Work Text:
Beauty crowds me till i die. The words of Emily Dickinson struck him in a way that immediately had his eyes darting up from the book propped open on the desk and over to the figure who was diligently writing, an extra pen tucked unknowingly behind one ear and a furrow to his brow. Giving him the illusion of imperial intelligence, carved from marble and the most precious stones. Especially when those ocher eyes blinked heavily, before settling on him, sending a shiver up his spine.
"Alright babe? Didn’t hear you come in." voice no louder than a hum in the ringing silence of their room. Zayn’s face immediately lit up with a fatigued sense of glee as he put down the heavy text books in his lap, reaching out for the older man who carefully shed his suit jacket, loosening his tie methodically as he toed off his shoes before walking over and sitting beside the smaller lad and immediately getting a lap full of the lad.
"You said that you would be home hours ago. You said that we could go out shopping and see the new collection at Burberry and I had to go alone." the pout that threatened to make Liam fall to his knees came out but he held strong, instead reaching out to caress the relaxed wax free hair that Zayn never went without.
"Sorry baby. Had to go and oversee the trainees. Took longer than I intended. I took the day off tomorrow, if you want to go and buy it." he tried to amend, reaching down for his socks, tossing them to the other side of the room.
"No need. Already did. Courtesy of my amazing hardworking boyfriend. I got some things I thought you might like as well." with that dazzling smile that he tended to carefully, brushing and flossing three times a day.
"That’s good. As long as you’re happy." he mumbled, leaning forward so that his lips pressed against the blotches of ink that peeked from the muscle top’s drooping strap, nuzzling into his warmth.
"Well there’s a new shipment to Topshop tomorrow… and like this really cool exhibit at this museum. But it’s stupid, I’d rather go shopping, if you can’t do both." shifting so that he was straddling Liam, legs bracketing his hips and hands pressed to his impressive pecs.
"That sounds like a good day lovely. I have to go and give a presentation to the benefactors a little bit later but I’m yours for the morning. Which reminds me, I need you to go and get a really good looking suit and make yourself all pretty for me. There’s a gala tomorrow for the benefactors and investors and I need a little company." he mumbled, fighting his fatigue as Zayn shifted and petted his head, albeit a bit awkward and clumsily.
"Company or a pretty thing on your arm to compete with the other trophy wives?" a few pokes to his abs that he shifted away from, reaching to grab both the tender wrists in his grip, tight and a raised eyebrow as Zayn grinned at him, that magnificent smile that was partly teasing and another part play that he wished wasn’t there. He knew what Zayn’s real smile was like ,the sweet tongue between teeth eye crinkling grin. This was a public smile that he used when trying to impress.
"Both, and I need my pretty play thing to make sure he looks the best, because there are going to be a lot of beautiful women there." staring hard at Zayn who rolled his eyes.
"Like those botox injected heifers have anything on me." and he knew that they really didn’t, not when his Zayn was so pleasantly slim and narrow, jawline that could cut diamonds and a face that was both revered and jealousy inducing. But he had qualities that his co workers couldn’t help but envy, the elaborately natural eyelashes that fanned out in clusters, framing his luminous eyes in the perfect way, or how naturally red and plump his lips were, his dark silly hair that he had taken to slicking back ,rather than the quiff that seemed so adolescent when it compared.
"Just making sure. And I better not see you talking to any of my co workers. I know what you’re like. So either stay by my side or find a nice girl to talk to." he instructed, grabbing onto the narrow hips as Zayn fidgeted and fought to get away.
"You make me seem like such a whore." he grumbled, and yeah he knew Liam was over protective of what was his, and technically he saw Zayn as his.
"Not a whore, just a little promiscuous. And especially when it comes to someone who seems to have a higher paycheck than me." Liam chuckled, his grip near bruising but Zayn’ didn’t say anything.
Their ‘relationship’ if it could even be categorized as that even, began Zayn’s freshman year of college, almost a year ago when he was waiting tables at a restaurant frantically toward the end of a thirteen hour shift that had begun after a night of studying.
Liam had been a customer, and somehow they collided, a bowl of spag bol flying over Zayn’s head and leaving him mentally exasperated as he attempted to apologize to Liam who simply helped him up, waving away the owners admonitions to Zayn, and helping him into the bathroom where he was nearly in tears, still slurring apologies in his muddled mind. Liam had just silently cleaned him up, and sometime between getting a ride home and saying goodbye his number was in Liam’s phone and there was a kiss being pressed to his lips.
Somewhere along the way after Liam continuously paying for the dates, each outing, gifting him with textbooks and nice things he had shifted from his shitty dorm with doors that didn’t even close properly to the high rise apartment with floor to ceiling windows looking out to the city and a CEO to Payne Industries catering to his every childish demand.
People had speculated, calling him a gold digger, and making it seem like he had turned Liam gay but they had no idea it was a give and take, he took care of Liam’s needs, was there when needed, and made him look good and young, and Liam took care of him in return. They could call Liam his sugar daddy all they wanted, he was the one with Gucci custom watches on his wrists and vacations to Prague whenever he wanted. Or whenever Liam allowed. There was a limit to his spending, and it was Liam.
"Not a whore. You’re easily tempted by pretty things." Liam teased, bopping him on the nose as he eased the dainty lad off his lap and back in front of his books.
"Put the books away. It’s late and I want to cuddle." Liam said, a finality to his words with a matching stare as Zayn opened his mouth to protest, he had exams coming up, and an easel and canvas waiting for him but he huffed, setting his books aside on the desk that was designated as his work area, and heading toward the bathroom to do his nightly routine. It included three different moisturizers, including his legs (because Liam liked him to be smooth and hairless) a light face mask that dried and rinsed easily, along with his dental care and a brush through his hair.
"You’re so compulsive about your appearance." Liam snorted, bare chest on display as he lay sprawled across the bed, reaching out as Zayn rolled his eyes but crawled in beside him, his back pressed to Liam’s warm side as the hand splayed across his toned stomach.
"This level of beauty takes a fair amount of maintenance." he mumbled, punching Liam in the arm before dragging the blankets over his shoulders, head nestled on the pillow as Liam dragged him closer, hand clasped on his hip and thumb tracing over the sharp jut of his hip.
"How was your day?" Zayn asked, reaching up to tug on a lock of Liam’s softened hair, ruining the smooth mature look that was held stiff with gels. He was met with a groan and faint mumbles as Liam turned over so that his back was to Zayn, snores following a second later.
"It was nice talking to you too." he snorted, making himself comfortable against Liam’s back, leeching off of his natural heat because Liam always insisted on keeping their room absolutely frigid and his body depleted of any its own core heat.
Waking up the next morning he didn’t even have to turn over to know that the other side of the bed was empty, the sheets cold and abandoned, a note in it’s place with a credit card and another fake promise, that was surely going to get broken like the one from last night. He didn’t know why he always did it, letting his hopes get the better of his common sense. But there was no pain that a little shopping couldn’t assuage, or mask at the very least.
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“Zayn! Are you ready?” Zayn rolled his eyes as Liam blundered through the flat, probably rushing to shed his work clothes and get ready for the even they had to be at in an hour.
“Yeah. I wish I could say the same about you. You’re late again.” he called out, standing at the vanity to muss his hair casually, so that it was slicked back but slightly to the side, different.
“Well that’s what happens when you’re a CEO. Oh wait, you wouldn’t know since you haven’t even had a job in a year.” Liam snapped, as he slammed the door to the bathroom. Zayn clenched his fists, taking deep breaths to try and ignore the slash of embarrassment that raced through his insides. He was used to Liam having these little fits of lashing out at him, it wasn’t anything new. But he doesn’t know when he turned into a little bitch who took it without a fight back.
“Well I would still have one if someone wasn’t such a possessive git and punched my boss for giving me a hug.” he hollered right back, smirking to himself as Liam told him to fuck off. He took another minute to breath, before grabbing his suit jacket off one of the hooks, glancing at his reflection in the mirrors on every free space of the walk in closet. THe suit was well fitted, showing off his slim waist, double breasted jacket so that it pulled in, nice and neat. stark white and ribbon bolo style substitute for an actual tie. The pants slimmer than he would normally go for, whenever he was forced into a monkey suit and paraded in front of Liam’s friends, but tapered off a half an inch from the heel and showed off his new suede boots from Kooples.
“Take that goddamn earring out. You look like a pirate. And is that a new tattoo?” Liam came waddling in, one hand holding up the towel around his waist and the other reaching for his boxers.
“No, I think I’ll keep it in. It looks nice. And yeah, d’you like?” pulling back the french cuff to show off the intricate design that spanned up the length of his wrist. Liam only spared a second to glance at it, answering with a shrug.
“It’s nice.”
“That’s it? It’s nice?” he scoffed, shaking his head as he gathered his jacket, slamming the bedroom door he headed toward the kitchen, needing a smoke but settling for the some of the hard candy he kept there.
“What is your problem?” Liam was suddenly in front of him, already dressed and running a towel throw his damp hair, glaring down at the smaller lad in annoyance and frustration.
“Me? I don’t have a problem other than having to deal with your pmsing.” Zayn grunted, trying to not let the way Liam’s chest looked in that shirt distract him, but it was hard with the way the fabric stretched and shifted as he moved.
“Look Zayn, I’m not in the mood to deal with your childish behaviour right now. So stop being a brat, and go wait in the car. Try and act like a mature adult.” Liam scolded, grabbing Zayn by his upperarm and nudging him toward the door, his expression gradually softening as Zayn looked back with a glare that was supposed to cut him down at the knees.
“Fuck you. I’m not some dog that you can just command to go and sit and kneel.” Zan growled, crossing his arms as Liam sighed again, shaking his head as he walked forward.
“Look, I’m sorry babe. I don’t mean to sound like a prick but this is really important to me. If this day goes right then it will be a good day for the industries. If it doesn’t then my job and this whole company is in danger of failing. So I need you to be good boy and try to behave. Please? I’ll get you a reward if you’re on your best behaviour.” Liam bargained, already walking away, leaving a sour taste in Zayn’s mouth. Has he always been so easily persuaded to just bend to Liam’s will? Something dangled in his face and he’s their little bitch? He didn’t bother to deign Liam with a response, slipping on his jacket and scarf to ward away the winter chills before slipping into the back seat of the expensive town car, just as expensive and beautiful as everything Liam owned. He accused Zayn of being tempted by pretty things, but Liam did as well, the only difference was Liam collected them and paraded them around like trophies.
He remained silent, as Liam preoccupied himself on his phone, staying as far from him as possible.
“Zayn? Are you alright?” Zayn scoffed under his breath, now Liam wanted to ask. Ofcourse, just as they were slowing down. “You will try and behave, wont you?” a hint of a threat under his sweet laced overtone. Zayn clenched his fists, debating on whether or not it was worth it to deck him in the face now and face the consequences later.
“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll be the perfect little show bitch.”
“I don’t want you to be show bitch Zayn. I just know how crazy you can get. Especially when someone says something to you. Hey, look at me?” he wanted to refuse, to stay rigid and cold but Liam was reaching for his hand and pulling him closer until they were pressed against each other.
“I’m sorry. I know that I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately and I’ll make it up to you. This weekend, whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to have. I’m all yours. Alright? Just you and I.” tracing his finger over the newest patch of ink on Zayn’s wrist, right under the watch he had given him as a one year anniversary present. Well, first present in a line of ten, each getting trumping the one before in grandeur.
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Liam was mad, scratch that, absolutely piping furious. His hands were brutally gripping the back of Zayn’s neck as he guided him out of the gossiping party and toward the waiting car. Zayn slid as far from him as he could get, away from the painful grip that he had him in. He wasn’t sure what exactly he had done to deserve Liam’s wrath all night, but the night seemed destined to disaster from the second they stepped in.
Liam had gone off to talk with some associates from work, suck up and kiss ass as Zayn put it bluntly, leaving him to his own devises right off the bat. He had managed to occupy himself, chatting with random people and turning on the charm as he wandered around the room with a champagne flute in hand, feeling Liam’s burning eyes on his back as he mingled with some of Liam’s co workers, not missing the way they seemed to practically fall at his feet, eyes trailing after him as he walked away. It was nothing more than harmless fun, a meaningless way to pass the time.
Eventually he found Niall and Harry among the crowds and stuck close to them, eyes orbiting Liam’s as he watched his older lover flirt shamelessly with young women who preened and fawned at his attention. He nearly saw bloody red as Liam bent forward and pressed a kiss on a sultry brunette’s hand, treating her like she was fine china, because he never caressed Zayn’s skin like that. He justified his increased flirtations on Liam’s blatant ignorance of his presence, latching onto the arm of an up and coming music producer and enticing him with eyes peering from under fawned eyelashes and a quirked grin that caught the young man hooked.
But it didn’t seem to sit with Liam well as he went flaming red as the strange younger boy touched and flirted and leaned forward tokiss his Zayn, ignoring the women whom he had been occupying himself with in exchange for stomping over to Zayn and yanking him back, by his skinny forearm and out of that room after words that stung a harsh sting of embarrassment in Zayn’s guts.
“Liam-”, his face a mask of feigned casualty, his rough fingers digging into his veins and causing him to wince and try to pull away.
“Don’t.” growl emerging deep from his throat, eyes cutting into his very being, dark and and sinister in anger. He hated how he cowered away and turned away, tugging his sleeves down over his knuckles. A weight in his gut expanded the longer he stayed in that car, tightening a noose around his throat. He had screwed up, badly. It wasn’t even the fact that Liam had embarrassed him in front of his own friends, as well as everyone he worked with, or the way he practically manhandled him out of the door, but the way he seemed to cut him down with his disappointed glare. He knew what his actions would cause, and he still did it.
Liam stayed rooted in his seat, fists clenched around his phone, turning it off so he didn’t have to read the concerned messages from Louis Harry and Niall, telling him to calm down and not to hurt Zayn. It wasn’t their concern, Zayn was his, only his. He should be the only person who got those big eyes and fluttering smilesho got those big eyes and fluttering smiles. The only person who should caress that delicate skin, not any of his friends or those little boys who could never take care of his Zayn like he could.
He was none too gentle as the car stopped and he reached over to yank Zayn out after him, a hand wrapped around the back of his neck, fingernails digging into the tender supple skin behind his ears.
“Don’t even fucking think about it.” Liam snarled, pulling him back as the elevator opened and they followed a couple inside, Liam staying casual as he crowded Zayn into a corner, lips pressed to his ear.
“I wasn’t good enough? You had to find someone who could give it to you better? The watch on your wrist or those earring dangling from your pretty lobes? My cock or my tongue in your ass weren’t good enough either?” a hostile murmur that was made to seem affectionate but he could barely get a breath out, the guilt and shame of Liam’s words unbearably heavy on his chest.
He let Liam drag him off the elevator and toward their flat, slamming the front door closed before going toward their bedroom and nearly toppling over as he was shoved onto their california king bed, barely getting a chance to turn over before hands were pining him down by his narrow wrists.
“You little slut. I’ll fucking show you what you’re going to miss out on, because nobody can do to you what I can. Not after this.” an shiver forcefully trailing down his spine as Liam’s hands seemed to be everywhere all at once, then gone again, Liam towering at the foot of the bed as he tugged on his clothes, finally dawning on Zayn what he was planning, as Liam reached for him again.
“Fuck off Liam!” Zayn choked out, scrambling away from the grip that encircled his ankles, bucking and kicking away as the hands pulled him further and further toward the edge of the bed.
“Why? I thought this was what you wanted. Little bitch wants some attention. Well now you have it, now you have all my attention.” Liam sneered, eyes drawn and terrifying as they seemed to gleam with a sinister darkness, grip suffocating as his hand clamped down on both of his wrists, straddling his narrow hips as his free hand tore at the suit shirt that Zayn wore.
“Not like this. Liam stop, you’re hurting me! Get off of me, please!” he pleaded, heart beating out of whack as he fought harder with each breath, until Liam’s hand let go of his shirt and came down on the side of his face.
“Do you have any idea what you did? Do you have any idea how fucking bad you’ve just embarassed me? In front of everyone who matters? Including my own father.” Liam growled, turning into another person in front of Zayn’s fearful eyes, succeeding in pulling the shirt off his body and then flipping him onto his stomach and reaching for his pants.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry please Liam. I wont do it again. I wont ask you for anything or say another word. Please please!” he cried out, scrambling to the top of the bed as soon as Liam let go but the older man was faster, grabbing him around the waist and shoving him back down on the mattress, face buried in the pillows.
“You wanted to act like a desperate little whore, talking to my associates and getting mad when I had to impress my clients instead of entertaining you. I need to remind you of your place Zayn. You’re nothing but my plaything, a live in whore.” biting down on flesh as his hands worked the buckle of his own pants, giving into his anger and humiliation, tuning out Zayn’s pleas and screams, letting the darkness of his gut guide him in destroying the very thing that he let himself indulge in.
He finished with a grunt and a heavy sigh, trying to catch his breath as he pulled out of Zayn, immediately reaching for his wallet. Zayn stayed laying on his stomach, clenching the soiled sheets in his fists, needing something to distract him, from the pain, from the humiliation, from the tears that were swelling in his eyes, from Liam who just watched him for a minute, before raining dollars over his nude figure.
“There’s your payment.” the emotionless monotone in his voice has Zayn groping for the sheet, pulling it over his shoulders, then over his head, desperate to escape, to leave his shattered defiled body and be set free.
“No.” the sheets were pulled off and he shivered, faced with a mirror that forced him to look at him in all his shame, soiled and a mess, hair sticking up in a look of sheer panic that matched the red swelling of his eyes, a bruise appearing on his right cheek and marks that littered the rest of his body, fingerprints from grips too tight, that held him down and stopped his breath, around his neck that stopped his cries, until he was compliant and took it all. The money seemed to be the icing on the cake, now he was cheap and a whore.
“Exactly what you look like on the inside. Nothing but a cheap whore. A toy that I am no longer interested in.” Liam mocked, taking off his watch and tossing it at Zayn as well before grabbing his drink and leaving, the door falling shut with a whoosh behind himself. But all Zayn could see was his own image, wondering when he had become such a desperate weak person who would let someone do that to him. How he could let someone tear him down so far that it felt like the very depths of hell and Liam was Satan at this point.
Clenching his quivering bottom lip he brushed off all the stray hundred dollar bills, trying to work past the trembling limbs to make it to the shower, turning the knob until the walls steamed and the water scalded his tender skin. But it didn’t phase him as he scrubbed and scrubbed at his skin, trying to get rid of the feel of those rough fingers, until his skin was red and he drew blood in some places, watching it intertwine with the blood that dripped down one leg, mingling as one long stream down the drain. But he kept on scrubbing, seeing Liam’s furious face in his mind, the glare and words as pain wracked his body. He didn’t know what hurt most, the assault on his body or the money thrown at him. All he knew, was that there was nothing left for him here, and that he would much rather fare out instead of trapped with Liam.
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Liam threw the glass across the room, hands gripping his hair in anxiety. The guilt weighing down in his gut along with the shame and absolute fury at himself. All he could see was Zayn’s tears and the fear in his voice as he pleaded with Liam to stop, the pained screams in his voice or the blood that stained the bedsheets when he let himself look. Bile rose in the back of his throat and he made a mad dash for the guestroom toilet, head hanging as he retched and emptied the contents of his gut into the swirling toilet.
You’re such a fucking idiot. How could you do that to him. And for what? For talking to Niall and Harry? For getting rightfully angry as you kissed another woman. Or for ordering him to leave like a child, ignoring him like he was nothing. Or embarrassing him in front of a crowd of people.
He growled, slamming the cup down with a resounding smash and feeling the pinch of glass biting into his skin. A small attempt at redemption when he didn’t deserve it, not after what he just did. He had to make it right, or atleast go and make sure that Zayn was alright, try to tend to his wounds, atleast the physical ones because he knew that he had clawed and maimed him mentally and emotionally, till he was nothing. Just like the anger in his head head wanted. To make him feel like nothing, to give Liam all the power, to be god to another human being.
The bed was empty , save for the specks of red that had him hanging his head in shame, and the money that stayed crumbled with the soiled sheets.
“Don’t worry. You don’t have to see me much longer.” the voice came from the doorway of the closet, Zayn’ hoarse faint voice had him turning to look at the smaller boy with a duffel bag over one shoulder, a faded hoodie that he hadn’t seen since he first started dating him, and old faded jeans with pockmark holes that were more with the age of time then artfully purposeful. The hood covered what Liam both eagerly wanted and dreaded seeing, not that he would allow himself the privilege. Liam wanted to speak, to say something, to apologize, grovel, beg, plead, cry. Anything, but he was stuck frozen in that moment.
Zayn didn’t feel the need to say anything either, as he simply took the nike bag and turned it over, dumping out watches, rings, bracelets, studs, cufflinks, phones, laptop, Ipad, kindle, beats headphones, plus bundles of cash. Once the bag was empty enough he reached into his pocket, depositing car keys to the pile, opening his wallet and taking out each and every credit card, along with the cash that was in there, every coin.
He was about to put the wallet away but after a seconds thought pulled it back out, taking out the only thing left in there, his I.d before tossing the wallet into the pile. He pulled off every ring that adorned his narrow fingers, unclasped the metal bracelets that matched the one on Liam’s wrists and yanked out the earring looped in his fleshy lobe.
“My copies to the house and the rest of the cars are on the hook, the accountant will shift all of your funds back under your name, and the joint account will go back in your name. The glasses and contacts you got me are in bathroom along with all of the face creams and hair stuff. I talked to your lawyers and if you send them a list of anything that needs reimbursement for, they will forward it to me. Everything that you have ever given me is staying here with you. I’m glad that I could be of service to you as long as I could Mr. Payne and I do hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” the tone in which he spoke was formal, still heavily marred by rasp, a result of his screaming, of his pleas for forgiveness, begging for Liam to stop, screaming please and no at the top of his lungs.
“Zayn. I’m- I’m so sorry.” he whispered desperately, staring at the bed of things, remembering each present he had given to Zayn, able to see the very look of excitement and glee on his face that he got upon seeing each shiny new bauble, and the proud gooey feeling it gave him. Now it was a slap in his face, shame marring and melting every bone and muscle in body.
“No need. I’m nothing but a cheap whore. And we don’t deserve apologies. Now I think it’s time for me to go. I would rather not waste anymore of your precious time.” hint of venom on the word precious, another slap in the face, because the only precious thing that he owned was Zayn.
“Please. Please Zayn. I don’t- Please. Sorry. I don’t even know- I’m so ashamed. You know- Zee. You know me. I’m not…this isn’t me! Please don’t leave.” he reached out tentatively as Zayn walked by him, making sure to keep a wide barrier between them both. Liam stood in the room, listening to his soft footsteps as he walked away, not making any move to go after him, staring at the bed in disgust, seeing only a pile of crap, but it had all meant something to Zayn. Everything he had ever given him was something meaningful, but all he had ever been able to see was the dollar signs in Zayn eyes, and not the true happiness. Not until he absolutely wrecked it, set fire to everything he had ever wanted, and had under his nose the whole time.