Archive of Our Own

Sephy

'What next?'

It was a question that I had to ask. We hadn't stopped moving since we'd ran away from my baba at the LM hideout. We'd eventually found a bus stop, and separately we'd got on and got off, so as not to draw attention to ourselves. Callum had reached into his rucksack and taken a wad of money out of it (more money than I'd ever seen him have) and given it to me to pay with. We'd done the same trick with a train then, getting on separately, and not getting off again until we were well out of London and into Albion's countryside.

I'd been nervous the entire time, but when the train had pulled away and Callum had caught my eye on the platform, I had felt a wave of shaky relief wash over me. We'd been on the train for hours, and the day was starting to get on as we both headed for the exit, meeting up again properly down a side alley and hugging each other tightly.

Now we were in a small section of woods outside the village that we'd stopped at, and Callum had finally deemed it safe enough to call his mama.

I could sense her unasked question like it was radiating out of Callum's phone in waves… this huge expanse of unknown before us, turning into two words… what next what next what next what next what next…

When Callum hung up, I couldn't help but ask it, and as I said them the words seemed to turn to stone and sink down into my heart.

Callum looked at me and smiled. It was that little smile he had when his whole face seemed to soften. I wanted to stamp that smile into my memory so I could always look at it.

'We keep on running… keep on hiding.'

I had to push the question though and tell him what we both knew to be true.

'They'll kill you if they catch us.'

He looked at me again, hunched in on himself slightly. How could one person look simultaneously both so worried and so calm?

'So we don't get caught,' he said, with a slight breathy laugh that sounded more sorrowful than if he'd burst into tears.

Oh god, Callum. I needed more than that. I still felt like my body was shaking inside from everything that had happened.

He stood up. He was right, there wasn't anything else we could really do. We would have to keep on moving, and just make sure we didn't get caught. I stood up too, and when he put his arm around me, I felt a flicker of comfort.

All that talk of running away together, and we had actually done it. My heart felt full, even more so with the knowledge that in my belly was a perfect little mix of Callum and me, growing there, safe and warm. I'd never thought I could feel more connected to Callum, but there it was, physical proof that we were one, together. Our little baby.

We were going to have a child together. And Callum wanted it too, and from the bottom of my heart and every space in between, I loved him. Nothing could separate us, because how could you separate anything so perfect?

I felt wetness in the corners of my eyes. What…?

I was crying. Why was I crying? Was it from pure happiness? Or my body reminding me about the lead weight in my chest, telling me that this perfect moment was not going to last. It hadn't all sunk in yet, of course it hadn't. Not just the events of the last few days, but the choices we'd made that would affect our lives for a hell of a lot longer than that.

The bubble was still there, waiting to pop. In my head I knew I was picturing the happy life we would have together now. It was the same life I'd always imagined. Naturally, it had shifted a little throughout the last few weeks. Now my career was one spent campaigning passionately for equal rights for all of Albion's citizens. But we still had a big house and a swimming pool. There I was, sending my children off to play with their friends, with my husband pouring wine for me in the kitchen as we waited for guests to arrive at one of our beautiful parties in one of our beautiful houses. It was the same vision I'd always had, except now it was Callum who was my husband.

My privilege, my expectations for my life, they were stabbing me in the gut. I'd thrown all that away now, but it was like my ambitions for my life hadn't changed. Callum couldn't give me that. I wasn't even sure if I'd ever really wanted that, but at least I'd been expecting it. Now there was nothing, a void of unknown before us both. And I could try and tell myself that it was an exciting adventure and all I wanted, but that wouldn't dissolve this fear that was taking hold.

The tears were still coming, and I tried with all my effort not to sniff, but Callum still felt it.

'Sephy?' He stopped and pulled away from me, looking at my face, his eyes flickering between my own. 'What is it? What's the matter?'

'Oh, Callum,' I sobbed, and let the tears take me as I pulled him into a hug.

We were in the middle of a forest path, heading back towards the outskirts of the town, and Callum pulled us off to the side, so we were hidden by the trees again. He hugged me properly then, pulling me into him and letting our bodies slot together.

'Sephy, are you… you're not worried, or…'

I sniffed and tried my best to smile as I pulled away to look at him. 'Of course I'm worried, Callum.' I brought my hands up to touch his neck and tried to show him that I wasn't in any way worried about him. 'Just… so much has happened. So much has changed and now… Where are we going to go? What are we going to do? We can't be a proper couple, even without the police being on the hunt for you.'

I saw him gulp, and he didn't try to hide it. He never tried to hide anything from me, and I felt my heart glow in response.

'I'm worried too, Sephy.' He pressed his hands against the sides of my neck, his fingers running up through my hair. It made my spine shiver. Then he laughed softly and sadly again. He did that a lot. 'I've got us into such a mess, haven't I?'

I rubbed my thumb against his jaw. 'Callum, I hope I don't need to tell you this, but I don't hold it against you. Not in the slightest. What's happened has happened.' I paused, and we looked into each other's eyes for just a moment. 'Ever since we met… or met again, rather, a lot of utter shit has happened, hasn't it?'

Callum exhaled with laughter, and I thought I could see a slight watery shine to his eyes now.

'But we're here,' I continued. 'We're both here, together, now, and because of that I don't think I've ever been this happy.'

He had to wipe away at his own eyes now.

'We're going to be fine,' I said, nodding to reassure myself as much as him. 'I believe in us.'

Callum was crying, and I too felt fresh tears fall down my face. 'I'm the one who's supposed to be comforting you,' he said, as he laughed and touched his forehead to mine. 'I love you, Sephy.'

I turned my face upwards to kiss him, but he pulled away.

'One thing, and please don't take this the wrong way.'

I tried to stop my thoughts from getting ahead of me as I waited for what he was going to say next.

'It's going to be hard, and you're…' a grin slipped onto his face. 'You're having our baby.' He paused again. I think for a moment we both basked in that fact together. Then he closed his eyes like he couldn't let himself see my reaction. 'I want you to be safe... and healthy, and if that means that you have to go back to your family, even if it's just until you have the baby, or whilst I'm working out a plan, or laying low until they've stopped looking for me, I…'

'No.'

Callum opened his eyes and looked at me.

'No way, Callum.'

'But…'

'After everything I just said, you think I could…?'

'Sephy, please don't be angry with me for saying it, and of course I don't want you to, but...'

'No.'

'Sephy…'

'No, no, no NO NO!' I actually screamed the word, over and over, baking away from him and shouting it into the trees. Callum looked around worriedly, but I kind of enjoyed it. It felt therapeutic to shout, so I indulged a little more. 'Ahhh just NO!'

'Sephy! Shhh…'

'Never, Callum. Can't you understand how worried I would be if I went back and you were out here alone? No. I don't want us to be apart again.'

'Well, neither do I. Of course I don't.'

I frowned at. 'Then why the hell did you suggest it?'

Callum moved towards me again and reached out to take my hand. 'I just wanted to put the option out there. I didn't want you to feel trapped.'

'I don't,' I said bluntly. 'I feel like after weeks that I'm finally whole again.'

'Me too,' he said, with a playing smile. And then he kissed me. He held me to him with a new-found passion and urgency. I kissed him back, my fingers working their way through his hair and down the lines of his back.

I whispered his name, and he said mine back to me, a little louder and with a little more urgency.

I pulled at the back of his neck, pulling him down, and we slipped on to our knees, down onto the dry leaves. He shrugged off his rucksack and my hands found his jacket and pulled it down over his shoulders, my fingers running lightly over the bandage on the stab wound I'd given him. Callum said my name again, and I kissed him still, smiling and pulled him down as I lay backwards. He moved forwards between my legs and ran his hands up over my waist. I felt electric. Callum and I. There was nothing more perfect in all this world.

Callum

I should have been more aware, more on my guard, and yet everything around me, my sight, my smell, my taste, it was all Sephy. I was starting to feel hot, and the way she wrapped herself around me, arms and legs and lips, I felt so lost in the moment that the outside world didn't exist.

Until it did.

There was a yelling behind me that I initially didn't register, then in a split second someone had grabbed the back of my jacket and wrenched me backwards. I saw Sephy's eyes go wide and fearful for a moment before I was slammed into the ground on my back and had the full weight of someone's arm pushing into my windpipe.

I choked and spluttered as much as I could, but my vision was spluttering too and quickly I was starting to panic. I could just about make out the heavy-set man who was holding me down. He was a Cross.

'You Blanker bastard,' he yelled in my face, his spit flecking onto my cheek. 'How DARE you lay your Blanker hands on this woman.' He sounded posh and a bit pompous. Then he was shouting at someone else called Janet and telling her to call the police immediately.

I couldn't believe I couldn't push the guy off. I had trained as a soldier, but I could only wriggle desperately. The man felt like a ton of bricks on top of me.

In my panic I could hear Sephy's voice.

'Get off! Get off him.'

'Darling, listen,' said a female voice. 'Don't worry, you're safe now.'

'Have you called them yet?' the man cried. He was clearly getting tired from me struggling beneath him. I had been trying to push his forearm down and away from my neck, but I decided to instead focus on my legs. With a swift blow to his abdomen, as well as the combined effort of Sephy rushing forward to pull him off me, I managed to dislodge his arm from my neck and he fell sideways away from me.

I rolled over immediately and began coughing into the dirt. Sephy rushed over, her hands fluttering over me worriedly. As I finally got some decent breaths into my lungs she pulled me around into a sitting position, her hand rubbing my back in comfort. Still out of breath and kind of in a daze, I looked up at the people who had attacked us.

They were both Crosses. They were most likely married and looked old enough to be grandparents. There was a small dog on a lead rustling about the heels of the woman. She was staring at Sephy in utter amazement, whilst the man, who was now on his feet beside his wife, was staring at me with a look of dislike that would have given Jude a run for his money.

My breath hitched in my throat, and not just because I'd just been strangled. No, not Jude. Don't think about Jude now.

The man seemed to be trying to compose himself. He was breathing very quickly, but still looked like he was ready to go into action again at the drop of a hat. By the look of disgust that he was aiming at me, plague infested rats were more desirable to him.

Sephy was sat crouched with me on the leaves, and she clearly had a better hold of the situation than I did. I was still hunched over and coughing.

'I'm sorry, but I think you've really misunderstood.' She said, looking between them quickly. The woman, Janet, had her phone in her hand. 'Please don't call the police.'

Janet stepped forward and pointed at me with an accusing finger. 'He was assaulting you.'

Sephy looked at me. All I could do was cough in response. For a moment it was almost funny.

'No, he wasn't...'

'Don't be silly girl, look at you,' cried the woman. 'Your face is covered in tears. And we heard you screaming and shouting. We hurried over here and saw what he was doing to you, pushed down into the dirt like an animal…'

She spat the last word in my direction. I threw her a cutting look. The coughing had finally died down in my throat. In a husky version of my usual voice I said, 'You think I was trying to rape her?'

The woman stepped forwards and tried to pull Sephy up and away from me. 'Look, darling, if he's threatened you, you needn't be afraid now. We can take you away from him and get the police to sort him out.'

She spat the last words at me again, and whilst pulling at Sephy she brought her phone up and actually started dialling.

'No, no!' Sephy said desperately, as the man came in too and pulled her up and away from me.

I was starting to panic again. I scrambled to my feet, and I could hear the desperation in my own voice when I spoke. 'Don't please, please,' I pleaded with her. She looked affronted that I dared to even speak to her. 'You think I was trying to rape her? I would rather die than do that to anyone, let alone Sephy.'

They weren't even listening to me. The woman was struggling with Sephy, and the man took the phone out of his wife's hand and started dialling himself, whilst the little dog sniffed around at his feet.

'Just stop... STOP. Get your hands OFF me!' Sephy cried. The woman actually flinched and finally dropped Sephy's arm.

Sephy pointed at the phone in the man's hand. 'Don't you DARE press that call button.'

The man and women both just stared at her.

'Look,' Sephy said, holding up her hands and speaking very slowly, obviously trying to keep everyone calm. 'Please just listen to what I'm saying. Callum,' she moved over to me and grabbed me by the arm, 'hasn't done anything wrong. Hell, I'm crying because I'm happy, not because I'm scared. He wasn't trying to hurt me, he's my friend.'

Janet scoffed. 'Friends don't take advantage of lone women in the woods and...'

'Ugh, you don't get it, do you?' I said looking up and catching the woman's eye. I took Sephy by the hand and grasped it firmly, pulling her towards me. 'I'm not just her friend. I'm her boyfriend.'

Boyfriend seemed such an ordinary, almost underdeveloped way to describe what we were to one another, and I caught Sephy's eye as she looked up at me, almost like I felt bad for using it. Then she smiled almost conspiratorially. Dropping my hand she reached her arm around my back and gave my torso a squeeze.

The Cross couple just blinked at us.

'What do you mean you're her boyfriend?' said the man pompously, looking me up and down almost as if to double check. 'You're a…'

'...blanker bastard?' I finished for him. Sephy squeezed my shoulder again. I laughed, my previous panic turning into something close to anger. I pulled my hand up and inspected my skin mockingly. 'Would you look at that, Sephy, he's right! Thank god he pointed that out for us, that could have been really awkward.'

'Don't take that tone with me. I should still call the police.'

'What for?' I asked, my upset and anger churning and twisting into my voice. 'I wasn't... I would never try to hurt her.'

The man gave me a withering look. 'I only retired from the force a few years ago, lad. You know the rules as well as I do.'

I bit my tongue at that. He had us there. A blanker kissing a Cross he was in love with was as illegal as rape was. How dare I try to stake that kind of a claim on a Cross woman.

Sephy could surely feel me shaking. I took a breath, trying to keep my thoughts straight. I let my head fall back a bit and looked up at the branches swaying gently above our heads. 'Why,' I said under my breath, my voice wavering slightly. 'Why can't one person on this planet just leave us alone?'

The man looked at me quizzically.

'Madam, sir.' Sephy spoke softly. She could always do that. Speak so calmly and yet command such power with her words.

'We've not had a very positive interaction so far, and I'm sorry about that.' She moved away from me, taking my hand again, so she could move closer to the couple. 'I'm sorry if we scared you, but I have to tell you. Callum and I have been apart for a long time, and now we're together again, and I don't think I can remember ever feeling this happy.'

She looked back at me. There were still some tear tracks on her cheeks, but it almost added to the powerful effect of her. She had such a presence as a person, I couldn't believe she wanted to be mine.

Janet and her husband looked at each other, their faces unreadable.

'We weren't exactly flaunting it for the world to see,' Sephy continued. 'We're hiding in these woods in the first place because our love isn't allowed. And we are in love.' She stepped back towards me and stood innocently by my side, still clasping my hand. 'I love him.'

For a moment all my anger and hurt washed away, and I bathed in Sephy's words. Her declaration of love for me in front of these strangers, it was so refreshing to be owned like that, unashamedly.

I leant my head down and said softly into her hair. 'I love you too. Of course I do.'

She pulled away and looked up and caught my eye and the smile we shared then was the softest and most comforting thing imaginable.

The Cross man cleared his throat. I looked back over at the couple.

Janet was looking at us both now with a newfound distaste. Obviously, she had grievously misjudged Sephy's character.

'But you're right, Zane,' she said briskly. 'Even if he wasn't assaulting her,' she said, with enough venom as if I had been, 'they are both still breaking the law, and…'

Zane had been watching us carefully, but then he put his hand on his wife's shoulder and, catching her eye, shook his head.

Janet looked at him with eyes as wide as saucers.

'My dear, are you quite confident that this woman is not being threatened by this young man?'

Janet blinked. 'Well, yes. He’s not an immediate threat, at least.'

'In that case,' he said, and I saw him give Janet's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 'A big part of me feels that really it is none of our business.'

Janet actually took a step away from her husband in shock. She looked like she'd just realised her husband was a dirty great blanker too. 'Zane… but… shame on you! You used to be a police officer, of all things.'

Zane put his head up slightly in the air and said with what he obviously hoped was an air of dignity, 'And all my experience as a police officer has told me that sometimes you have to go with your gut instinct. Mine has got me out of many a tight spot, I can assure you. And this time, it's telling me that it's best if we don't get involved.' He gave me in particular a long look from under his bushy eyebrows. 'I can imagine the situation is already over complicated enough.'

I nodded with a somewhat grim expression.

'Well, I don't think that's a reason to not report a crime when we see one,' Janet said stonily, but Zane was already leading her away, and although she didn't look remotely happy about it, she went with only a few more mutterings of disagreement.

Sephy sighed in relief and turned to me, hugging me with a vicelike grip around my middle and burying her face in the fabric of my t-shirt. The couple still weren't out of sight, and as they were about to turn back onto the forest path Zane turned around to give us one last final look. It was interesting, really. He had to be the first policeman I'd ever met who I actually had an ounce of respect for.

'That was horrible. I really thought they were going to call the police,' Sephy mumbled into my chest. 'It's made me feel dizzy.'

I hummed in response. That had probably been Sephy's worst ever interaction with the threat of the law being against her. I was still musing over this fact when, as I reached up to hug her back, she suddenly felt heavily against me. She didn't feel right at all. She was slumped into me, and now she was drooping down my torso as I tried to keep her upright.

'Sephy… Sephy?'

I didn't even acknowledge myself shouting or calling them back, but suddenly the ex-police officer was running back around the corner towards us, his wife bringing up the rear.

'What's happened?' he asked briskly.

'I don't know… she hugged me and then suddenly she felt like a lead weight and I couldn't keep her upright.'

Janet came to kneel down next to me. Sephy was half lying across the floor and across my knees. Janet checked the pulse in Sephy's wrist and then pressed a hand to her forehead.

'It looks like she's just fainted. Try to calm down.' I only noticed then that my breathing sounded like I'd just completed a marathon.

'Can you carry her?' Zane asked me, and I nodded. 'I'd offer to, but I have a bad knee.'

'I can manage it.'

'Come on, we live just at the end of this path. We can take her there and then Janet can look her over properly.'

I didn't even think about it. I was scared to go back to their house, but I was also slightly terrified that they would leave me alone with Sephy and I wouldn't have a clue what to do with her and both her and my baby would just die out in the woods.

I was trying to tell myself, as Janet had said, to calm the hell down, as I slid my arms under her shoulders and knees and hoisted her up. By god, she was a lump.

It really wasn't far at all. Their garden gate opened up onto the woodland path. Zane held it open for me and I turned sideways to get both Sephy and myself through. Even in my panicked state I couldn't help noticing how nice it was, with deck chairs and a perfectly green lawn with a small fountain in the middle.

They let me in through the patio doors. Zane brought me through to the living room and I put Sephy down on the sofa.

Janet skirted around me immediately, obviously hyper aware of my presence, and bent down to look Sephy over.

'Like I said, it's most likely she's fainted. Her pulse is strong, but she is unconscious.'

I blinked at her. 'Well, yeah, I'd gathered that much.'

'Why would she have fainted?' asked the ex-policeman, standing at the end of the sofa.

'Well, I think…' I stumbled backwards, feeling my own tiredness in my limbs now, and reached up to rub my forehead. I sighed, trying not to let my guilt shine through in my voice. 'We've… she's been through a lot over the last couple of days. She's probably a little bit in shock. She's been pretty… scared.' I wanted to die when I said that word, because who was the god-awful person who had made her so frightened?

I took a breath and continued. 'And neither of us have really slept in ages, so she's probably exhausted.'

Janet wasn't looking at me, but her lips were pursed. 'Fainting is often caused by low blood sugar. When was the last time she ate?'

We hadn't eaten all day, or really drunk either for that matter. For me at least I felt like it must have been adrenalin that had been keeping me running all day. Sephy hadn't eaten the LM food I'd given her either. 'It's been a while,' I said, rather dumbly.

'Shock and no food, that makes sense,' Zane said, nodding.

'Is she going to be ok?' I almost whispered. 'What can I do…?’

'She'll be fine. We need to wait for her to wake up naturally when her body has had a chance to rest and circulate oxygen effectively. Then we'll need to make sure she eats and drinks something.' Janet took a blanket from the back of the sofa and pulled it over Sephy.

I was shivering a bit now, even though their house was warm. I was probably in shock a bit too, come to that, only I hadn't been nearly as scared as Sephy had been, or as mistreated. The reality of everything was probably getting to both of us.

Janet gestured in the air that they should all move back through to the kitchen. She wouldn't meet my eye, but as she moved forwards, I followed suit and followed her husband through to the kitchen. It was a bloody nice kitchen, with a spacious breakfast bar and a huge set of glass doors. The house altogether wasn't as grand as Sephy's, and clearly it was just the two of them who lived there, so there were no housekeepers or maids to think about, but they were clearly comfortable in their detached house in this safe and affluent countryside town.

I stood awkwardly against the wall by the dustbin and a poster about salsa classes.

I wanted this for Sephy and me. The prospect of mutual retirement, in a nice house in the country, in a marriage where we still did things like took salsa classes and cooked together and cuddled up on the sofa to watch films in the evening. All I could give Sephy was running and stress enough to make her pass out. We would never have anything that this Cross couple had. We couldn't even get married.

'You seem like you know a lot about health care.' I laughed slightly with nerves and tried not to let my awkwardness show through in the way I held myself.

'I was a doctor,' the woman replied icily.

'Ah,' I said, looking between them. They were both standing beside the counter at the other side of the kitchen. The woman was looking me up and down, at my hair and my shabby clothes and my rucksack. Anywhere but at my face. The man was doing the opposite, looking at my face unwaveringly. What did he think I was, some kind of animal about to snap and tear their throats out?

I took a breath and tried to be ordinary. 'That's quite something, a police officer and a doctor in one couple.'

'And what is it you do?' Janet asked, folding her arms.

I laughed, just a little bit. God, Callum, can you act any more nervous than you already are?

'At the moment I'm not doing anything.'

She tutted immediately. Clearly, I was living up to her expectations.

I didn't need to justify my life to these people, and yet I couldn't stop myself from trying to explain. 'Well, opportunities haven't been exactly plentiful, but I was in the army not too long ago.'

'The army? How…' said the man, before he narrowed his eyes at me with understanding. 'What, Mercy Point? I saw that on the news.'

'There were only four of us Noughts who joined, but I had to quit. Then things… happened, between Sephy and me, and now we're here.'

'Why did you quit?' asked the woman.

I'd told them a bit now, but I didn't much fancy explaining negative experience after negative experience to the likes of her. There was no way she'd ever be able to understand.

'I had my reasons.' I reached my hand up to hold the strap of my rucksack, almost as if it was some kind of hand railing to cling on to. 'Thank you, for helping us out. I'm sorry to cause you any trouble.'

The man shook his head in that pompous fashion of his. 'I couldn't see a young woman in that kind of state and not help.' He turned to his wife, with a reassuring smile. 'She will be alright, won't she, darling?'

His wife met his gaze and they shared a look for a moment. 'I see nothing about her that says otherwise.'

As relieved as I was that Sephy would be fine, and she had somewhere safe to be whilst she slept, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. But there wasn't really anything I could do. Not until she woke up. I didn't want to make her worse…

I grabbed at my rucksack strap again. 'Great, well, as soon as she's awake, we'll be out of your way.' They didn't move. 'I can wait in the garden, if that makes you feel more comfortable.' Like a bloody dog, waiting for its owner.

The man raised his eyebrows, but I was surprised that the woman was the first to object. It was almost like her politeness kicked in before she'd even thought about it.

'No, it's fine,' she shook her head and even moved towards me slightly. 'You'd better be here when she wakes up, and anyway we wouldn't want the neighbours asking awkward questions.'

'Ah,' I said, suddenly flooded with understanding.

'Look, she'd obviously not going to waking up within the next thirty seconds, and there's no point us all standing here like lemons,' Zane said, clapping his hands together. 'Young man!'

I looked up at him in surprise.

'You do look a bit tired yourself, I must say. Please come and sit down.' He gestured at the breakfast bar, but I didn't move. Once again, the woman looked at her husband with her lips pursed. It was a shame, really. The seats obviously came as a set and now she'd have an uneven number of them after she was forced to burn the one the disgusting blanker had sat on.

'Perhaps we can find something for him to eat too?' the man asked his wife.

'Um,' she said, then hissed quietly at him something along the lines of, 'how am I supposed to know what they like to eat?'

'We must have something in the cupboards.'

'Well, you can find it yourself, Zane. I'm going to check on, Sephy, was it?' she asked, finally looking at me. I nodded, finally realising and kicking myself for letting them know our real names. But of course, it would be even more suspicious to back track now. The woman nodded and moved past me as fast as she could as she walked back through to the living room.

'Please, lad, sit down. You can't stand there in the corner until she wakes up.'

I walked over and pulled out the seat that was closest to me and sat down.

'I'll put the kettle on, and we must have some biscuits somewhere.'

I let my rucksack drop to the floor beside me, and I clasped my hands on the table. Never in my life had I felt more like I shouldn't be somewhere, not even when I was at Mercy Point.

'So, quite a sticky situation you're both in, it seems,' Zane said, as he pulled out mugs and tea bags from a cupboard.

I laughed awkwardly and nodded.

'I must admit, when I first saw you both, apart from the obvious…'

The phrase 'blanker bastard' resurfaced in my head once again. I wasn't going to forget that one for a while, not to mention being called a rapist.

'…I thought you were kidnapping that poor girl or something.'

I looked at his back as he made the tea with wide eyes. No, he couldn't… surely not. It hadn't been on the news or anything, only Kamal's close circle had been notified…

'But now I realise, you must be, what, running away together?'

Running away? Yes, despite being perfectly illegal as far as a Nought and Cross were concerned, that was practically adorable and innocent compared with the truth. Like the lovers that elope together in books and films.

'Yeah, we, er, ran away from our families. They had some reservations about us being together.'

'I don't doubt,' the man said, with a gruff laugh. 'How old are you?'

There was no problem with this guy knowing that, he knew practically everything else now. 'I'm twenty, Sephy's almost nineteen.'

Zane turned to me with surprise at that, clearly studying my face again. 'You don't say! I always think you Nought blokes are older than you are.'

I caught his eye and held it. 'Well, I can't speak for every Nought out there, but I know that I at least had to grow up fairly quickly.'

I'd imagined that the guy would have felt awkward at that, but to his credit he laughed softly. 'I can imagine.'

I wanted to reply with 'doubt it', but this guy had been a police officer. For better or worse that probably altered his perspective.

He was an ex-cop. By all accounts I should hate his guts. He was part of the breed that kept Noughts chained to the bottom, and yet I couldn't help but think that I could grow to like this man. Something about him was calm and inviting, when he didn't have his arm pushed against my windpipe.

Zane brought over the two cups of tea, then sat down beside me and pulled a box of biscuits over so it was in the middle of us.

I took the tea in both hands and just held it for a moment. Here I was, a fugitive ex-LM Nought, on the run with his pregnant Cross girlfriend and currently taking refuge in the kitchen of a retired police officer. There were a lot of things I hated about my life, but you couldn't fault fate for being unpredictable.

'Look,' I said, looking over at the man. 'I know how absurd it might sound to ask an ex-police officer this, but… please don't call the cops on us. Please.'

'I already said that I wasn't going to, didn't I?' Zane said, but the way he didn't look at me as he sipped his tea, it looked like…

'Wait,' I stood up quickly and Zane shot backwards in his seat like I'd just thrown my hot tea over him, 'that's not what your wife's doing right now, is it?'

Zane blinked. 'What, no, no! She can't be, the phone's over there on the hook.' He gestured at the landline.

'What about her mobile?'

'You mean that mobile there?’ Zane nodded towards a mobile sitting on the work surface.

I let out a long breath that I hadn’t known I’d been holding.

'We don't get any mobile signal in the house here anyway. That’s country living for you. I only have a tablet for when I use the wifi to read the news.'

'What do you mean, no signal?'

Zane laughed, relaxing again somewhat as I sank back into my seat. 'You grew up in London, I'm guessing?'

I nodded.

'Ever been out of London?'

I bristled a bit, I couldn't help it. 'Of course.'

'For very long?'

I huffed. 'For the afternoon.'

Zane nodded, squeezing his lips together somewhat. I rolled my eyes and huffed again. '…and I was twelve.'

I looked away, annoyed, but then I looked back and caught the man's eye, and I actually laughed. I couldn't help it. He was smiling now too, and I laughed a bit more, shaking my head. 'Fair enough,' I said, finally daring to take a sip of tea. 'I suppose I'm not used to life out of the city.'

'I'm guessing she's from the city, too.' He nodded towards the living room.

'Oh, yeah. The right side of the river though, as you might have guessed.'

'How did you both meet?'

God, this guy knew how to ask the personal questions, didn't he?

Or maybe I just had my back up? Maybe this was what people did when they sat around together drinking tea.

'We used to play together when we were kids.'

Zane raised an eyebrow, and I explained briefly about our mums and how we'd grown up together, and then how we'd met again more recently.

I sighed. 'For a long time, our families didn't know that we'd started seeing each other again, but trust me they know now.'

Silence fell for a moment. Zane was looking at me in a way that he hadn't yet. I'm not even sure a Cross had ever looked at me like that before. He looked sad for me.

'Don't get me wrong,' I said softly. 'I know what we're doing now is stupid. I know.' I clutched at my mug again. 'I tried to stop seeing her. I tried to leave her behind, do the right thing, but the me that was left behind was an empty husk of a person. I was so lonely, so angry.' I couldn't believe I was admitting all this to a cop. My god, I'd finally lost it, and yet the words wouldn't stop coming out of me. 'I did things that I'm not proud of, because I thought that was all I was good for, but then we saw each other again, and it was like I could feel an empty void in here,' I touched my chest, 'filling up.

'Sephy truly sees me. Not what I am or what I've done, but who I am, in my soul.' I laughed at myself. I knew I sounded absurd, and yet I knew it was all true. 'Whenever my time runs out, whether it's in an hour, or a day, or years from now, I don't care, as long as I spend the time I have left with her.'

I looked over at Zane, and for a moment thought that the guy had drifted off to sleep, but he was just staring intently at the table, frowning.

He took a sip of his tea and set it down again. 'I know you'll probably doubt me when I say this. We come from very different worlds, I'm sure.' He looked between the hand that was holding my cup, and the hand that was holding his own. 'But I think I understand. At least, a little.'

I just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. It wouldn't be the first time a Cross had thought they understood me with all their heart, when really all they'd seen was a play or a tv show that had made them feel something, and they felt like they could finally empathise. If you hadn't lived it, then you didn't know.

'I haven't been a police officer for years now, and when I was one I was rarely in London. But sometimes, they did rotations, and I would be posted at an inner-city station for a few weeks.'

Oh god, what was he going to tell me.

'One night, we were out on patrol, and this group of Noughts got rowdy with us. I think one of them called my colleague some slur, and we ended up…' he stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Oh God, stop. Stop. I didn't want him to tell me anything. I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't empathise with the likes of him, one of the sort who had killed Danny.

'…all of a sudden my colleague is kneeing this boy in the stomach, and he falls to the ground and my colleague keeps kicking him. Some of the Noughts tried to stop it, others ran away. There were three of us there, police I mean, and I didn't do anything. In fact, I actually held back the Noughts who were trying to stop it. Then we just got in the car and drove away.'

I stared at him.

'The next day I went to the hospital and asked about anyone who'd been brought in the night before. The boy was there and he was unconscious in a hospital bed… He was fine, in the end, but I felt so guilty, so angry and so small. It wasn't me who had put the kid in hospital, but I'd watched and let it happen, and somehow that was even worse. And I know now, I was scared of what my colleagues would think of me if I stood up for these supposed criminals.'

I'd never even thought about the people on the other side having complex emotions. Never thought about how the guy who'd hit Danny might feel about it. He'd been surrounded by twenty or more Noughts, with just him and his colleague, and he'd been scared. That was all it was. He was still the bastard that had put Danny in hospital, but what about the things that I'd done? The people I'd beaten up since then?

I leant my elbows on the breakfast bar and put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes slightly.

'That was actually where I ended up meeting my wife,' Zane continued, but then his voice seemed to fade out.

I let my hands drop to the table. 'I used to hate people like you.'

'Cops?' he asked.

'Yeah.'

'Not anymore?'

I looked off, through the huge glass patio doors into the garden where the sun was finally beginning to set. 'It's easy to draw lines, I suppose. You're on the wrong side and I'm on the right. You're the Crosses and we're the Noughts, but…' I sighed. 'At the end of the day, we all get scared, or feel hopeless or defensive, or like we need purpose or we need love. When it comes down to it, we're all just people.'

Zane sighed too, and there was a moment where we both sat, looking out at the dusk that was creeping in.

He drank the last dreg of tea from his mug, then got up and patted me on the shoulder.

I flinched back away from him as pain shot through my body. He'd jabbed me right in the wound on my shoulder, and he looked at me in surprise, his mouth opened to say something when his wife came in.

'What's the matter?' Zane asked.

I didn't really want to give these people another reason to think I was some rough rogue off the street.

'What is it?' Janet said, coming forward.

'It's nothing. I just hurt my shoulder the other day and…'

Her doctor instincts seemed to kick in immediately. 'Let me have a look.'

'No, really, I've already patched it up myself…'

I turned backwards away from her, but she came assertively forwards and pulled my jacket off my shoulder. The gauze I'd put on it before was coming off and fraying at the edges, and telling me to hold still she pulled it back.

'Oh, for God's sake…' she said, actually rolling her eyes. 'It looks awful. You need to let me dress it again.'

'I already did that myself,' I said, wincing as she pulled more at the edges of the taped dressing.

'Zane, get me the box from that cupboard,' she nodded with her head, pulling off the dressing entirely. 'Honestly, the two of you look like you've been in a war. Do you want to tell me how you got this?'

'I tripped and fell on some glass,' I said, without even missing a beat.

Janet snorted. 'Oh, trust me, working in a hospital I heard my fair share of excuses. "Oh no, I wasn't having sex with my girlfriend on the roof, I was just up there with her doing naked meditation, and that's how I put my leg through a sky light."'

I twisted around to look at her. 'Got a lot of those, did you?'

'A fair few,' she huffed, taking the box from her husband and pulling out wipes and bandages. 'So, who stabbed you with some glass?

'What makes you think it's a stab wound?'

'What makes you think I'm an idiot who doesn't know a stab wound when I see one?'

I huffed. 'Ok, you got me,' with as much of a tone of sarcasm as I could muster. 'Sephy stabbed me with a large shard of glass because I kidnapped her and held her to ransom to the Prime Minister of Albion.'

Janet narrowed her eyes at me. 'That's the best you could come up with?'

I laughed somewhat nervously, but she just looked displeased. Or maybe that was just her face.

She had just about finished putting a fresh dressing on my shoulder and telling me that I really should go to a hospital to get stitches, when a voice sounded from the living room.

’Callum...'

I leapt up and practically sprinted into the next room.

With blurry eyes Sephy looked up at me and I rushed over and knelt down beside her. Oh God, was I crying? Maybe it was all too much for me as well. I smoothed my hand over the slight swell in Sephy's stomach, trying to calm my mind and clear my head. I wanted someone, God, I wanted my mama to just hug me and tell me it was going to be alright.

Come on, Callum, I thought sharply. Pull yourself together. It's not going to be getting any easier any time soon. You have to get through this.

'Shhh, love, it's ok,' I said to her softly. 'It's ok. You're fine. We're both fine.'

She said my name again, trying to make herself sit up, and I couldn't help but smile, just at the sound of her voice.

'Wait, hang on…' Janet said, coming forwards and looking down at the both of us, in particular where my hand was resting. 'Please tell me this girl isn't pregnant.'

Zane came forward too, looking at Sephy and me in shock.

Janet was looking at me expectantly, and I nodded.

'Oh, in the name of all that is holy!' she said, looking up at the ceiling. 'Did you not think that was an important thing to mention?'

'You should have said something,' Zane said, a tone of complete seriousness.

I laughed humourlessly and turned to look at them both from where I was sitting on the floor. 'So that you can call me a blanker again and call the police on me for getting a Cross woman pregnant?' Oh God, my face really was wet. I turned quickly away from them again. 'You can say you understand, but everyone has their limits. And it's not like she hit the ground or fell when she fainted.'

'Yes, but if she's pregnant and she's fainted it's best to get the baby checked, just in case.'

I blinked and looked back up between the two older Crosses. 'Well, should I take her to hospital right now?'

Janet sighed. ‘I think it's best to just let her rest for the moment. Like you said, she hasn't injured herself, and there most likely isn't anything immediately wrong, but she should see a doctor within the next few days to get properly checked out.'

I rested my head against the sofa, my hands still holding onto her stomach.

'Now the fact you've ran away together makes a lot more sense,' she surmised.

It did, didn't it?

'They're only twenty and nineteen,' I heard Zane whisper to his wife.

'Oh, in heaven's name...'

Sephy had been sat quietly listening to us, but now I felt her hand on my head and I looked up at her.

'Where are we, Callum? What's going on?'

'Sephy, you hugged me and then you just fainted. I shouted and the Crosses came back and I carried you back to their house so we could make sure you were alright. I just… I panicked. I didn't know what to do and I was so worried…'

Sephy looked over at the Cross couple with bleary eyes, then back over to me in confusion. 'I fainted?'

'I mean, it makes sense. We've been through a lot, haven't we?' I smiled at her reassuringly and she laughed a bit in reply. Then she reached over and touched my face, looking me dead in the eyes.

'Are you ok, Callum?' She wiped a tear away from my eye. 'They haven't been...?’

'No, no.’ I clutched her hand tightly, shaking my head. 'They've been really nice.'

She pulled herself up more, and I moved backwards so she could slide her legs off the sofa.

'How do you feel now? Does anything hurt?' I asked, getting off the floor and sitting next to her.

Sephy shook her head slowly. 'How long have I been out of it?'

'Maybe about an hour now,' I said, looking at the clock on the wall.

Janet disappeared for a moment, then I heard the noise of the tap and she came out with a glass of water.

'Here, Sephy, isn't it? Drink this.'

That was twice now she'd confirmed Sephy's name. She hadn't asked once about mine.

'I'm sorry to cause you all this trouble.' Sephy grabbed my hand as she looked over at the Crosses. 'Thank you for taking care of me.'

'Well, what now?' Zane asked. He clicked a few lamps on to give them more light and then sat down on the adjacent sofa. 'We can't just let you wander off again.'

I felt my heart sink. 'You're going to call the police?'

He and his wife shared a look. 'We really should, you know, but like I said before, I feel like it's really none of our business.'

Sephy squeezed my hand tightly.

'But look at you both,' Janet put in quickly, her lips very thin. 'You're both exhausted, dirty, one of you is pregnant, the other has been stabbed, and as if that wasn't enough, you're a Nought and a Cross who've ran away together. How are you going to make this work? Do you have anywhere to stay? Anywhere to go?'

Sephy was the one who spoke first. 'We both have some money saved up.' Compared to Sephy's savings account started for her at birth, my 'savings' were a rucksack full of cash that I'd swiped from the LM headquarters, but that was par for the course really.

'We don't really know what the future looks like at this point. Since we ran away we're just taking every day as it comes.' Sephy looked at me suddenly and said with a whisper, 'How much do they know, exactly?'

They could hear her, of course, so I replied as much as I could with my expression when I said, 'They know all of it, that we've ran away from our families together because you're pregnant and because we want to be together.'

Sephy raised her chin with an understanding look and nodded.

'I really do appreciate the help you've given us,' she said to the Cross couple. 'Not many people would be so understanding. Please don't worry about us though, we'll go where we need to go, and do what needs to be done, and hopefully we'll still be somewhat happy at the end of it.'

'What, that's it? That's your plan? It's almost night, we can't let you just walk off.' Apparently Janet's doctorly need to protect a pregnant teenage Cross outweighed her disgust at my presence in her house. 'At the very least you need to eat and drink something.'

'I really think it's better if we just go…' Sephy started to say, but Janet shut her up immediately.

'If you leave right now then I will call the police,' she said assertively. 'As a doctor and as a mother I can't let you leave without knowing for sure you're not going to faint again. Now, both of you, sit here quietly, and we will make you some food.'

She gave her husband a meaningful look.

'We have a spare room, Janet,' Zane said, a little quietly. 'Could we...?'

This guy was actually suggesting now that we both stay the night. I couldn't quite believe it. I saw Janet's eyes swoop to look at me. Of course they did. What if I ransacked their house for all their valuables in the dead of night, or better yet just slit their throats whilst they were sleeping?

'I don't think we could impose like that…' Sephy said in reply.

But Zane pulled his wife backwards slightly and was speaking to her in a hushed tone.

I took the chance to grab Sephy's wrist and pull her back to me. I bent my head and whispered so the others couldn't hear. 'Sephy, we can't stay here. We just can't.'

'Ok, Callum, but...'

I shook my head quickly. 'Even if she gets over the fear of me robbing them in the middle of the night...'

'Callum, I'm sure she doesn't think...'

'...that doesn't change the fact that they could at any point change their minds and ring the police about us. And who knows, this time tomorrow our faces could be all over the news.'

Sephy frowned. 'I really don't think my dad would let this reach the newspapers.'

'Suppose it gets leaked? You're quite high profile, after all,' I whispered.

'My baba resigned, remember?' she said with a raised eyebrow.

'It would still make the news. Picture it.' I straightened up, and in a slightly louder voice said, '"Radiant and distinguished Persephone Hadley runs away with Callum McGregor, a downright nefarious and horrifically lowly Nought". And getting really carried away with the moment I took off an imaginary hat and bowed deeply to her.

She didn't smile like I thought she would. If anything, she looked upset, and she even hit me lightly on the stomach. 'Don't say things like that, Callum.'

'Sorry,' I said, trying not to smile.

'I mean it,' she said strongly. 'Enough people believe in that crap without you thinking it about yourself too.'

I stopped laughing and nodded solemnly. She was right. Of course, she was right.

We both looked over at the Cross couple, who had stopped talking amongst themselves and had obviously seen my little stunt of amateur dramatics.

'Look, if it saves you from being lost and alone on the streets tonight, we'd really rather you stayed here and got some rest,' Zane said kindly.

'Well, yes,' continued Janet. 'If it saves me from having to read in the papers about someone finding the two of you dead tomorrow morning, then I agree with my husband.' She pursed her lips at me. 'And if you running away does indeed make the papers, it'd be a shame for all the drama to be over so quickly.'

I actually laughed out loud at that. Who would've thought that, under it all, Janet actually had a sense of humour? She even looked a little pleased at the fact that she'd made me laugh.

'Thank you for the offer,' Sephy said, and you could tell from her tone that she meant it. 'But we have to go.' She stuck out her hand once again. 'Thank you once again for all your help and understanding.' Janet and Zane shook her hand, and I moved forwards myself.

Janet, moving very quickly, turned and disappeared into the kitchen. I tried not to let a lead weight form in my chest at that, as Zane shook my hand solidly, with both hands, even, wishing us both the best for the future. But then Janet came back into the room with a bag-for-life full of crisps, drinks, fruit, biscuits, and what looked like some left over pizza in a Tupperware box.

She put the bag directly into my hands before I could object, then took my hand and shook it firmly.

I tried not to look too gobsmacked, and Zane laughed, pompously and right from his belly as he put an arm around his wife.

'Good luck to the both of you,' Janet said, and after saying more and more thanks, Sephy and I headed out.

Sephy

We went out the back and onto the lane at the back of the house.

'Well, that could have gone a lot worse,' Callum said, looping an arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head.

'If we are on the news now, they're going to put two and two together.'

'Well, by then we'll be long gone, in hiding on some remote tropical island in the South Pacific.'

'Oh yes?' I asked with a grin.

'Of course,’ Callum nodded.

'And how are we going to get there?'

'Well, we needn't worry about that yet. Let's focus on where we're staying tonight first.'

'Where are we going to go?' My voice was a lot more subdued now. 'We can't just walk into a hotel and book a room together.'

Callum swivelled me around to look at him. 'Maybe we should stay at theirs for the night? They have a nice house, probably a comfy bed.'

'You've changed your tune,' I said with a smirk. What was he thinking, that I would be able to get a taste of the high life again and realise that I really would be better going back to my family after all?

He shrugged. 'It might make you feel safe, even for just a night.'

I shook my head, smiling even more. 'I do feel safe. I'm with you.' And I'd never said anything that was more true. A comfortable and sleepy life be damned. Callum and I had something together that was a lot more important.

Callum blinked. 'Oh.'

I smirked again and stood on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. 'When I woke up from having fainted, who was it that I called out for?'

He grinned to himself happily. 'Me.'

I nodded. 'I wasn't glad that I was 'safe' in a nice house on a comfy sofa, with a doctor checking me over. I wanted you there with your hand on my tummy, telling me it would be ok.'

He nodded, biting his lip slightly. 'I'll always be here to look after you, Sephy. I promise.'

I laced my fingers through his, and hand in hand we started walking again, away from the ordinary, and into something else that was entirely ours.