pressed the brake with a little more force than necessary, the slight bouncing motion of the car enough to shake Eddie out of his sleep, as she’d been hoping.  She hadn’t wanted to startle him for the second time in a row and she smiled at him in the mirror as he scrunched up his face tiredly and looked around, realizing where they were.

            “Thanks, Maddie,” Eddie said, stifling a yawn as he opened his door and slowly got out of the car, gently laying Christopher back down as he extracted himself.   “Just hang on a second, let me grab you something.”

            Maddie nodded and watched as he hurried off, looking over to make sure Buck was okay, now that she wasn’t driving and could see him better.  He was still dead asleep, head propped up by his seat belt, hands hanging loose in his lap.  She gently pulled his arm closer and examined the dressing on his wound.  The blood stain was bigger, and while it was fine for now, Maddie made a mental note to redress it before she left his place later.  

            Maddie heard a soft whimper from the backseat and turned to look, seeing that Christopher was moving restlessly in his sleep, making noises but no coherent words.  Not wanting him to wake up without anyone right there, Maddie got out of the car and hurried to the backseat, crouching down beside Christopher and gently rubbing his back, trying to soothe him.   He didn’t wake up, but his whimpers subsided after a few moments and he fell mostly still again, resting his head on Maddie’s arm.

            “Here you go,” Eddie said, returning with a kit in hand, though he quickly tossed it aside up onto the roof of the car as he saw Maddie crouching beside Christopher, panic immediately welling inside him.  “Is he okay?”

            “Yeah, I think he was just having a bad dream,” Maddie told him softly, carefully pulling her arm out from under Christopher’s head, thankfully not disturbing him.

            “He’s probably going to have a lot of those for a while,” Eddie said regretfully, the pain he felt for his son evident in his voice as he spoke.  “Thank you for helping with him.”

            “Of course,” Maddie assured him, and managed to swallow a slight gasp of surprise as Eddie hugged her gratefully.  She smiled into his brief embrace and hugged him back, understanding that he was full of emotions he was too tired to process at the moment.

            “I brought you an IV kit,” Eddie said, pulling away and pretending nothing had happened, retrieving the kit from the roof and giving it to her.  “So you don’t have to keep waking him up to drink.”

            “Oh, this is perfect, thank you,” Maddie said gratefully, smiling as Eddie nodded and then turned towards his sleeping son.  Maddie put the kit on her seat as Eddie scooped Christopher up, following him to his truck so she could open the door for him.   

               Eddie buckled Christopher in and hopped up into the driver’s seat, looking over Maddie’s head towards her car, and Maddie knew he was looking at Buck through the window.

            “I’ll call you later and let you know how he’s doing,” Maddie said softly, and Eddie’s eyes flickered back to her.

            “Thanks,” he replied, a little gruffly, and gave her a very small, tired smile.  “You both get some rest.”

            “You too.  Let me know how Christopher is.”

            Eddie nodded and then closed his door, starting up his truck.  Maddie watched him pull away and drive off, giving her a brief wave as he passed.  Maddie sighed and hurried back to her car, following Eddie to the main road and driving towards Buck’s apartment, thankful the traffic situation was easing slightly as time wore on.

            By the time they made it to Buck’s apartment, the black night’s sky was starting to lighten on the eastern horizon, and Maddie squinted at her watch.  It was very early in the morning and Maddie yawned as she got out of the car, moving around to the passenger side.  She opened the door and leaned down, reaching out and gently shaking Buck’s shoulder.   

            Buck woke with a startled gasp, looking around blearily in confusion, making soft, tired noises as he tried to figure out what was happening.

            “You’re home, Buck.  Come on, we just have to get you inside.”

            Maddie leaned across him and unbuckled his seatbelt, reaching for his hand once he was free.  Buck took hers automatically and let her pull him, turning his legs to the side and slowly standing up, his muscles stiff and aching.  Maddie was glad to see that Buck seemed marginally more awake than before;  he’d had at least a few hours solid sleep by then, plus the sugar and the one bag of fluids, so she was hoping he’d be able to make it into his apartment without knocking her down.

            She closed Buck’s door and draped his arm around her shoulders, slowly leading him towards his building.   He followed along, still not really talking, but at least not leaning the majority of his weight on her this time, able to shuffle along mostly on his own, holding onto her for balance.  

            “Do you have keys?”  Maddie asked as they got to his door, suddenly realizing she didn’t have her extra set, heart sinking at the thought of having to go back to her place before she could get him into his own bed.

            “I-I think so,” Buck mumbled, reaching down and patting his pockets.  Maddie heard a slight jingle and breathed a sigh of relief as Buck clumsily reached into his pocket, drawing out his keyring.

            “Only thing I didn’t lose,” Buck told her numbly, leaning on the wall as he handed over his keys, watching as she located the right one and unlocked the door.  Maddie touched his arm in sympathy, knowing how much of a hassle it was going to be to replace all of his IDs, bank cards and other stuff in his wallet, as well as get a new phone.  

            Maddie held the door open and waited patiently as Buck shuffled past her, sinking down onto the stairs leading up to his loft, the first possible place he could sit as his knees wobbled and another wave of exhaustion washed over him.  He ran a hand tiredly over his face, through his hair as Maddie closed the door behind them and bustled into the kitchen.   Maddie was unhappy to see many days’ worth of takeout containers and empty beer bottles littered on the counters and table - a definite sign that Buck had given in to his depression after not being able to work as a firefighter for so long - but she said nothing.  Now was not the time to bring any of that up, not with Buck so traumatized.

            “Do you think you can get up the stairs?” Maddie asked, watching Buck closely as he rubbed at his eyes.  “Or should I make up your couch?”

            “I’ll get upstairs,” Buck mumbled, reaching up and gripping the railing, pulling himself into a standing position with difficulty.  Maddie followed closely behind him as Buck slowly climbed the stairs, each step a major effort, though she supposed he’d gotten used to hauling himself up while his leg was recovering.

            Buck finally reached the landing and almost immediately collapsed on his bed, leaning heavily on the railing at the top of the stairs, his breathing fast and shallow.  Maddie quickly looked through his drawers, finding him clean clothes.   Buck leaned his hips on the railing and reached down, fumbling with the hem of his shirt, but his hands were unsteady and the fabric kept slipping between his fingers.  Maddie watched him struggle for a moment and then stepped forward, starting to pull his shirt upwards, but Buck stopped her, making a noise of protest.

            “Oh grow up,” Maddie chided gently, shooting him a look.  “I’ve been taking care of you since you were a toddler.  Just let me help you.”

            Buck hesitated and frowned, but allowed her to help him peel off his dirty, ruined clothes and get into a clean t-shirt and cotton pajama pants, too tired to argue.   Maddie pulled back the fluffy duvet on his bed and he sat down, his head dropping into his hands, resting his elbows on his knees as he waited for her to come back after she’d told him to wait.  It barely took her two minutes to return with a black med bag and a piece of multigrain bread spread with peanut butter on a plate, but he was already almost asleep in his sitting position.

            “Eat,” Maddie ordered, handing him the plate.  He took it automatically, feeling his stomach snarl as the scent of the peanut butter hit his nose.  So he ate, careful not to drop any crumbs into his sheets, as she set up the saline IV next to his bed.  He glanced apprehensively at it, but he knew better than to argue.  If she’d gone to the trouble of getting the IV kit, she must think he really needed it.

            “Done,” Buck said tiredly, holding up his empty plate a moment later.   He was feeling completely drained again and longed to simply lie down and bury himself under his duvet for the next week.  Even the awful memories of everything that had happened that day were dulled in the wake of his exhaustion.  Maddie took his plate and set it aside, reaching out and gently pushing his hair off his forehead, unable to stop the affectionate gesture.  Buck merely looked up at her, his eyes glazed, and Maddie smiled sadly at him.

            “Lie down.  Once I change your bandage and put the IV in you can go to sleep.”   

            Buck gratefully obeyed, pulling his legs up onto the bed and stretching out on his back, settling his head back on the pillows, practically melting into the softness of his mattress compared to the uncomfortable cot he’d spent hours on.  Buck’s eyes closed and he barely paid any attention as Maddie changed the dressing on his arm, already half asleep by the time she was finished.   He slipped deeper into sleep and was almost completely oblivious to what she was doing until he felt a sharp pain as she inserted the IV needle into the crook of his elbow, prompting a gasp from him, his head popping off of the pillow to look at her.

            “Sorry, sorry,” Maddie apologized soothingly, checking that she’d hit the vein and taping the catheter down.  “That’s all the pain you’ll feel, I promise.”

            Buck’s head slowly eased back down onto the pillow, trusting that Maddie knew what she was talking about.  He sighed deeply, watching as she cleaned up and put a glass of water down on his nightstand, his eyes closing not matter how much he tried to keep them open.

            “How are you feeling?”  Maddie asked, pulling the duvet over him and settling it over his chest, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside his hip.  

            “Tired,” Buck mumbled, forcing himself to keep his eyes open and focus on her.  “Th-thanks for taking care of me.”

            “Always,” Maddie replied softly, squeezing his upper arm.  “Just like when you were a kid.”

            Buck gave a tiny half-smile as his eyes closed again, and Maddie reached out to him, stroking his forehead, his cheek briefly.  Within seconds his body had relaxed, and she smiled as he began to snore.  Maddie carefully arranged his arm with the IV on top of the blanket and tucked it around the rest of him, making sure he was comfortable before she left him to sleep.   

            Maddie headed downstairs and spent the time waiting for the saline bag to drain cleaning up his kitchen, tossing all of the takeout containers and putting the bottles in the recycling.  She wandered around his apartment, collecting discarded clothes, magazines, a video game controller halfway under the couch, tidying everything she came across.   This had the dual purpose of helping him out by cleaning and also keeping her thoughts occupied so she didn’t dwell too deeply on all the times she had played nurse to him in the past, didn’t dwell on how worried about him she was.

            By the time she’d finished cleaning, he’d gone through both of the saline bags Eddie had given her.  Maddie could tell Buck was deeply asleep by this point;  he didn’t even twitch as she gently removed the IV catheter and taped some gauze over the insertion wound.   Smiling fondly down at him, remembering all the times she’d watched over him as he slept off some injury or sickness, Maddie leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.   She stood, feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out, seeing that Eddie had texted her, asking how Buck was doing.   Maddie sent him a picture of her sleeping brother, telling him all was good, then turned out Buck’s light and headed downstairs to nap on the couch.  She had been intending to go home, but she didn’t want to leave Buck alone, not when he might need her in the middle of the night.

                                                            * * * 

            The corner of Eddie’s lips twitched as he received Maddie’s text, zooming in on the picture of Buck’s sleeping form, eyes moving over Buck’s peaceful expression.  He could see that she’d taken good care of him and he was grateful, since he couldn’t be there himself.  Eddie looked down at Christopher, who was still deeply asleep, tucked in close to his side, feeling his heart swell at the sight of his son’s relaxed features.  Eddie was just glad this whole awful day was over.  He knew there was a lot of healing that needed to be done, both emotionally and physically, and that it would be painful for all of them.   But Eddie couldn’t help but feel eternally grateful, as he turned off his light and settled down, wrapping an arm around his son, that everyone was at least safe, warm, and with someone they loved.