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Obi-Wan dies completely and utterly content.
Just for a moment he'd been Qui-Gon's padawan – just for a moment the Jedi Master had acknowledged him as his student. It was all he could've hoped for, that moment when Qui-Gon looked at him, and actually saw him, maybe even saw a future with him – future in which they'd be together, Master and padawan, future in which they'd had a happy ending. It had been a beautiful vision, doomed for failure, and Obi-Wan cherishes it almost as much as he regrets ripping that vision apart, but there is no other way.
Letting go of his regrets and grievances and accepting the fact that some, like him, only got a limited amount of time. His is barely thirteen years and he hadn't amounted to much, he hadn't done much. But he'd become, just for a moment, Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan, and as the Jedi Master's apprentice he is now responsible of not only saving his Master – his Master – but also countless miners and indentured workers of the Offworld Corporation's mining rig. Obi-Wan's life, his sacrifice, would see this day to victory. Qui-Gon would go after Xanatos, hopefully even stop him. Obi-Wan sacrifice would let him move forward.
It's not a bad death, if he says so himself.
"Aw, damn it."
Obi-Wan… looks up confusedly, only becoming aware of his ability to actually see things once there is actually something there to see. A blue, shimmering figure of an old man in robes, staring down at him with a look of wry dismay.
"I'm a tiny bit late this time, aren't I?" the old man says, and as Obi-Wan just blinks at him confusedly – he has eyelids? – the old man reaches over to ruffle his hair. "Well, at least you died happy, not that we ever die any other way. Self sacrifice, hm?"
"I'm… sorry?" Obi-Wan asks, baffled. "Who – what is this? Where is this?"
"Everywhere and nowhere – this, my young friend, is the Force. Or a very surface level, near physical manifestation of it created by our perception of ourselves, each other, and existence. We are dead – but not. We are one with the Force and Force is with us," the old man says and sighs, letting his hand drop. "I was coming to you – I could feel the turning point, but it seems like it was on a very limited time frame. How did you die, young one?"
Obi-Wan looks around, confused. There's nothing around them – it's not black, it's not white, it's no colour, there's nothing. But at the same time, there's everything. Is this really the Force? "Um, I – it's a long story. You were coming to me?"
"Yes, I was, but even becoming one with the Force doesn't make us infallible or all powerful, I'm afraid – and I did not make it in time. Which is somewhat ironic, because now we have all the time in existence," the old man says wryly and folds his hands into the sleeves of his robe, smiling. "Tell me everything, Obi-Wan."
"You know my name?"
"I know all you have been and most everything you could have been," the old man agrees. "How did you die?"
Well… alright then. "There was – it was… It was on a planet called Bandomeer, in an explosion of a blast collar…" Obi-Wan begins, and then backtracks to explain everything – his placement in the Jedi AgriCorps, the Offworld Corporation, Xanatos whom he still didn't know that much about – and Master Qui-Gon. How he'd been as-good-as enslaved, put into a blast collar, forced to work – how Master Qui-Gon had come for him, and for Xanatos, and how they'd gotten trapped, how Xanatos had planted bombs…
"It was the only way – Master Qui-Gon needed to get out of there to save the miners and catch Xanatos," Obi-Wan says serenely. "So I used my collar to blast the door open so that he'd be free."
The old man in front of him gives him a look of infinite sadness. "Oh, young one. I am very sorry."
"I'm not. Master Qui-Gon lived, he will save the miners – and there wasn't any pain," Obi-Wan adds, a little awkwardly in the face of the old man's very sincere grief. "It was quick – I felt nothing. And now I am one with the Force."
"All too soon and long before your time," the old man says grimly. "I see why I was thrown here, I could've saved you, maybe even stopped Xanatos – or, hell, lead you to a happy life in AgriCorps…" he trails away, shaking his head ruefully.
Obi-Wan tilts his head. "If it was my time, then it was my time. It was the Will of the Force."
"There's no such thing," the old man sighs and looks him up and down. "If I've learned anything since becoming one with the Force myself, it's that there's very little intention behind any of it. Things simply are, and happen, and have consequences, all of us bound in our own ways to the Force and to each other through the Force and through our own actions. Cause, effect and connection – and infinite randomness."
For a moment Obi-Wan feels a clench of longing for that off hand bit of wisdom, how easily and casually the old man hands it over. He's too young and too stupid to understand it, probably, but maybe he could've, if he had the chance to be a padawan. Maybe he could've learned to understand things like that – become wise and knowledgeable enough to question the teachings. Maybe, if he...
No, he mustn't be greedy, he mustn't regret. He'd joined the Force, he'd died in peace – he was content with that. He is content with that.
"Hmm," the old man hums, eying him closely with narrowed eyes.
"Who are you, sir?" Obi-Wan asks, trying to distract himself from his own longing for a life that was not to be. "How did you… join the Force?"
The old man smiles. "Self sacrifice," he admits slowly, thoughtfully. "Distracting an enemy from my student, so that he could make his escape. What a pair we make, hm? A self sacrificial Master, and a self-sacrificial padawan. Quite a match."
Obi-Wan tries to smile politely through the sudden rush of energy coursing through him – had he still a heart, it would probably be beating double pace. What is he saying – is he saying – what is that feeling Obi-Wan is getting? It's like there's a gust of wind, blowing through the nether space of the Force.
"And isn't that an idea," the old man muses, with a sudden look of mischief on his bearded face, as he considers Obi-Wan. "Yes, indeed. Here we are, both of us dead and yet not – and though you're one with the Force, you have no control. The moment I leave your side, you will disperse into mindless energies of the galaxy – content, no doubt, but wasted."
Somehow, Obi-Wan manages a nervous, excited gulp. "If it's to be, then it's to be," he says, shaky, and then tries again. "What is your name, Master…"
"Kenobi," the old man says slowly, thoughtfully. "Ben Kenobi."
Obi-Wan blinks at that with surprise and then his eyes widen as he feels some of the truth and history behind the name – the countless, countless lives attached, all of them his own in a way, but different. Ben Kenobi is a man he could have been, had been, in one universe, long time ago – and he has been thousands of Kenobis since. He could have been, for a moment, Obi-Wan here too – but Obi-Wan had died.
"Oh," Obi-Wan murmurs. He doesn't understand all of it, there's so much going on behind Ben Kenobi's smiling, bearded face, but he can sense some of it, and it's already overwhelming. "You – you're here to change history?"
"In a way," Ben Kenobi agrees easily and shrugs. "And I suppose I still might be. Yes, indeed – why not?" he offers his hand over, palm open, welcoming. "Obi-Wan Kenobi – would you like to be my apprentice? There's no reason for the galaxy to lose you so soon, when there's so much you can still do. I will teach you the way of the Force Ghosts – and death will hold you never more."
There is no force in the universe that couldn't have stopped Obi-Wan from taking his hand.
Obi-Wan is hanging onto Ben, as they make their way to Coruscant, to the Jedi Temple. There was no real travel involved in the movement, they took no ships, they didn't even fly – they just… made their way from Bandomeer near the galactic rim to Coruscant near the centre, and it was instantaneous – and still took a small infinity.
"Travelling on the binding currents of the Force," Ben explains, patting Obi-Wan's arms, wrapped around his neck and holding on for dear… life? "You will get used to it in time – by the time I am through with you, you'll maybe even know how to navigate them yourself. Are you alright?"
"I can't feel my legs," Obi-Wan admits, breathless – and how can he be breathless when he doesn't even have a physical body? He doesn't have lungs.
"You don't have legs, either," Ben chuckles and pats him again. "Remember the feel of your body, and ground yourself in the memory of physicality – pretend to be embodied and you will regain some coherency."
Obi-Wan looks down and – no, he doesn't have legs, he barely even has a torso. He's half faded, like so much mist. "Ack," he says, eloquent, and clutches onto his new Master tighter. "Wait, you can hear my thoughts?"
"You aren't exactly shielding yourself. There, there, my young apprentice, I don't expect you to get hang of things immediately, it's alright," Ben says, amused. "Concentrate on having legs again."
It takes a moment, but being in the Jedi Temple again, helps a little – the halls remind him. His feet had walked them, felt them, fought against the planet's gravity in small and big easy, in walking, in fighting. It's – almost too easy to pretend to be a living person again here.
"Good," Ben says, and lets him down gently. "Feel the emotions soaked into the Temple foundations, into her walls and floors. Thousand generations of Jedi have trusted these floors to carry them – you can trust them too."
"You're expecting me to phase through the floor," Obi-Wan guesses wryly, trying to cover his nervous excitement. Can he, actually, phase through physical objects now?
"You're a little further into the Force than you're out of it. Normally it's the other way around – people who join the Force usually have a hard time letting go of memories of physicality rather than the opposite, but you live to be a contradiction, don't you?" Ben muses and holds him with hands under Obi-Wan's armpits until he's sure Obi-Wan isn't about to sink into the floor. "Good. Keep that up and stick close to me and I have no doubt you will get instinctual hang of it in no time."
"Yes Master. But, uh… why are we here, why come to the Jedi Temple?" Obi-Wan asks, curious. He's fairly certain Ben could've taken them anywhere in the galaxy. "Not that I mind, it's good to be home, but… we're dead…?"
"Not quite," Ben says. "And we're still Jedi, even so, are we not?"
Obi-Wan basks for a moment in the easy acceptance. He might be dead, he might've never truly made a padawan, never mind a knight… but he's still a Jedi. "So, what," he says, trying to hide how pleased he is. "Are we here to haunt the Temple as ghosts?"
Ben snorts at that. "Well, there's an idea," he agrees, amused. "But no, not quite. I am here to claim you as my pupil, of course."
Obi-Wan looks at him, uncertainly. "Um," he says, not quite sure how to put it. They're dead. Obi-Wan Kenobi died on Bandomeer and Ben is a ghost from a alternate future. How…?
Ben chuckles and then begins walking down the corridor, towards the open hall where the lifts are. Obi-Wan follows him quickly, confusedly, and then he sees it – the Jedi ahead of them, frozen, staring at them. Staring at Ben.
They can see him!
Obi-Wan drags a stunned breath and his steps falter – hurriedly he looks around for someone, anyone he might know, but there are only three Jedi in the corridor, none of whom he's ever met. But if they can see them, if they can see him, then…!
I have mastered the art of manifesting myself into the material plane, as it were, Ben's voice murmurs to him, as clear and audible as if he'd spoken out loud even though his lips are sealed. You will learn this too, eventually – but right now they can only see me. I'm sorry – I will try to manifest you into visibility later as well, so that you can make your case. For now I'm afraid you will have to contend yourself with invisibility.
Obi-Wan hesitates. Oh, he thinks, and tries not to be disappointed. Is it a difficult ability to learn?
I'm afraid so. I trained for this for nearly twenty years in life before my death, and that was after I'd already attained the rank and the questionable wisdom of a Jedi Master, Ben explains. You, as a junior padawan, have a long way to go, and much, much to learn.
Obi-Wan draws a breath – and, again, to what lungs? – and then nods. I am prepared to work hard.
Ben smiles, nods politely to a gob smacked older Jedi Master, and then leads Obi-Wan to the elevators. And then Obi-Wan realises, a little belatedly, that… that Ben is manifesting himself visibly in the Jedi Temple. Which means that… that the Jedi can see him. They can see a glowing blue Force ghost walking around the Jedi Temple. And – and now he and Ben are headed up the spires, up, to the Council Chambers.
There's a ghost in the Jedi temple just casually taking an elevator.
The elevator doors close, cutting off the sight of three wide eyed, shocked Jedi. Obi-Wan looks at Ben and says, "Um…?"
Ben smiles and strokes his beard. "This is going to be fun," he predicts and looks at Obi-Wan. "I've always wanted to do this – come here like this and see how the Jedi would react to it. Never got the chance before. I think I'm going to enjoy this."
Obi-Wan has no idea what to say to that. "No one else has ever done this before, have they? Um… returned like this? As a ghost?"
"The skill isn't exactly common, no," Ben admits and the corners of his eyes crinkle with a mischievous smile. "Here's hoping we make a good impression, hm?"
Obi-Wan has even less idea what to say to that – but thankfully he's saved from making the attempt. The elevator comes to a halt and doors open – revealing the hallway leading to the chambers of the Jedi High Council… and a group of handful of Jedi Masters, who'd been waiting for an elevator.
They all freeze and stare, wide eyed and stunned, at Ben. "Hello there," the old Force Ghost says, smiling pleasantly. "I'm Jedi Master Ben, I'm here to claim a recently deceased initiate of this Order as my student."
Obi-Wan smothers the urge to shuffle his feet nervously – no one is looking at him, they can't see him and still the stares aimed at Ben feel heavy, the shock and alarm and confusion and what feels almost like fear feels like a current in a river. It's energy, Obi-Wan realises – it's the Force, reacting to emotions of the Jedi Masters, moving with them.
"You are – what are you?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asks, uneasy, his hand straying towards his lightsaber.
"I am Force ghost – Jedi Master in life, and in death too," Ben says calmly, like he can't feel the currents of emotions at all, like he doesn't feel the incredulity aimed at him. "In life I learned how to retain my coherency and essence in the Force past the limitations of my crude physical form and now exist as I am – a luminous being, one with the Force."
No one says anything for a moment, exchanging uneasy glances.
"That is – unheard of," someone says, which carries with it the whisper of that is heresy .
"Likely yes, it's not a common ability," Ben agrees and clasps his hands loosely in front of him. "But I am not here to announce myself – I am here to claim a student. May I make my case the Jedi High Council? Preferably in the council chambers and not in an elevator?"
There's a moment of clumsy, uncomfortable silence, and no one moves. They don't seem to know what to do.
And then Master Windu, who'd been swaying dangerously in the back, collapses onto the floor in dead faint.
There's a bit of hectic chaos, before they actually make it to the Council Chambers. Master Windu is taken away by padawans to the Halls of Healing to recover from something they call a shatterpoint, Master Yoda rushes in so fast that the gimmer stick doesn't even touch the ground, there's a bit of awkward shuffling and lot of very nervous looks thrown Ben's way, but… eventually they make it inside.
"Jedi you are," Yoda says, rubbing at his forehead like just looking at Ben is giving him a headache. "One with the Force you are. Dead you are and yet here you are. Claim a padawan you intend. Hrmh …"
"That's the gist of it, yes," Ben agrees pleasantly. "I could have gone to the Council of Reassignment, but considering my unique situation I figured this Council would be better equipped to handle my case."
Someone lets out a laugh that sounds vaguely hysterical, while most of the Councillors just stare at him. Obi-Wan isn't sure if he should be horrified or amused – it is kind of funny in the worst possible way, to see them all so pale. He didn't even know you could spook Jedi Masters like this, but they're definitely spooked. And why not? There's a ghost in their midst!
Obi-Wan smothers a hysterical giggle of his own, and Ben sends him a wave of warm amusement that soothes some of his anxious energies.
"Which youngling is the one in question?" Master Koon asks – he's the only Jedi not showing outward signs of shock or horror, but then, most of his expressions are hidden by his mask and goggles. "You implied they were… deceased." That brings the atmosphere of the room down to grimmer level – there's still shock and unease, but it's of different sort. "Was it recently?"
In lieu of answering, Ben turns to look at Obi-Wan and holds out both hands. "I'm going to let my presence course through you, to pull you further into the material plane with me," he says, vocally, letting the Jedi Masters hear it. "It will likely feel very weird, but it will do you no harm. May I?"
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan says, nervous, and takes his hands. Ben's fingers feel very real and solid as they close around his own.
And then he feels it, the accumulated experiences of thousands of worlds and times and people – the many different Obi-Wan Kenobi's this man had played the part of, the many futures he'd changed. It's like a vast, endless lake behind a steel wrought dam, and Ben is pulling open a sluice gate and letting some of that wealth of history just come pouring out, and into Obi-Wan, and through him into the Force.
Obi-Wan gasps – and then he feels the eyes on him. He can tell they recognise him, the Jedi High Council recognizes him. They know him, know of him. Not all of them but… most of them do. And they didn't expect to see him here, not at all.
"Obi-Wan died some half an hour ago in an explosion in Bandomeer," Ben explains to the suddenly solemn, begrieved Jedi High Council. "I happened upon him, as he was joining the Force – and I intend to make him my student."
Obi-Wan lifts his eyes, and almost winces at the looks aimed at him. There's so much regret. Yoda's is the worst – heavy and old and so guilty. The Jedi Masters are quick to release their emotions into the Force – but that just leaves them hanging around the chamber like a cloud of bad mood, heavy and loaded with grim loss.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi," says a Jedi Master Obi-Wan doesn't know, an older human male. "You were on the same world as Qui-Gon Jinn. I thought…" he casts a look towards Yoda, frowning.
"Master Jinn is alive," Obi-Wan blurts out quickly. "I know he is – he was the last I saw him. He has to be."
"He is. Obi-Wan sacrificed his life for Master Jinn," Ben agrees, squeezing Obi-Wan's hands gently and facing the old Jedi Master. "Though he will likely need support once he makes his way back here – the shock of having his old, fallen padawan cause the death of his prospective new padawan will likely do no favours for his mental health. But I am not here for Qui-Gon Jinn."
There's unease in the air, adding to the cloud of emotion hanging over them all. "Check up on Qui-Gon later we can," Yoda says quietly. "Right you are, Master Ben – priority this takes. Obi-Wan Kenobi, how… how feel you?"
"I – feel a little confused, Master," Obi-Wan admits. "And like someone is running a small river current through me which –" he stops. "I died content in the knowledge that I had done the best I could, and that I faced my time calmly and with no regrets," he says. "And I am excited about the path ahead of me."
Ben squeezes his fingers again gently and smiles encouragingly to him. "Are you scared, Obi-Wan?" he asks.
Obi-Wan shakes his head. "No, not at all. I haven't been scared at all since I died."
Ben looks at the Jedi Council, who look at him in turn, look at Obi-Wan with still more regret and guilt. And with Ben's force presence surging through him, Obi-Wan can sort of understand why. The Jedi Masters are supposed to look after their younglings, their initiates, their padawans – and here he is, forcing them to face yet another failure. Jedi die all the time, it's a sad fact of reality – but it's especially difficult, when it's a child. They feel guilty for failing him.
"Unprecedented this is," Master Yaddle murmurs, stroking her chin. "Impossible, even. Strange, certainly. And yet, a youngling there is, and in need of a Master he is – and Master there is, wishing to train him."
The other Councillors send her looks, some of them visibly incredulous. "This is – look at him," Master Poof says, motioning to Ben. "Whatever this is, however he attained this, it's not the Jedi way. This –" he flails to find the right words. "This is unnatural."
"There is no death, there is the Force," Ben says calmly.
"We join the Force after death, we don't – we don't linger as ghosts !" Master Poof almost snaps at him. "This is heresy!"
Ben arches his brows at that. "There are no heretics in the Force, there is no sinners in the Force – the Force does not judge. Light and Dark and all things in between, all the myriad shades of colour, are all equal in the Force. Or do you claim to know better?"
"Bah," Poof answers, but doesn't argue, leaning back in his seat instead.
"Later can theology be discussed," Yoda says, shaking his head. "And interesting discussion it will be. But not the matter at hand it is. Obi-Wan is what matters here – a youngling lost to us. Obi-Wan Kenobi, wish to learn from this man do you?"
"Yes, Master, very much," Obi-Wan says quickly.
"You can't be agreeing with this," Master Poof objects. "How do we even know he's a Jedi in the first place? I certainly remember no Jedi Master Ben!"
"Remember all the Jedi of the past do you, Master Poof?" Yaddle asks amusedly. "Forgotten more Jedi I have than you have ever known. Master Ben, when did you join the Force?"
"As time passed for me, hundreds of years ago," Ben answers calmly. "How long ago it was as time passed for you I cannot say."
Obi-Wan somehow manages not to give him an incredulous look. Ben shushes him mentally.
"That's not an answer!" Yarael Poof complains.
"Jedi he is, Jedi Master he is, feel it all of us can. Master Ben, intend to stay here do you?" Yoda asks, rubbing at his forehead.
"It would be the easiest way for Obi-Wan to start," Ben agrees. "Until he learns and becomes stronger, he will be vulnerable – the Force permeating the Jedi Temple would do to shelter him at the start."
Yoda hums and looks at the other councillors and Obi-Wan can feel himself begin floating with excitement.
"Then, your padawan will Obi-Wan Kenobi be," Yoda says.
For a moment Obi-Wan feels a surge of something, a shifting of a tide – like suddenly a whole moon had changed orbits and pulled all the currents with it to a whole new direction. The future shifts as Master Ben smiles and bows his head to the sudden cacophony that fills the Council Chambers. As to Obi-Wan – he can barely contain the sudden burst of joy. He's dead, he's one with the Force, but he's still a Jedi – he's a padawan! For real this time, confirmed by the Jedi High Council itself.
"Thank you, Masters," he breathes and Yoda manages a smile, though it still looks troubled.
"Yes indeed, thank you, Masters," Ben agrees, amused.
"This is going to be a disaster," Master Poof says quietly. "This will shake the very foundations of this temple."
"Yes," Master Yaddle agrees. "Sometimes good shakes are. Aerate the soil they do, freshen old, deep grown roots they do, stagnant still waters they stir. Change a natural part of life is, and change I see in our future, yes."
"Change for better or worse?" Master Koon asks thoughtfully.
"Change change is," Yoda says and stands up, leaning to his gimmer stick. "Something new this will be. Master Ben, rooms do you require?"
"No, thank you Masters, we don't need physical things," Ben says, bowing his head again. "We can stay in the Room of Thousand Fountains for now."
"Then settled it is," Yoda says. "Welcome you back to the Jedi order we do, Master Ben, padawan Kenobi. Interesting I feel your careers will be."
Yoda, you have no idea.