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“Will you sing it to me?” Chloe asked smiling widely. She knew her best friend/ foster sibling would put up a fight but ultimately would cave in. “Dude, no!” Beca had shouted back “ it’s a working progress and kinda personal” she had continued saying slightly freaking out at e mere thought of playing it in front of chloe. She knew that if playing this song, Chloe would know how she truly felt and she was t ready for that. Not now. And quite honestly their whole current relationship was complicated.
Beca has been living with the Beales for the past 9 years. Ever since she was 10. But Chloe had been her best friend three years prior to that. When her parents divorced her mom got full custody over her and becas dad had walked away completely. So when her mom died from a car accident, she had nowhere to go. She was hopeful that maybe her dad would take her in. She felt stupid for getting her hopes up.
When the beales had found out they brought her in and raised her as their own along side Chloe. Looking back on the last thirteen years with the bubbly ginger by her side, she felt truly grateful.
“Beca I took this class last year and I know you’re going to have to sing it in front of the class. Why not just get some practice in with me?” Chloe questioned. Growing up with Beca, she had learned everything about her. There was no personal space to be had. They had shared a room for 5 years until her parents found out that Beca was gay. Though supportive and understanding they felt it was only fair to split the girls up into two separate rooms.
“I know I have to sing it In front of the class, but I won’t have to see them after it’s over with and their thoughts and opinions don’t matter to me” Beca responded. Chloe wondered if that meant the song was about her. Why would Beca care about her opinion on a song she wrote if it wasn’t about her? And what could the song be about?
Chloe decided to put the whole thing on the shelf and call it a night. As much as she wanted to hear this song and as much as she knew it was going to happen sooner or later, she didn’t want to force Beca in any way.
She could hear Beca humming quietly in the next room over that night followed by a long sigh. She knew something was up with her. She wanted to press Beca on the issues but Chloe knew it did no good. When they were younger Beca had it in her mind that she was an orphan. Even though the Beales called Beca their own, raised her, fed her , and everything else that comes with the territory of being a parent. They treated her no different than Chloe. Chloe would find her in their shared bathrooms at night some times crying about it. How her mom died and how her dad didn’t want her. Chloe would just hold her and tell how much she loves her and wants her in her life. Little did Chloe know that it was these small moments of affection that made the small brunettes heart swell.
It really was an issue. Becca knew she couldn’t have feelings for Chloe. Chloe and her grew up together in the same house. Chloe would call Becca her sister and no one wants to think about their sister in a romantic way. Beca would join in on family gatherings and family portraits and her school pictures would be up on the mantle right besides Chloes. Becca couldn’t have these feelings towards the red head. And if Chloe only really knew how she felt, she was sure she’d lose the last bit of a real family that she had.
Chloe would hear little snippets of the song throughout the following week. Honestly it was a beautiful melody that she could hear Beca playing on her keyboard in the room. The ginger thought it was peaceful and would find herself humming along. It just made her want to hear it even more.
One night while Beca was playing in her room she heard a light knock at her door. “ Beca I know you don’t want me to hear the vocals, but will you play it on the piano for me?” Chloe had asked hopeful the other girl would agree. “Um sure. I think I could do that. “Beca responded repositioning herself at the keyboard. Chloe had watched as becas fingers worked the keys almost perfectly. She knew the girl could play. She’s heard her multiple times in the past, but she’s never watched. To Chloe it felt almost intimate watching the brunette play such beautiful notes. She couldn’t stop staring at her hands watching them go up and down the keys. In all honesty it was doing something to her. Upon realizing this she shot up, eyes wide open stating she had to go before Beca could even finish the song.
After that she didn’t hear much of Beca playing anymore. Not late at night, not during the day, not ever. Chloe had ultimately missed the sounds of music coming from the brunettes room. Until one day she heard it again.
Beca had stayed home claiming not to feel well. The Beales letting her stay home was nothing new. Chloe can recall a time a few years ago when they were both sixteen and had gotten drunk for the first time while the parents were out of town. Beca had managed to get ahold of some fake ids to buy alcohol for her and Chloe. “Dude! You know what would be a great idea?” Beca had asked enthusiastically drunk. Chloe had given her a look saying to go on “ what if we got tattoos of each other name but let’s make it look really nice and have them our signature!” Somehow Chloe had agreed to it and on each other’s foot was each other signatures. Beca was a baby about it so come Monday she cried about how she was in pain and the Beales said she could stay home.
So there Chloe was thinking about the memory as she walked in the front door. Her last class canceled for the day and she wasn’t prepared when she heard Beca start to play her song with the lyrics involved. She knew she shouldn’t listen in, but this has been something Chloe had been curious about for weeks knowing it was somehow about her.
You say that You love me, don't say that You love me
'Cause I don't know how to be Yours
You say that You want me, don't say that You want me
'Cause I don't know how to be Yours
I still act like an orphan I guess
And my hard heart breaks to confess
That even while You hold me
As I cry on the floor
I still don't know how to be Yours
Chloe thought hard. Was this song really about her? It couldn’t be. Surely it must be about someone else Chloe thought as she continued to listen in on the other girl.
So love Me or hate Me
I'm not going anywhere
Leave Me or take Me
You still bear My signature
Know Me or not
Seen or forgot
I'm not walking out on you
Chloe let out a quiet gasp as she heard the next set of the lyrics. Looking down at her now bare feet she saw becas beautiful signature. This was about her.
You say that You love me, please mean that You love me
'Cause I really want to be Yours
You say that You want me, please mean that You want me
'Cause I really want to be Yours
As Beca finished the song Chloe had silent tears running down her face. Beca had feelings for the redhead and Chloe honestly had no idea what to do about the new information. “I know you’re there Chloe. We’ve lived together for nine years. I think I would know how heavy footed you are when you walk” Beca said still facing away from Chloe. Chloe didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. She’s rarely ever given a thought about Beca in a romantic way. Yeah they have always been close. Closer than most friends should be, but she just thought it was because they were practically sisters. But Chloe knew deep down that they weren’t. There’s no shared blood that runs through their veins. The two girls came from different families and unfortunate circumstances brought them together under one roof.
Chloe made her way over to the bed and sat down. “ why have you never said anything Becs? We share everything together. You could have told me you know?” Chloe was now rubbing her face still thinking about everything. Beca sat not saying a word. How could she? “Look Chlo...” Beca was interrupted by hands pulling her face towards Chloe and lips pressed against hers.
They kissed gently for what felt like forever. Lost in a daze, they had no idea of anything going on around them. It was just the two of them in this moment. The kiss at a pause, now laying on the bed, Beca looked into chloes blue eyes felling for the first time she was actually home. “ Chloe. I’ve loved you since the moment I first met you. I was just a scrappy little seven year old and you were rainbows and sunshine.” Chloe listened staring back at Beca. “ when my mom died and my dad said he had his own family to take care of, I was afraid of going into the system. I had no family “ Beca said looking down at her hands which were now laced with chloes. “ your parents took me in. You know they had asked me if I wanted to become a Beale? They were ready to adopt me and make it official.” Chloe looked shocked. She never knew this information. Why hadn’t anyone told her? “I told them that the only way I’d become a Beale is if one day I got to marry you. That was also the day they found out I was gay.” That was 4 years ago Chloe thought.
“Beca. You’re my best friend. I may not be on your level, but I know that I can be in time.” Beca pulled her into another kiss. A bit deeper than the one before, but still pretty innocent to what they both wanted.
Before anything got too heated Chloe pulled away “wait you said you wanted to marry me? What did my parents say?”
Beca kinda just laughed at the thought. Chloes parents while not entirely thrilled about the whole thing since they were raising Beca, they also knew that the two would somehow get there on their own.
“ your mom told me that you were gay for me even though you didn’t know it yet. Which is also why they split us up. They didn’t want any hanky panky going on”. Mortified Chloe covered her face at the thought of 15 year old theme awkwardly trying to get in on.
“You know, you’ve always been mine and I’ve always been yours right? Chloe had asked. Beca nodded. “I knew that for a long time. I was just waiting for you to catch up.” Beca says quietly leaning in for another chaste kiss.
Snuggled up in bed together, Chloe softly snoring Beca didn’t feel like she was alone in the world. She didn’t feel like she was an orphan anymore. Chloes arms wrapped around her, Beca finally felt like she was home.