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John Bender was 25 now; 7 years since he’d graduated, and 7 years since he’d broken up with his high-school sweetheart. He should have known it was too good to be true.
7 years ago, Andrew Clark had left for college, going halfway across the country and leaving Chicago in the dust. He’d been a well-known athlete throughout his college years, and was thrown into the professional world right after.
Andrew had his new life, his career, his family... his family. Two kids and a wife. Nothing he’d ever thought he’d want. And maybe he still didn’t want it - but he would be there for his kids. His wife, however, well... things were tense. Things were strained.
Bender had nothing but a studio apartment, his hometown, and spite-driven survival instincts.
And that’s how it was meant to be, wasn’t it?
But nights in downtown Chicago were unpredictable, and that night was even more-so than the typical. When Bender walked into the bar, he knew he recognized the man sitting alone. He tried to convince himself it was someone else, just a coincidence, but it had to be Andrew. And Bender, being the impulsive bastard he was, knew he had to take this chance while he still had it.
“Sporto? ‘S that you?”
When Andrew heard that nickname, he knew there could only be one person to blame as the source of noise. It felt like a fever dream - so much so, in fact, that his reaction was extremely delayed. Sitting at the bar, he stared down at his half-empty glass of whiskey, memories of high school flooding his mind.
He glanced over his shoulder after a moment, doing a quick scan of the bar. And it was exactly who his both simultaneously wanted to see and wished wasn’t there. His old high-school sweetheart, none other than John Bender - a tired looking brunette with a denim jacket and a wickedly enchanting grin.
Bender really hadn’t changed, had he?
“I - Bender? ‘S that you?” Andy mustered a small laugh.
“Who the hell do you think I am?” he rose a brow, inviting himself to sit down at the bar beside the other man.
“Couldn’t forget your face” he snorted in reply with a shrug.
It’d been forever. Well, if 7 years was long enough to consider forever - and in both Andrew and Bender’s minds’, it was. At least, it felt that way.
“Damn, I... how’s life been, John?”
First names, huh?
“Eh... not gonna lie, life’s been kicking my ass. Nothing new” he admitted, drumming his fingers on the bar.
Nothing new. But that was the truth.
Bender hadn’t had it easy. He left his dad’s as soon as he could, trying to get out of his situation. He went right for a job, and that’s all he’d been doing since graduation. In and out of jobs, in and out of studio apartments, even a few months spent on the street. Rent was expensive, and he could barely afford his medication - often he’d skip it, just for money’s sake.
“But ‘s not important,” he quickly added. “What about you, Sporto? I’ve seen you’re makin’ it out there”
“You deserve better, yknow...” Andrew sighed, finishing the amber liquid in a few more sips. “You’ve been keeping up with my career, huh? And life is good. Can’t complain...”
He gave a vague answer to John’s question - a full one didn’t feel right. Andrew knew he’d lucked out. Unrealistic standards from his father really did help push him to get into a good school, and eventually get into a good job. He had a good life and he knew it. Steady income, wife, kids... what more could he ask for?
“Well, I dunno what you expected. A poor attention deficit with no skills that people wanna pay for” Bender snorted. Joking about his situation - another thing that wasn’t new. “And you’re making me sound creepy, Sporto. I just hear ‘bout you every now and then”
Andrew nodded a bit as he listened, toying with his wedding ring as he did so. Nervous habits, naturally.
The small movements, however, drew Bender’s eyes towards the scene, and his heart broke. God, he felt stupid. Was he really gonna stay hung up on a high school fling?
It meant much more to Bender than just a fling.
“You got hitched, huh?” he spoke, his disappointment more obvious than he intended.
“Oh, uh, yeah - can’t even begin to describe her” Andrew laughed, though he cursed himself silently.
He nearly forgot his wedding band would give away his current status. It was selfish, wanting to hide that, but... with John here? Maybe he could get some closure. He never did get over their relationship before rushing into marriage... and, his feelings never did die. Maybe that was the real problem.
“What about you? Got anyone?” he turned the subject onto John.
“Nah, uh... no” he spoke in return, “Had a few relationships here and there. None of ‘em worked out long term, though”
He couldn’t help but wonder if any of it meant anything to Andy - that went for both their past relationship, and Andy’s current one. It felt desperate, but God, he wanted his Sporto back.
“I’ve been in Chicago since high school” his train of thought continued “Been thinking about getting outta here, just need to pull together some cash”
Andrew nodded, finally pulling his hand away from the wedding band. “You’ll find someone” he tried to assure, leaving out his own feelings. He’d been having trouble convincing himself he loved his wife the way he was supposed to already, and with John back in the picture...
“If you needed, I could lend you some cash”
“C’mon, I’m not gonna take it - I don’t need to move away. Just a nice thought”
Bender didn’t need to, no, but he wanted to. He’d been trapped in Chicago all his life, every street reminding him of something from his childhood. Something he wished to forget. But moving... he also wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. He barely had anyone to call a friend around here... starting new? That’d be a mess, especially considering he’d be moving alone. And where would he even move to? There were too many variables left undetermined.
“Well... can I buy you a drink at least?”
“I... yeah. Yeah, why not”
“You drink beer? Er - order whatever. It’s on me” he pulled out a twenty.
“On the occasion, yeah” Bender nodded. He was more careful about alcohol than one might have assumed - the fear of becoming his father was constant. “You don’t have to - “
“I want to”
Bender had only been around for what... ten, twenty minutes? Yet Andrew was ready to throw his perfect life away just to be with him again.
“I’ve missed you, John... “
“Yeah?” the other rose a brow after ordering his drink. Perfect, just what he wanted to hear... he wanted to say everything now. Explain to him how miserable he truly was, explain how badly he wanted Andy back - he couldn’t do that.
“I’ve missed ya too, maybe more than I should”
“What’s that mean?”
The comment left Andrew with so many what-ifs, his mind running through all the possibilities.
“Uh... yknow, life... haven’t moved on?” Bender replied cautiously, his tone of voice odd. “I know... it’s been years, ‘n obviously you got our life. And I got mine”
There went all the emotions the high-school criminal swore he wouldn’t spill. Sure, it wasn’t a lot of words, but it was a vulnerability he didn’t want. He wasn’t aware, however, that his jock counterpart had been waiting to hear - a chance at closure.
“Getting a life doesn’t always mean moving on... I mean, look at us” he gave a weak laugh in response to Bender’s short-lived openness.
Bender shrugged, taking a swig of his beer. “I just... never found anyone else quite like you. Guess that was my problem, I was lookin’ for you in everyone else”
On both ends, it was becoming certain that this newfound bravery was nothing but a symptom of drinking and yearning.
“Yeah... I didn’t give myself time. Just kinda... jumped back into life” Andrew replied with a nod, chewing on his lower lip as he contemplated. “I never fell out of love, yknow? Maybe... maybe you didn’t either?”
“Maybe”
No, not maybe. Definitely.
“I... never tried though” Bende continued the awkward conversation. “I never wanted to move on, cuz I thought maybe I could find you again and - “
That was when Bender bit his tongue. No. He could not continue this. Andrew was married, for Christ’s sake. He seemed to forget that every time he spoke - false and desperate hope was dangerously powerful.
Silence filled the space between them, and the sounds of distant conversations became more apparent as they drowned out inner monologues, serving as white noise.
“Well, Sporto...” Bender sighed, setting down the now-empty glass, “I... take care of yourself, yeah? You’re family is probably waiting”
“Yeah...”
God, what a bitter way to end the night. But Bender knew it was the right thing. He’d either get rejected, rightfully so, or ruin Andy’s perfect life. He wasn’t one for affairs or cheating either, he cut that crap once he graduated.
“Hey” Andrew stopped him as he got up “I - it was nice to see you”
Bender paused before giving a small, amused smile. “Yeah. Don’t miss me too much, Sporto"