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Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of too many war wounds and not enough wars , Part 5 of we live through scars this time
Stats:
Published:
2014-10-23
Completed:
2015-03-30
Words:
225,298
Chapters:
152/152
Comments:
2,593
Kudos:
1,077
Bookmarks:
109
Hits:
36,377

Maelstrom

Summary:

'Cause I feel so damn lost,
And it comes with a cost of being alone.
Everything is falling down.
We're suffering, helpless thoughts and,
Out we sing, prayers go to the sky,
And if the earth ends up crumbling down to its knees, baby,
We just gotta get out. 

'Ashton let the fog roll over him as he stopped feeling again, because feeling wasn’t necessary for this. Ashton simply became beating heart and electric nerves and outstretched hands.
It didn’t matter that he was empty inside.’
 
Ashton is struggling, Luke is hiding, and Michael and Calum just want to make things work. (And maybe Ashton and Luke fall in love too. Maybe.)

Notes:

because Marlon deserves this more than anything and she's my Luke and I love her <3

I've been listening to "Gotta Get Out" too much lately I think... but whatever! I really hope you guys will enjoy this fic!

You can follow me on Tumblr here: merlypops.tumblr.com
You can follow my Weheartit profile - there are some collections related to my story! - here: http://m.weheartit.com/merlypops
You can listen to my Maelstrom playlist on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/user/merlypops/playlist/2XX7eyE4qk5yWkoM21mc66

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Thought Alike

Summary:

'He just felt shitty because he didn’t feel like crap, almost guilty for not feeling depressed.'

Chapter Text

Tell you the truth I hate,

What didn't kill me,

It never made me stronger at all.

- Drunk, Ed Sheeran

 

Ashton was done with it, honestly.

He’d woken up without the urge to cut for once and, sure, for most people, that’d probably be a great thing but not for him. He just felt shitty because he didn’t feel like crap, almost guilty for not feeling depressed.

Ashton wasn’t stupid – despite what his teachers thought – and he knew it was fucked up.

Unfortunately, that didn’t make a great amount of difference when every negative and positive thought alike was whirling around inside his head like a maelstrom, the positive thoughts bright bolts of lightning in a stormy sky.

Ashton wondered when it would end.