Actions

Work Header

the magnificent way we are cursed; to be each other's pull of gravity

Summary:

"I don't have anyone to kiss,"

"Hm. Here I thought you had me,"

Notes:

Happy new year! I hope y'all enjoy this fic, because I definitely enjoyed writing it!!

Title is semi lifted from lyrics from Ivy by Taylor Swift bc my personality is basically just loving doctorrose and taylor swift 24/7

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Despite their eagerness to resume their travels, their feet itching to get back out there, among the stars, they stayed on Earth, on the Powell estate for a week. While Rose has more than accepted that this energetic, tall, fluffy-haired man is the Doctor, a lot has still happened, for the both of them, so a week respite at her mother’s to process everything before leaving was much needed.

And not just for her, or him, but for her Mum. It’s easy, when out there, to let everything fall by the wayside. Of course, she always misses her Mum when out there, but in the TARDIS, it is so very easy to feel timeless, almost.

But that isn’t the reality. And while her Mum has finally, truly, begun to accept that Rose’s place is now by the Doctor’s side, exploring worlds and saving the day, she still is her Mum. And while everything that happened, on the game station, and then Christmas Day only felt like a few days to Rose, her Mum had to go nearly two months with the last time she saw her daughter being disappearing in the TARDIS to save the Doctor from certain death.

Rose knows this life isn’t exactly fair on her mother, that she must always be worried that one day, Rose will die out there, but at least usually her Mum could maybe believe she’s okay, but leaving like she did when she went back to the game station, that must’ve been as dreadful as when Rose disappeared for a year.

So this week’s respite was as much for her than it is for Rose and the Doctor. Rose is not so naive to believe that if the Doctor hadn’t changed—regenerated—that they would’ve stayed for more than a handful of days which makes this, despite it still being confusing, a good thing, because the events has given them a slight pause in their travels.

It helps, Rose thinks, as another reason as to why it feels easier to pause for a week even in their impatience, that the Doctor now seems much more at ease to rest than how he was before. It’s almost funny; when he was northern, he was a lot less energetic yet more itchy to keep moving, whereas now he’s not unalike from a puppy he seems more at ease with stopping.

She wonders if that’s down to his change, or if it’s because of the ordeal they went through at the game station. If she were to ask him, Rose predicts that he’d probably say some spiel about it being due to his regeneration, and Rose does believe that’s a factor, but she can’t believe it’s the only factor.

He may have changed his face, but he’s still her Doctor, and Rose has found she can still read his face, understand the tilts in his voice, understand the choice of his words, just as clearly as before.

They have spent a rather lot of this week practically glued to each other’s sides, and a great deal of time in her bedroom, talking, processing everything together. Rose had a lot of questions about regeneration, about the game station, and the Doctor had been happy to answer them, sitting, hand in hand, on her bed.

Some of the discussions were more sad, like when she asked about Jack. She had hesitation at asking, because with his presence not being here could only mean one thing, which meant she would be asking more for a confirmation. But she had to, and his eyes held all the answers she needed.

It was important to find the light in the dark, that’s what her northern Doctor had taught her. So that’s what she did, when she cried about Jack, crying into the Doctor. He smells different, something Rose will always think is strange, but the same—there is still that essence, the one that’s just so the Doctor, the one she associates with time itself.

It comforts her, another thing to help her process the Doctor’s change. Something that made her still feel like she is home in his arms, like she did when he was blue eyed and northern.

Some were more happy, amusing, as he told her about previous bodies he had been in. Rose had laughed at his description of a long multi-coloured scarf, or him telling her he used to wear clothing with question marks. These were the stories which comforts her the most, helping to alleviate her guilt about how technically she killed him. The Doctor had repeatedly assured her that he was dead anyway, that she didn’t kill him but save him, but Rose knows the guilt will be there for a while. But his stories, his words flowing enthusiastically out of him, that helps to make the guilt shrink.

Many of these stories happened late at night, which made it ever so more fun, to watch as the Doctor desperately tried to keep his voice to an excited whisper, and for her to try to stifle her giggles. It would’ve been easy to go into the TARDIS, where they wouldn’t have to mind their sounds, but Rose is glad that they didn’t, as it felt more special, them having to mind usual human considerations.

That isn’t the reason they weren’t in the TARDIS, despite Rose’s gladness that they weren’t. When they had decided to stay until the New Year, Rose knew she wanted to stay in her old room in the flat. The bed isn’t nearly as comfy as her one on the TARDIS, but she knew her Mum would feel better with her sleeping in the flat.

The Doctor had then said that he’d stay in the TARDIS, if anything just to make sure she’s safe. Rose hadn’t been having any of that, not because she thinks he’ll leave her or anything like that, but because the thought of him being all the way out the flat, away from her, makes her feel uncomfortably panicked.

She could guess why, that they had came so close to loosing each other, that she didn’t want to take her eyes off him for a while, but Rose had not wanted to voice this to the Doctor, not wanting to seem like she had any choice in where he stays. She had protested, but tried to be casual. The Doctor had understood, with no words needed, something that made Rose feel all warm inside.

So the Doctor stayed in her room. Rose had offered him to sleep beside her, on her bed—it’s not like they haven’t before, having visited many an inn too full—but he didn’t take her up on the offer, stating he has an alien airbed that’s probably far comfier than anything humans can make (and having sat on the airbed herself, Rose is inclined to agree).

The TARDIS is also in her room. It makes things very cramped—them having to do a climbing sort of routine to get out—but Rose understands the Doctor’s own need to make sure the old girl was safe, and having her in her head, despite remembering nothing but light and the feeling of goodness, Rose has similar wants.

There was technically no actual space for her to sit, on clear floor, so she had parked over Rose’s dresser, the Doctor having landed her so she took the dresser inside of her, instead of destroying it—something that amazed both Jackie and Mickey.

And so, that is how they’ve been for the past week. Talking for hours in her room, sleeping separately by right next to one another, her hand hanging down to be still entwined with his as she slept. When outside, they were glued to one another, only being apart when the Doctor was doing some work on the TARDIS, and Rose was catching up with friends and family.

It has never stopped amazing Rose how the Doctor could change his whole body, and even his personality to a degree, and they could still be as close as they ever were, maybe even more since this body seemed much more at ease with their constant need to touch each other.

Rose is watching the Doctor now, laughing with her Mum of all people, talking and bonding with an ease she didn’t know he could have. He said that his personality changes with each regeneration, and Rose supposes that’s correct for the superficial things—his taste in tea, in clothing—but this ease of talking comes from his core characteristics, Rose is sure of that.

His regeneration is undoubtedly what has caused this ease, but not because his shift in personality, but because it’s removed that wall he’s always had, the one in place to stop him from making connections, stops him lingering to long in one place.

Although she had accepted that he is still the Doctor, that this is just one more thing about travelling with him, Rose is unsure how she feels about the regeneration process altogether, but she knows it must be a good thing, if it has helped him open himself up to her family.

No turning back now, Rose thinks. Her place is by his side, the only place she wants to be, but she thinks, even if she did, she’s made her choice, to stay with him—because if him being able to open up to her family is as linked to her presence as she thinks, then if she was ever to leave him...Rose doesn’t want to think about how that could affect him, make him withdraw back to himself.

Not that’ll ever happen, no, Rose is in this for the long haul. As long as he wants her next to him, that’s where she’ll be.

Roooose?” The sound of the Doctor’s voice saying her name, waving his hand in front of her, drags Rose out of her deep thoughts, and she realises he’s no longer across the room talking to her Mum, but standing beside her.

“Hi,” She smiles at him, pushing his hand down and out of her face. He grins back at her, brown eyes sparkling at her.

“Hi,” he responds, entwining her hand with his, with a familiar ease that made Rose feel all warm inside.

“What were you deep in thought about?” He asks her, standing so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Rose knows his closeness to her is more practical; it’s New Year’s, so they were at a party, and with how many people were in this flat, and the music playing, closeness was essential for a private conversation, but still, it makes Rose’s body heat up in response.

“Oh, nothing much. Just you, talking to my Mum,” She grins at him, “I never knew you could be so friendly and domestic, Doctor,” Rose teases, not for the first time surprised at how easy the words come to her.

“What have I told you, Rose Tyler? I’m full of surprises.” The Doctor responds, his voice also light and teasing. As Rose smiles up at him, their eyes looking into to each other’s, their hands twisting together, she thinks that she could just live in this perfect, content moment.

“That you are,” Rose bumps her shoulder into him, trying to focus her mind on the words they’re exchanging rather than the closeness of their bodies—and how the closeness feels still too much of a distance.

He once described the pull of gravity to her, and now that’s all she can think about, that they’re two magnets, tied together, forever being pulled towards one another.

This is not a new feeling, it’s a feeling that developed early on and before the game station was very much reaching an intense point, full of tension and promise, and since he regenerated, and the wall dropped, it’s became even harder for her to ignore.

“It’s nearly midnight,” Rose states, biting her lip. The intensity of their connection, and the wine coursing through her body, is making her mind go in dangerous directions. Rose is unsure if what she sees the Doctor next is her imagination or not, as it happens so quickly, but his eyes drop from her own for just a second, looking at her lips, then back up at her. Quickly, his tongue darts out, wetting his lips.

“So it is,” He says. Rose’s heart is beating in her chest, but any inhibitions leaves her at his words, taking it—hopefully—as the invitation, the permission, the encouragement to continue.

“I don’t know about you Time Lords, but us humans, well, we have a midnight kiss tradition,” Rose closes some more of the gap between them. She has no doubt that he hasn’t heard of what they do on midnight before, but phrasing it like this gives Rose more confidence.

“So I’ve heard,” If adrenaline wasn’t being pumped through her body more than it’s ever done with their running, Rose would be infuriated by his short responses, leaving possible room for doubt, that Rose surely would have sober.

“I don’t have anyone to kiss.” Rose tells him, looking straight up at him, hoping her intentions are being shown clearly in her expression. The Doctor wets his lips again.

“Hm. Here I thought you had me,” The Doctor’s eyes glint at her, no longer any space between their bodies as he gives her a positively wicked look. Rose feels her heart skip a beat at his words, finding it difficult to wrap her mind around that he was actually forward and upfront with her.

“My mistake,” Rose’s expression matches his own, while she tries desperately to ignore her fast beating heart, and the sound of his hearts beating just as fast, focusing on remembering every single detail of his face, of this moment, determined that she’ll remember it forever.

Right on cue, just before the intensity gets too much for her, the countdown to midnight begins. Counting down out loud with her family and friends is one of her favourite moments of New Year’s, but the thought of acknowledging anyone else outside of their little bubble is so far out of her mind. Instead, they take in turns gently whispering the numbers.

“...3..”


“...2..” 


“...1,”


As soon as the countdown reaches zero, and it’s officially the new year, Rose and the Doctor has no hesitation, wasting no more time, and finally, they kiss.

When Rose was younger, she had been obsessed with her first kiss, and the thought of fireworks feeling like they’re going off, like she saw in the movies. It’s a understandable to say her first kiss was not like that.
But now, as they kiss, she lives a childhood dream as literal fireworks go off and somehow, that makes the kiss feel even more special.

And Rose knows, more than ever, that she is completely and deeply in love with the Doctor, and that this kiss doesn’t just start off the new year, a new incredible year, but starts off a new stage in their relationship.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Comments and kudos are always welcomed and appreciated. :)