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“So how have things been in Alfea?” Saul cautiously asked. After he escaped the Solarian guards on their way to the prison, he had called Sky on the phone he stole from one of the guards after both Farah and Ben didn’t respond. It had been a day since he was arrested and the boy was noticeably relieved to hear from his mentor and immediately agreed to meet him outside the Barrier to bring him water, his weapons and a jacket. Though it was not his original plan to drag Sky into any of this, he was glad to see him again. He was a fugitive, searched by the Solarian army and he had no idea what to do from this point on, but he was sure they would find a way to make things right again. He just needed Sky to relay a message to Farah or Ben if they were still at the school, then they could plan their next move.
Sky who was leaning against a tree next to him shrugged with his shoulders.
“Not good…” he grimaced. Saul strapped the sword to his back and sent the blond teen a worried look. He was still shocked to the core, from the knowledge that Andreas was alive and he couldn’t imagine what it must do to the boy. “I mean Rosalind has been headmistress for one day and the whole school seems to have changed. There is a threatening, gloomy aura now, not at all like it was with Headmistress Dowling.” At this, Saul pricked up his ears. “Rosalind is headmistress?” he asked his mind racing. How did that come to happen? Was it another one of Lunas commands? His thoughts immediately darted to Farah. She couldn’t have reacted well. Unease seeped through his body. Maybe they locked her up too? He reached inside and felt for that unbreaking bond that connected them. But there was still that strange muted fog around it, that he couldn’t break. It had been like this for some time now, starting shortly after they shoved him into that Solarian car.
“Yes.” Sky answered hesitantly. “Nobody knows what happened, but they told us that Aunt Farah took a sabbatical.”
The bad feeling in his stomach grew. A sabbatical? Farah? If the situation wasn’t so dire, he would’ve laughed out loud. The woman couldn’t even take a week off. But that just confirmed that his instincts were right. Farah would never abandon the school, and especially not leave it to Rosalind. They must have confined her somewhere. Maybe Rosalind held her prisoner and put her in stasis just like Farah had done with her all those years ago. That magically induced coma could be the reason for the foggy barrier that shrouded her end of the bond and prevented the Specialist from feeling anything. A grim motivation rose inside of him. If that was the case, he knew his next steps. He had to get her out of there and far away from that psychotic woman. Maybe Ben knew something that could help to break a powerful magical cocoon like that. He needed to contact his friend immediately.
“And well, nobody has seen her since yesterday. Not even packing her stuff.” Sky continued, worry evident in his voice. “Ever since you two went to bury those seven Burned Ones that turned back, she just vanished.”
Saul stopped dead in his tracks. His soldiers mind immediately zoomed in on the off detail. Seven Burned Ones? He helped Farah dig the graves, but there were only six corpses to bury. “Did you say seven Burned Ones?” He felt tension building in his body as his mind began to grasp the implications. “Sky there were only six.”
Sky stopped as well, surprise in his eyes. “But… there are seven graves behind the school.” His blond brows were furrowed in confusion, but Saul didn’t notice anymore.
Seven graves.
Farah was seen there last.
And now she was gone without a trace.
The world stopped turning as realization hit him with the force of a truck. The seventh grave it was…it must be…
He let out a choked sound, as everything turned blank, pain splitting his heart, his chest, his whole being. No Rosalind wouldn’t, she couldn’t…
...she would.
His mind raced trying to find any other explanation than the obvious one. But everything pointed in the same direction.
Falling to his knees, he couldn’t breathe anymore. Farah. She was…she was dead? The thought alone shattered his world.
It can’t be.
He felt for their bond again, felt for her, but the fog was impenetrable. Was this because she…because she wasn’t there anymore?
No…it can’t be.
She couldn’t be gone. She couldn’t just leave him here alone. She had to still be somewhere.
Slowly Saul stood up. Sky was talking to him, grabbing his arm, but the Specialist didn’t hear him. The world around him was muffled, blurry like he wasn’t even a part of it anymore. He didn’t care, couldn’t bring himself to care as he shrugged off the blond boy, unable to talk and explain it to him. Everything faded into nothing and he could only see one path in front of him. No matter where she was, no matter who stood in his way, he would find her. Suddenly all seemed very clear. Determined he locked his jaw and moved in the direction of the Barrier. He fell into a jog, then into a run, hoping the exertion would at least take the edge of the pain flaring in his chest. He knew the way, just like he had always known the way to her. He heard Sky scream behind him, but the boy couldn’t keep up. He didn’t pay any attention to his surroundings, his mind occupied by a million pictures, a million memories.
Farah’s proud smile as she watched her students learn and grow. The light and warmth in her beautiful brown eyes. Her smirk whenever she would throw one of her dry, sarcastic comments at him. Her warm and deep laugh, that was not often heard in public. The white glow in her eyes and the familiar feeling of her power when she used magic.
He saw her sitting behind her desk, writing page after page her brow furrowed in concentration. Relaxing on the couch completely immersed in the world of one of her many books, chewing on her lip as her eyes skim over the page. He recalled how it felt to hold her in his arms, her sweet scent of honey and paper mixed with the smell of the wind, wafting around him making him feel so completely at home. Her taste and the feeling of her soft lips on his. The utter love that shone in her eyes.
No.
The wonder that was Farah Dowling couldn’t be gone. The world needed her. He needed her.
Saul’s feet flew over the ground, as he jumped over roots and stones, not feeling the branches of the trees tear at his clothes. He reached the Barrier in a blur, not even halting as he jumped through the blue energy field. He didn’t care if someone saw him. The only thought in his head was Farah. Reaching the slightly hidden gate to the graveyard, he pushed it open bursting through the door.
As soon as he entered the little space, he was met by world-wrecking pain that slammed into him like a solid wall. There must have been a concealing spell around the place because as soon he crossed through the gate, the fog that had shrouded Farah’s end of their sacred bond suddenly lifted and he felt it.
All of it.
He felt what must have been Farah’s end.
It felt like his heart was torn out of his chest, their ancient bond ripped so violently that he fell on his knees, gasping from pain. His mind and heart were torn apart as a piece of his soul was shattered, the shards cutting deep gashes into the remaining parts with their edges sharp as steel.
Farah.
His partner.
His friend.
His love.
She couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t. Anguish seeped through every part of his body as a raw scream escaped his throat. She was the centre of his universe; she was his world. Without her he was incomplete. The sensation of the bond being torn apart lessened and his consciousness slowly recovered.
It can’t be.
Inhaling, the Specialist reached inside his mind, grasping for that space that their inseparable bond had occupied. But the part of her that had always been with him was different. Cold. Quiet. There was nothing left of the warm glowing sensation that was so unmistakably her. Just a grey sea of nothingness. Despair rose in him. She can’t be gone. In their times as soldiers, he had come close to losing her multiple times. He had raged and feared and prayed to all the gods that might hear him. But he hadn’t lost her. And the pain he felt then, couldn’t be compared to this utter devastation. He couldn’t have imagined this. Never this.
Grey. Silent. Cold.
Not at all what Farah was. No not at all what Farah is. He refused it, refused the thought of her in the past tense.
Getting on his feet, he staggered in the direction of the graves.
Reaching the spot where they buried the Burned Ones, he faltered, stumbling to a halt. The six graves they dug together were still there, accurately lined up, white flowers growing on the brown earth. But there was indeed a seventh one in front of the others, slightly turned in a different angle. On this seventh grave, even more of the beautiful flowers grew, covering the entire ground, so the earth was barely visible anymore. His strength left him as the pain again knocked the air from his lungs. He felt the tears obscure his vision, running down his cheeks in salty trails as he fell on his knees again.
It can’t be.
His love, his life, reduced to a batch of earth and flowers. Gently he reached out and touched one of the delicate plants. The petal was soft and fragile under his thumb, as he swiped over it in the softest caress. His breath hitched as sobs tried to break free again.
No, it can’t be.
He wouldn’t allow it. As long as he lived, Farah Dowling would too. He would get her back. She was there, she was right there and he would get her back. Needed her to be back in his arms. His fingers dug into the earth.
He would get her back. He would drag her out of the earth, wrestle her from the claws of death itself if need be. She would live, for there couldn’t be a world without her.
Grabbing a hand full of earth, he threw it behind him, before grabbing another. As he was about to rip away the flowers, to get to the woman he loved, his hand was encircled by an unyielding vine holding it mid-air. Whirling around he saw Ben standing behind him, a pained expression on his face. “Ben, let me go.” Saul hissed and jerked on the vine. He had to get to her. Had to save her. But it held fast and before he knew it, his other hand was restrained too. “Ben!” he pleaded, his voice shaking from pain and anger. “Let me go.”
“Saul, I know this is hard. Believe me, I know.” Bens voice was shaking as well and he saw tears glistening on the face of his old friend. “But you can’t change it.” He whispered.
The pain and desperation in his chest were numbing, devouring him from within. He couldn’t take it anymore; it would kill him. A scream broke from his throat so, raw that it seemed to cut through the very fabric of the world.
“No! I won’t accept that!“ he strained against the vines holding him back thrashing to break free, to get to her. But more vines and roots slung themselves around his torso pulling him back, away from the grave. Saul clawed at the earth, trying to crawl towards it again. “Nooo! NOOO!” He fought with every fibre of his being, the vines cutting into his skin, drawing blood. But he couldn’t care less. “I need to get to her! I NEED her!” he screamed, kicking and fighting the plants, the pain inside him completely overshadowing the physical pain. “Saul, Saul!” Ben tried to get to him as he continued to fight, pushing against the plants. “Please Saul I don’t want to hurt you. And Farah wouldn’t want that either.”
Her name hit him like a blow to the guts. Farah. Strong, brave, beautiful Farah. “She can’t be gone.” He whispered, his voice breaking as he stopped straining against Bens hold. “She can’t…”
Ben loosened the vines a bit. “I know Saul, I know.” He swallowed. “When…when I came here and realised…” His friend took a shaky breath before continuing. “when I realised that she’s gone I broke down. And you were gone too and Rosalind was here. I…I didn’t know what to do…I” His voice broke and Saul's heart tightened, even more, knowing that he had not just failed Farah but also Ben.
“So, I just tried to go on. For the children, because I knew that’s what she would’ve wanted.” He gestured to the grave, a sad smile on his lips. “But I came here every day and took care of the flowers. You see they are special; they are imbued with her magic I think, so they are the last part of her that is still here.”
Saul's heart shattered into even smaller pieces. He remembered the last time he saw her. As she was standing right there, looking down over the graves, her shoulders heavy with the burden of the new conflict on the horizon. The Specialist remembered their last conversation, full of dread and uncertainty of what was to come. Before he told her that they should go back to the school and she told him to go ahead, wanting a few more moments to collect herself. That had been her last words to him before he left her there.
He left her.
His body went completely limp.
He left her standing above those graves, to look after the school. He left her standing there alone. And merely minutes after that she must have been killed. He had sworn to always protect her even if it would cost his own life. But he failed. If he’d been there, he could have saved her. Farah was strong, Rosalind must’ve surprised her, otherwise, the mind faerie would’ve raised hell to protect her students and someone was bound to notice the fight.
Maybe he could’ve been there to have her back. Have her back like countless times before, in more battles than he could count, when he was there to protect her. But he left.
She died because he left her. The pain became unbearable. It was his fault that this remarkable woman was gone. Because he failed to assess the potential danger of leaving her there. He thought Alfea was save for the moment and that Rosalind must be in need of some time to recover before she made her move. That thought was so naïve he wondered how he could ever believe it. Rosalind was a general, a tactician. She obviously knew that striking fast and hard, taking them all by surprise when they were still shaken by the recent events was the best course of action. But at the moment of truth, he had failed to see that. He had failed all of them. And worst of all he had failed her. She was gone forever because of him. The pain drove him mad, clawing inside him like a monster. It was his fault, all of it. He went limp as his strength left him.
“I’m sorry” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” He dug inside himself, sending all his grief, pain and self-hatred to that place in his mind where Farah had been. “I’m sorry” he repeated. He needed her to know that. He felt the vines releasing their grip and crumbled on the floor, as Ben stepped back, leaving him space. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there.” Tears fell from his eyes again, leaving trails in his dirt-stained cheeks. He cradled the grey and lifeless end of the bond, everything that he had left of her in his mental arms. “Please forgive me.” He cried. “I should’ve protected you.” His voice broke. “Please forgive me, my love.” He tried to harness the shards that were left of his love for her, sending them down their bond. Just to let her know one last time, how much she meant to him.
Just as he was about to let go, he felt something. A whisper in the back of his mind, a tug of warmth that was there for the split of a second. It came through the bond. Saul’s breath hitched. It came from Farah! He dug deeper, reaching for her through their connection. He was greeted by more coldness and silence.
No, that couldn’t be she was there, she had been there just a moment ago. The Specialist searched farther, following the trail of their bond to the grave before him. No. No.
“Farah…” he whispered, “Farah, please.” Moving in front of the grave again, he suddenly felt warmth and light. An ember was quietly sitting amongst the vast ocean of nothingness. An ember full of colour, warmth and life. He reached for it, gently enfolding it with his mind. And suddenly he felt her, she was there, she was right there! But how? But where? How could he reach her? A thought sprang in his mind.
“Ben, what did you say about those flowers? “
“Uhm. They might contain traces of Farah’s magic.” He heard the surprise in the voice of his friend, as the earth faerie came up behind him. “And I think they have strong healing powers. But I didn’t dare to pluck one to try it out, because it felt…wrong.”
Saul moved closer to the grave again, concentrating on holding that glimmer in his mind as he tentatively touched one of the flowers. “Hold on Farah.” He whispered as he remembered how she felt in his mind, how their bond felt. The light at the farthest reaches of his mind grew brighter as the flowers started to glow. And there was a glimmering line, a fleeting link laced with light. As he carefully grabbed it, he felt her, felt her reaching for him through a viscous mass of cold nothingness. “She’s in there. In the flowers. I can feel her.” He panted. So, he started to pull on that tether, lightly at first but with increasing strength as he felt resistance. Soon he was pulling with all his might. Groaning with the effort he fell on all fours, but he didn’t stop, didn’t let go. He would fight to get her back until his very last breath. Ben grabbed his shoulder, shock was still written on his face. His efforts took effect as he felt the link moving ever so slowly. But it was too slow, too hard for him. Black dots started to appear in his line of sight. He couldn’t keep this up much longer. Then suddenly it seemed to become easier, the resistance decreasing. He heard Ben grunting beside him and felt the air prickling with magic.
Then suddenly there was a flash in his mind, so strong it sent him falling backwards, losing every feel for space and time for a moment. But when opened his eyes again, she was the first thing he felt. Their connection was back, and he could feel her again. Feel her relief, her confusion. Feel her living. She was back. She was back!
A song filled his blood. They did it. She was back. The pure joy brought tears into his eyes.
Then he felt a surge of panic through the bond, accompanied by fear and pain. She was still down there! He bolted up, scrambling for the grave. He had to get her out, had to help her.
“Saul!” he felt Bens hand on his again holding him back. “What happened? What did we do?” his voice was terrified.
Saul shrugged his hand off, beginning to tear out the now withered flowers.
“She’s alive. She’s back. She’s down there. “’ he panted, clearing away hand after hand full of earth. She was still afraid, not being able to breathe and see. Buried alive. I’m coming Farah! I will get you out. he sent through the bond.
Ben was utterly stunned, paralysed by shock not moving beside him, but Saul cleaved through the earth with his bare fingers, digging deeper and deeper. “Farah hold out!” he screamed aloud. Clearing away another layer of dirt his fingers brushed against something solid. Something moving. It was her hand! He gripped it trying to pull her up. “Farah I’m here!” Her fingers gripped on to him, the woman struggling to get up. Suddenly the earth moved away, clearing the grave and he saw her lying there, dirty and confused. But she was alive, and at that moment, she seemed to be the most beautiful thing in existence. As soon as her head was free to form the dirt, she began coughing, trying to get up. Saul immediately moved to her, sliding into the hollow that had been her grave, his hands pulling her up. His heart felt like it would burst. “Saul.” She rasped, her eyes blinking, moving over his face and taking him in. These beautiful brown orbs, so full of life and warmth.
They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, emotions flooding through their bond. Then he gripped her pulling her into his arms, as close as physically possible. Her arms grabbed onto his jacket, fingers clawing into the fabric. Her face was buried in his neck as he heard a sob escaping her mouth. Tears spilt over his cheek as his heart sang. He buried his right hand in her matted hair, holding her face to him. She was alive...
“I got you” I got you!” he whispered into her ear, burying his nose in her dirty hair as one of his hands rubbed up and down her back and he was rocking her back and forth. “I got you, love.” He placed a kiss to her temple and for the first time since Sky told him what happened, he felt like he could breathe again. Farah pulled away slightly, to look at his face again. Her tears had washed away the dirt and left two light trails on her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” She whispered; her voice hoarse. He felt her apology through the bond, her guilt at causing him so much pain. Gently he took her face into his hands, bringing their foreheads together.
“No.” he whispered, feeling her breath on his lips. She was breathing, breathing and living. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.” His thumbs moved over her dirt-stained cheeks as he sent all his relief, his joy and his love back through their bond. She sucked in a shaky breath, as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling herself even closer to him. After sharing their breath for another second, their lips met in a soft kiss, full of love and trust. He could taste the dirt on her lips, but he couldn’t care less. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was Farah. Farah who was alive and well in his arms. She pulled away again, only to bury her face in his neck once more, nuzzling his jaw with her nose. Then Saul, tightened his arms around the mind faerie, breathing in her scent mixed with earth.
“I swear to you Farah, I will never let you go again.” He whispered into her ear. He felt her hum against his neck, the sound reverberating through his body. “I would love that.” She muttered against his skin.
And the soft glow of the afternoon sun has never looked so beautiful before, bathing the little clearing in soft golden light as the Specialist held his faerie and time seemed to stand still for a small eternity.