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Your steps seem loud over rickety bridges that connect trains and wheeze when you press on the sill coverings as you’re being hauled across the carriage.
Your name is LYNERA SKALBI and being given the choice of what ride you’d like to take to the dark carnival almost has you feeling content, until everything comes crashing down.
You yell, tug and try to grasp away from the clown that had taken hold of your arm, you call out to your so called ‘brood-mates’ with growls and clicks from your throat, the oddly pale girl looks at you in guilt and remorse.
“-let go!!!! I didn’t even-“ you cease your sentence when he tightens his grip and drags you out of your assigned space.
It’s funny really, you’ve raised a clown, you’ve had a trial with a clown as a judge and now you’re about to be killed by a clown. Surely the world should fuck with you some more and make sure that in your next life you could be born as a clown, if that realm even existed.
“Lil jade gotta b more careful when choosin’ who to trust u feel me?” No, you don’t. You try yanking your limp arm again and that only causes a pressure that starts to ache.
If you had just kept to yourself maybe this wouldn’t be happening, by all that is sane you could’ve avoided your demise if you had just been more confident in your assertion that you were not the culprit, then maybe you wouldn’t have that seething resentment towards the one person you thought you could trust.
The tears well up in your sockets and you wipe it away with your clothed arm. You groan when some of your makeup comes off and onto the sleeve of your sweater, you’re a fucking joke and everyone will probably be better off with you gone.
He opens the door to the blue-blood carriage, You choose not to notice the looks that befall you when you pass, whispers of curiosity ring in your auditory receptors so much so that you feel the need to scream. You don’t. That’ll only make things worse for you.
Just as you round up near the elevator that leads to the indigo cart, a snide but all too familiar voice pipes up and you turn to see your only example of a one-day stand staring down at you in both confusion and resignation. You lift your skirt and try to look as presentable as you can before being put to your death, to at least try to not be made fun of in your last moments.
“My, my what do we have here? Hahaha iiit seems you’ve ensnared my liiitle moth before iii had the chance, how deliiiciiiously diiiviiine.” She finishes her statement with her coy laugh and you glare at her through your lenses.
Of course, you scoff, her only enjoyment was to see you suffer like the bark-beast you were. You almost pleaded with the juggalo to just get it over with as to not deal with the outright depression you feel.
“He ye ig :o| who are you again lol?” He questions as his grips becomes soft. Ardata straightens her robe and winks with her bottom eye in a high blood-sequence way of intimidation, but considering his place in the caste system compared to her, the intent was not made.
“iii am siiimply lookiiing for a meal fiiit for my darliiing lusus.”
You’d call that thing anything other than darling.
You try not to think for a moment to get your head clear, you probably look like a feral squeak-beast with smears of makeup all over their face. You sniffle and try to appear unaffected by your predicament, her stupid fucking lusus want to eat you now?? You’re well aware of the times she’s called you delicious but you hadn’t thought she had meant it literally???
Fuck her, fuck her lusus, fuck lanque, fuck daraya and most of all FUCK BRONYA, You really feel that temporal rage building through your system, the tears sting your eyes once again and you have zero fucks crying in front of people now, You stayed loyal to someone that just threw you away like garbage and you fucking regret that more than being born.
Ardata senses your growing tense posture and holds her hand out to the clown, “iiif you were to giiive the jade to me iii promi to make sure no piiiece iiis left behiiind.”
Marvus looks at you and gives off a soft chuckle, his eyes staring directly into your soul. His ganders held something of knowledge and unavoidable coyness, you feel a pressure on your back and you’re suddenly pushed straight into the cerulean-bloods arms, you go to look at the juggalo again but the elevator door closes and you’re left with an audience of cobalts staring at you disheveled form.
A high-bloods strength is nothing to scoff at and you’re reminded of this when Ardata pulls you to her rented respite-block, she shushes you until the door closes and you take a deep breath.
“-you can’t just !!!!! Feed me to your lusus !!!!! The lusus carriage is all the way back down there as well !!!!!” You straighten your sweater and glare down her way, Ardata is the only high blood you’d give this much sass to and for good reason, the last time you were both together, you had to do all the work.
“ iii was jokiiing, iii already gave her a liiitle bronze-blood to munch on for now. Consiiider thiiis payback.” her last sentence didn’t sound as convincing as the former.
She lets out a small teasing of a laugh as she pulls up a chair and ogles you, “you look terriiible darliiing, iii would be accurate to say you looked much liiike a hoof-beast pummeled by a hydrauliiic press.”
You just stare at her, and then you start to giggle, slow and soft until it turns into full blown hysterical laughter, Ardata looks puzzled beyond belief as you hold a hand to your stomach, the laughter soon turns slower until tears start to drop to the floor and you’re left sniffling and spewing snot from your nose. You look disgusting, you feel disgusted.
The only person that would even bother to come to your rescue is a girl that simply wants your flesh and bones. The way everyone was fine with leaving you and simply continuing as if nothing happened made you angry, but even then that word didn’t describe the dull resentment.
Ardata moves from her place at the recuperacoon-side table and gently grabs your shoulders, her thumbs rubbing lightly that brings slight comfort to your nonsense sputtering and sniffing.
“Do...do you want to talk about iiit?” You shake your head on her chest, no, you’d rather not think about anything other than the moment you’re in right now, when someone actually wants to touch you or just wants to be simply in your presence.
Near her fancy room is a couch full of sequins and velvet pressed cushions. She steers your body close and sits you down as you both hear the train making light squeaks of ignition, a small wheeze is made and you begin to feel lightheaded.
“- do the mind thing, please, I don’t want to think right now“ you say breathlessly, Ardata looks at you confused until the look of understanding flashes as she rolls her eyes and her sign appears above her head, and the familiar pull of unconsciousness brings your eye-lids fluttering closed.
You can’t make out words from her but light little grazes of her thumbs rubbing across your knuckles as you lean into her has you content for the moment.
For a cerulean, her body heat is quite warm and you feel yourself slipping away.
You’re trembling.