Chapter Text
Zuko can’t explain why he feels the need to visit his father. Maybe he needs to show Ozai that he’s getting through life just fine without him. Without the painful... corrections... that he’d been told, throughout his childhood, he would never accomplish anything without. Maybe Zuko needs to prove to Ozai that he can’t hurt him anymore. Maybe he needs to prove it to himself.
Whatever the reason, in the last few days, he’s found himself drifting closer and closer to the prison his father is kept in. The same one Ozai had thrown Uncle into after Zuko had betrayed him and, even though it nearly makes Zuko sick to look at that building, he has to admit that it’s a perfect revenge.
When he finally goes, it’s in the early morning and practically everyone is asleep. Most importantly, Toph is asleep, because if she found out she’d tell him not to go and he’d agree, because he really doesn’t want to see his father. Coward coward coward.
He slips from the palace, a hooded, silent figure, and makes his way to the prison. Looking up at the massive building, a wave of nausea hits him, as he remembers the last time he had snuck into this building, in the middle of the night. The guard stationed on the wall shouts an accusatory, “Who’s there?”
Zuko flips the hood back and stares up at the guard, who stammers out, “My apologies, Your Majesty.”
”It’s fine,” Zuko rasps awkwardly, “I’m, uh, I’m here to visit my father.” She nods impassively and motions for him to enter. As Zuko walks down the spiral staircase, he tries to push down the feeling of dread growing in his chest.
He nods to the guards stationed outside of the cell they’ve been keeping Ozai in and they open the door to let him in. It clangs shut behind him with a noise that nearly makes him flinch.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the Fire Lord himself?” Ozai speaks up from where he’s sitting against the back wall, in a smooth, cold voice that makes Zuko shudder slightly.
”I’m sorry, I don’t remember the Fire Lord having to explain himself. Especially not, if I recall, to weaker, defenseless relatives,” Zuko snaps.
Ozai smirks, seemingly unbothered, “You’ve certainly grown bolder, boy.”
Zuko shakes his head, “I’ve grown stronger.” He steps up to the bars of the cell, eyeing his father with undisguised disgust, “I’m not afraid of you anymore.”
”Are you so sure about that?” Ozai’s smirk is chilling. Practically before Zuko can blink, Ozai is on his feet and next to the bars, staring down at his son. Zuko flinches hard, taking a automatic half step back. “I thought so,” Ozai’s not smirking anymore, but he looks strangely triumphant, “You’re just as weak as you always have been. You might think that you’re less of a coward, but you’ll always be a pathetic, scared little boy, in the end.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Zuko hisses, a quiet fury in his words.
”You’re very brave when we’re separated like this, but if we were on the same side of the bars it would be a very different story, wouldn’t it?”
”I said, shut the fuck up,” Zuko roars, a familiar anger surging through his chest and sending a plume of smoke out of his nostrils.
”Such brave words from the same boy who sniveled and cried like a coward, when I taught him a lesson,” Ozai muses.
”Maybe you’d like one too,” Zuko fumes, a burst of flame exiting his mouth along with the words.
”Ah, the noble Fire Lord Zuko already threatening to burn defenseless prisoners. What would your precious Avatar say?” Ozai snarls.
Zuko squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and takes a deep breath. When he lets it out he feels significantly calmer. “A threat is all it is,” he says firmly, “I would never put anyone through what you put me through. I’m not you.”
“I never said you were,” Ozai smirks, “Though, now that you mention it, you’d best not let your precious friends see you like that. They don’t have any use for someone so dangerously out of control, do they?”
Zuko hates the shiver of fear these words give him. Because, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, Ozai’s right. His friends would never want someone who can’t even control his own bending, just because he got insulted. “Goodbye, father,” he growls, turning his back on the man and marching firmly out of the room.
”It was a lovely visit,” Ozai calls after him. The clang of the door closing behind him does make Zuko flinch this time.
He knows that he’s shaking and apparently the guards notice it too. One of them speaks up cautiously, “Your Majesty, are you alright?”
”I’m fine,” Zuko snaps and immediately regrets it, when the guard flinches minutely. “I- uh, sorry. Yes, I’m fine,” he mumbles apologetically, before all but running out of the prison. He can barely even feel his own limbs as he shakily makes his way back to the palace.
He’s thought about it in passing before, but he’s never let himself dwell on it. But... what if he is becoming his father. He’s threatened people and shouted for no reason and all that’s left is for him to do is to go through with one of his threats. It’s a selfish thought, but his friends would have no reason at all to stick around if they even thought he was becoming Ozai.
And Uncle... Uncle. Iroh would be so, so disappointed and even though he’s never, ever hurt Zuko, he can’t help but think that that would be the thing that would finally cause his uncle to snap.
You’d deserve it, a voice that sounds much too much like Ozai whispers. And Zuko knows, he knows he would, but it doesn’t make it any less of a scary thought. He can’t turn into his father. He won’t. He’d rather burn.
With this terrifyingly truthful thought, he slips back into the palace and tries to pretend like he’d never left. He wishes he hadn’t.