Chapter Text
To have everything is not always a blessing, it doesn’t make you happy all the time. Maybe, the idea of being able to buy everything you want, travel wherever you wish to, attending exclusive parties, going to fancy schools, etcetera, is nice and son... Who wouldn’t like to live on the highest standards?
Well, less people wouldn’t like it if they knew those billions are made of suffering, blood, tears, screams for mercy, pleadings, unfairness… you couldn’t be that selfish, could you?
Your life hadn’t been easy, it is not, and it won’t be. You’ve always hated it; you just don’t like the things you have to do. Your father is the boss of the largest mafia in China, and your mom a famous and lucky mercenary (for marrying your father), she used to ‘work’ in the Middle East trafficking weapons and other stuffs. You were half Chinese but for some reason you looked more like your mom, at some points you really questioned yourself if you were half Chinese. Even if your dad was your real dad, you and him didn’t have similarities. However, the thing which made you be more and more anxious was not the fact you and your dad were so different from each other, but the comments on your appearance.
'You are not Chinese’
'Your eyes are ugly, you are ugly’
'Get out of China’
'We don’t want you here’
You used to hear since you were in kindergarten, every single fucking day, it was the same in the Chinese elite until high school.
'It’s not my fault’
'Sorry’
'I know, I’m ugly’
'Please, don’t look at me’
You used to thought, whenever you heard those comments or when children’s eyes were strong on you, you blamed yourself, it was clearly not your fault, but a child couldn’t know that. You lived in a really big house, in a mansion, for sure. Nevertheless, no one wanted to play with you, no one was your friend, you were always home alone. Your parents were doing their business all the time, so they hadn’t much time for you, but they did their best to make you happy. You wished you had more company so the loneliness wouldn’t freeze your body.
'How are you, today?’ Mister Solo used to ask you every single day when were about to go to school. Perhaps it was just courtesy, it was just his job 'fine, thank you’ you answered every day, even in the days you were sad, that little question either being just courtesy or genuine interest in your emotions, always made your heart felt less cold. Sometimes, you felt that he was the only person who really cared about you. You never told him you felt bad because you didn’t want to worry the only one person who showed you some 'love’ more frequently than your parents.
One day you had to left your home, and that was the event which changed your life. Your dad got into troubles with a powerful rival Mafia, thus you were not safe in China until everything ended “You’ll go to Mexico, our friends are there” your dad told you in that fresh night. The first time you could be able to talk with your parents in a whole month, and they were telling you, you had to leave. “But I want to stay with you” you complained, hoping it would make them think their decision once again, your complains ended up being useless, your dad was not going to risk your security “You are not safe here” he pointed out, you knew were not allowed to argue more. Since that moment you understood you had to hide your feelings, for not being a pain in the ass, for not ruin everyone else’s plans, unfortunately you became very good at doing it as the time passed.
The friends of your parents were weapon traffickers in Latin America. They provided weapons to guerrilla armed forces, to drug dealers, to small mafias, and to thieves. Their power reached all Latin America and even some parts of the US. Nevertheless, their where not as powerful as your parents, but you were going to be safe there, it was a place far away from your home, plus not being as powerful as your parents was a great point for your safety, nobody will suspect you were with them.
You still remember that day clearly, all you wanted was to cry, when you went downstairs you tried your best to not sob. You had to go to school and better not look sad or the kids will bully you. So, you waited for Mister Solo in front of the main door, as you used to. A servant gave you your backpack ready for the day at school “Thank you” you said not looking at her as you usually did “My little princess, are you okay?” she asked you clearly worried “Y-yes” you told her. Your eyes were filled up with tears so you keep looking at the green grass “Please, wait for me Miss, I’ll take you to school today” Mister Solo told you as he walked towards you quickly, he was holding a boy’s hand.
Mister Solo usually just closed the car’s door when you got in, the driver always was a young lady nicknamed Phasma. But at that moment you were in risk, but you all had to act normal as of nothing bad was going on. So, you needed to be near to someone more experienced, then you’d disappear suddenly, the rivals wouldn’t notice and once you reappeared in Mexico your father’s soul would rest. Phasma would behind with many men just in case.
“This is my son, Ben. You both should get to know each other while you wait for me” he said and walked into the house, as quick as he could, probably he was going to see your dad. “Hello” that little guy greeted you with a big smile all over his face “Hello” you responded, still your eyes on the grass, not making too much eye contact was the best in that moment “I’m Ben Solo, nice to meet you” then you looked at him, the way he talked to you shocked you, he did not make any comment to hurt you. You were even more surprised to see him, still smiling when he saw your face, there was no signal of disgust, no other child had been that polite with you in so much time, it caught you off guard, you were seven years old “I’m Zhao (Y/n), nice to meet you too” you smiled back. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t see him in a while, if only he walked in your house sooner...
Maybe, going to another part of the world would suit you, maybe wouldn’t.
“Your face doesn’t look like the Chinese people’s faces” he commented, that sentence made you felt uneasy, the confidence you had some minutes ago banished, there were plenty of people working on your father house who weren’t Chinese, that’s why you felt less weird there but, once outside it was a different story “Yeah, it’s strange” you said nervous, what else could answer? You just hoped Mister Solo could come quickly. You really were not in the mood for talking about your physical appearance which always seemed to had something wrong “I think it is cute” he responded out of nowhere, you looked at him with big eyes and knitted eyebrows. His expression made you know he was being honest, just as before, for a second you felt validated, you felt happy “Let’s go guys” Mister Solo returned and opened the door for you. While Ben waited for his dad at your house, the last word you heard from his lips was a simple goodbye.
The plane took off that night, you couldn’t see Ben again in many years, at first you wished you could had met Ben before, perhaps his friendship could had helped you to not feel so blue. Nevertheless, soon you forgot about him, it is not like he would remember you, he probably had lots of friends or maybe he was not welcomed like you? Whatever it was, you were more focused on the current problems.
“You are going to be safe here, don’t worry” Mister Solo was kneeled in front of you, trying to make you feel better. You both and other bodyguards of your dad were in a big hacienda in the middle of a forest not so far from Mexico City. Everything was big, the sun was warmer than the Pekin one, there were plenty of people armed just like in your mansion, a big fountain, and a luxury house in a style you found interesting. It was a strange sensation, but you feel more welcomed there than in any other place.
It was time to accept that the house behind your back was going to be your home for some time. You had to accept it just as you left China in the presence of your father: no expression, no tears, no problems for them, just nodded and continue with your daily life. You just did as your parents taught you since you had memories, you’d soon or later take the place of your father, and you had to behave accordingly, you had to show you were capable of taking such a responsibility.
“Mister Solo, thank you” you hugged him as soon as you finished talking, you nearly cried, despite all your efforts to act properly, you were still a little child who had sadness inside her heart “In some years I’ll bring you home, please, be patient Miss” he hugged you back and kissed your forehead as of you were his own child. It hurt him, leaving you, he had a son as well, he imagined in that second leaving him thousands of kilometers far away from his father. Nevertheless, if that protected his son from being a target for the rivals, he would do it, even if his son cried, even if Ben wouldn’t forgive him, Ben being safe and sound was worth it. In this case he understood the actions of your father who was one of his closer friends.
“Welcome home, (Y/n)” a female voice from inside the house made you turn around “Mrs. Renata” Han bowed as the Chinese tradition of your family indicated, he was too used to it, he even did it in foreign territory “How are you?” she greeted you after greeting Han shaking hands “Fine, what about you Mrs?” after a small conversation with you she decided it was time to show you your bedroom and your new house, you had to learn lots of things, especially the language. “Thank you, Mister Solo. She will be fine here” she said with a big smile over her face, Han nodded and walked away saying no more “Let me introduce you to my children” she said as you stepped into the house.
Those guys were really kind, and always made you feel protected when you were home sick, when you had nightmares, and so on. Their names Finn and Rose they were siblings, Rose was adopted, but their parents never treated them differently, they were such a lovely family although they were doing not very good things to others. In Mexico the kids were not as rude as the elite Chinese kids, perhaps because your appearance was more Occidental? Not it couldn’t be that, you just were sort of different to the most kids of the Chinese elites, mostly your appearance. Perhaps you felt more welcomed in Mexico because of the historical xenophilia of the country. The interesting things here, is that in no time you felt happier there, soon you forgot about being homesick and about your life in China, to the point, once you wished to not return.
Rose, Finn and you used to play a lot, do your homework together. They helped you many times in many ways because they were older, they saw you as their little sister they had to protect from anything. They also played a lot during with you at breaks at school, your couldn’t be more perfect, the vacations and trips you did with the Rodriguez were the best, you just wished it will last forever
“When we grow up, I’ll marry you” Finn, the older brother told you “And you will be my princess” you smiled to his sudden words “But I don’t want to be a princess” you said “Well, l will be your princess, then” he responded happily “Yes” you accepted the little promise and continued playing with him. He was very cute and kind as Rose who you loved so much too. You felt part of the family, you could say you felt accepted, loved for the very first time not only in your new home but in every place, you stepped in. At some point you thought Renata cared more than your own mother, she was showed more interest in you than your mother, even her husband Ryan talked more with you than your father used to.
Nothing lasts forever, when you turned fifteen years old, Han Solo returned for you. The troubles ended in your homeland, it was safe again for you, plus you were older to protect yourself better than a child. You said goodbye to everyone in the house, you looked specially after your friend, a middle-aged man called Ricardo. He taught you to shoot a gun and also to play poker, he always had time for you, even if he was carrying an AK-47 with him he put is aside for playing poker with you.
Han took you back to China early in the morning. You were sad of course, saying goodbye to the people who became your family was not eady. But at the same time, you felt a spark of happiness to see Han again, even if his presence meant you had to leave. You were about to enter high school, your father of course chose a school for you, one of the best in the capital.
“We are here, Miss” the car stopped in front of the main door of the mansion the recent rain left a delicious which mixed with the smell of home cooked food “I’m glad to see you again, Han” you gave him a hug which he returned immediately “Me too, little princess”.
You then, walked towards the main entrance of the mansion, your father and your mother were there waiting for you “My brave daughter” you dad said kissing your forehead “Dad” you whispered, then he hugged you tight “Welcome” he told kissing your temple again, he was truly relieved to see you again “Thank you” you proceed to hug your mom as well “We have prepared a special dinner for you, but go and tell Mrs. Liu what you would like to eat as dessert” she explained you and kissed both of your cheeks “Welcome back, lovely” she whispered before kissing both of your cheeks delicately, you only smiled back.
After the warm welcoming, you walked slowly towards the kitchen. Many things in the mansion such as the big clock in the main living room, the Chinese traditional paintings, and the ancient poetry were exactly as you remembered. Meanwhile, some of the new details of the decoration make the house look different in many ways; bigger, shinier, warmer. While you were walking through the mansion the thought of Mister Solo’s son suddenly came to your mind “Little princess, you are here” Miss Liu, as you called her, was in tears “Yes, I’m back” you hugged her tight “I missed you so much” she said, you missed her as well, specially her food, nobody cooks like her. She was the adoptive mother of Phasma, probably Phasma was trafficked when a child, no one really knows, Liu Zhen found her in the market near to her house which is located a poor ghetto.
The servants at the mansion used to call you 'little princess’ even though you didn’t like it so much, you knew they called you that way to show you their love, the young lady who everyday took me to school gave you that nick name, Phasma gave you such lovely nickname, since you arrived home you were looking for her, but there was no sign of her presence, perhaps she was on a mission
After talking a little with Miss Liu, you went upstairs to my bedroom, you had to prepare for the special dinner your parents prepared for welcoming you. Inside you bedroom everything remained the same, all of your stuff was exactly in the same place as you remembered, you couldn’t help but smile, Miss Liu should have been very meticulous while cleaning. You took a shower and changed your clothes for the dinner. You were tired for sure, but hungry as hell.
“Mom, Dad” you greeted them as you walked into the dinning room “Have a sit” your father said as he pointed to my place with his hand. The servants quickly served your family the food while you we’re talking about what had happened all that time you were far away from them.
“So, have you seen the information about your high school?” your dad asked before taking a sip from his coffee “Yes, I’ve” your mom smiled to your words “Your Chinese is still good, isn’t it?” she questioned raising her eyebrow slightly “Yes, it is. I’ve been studying hard” your dad sighed this time calling your attention “I know you will do a good job here, I’ll rest in peace when I die” he said proud and smiled weakly, this time had been hard for him and your mother “I’ll do my best, as always" you replied hoping you could make your dad proud.