Chapter Text
The soft lights helped to shelter him, placing him in the shadows, nursing a Southern Comfort, not his usual but it seemed appropriate… The week, no, the months, had become too much, he felt raw, wired, at a breaking point now… He needed the comfort, the anonymity of this place…
Tony had driven nearly 2 hours and ended up in St Michaels and he couldn’t remember how he got here. This impressed on him how bad things were, he loved long drives in his Mustang to de-stress and he didn’t get to even enjoy it…
The head slaps, the put downs, the assumptions about the weakness of his character… And that was just from the Boss… He had pushed these to the side for a long time now, he hadn’t really thought he deserved any better anyway...
It was thoughts of his personal safety that he kept being forced to consider now… Ordered into a body bag, then exposed by his own partner, so that he was thrown out onto the busy beltway... A new teammate that was under the impression that he was her equal, not her superior. And why would she or Tim know any different? As far as they knew, they only had to obey Gibbs… Then there was today… Yet another time in his life that he felt alone and unwanted, no one had his back... When was this sort of shit ever going to end?
For as long as he could remember he had never felt completely safe, at home, at boarding or military school, college and even as a Cop… Well especially as a Cop it turned out, bizarrely the times he was the most accepted had been when he was undercover playing somebody else… Wasn’t that thought provoking, he may fit in better in the criminal world than anywhere else…
Tony shook his head and grimaced, thanks to his Father’s parenting skills he could play a crime boss more believably, than an officer of the law seeking justice for those that couldn’t for themselves… Perhaps it was time to reinvent the wheel so to say… Surely there must be a way he could serve… He didn’t want to keep doing undercover though either, he was 25, so he would do it for as long as he could, perhaps 10-15 years maybe? But then what? Could he find a place indulging in his first love, investigating and puzzle solving?
Tony huffed and downed his drink. What was he even thinking? He’d probably be dead in 5 years at this rate. He had thought he could trust Gibbs; he had thought he might finally have someone he could depend on, and for a while he did. They had worked well together when it was just the two of them, Tony thought Gibbs had respected him. This time however he had been sent out alone because Gibbs thought that Tony couldn’t be professional around Kate...
Tony had been training Kate from the moment he met her, teaching her about the difference between sketching and photos. That was crucial stuff to know before she presented a case in court... But all she and Gibbs saw were him being a sleaze because the nearest magazine had a bikini clad woman on the front... It was on the President’s plane! Kate’s workplace! He didn’t choose to make her feel uncomfortable on purpose... But from that moment she wouldn’t see him any other way and this oddly seemed to have influenced Gibbs against him as well...
Tony wiped his eyes tiredly, he needed sleep, he shouldn’t be making decisions under stress, he also knew that he would not be able to sleep, but nor should he try and drive back home… He looked around to ask someone, there must be a hotel nearby, he could try to crash somewhere here first… It would be wiser… He stood up to go, turned and walked into one of the bar staff carrying a tray of drinks… They both ended up crashing to the floor and he was saturated… Ugh…Well wasn’t this an improvement on his day…
Sliding around trying to get up, he reached out for the booth he had been sitting at and a large strong hand grabbed his arm instead. Startled he looked into smoky blue eyes smiling down at him and saw dimples hiding behind the full beard. “You need a hand?” Said an amused soft, deep voice; attached to a stocky, very fit, Military man, if Tony were to guess…
“Yeah, ah thanks…” Tony stuttered a little, surrounded by broken glass and a barman that was up and apologising profusely leaning forwards to help as well. When he was standing finally, he was a bit flustered and looking around, he was now the centre of unwanted attention, his mind freezing in lassitude, he ignored everyone and fled out the door to escape.
Walking quickly and a little unsteadily he headed towards the Marina, not for any particular purpose but well it had been a long time since he felt this shaken and unsure of himself and wanted to be alone, so he headed for the quiet of the water. He came to rest at a boat yard and leaned his head on the framework of a boatlift, feeling dizzy and tired again he began to wonder if something were wrong with him… Absently speculating if he went missing how long it would be before anybody noticed…
He heard running feet behind him and reached for his sidearm, only to have it taken from his weakened hands and with his vision greying out he was gently lowered to the ground, well! What a fitting ending... He was going to die getting mugged…
“Come on kid don’t pass out on me now okay, wake up! Shit you’ve got blood everywhere…” The deep voice was not amused anymore Tony thought as he slid towards blackness…
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Tony came to, panicked and fighting the hands that were holding him down, “No please no, let go!” He gasped, his eyes flying open in shock when he felt a long wet rough tongue lick up the side of his head… What the heck?
Looking around wildly he saw two men leaning over him, he was on a bed, hands trapped, and a dog was licking his face, “Argh!”
“Shush, it’s okay we’ve got you…” Soothed the man with smoky eyes.
“Please no…” He begged, horrified thoughts flashing through his panicked brain, made worse when the man raised two bloodied hands and griped the side of his face. His eyes swam out of focus and he was horrified to realise there were tears filling his eyes, “Please no, no don’t do this, I’m a Federal Agent” He cried out pleadingly, he couldn’t believe he was going to die like this and he was gasping so hard that his world was greying out again.
“Shit!” Came the deep voice again, “We gotta stop this, if he keeps fighting us, you’re going to have to restrain him.”
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Sitting up with a gasp Tony felt the hand steadying him, “Settle... You’re okay now, take deep, slooow breaths.” The man was sitting next to him on the edge of the bed, a restraining hand resting lightly on his shoulder, “Hi Agent... I’m Trent.”
Taking in his surroundings at a glance, Tony worriedly asked, “Where am I? Am I on a boat? Why have you taken me?” Pushing at the man, who all at once Tony realised, was bigger and more solid than Tony and with his hands bound in bandages, “What have you done?” He whispered dazedly, feeling dizzy again.
Trent gently lay him back against the pillows, “Before you pass out, let me explain, you fell at the restaurant, cut yourself badly then ran off, bleeding, down the street, we found you as you passed out and my medical supplies were on board, so we brought you here...”
“So, I’m not being mugged?” Tony asked weakly as he eyed him carefully.
The dimples made a reappearance as the man grinned and shook his head, “No you are not being mugged or murdered or whatever you thought was going on, you are perfectly safe here with us and you are free to leave whenever I think you are well enough...” Trent leaned over to an open pack on the bedside cupboard, grabbing a stethoscope, holding it up to indicate his intentions he continued, “You have lost a fair amount of blood, enough that if I knew your blood type I would be running a bag now and not just the Hartmann's.” He waved at the IV that was hanging up.
He became serious while taking Tony’s BP, “You are also under weight, blood sugar is too low and you are dehydrated, when is the last time you had a decent meal and rest?”
Tony shrugged and sank into the pillows tiredly, absently wondering why he wasn’t fighting this stranger, he really felt like he just didn’t care anymore, sad that someone else seemed to care about him more than he even did...
He held up his mitted hands and bemusedly thought he should be more upset how Gibbs would be, pissed he couldn’t fire a gun like this... He felt tired again, he knew Trent was talking to him again but shut everything out. Last thing he remembered before falling asleep was another man coming in and saying, “We should call the Cops... Report this...”
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Tony woke to the gentle swell of a boat and the sounds of Seagulls crying out nearby, he moved to look around and groaned at feeling stiff and sore, moving to rub his eyes he gasped and remembered painfully his injured hands.
He jumped in fright at the Malinois lying next to him on the bed, eyeing him curiously, the dog leaned forwards to sniff at him and sat back, tongue lolling with a satisfied look on his face, tail slowly thumping on the bed.
“Hey there buddy what’s your name?” Tony reached out to gently stroke the dog but thought better of it when the bandage pulled painfully.
“Cerberus...”
Tony spun around at the soft voice at the door, “What?” He tried to sit up quickly but gasped at the pain, this was worse than a papercut!
The man stepped forwards to help him sit up, “His name is Cerberus, he is a service dog and was keeping an eye on you for me, my name is Brock, how are you feeling?”
Tony eyed the man warily, he was lean but wiry, with a mop of dark wavy hair and short but messy beard. Serious blue green eyes looked over him carefully, and while he was checking the IV Tony was quietly watching him, judging him to be a little younger than Trent, probably about 5 years older than he was.
Brock finished his checks and leaned back on his heels and contemplated his patient, “You don’t say very, much do you?” he asked quietly.
Tony shrugged and looked down at his hands. He spent days on end trying to keep up the spirits of everyone on the team, anticipating the team’s needs when they were stressed and tired and using humour and chatter to buoy them along... Now… Well now he had simply run out… Of words, of caring…
“You in pain?” Brock asked. Tony shrugged again and just kept looking at his hands... Again, he wondered why he wasn’t more guarded in this situation, normally he would have tried to escape any kind of nursing by now...
He heard the man sigh and leave the room and was a little disappointed when his new companion jumped off the bed and followed him, he huffed, he wasn’t exactly a fun guy to be around at the moment...
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Trent followed Brock into the tiny cabin they had placed Tony, “Good morning Agent, how are you feeling? Up to having something to eat?” Trent took some things out of his pack and started an exam, noting his temp, BP, respirations etc.
Tony watched him placidly and in silence, when Trent made eye contact, he shook his head firmly. How was he supposed to eat and drink without hands? Plus, the more he consumed, the more he would need to go to the bathroom and again how was he supposed to do that?
Trent looked down at him and sighed, “Can we at least have your name? We can’t keep calling you Agent...”
“Tony” He croaked, he cleared his throat and tried again, “Tony DiNozzo, NCIS which is...”
Trent held up his hand, “We know what NCIS is...” Glancing meaningfully at Brock, who just shrugged. “Thank you, Tony, now is there someone we can contact for you? Someone must be missing you by now?” Trent asked.
Tony didn’t answer, he was trying to figure out that odd look the two men just shared, were they not as harmless as they were trying to appear? If they knew who NCIS was then Tony’s first guess at Trent being military might be correct... So why would that make them uncomfortable, wary?
Tony suddenly realised how vulnerable he was... He hands were useless and now he belatedly realised he had been undressed and put in Pyjamas... So, they had his sidearm, backup ankle piece and the knife hidden in his belt...
Looking around he asked warily, “Where are my clothes?”
“Ah yes, well they were covered in blood, so they are being washed, the rest is over there” Trent pointed at the belt and shoes in a box near the door, “Obviously we have secured your weapons in the gun safe, that knife hidden in the belt is clever.” Trent smiled in approval.
“Can I have them back?” Tony asked cautiously.
Trent nodded, “Sure, when I think you are okay on your own… Right now though Tony, you must have lost your ID and phone somewhere, so unless you give us a number of someone to call for you that will look after you...” Trent tilted his head at him in question, Tony slowly shook his head. “Then I can’t in good conscience leave you vulnerable…” Trent said firmly, clear he wasn’t going to argue about it… It reminded Tony of a time when someone he thought was a friend used to give a shit…
“Are you a Marine?” He asked tentatively.
Earning himself a huff of laughter from the both of them, Brock shook his head and while they didn’t answer his unasked question, Brock smiled at him and Tony thought bemusedly that’s what they mean by kind eyes…
“Now food, I think you should have something to eat, so other than the Scotch last night, what have you consumed in the last 24hrs?” Trent prompted.
Tony looked down at his hands again and thought, it was longer than 24 hrs, he had been kidnapped and trapped down in the sewers for longer than that, brought back to the office, he was lucky to get a bottle of water in the car from Kate, because Gibbs didn’t bother to see what he needed, but saw fit to humiliate him once again in front of everyone in the Bullpen… Irreplaceable indeed… Tony was horrified to feel tears running down his face! “Fuck!” He whispered rubbing the backs of his bandaged hands over his eyes. When had he turned into a cry baby?
“Okay, listen kid I think I will help you with some food then clean you up a bit, then if you are feeling up to it come and join us on the deck, we have a lounge up there that is comfortable enough that you can doze off for a bit and get some fresh air at the same time…” Trent stated firmly, then his voice gentled, “Tony I don’t know what’s been going on… You don’t have to talk about it but we are good listeners okay, even Cerb…” Cerberus gave a sharp yip at his name and Tony gave him a watery smile, “Let us take care of you for a while, it really looks like you need it kiddo…” Trent gently raised his chin with a finger so that Tony could see he was genuine and after a moment Tony nodded.
Brock watching them stepped up, “Listen Trent I’ll go make some eggs or something, you help him in the bathroom, he still looks exhausted so the sooner we get him comfortable upstairs the better.” He suggested.
Trent nodded, “That sound okay Tony? Brock makes great scrambled eggs; it will be gentle for your stomach and easy to eat?”
Tony nodded and Brock left, he then held up his hands, “Can you take this off so I can eat and go to the bathroom?”
Trent shook his head, “Not yet, I don’t want the stitches I put in last night to move and you need to keep it dry okay? Now I know that means I will have to help you in the bathroom etc but I have medic training that is equivalent to a high care Nurse, so I know what I am doing, and you are 100% safe here okay?” Trent reassured him.
Tony heaved out a heavy breath then muttered, “I don’t think I have ever been 100% safe…” But he instinctively seemed to trust the man so he nodded and gave in to the inevitable…
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Tony was exhausted again when he made it unsteadily up on the upper deck, but it was bliss to sink down into the lounge and soak up the warm sun, he closed his eyes and reflected on why he was so tired. Trent had been professionally discreet in the bathroom, helped him shower and dressed him in some of Brock’s sweatpants and t-shirt, he was closer in size to Tony and it was comfortable.
“Hey food before sleep…” Tony blinked his eyes and peered up at Brock holding a tray, he smiled and sat nearby, laying the tray so he would have access, picking up a glass Brock asked, “Apple Juice okay?” Tony nodded and Brock held it so he could drink, then proceeded to feed Tony the delicious egg and chives with toast, Tony flushed at first, he felt like a child but Brock spoke softly, pointing out landmarks and sights nearby and gradually Tony relaxed and felt a bit more comfortable… After eating all he could, Tony was tucked in with a blanket and left to relax for a while, in no time he was asleep…