Chapter Text
It’s hot, like dripping with sweat even though a fan is blowing right at you, hot. I pile my hair up on my head, sighing in relief. I lean back onto the chair, that’s already reheated from the sun. It burns my bareback, but it’s also sort of comforting. I place my hand on my cheek, and it gives me some relief because my hand is cold from my drink.
“This is terrible” I groan loudly, the coolness of my hand long gone.
“It’s called a heatwave for a reason Kie” JJ mocks, a teasing grin on his face.
“Really JJ I didn’t know that” I glare at him, he chuckles.
“Just imagine yourself in a walk-in fridge” Sarah smiles widely her eyes shut.
“That works?” I huff, she shrugs.
“It’s nice to dream” she responds making me let out a short laugh.
“Where is John B with the ice?” I ask looking behind me like he might magically appear.
“Probably enjoying the air conditioning of the store” Pope replies, making JJ laugh. I suddenly notice that he’s fully clothed. His shirt is still on, and that’s especially confusing for him because he’s always half-naked.
“Why don’t you take your shirt off?” I blurt suspiciously. He turns, smirking, but I notice it’s more dull than usual.
“If you wanted to see me naked you could just ask me, I’d be happy to oblige” he winks and I roll my eyes.
“I’m sure you would” I comment, and a shit-eating grin replaces his smirk. I look away but I still have a weird feeling about the situation. He stands quickly, running a hand through his mop of hair.
“I’m settling for a warm beer,” he says before he starts towards the house. I look over at Pope, who’s eyes are glued to a book, oblivious. I move my gaze to Sarah, who’s smiling widely at her phone, oblivious as well.
“I’m gonna go to the washroom” I comment standing, Sarah nods. I find JJ in the kitchen rummaging through the empty fridge. He turns when he hears the screen door shut.
“No beer” he points to the fridge, a weird look on his face. I move to the small island nodding. He shuts the fridge before leaning back against it.
“You wanted to get me alone right” he winks but it comes out flat and forced.
“Yes, you know how obsessed I am with you” I respond curtly, he lets out an airy laugh. I start towards him, and his eyes bulge slightly. I stand so close, I can feel the heat radiating off of him. His tongue darts out to lick his lips, his eyes on mine. I reach out gripping the hem of his shirt, our eyes never leaving each other. I start pulling it upward, and I can feel the heat of his skin against my knuckles, it makes me suck in a sharp breath. As if something clicked his hands are on mine stilling my motions.
“Don’t” he stammers, his cheeks pink.
“Let me see” I whisper, my eyes softening “please” I add. His breathing quickens, and then he drops his hands and I continue to pull his shirt up. I finally move my eyes down towards his defined chest. A small gasp escapes my lips, as I notice the dark purple bruise across his ribs. It blooms upwards, a stark contrast from his tanned skin. I feel like my heart is being squeezed tightly, making it hard to take a full breath. I move my finger from gripping his shirt to lightly tracing the bruise. I can feel him wince at the contact so I quickly pull away.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he says, his voice tight. I pull down his shirt starting to feel nauseous at the thought of how this happened. I move my gaze back up to his, and his eyes are unbearable soft. It breaks something inside of me. I don’t know what comes over me but I find myself gripping his face in my hands and pulling his soft lips to mine. He doesn’t move at first obviously shocked at my bold move, but then he’s circling my waist and pulling me flush against his chest. The kiss turns frenzied and sloppy, like we can’t get close enough, or deep enough. My hands wander up into his hair, and I rake my nails across his scalp lightly. I feel myself tugging on the strands, he lets out a strangled moan, which makes heat coil through me. We break apart, our breaths rapid and hot. I keep my eyes shut, trying to regain some composure. I let my hands drop to his shoulder, gripping the material of his shirt. He leans in, his lips grazing mine, feather-light. My tongue darts out licking my swollen lips, and catching his as well. His fingers dig deliciously into my hips, causing heat to diffuse over me. Finally, I open my eyes, and I find his staring back at me. He looks confused, but the heat in his eyes reassures me that he felt it too. I shift onto my tiptoes and press a soft chaste kiss to his lips before I pull away from him completely. He continues to stare at me confused, as I run a steadying hand through my curls.
“Beers here” I hear John B’s voice, and I use it as an excuse to run out of the kitchen. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the heat in my cheek.
“Took you long enough” I hear JJ say behind me, I freeze. He walks past me, his shoulder brushing mine, and towards John B.
“Ya, kind of got lost” John B laughs as JJ grabs a case from his hands.
“Lost in the air-conditioning?” Pope puts his book down, an amused smile on his face. At the mention of heat, I suddenly feel the hot sun stick to my skin. The rays radiating over me, making sweat pool at every crevice. I notice Sarah’s eyes catch mine, and she gives me a confused look. I notice now that I’m about ten feet away from everyone, standing frozen in spot. I shake off the heat and start towards them in desperate need of something refreshing.
…
I kissed JJ. I, kissed, him! My heart hammers loudly as I pace the small expanse of my room. Back and forth, back and forth. The pressure of his lips still rings out on my lips. I shut my eyes, a tingle floating through me. The kiss was good, more than good, transcending. Dramatic but fitting. I move my pointer finger up to my lips, pressing lightly. The tinge burst through me again, making me let out a small guttural sigh. I shake the feeling off and continue pacing my room. I tire myself out and plop onto my bed, staring off at the window. The bruise on his ribs comes to mind, and the tingling is replaced with repulsion towards his father. He looks so soft in that moment like a small frightened kid. The urge to kiss away his pain came so naturally it kind of scared me. This kiss wasn’t a pity kiss, or a comforting kiss like with John B. It felt different, like more of a promise. Promise of what, I don’t know. I move my knees up to my chest, hugging them tightly. The feeling of his fingers digging into my hips makes me blush and my heart stammers. This kiss was definitely more than I had with John B. It was my choice first off, and it wasn’t trying to prove anything or to comfort him. It was just as much for me as for him. Maybe more for me than him. I move my chin to my knee, sighing loudly at the thousands of thoughts running around in my head. I hear a knock at the door, and I feel the wicked thoughts of doing more with JJ dissipate.
“Come in,” I say not moving from my bed, just tilting my head to look at the door. Sarah walks in, a wide smile on her face.
“Hey, I came to get ready for tonight” She plops down a big overnight bag on the floor, huffing slightly.
“Tonight?” I ask blanking on what was happening, her smile drops.
“Tonight the party John B and I are hosting” She explains in a duh tone.
“Oh, your couple party” I nod, she sighs moving to sit next to me. “It’s not a couple party, it’s just something we did together” She smiles blissfully. “As a couple” I reiterate, and she sighs but her smile doesn’t drop.
“Fuck you” She nudges me, a giggle bursting out of her. I move my gaze back to the window, feeling my lips tingle lightly. “What’s wrong?” She asks
“Nothing, just tired” I lie, my heart hammering.
“Tired?” She asks, I nod nonchalantly. “Kie” She urges
“It’s nothing, come on let’s get ready” I stand plastering a smile onto my face. It doesn’t look like she believes me but she nods and moves to her giant bag.
“So I brought options” She laughs starting to pull out clothes.
…
The parties pretty packed by the time I get there. Sarah left right after getting ready. She wanted to set up with John B. I think they probably just wanted to make out in peace. I make my way to the back, pushing through groups of rowdy teenagers. I notice the small fire, with people laughing around it. My eyes travel over trying to find anyone of the Pogues. Finally I spot Pope, he’s by himself against a tree, sipping from a plastic cup.
“Pope, what have I told you about plastic cups” I start, he chuckles and shrugs.
“I’ll recycle it” He responds, and honestly I don’t have it in me to remind him of all the harmful effects of plastic. I move to lean against the tree beside him.
“Where is everyone?” I ask my eyes moving across the yard.
“Socializing,” He remarks sounding less than enthused at the idea.
“Fun” I laugh. My eyes land on a familiar mop of blonde hair, and I freeze. He’s talking to some Touron, who’s laughing widely as he explains something in probably tantalizing detail. She arches into him, and I hate the surge of jealously that course through me. He smiles at her, and anger surges through me.
“He’s been a hit tonight,” Pope says, and I move my gaze away from the pair to him. He’s looking straight ahead at JJ. “JJ, I mean” He explains
“He’s always a hit” I blurt, he turns to me a gentle look on his face.
“What do you think it is about him?” Pope asks, his smile turning shy. I could tell he was asking because he was comparing himself.
“You shouldn’t do that” I muster, he looks confused “Compare yourself, JJ’s awesome, he’s kind and hilarious and ya good looking but so are you. You just go about it differently, he’s more outwards with his confidence” I explain, my eyes on his, I notice him gulp lightly his eyes moving to my lips. The air between us seems to shift, and I quickly look away not wanting to give him the wrong idea.
“You think we’re good-looking” He laughs, his cheeks pink
“Yes and you all know that” I respond shoving him lightly. He chuckles and nods.
“Wonder how you get that confident” He muses lightly. My gaze moves back to JJ and the Touron, and I shrug. “Sometimes I think he’s just trying to make himself feel confident, you know with all these girls. It makes him feel something other than all that shit with his dad” Is what I wanted to say that but it felt too personal like I was giving up a secret about him. So instead I just shrug. JJ stands turning in our direction, his eyes finding mine. He says something to the girl without looking back at her, his eyes still on mine. Then he’s walking towards us, a beer in hand. That signature JJ smile is glued to his face, his eyes are saying something different, something he’d never admit.
“When did you get here?” He asks sipping his beer.
“Couple minutes ago” I respond, my voice light. He nods turning to Pope his smile amused.
“That girl I was just talking to, she’s totally into you,” JJ says, and my eyes widen.
“What?” Pope asks, his cheeks flushed.
“She was asking about you, and I was being the best wingman, talking you up, so I set it up, go talk to her” He pushes pope slightly in her direction. Pope looks flustered. “Dude” He retorts, and JJ shrugs sipping his beer.
“Her names Amanda, no Annie, Annie, and she’s visiting from Texas” he winks, and I try not to groan out loud. “Also no talk about dead bodies” He adds a grossed out look on his face.
“Cadavers” Pope correct making me smile.
“Whatever, go” he shoves him again, and Pope turns to me a panicked look on his face, I nod urging him on. He walks over to her slowly, you could see the nerves from here.
“Annie from Texas,” I say, and JJ nods staring after Pope. Pope sticks out his hand in a formal greeting, his face stony, and nervous. She looks over at us, her eyes on JJ before quickly looking away. Pope sits down next to her, and her wide over the top smile falls slightly.
“She wasn’t asking for him was she?” I ask, noticing her gaze move once again to JJ.
“Sure she was” JJ responds, and I smile despite being annoyed.
“You could never lie to me,” I remark confidently, he turns to me then his eyes intense.
“She wasn’t my type and I know Pope has… confidence issues so” he brushes it off, and I nod.
“awfully nice of you Maybank” I smile, feeling the thud of my heart speed up.
“Kinda selfish really” he whispers, his eyes once again on my lips.
“Why?” I ask, my voice, airy. He shifts so his body is now facing mine, his shoulder against the tree.
“I really wanted to be alone with you” He smirks, and I feel the heat in my cheeks. JJ always flirted it was part of his charm, but it felt different now, loaded.
“Alone in a party of people?” I laugh, turning back to Pope and Annie. My skin felt too hot, and my breathing was coming out too fast.
“I thought you always said single-use plastic was terrible for the environment,” He says, and my gaze springs back to him confused. Then I realized I picked up a discarded solo cup. I stare at the red plastic in my hands and smile.
“I found it here so I thought I’d pick it up before the wind pulled it into the water” I explain, and he nods. I notice he’s drinking from a glass bottle. He always drinks from glass. Probably because of the time I made a PowerPoint about single-use plastic, and how it’s harming sea animals. “So you actually know how to listen” I tease smiling. His eyes swirl, and I feel something coil tightly in my stomach.
“Only to you I guess” he shrugs, his face stony almost too serious. I should look away to break the moment, but I can tear my eyes away. Suddenly I remember this afternoon, and my lips tingle so much so I move my hand up to touch them. He notices, and his eyes darken noticeably, making me shiver, despite the warm night. I inch closer, more like shift it’s so small but I can tell he notices. His hand that’s not holding his drink reaches up, gently grazing my fingers. He’s moving slowly, cautious of spooking me I assume. I move my eyes down to out connected fingers, and I feel a pang shoot through me. I should ask what he’s doing, but I’m too afraid he might stop. His fingers move from my fingers to my wrist, sending pinpricks of heat over me. His touch is gentle and feather-light. He continues ghosting up my arm, the heat trailing behind him. I shift again, my head leaning against the hard tree. He smiles, a small happy smile. I feel like I might explode if I don’t get to taste him again, it’s a crazed feeling, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
“Inside?” I whimper so quietly, I don’t know if he heard me. But he did, he takes my hand and intertwines out fingers pulling me through the crowd. We quickly duck behind Pope who’s still chatting with Annie. I don’t see John B or Sarah, and I’m thankful because all I can think of right now is getting to kiss JJ again. Some guys try to stop him, begging him to join the beer-pong game, but he makes an easy excuse, with an easy smile. He pulls me into his darkroom, the room that he’s had at John B’s since he was thirteen. He shuts the door and I don’t think I’ve experienced a better sound. Before I know it his lips are on mine and his hands are roaming frantically over me. I move my hands up to his hair, relishing in the soft strands. He moves backward until I feel the bed behind my knees. I move my hands down to his chest, under his shirt. His skin is warm and soft, but hard, and tight. He breaks away and I let out a tiny yelp of disagreement. I can hear the chuckle he lets out but I can’t seem to care. “I want you to be sure” He whispers against my lips, so softly it makes me shut my eyes and suck in a shaky breath.
“I’m sure” I nod before pulling him back to me, my hands back under his shirt. I move to peel it off, and he breaks away just enough for me to tug it off. I let out a small giggle as his lips move to my neck and collarbone.
“You smell so good” He comments, his voice strangled.
“It’s sunscreen, reef safe” I mumble, my lips squished against his neck now. I can feel the vibration of his chuckle and it only urges me on. He pushes me back, and we both bounce onto the bed. I giggle, feeling giddy. The lights outside gives us enough light to be able to see each other, and I’m so thankful because his eyes are so dark and filled with lust, it makes me moan. I pull him back down to me, grinding myself into him for some relief. He pulls away and I can feel his hands under my shirt, I nod eagerly as he pulls it off me. He quickly attaches out lips. I feel his hands slip under me, working to unclasp my bra. The click is quick and then he slowly peels it away. He breaks away again, this time his eyes moving down to my exposed chest. I arch into him, and he lets out a low moan, making heat spread over me.
“Like what you see?” I smirk, feeling the spike of confidence from the way his eyes trace over me. He looks up, and he looks wrecked, like it’s hard for him to catch his breath.
“More than you know” He mumbles and before he can attack my lips I flip us so that I’m straddling his hips. His eyes go wide, as I grind down into him. I move my curls so they don’t fall between us.
“Fuck Kie” He whispers, his voice hoarse. I smirk and move down to capture his swollen lips. His hand moves up my ribs and over my nipple sending goosebumps over me.
“JJ” I whimper
“What do you need Kie, tell me what you want” He whispers, as his fingers continue to trail over my chest. Fuck what didn’t I want him to do. My eyes connected with his, and I was met with an awe-struck expression. No one has ever looked at me like before. I move down catching his lips with mine, my hands flat on his chest, as I lull back and forth. My hand slips, and I feel him wince slightly. I pull away to make sure he’s okay. And that’s when I remember the bruise.
“Sorry” I mumble, he shakes his head. I try to pull off of him “We should switch positions” I explain, he grabs my hips tightly keeping me in place.
“I want to see you ride me Kie” His voice is rough and low, and it makes heat pool at my core. “Trust me” He adds. I nod and he leans up placing his lips against mine.