Work Text:
Hurtin’ Bad
Thanks to my Beta Lyn
I look over to where he’s laying, huddled under our two bed rolls and my first thought is “He’s hurtin’ bad.” I throw some wood on the small fire and I walk over to him. I kneel down beside him and I drink him in; at least his head, his strong features and the other parts I map in my mind because I know his body nearly as well as I know my own. His golden curls are stuck to his forehead and his eyes are closed, but not for him the painless world of dreams. He’s in a world of heat and agony. His breathing is shallow and his skin is pale. He keeps turning his head restlessly and mumbling incoherently. I can’t make out what he’s saying, it’s all a jumble but then I hear it; my name. “Heyes” I run my fingers through his damp curls and push them lightly from his face. “Kid, I’m right here.” He opens his eyes and for just a fleeting moment he looks at me and I feel him move under the blankets. I see his fingers pushing out from under the covers and I reach down and grasp his hand in mine and somehow it is enough to give him peace. The lines around his eyes smooth out and he settles into sleep.
I sit with him for a long time. The fire dies down and the sun begins its descent and I know I will have to move soon and see to the chores of the camp but still I stay where I am. I am frightened but somehow strangely at peace. I close my eyes and replay the scenes again in my head.
My so called ‘silver tongue’ couldn’t save me from the anger of a bad loser. The stupid thing was the poker pot was small; seventy dollars or so. Imagine losing him over such a paltry thing. In our hay days as notorious outlaws we would have laughed at such a small sum but now on our quest for the damned elusive amnesty it is what we are reduced to play for. Kid had intervened when the hot head had gone for his gun and of course Kid had outdrawn him. Not a shot was fired and the bad loser left the saloon looking shamefaced.
Back in our hotel room we talked about it. I guess I was angry but at the same time proud. He had saved my hide once again but I couldn’t just say ‘thanks’ ; no I came on as the big know it all. I gave the lecture about screwing up our amnesty and about how I could have talked my way out of it. He just smiled, those blue eyes alive with mischief and then he laughed; he actually laughed. For a moment I was furious and then I joined in. We both knew he had saved my life and our laughter became raucous.
Furious thumping on the wall of our cheap hotel room broke the spell but we couldn’t stop. We fell on the bed and tried to smother our laughter in the musty pillows. I don’t know how long we lay there giggling like the kids we had once been a very long time ago but I broke the spell by kissing him. It seemed like the most natural thing to do and he responded. Kid never does anything by halves and my mouth was taken in the most intense kiss of my life. My tongue battled against his as he pushed me on to my back and lay against my body. My hands reached out for him. I brushed my fingers against his chest and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. I pushed my hand flat against his smooth chest and slid my palm down its length and I tugged at the buttons of his pants and edged my fingers through the gaps in his long johns and I felt his hardening penis. I was rock hard and I couldn’t get enough of him. I heard him groan and I think I groaned too but I was too lost to consider what I was doing. I felt his fingers pull at the buttons of my pants and somehow we were both pulling and pushing clothes out of the way. I remember the sound of boots hitting the floor. I was conscious of the cool air against my erection and then some kind of madness took hold of me and I scrambled down the bed and pushed him on to his back and took him into my mouth. His flesh was warm and I sucked and licked at his penis. For a moment I panicked as he filled me completely but then I relaxed as instinct took over and suddenly he was coming hard against the back of my throat. I swallowed quickly. He tasted like slightly bitter berries in autumn but as his flesh softened I became aware of my own rousing need.
We’ve been partners a long time and I suppose it was only natural that he was as aware of my needs as I had been of his. He shifted smoothly away from me but before I could protest he whispered in my ear. “Do you want me, Heyes?”
I was almost incoherent, did I want him? I wanted only him. Amnesty, money, poker; nothing mattered. It was just about us. Kid turned over and looking back over his shoulder said. “Come inside me.” The invitation was nearly enough to make me come there and then. I covered his body with my own. I kissed my way down his back but when I reached his ass I stopped. The enormity of what he was offering me over took me and I felt my erection begin to fail. Kid sensed my hesitancy. “Heyes I want to do this.” We had both been on enough cattle drives to realize what went on between some of the cowboys late at night and out of earshot of the camp but until this moment I don’t think either one of us had thought about what such a coupling would involve. Just then Kid tilted his ass and the pressure against my cock roused it to action. I had ridden with enough gangs in my time to have heard the whispered explanations of what happened between men to realize that if I didn’t want to hurt Kid then we’d need some thing to make it easier for him. I was trying hard to think but my weeping cock was making its presence felt. “Goose fat.” Kid muttered and for a moment it didn’t register but I realized that Kid had picked up a jar of goose fat that afternoon at the mercantile. He always stocked up on that when reached a town. He liked to keep some in his saddle bag to treat small nicks our horses came upon on the trail. I slipped off the bed and found the jar on the table. I removed the lid and pulled Kid’s legs apart. I knelt between his knees and smeared the fat onto my fingers. I pushed a finger inside him and felt the tightness of his body against my flesh. I withdrew it and pushed two fingers into his tight opening. He wriggled back against my hand and I moved my other hand on to his cock. I tired to open him up with my fingers while my other hand pumped his hardening cock but I was burning with an intensity I had never known before. I wanted to shove inside him but I was so afraid I would hurt him that I held back. He began to move under me and it was hard to tell which one of us was moaning. I withdrew my fingers again and somehow managed to coat my cock in the fatty substance then I pulled him up until my cock was resting against his tight hole. I nudged against the small opening and pushed inside. I must have hurt him because I heard him take a sharp intake of breath and his hardness began to fade in my hand. I stopped but I didn’t withdraw, I just pumped his cock harder and whispered. “Easy, do you want me to stop?” But I was lost and I think he knew that too. He didn’t answer just pushed back against me and his cock began to fill again. I pushed in deeper and the feeling was incredible; better than blowing a safe and better than any feeling I had ever had while inside a woman. I thrust hard into that tight channel and I don’t know what happened but suddenly he was moaning my name and meeting my thrusts with movements of his own. He came in my hand just after I came deep inside him.
I collapsed on his back and lay where I was for a few moments. The silence filled the room and as I came back to myself the enormity of what had just happened struck me and I got up from the bed. I poured some water into the basin and cleaned myself up. For once in my life I didn’t know what to say.
“Heyes, why didn’t we do that before?” I turned around to find Kid grinning at me from the bed. “That was the best poke I ever had.” He was sitting up and looking at me the way he used to when we had just robbed a bank or a train. “I’m gonna’ be sore tomorrow but it was worth it. Boy was it worth it.”
“I’m sorry, Kid.” I began but he cut me off.
“Jesus! Don’t do this, Heyes. I love you. I always have and I won’t have you feeling guilty about doing something I wanted to do. We’re good together and I ain’t going to feel guilty about doing something that feels this good.” He moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “You know for someone who’s supposed to be the brains of the partnership you can be awful stupid sometimes.”
I turned into his embrace. “When did you get to be so smart?”
“Comes from hanging around with a genius.”
I hear him groan and I see the sun is sinking over the horizon. I put my hand on his forehead and he is cooler. His fever is breaking and that’s a good sign. I put his hand back under the covers and I rise slowly from beside him. My muscles protest at the hours of inactivity but the discomfort I feel is nothing to the pain he is going through. I leave him with reluctance and gather firewood from the edge of our camp, never straying too far so that he is always within my field of vision. Thankfully the fire has not gone out completely and within a short while it is burning brightly and chasing the shadows of the day away. I hear the gentle snorts of the horses and turn my attention to getting them settled for the night. By instinct I fill the coffee pot with water and while it heats I watch him. He is sleeping and I think he isn’t hurting so much now. I wonder if he is dreaming. The coffee is hot and it steams as I fill my cup. I wrap my fingers around it. The liquid burns a path down my throat and I ease myself down on a log near the fire.
After a night spent wrapped in each other’s arms we had awakened together and I had pulled him to me and pumped our hard cocks together. We went off like fire crackers on the 4th July. He dozed while I shaved and I had watched him when he took his turn in front of the old cracked mirror and we had smiled every time we caught each other’s eyes. I suppose we must have talked but I can’t recall the words just the silly grins and the feeling in my stomach at the sight of him. For once I had reined in my tongue and just enjoyed our time together. We ate breakfast and collected our horses from the livery; all every day things but now they were transformed by what we had done the night before. I remember he winced when he sat in the saddle but instead of complaining he had grinned and winked at me. We rode out of town as pleased as if our amnesty had been granted.
Was it only yesterday that the world had felt that good? It was a beautiful day; blue skies and warm. We had chatted like schoolboys about old times but neither one of us mentioned what we had done. It was late afternoon when they surprised us. Three riders coming up quickly behind us from some almost hidden trail. I spotted him first; the bad loser from the night before, riding high in the saddle with two friends. Kid broke the silence. “I don’t think your silver tongue is going to get us out of this one.”
I nodded and spurred my horse on. Kid did the same directly behind me and we took off at full gallop as the bullets began to come our way. We rode for a few minutes with just the whine of bullets breaking the silence. Kid’s horse faltered for a moment but regained his balance and I turned my attention to the track in front of us. I guess, looking back at it now, it was during that brief pause that one of those bastards got lucky and Kid got hit but I didn’t realize it just then and we rode on.
Over our years as outlaws we must have been chased by hundreds of posses and these guys behind us were pure amateurs. I took the lead in a few basic manoeuvres and within an hour we had lost them. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself when I reined in my horse and turned to Kid. He was further behind me that I thought and I knew instantly that something wasn’t right but before I could say anything he reined in beside me. “You haven’t lost the touch but we have another small problem.” He winced as he spoke and I looked at him. A feeling of dread took me. “Where?” But before he could answer I realized his right leg was out of the stirrup and there was a large dark patch high up on his pants leg.
I was at his side instantly. “Take it easy, Kid. Let me get you down and we’ll take a look at it.” I was already pressing my bandanna against his thigh.
“No, Heyes, we’ve got to find somewhere to make camp if I get down now I won’t be getting back up for a while.” He tried to smile but his blue eyes were filled with pain. I wanted to drag him into my arms but I knew he was right.
I eased his leg around and felt the both the back and front there was a wound on the back of his leg just above his knee but I couldn’t find another one which meant that the bullet was still in there. I grabbed a Henley from my saddle bags and tied it pretty tightly around the wound. He hissed but didn’t say anything and I knew he was using all his strength to stay on his horse. I looked up at him and put on my most reassuring smile but it didn’t fool him. “Looking on the bright side at least we lost them and they didn’t get your shooting arm.”
“Ever the optimist.”
I mounted up and led the way. I kept up a babble of nonsense for the half hour it took to find somewhere safe and unobtrusive to make camp and I reckon he stayed on his horse by will power alone. Kid can be bloody minded when he makes up his mind to do something. I found this site by a steam and after I tied my horse I grabbed his bed roll from his pack and eased him to the ground. His hair was wet with sweat and he was very pale. I half carried him to the clearing and put him lying on the bed roll. I got my canteen and held his head as he sipped from it. “Thanks.” He mumbled and I felt my self begin to shake all over. I stood up and walked to my horse. I felt like getting sick but I knew he needed me so I took a deep breath and got my saddle bag. The light was beginning to wane and I knew I needed to act fast if he was to have any chance of surviving the night. Heading for the nearest town was not an option and we both knew it. I eased his boots off and opening my makeshift bandage I used my knife to cut his pants leg away from the wound. I pulled and tugged the pants off him and tried to drown out his gasps as I worked. I cut through the leg of his long johns and I felt sick when I saw how much blood he was losing. I took a shirt from my bag and tied it around his leg tightly. He grabbed my hand when I finished doing that. “You’re going to have to get it out.” He was only stating what we both knew but I didn’t want to do it. “Kid, maybe in the morning I could go for help.” I trailed off and he held my hand. “Heyes, get the god damned bullet out.” I didn’t make any more arguments.
I got a good fire going and heated the blade of my knife in the flames. All the while Kid watched me from where he lay. I came back to him with the knife and a pair of long johns in my hand. I knelt down beside him. He reached out for my hand. “You got to promise me something, Heyes.”
At that moment I would have promised him the world and somehow I would have got it for him. “Anything, Kid.”
“No matter what happens you’ve got to go for the amnesty.”
“Fuck the amnesty. You’re all that matters to me and you’re going to be all right. Remember I’ve removed bullets before.” I clasped his fingers and I realized his hand was cold.
“No! You promise me. It’s important to me, Heyes.”
“Yes. If it ‘s important to you then yes I’ll go for the amnesty but you’re going to be right beside me when we get it, you hear?”
“I hear. No need to shout. Now do it before I recall the last time you took a bullet out of me.”
Somehow I found the bullet with the point of my knife and I cauterized the wound. I kept hoping that he’s pass out but he didn’t just stayed as still as he could as I cut into his flesh. By the time I was finished my hand had started to shake but I wrapped the long johns around his leg and prayed to a god I didn’t believe in any more for him to sleep and he did. He slipped into a disquieting world of dreams. I put my bed roll over him and built a big fire and I spent the night watching him. It was the longest night of my life.
Now another day has passed away and he is still with me. He is my best friend and he’s the best partner a man could have but now he has become something more. I want to feel him against me; I need to kiss him and I want to experience the feeling of being inside him. It’s my fault that he got shot but there are so many things that I am responsible for where he is concerned. I led him into this life of crime and I can’t help feeling I am leading him on a dangerous quest for an amnesty that becomes more elusive by the day. I need him.
The silence of the advancing night is broken by his murmurs and once again I return to his side. His skin is cold now and I feel a sense of panic. Surely his fever is gone? What is happening now? I can’t lose him; I won’t lose him. I take off my boots and crawl in beside him. I pull him gently into my arms and I hush his babbling. We have both lost too many people to this world that I swear we will not lose each other. I feel his skin warming against mine and I hope he has found a place where pain cannot reach him.