Chapter Text
Desire.
It was a terribly good thing, but a terribly dangerous thing at the same time.
Faye had things she desired in life: A win, her past, a place to belong.
Spike had his own: A dream, a woman, death even?
Though, that was supposed to be in another lifetime.
And sometimes Desire could be found in the most unlikely places…like each other.
It wasn't love, at least no one would say it was. It was something only they knew, but something they couldn't quite comprehend either.
And they were okay with that.
Why bother asking the difficult question? Seeking the difficult answer? Feeling the difficult feeling?
It was so much easier just to be. Be alive, be desired, be comforted.
The comfort of a friend who could play the part of a lover. A friend who possibly understood. This way you don't get burned by the ugly flame desire can ignite. This way you have an excuse to walk away.
They were friends. Friends there to help each other for a time…and maybe another in the future.
Two souls seeking something in each other, but never able to fully grab hold of it.
And whiskey was a bitch.
It only added fuel to the fire as whiskey tends to do. It only made them sloppy…and almost happy…but more than anything, sloppy.
…
~Trimester 1~
It was nearing 3am, but it had been dark all day as the crew soared through space, back to Mars. They finished bagging a decent reward on a bounty head from Europa. It was time to re-stock, re-fuel, and prep for another. Jet claimed he already had a lead on someone new, but he was still checking with his sources. Someone on Mars, quick and easy.
The team was in good spirits, there was money, food, and hope for a repeat. Faye however was in her own little bubble with her own little worries.
No. Big worries.
She hadn't been seen much that day and chose to keep it that way.
She had known fear.
When she met Vicious, she didn't think anything could top the fear she felt at that moment. Then Spike left and returned, suddenly the fear of Vicious seemed so small as her and Jet watched his life slowly slip away. It was only by a miracle that he was standing and breathing in the present.
But now, now she knew it would be hard to beat the fear she felt in that very moment as she clung tightly to the little home pregnancy test in her hands.
All she could do was stare. Stare at the green blinking light that read,
Pregnant.
She almost wanted to throw the damn thing. It felt as if the words were being shouted at her. Over and over again. She really wished the light would stop blinking. It didn't help that she had five others lined up to the side of her, all blinking green and one of them pink. It was a different brand.
5 weeks. 1 baby.
That's what the test said.
After so long, she let go, it landed on the floor and her head fell into her vacant hands. She wanted to scream, cry, laugh, something. But she just stared on beyond her fingers.
Pregnant.
Faye Valentine was pregnant.
With Spike Spiegel's baby.
-The Baby Diaries-