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Evil Abed gazed up at what remained of their apartment. The whole building was nothing more than a burned-out wreck, blackened and collapsed, like what remained of their once-solid study group. It was a loss – they hadn't lived there since the fire – but it was certainly the epicenter of the parallel timelines, and thus, per the rules of all the science fiction he'd ever seen, represented a weak point between the dimensions. This was where they'd break through.
Evil Troy stepped forward to stand beside him. "This is the place," he squeaked. "We'll take back our lives."
Evil Abed nodded. He thought about the Trek Mirrorverse, the bearded Bond villains, the goateed Sergeant on Inspector Spacetime – he thought about what they had in common. "Evil Troy," he began. He wasn't sure what he was going to say next, but he could see the general shape of it.
"Yes, Evil Abed?" Evil Troy replied.
"Now that we're evil, genre conventions demand that we be more sexually adventurous, thus appearing more dangerous and threatening to the average viewer." It wasn't quite what he meant, but maybe Evil Troy would understand anyway.
Evil Troy shrugged. "Okay," he said. Evil Abed turned to him. They've never done this together; they couldn't. They've never been evil before. Abed always wanted to be like this, scifi villain evil, kinky Russian spy evil, but he never had the chance. It was never allowed. He grabbed Evil Troy around the waist – not gentle or sweet or shy, not like Good Abed might have done it eventually, given enough time – and kissed him forcefully.
Their felt goatees rubbed plushily together.
Troy's mouth was wet, hot. He tasted like everything that used to be forbidden.
When they parted, Evil Troy was panting, and his eyes were full of anger and vengeance and something else, something that reminded Evil Abed of the old days, before their Origins.
"We'll find a way," Evil Troy repeated. "Until then, we have each other."
Evil Abed reached out, took Evil Troy's hand. Together, they walked forward into the charred remains of their burnt-out world.