Chapter Text
It had been a relief when Ferb had indicated for Phineas to hand over the mic and let him take over addressing the guests. He hadn’t expected to be this nervous, but apparently the eighteen hour mark before getting married was enough to rattle even him. He half expected to wake up and be a little kid again, building something outrageous and enlisting her help, or fifteen again, agonizing over whether he should ask her to homecoming or if it would make things weird between them. It didn’t totally feel real that he was standing with his arm around her shoulder, or that she was reaching up to hold his hand, maybe not even aware that it gave him a perfect view of her engagement ring.
Ferb gestured to the two of them. “I hope you’ll all join me in congratulating my brother and my friend.” The room cheered.
“Those of you who know me know I’m not one for words,” he said, holding up a single index card. “So I’ll be brief. When we were eight, Isabella asked Phineas to a Sadie Hawkins dance, and he told her it sounded fun, and he and I would both be glad to go with her.”
The crowd figured the ensuing pause was to let the laughter die down before he finished his speech. Instead, he stepped aside and handed the mic to Ginger, who pulled an index card out of her purse to read off of.
“On Valentine’s Day in second grade, Isabella left a whole bag of fun-size candy on Phineas’ desk, with six little cards because she couldn’t decide on one. He assumed she made a mistake, and offered to hand them out to the rest of the class on her behalf.”
Some more guests snickered, as did Isabella. Ginger handed the mic to Buford.
Phineas looked around and saw that several of their friends all had an index card and the same giddy smile, except for Ferb. He shot finger guns at the couple, silent and stonefaced. Isabella pinched the bridge of her nose as Buford started telling the cruise ship story.
Once the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen had taken their turn, Baljeet capped it off with the story of how Phineas finally found out.
“Frankly, he should be less embarrassed that he didn’t catch on until then, and more embarrassed that he was still using the word ‘friendzone'.”
You could hardly tell Phineas’ face from his hair. Linda politely requested the microphone.
“When the kids were in middle school, my husband and I started a bet over whether these two would get together before college,” she said, positively delighted at the turn the evening had taken. “Phineas came home one day the summer after he graduated high school with this big smile on his face, and he looked a little out of it. But before I even got a chance to ask what was going on, Lawrence put a crisp ten dollar bill in my hand, and I called Vivian over for drinks.”
Vivian laughed, and the two of them clinked their glasses. Vivian then turned to cheers her daughter, who was too busy laughing to complain about how embarrassing she was.
Somehow the noise didn’t wake Amanda, who had fallen asleep in her mother’s arms. Candace handed her off to Jeremy and took the mic.
“When I found out they were together, I got Isabella on a group call with Stacy, Jenny, and Ginger so we could all freak out about it, and Stacy said how shocked she was, because no one ever actually ends up with their elementary school boyfriend.”
The guests laughed. Stacy sighed and took a sip of her champagne, at least grateful that no one was turning to look at her.
“Anyway, then we all just screamed into our phones until Isabella caved and started screaming in her car, and that was her inauguration into the conference call cult.”
Phineas raised an eyebrow at Isabella.
“I didn’t know it was a cult,” she said, raising her free hand defensively. Neither of them saw who grabbed the mic from Candace.
“So these kids are walking down the sidewalk above me, and I hear them talking about a dance that’s coming up. And she asks him what he thinks about slow dancing, and he says it’s too hard, you would have to slow down the tempo in your head and try to dance to that.”
Everyone was too busy staring at the strange man with the milk carton to be amused.
“And Mildred and I give each other the same look. We’re both thinking, ‘What’s the matter with this kid? The poor girl’s dropping hints like a seagull!’” Scott furrowed his brow and threw his hands up emphatically.
Gretchen yanked the microphone away from him. “Were you even invited to the wedding?” she said.
“What wedding?”
At that point, the actual guests started to leave and the restaurant employees got ready to close. Gretchen ushered Scott out. Candace and Jeremy said their goodbyes, it being far past Amanda’s bedtime. The wedding party had to rest up as well, though some of them were too excited to sleep.
This was it.