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Cairo lets out a deep breath. The school looms ahead of her, students milling around in front of it, laughing and talking with their friends.
She automatically looks for the cheer team, knowing that Riley prefers them to hang out before school, no matter how quiet and awkward it is. She sees a flash of red hair and starts to head for it-
No.
She stops, remembering. She won’t see Riley smiling, beckoning her over. She won’t sit on the stairs with her, watching the team sit awkwardly around and listening to her best friend talk. She won’t see Chess laugh at some dumb sarcastic comment Kate muttered under her breath. She won’t see Farrah try to sneak a swig of something from a flask, hiding from Annleigh’s disapproving glare. She’ll never see any of that again, because Chess and Farrah are dead. And Riley is in prison for their murder.
Cairo falters, not knowing where to go, when her name is called. She looks over, surprised, and it turns out to be Reese who is now calling her over. She hesitantly walks in the direction, silently sending up a thanks to whoever is listening that it’s on the opposite side of campus than their normal spot. As she gets closer she realizes the rest of the team is there too, sprawled out on a staircase. It seems as if they decided to keep hanging out in the morning, even in their captain’s- former captain’s absence.
“Good morning Cairo! Come sit with us,” Reese says with a smile. Cairo decides to try to ignore the obvious pity and hesitance in the expression and just comply. She sits on the bottom of the steps and figures she’s not going to even try and pay attention to whatever the girl is going on about. Instead, she surveys the remaining members of the team.
Kate sits at the top of the stairs alone. She doesn’t seem to be listening either, staring off across campus with an empty expression. There is an obvious gap between her and the rest of the team, as if someone were sitting there, a painful reminder of a time when someone did. Annleigh is a sharp contrast, paying too much attention. She is grinning widely, though it seems to be physically hurting her, and she’s nodding as Reese speaks. Mattie seems scared, and Cairo wonders if she feels worse for the girl they wrongfully imprisoned or the girls who lost people to whom they rightfully imprisoned. Someone drops something metal across the campus, and Mattie flinches, drawing into herself with a haunted expression on her face. Eva looks unsure of what to do, standing awkwardly. She’d never gotten to know the team before the drama of that night. Cairo almost smiles. What a wonderful first impression they’d made.
The bell rings, loud and jarring, and Cairo startles. She hasn’t even noticed the time passing, too busy trying to adjust to the changes. She gets up and walks away without a second glance, not bothering to try and make conversation with any of the other girls as they all headed to class. There was only one person she wanted to talk to, and she’d never be able to again.
-----------------------
The bell signals the end of class, and Cairo drags herself to her feet. The two classes she’d had so far seemed to go by in a blur, but they also seemed to last forever. The colors and noises ran together, and for most of the classes she’d been left staring at the empty desk beside her.
She makes it to her locker, trying her best not to look at the pictures she’d had hanging up in it. She is just starting to think that maybe she’ll get through the day intact when she overhears a conversation from across the hall.
“Can you believe that we had our very own Death Of A Cheerleader right here in this town?” Cairo stiffens. She can’t believe her luck. Of all the things for the girls to be gossiping about, it has to be this?
“I just wonder what caused that girl to snap. I mean, everyone knew that team was the worst, but murder?” Riley’s comment about being “the worst team ever” plays through Cairo’s mind, and she thinks she’s going to throw up.
“She killed only the drunk and the junkie though. Oh, and that cute boy- I wonder what she was thinking,” one girl comments thoughtfully. The other girl laughs scornfully.
“She wasn’t. She’s, like, insane. Didn’t you hear? She had a whole breakdown-” and that’s all Cairo can stand before she’s pushing through the crowd towards the bathroom.
She manages to make it to a stall before she throws up. It’s the little things, she thinks cynically, slumping to the floor and leaning against the wall. She realizes she’s crying with some surprise as the tears roll off her face. She wonders for a second if the splotches the tears are leaving on her jeans match the splotches the blood would’ve made and has to stop as she feels bile rising in her throat again. The door opens and for a second the loudness of the hallway is all she can hear before the door swings back shut and the silence returns. The girl who entered shuffles on her feet awkwardly and Cairo waits for her to go into a stall so she can leave without having to interact. Instead, the girl speaks.
“Cairo?” With a jolt of surprise, Cairo recognizes the voice as Kate’s. Despite Cairo’s lack of response, she continues hesitantly anyway. “Cairo, I know you’re in here.”
Cairo briefly considers pretending she’s not there before realizing she’s visible from underneath the stall. She sniffs, wipes her face, and stands up, unlocking the door.
Kate takes one look at her and makes a move as if to hug her, but clearly thinks better of it. “The bathroom isn’t really a good place to sit. Germs on the floor.”
Cairo looks at her. “Yeah, I guess.” “So let’s go outside.” Cairo thinks she must have lost her mind.
“We have class,” she points out. “We can’t skip.”
“Sure we can,” Kate says, shrugging. “Come on, follow me.” Well, why not, she figures.
Cairo doesn’t really remember how they got outside. The bell must have rung, because the halls are empty, but she can’t recall hearing it. All she knows is that Kate dragged her through the building and now they’re sitting in a hidden spot in the courtyard, a place known among the students as a good place to skip class, seeing as none of the teachers know of its existence. Surprisingly, there are no other people in sight.
“Why are we out here?” Cairo says, breaking the silence.
Kate sighs, still not looking at her. “Like I said, the bathroom is dirty. Not a great place to sit. No one will bother us here either.”
“Yeah, but why do you care?” It isn’t a secret that Kate and Cairo have never really liked each other. Riley used to complain after practices that half Cairo’s attention was always on the other girl, not on the routines. Something about the other girl just rubbed her the wrong way, though.
Kate finally faced her. “Because I wasn’t going to leave you sobbing your eyes out on a dirty bathroom floor.” Cairo scowls, opens her mouth to say something about the fact that she was not sobbing her eyes out, and closes it as she realizes that she kind of was. Kate raises an eyebrow at her, and her scowl deepens. “I would’ve left you.”
“I know,” Kate says simply. “And I almost left you. But… I know what it’s like to lose your best friend. And it sucks. It really, really sucks. And sometimes you end up crying in a bathroom stall. And the one person who would’ve noticed you were gone and come to find you and comfort you is the one you’re missing most of all. So I wasn’t going to leave you there alone, not when she already did.”
Cairo’s crying again. She hates crying, especially in front of Kate of all people, but she can’t help it. “You’re not supposed to be this nice.” Kate looks confused again, and she opens her mouth to say something, but Cairo cuts her off. “You’re supposed to hate me. You do hate me. And we’ve hated each other for years. I bullied you for no reason, I mocked you when Chess… when Chess died, and here you are, comforting me. And over Riley! She killed Chess! My best friend killed your best friend, and you’re comforting me for missing her.”
She finally looks at Kate, ready for Kate to realize she’s right and yell at her before leaving, but instead Kate’s crying. “Yeah, your best friend sucks,” she admits, and Cairo lets out a surprised little choked half-laugh, and then they’re both crying harder and somehow laughing through it. Once she’s calmed down, Kate continues, “Just because we don’t often get along doesn’t mean that I’m just going to leave you crying in the bathroom alone. And I don’t think you would’ve left me either, not when it actually comes down to it. And,” she turns to Cairo, her eyes fierce and watery, “you can’t blame yourself for what Riley did. That’s not anywhere near your fault. No one could’ve seen it coming, not even you.”
“Thanks,” Cairo says, her voice coming out as a whisper. Kate offers her a gentle smile before facing forward again. They sit quietly for a while. It feels… surprisingly nice. Cairo hadn’t realized how much she needed to vent, and now that she has, it feels like a little bit of the weight she’s been carrying has been lifted. She’s not sure how much she believes Kate, but just hearing what the other girl had said has helped her come a little closer to accepting it.
“The bell’s going to ring soon,” Kate said after some time. “We should head back in a few minutes.” Cairo nods.
“How’s Annleigh holding up?” Cairo asks, thinking of the other girl who’d lost people that night.
“She’s- well, she’s not fine. But she’s getting there. We Skype pretty often, usually in the middle of the night, and we talk about them. Do you want to join the calls?” Kate offers.
Cairo shakes her head. “No. No, I’m alright. But…” she hesitates. At Kate’s encouraging nod, she continues, “Can we do this again sometimes? It helped to talk.”
“Yeah, we can. Just let me know when, alright?” Kate passed her phone over. “Put your number in and just shoot me a text.”
“I already have your number, remember? Team captain and all that,” Cairo reminds her, handing the phone back.
“Oh yeah! You’re the new team captain. I’d forgotten about that. How are you holding up with it?” Kate asks.
“I’m worried about it. I’m not really a people person, that was always her job. I don’t think I’ll be anywhere near as good,” Cairo admits. It’s funny, she thinks. Before today she never would’ve told Kate of all people this. But there’s something about crying your eyes out with a person over your dead or imprisoned best friends that really lets you open up easily.
“Hey, the bar’s pretty low on this one. Just don’t murder and you’ll already be doing better than she ever was,” Kate points out with a wry smile on her face. Cairo chuckles a bit and looks down. “Yeah, I guess.”
“You’ll do fine. Trust me.” Before Cairo has a chance to dispute this, Kate is checking her watch and standing up, offering a hand up to Cairo. “The bell is about to ring. Come on, let’s head in.”
Cairo takes the hand offered to her and stands up as well. “Thanks again for this.”
Kate smiles at her. “Much better than a dirty bathroom stall, isn’t it?”
Cairo laughs and smiles back. “Very much so, yes.”
The bell rings, and the halls fill with students as they sneak back in. Cairo waves to Kate and heads to her next class. The seat next to her doesn’t feel quite so empty, and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she’ll be alright.