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“Do you almost have it?”
“Do not rush me.”
“Oh my sincerest apologies, Lan Wangji. ” Jiang Cheng bit out with a strained voice. “ Please, take your time. Don’t mind me.”
“Mn.” Lan Wangji said, and then he shifted his weight in a way that made Jiang Cheng cry out.
“That hurts you prick!” Jiang Cheng called up at him. He didn’t know if his shoulders were going to survive with so much weight being forced upon them.
“ My apologies .” Lan Wangji replied, sounding just about as sincere Jiang Cheng had, and then he went back to searching for Jiang Cheng’s bell on the roof whilst standing upon the other’s shoulders.
He’d been searching for a while now, and Jiang Cheng felt his knees buckling under the weight, but Lan Wangji seemed as unbothered as ever.
“I still cannot find it.” Lan Wangji repeated for the umpteenth time that morning, but Jiang Cheng just snapped at him to keep looking. The bell-crafter would have his head if he admitted to her that he’d lost the sacred Jiang bell all because he’d-
“It’s your fault you lost it.” Lan Wangji muttered, bitterly, though he continued scanning the roof. “You shouldn’t have thrown at it me-”
“You don’t think I know that?” Jiang Cheng hissed. “Now shut up before I drop you.”
“I’m surprised you’ve kept me upright for this long.” He commented, conversationally. He briefly glanced down, amused at how red his brother-in-law’s face had become from the prolonged exertion. Keeping a neutral expression on his face, he discreetly shifted his weight again so that this time his heel was digging into the side of Jiang Cheng’s neck.
The other’s cries of outrage were worth it.
Lan Wangji cackled on the inside while remaining impossibly stoic on the outside.
“You’re such an asshole!-” Jiang Cheng screamed at the same time Lan Wangji calmly announced, “I found it.”
Lan Wangji grabbed the bell from the roof and hopped off of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders opting not to throw it at his brother-in-law, lest he make the other’s same mistake.
Jiang Cheng snatched it with a sigh of relief, cradling it in his arms. “I missed you so much.” He whispered, kissing it with a fondness he usually reserved for Lan Xichen.
Lan Wangji squinted at him, wondering why everyone thought that he was the weird one when people like Jiang Cheng existed. Was it because he was quiet? At least he didn’t whisper sweet nothings to inanimate objects-
“Hanguang-jun. Sect Leader Jiang.” A disciple appeared before them, and judging by the calm expression on her face, she must not have witnessed the honorable Hanguang-jun, mounted on his shoulders a few moments earlier.
Or maybe she had, but she was just used to it. Actually, now that Lan Wangji thought about it, he did somehow frequently end up being carried by Jiang Cheng... But he couldn’t be blamed for the first time it happened, he was drunk -
Jiang Cheng quickly tucked his precious bell away and they both nodded to her in greeting. She had a grave expression on her face and when she opened her mouth to speak, they fully expected to hear terrible news-
“I regret to inform you that Sect Leader Yao has passed.”
Jiang Cheng stumbled over his own feet, and Lan Wangji wordlessly steadied him, staring at the disciple in shock.
“...What did you just say?” Jiang Cheng asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Sect Leader Yao has passed. I was sent here to convey the message, but the elders should have more information pertaining to the funeral and all other processions. If you’ll excuse this disciple.” She said, bowing and leaving, as she saw another elder calling her away.
It was silent for a few moments.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji looked at each other, and then a tear slipped out of Jiang Cheng’s eye.
It was a tear of pure joy.
“YES! YES! ” Jiang Cheng cried, and then he pumped his fists up and down, jumping and chanting “Thank you! Thank you!” to the sky, hoping to reach the gods above.
Lan Wangji was smiling. Truly smiling. The happiness he felt at that moment was almost unparalleled. He let out a soft sigh of joy, wondering how they could’ve ever gotten this lucky.
And then Jiang Cheng pulled him into a fierce celebratory hug that Lan Wangji found himself returning with much enthusiasm.
“He’s dead! He’s really dead!”
“Mn.” Lan Wangji squeezed his shoulder. “It’s a miracle.”
Some of the disciples who had been let out of their classes began to mill through the previously empty path, stopping to gape at Sect Leader Jiang and Hanguang-jun who looked as happy-if not even happier- as they had been on their wedding days.
When they hugged, one of the disciples choked.
It was Lan Jingyi.
“Let’s go tell everyone else the good news.” Lan Wangji said, his usually monotone voice, practically overflowing with joy. Jiang Cheng nodded vigorously and together the two practically glided through Cloud Recesses in search of Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen, all the while, planning a celebratory dinner for the joyous occasion.
~
There was a somber melody floating through the air, beautiful and melancholy harmonies filling everyone’s ears.
Everyone, Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji included were dressed in white, standing around the coffin as the processions took place. The coffin was large and lavish, with literal gold decorating all around it. Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen were there as well, each standing next to their respective husband, holding white lilies in their hands. Nie Huaisang had brought out a white fan for the occasion. The juniors were there as well, and four of them stood in front of the adults.
Jiang Cheng didn’t miss the way Jin Ling’s hands discreetly interlocked with the Ouyang boy’s. He gave props to his nephew, however, for attempting subtlety.
Both Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji were wearing red bands on their forearms, hidden by the white robes because this was a celebration for them.
They’d fought in multiple wars, yet keeping a straight face as the processions went on was the hardest thing either of them had done.
While one of the Yao disciples was giving a speech about how “kind” and “benevolent” Sect Leader Yao was, Sect Leader Boh had pulled out a handkerchief to wipe at his eyes and Jiang Cheng had to jam his fist against mouth, but he couldn’t stop his shoulders from shaking as he desperately tried to stifle his laughter.
“Sect Leader Jiang, stop laughing.” Lan Wangji muttered, but his voice was pitched slightly higher in the end, and Jiang Cheng could see the other’s jaw working to suppress a grin, and that only made things even harder.
“I’m not laughing.” Jiang Cheng hissed back. “ You’re laughing.”
And Lan Wangji was about to retort when they both heard “... the most respectable man I’ve ever known-” and then they both had to snap their mouth shut and take deep breaths to avoid losing it.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes were twinkling as he glanced at the two. He and Lan Xichen shared a knowing look, the same fond but exasperated expression that signaled that the two would have much to chat about during their next “tea date”.
And then Sect Leader Boh declared that he wanted to say a few words himself.
He cleared his throat and then blew his nose into the handkerchief, flinging it and hitting some poor disciple in the face. His eyes were red, and Jiang Cheng supposed that he would also be absolutely devastated if the reason he could so blatantly practice tax evasion died as well.
“How much does he owe you?” Lan Wangji muttered, taking note of Jiang Cheng’s sour glare.
“A medium-sized fortune.” He hissed back, and then they both turned back to Sect Leader Boh who was furiously wiping at his eyes again. He hadn’t spoken the entire time, and everyone was just watching him with blank stares.
He cleared his throat again.
“Sect Leader Yao was a great man-”
Lan Wangji snorted out loud.
All heads turned to him, horrified, and Jiang Cheng wheezed, tears coming to his eyes as he laughed at everyone else’s expressions. He could hardly care about his reputation at that moment.
Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling looked mortified, but they too were struggling to hold in their laughter. Ouyang Zizhen had to furiously bite his lip and avoid his father’s watchful gaze. Lan Jingyi was struggling the most.
Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang were covering their mouths with the back of a sleeve and fan, respectively. Lan Xichen was sighing, but his eyes were twinkling.
“My apologies for my husband and my brother.” Lan Xichen explained to the crowd in a neutral voice. “They are still processing this terrible loss. They were exposed to a potion that causes them to express the opposite of what they feel.”
“Heh. Foreshadowing.” Lan Jingyi mumbled to himself.
“What?” Jin Ling hissed.
“The next story will-”
“What story-?”
“...Nevermind…”
The crowd seemed to take Lan Xichen’s bullshit as the truth, but only because it was coming from Zewu-jun. If Wei Wuxian had opened his mouth and tried to pull the same stunt, then that would’ve been a scandal waiting to happen.
Sect Leader Boh continued his speech, pausing for dramatic effect or to fan his eyes every few seconds until finally, it was over. Sect Leader Yao’s coffin remained above ground and he was to be buried the next evening.
The cultivators began dispersing, most heading back to their own Sects or visiting the rest of the Yao Sect. The coffin was left unattended as the Yao disciples had many other tasks to do and because the coffin was charmed so that no one could vandalize it or try to steal from the gifts left inside with Sect Leader Yao’s body.
Lan Xichen was dragged off by a few other Sect Leaders who used the funeral as an ample time for diplomacy. Wei Wuxian went off to terrorize the juniors, as per usual, and find any spare liquor, but not before teasing them for their outburst.
“Lan Zhan, A-Cheng, this means that you two can’t ever call me the shameless one ever again!” He cackled, twirling his flute as he walked away.
Nie Huaisang stayed behind, looking at the coffin, enthralled by its beauty. Sitting down, he pulled out a sketchbook, a brush, and a bottle of ink from his robes-
“What the hell?” Jiang Cheng mumbled. “Does he carry that everywhere?”
Lan Wangji shrugged.
And then Nie Huaisang began quickly sketching the coffin, finishing his brilliant piece of artwork in under a minute.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji crept behind him, peering down at the painting. It was extremely accurate, even if it was purely ink-based. The two glanced at each other, eyes glinting, as they nonverbally came up with an idea.
“Huaisang.”
“Sect Leader Nie.”
Nie Huaisang flinched, almost spilling his ink, but Lan Wangji’s quick reflexes prevented the spill, and he politely handed it back to him.
“Oh! It’s just you too.” Nie Huaisang grinned. “Has the spell worn off yet?”
“No. Can’t you tell?” Jiang Cheng smiled. “We’re devastated.”
“Mn.”
Nie Huaisang laughed softly and then, “What can I do for the esteemed Sect Leader Jiang and the honorable Hanguang-jun?”
The mischievous glint in their eyes increased tenfold.
“Well, Huaisang, we’re glad you asked.”
“Mn. You’re a talented artist.”
“How good are you at painting people?”
Nie Huaisang looked delighted.
~
Jiang Cheng was grinning and pointing to the coffin behind him while Lan Wangji held two “thumbs-up”. Nie Huaisang quickly painted the two and then ripped the page out of his sketchbook to dry with the others scattered across the ground.
In one of the paintings, both Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji were leaning against the coffin, pure joy radiating from both of them.
In another, Jiang Cheng was standing on top of the coffin while Lan Wangji was sitting, with his arms stretched out, on his shoulders- Lan Wangji’s epiphany from earlier resurfaced. Just why did he always find himself being carried by his brother-in-law?
In another, they were doing a high-five while sitting on the edge of the coffin.
“Next?” Nie Huaisang asked, thoroughly entertained by their antics. They nodded, and for the next half an hour, they continued to strike a series of poses involving Sect Leader Yao’ coffin in any way they could. The poses got increasingly more ridiculous as time went on and Nie Huaisang had to steady his hands a couple of times so he wouldn’t mess up the painting from cackling too much.
Lan Wangji was currently doing a handstand on top of the coffin while Jiang Cheng squatted in front, doing peace signs, when Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen arrived. Wei Wuxian immediately burst out in laughter whilst Lan Xichen buried his face into palms upon witnessing the ludicrous sight.
“Wangji! Get down from there!” Lan Xichen scolded, and Lan Wangji winced and toppled over, falling straight onto Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian was clutching onto Lan Xichen for support and even Lan Xichen had to hide his laughter behind his sleeve.
“Huaisang these look amazing!” Wei Wuxian squealed, gesturing to the vast array of paintings and Lan Xichen had to agree. Nie Huaisang had always been gifted at the arts. “...Wait a minute, there’s like almost thirty paintings here, how long have you two been posing next to Sect Leader Yao’s coffin?”
Jiang Cheng, who was rubbing his sore thighs that Lan Wangji had crushed upon falling on him, turned to his brother-in-law who shrugged, and then they turned back to their older brothers with sheepish looks.
“Would you like a family portrait?” Nie Huaisang asked.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen looked at each other, and then at their ridiculous husbands, then to an expectant Nie Huaisang, and then back at each other.
Wei Wuxian tilted his head to the side
Lan Xichen raised one delicate eyebrow.
Wei Wuxian tilted his head to the other side.
Lan Xichen tapped his chin.
And then they both smiled, turning back to Huaisang. “We’ll go get the juniors.” They said in unison, and then they were off walking side by side.
Jiang Cheng stared at Lan Wangji. You saw that right?
Lan Wangji blinked at him. Mn.
Jiang Cheng threw his hands up in the air. They didn’t even open their mouths.
Lan Wangji nodded, with feeling. It was very disturbing.
Jiang Cheng blinked twice. I know right?
~
Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian returned, with the juniors in tow who were slightly horrified yet thoroughly amused by what was happening.
Nie Huaisang flexed his fingers, preparing to paint such a large number of people.
They all positioned themselves behind the coffin, making sure that the star of the painting was still in view. Wei Wuxian threw his arm around Lan Wangji’s shoulders and Lan Sizhui stood in front of his parents, smiling with white lilies in his hands.
Jiang Cheng stood in the back next to Lan Wangji and was holding hands with Lan Xichen, and the two shared a soft look with one another. Lan Jingyi was in front of them leaning on the coffin with one hand and throwing up a peace sign with the other.
“Um, are you sure you want me here-?” Ouyang Zizhen had mumbled nervously while they were getting into position.
“Of course.” Jiang Cheng had rolled his eyes before even Jin Ling could reassure him. “ You’re my future nephew-in-law. “
And Ouyang Zizhen’s face had lit up while Jin Ling’s had reddened as he cursed out his Jiujiu, and now they were linking arms with each other, standing beside Lan Jingyi.
“Huaisang, don’t forget to paint yourself in the picture too!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, and both his husband and his son barely winced at the volume.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji nodded in agreement.
Nie Huaisang froze, briefly scanning their faces, and at Lan Xichen’s warm smile, he responded with a light, “Of course, Wei-Xiong.” and began painting.
They didn’t have to hold their pose for very long, Nie Huaisang was extremely talented after all, and when it was all done, they were smiling and laughing, entertained by the morbid yet touching turn the evening had taken.
“I, for one, think that the funeral was a success.” Lan Jingyi declared, eliciting groans from his friends.
“Shut up Jingyi.” Jin Ling hissed.
“Hey, shouldn’t you be nicer now that you’re courting someone?”
“ Jingyi! ” Ouyang Zizhen hissed and then Lan Jingyi laughed, grabbing a startled Lan Sizhui whose last words were “ Wait! A-Yi!- ” and leaping over the coffin, sprinting away from the easily embarrassed couple. Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen chased after them, holding hands the entire time.
Lan Xichen sighed, leaning against the coffin, debating whether or not he should take a quick nap on top of it. Wei Wuxian went over to drool over Nie Huaisang’s paintings. And Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji had to agree with Lan Jingyi’s sentiment.
The funeral had been a success.
~
Three weeks had passed, a wonderful three weeks in which Jiang Cheng hadn’t received any letters signed “Sect Leader Yao .” The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Jiang Cheng was just smiling to himself, sipping his tea in his quarters when one of his disciples approached him with a letter inviting him to the Yao Sect.
Jiang Cheng’s heart momentarily stopped beating in his chest, but he calmed down when he realized that there was no signature. Perhaps one of the elders required his assistance in dealing with all the proceedings that took place after a Sect Leader died.
And Jiang Cheng would help them because his joy from Sect Leader Yao’s death had not since faded. Thus, he traveled to the Yao Sect, and unlike many other times, this time, he remained in high spirits during the entire journey.
~
Jiang Cheng pointed at him. What are you doing here?
Lan Wangji pointed right back. What are you doing here?
Better yet …Jiang Cheng glanced around the hall suspiciously, What are they all doing here? Jiang Cheng gestured to the abundance of Sect Leaders and cultivators scattered throughout the hall, mumbling to each other, as confused as he and Lan Wangji were.
“Perhaps there will be another ceremony for Sect Leader Yao.” Lan Xichen suggested, trying to ease their worries.
“Yeah!” Wei Wuxian agreed. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!”
A senior Yao disciple called attention to the room.
“There has been a traitorous sect amongst our ranks. The Lin Sect forged an alliance with ours and with the intent to execute Sect Leader Yao and conquer this land.” The disciple explained the room burst out into gasped murmurs, but not many were surprised that someone wanted to kill Sect Leader Yao-
“We apologize for the deception, however in order to keep our Sect Leader safe, drastic measures were taken, and now-”
“I’m back. ” Sect Leader Yao burst through the doors, robes billowing behind him as he smirked and walked to stand at the head of the hall. His goatee looked greasier than ever and his smirk was more of a nasty snarl.
Jiang Cheng clutched onto his husband for support. He felt Lan Wangji tense up beside him.
“Well?” Sect Leader Yao asked the astonished room at large, with a lecherous smirk.
“Did you miss me?”
~
As they walked back to their boats, Jiang Cheng felt his heart continue to crumble. There were literal unshed tears in Lan Wangji’s eyes.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen, despite their disappointment at the reveal as well, tried to comfort them.
“It’s just not fair!” Jiang Cheng hissed, clenching his fist.
“I know, my love.” Lan Xichen kissed his forehead.
Lan Wangji sniffed, his lip began to quiver minutely.
“Oh, Lan Zhan! Don’t cry!” Wei Wuxian looked panicked.
“Do you want my handkerchief, Wangji?” Lan Xichen asked, looking at his brother with sympathy.
Lan Wangji nodded wordlessly and Lan Xichen handed it to him. He furiously dabbed at his eyes.
And then tears began pooling in Jiang Cheng’s eyes as well.
“Oh, not you too A-Cheng!” Wei Wuxian cried, and then gently wiped his brother tears with the pad of his thumb. Lan Wangji handed him the handkerchief and Jiang Cheng accepted it gratefully.
“It’ll be okay.” Lan Xichen reassured him.
“Yeah, he’s old and has numerous enemies.” Wei Wuxian added. “He’s bound to die soon.”
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji nodded, slowly, misery beginning to subside.
“You promise?” Jiang Cheng’s voice sounded small. “You promise he’ll die soon?”
“Of course A-Cheng. I’ll even do it myself when the time’s right.” Wei Wuxian grinned as Jiang Cheng relaxed.
“It’ll be okay Wangji. I’ll cover for Wei Ying when the time comes.” And as Lan Xichen patted Lan Wangji’s head, he felt his little brother ease up too.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen looked at each other, hid a smile, and then looked back at the little brothers.
“...Can we help kill him?”
“Yes, A-Cheng.”
“...Do you promise?”
“Of course, Wangji.”