Chapter Text
Outside, in the real world, he always felt like he was being suffocated , but here… On the stage, he could let the real Dan go. No one had ever really cared about boring old Dan Howell, average geek and absolute fucking disaster, but here he could put on the facade of one of the theaters’ principal stars Daniel James Howell, feel like people did care about him even if it was only for a few nights of entertainment a week.
He ignored his phone buzzing for the dozenth time in the past fifteen minutes. He could wait until practice was over. Not like it mattered, if he was trying to make up for everything with nonstop calls at all hours of the bloody night and day.
“You alright there, Howell?” a voice called from across the studio. Dan glanced up to see the dancer crossing the room towards him until they stood in front of him.
“Oh, Lester-” he paused, then shrugged. “I’m fine, probably just tired. Late night, y’know.”
The other man didn’t seem to believe him, the disbelief clear on his face (he’d always been one to have his thoughts obvious on his face, honestly), but he shrugged and walked back across the rooms, glancing back at Dan before turning back to the cluster of dancers he’d been talking to a moment ago.
Luckily, a new distraction came in the form of a very cheerful Louise calling her dancers to attention, smiling widely at the group as they gathered together.
“Before you lot run out of here for the day, I have an announcement for everyone.” Whispers flew around the group along with curious glances. Louise paused for a moment before continuing, “I’ll be honest, the interest here from the public hasn’t been… optimal lately, so the new plan is a dance showcase to try to get attendance and profits up. I’ll be assigning all of you to your dance and your partner or group.”
While Louise began reading down her list, grouping together dancers in pairs and small teams, Dan stared at the ceiling instead. He didn’t know anyone well enough to hope they’d work together beyond casual conversations and thinly-veiled competition for parts in a performance. Andrew would probably get jealous either way.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed again just as Louise turned to him. “And for modern, Daniel Howell and Philip Lester. You two can plan your own routine, right? You’ve both been here long enough.” She continued down her list, none of the words seeming to reach Dan’s ears.
“Have you done modern before?” Lester’s voice broke through the fog of his thoughts, the man standing in front of him with a cheerful grin.
“Um, a bit, yeah,” he stammered, silently cursing his awkwardness.
“Alright,” he replied, sticking out his hand until Dan hesitantly shook it. “Call me Phil, by the way. You called me Lester earlier, but I think dancing together gets us to a first name basis, yeah?”
Dan smiled as Phil stepped back. “I guess it does. I’m Dan, then.”
Phil insisted on swapping numbers before they both left for home. Dan laughed when he finally looked at the contact Phil had added to his phone, listed as ‘Philly’ with a goofy emoji next to his name. He didn’t have much in contacts besides his parents (who he rarely called in order to avoid the lectures), Adrian (who was often busy hiking somewhere with cell service anyways), and his nan who he made sure to call weekly. The only other contact from the dance studio was Louise, but the emoji next to Phil’s made it feel like he knew someone who wasn’t just in his phone because they had to be, but because it meant that he might actually have a friend other than his boss and his grandmother.
His apartment was almost silent when he got home, the soft noise of the fish tank filter the only sound. Dan managed to change into an old pair of pajama pants and an old Spyro top before the banging on his door began.
“The fuck do you- oh, it’s you,” he muttered, leaning against his door frame.
Adam scoffed. “You could try not to sound so bitchy,” he shot back as he stepped forwards in an attempt to push into the room. “Look, the guys and I are going out to that new club downtown, so get dressed and let’s go. Dress decently too, okay?” He finally managed to push past Dan, his sheer size advantage overpowering Dan’s smaller frame.
“I’m bloody busy, Adam.” Dan grabbed Adam’s arm to turn him around, glaring slightly up at him. “I’ve got a dance routine to create for this showcase, and-”
“You and your stupid dancing shit,” Adam chuckled. He shook off Dan’s grasp and stepped towards him until Dan’s back hit the wall.
Dan managed to say, “It’s my job that I happen to love, you twat.”
It wasn’t his fault that Adam thought his job working in management was better than Dan’s dancing career, something he’d never understood since they met years earlier when Dan had just joined his current company, but it hadn’t mattered back then. They’d gotten along well enough, and Dan had just been glad that he could get a boyfriend after the disaster that had been his closeted childhood that he’d just gone with it, but it hadn’t felt right lately.
“Just get fucking dressed and let’s go ,” Adam insisted, again reaching for Dan, but staring in shock when Dan slapped him across the face and hissed, “ Get out of my fucking flat and leave me alone before I call the police, Adam .”
For a moment, it seemed as if he’d say something back, but Adam only huffed angrily and stomped out of the flat with a muttered string of swears. Dan watched him go, sliding down the wall the moment the door slammed shut, his arms around his knees.
The panicky feeling barely registered through the haze. Dan wasn’t sure how he got his phone out of his pocket or how he unlocked it with how badly his fingers were shaking, and the words that came out of his mouth wouldn’t be anything he’d remember later, but the next thing he knew someone was stumbling through his door and kneeling in front of him.
“Dan? Hey, I’m right here.”
Phil ?