Work Text:
(URGENT) Why Are Park Jaehyung and Kim Wonpil Wrong and Yoon Dowoon from the Design Department (a.k.a. the most perfect man in this whole Universe) and I Would Definitely Make a Better Couple than Them.
Kang Younghyun <[email protected]> for parkjaehung, kimwonpil, parksungjin, gohyunwoo, choisoobin, imnayeon, kimnamjoon, yoondowoon and other 64 addresses.
My dearest colleagues,
In response to the discussion no. 536239293 between me, Mr. Park Jaehyung and Mr. Kim Wonpil that took place on August 5th, 2020 at 9:30 A.M. during our lunch break (with production manager Mr. Park Sungjin as a witness before he was called into an emergency meeting) in which they both Park Jaehyung and Kim Wonpil declared themselves as the best couple in this office, I bring you in this email a short but detailed list of points of why they’re undoubtedly wrong as, in fact, the potential best couple of this office hasn’t been created yet as me, Kang Younghyun and the most perfect man in this whole Universe, Yoon Dowoon from the design department, are still in the process of becoming boyfriends.
The brief but sharp points are the following ones:
Number one.- Yoon Dowoon is already perfect, and thus, he’d make any relationship perfect with that. I would not dig further in this point as the word ‘perfect’ itself seems to be enough to describe him. However, if you wish, I can send in a list with all Dowoon’s characteristics that, in my humble opinion, turn him into the perfect man he is and how because of him it’s that this office is filled with joy and light every day (what is even the sun when we have Yoon Dowoon smiling when he arrives in the mornings and greets everyone he meets? Or when he always offers to be the one who brings coffee and has already memorized what we all like? Or that time we discovered he had a puppy picture set as the wallpaper of his computer?—Yoon Dowoon from graphic design is the sun in this office and he’s very much perfect, but again, I won’t dig further in this point and I’m aware that no one can disagree with that, so let’s move on).
Number two.- It’s common knowledge that Yoon Dowoon has the softest heart when it comes to others and he doesn’t even try to hide it (take the coffee reference as an example and allow yourself to have a pause and cry a little because Yoon Dowoon has the most beautiful heart of all and we’re lucky to witness his kind actions). We’ve seen him bringing flowers to the office since the early morning because they’d be a gift for his mom on her birthday and he’d give them when he sees her during his break, and also bring more flowers when someone from the graphic design department is reported as sick because he’d visit them later when his shift is over. Yoon Dowoon has admitted himself that he thinks flowers are a nice gift to give. That, gives us the conclusion that on my birthdays and our future anniversaries, Yoon Dowoon would give me flowers too. We shall not forget that flowers are a well-known element for romance—an element, that curiously, isn’t present in Park Jaehyung’s and Kim Wonpil’s relationship.
Yoon Dowoon would also visit me at my apartment when I’m sick to check if I’m feeling better, and it’s important that we remember how Kim Wonpil often avoids seeing Park Jaehyung, his boyfriend, when he’s sick.
And finally, number three.- The combination of my organization skills plus Yoon Dowoon’s ability to always have a good eye for the details would definitely result in the planation of not only the most perfect dates (again—perfect because Yoon Dowoon would be involved and he makes everything perfect) but also the most perfect anniversary parties and social meetings in our apartment with our friends. Together, we would clearly be the best organizers/hosts of whatever we decided to do, just as it was proved when we both collaborate on the edition of the volume no. 35 of our magazine and Mr. Go told us, and I quote, that “we were a blown-minding team”. And if Mr. Go says that I and Yoon Dowoon are a blown-minding team, then I guess we are one indeed. It is what it is.
I hope you enjoyed this short but informative explanation of why Park Jaehyung and Kim Wonpil are wrong about them being the best couple in the office. Even if I’d probably never be brave enough to ask Yoon Dowoon from the design department in a date because he’s way too cute and that scares me to the point of stuttering, it can’t be denied the good couple we would be together and how we could easily beat both Park Jaehyung and Kim Wonpil in a couple battle in case we even decided to participate on it.
Sincerely, Kang Younghyun, editor in chief.
P.S.: I won’t accept any type of criticism on this email. Have a nice day.
It’s been exactly five minutes when:
“That’s unfair! I’m allergic to pollen and you know that!” Jae groans in the cubicle next to him. He’s lying back in the chair’s backrest to be able to see Younghyun despite the small wall division between them. On moments like this, Younghyun wishes he had his own office like Sungjin does—because people are looking at them right now. They always do considering how noisy Jae is and how noisy Younghyun also gets when he’s talking with him.
(It’s contagious, okay? Younghyun doesn’t actually mean to have loud debates about whatever topic Jae randomly comes up with while they’re working and in which later Wonpil also decides to participate very often even if he doesn't work in the same part of the office than them—Wonpil could be either on the speaker during a phone call during them or in Jae’s screen on a video call or right there in person, always typing something in his iPad and wearing his glasses because of course Kim Wonpil is fucking productive even if he’s in the middle of a nonsense debate about how Sungjin would definitely be the last standing man in case a zombie apocalypse started while they were all in the office. Younghyun had insisted it would be Dowoon, of course. Wonpil stuck out his tongue at him for that, calling him whipped).
(“Zombies would think Dowoon’s too cute to be eaten. That’s obvious.”)
(Wonpil and Jae exchange a look between them. They always do that).
(“Sure. That’s bullshit. The only right answer is Sungjin hyung. Debate ended.”)
(Then Wonpil sticks out his tongue at Younghyun and calls him whipped).
(Younghyun doesn’t complain).
(“Oh my God, he’s really so whipped!”).
(He doesn’t complain again).
Younghyun barely looks back at Jae right now, hoping that in that way the attention would be drawn away from them if he acts like if he’s ignoring him. Instead, Younghyun starts redacting an email for Mr. Go related to the budget for a small travel that requires a new article he’ll be working on. It seems to work as Soojin, from the next desk and his other neighbor in desk besides Jae, mumbles something and then there comes the typing of her own computer.
It’s been only five minutes. He didn’t expect for Jae to read it so fast, to be honest.
"So you saw my email,” he hums, eyes still on the computer screen.
Jae scoffs, “It said urgent and it had the company’s name, of course I did. I opened it as soon as I finished watching the video of that bunny eating a tomato that Wonpil sent me” Younghyun frowns at that. The company’s name? Since when Younghyun’s personal address has the company’s name on it? But before he can ask what that means, Jae is speaking again and Younghyun is once more wishing he was promoted to production manager like Sungjin (he would have plants on his office—wouldn’t that be extremely pretty? — and his own, closed space to have this kind of conversations with Jae. In private): “I will include that on my reply for you” Jae exclaims, and he’s suddenly smiling in that dorky way he does whenever he’s talking about Wonpil. Younghyun doesn’t even have to glance at him to know he’s doing it; he’s seen it like a thousand times before, the gesture is practically printed in his memory, “Wonpil always sends me funny and cute videos of bunnies. Bet Yoon Dowoon wouldn’t do that.”
Younghyun hushes him for saying Dowoon’s name with so much ease in a public space. Younghyun glances to his left, then to his right, in front, and to his back to check if someone is still paying attention to their conversation.
Luckily, everyone seems to be busy on something. Even Soojin.
“Maybe not” he answers, returning to finish his email in an attempt to hide the light blush in his cheeks, uh, “but he would definitely give me flowers.”
“I’m allergic to pollen!”
“How bad for you.”
“I literally didn’t ask to be born like that…?”
“Whatever” he says with a shrug. Younghyun moves the chair to be closer to his desk and to stop seeing Jae’s face. “We would be a better couple than you. Debate ended.”
“But we haven’t even started it!” Jae groans once more. “You can’t end a debate like this!”
“Wonpil does it all the time!”
Jae scowls, “Dude, I’m sorry, but Wonpil is way cuter than you, so he has the right to do that.”
Younghyun ignores him completely this time.
It’s been exactly eight minutes when:
“You’ve seen Jae hyung when he gets sick! He’s unbearable so don’t blame me!” there comes Wonpil’s voice in a whine. Younghyun is actually surprised to see him walking in their direction considering he sent that email eight minutes ago and Wonpil’s own office is three floors below them and the elevator’s been broken for a week.
How did he walk all those stairs so quickly? It usually takes Younghyun a while when he has to visit the editors team, but somehow Wonpil managed to read the whole email and walk those never-ending stairs in eight minutes.
Probably it’s that sort of special boyfriend’s sense he’s claimed to have before when it comes to situations of backing up Jae. Probably something else. Younghyun really doesn’t want to know.
“Hey! I’m not that bad!” Jae complains. He hadn’t said a thing in the last three minutes. Glancing at his computer, Younghyun notices two windows opened: one with a video of a bunny sleeping and hugging other bunny and a word document with what seems to be the outline of an article. How is he also that productive? Younghyun is confused.
Wonpil raises a brow, either not seeing how Younghyun is peaking in Jae’s computer or just not caring, “Hyung, last time I tried taking care of you, you asked for so many specifications in the soup I wanted to cook for you that I had to go to three supermarkets to get all the ingredients.”
"I was sick.”
“Exactly! You couldn’t even distinguish the flavors!”
“I told you it was a good soup when you cooked it!”
“You’re fighting in the office” Younghyun points out. Jae scoffs and goes to his computer while mumbling something that maybe sounds like ‘I’ll kick your ass with my own list, just wait’—it’s hard to listen to it clearly when the words are in the middle of a furious typing in the keyboard, “Another reason why I and who-I-won’t-mention-out-loud are definitely a better couple than you because he’s cute and perfect and would absolutely survive on a zombie apocalypse longer than Sungjin hyung” he adds, frowning at Jae’s actions.
Wonpil opens his mouth—
“I know I’m whipped!” Younghyun says before he can.
Wonpil closes his mouth.
“Hey, Younghyun. Can I ask you something?” Jae calls for him, lying back on his chair again like the first time. It has barely been a whole minute since he started typing, so it’s weird. It’s even weirder that there’s a seriousness in his face that Younghyun had thought it was only reserved for when Wonpil and him weren’t on the same side of one of their debates, “Who are exactly your dearest colleagues?”
He frowns, “Umh, you and Wonpil and Sungjin hyung?” he says. “Literally the persons that I sent that email to.”
Jae scratches the back of his head, “Well, you see—“
Wonpil leans towards Jae’s desk, squinting at the computer. There’s an ‘oh, I didn’t notice that before’, and then, he glances at Younghyun. “Hyung, you did it on purpose, right?”
“Did what?” Younghyun’s frown goes deeper.
Jae and Wonpil exchange a look. They always do that.
“Younghyun, you kind of sent that thing to the whole office” Jae says.
“The whole office” Wonpil emphasizes.
And Younghyun screams.
He literally does it. A high pitched short scream that causes again for people to pay attention to them. Even Soojin is startled.
“What the fuck?” he squeals, but then he goes to his computer, sees the email in the sent folder, and he sees all the addressees, and he sees the name of perfect Yoon Dowoon there and Younghyun screams a little again. “What the fuck” he repeats, though this time, not as a question.
What the fuck?
“I know” Jae furrows his eyebrows in a worried sign. “Mr. Go got it too. He is going to kill you.”
“Fire him” Wonpil corrects him. “Mr. Go won’t kill anyone. That’s illegal.”
“Focus on what it’s important!” Younghyun exclaims, “I sent it to Dowoon! I’m dead!”
Wonpil purses his lips together, “Pretty much sure Dowoon wouldn’t kill you either. Still illegal.”
“I meant that my chance of ever dating him is dead” Younghyun clarifies in a scowl. "And my job. Oh my God—my job!"
He hits his head against the desk table. Kill him, please.
“There’s a chance Dowoon hasn’t read it yet” Jae suggests. He sounds too excited considering Younghyun feels himself falling in spiral of eternal pain, “Maybe we can go and delete it before he does? I cannot offer you that option with Mr. Go, though. That man opens an email even before he gets it, I swear."
“How are we even gonna get into his computer?” Younghyun groans from the desk. He doesn't comment anything of Mr. Go because Jae is right and... Fuck.
“We can be like spies!” says Wonpil. Younghyun isn’t exactly sure if that’s an answer for his own question or just a thought of Wonpil being mentioned out loud. It’s proved to be the first one when Wonpil continues: “We would get on his computer without him noticing! Jae can distract him!”
A whine, “Why do I have to be the distraction?”
“Because I know Dowoonie’s password.”
“You don’t! You even forget yours!”
“Fair point. Well, because I know Dowoon more than you and I can guess it quicker.”
“I type quicker than you!”
“This is not about typing, this is about Dowoon’s soul and how I know it better because I talk to him more than you!”
Jae and Wonpil continue arguing about that for whole ten minutes.
Younghyun doesn’t even try to tell them to stop mentioning Dowoon’s name.
He briefly looks at them when Jae says the most useful comment so far, something related to one of them acting and going to the design department and asking for a computer claiming they didn’t have internet downstairs. But then Wonpil explains how the tech team office is next to that department and how they would go with one of the techs to check that and they would notice they’re lying, and then Jae returns again to his suggestion of having Younghyun just going and taking the computer with him without an explanation as he’s going to be fired anyways.
He hits his head with the desk table a second time.
Oh, please kill him.
It’s been exactly thirty four minutes when:
“Hey, Younghyun hyung.”
Younghyun blinks at the person in front of him. He’s been waiting for the past minutes outside the office of Mr. Go in an attempt to get to talk to his boss and redeem himself —he already has an speech prepared—, but according to his secretary, Haeun, who’s sitting in her desk right next to where Younghyun is standing with his back pressed against the wall; the man left for a meeting about an hour ago, though he should arrive from it any time soon.
Younghyun would have preferred it to be Mr. Go, or a horde of zombies beginning an apocalypse, or even Jae and Wonpil with the outcome of how his final plan of sneaking in the graphic design office went (a plan in which they didn’t even bother in including Younghyun, by the way).
But it’s Dowoon. Yoon fucking perfect Dowoon.
Younghyun blushes a little bit too quickly—too quickly as in the exact moment he sees Dowoon. Too quickly as in kill him because he’s blushing so bad and his crush is in front of him, wide eyes comically opened apparently for Younghyun’s reaction.
“Hi Dowoon” comes out in a high-pitchy-clearly-nervous voice from Younghyun’s part.
He can listen to Haeun’s chuckle.
Younghyun blushes more, if possible.
Dowoon smiles kindly as another way of greeting. He also says hello to Haeun with the same smile.
Definitely possible, Younghyun thinks as he watches Dowoon so brightly smiling—he feels his heart is melting.
“You have an appointment with Mr. Go?” Dowoon wonders, gesturing towards the office of their boss.
Younghyun shakes his head. He’s too baffled because of Dowoon’s smile and Dowoon’s mere presence like to think on what he says: “More as a dead sentence to fight against.”
Dowoon’s eyes are comically wide opened again, “What? Is this because of the email you sent to us?”
Oh. He said it. He read it. Younghyun is dead. And an email killed him. It sucks to be him.
(Wonpil was right when he placed it among the first five persons to die the hypothetical scenario of the zombie apocalypse happening in the office).
He gulps, “Listen Dowoon, I’m so sorry—“
“I’m actually here to talk about it, hyung” Dowoon interrupts him midsentence. That’s it. It’s over for Younghyun. For now on he won’t only be fired but also hated for the most perfect man in this Universe. It absolutely sucks to be him. “You said that you were scared, so I think it’s better if I do it?”
Younghyun blinks. Is Dowoon blushing? It doesn’t make sense at all. Did the air conditioner stop working in the office and he didn’t notice it before? Mr. Go should consider writing another complain to the building owner. First the elevator, then the air conditioner…
“Do you wanna go out with me some day?”
Oh—Dowoon didn’t tell him he hates him. He asked him out.
Oh—Dowoon didn’t tell him he hates him. He just asked him out.
What the fuck?
Younghyun blinks again. “Go out in a date?” he’s stuttering. He really didn’t lie on that part when he wrote it. “With you? Go out as in a date?”
Slowly, red cheeks glowing, Dowoon nods.
Younghyun blinks once more, “Sure.”
Haeun is chuckling a second time.
Younghyun blushes because only then he remembers she’s there. Dowoon’s ears are now red too, and he isn’t looking straight at Younghyun’s eyes anymore as he did before, his head bowing slightly at his shoes.
“Umh, you have my number, right? So we can plan it all” he says, and he is still not looking at Younghyun, which is fine because Younghyun himself is having a hard moment trying to process everything that’s going on. Younghyun’s lack of answer is perhaps what takes Dowoon to continue speaking: “I wouldn’t like to ruin your expectative of a date with me, because uh, you know, you deserve the best date because you’re a great person. And you’re also kind. And funny. You’re very funny. I always laugh when I hear your conversations with Jae hyung and Wonpil hyung. Not that I eavesdrop at them! Eavesdropping is wrong, so I don’t do that. It’s just that sometimes you’re too loud? Not specifically you! But more like Jae hyung and Wonpil hyung. You’re okay. You’re great. And uh, funny. And smart. And you’re really organized. I like all those post-it you keep on your cubicle. You even have a color code for them. It’s nice. You’re nice.”
When Dowoon stops talking, his face is so, so red.
Oh God—that’s been the most adorable rambling Younghyun has ever heard in his entire life. Is Dowoon being that cute in purpose? Is that his way of flirting with him?
Is he flirting with him?
He blinks again, “How do you know about my post-it color code?”
Dowoon finally looks back at him. He’s frowning, “You told me about it when we worked together? You don’t remember it?”
“My memories from those weeks are kind of blurry” Younghyun admits. He isn’t lying—during all those weeks he had been far too worried of not acting like an idiot in front of Dowoon and focusing on the project.
Dowoon seems to catch what he means with that anyways. The tips of his ears are red again.
“So, uh. I have to go back to my office” he awkwardly and cutely points at his back, in the stairs direction. “But let’s really go on that date, okay? If you are scared of texting me first too, I guess I can do it if you want to.”
“No!” Younghyun blurts out quickly, embarrassed, excited. “I will text you! I promise!”
Dowoon smiles and he then says goodbye to him and Haeun. He’s already given some steps towards where the stairs are when he turns back.
“And uh, Younghyun hyung” the mentioned raised his head. Even if Dowoon is not as close as he was before, he can notice how his cheeks are tinged in pink. Cute “I know that you’re sort of one of the favorites of Mr. Go because you’re really good at writing and that you said you didn’t accept any complains of that email, but can I say something?” Younghyun nods, confused. “It’s the strangest way I’ve ever been asked out. I liked it a lot” oh, so he didn’t imagine it was an accident. Younghyun feels slightly guilty because of that, but whatever—he’ll have plenty of time to clarify everything during their date. “But you should have also said something about you. A couple is made of two, right? And you barely talked about you. There are a lot of good things to say about you.”
Dowoon leaves after that. He leaves, and Younghyun is partially sure that each of his coherent thoughts left with him because his mind is all blank, only with one occasional sentence coming up: he’s going out on a date with Dowoon—Yoon fucking perfect Dowoon.
“Did that really happen?” he asks Haeun. He needs to double check if that wasn’t part of a dream and all his hopes in fact are with Jae and Wonpil and whichever it’s their plan.
Haeun chuckles a fourth time, “I think he likes you, oppa!”
Younghyun smiles, “Yoon Dowoon likes me back” the smile disappears in a second from his face, being replaced by a frown, “Oh my God, Yoon Dowoon likes me back and we’re going on a date together.”
He starts walking to the stairs too. More like running.
“Oppa!” Haeun calls him. “Aren’t you going to wait for Mr. Go? He won’t take that long!”
“I need to plan a date!” Younghyun only belts.
And Haeun chuckles a fifth time, “Of course you do.”
It’s been exactly an hour and fifty nine minutes when:
“Younghyun-ah” Sungjin’s standing next to his cubicle with a grimace on his face, interrupting Jae’s complains about how his plan with Wonpil had been a disaster and how they’re now both banned of going to the design department, “Mr. Go wants to have a word with you” Sungjin says, “He asked me to also tell you that he’s happy that you consider all the team as your dearest colleagues, so you know what he wants to talk about.”
Younghyun sighs as he stands up from his desk. Now he has to convince Mr. Go not to fire him because if he does, how is he even going to follow the budget he already determined for his date with Dowoon?
Kill him.