Chapter Text
Is there word or right to say
Even in this old-fashioned way?
Go make your move girl.
I'm not coming home.
Would things have changed if I could've stayed?
Would you have loved me either way?
Dressed to the blues
Day to day with my collar up.
Decision sits so make it quick
A breath inhaled from an air so sick
I cursed the day that I'd learned
Of the web you span
You had your hold till bleeding
If it was up to me
I would've figured you out
Way before the year clocked out
Oh, I hope you're waiting
I hope you're waiting
People change and hurt people hurt other people in return…
That sentence summed up so many things in your life at the moment. Your eyes turned to the Slytherin table where Regulus Black sat with his friends. The boy that you had a crush on since 1st year changed and not in a good way. He had gone from being somewhat kind to downright vicious. After he started making closer friends with Evan Rosier, a few years before Regulus had turned further into his “pure blood nature.” The last thing that he wanted was a “mudblood” like you for a friend. Hearing those words leave his mouth still hurt you to this day and that had been over two years ago. Why you let it both you, you weren’t sure. You were just Lily Evan’s mudblood little sister...nothing impressive (his words, not yours).
You frowned, scowling at Evan Rosier. He sat telling some animated story that had Regulus, Snape, and Barty Crouch Jr laughing. Evan was a topic of rage for you. If Evan hadn’t stuck his nose in your friendship with Regulus then there was a possibility that the two of you would have remained friends to this day.
Screw Evan and everything that he stands for!
It was Snape that looked in your direction. He gave you a polite smile before looking back to his friends. He was the one boy at that table that was kind to you. Granted it had to do with his insane crush on your sister but he was still nice all the same. Now that Lily wouldn’t talk to him after him calling her a mudblood, he used you to get information on Lily. “How is Lily?” “Is she doing okay? What about you?” (Those were Snape’s big questions (when his Slytherin buddies weren’t around).
That whole little table would shit a monkey if they knew that Regulus and I were sleeping together....then.
You thought with a cold glare. Sex was all that there was to it. Regulus liked to play rough and you were glad to go along with it. You were, after all in Regulus’ mind, the little Hufflepuff who he could easily manipulate into whatever he wanted. At first, it was just seeing what all of the hype was about. Was sex really as good as everyone went on about? In short, yes. It was exactly what everyone said and then some. Lovemaking turned into Regulus developing some major kinks.
You longed for the day when Regulus was a sweet quiet boy who enjoyed your company. Now he was something else and you couldn’t put your finger on it.
“My favorite hufflebuddy!”
Your thoughts were interrupted when Sirius plopped down beside you and pulled you into an overdramatic hug. Everything that Sirius did was overdramatic but you didn’t mind. He was getting you out of your head.
“And my favorite gigantic lapdog.”
You said with a smile earring a bigger grin from Sirius as James plopped down on your other side.
“Mini-red, you are looking a little gloomy this fine morning.”
You were used to Sirius and James calling you “mini-red.” It didn’t matter how many times that you told them that neither Lily nor yourself enjoyed being called big and mini-red it never stopped. You learned to accept it as some form of unusual endearment and roll with it.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind with this potions class. Slughorn is going crazy.”
James looked thoughtful as he reached across the table for a cup of juice.
“Why do you think that I bailed out of potions as soon as I could? Lils seems to love him. From what I have heard he adores both Lily and yourself.”
You nodded.
“He does. He also adores Regulus.”
Sirius frowned
“Like my brother, Regulus?”
“How many others are there?”
You questioned. Sirius chuckled before his expression darkened.
“Watch out for him, Y/n. Just go with me on it.”
You couldn’t help but notice the expression on Sirius’ face went from jovial ready to prank someone to dark and depressed.
“What’s going on with him?”
You asked, cautiously. Sirius didn’t respond but instead, James did.
“Sirius believes that Regulus is now a death eater.”
“Believes? I know. I mean look at him! He looks like the perfect death eater. Plus all of his little friends are so why wouldn’t he join the crowd?”
James, Sirius, and yourself turned to look at Regulus who was staring at you three. You were afraid to look at him. The last thing that you wanted to do was meet his dark gaze. Since Regulus started changing you were scared of him. If he was a death eater, you would be someone on his list. Why would he want to be kind to a filthy mudblood?
(Meanwhile)
Regulus’ attention had turned to you when Sirius started hugging you like some kind of stuffed animal. Why that he cared so much he wasn't sure. Regulus didn’t even want to admit to himself that he cared for you. You were everything that his family trained him to despise. Yet here he was having some kind of weird fluttering feelings in his stomach when you were near. He hated you yet he wanted you...it made no sense.
“Why does she have to be so fucking beautiful?”
Regulus thought with a glare. He wanted nothing more than to walk across the great hall and shove you against the wall.
He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was jealous of Sirius’ friendship with you. Regulus was jealous of all the Marauders for their friendship with you. You were their little pet Hufflepuff when you were his first! He was the one that made love to you the first time. You were his lover and now Sirius seemed to be moving in on what was his.
“It’s your own fault that she got scared of you.”
Regulus’ mind supplied. He had taken extra steps to scare you away. Whether it be his unkind words or dark distant stares, you finally edged away. Regulus also didn’t want to admit that it was because he called you a stupid mudblood in front of all of his friends.
“Don’t think on it, Regulus.”
Regulus’ thoughts were interrupted by Snape’s voice. He looked up quickly.
“What are you talking about?”
He questioned. Snape motioned to you.
“Y/n Evans. You don’t need a companion Hufflepuff. I know that she was something to you a few years ago…”
“I was a stupid child. I don’t have any feelings for the mudblood girl. The same could be said about you and Y/n’s sister.”
Snape’s mouth formed a hard line. Regulus knew all about Snape and Lily’s friendship falling apart. He saw it happen.
“I’m not talking about myself. I am talking about you. We have enough duties to the dark lord to perform. If you were to be swayed by the girl, you would both be killed.”
Regulus scowled as he noticed your eyes flicker in his direction before quickly looking away. You were scared of him. Regulus wanted to be thrilled but at the same time, it was gut-wrenching. What Snape nor anyone else seemed to know was after Regulus ruined your friendship; he wrote you letters every day for three months. He sent letters and little gifts that would appeal to your quirky personality in hopes that he could win you back. You ignored everything.
He assumed that it was all for the best but it made the “gentle” side of Regulus sob in fury. What you didn’t know was you were the first person in his life that showed him any form of love. Seeing you shove his letter in the rubbish bin or deep into your bag with little to no expression on your face hurt him horribly!
Regulus swallowed back the rage and made a mental note that he needed to stop being so wishy-washy and focus on everything being for the best. There was no way that Regulus as a death eater could have a muggle-born girlfriend. It would be the biggest crock of shit known to wizardkind!
It's for the best…
Half an hour later you walked into Potions with a book in front of your face. You had been gleefully reading some romance book that Marlene McKinnon recommended to you. This was the closest that you would seemingly get to a healthy and not toxic relationship.
Sitting down you put the book up as Professor Slughorn stood up. He gave all of his favorite students his usual friendly good morning.
“Ms. Evans, you did a wonderful job on the last test. I can see that a wonderful brain is a quality with the Evans family.”
You smiled, happily as Professor Slughorn put your most recent test in front of you. Perfect score.
“I am assigning partners for our next project. I know that I typically let everyone pick partners but I think this time we will be doing something different. It's time to see how other people in the classroom work together.”
You internally muttered “uh oh” under your breath. For projects, you always teamed up with a Ravenclaw girl named Emilia Abbott. The two of you had made a common ground of helping each other keep perfect grades on Potions. Up until now, your plan worked like a charm.
“Okay, Mr. Black, I am putting you with Y/n Evans. The two of you have the highest grade in this class. I want to see what amazing things the two of you can do together.”
WHAT?!
You nearly shrieked the moment that Slughorn made that comment. Was it too late to drop potions? Would you really need this class after all? You could always take double potions next year, right?
After Slughorn paired everyone up, you didn't move to where Regulus was sitting. In fact, you didn’t even look in his direction. If he wanted to be your partner then he could get his ass up and come to you. Maybe he would magically forget who you were. Forget the fact that you spent a lot of time underneath him in the room of requirement with his hand on your ass.
What you didn’t see was Regulus staring at you with a frown on his face. He was waiting for you to get up. Instead, you didn’t move. You sat like a little statue staring dead ahead and trying to hide under your red hair.
Rolling his eyes, Regulus finally stood up. He walked across the room and sat down at the table that you were occupying. You didn’t look up nor meet his face.
“We do have to talk to each other, you know.”
Regulus commented. You finally met his eyes. The expression on your face was wary and your guard was up. No longer were you the happy girl that Regulus considered his Hufflepuff buddy. You weren’t the girl that went to him when someone was giving you a hard time or the girl who would try telling him a joke but giggle the whole time. Now you were silent.
“I suppose we do.”
You replied. Regulus had forgotten how much he missed your voice...your sweet gentle voice that was not loud but instead that remained even and soft even if you were mad.
“What potion do you want to do the report on?”
Regulus asked.
“I don’t know.”
You said, sounding almost lost. Since Regulus had sat down, you tried not to look at him. Your vision had gone from his green tie, to his hands, to his family ring, to his left arm. Was there a dark mark under this dress shirt? You couldn’t help but wonder if Sirius was right.
“Look, I am not going to fail this project because you are acting like a clueless tart.”
Your green eyes immediately met his. Regulus was waiting for you to cuss him out but he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He had barely heard you say the word “fuck.” It didn’t matter how much he tried to get you to step outside of your comfort zone, you wouldn’t say some words.
“What? Have something to say?”
He questioned. You quickly stood and gathered your books before storming out of the class without another word.