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Yoongi woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He wasn't the biggest fan of mornings, which could be guessed from the way he had snoozed his alarm at least five times before he finally got up from the bed. However, after two years of therapy, antidepressants and shit tons of hard work, he didn't feel like killing himself every goddamn morning.
As he walked to his morning literature class, he thought back to the hard times in his life. Only about a year ago, he still had such a hard time to find any motivation to live a normal life, but now it was weird to think back to those times. Yoongi found it hard to believe that his mind used to be so dark and hopeless. Of course he still had bad days, days when everything went wrong and he felt lost, but nothing could ever compare to the feeling of being depressed.
Suddenly Yoongi understood how far he had come. He had been diagnosed free from depression for a half a year already, but the sudden realisation still came as a shock. An unexpected calmness and content filled Yoong, as he fully enjoyed his morning walk to the campus.
Twenty minutes later, Yoongi sat down with a cup of fresh coffee and set up his laptop in order to start the lesson.
Yoongi's peace was interrupted by a loud “Hey, Yoongi!” The person calling for him was no other than Kim Namjoon himself, the first friend Yoongi made in university three years ago. Namjoon also takes literature classes, but he majors in linguistics, while Yoongi concentrates fully on literature and writing.
“You look suspiciously happy today. Did something happen?” asked Namjoon as he sat down next to his friend. Yoongi gave him a little smile, “Nothing much, today just felt like a good day.”
Namjoons eyes softened when he saw Yoongi's smile. “Oh, that's good to hear, hyung.” He had been Yoongi's friend throughout all the bad and ugly times, so seeing his hyung smile from nothing more than just living made him feel good as well.
Namjoon was just about to ask something more but he was cut short by the professor who started his class. So instead of an answer, Namjoon got one more soft smile, which left him a little dizzy through the whole lecture.
<3 <3 <3
“Hey, Joon, do you have some time before your next class?”
The question was the first thing that left Yoongi's lips after the lecture ended. Namjoon was a little startled from the abdurt question, as he was still thinking about the professor's last words, but nodded still. “Yeah, I have an hour to spear before my next class.”
“Great, let's have some lunch then.” said Yoongi enthusiastically, “I have something I want to talk to you about.” With that Yoongi left the room, not waiting for the younger to see if he followed.
“Is it something bad?” wondered Namjoon, as he trailed after his hyung like a lost puppy. “Am I in trouble?”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, but the food smile had still not left his lips. “You're not in trouble. And is it something bad… well, this part you have to figure out yourself.”
“Ookay?” Namjoon gave him a puzzled look, but didn't pray any more, knowing that Yoongi will talk when he is ready.
They sat down in a small and quiet restaurant, barely bigger than a hole-in-a-wall. They ordered from a young girl, and were waiting for their food when Yoongi was ready to speak.
“So,” he started, hesitantly, “remember when about a year ago you asked me out? And I declined, saying I wasn't ready?” Yoongi kept his gaze down, not ready to look Namjoon in the eyes just yet.
“Yeah, and I said that I understood, and that I would give you space so we could stay friends,” answered Namjoon with a growing lost expression on his face. Suddenly he gasped loudly “Oh my god, Yoongi, have I been too much? I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, just tell me and I can give you all the space you need.”
“No no, that's not it.” Yoongi looked up and the men's panicked gazes met. Yoongi took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to gather his thoughts.
“It's the opposite, actually. I have been okay for a half a year now, but the last few months have been really good.” Yoongi was once again avoiding Namjoon's gaze, rather looking at the ceiling than the man in front of him.
“And I was thinking over the offer you made. To try, you know, dating. And I think I'm ready now. If you are still interested, that is. No pressure, though. Just say no if –”
“Yes!” Namjoons loud voice echoed back from the small room, startling the girl who was bringing their food. “Oh, I'm sorry,” apologized Namjoon swiftly. The girl gave a small smile and left quickly, not wanting to be scared by the strange men again.
Both Namjoon and Yoongi sat quietly for a few seconds, blushing faces looking down. Out of the blue, Namjoon helt Yoongi's hand cover his from where it sat on the table. He looked up and his gaze was met with Yoongi's gummy smile, happy and full of hope. It was so radiant, that Namjoon felt himself smile as well, even if he was still blushing from embarrassment.
No words were exchanged between them as they ate, hands linked all the time. They finished their food in comfortable silence and walked back to campus hand in hand.
“So… How's tomorrow for dinner and a movie? I'll pick you up at around six?” asked Namjoon as they had reached his next class.
“I'd like that very much.” Yoongi's blush had calmed down, but was not totally gone when he reached up on his tiptoes and gave Namjoon a fast kiss on his cheek. Namjoon's face was in flames in a second, but he mirrored Yoongi's excited smile as they waved each other goodbye.
Yoongi didn't feel content anymore when he was walking home from campus. Instead, it was placed with excitement. But excitement feels good as well, decided Yoongi. Especially if the excitement comes from love.