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One day Ichiro’s hot little brother Saburo sexily walked up to him in their living room. Saburo was looking fine in his perfect replica of Shinji Ikari’s Evangelion plug suit. “Ichi-nii, make me cry,” he said saucily, jiggling his perfect 14-year-old ass, which actually did not jiggle because the latex suit was too tight. But to Ichiro, his littlest brother’s spanx-wrapped ass was like Laputa. And Ichiro’s castle was in the sky, if you know what I mean.
“Saburo, how do you know exactly what I like?” Ichiro said, getting a nosebleed like in those harem animes.
“Duh. I looked up all your kinks on Fandom Secrets,” Saburo said.
Ichiro said, “Then be the Shinji to my Kaworu and pop my head off!”
It was then that Jiro entered the room. “Gasp!” he said. He dropped his guitar and soccer ball, which were his only character traits, and also his clothes exploded to reveal his naked body which was on the wrong side of “barely legal.”
“I can’t believe you want Saburo to be your Shinj!” Jiro whined.
“Well no one would ever want you to be their Shinji,” said Saburo. “You are like, so ugly. And I bet your asshole smells like bad dog breath.”
Ichiro threw his arms around both of his brothers. “You are both perfect in my eyes—which are heterochromatic and you have to agree that that is very cool and unique. I can’t choose just one of you. So I will have sex with you both.” Ichiro unzipped his pants and his erect, pulsing “beam saber” popped out.
“Wow, I bet Ichi-nii’s goes three times faster!” Jiro said.
“Three times faster than what?” Saburo sneered with derision at Jiro’s dangling participle, but only because Saburo did not know the joy of Gundam, or the joy of dangling participles, yet. “Anyway, you’re so dumb you can’t even add 1+1, so you’ll never get to three.”
But their argument died quicker than a character in Attack on Titan. They took their competition to the Koshien of dicks—their big brother Ichiro’s sword fact—to prove superiority.
Jiro went first. He polished Ichiro’s mic like a champ.
“Wow,” said Saburo. “You’re polishing his actual hypnosis mic. Didn’t you know that was a metaphor? It’s my turn.”
Saburo kneeled in front of his big brother. “Ichi-nii, I’ll suck off your pipe organ so good you’ll see New Stars. I’m a prodigy who’s perfected the theory of fellatio. Now let me show you my cruel angel’s thesis.”
So then Saburo wrapped his skinny little pouty little baby lips around Ichiro’s dick. By the time he was done sucking off his big brother, let’s just say that Ichiro’s Sword Art was truly Online.
“Jiro, Saburo,” Ichiro said with admiration. “I want more.”
The younger brothers stuffed their faces with Ichiro’s cock like two No-Faces at a buffet. When it came to eating Ichiro’s sausage, they could swallow more meat in one go than even Loofy from One Piece. It didn’t take long before Ichiro released endless free gacha rolls into his brothers’ mouths.
No sooner had Saburo and Jiro happily guzzled down Ichiro’s creamy dick juice than Ichiro turned around and presented his ass.
“I want more. Jiro, Saburo, I want you to break my walls tonight!”
Saburo nodded vigorously. Meanwhile Jiro literally punched a hole in the wall because he was so stupid.
But, right as Saburo was about to mess with his brother’s colon as jauntily as the semicolon in a Steins;Gate title, they were all hit by a truck and transported to a fantasy world.
“We got isekai’d?” Jiro said. “Damn, this is the best underage incest sex ever!”
“No, it’s not good,” Ichiro said. He pointed at his weeping asshole and Saburo’s mushroom cap, which had both turned into mosaics. Ichiro got to his feet. He had a serious look on his face, like he was going to fuck some shit up.
“This is the worst possible timeline. No, it’s not 2020.” He explained like an exposition character in a sports anime. “We’re trapped in a world of Western fandom expectations for Japanese media. Look at that rainbow in the sky. It’s NOT from King of Prism. That is the rainbow of strictly-defined LGBT representation. It’s an illusion caused by negatives particles in the air called ‘antis.’ Our fun is over.”
“What can we do, Ichi-nii?” Saburo said.
Ichiro turned to his brothers. He was still max serious like the main character he was supposed to be. “Jiro. Saburo. Can I count on you?”
After the younger, underage brothers shouted an emphatic yes, Ichiro raised his mic and initiated a transformation sequence. This took up the next 3 minutes of running time. After their transformation into loveable magical boys, they shouted their new taglines:
“I am Ichiro Yamada! In the name of Ikebukuro, I shall punish you! And then I’ll punish Samatoki for letting me fuck his bitch ass in the Dirty Dawg days because that was grooming!”
“I’m Jiro! I like playing with balls…and uh…sex is weird and gross until you’re exactly 18?”
“Boring! I’m Saburo! I’m 14 and I like games, especially Dramatical Murder… Oh, c’mon, aren’t I even allowed to mention something with sexual content? No? Really?!”
Then, the three brothers shot up into the sky and into the rainbow. They embraced all its colors. But…..dundundun….
“It’s not working!” said Jiro.
“I can’t constrain myself to this narrow definition…!” said Saburo.
“I was wrong,” Ichiro said, even though his brothers protested that their perfect, amazing, fantastic Ichiro could never be wrong.
“No, listen, I was wrong. We can’t reduce ourselves to fit in a narrow definition of acceptability.” He stripped away all his clothes, jacked off each of his brothers’ dicks and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Fight the Patriarchy!”
After the rainbow was splooged with underage semen, it transformed to reveal its true form—a swirling mass of fear driven by closed-mindedness and all the colors of sexism.
“It’s so overwhelming…” Jiro and Saburo said as they choked on the noxious clouds of intolerance.
“Saburo, Jiro,” Ichro said with tears in his heterochromatic eyes. “I love you in complex ways that run the full spectrum from pure brotherly love to incestuous teenage hormone-addled lust.”
“We do too!” Saburo and Jiro said.
And then, their moment of complexity was crushed by the twisted rainbow of the antis and the Buster Bros were flattened from 2 dimensions down to 1, their sexual escapades lost forever.