Archive of Our Own

Nick hops out of the back of the cab and he’s so engrossed in scrolling through Instagram he’s almost to his door when he notices Louis sitting on his steps. He’s in all black, and his hair is slicked back and perfect; Nick thinks he must have just come from an interview. He looks so utterly like Louis Tomlinson, Nick can’t believe his flat isn’t crawling with paps and teen girls. Nick stops dead in his tracks. He can’t think of anything to say. He’s spent a month imaging every imaginable scenario, but now that Louis is in front of him, he’s at a complete loss.

Louis speaks first, his voice soft, but cold. “Did you mean what you said?”

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific, love. I sort of say things for a living.” Nick has no idea what he’s on about, but bantering with Louis has always come as easy as breathing.

“Did you mean what you said today about no one ever offering you commitment?” Louis is looking at him icily, making no move to stand.

“Aw, peanut, were you listening?” That gets Louis moving. He stands and moves into Nick’s space accusingly. “Do not be cheeky with me, Nicholas. Were you taking the piss or did you mean what you said?”

Now that Louis is so close to him, Nick just wants to reach out and run his fingers down his side. It’s been so long since he’s been able to touch him. He’s also furious. What right does Louis have to come to him after all this time and rub Nick’s nose in his failings? “I can’t imagine what difference it makes to you, but yes, I meant it.”

Louis let’s out a surprised little, “Oh,” and deflates. Without the backing of his indignation he looks so small. His eyes are wide and look wet, but Nick thinks that must be a trick of the light. “Right. Of course. Well, I guess I’ll just be off.” Louis pushes by him, pausing for a moment to look up at him, blinking slowly. Nick thinks he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t. He just keeps walking.

It knocks the air out of Nick’s chest and he’s rooted to the spot as Louis crosses the street and climbs into the back of a black SUV Nick hadn’t noticed idling there. He stands on the street staring at the spot the SUV has just vacated until he realizes what he must look like and heads inside.

Nick slams around his kitchen for a few minutes, opening cabinets and staring at the contents before huffing his dissatisfaction and shutting them roughly. He feeds Pig and lets her run around in the garden for a bit. The sun is bright on his skin and he curses London for so utterly failing to match his mood today of all days.

He has no idea how he got here.

One Direction’s just finished their second world tour and Nick is milling around the welcome home party thrown by their label. He hasn’t even seen Harry yet, and he’s starting to wonder if he’s actually going to show up. He’s giggling with Cara by the sushi bar when he feels the energy in the room change suggesting the boys have arrived. Sure enough, Liam, Niall and Harry have entered and are being besieged by well wishers. A few minutes later Harry sashays over to Nick and wraps him up in a hug.

“Thanks for coming, Grimmy!” He smiles, wide and sincere. Nick wants to rib him a bit, but he’s distracted by Zayn and Louis who’ve just snuck in through a side door and are smiling politely at people while making a beeline for the carving station. Instead of teasing, Nick just says, “I’m proud of you, Hazza.”

Harry looks so genuinely thrilled Nick’s heart clenches a bit. He’s saved from the overwhelming urge to hug him again by one of Harry’s publicists, who subtly gestures at something which clearly means something to Harry, who kisses Cara on the cheek and heads across the room.

An hour later Nick is bored. He’s chatted with a few friends, but there are just enough music executives at the party to suck all the fun out of the room. He has work in the morning, so heading home now wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, he thinks as he heads to the loo. He must take a wrong turn, because he ends up in a deserted hallway that’s much too antiseptic to be celebrity facing. He sees a loo here and figures there’s no use in not using it.

He bangs the door open and lets out a slightly undignified yelp at Louis Tomlinson, who is sitting on the counter, feet tucked under his knees, leaning against the mirror. Louis looks at him appraisingly, “Hi Nicholas, did someone send you to find me?”

“Alas, darling, the only thing I’m looking for is the toilet.” Nick leans toward him gleefully, “Louis Tomlinson, are you hiding?”

Louis rolls his eyes and huffs, “No, I’m not hiding.” He squirms a bit, his tiny fingers tapping against his knees. “I just needed a minute.”

“A minute. Absolutely. How long’ve you been in here then?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been in here for around fifteen.”

“Fifteen minutes? Such a naughty pop star!”

“Shut up,” Louis says. “What are you even doing here? There’s not a Diesel model following you at a discreet distance is there?”

“Alas, tiny Tomlinson, there are no models at this party.” Nick sighs dramatically. “Maybe you could speak to someone about it?”

“Yes, absolutely. Any other feedback you’d like to pass on?”

“Thanks, love.” Nick smiles. “Maybe you could let them know one of their boy banders is very pretty, but very rude.”

Louis hops off the counter at that and snaps his arms across his chest. “Why are you even here, Grimshaw. Isn’t it after your bedtime? Still hoping to get papped?”

“You wound me, poppet.” Nick takes one step towards Louis, who juts out his chin at him. He always looks so unimpressed and smug when he’s talking to Nick and Nick just wants to wipe the smirk off his face. He keeps walking toward Louis until he’s almost in his space and he has to tilt his head back to look at Nick. He’s back up against the counter now, but he looks just as defiant and disaffected as always, so Nick takes one more step. He’s standing right in front of Louis, close enough to feel him holding his breath.

The problem is now that he’s here he doesn’t know what to do. Louis is looking up at him with his eyebrows raised and Nick really had not thought this through. Louis opens his mouth to say something and Nick just knows it will be something sarcastic and rude, so he does the only thing he can think to in that moment, which is to kiss him.

There’s a moment, right when Nick first kisses Louis, where his brain kind of short circuits. His lips are pressed softly against Louis’, but he’s not quite sure what to do with them. He’s about to pull back when Louis tugs on the front of Nick’s shirt and slips his tongue into his mouth.

They kiss desperately. Louis wraps his arms around Nick’s neck and buries his fingers in his hair. Nick slips his hands under the back of Louis’ shirt and presses his palms into his skin, marveling at how small he feels, Nick’s hands spanning almost the entire width of his back.

Eventually he moves his hands down to Louis’ bum and lingers there. He’s given a lot of thought to Louis Tomlinson’s bum over the last few years and he wants to make sure he takes the time to appreciate it. He must get a little distracted, because Louis makes a noise and pulls Nick’s bottom lip between his teeth. Nick grips Louis’ ass and hoists him up, so he’s sitting on the counter. Louis immediately wraps his legs around Nick’s hips and pulls him in.

Louis is making these amazing noises in the back of his throat and they’re going right to Nick’s dick. He’s pulling on Nick’s hair and gripping him tightly with his thighs like he can’t possibly get close enough. The angle isn’t great, but Nick can still feel Louis’ cock, hard and straining against his jeans. He moves his hips, thrusting forward slightly and Louis gasps. Nick opens his eyes and pulls back. Louis looks breathless, but his eyes are fiery and challenging. It’s a challenge Nick wants to answer. He’s not sure he even cares who wins.

“Grimshaw, you’re staring.” His voice sounds mischievous, like he’s inviting Nick to break the rules with him. Nick is a little taken aback by how beautiful his smile is up close. He’s seen this Louis before on stage and with the other boys, but Louis has never been playful with him. Even in the beginning, before he’d poked the dragon, there’d always been an edge to their banter. Nick has always raised Louis’ hackles even before he’d started doing it intentionally.

Nick makes a living always having something to say, but he’s just standing there, hands gripping Louis Tomlinson’s hips, mouth hanging open, unable to think of a single thing to say. Louis is looking at him like he’s just told a great joke and he’s waiting for Nick to laugh.

“Can’t believe this is all it takes to get you to shut your gob.” That makes Nick laugh. He bites his lip to stem the giggles that keep erupting from him. Louis looks enormously pleased and he leans forward and brushes his lips against Nick’s and whispers, “You should probably touch me now.”

Nick kisses him again and slides his hand across the front of Louis’ jeans, where his cock is straining against his outrageously tight jeans. He runs the backs of his fingers against the seam making Louis gasp and bite at his neck. Nick doesn’t waste any more time undoing Louis’ flies and getting him out. He’s already hard, his foreskin pulled taught. Nick rubs the pad of thumb up his length and swipes it across the slit. Louis lets out a soft whimper and hisses, “Get on with it.”

Nick laughs, but he does, wrapping his hand around Louis cock and pulling steadily. Louis’ mouth is right up against Nick’s ear and he’s whimpering and moaning quietly. Nick thinks they might be the most incredible sounds he’s ever heard. Soon they’re getting more desperate and Nick has just enough forethought to bring his other hand to save his shirt from ruin as Louis shudders and comes. He buries his face in Nick’s neck and takes a few deeps breaths before he starts laughing. He’s laughing a bit maniacally for Nick’s taste, who still has a handful of sperm and a giggly popstar wrapped around him like an octopus.

“If you’re quite finished. I’m about to wipe my hand straight down your back.”

“You’re such a sourpuss.” Louis rolls his eyes, but leans back and waves his hand in front of the dispenser and rips off a paper towel, tossing it airily in Nick’s direction and doing up his jeans. He waits for Nick to clean his hand and toss the paper in the bin before leaning in to kiss him again. It’s gentler this time around. Louis is soft and relaxed and Nick tugs him closer.

They both stiffen when they hear voices in the hallway. Louis twists away and hops off the counter. He takes a moment to adjust his hair before shrugging at Nick and slipping out the door. Just like that he’s gone and Nick leans against the counter and stares at his reflection in the mirror, wondering what the fuck just happened. He splashes some water on his face, runs his fingers through his hair and heads back out to the party, hoping Harry has already left, because he’s frankly not sure what he’ll say if he hasn’t.

Three weeks go by and Nick doesn’t hear from Louis. Not that he’s expecting him to pop round for tea, but he assumed he’d have gotten at least one text about how his voice is stupid or whether he ever hides trinkets in his quiff.

He has lunch with Harry and keeps expecting him to say something, but Harry just tells him about his new Soul Cycle instructor and shares ‘some thoughts he’s had about pandas.’ They sit in his garden, watching Pig run around for hours and Harry doesn’t bring up Louis once. It’s a lovely afternoon and eventually Nick stops waiting for the axe to fall.

The next week Nick hosts a last minute party at his flat. He’s having an amazing night; it’s a great party and since it’s his, he’s been the center of attention the entire night. He drank the lion’s share of the sparkling rose, danced with a bloke who he thinks does A&R for Sony and snogged Rita Ora a little in the kitchen. All in all it’s been fantastic. Almost enough to compensate for the presence of one Louis Tomlinson and his ridiculous little ankles.

Nick can’t even believe Louis is here. When Harry had asked if he could bring the boys Nick assumed he’d meant Niall or Liam. Never in a million years did he expect to open the door to his flat and see Louis bloody Tomlinson on the other side. Louis Tomlinson looking at him like he hadn’t snogged his face off in a toilet. It really was too much. And yet Nick persevered.

“Oh hello, Harry! I see you’ve brought a bonus pop star.” He said kissing Harry lightly on the cheek and keeping his tone light. “Hello Louis, you alright?”

Louis smirked evilly as he leaned his cheek towards Nick. “Thanks, Nicholas. It’s just so, so great being here with you!” Nick bristled, but Louis looked completely oblivious, scanning the room, before elbowing Harry and silently communicating something that had Harry scampering off after him.

Nick let them go. He loves Harry, but if he’s going to spend the night with Louis Tomlinson and his stupid mullet and ridiculous jeggings and obnoxiously perfect ass then he can bugger off. Nick has absolutely no need for pop stars who kiss him and get off with him and act like nothing’s happened.

But that was hours ago and Nick has barely seen Louis since then, much less kissed him or thought about murdering him. It’s half two and the party is still going, but it’s entered it’s final form, where people have cordoned themselves off in small groups scattered around his flat. He scrolls through instagram for a bit, sees his phone is dying and heads to his bedroom to plug it in.

He slips into his room, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Normally he makes sure his room is extra presentable when he has guests, but he’d procrastinated all day and by the time his laundry had finished he’d just had time to fold it before the booze was being delivered and his thoughts fully turned to the party. All that would be fine, but when he enters his room and crosses to the dresser to plug his phone in, he sees a boy sprawled across his bed, curling into his laundry like a cat.

He stops dead and takes a minute to just look. Louis’ body is twisted so his arse is hiked up in the air. Nick feels like a bit of a perv, but his bum is quite lovely and Nick’s nothing if not an aesthete. He clears his throat and crosses his arms, making sure he looks the part of put upon host. “Oh hello, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis shifts on the bed, but gives no indication he’s embarrassed to be found asleep on the bed of a person he barely tolerates.

“This is a bit Dickensian for someone who’s been featured in Forbes,” Nick says. Louis finally opens his eyes fully, only to give Nick a scathing once over and really this is his bedroom, he cannot believe Louis doesn’t recognize the power dynamics at work. It bothers Nick in a way that is so specific to Louis. He has no idea why he lets the little strumpet get to him like he does.

“Yes, hi Nicholas! Good party, yeah?” Louis says, snuggling further into Nick’s pile of jumpers. Nick makes a noise of complaint, but it only makes Louis smile and wiggle his hips.

“Yes, love, it was quite the event. Too bad you seem to have missed most of it.”

“Someone kept playing The Wanted.” Louis’ voice is low and slow with sleep. “You’re horrible, but they’re still the worst.”

Nick laughs at that, because Louis seems so legitimately put out he’s almost adorable. “I didn’t put them on the playlist, love. God knows who would.”

“Mmmm, likely story Grimshaw.” Louis holds out his hand and Nick reaches for it, thinking he’s looking for help sitting up. Instead he’s pulled forward, and lands with a thwump on the bed. He’s disoriented, but Louis is holding onto his wrist and his soft ministrations draw Nick toward him. He looks up and is surprised to see Louis staring back at him, eyes soft and calm.

“What’s this then?” Nick wants to laugh, but he’s a bit miffed. Louis is looking at him expectantly and he has no idea what to do. He wants to push off the bed and tell Louis off, but he’s just lying there, his breath labored, staring back at this ridiculous boy, who’s probably never been so quiet in his entire life.

“You want to kiss me.”

“I most certainly do not,” Nick scoffs, but makes no move to stand.

“Then why’d you get into bed with me?”

“This is my bed, love.” Nick says. He can’t figure out what’s happening. Louis’ absurdly blue eyes are as sharp and discerning as ever when they land on Nick, but there’s something about his mischievous smirk that makes Nick feels conspiratorial rather than combative.

“I was here first.” Louis sighs. His fingers are wrapped around Nick’s wrist and he’s rubbing tiny circles on it with his thumb. Nick is totally at a loss.

“I think maybe I,” Nick starts to say, just as Louis huffs, “Oh for the love,” and pushes forward to kiss him. Nick’s body reacts before his mind does and he immediately kisses him back, parting his lips and sliding his tongue along Louis’. His brain feels cloudy and he doesn’t really know what he’s doing here, but he wraps his hand around Louis’ neck and pulls him against his chest.

They kiss for a long time. It’s slow and steady and Nick gets lost in the sensation. He runs his fingers through the soft hair at the base of Louis’ neck, making him sigh into Nick’s mouth. Suddenly Louis jerks against him and their cocks rub against each other, hard and straining against their jeans. Louis whines in the back of his throat. Nick pulls back and he’s going to look at Louis, maybe ask what they’re doing, but he loses his nerve and instead kisses a line down Louis’ throat, sucking a mark into his soft tan skin.

He busies himself with that for a while, sucking at Louis’ skin, pulling at his earlobe with his teeth until Louis finally whispers, “Nick, please.”

“Please what, love?” Nick whispers directly into his ear. He feels Louis shudder at that, which makes him smile. This, being in control, making a boy fall apart under him, this he knows how to do. Louis breathes out, barely audible, “Please touch me.”

That stirs Nick into motion. He might never have imagined he’d be here, but now that he is he wants nothing more than to get Louis properly naked and watch him fall apart. He hauls him up the bed, knocking piles of clothes on the floor so that Louis is lying on the bedspread, chest heaving. Nick straddles his hips and pulls his own shirt over his head, before reaching down and pulling Louis’ off. He leans over him and kisses him again, running his hands up and down his sides. Louis feels so small, Nick’s hands fitting snugly around his ribs. He kisses Louis until he feels him wriggling impatiently underneath him.

Nick reaches down and undoes Louis’ flies, pulling his jeans and pants off in one go. He leans back on his feet and looks at Louis spread out on his bed, all tan skin and smooth edges. He’s so beautiful it knocks Nick still for a moment. His cock is flushed and hard against his belly and he’s looking at him expectantly. Nick is waiting for him to say something, but he doesn’t. He just stares at Nick, his hands by his side gripping the duvet in his fists.

Finally, Nick moves, pulling his jeans off and tossing them into the pile of clothes next to his bed. He climbs up the bed again, draping himself over Louis and kissing him filthily. He slots their hips together and drags their cocks against each other. Louis’ hips buck up into him, but Nick holds him down with one hand, soothing his thumb across Louis’ hip bone. Nick finally stops kissing him and buries his face in Louis’ neck, breathing raggedly into his shoulder.

Nick slides down Louis’ body slowly, pausing to suck his nipple into his mouth. Louis moans low and dirty and brings his hand up to Nick’s head, threading his fingers through his hair.

“Nick, come on.”

“You gonna run off this time, pet?” Nick asks, running his tongue over Louis’ hip bone. Louis huffs and kicks at him with the heel of his foot. “Oi! You’re being quite rude.”

“And you’re being a tease,” Louis says. “Get on with it.”

“Oh yes, because it was me that left you standing half hard in the toilets.”

“Oh my god, I’m,” Nick’s not particularly interested in continuing this argument, so he cuts Louis off by sucking the head of his cock into his mouth. Louis swears and his hand settles again in Nick’s hair. He tugs a little, making Nick groan.

Nick bobs his head up and down Louis’ length until it’s wet and sloppy. He takes a minutes to flick his tongue up the vein before wrapping his hand around it and stroking in time with his mouth. It only takes a few minutes before Louis is tightening his hold on Nick’s hair and cursing. Nick takes him deeper and Louis comes with a shout, pulsing in the back of Nick’s throat.

Nick shifts up the bed and Louis wraps his arms around neck, pulling him into a sleepy kiss. He hums sleepily and rolls over, closing his eyes and laying his cheek on Nick’s chest. Nick is still achingly hard and he cannot believe this is happening again. He’s staring at Louis, mouth agape, debating between sneaking to the toilet for a wank and kicking Louis out of his flat when the little monster’s eyes pop open.

His eyes are wide and bright and he laughs gleefully at Nick’s expression. “Your face is so perfect! You look like a murderer!” He throws his leg across Nick and perches on his hips, still laughing. “Are you actually quivering with rage? I didn’t even know that was a real thing!”

“You really are the worst kind of boy, Louis Tomlinson.” Nick says and he wants to tell him to just get out, but Louis is scratching his nails lightly down Nick’s stomach. It feels incredible and Louis is so beautiful, wiggling shamelessly on Nick’s hips.

“Could do, or you could come all over me?” Nick takes a second to shake his head in disbelief before flipping Louis onto his back. Louis is grinning up at him and stretching his arms above his head. He bites at his bottom lip and bats his lashes. He looks like he’s having a laugh, but it’s intoxicating. Nick leans down and kisses him. He keeps kissing him, even as he wraps his hand around his cock. He’s jerking himself fast and rough and he keeps bumping his cock into Louis’ belly.

Eventually they stop kissing and Louis whispers obscene encouragements in Nick’s ear. Nick finally loses it when Louis says, “Come on, Grimshaw, want you to mess me up,” coming all over Louis’ stomach and chest. Breathing heavily, he brackets himself over Louis, who is staring at Nick with a slightly awed expression.

He has no idea what to say, so he gets up and heads into the en suite to get a damp flannel. He takes a moment to wash his hands and compose himself. By the time he gets back his bedroom door is open and Louis is nowhere to be seen. The only evidence he was ever there is the pile of laundry on his floor. Sitting at the top of the pile is the shirt Nick’d been wearing, crumpled and sticky. Nick all but shakes his fist at the empty doorway, before he pulls some trackies and a t-shirt from the floor.

There’s still a few people in flat, but it’s mostly the Harry and Cara show. Nick smiles at their antics as he approaches.

“Where’d Louis get off to?” Nick tries to sound annoyed, which he is, but not for any reasons he wants to tell Harry about.

“He left hours ago.” Harry looks concerned and Nick’s stomach drops. “He didn’t pull anything did he? Last month he filled Liam’s bunk with beanie babies. Otter beanie babies.” Nick doubles over laughing at that, imaging Liam’s face. “Liam thought it was a gift at first. He asked Niall if he’d forgotten an anniversary.” Nick laughs even harder, but apparently it’s too hard, because Harry gets stern. “There were like a thousand of them, I kept finding them under things.”

“Don’t worry, Harold, Delinquent Spice hasn’t done anything to my flat.” Harry frowns at him, and Nick holds his hands up. He hates making Harry sad and one surefire way to do that is to slag off Louis Tomlinson. “Ok, I’m going to bed. You lot are welcome to crash wherever. I think both the guest rooms’re free.”

“Can I kip with you?” Harry rubs his eyes sleepily and Nick is in awe of how quickly he vascilates between sex kitten and actual kitten.

“Yeah, just give me a minute, alright?” Nick rushes off as inconspicuously as possible, shouting over his shoulder, “I forgot to make the bed after laundry!” He strips the bed as fast as he can, shoving the sheets and his soiled shirt into his walk-in. He’s tucking in the corner of the sheet when Harry enters and kicks off his boots.

“Aw, Grimmy! You’re making me feel very special.” Harry strips down to his pants and moves towards Nick’s dresser for a shirt.

“Just pick one off the floor. They’re clean.” Nick ignores Harry’s confused look and climbs into bed, flipping the duvet back for Harry. They’ve crashed out with each other dozens of times, both of them preferring it to sleeping alone. Nick feels awkward about it for the first time, remembering the sounds Louis had made right where Harry’s currently snuggling into Nick’s pillow.

They lie awake for a while, catching each other up on what they’d missed while Harry was away. Nick doesn’t know why, but he resists the urge to say, I blew your best friend. He hates secrets and he’s never kept anything from Harry before, but he doesn’t have any idea what to say. Eventually Harry starts snoring softly and Nick thinks about how he got off with Louis Tomlinson again and how he’s torn between wanting to strangle him and wanting to do it some more.

Another week goes by and Nick doesn’t hear from Louis, but he’s expecting it this time and it doesn’t set him quite as much on edge. His shows go well the entire week and the set for Sweat The Small stuff is done and looks amazing. When Saturday comes around he sleeps late and only gets up when Pig throws herself against his chest and whines pathetically.

Daisy texts him while he’s walking Pig about meeting her at an antiques market and he doesn’t have other plans or a gig to prep for so he tells her he’ll meet her there. He almost doesn’t shower, but it’s been a while since he’s been papped on the street and wouldn’t it be just his luck for it to happen while he looks a mess. He certainly doesn’t think about wanting Louis to see pictures of him looking good. That is absolutely of no concern.

He meets Daisy after lunch and they wander around the market for a bit. Nick finds an incredible ornate gold frame. The painting is quite stodgy, but he’ll just replace it with the Katy Perry poster Finchy gave him. He’s contemplating dragging it back to his car when he gets a text from Louis.

aren’t you a bit old for paisley?

It takes Nick probably a little too long to work out that he’s wearing paisley right now and from there to guess Louis is probably here somewhere. He tells Daisy he’s going to bring the frame to his car. When he’s a few yards from her he texts Louis back.

I didn’t take you for antiques darling

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re barely over 30.

Nick wants to respond, I AM NOT 30, but he takes a breath and spends a minute cushioning the frame in the boot of his car. He’s about to slam it shut when someone slaps him soundly on the arse.

“Hiya Nicholas! I see you managed to find the most ridiculous looking item in all of Notting Hill.”

“Hello Louis.” Nick turns toward him and sighs. Louis is grinning at him, bouncing lightly on the balls on his feet, like he’s about to challenge Nick to a race. “Don’t you have hordes of teenagers to hide from?”

“You’ll be surprised to know young people are not the target demographic for Antiques markets.”

“And yet you’ve graced this market with your presence. Coming to check up on me?”

“Liam and I were meant to be writing, but he heard about some tapestry seller Sophia’s mum loves?” Louis looks almost nervous, kicking at the curb. “So, here I am, aren’t you lucky.”

They start walking back towards the market, falling into step next to each other. Nick keeps glancing over at Louis, expecting him to say something, but he’s quiet, eyes darting around the street. Suddenly, a block before the stalls start, Louis grabs Nick’s hand and yanks him down an alleyway. Nick is confused and more than a little nervous, but he follows obediently. Louis pulls him past several dumpsters, which seem mercifully empty, stopping in a small entryway.

Louis shoves Nick against the wall and crowds into his space. They’re hidden from the street, but completely exposed if anyone decided to take an alley stroll. Nick wants to protest, to say they’re both a little too high profile for making out in broad daylight, but Louis is standing on his toes to kiss him and suddenly it seems like a perfectly reasonable idea.

They stand there tangled in each other, kissing until they’re breathless with it. Nick is considering asking what it is they’re doing when Louis pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and growls, shaking it. It forces a laugh out of Nick and suddenly they’re both laughing and leaning against each other.

“Louis, what are we doing here?” Nick half expects the atmosphere to get serious when he asks that, but Louis just leans back, smiles up at Nick and says, “Does it matter?”

It’s not what Nick expected at all, and he doesn’t know how to respond. This is apparently what Louis wanted and he grins, dropping to his knees. He maintains eye contact with Nick while he undoes his flies and pulls Nick’s half hard cock out of his trousers. He takes it into his mouth and Nick groans. The wet heat of Louis’ mouth feels incredible. He wants to close his eyes and rest his head against the wall, but Louis is staring at him and Nick can’t look away.

Nick’s had men maintain eye contact with him with his cock in their mouths before and it’s always hot or awkward depending on how he feels about them. This is something else. It’s sexy, Louis looks incredible, his blue eyes blown and determined, lips stretched around Nick. It’s also magnetic in a way Nick’s never experienced. He’s not sure he could look away even if he wanted to.

He brings his hand up to Louis’ cheek and strokes at it with his thumb. Louis groans and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. Suddenly Nick’s orgasm is close and he gasps out a warning. Louis’ eyes snap back open and he takes Nick into the back of his throat. Nick loses it at that, biting down on his lip so he doesn’t make any noise. Louis keeps his mouth wrapped around his cock until Nick bats him away.

Nick is standing there, his brain still fuzzy from orgasm, while Louis bounces up, a small smile playing across his lips. “Grimshaw, I cannot believe you’re standing in a dirty alley with your cock hanging out.” Nick snorts and puts himself away. Louis is still smiling at him, so Nick pulls him in, kissing the taste of himself off Louis’ tongue.

Suddenly Louis pulls away from him and looks at his phone. “Sorry, mate, must run!” He gives Nick a tiny salute and bounds down the alleyway, turning onto the street and out of view. Nick watches him leave, his mouth hanging open. Once again Louis Tomlinson has managed to enter his life like a hurricane and gleefully exit as if nothing has happened. Nick isn’t a stranger to hooking up. It’s not like he needs to be cuddled or taken to brunch, but there’s something about the way Louis needles him, fucks him and then flits away that’s unsettling.

He runs his fingers through his quiff a few times and heads back towards the market. Daisy has sent him a text that she’s waiting for him by the rug vendor with the amazing mustache. Nick sets off, trying to pretend he didn’t just get a blow job from his nemesis and trying extra hard to ignore how much he wants it to happen again.

Daisy regards him a little suspiciously when he finds her. Apparently it shouldn’t take a half hour to put something in your car. Luckily he distracts her by suggesting heading to The Albert for mimosas. They pick up Pig on their way over and Nick relaxes into the afternoon. His thoughts only drift to beautiful pop stars on their knees a few times; he considers it a success.

Nick is slammed with work for the next few weeks and he very few opportunities to sleep, nevermind obsess about Louis Tomlinson. He’s always been a bit of a workaholic, so even though he’s bone tired, he’s happy, feeling more energized than he has in a while.

He almost begs off when Gillian invites him out. No one would blame him, but as much as he loves his work, he misses causing a ruckus with his friends. He texts Harry as he’s getting ready and has his car swing past Harry’s on the way.

“Hiiiiiiiiii!” Harry grins as he tumbles into the backseat like the world’s sexiest baby antelope. He pulls Nick into a tight hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Well, I’m quite busy and important, aren’t I?” Nick leans back and glances outside as London scrolls by the window.

“Oh, I know just how busy you’ve been.” Harry is grinning even wider now, his eyebrows waggling ridiculously.

“What are you on about?” It takes Nick a minute to realize what he’s obviously referring to. He’d become so accustomed to thinking about him and Louis as some filthy little secret he’d forgotten other people might actually know about it.

“Nicholas Grimmy Grimshaw, I cannot believe you weren’t going to tell me that you got off with my best friend!” Harry is putting on his most affronted face. “Three times, Nick! Three!”

“Well, if we’re aiming for accuracy, I only got off twice.” Nick elbows Harry in the side.

“I’ve heard,” Harry groans. He slumps into the seat and knocks his head into Nick’s shoulder, a clear communication he wants his hair played with. Nick obliges, twisting Harry’s curls between his fingers.

“It’s a bit confusing really. He keeps running away every time.” They’re almost to the bar and Nick fluffs his quiff in his reflection in the window.

“Well, you know how Louis is.” Harry notices that there are a few paps outside the bar and he smoothes the front of his shirt down.

“The thing is I don’t. Not really.” Harry gives him a look Nick can’t read, though he’s sure it’s patronizing in some way.

“Don’t let Louis fool you with all his Louis,” Harry waves his hand around. “He’s still just Louis.” Nick has no time to question what on earth Harry’s getting at, because the driver is opening the door and Nick and Harry have to push their way across the sidewalk, smiling for the barrage of flashbulbs firing at them.

Nick intends to ask Harry to clarify his statement, but there’re too many people there and by the time he has a chance he’s fully distracted by shots and dancing. He dances with an incredibly fit model for a few songs towards the end of the night, but politely declines the offer to go home with him. It’s not a thing, he’s just tired.

He finds Harry standing at the bar, scrolling through his phone. He has to lean in close to be heard over the beat. “I didn’t even know he liked boys!”

“Did you know him?” Harry is looking a the model, who’s dancing in the middle of the floor, looking beautiful and unapproachable.

“No! Louis. I didn’t know Louis liked boys.” Harry smirks at him and takes a sip of his drink.

“Yes, Nick, Louis likes boys. He likes boys and girls. Louis likes everybody.” He starts giggling and Nick realizes he’s drunker than he’d previously thought. “Louis doesn’t like everybody. I like everybody. Louis only likes who he likes.”

“Ok, popstar, let’s take this party back to my flat, yeah?”

The next morning Harry rolls over and makes a pitiful whining noise. “Grimmy! I feel awful.”

“Harold, please do not make me take care of you. It makes me feel like a father figure and you know I hate that.” Of course he can’t resist Harry’s exaggerated pout. He never could. They end up sprawled out together in Nick’s bed while they check their phones.

“Lou and Sam want to know if we want to have brunch,” Harry says. Part of Nick would quite like to stay in bed for at least another hour or two, but he hasn’t seen Lou or Sam in ages and he thinks a little hair of the dog could be just what he needs.

They shower and get ready as quick as their hangovers will allow and Harry raids Nick’s closet for something clean to wear. Nick doesn’t feel like driving, so Harry calls for a car. They decide to wait outside on the steps. It’s a little chilly, but the sun is out and Nick basks in it as they wait.

“Grim, what do you think of love?” Harry’s leaning back on his elbows and squinting up at the sky.

“Like, as a concept? People seem to like it.” It’s not the first time they’ve talked about it. Harry likes to talk about grand ideas and he’s dead romantic.

“Grim,” he draws out, “Be serious. I mean do you believe in it.”

“Of course I believe in love, Harold. I’m not the grinch.” A black SUV turns down the street and Nick assumes it’s theirs, but it continues past them. Nick pauses before continuing. “I’m just not sure I’m cut out for it.”

“Oh, Nick.” Harry’s cut off, because their car really does pull up. Nick’s relieved. He doesn’t think he wants to have this conversation. It’ll only lead to Harry feeling sad. It’s not like Nick thinks he can’t love. He loves his friends and his family deeply. He just can’t imagine making room in his life for another person so completely. Adopting Pig had been hard enough and it’s not as if a boyfriend can just be sent to Aimee’s when Nick goes out of town.

Harry seems to sense Nick’s mood and changes the subject to one of the songs they were sent last week. He starts texting someone, so Nick scrolls through twitter until they pull up at the restaurant. They make their way to the back, since Harry says they’re the last to arrive. They have a table nestled in the far corner. It’s Lou and Sam Teasdale, a member of their tour crew who Nick doesn’t think he’s ever met and, of course, Louis.

Nick gives everyone at the table a quick hug, but when he gets to Louis hesitates for a second before giving him a quick smile. “Hello Louis, you alright?”

“Yeah, good thanks.” Louis gives him an odd look, but retakes his seat. Nick ends up right next to him and Nick can’t help but feel weird having Louis this close. Their elbows keep brushing together and Nick can’t help wanting to reach out and run his fingers over Louis’ wrist bone. He smiles a little at the particularly horrible tattoo there.

“Grimshaw, you’re being very quiet today.” Louis nudges his elbow into Nick’s ribs. “Did you sell your voice to a sea witch?”

“Which witch?” Harry says from across the table, his laughter sending a spray of crumbs across the table. Lou throws her napkin at Harry in disgust and the table erupts into giggles.

The conversation turns to some movie everyone but Nick has seen. Louis also seems uninterested and Nick is about to turn and ask him why he didn’t like it when he feels Louis’ hand slip onto his thigh. He traces circles with his fingers and Nick is a little frozen.

“I’m just going to pop to the loo,” Nick says. Everyone ignores him, too engrossed in some story Lou is telling about Lux. He heads towards the toilets, finding the door and stepping inside. It’s a single stall and he leaves the door unlocked. He’s not positive Louis will follow him, but he suspects he might. Sure enough the door opens a minute later and Louis edges in, locking the door behind him.

Louis crosses the small room in two steps and grabs the collar of Nick’s shirt, pulling him down and kissing him fiercely. Nick grasps at Louis shoulders, kissing him back. Kissing Louis is all consuming, slow and fast all at once, in turns rough and then just as quickly achingly gentle. Nick thinks he could probably do it for hours. He’s brought back to himself when Louis flicks his nipple. Suddenly the confusion and uncertainty come rushing back.

“Louis, what is it you’re doing here?” Nick aims for blaise and ends up sounding a bit condescending. He sees the annoyance flash across Louis’ face.

“Listen, mate, if you don’t want to it’s alright.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to, it’s just that you always seemed to dislike me. A lot.” Nick’s waving his hands around, as if he can pluck his point out of the air. “And now you’re kissing me in the middle of brunch and I don’t really know why.”

“It’s just,” Louis lets out a small frustrated sigh. “I figured you don’t seem to want a relationship and I can’t really have one, so it seemed to make sense. From what Harry’s said, I thought this was a thing you did and it wouldn’t be a big deal?”

Nick cannot believe Louis has somehow managed to call him a slag and needy in one sentence. It’s infuriating, but instead of being pissed off, he feels embarrassed. He’s not sure anymore why he needed an explanation from Louis. “It’s not a big deal, princess. Just want to make sure everyone’s on the same page, and tell Hazza to stop gossiping about my sex life. It’s unbecoming.”

Louis looks relieved and he presses against Nick teasingly. “Good, now that that’s settled I better get back.” He skips over to the door and gets his fingers around the handle before turning back to Nick and winking. “See you soon!”

Nick crosses the room and crowds behind Louis, putting his hand on the door. He leans into Louis and speaks low, almost whispering. “Come home with me.” He puts his hand under the hem of Louis’ shirt and yanks Louis back against him in a quick firm movement. He brushes his lips against Louis’ ear and whispers in the most seductive tone he has, “God, I want to wreck you.”

Nick hears Louis’ quick intake of breath and they stand there breathing heavily until Louis says, almost inaudibly, “Yeah, ok.” Nick takes a step back then to give Louis clearance to open the door. Louis opens the door, but pauses before slipping out. Nick thinks he’s going to say something, but he just gives Nick a doe eyes stare and twists his nipple before scampering out the door. Nick is left massaging his chest and cursing Louis Tomlinson’s ability to always get in the last word.

Louis spends the rest of the meal ignoring Nick completely. It doesn’t bother him as much as it might have though. Louis still makes him nervous, but he seems less feral now. Nick has been here before. Fooling around with closeted celebrities is a well travelled path for him and now that he understands what Louis is looking for, he’s less nervous about the whole thing. Being around Louis still sets him on edge, but it doesn’t engage his fight or fight reflex quite so much.

After they part Nick half expects Louis to hang around and drive him back to his flat, but he hops in his tiny, ridiculous little sports car without giving Nick a second glance. He really is shockingly rude, Nick huffs to himself as he hails a taxi.

He’s been home for thirty minutes when he hears the doorbell ring. He’d just assumed Louis had blown him off when he’d left the restaurant, so for a moment he wonders who it could possibly be. He opens the door, and Louis steps forward to get inside, but Nick stands in it, blocking him from entering. “Hello, can I help you?”

“You going to let me in or are you hoping someone will see me?” Louis looks cheeky, but there’s an edge of anxiety in his voice that has Nick moving out of the way and shutting the door.

“Relax Tomlinson, I’m not even on the celebrity homes tour.”

“Is that very hard for you? Want me to put in a good word for you with star maps?”

“Aw princess, aren’t you sweet?” Nick assumes Louis is going to respond with some cutting barb, but instead he steps into his space, looks up him through his eyelashes and says, “Are you going to talk shit all day or are we going to get on with it?”

Nick chuckles, which makes Louis roll his eyes. He smirks down at the infuriatingly beautiful boy in front of him and says, “Take off your clothes.” Louis furrows his brow, “What in your hall?”

“Aren’t you a fussy little thing. Ok, let’s go to the bedroom.” He grabs ahold of Louis’ wrist and pulls him along towards the bedroom. It’s not that he expects Louis to resist, but he doesn’t expect him to trot along behind him so willingly. Louis is staring at him, like Nick’s just asked him to solve a riddle. They get into the bedroom and Nick crowds Louis up against the door. He kisses him messily before leaning back. “Come on. Let’s see you.”

Louis rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Why do you want me to go first?”

“Because, love, I already know what I look like naked.”

“You’ve seen me naked, wanker.”

“Have I? You’ll have to jog my memory.” Louis looks mutinous for a moment before shoving past Nick. Nick thinks he might leave, but he walks over to the bed and pulls his shirt over his head, his back to Nick. He kicks off his trainers, then shimmies out of his trousers and pants in one motion. Nick barely has a moment to admire the planes of his back before Louis jumps onto the bed and lays down, arranging himself among the pillows at the head of the bed.

“Your turn now.” Louis looks so smug, laid out across Nick’s bed like it’s a throne. He’s also, achingly beautiful. His skin is golden, interlayered with black ink across his chest and arm. Nick wants to put his hands everywhere. “God, you’re lovely.” He doesn’t even mean to say it, but Louis looks pleased.

Nick doesn’t waste any more time getting undressed. He kneels on the bed between Louis’ feet. He runs his hands up Louis’ legs and hooks his fingers behind Louis’ knees, yanking him down the bed. Louis gasps and he looks like he’s about to say something, but Nick interrupts by taking his cock into his mouth. Louis’ cock is on the small side of average, but it’s beautiful, almost elegant looking. Nick smiles to himself at that thought and vows never to say it out loud to Louis, who would never let him hear the end of it.

He runs his tongue around the head of Louis’ cock, dipping it inside the foreskin and making Louis moan. He tastes like soap and Nick thinks he must have stopped to shower on his way over. It’s almost precious and Nick is starting to think maybe he doesn’t know anything about Louis Tomlinson at all.

He pulls off Louis’ cock and sits back on his feet and looks down at the boy spread out below him. Louis chest is flushed and he’s panting softly, staring up at Nick. “Get on with it or I’ll be your age by the time I get off.” Nick laughs at that, which seems to please Louis. Nick settles over him and kisses him.

They kiss like that for a while, Louis hooks his ankles behind Nick’s knees and thrusts up desperately. Nick hums as he sucks a bruise into Louis’ neck and waits until Louis whines impatiently. “Shush, you, what’s the rush?” Louis just huffs in response, which makes Nick grin. “I’m going to eat you out now.”

Louis stills at that and Nick takes the opportunity to sit up and flip Louis over. Nick likes that Louis is small enough that he can toss him around. He caresses the skin of Louis’ bum before reaching for a pillow. He taps Louis on the hips and he lifts them obediently. He’d expected Louis to be annoyed at the manhandling, but he’s laying on the bed, wriggling his arse in the air and seems perfectly content.

He settles in between Louis’ legs and runs his hand up and down Louis’ thighs. He seems comfortable, but Nick knows how boys can get about being rimmed and he wants to make this good for Louis. There’s a roaring feeling in his chest that wants to make it so good for Louis he’ll never, ever forget it.

He spreads Louis’ cheeks with his thumbs and leans in, licking across Louis’ hole, before flicking it at the last second with the tip of his tongue. He keeps at it, alternating between broad flat strokes and quick flicks of his tongue, listening to Louis’ breath hitch and feeling his legs twitch. He pokes his tongue shallowly into Louis until he feels the muscles start to relax. Eventually he works into a rhythm and Louis is squirming and moaning unabashedly.

Rimming is usually foreplay for Nick, but he thinks he can make Louis come just from this and he really, really wants to see that. He runs a finger lightly across Louis balls, making him cry out. Nick continues licking and sucking on Louis’ hole until he feels him start to shake. He gives one final thrust of his tongue, pushing it in a little further and Louis comes with a cry. Nick continues licking softly until Louis whines and pulls away.

Nick’s cock is achingly hard and he gets up on his knees and wraps his hand around himself. Louis is still laid out, debauched and sleepy and it doesn’t take long until Nick is coming across him back.

He lays down next to Louis, who stares at him sleepily. “You came on me.” His eyes are half closed, but he still manages to squint accusingly. “S’rude.”

Nick laughs at him, because he looks like an angry kitten like this. He desperately wants to just have a nap, but he goes to get a flannel from his en suite. He wipes up Louis’ back, while Louis grumbles about it being cold. “Quite a lot of gripes out of you.” Louis shrugs and rolls over, grabbing the flannel from Nick to clean his front. The pillow is mess, so Nick tosses it on the floor. He’ll deal with it later.

“I’m just going to kip for a bit,” Nick says as he gets under the covers. Louis sits awkwardly, like he’s not sure if he should stay or go. “You’re welcome to join, pop star.” Louis hesitates for a second before gingerly getting under the covers. He lays there awkwardly until Nick wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him in. “Oh, just cuddle with me, you unbelievable brat.”

“Fuck off.” Louis mumbles, but goes willingly.

Nick falls asleep with Louis’ back flush against his chest. When he wakes up, he’s gone. Nick hates waking up alone, it makes him feel disorientated and confused. He tries to shake off the feeling. He should have known Louis would leave. He’s surprised he convinced him to stay at all.

It’s early still, so he sends a bunch of texts and ends up meeting Collette for dinner, which turns into drinks, which turn into a dance party in his lounge at half one in the morning. He convinces Collette to stay over, but remembers too late he hasn’t changed the sheets and she picks up the pillow covered in Louis’ come. “You absolute slag! You want me to sleep on your shagged up sheets?”

“Oh, like it would be the first time!”

Collette pesters him about who it was, and Nick swears her to absolute secrecy before sheepishly admitting the truth. It’s not even the most exciting secret he’s ever told Collette, and he trusts her to be a vault. He doesn’t trust her not to give him shit about fucking a 21 year old, which she does, at length.

His alarm goes off at 5:25 and Nick stumbles into his en suite, trying to stay relatively quiet. He turns on the light and immediately cracks up. He’s not sure how he missed it when he got home last night, because scrawled across his mirror, in what appears to be toothpaste, reads KISS MY ASS xx LOUIS.

Nick is still laughing about it when he gets to work and Fiona pesters him about it all morning.

Louis comes over a few days later and Nick blows him, sprawled across the sofa. They watch The Great British Bake-Off together and Louis spends the entire show poking Nick with his toes and throwing pieces of biscuit at his head. Nick is disgustingly charmed. He doesn’t stay the night, but Nick doesn’t expect him to.

It’s another week before he sees Louis again. Nick’s out for drinks with Aimee when Louis texts him.

Hey old man whats your bedtime tonight

Aren’t you forward?

8==m==D~~

Nick laughs and Aimee looks up from her phone. “Are you sexting?! Let me see!” She grabs at his phone, laughing wickedly. He holds the phone away from her and she pouts and eyes him suspiciously. “You’re being weird. Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not being weird. It’s weird, he’s weird.” Nick waves his hands in an exasperated flourish. “I don’t know, Aims, maybe I am being weird.”

“Oh my god, you like him!” Aimee curls her lip up and backs away like he might be infected.

“Shut it! I don’t, he’s a menace. He’ll probably burn my house down.” He pulls her in and she snuggles against him. “Let’s get another round before I go home and suck his dick, eh?”

“How is his dick?” Aimee waggles her eyebrows as he waves over the waiter.

“Aimee, it’s so fucking beautiful. It’s awful.” Nick taps a reply telling Louis when he’ll be home and launches into a story about taking the 1Xtra lift with one of the big bosses whilst Anaconda blared.

Nick’s a little tipsy when he gets home and he’s not sure when Louis is getting there, so he doesn’t want to risk sitting and getting tired. He takes Pig out into the garden and plays fetch with her until she gets bored of him and starts burrowing her way through his bushes.

Nick scrolls through Instagram until a message from Louis pops up.

LET ME IN YOU KNOB

He heads out the front door and opens the door. Louis stands on the threshold glaring at him before pushing inside. “Is answering the doorbell too 2012 for you, Nicholas?”

Nick laughs and pulls him in, kissing him slowly and methodically. He’s never kissed Louis like this, as a welcome rather than foreplay. Louis kisses him back, wrapping his arms around Nick’s neck and standing on his toes to get closer. Eventually Nick pulls away. “I’ve left Pig outside, god knows what she could have gotten up to.”

Nick heads outside and Louis trails behind him. “How’ve I never met your dog before?”

“You’re both enough trouble as it is, I shudder to think what terror you would reign together.” Nick winks at Louis as he holds the French door open for him to pass through. True to his word, Pig is sitting in the grass, a dead bird hanging limply from her mouth. Nick shrieks, “Pig, no! Oh god, drop it! Drop it!”

Louis looks absolutely delighted. “She brought you a gift and you’re being quite rude,” Louis says, grinning like it’s Christmas morning.

Pig starts to trot towards them and Nick yelps, scurrying behind Louis. Pig stops and drops the bird, cocking her head to the side and looking at Nick confused. Louis is doubled over laughing. “This is the greatest day of my life,” he wheezes out. “Nick, you muppet, what is the matter with you?”

Pig is starting to look concerned and Nick feels bad so he calls her over and picks her up. She looks thrilled and immediately licks his face. Nick whimpers, gagging a little at what he’s sure is dead bird smell. “Let’s go in. I’ll call someone to take care of it,” Nick says to Louis, who is still giggling. “Or I’ll just leave it there. How long does it take carcasses to decompose? I’ll wait.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Who’re you going to call? Dead bird retrieval?”

“Well, I’m not going to touch it!” Nick is angling his face away from Pig, who’s still licking him earnestly.

“Oh my god! Go inside, I will deal with this,” Louis says and the look he gives Nick is exasperated, but almost fond. It makes Nick relax a little and he takes Pig inside. He does his best to make her drink from her water bowl, but she mostly seems interested in attacking the new squeaky toy Nick’s mum sent last week.

Nick heads into his bathroom to wash his skin of dead bird plague. As he’s towelling his face off, Louis comes in and heads to the sink to wash his hands. “Is now a bad time to tell you I’ve been pheasant hunting today and I’ve brought you something?”

Nick slaps at Louis’ bum playfully and waits for him to dry his hands before pulling him in and whispering in his ear, “Tomlinson, why didn’t you tell me you were so helpful in an emergency?”

Louis snorts, “Hardly an emergency. All I did was pu--.”

“No! Don’t tell me where it is! I don’t want to know!” Nick slaps his hand over Louis’ mouth, making him narrow his eyes murderously. “Just let me show you how thankful I am,” Nick whispers, removing his hand from Louis mouth and sliding it under his shirt.

“You’d better be very, very grateful,” Louis leers at him, “because now I know your weakness.”

“My weakness for mouthy little pop stars?” Nick starts to shove Louis towards his bed as he pulls at his shirt. It leaves Louis’ hair ruffled and fluffy. “I’ll kill you before I let you tell anyone.”

Getting the rest of their clothes off is a tangle of limbs. They push and pull at each other impatiently until finally they’re both naked. Louis shoves Nick into sitting at the edge of the bed and climbs into his lap. His knees are bracketing Nick’s hips and he wraps his arms around Nick’s neck and kisses him.

Kissing Louis is rough and just on the right side of sloppy. Nick runs his hands up and down Louis’ back. His skin is smooth and hot and Louis sighs into Nick’s mouth when his hands stray towards his bum.

Louis reaches his hand down and wraps his hand around Nick’s cock. Nick’s on the large side and he loves how it looks in Louis’ tiny little hand. Louis shifts a little to get a better angle and starts stroking him faster. He leans in and whispers in Nick’s ear, “I could ride you like this.”

Nick gasps and his cock jerks in Louis’ hand. Louis swipes his thumb across the pre-cum that’s dribbled out at his slit. He tightens his grip, but slows down the pace. “Would you like that? Fucking me like that?” Nick nods dumbly and Louis puts their foreheads together, kissing him. “I’ve thought about, all the ways you could fuck me. You could take me from behind, yeah?” Nick’s close now, but he can’t take his eyes off Louis. “You could pound me right into the mattress until I come from just your cock.”

That pushes Nick right over the edge. He kisses Louis as he comes, pressing their lips together and comes all over Louis’ hand. They sit there while Nick’s breathing slows down. Louis stays in his lap, tracing his fingers across the hair at the base of NIck’s neck. Finally Nick picks him up by the hips and deposits him on the bed. He cleans Louis’ hand off on his t-shirt.

Nick is still a little fuzzy so he spends a little too long staring at Louis, laid out and squirming impatiently. He’s golden and soft. Even his angular face and incredible cheekbones are somehow rounded and inviting. His blue eyes are sparkling, even as he squints threatenly at Nick.

“I want to finger you,” Nick blurts out. “Can I?”

Louis bites his lip and nods. Nick can’t quite read the expression on his face. “Budge up a bit.” Nick’s talking softly, like he thinks Louis needs to be soothed. He grabs the lube from his nightstand, but pauses before popping open the cap. “We don’t have to, not if you don’t want.”

“Yes, thank you for that,” Louis says kneeing him and rolling his eyes. “I want to, it’s just been a while, so be gentle with those monstrosities.”

Nick laughs and lays down next to Louis, propping himself up so he’s looking down at him. “Be nice to my fingers, princess, they’re about to change your life.” Louis rolls his eyes again, but Nick traces his finger along Louis’ jaw, when he reaches the hinge he taps twice and Louis opens his mouth obediently.

It gives Nick a thrill how much control Louis is willing to give. Louis, who is stubborn and pushy, but also pliable and trusting. It’s a heady feeling and it makes Nick want to make Louis feel so, so good.

Louis’ mouth is open and he’s looking up at Nick expectantly. Nick pushes his fingers back and forth across Louis’ tongue, revelling in how soft and wet it feels and how it makes Louis’ eyes go dark. He runs the tip of his index finger across Louis’ lips before leaning in and kissing him deeply.

He kisses Louis until he feels his hips twitch in desperate little thrusts. Nick settles himself between Louis’ legs and drizzles lube over his fingers. He circles his hole lightly with his thumb and watches Louis sigh and gasp, finally he pushes one finger in gently. Louis gasps and buries his face in the crook of his elbow. Nick rubs his other thumb absently at Louis’ hip. “Let me see you, love,” Nick says, moving his finger in slow, shallow thrusts. Louis nods and puts his arm above his head. He looks perfect like this, and Nick decides to push it a little. “Keep your hands up there, OK?” Nick watches Louis’ dick twitch at his words and Louis lifts his other hand, lacing his fingers together against the sheets.

Nick goes back to fingering him. Nick loves fingering men. It’s hot and smooth and tight and he could do it for hours. He loves when he’s allowed to do it as the main event and really take his time. He adds another finger and Louis cries out. Nick’s watching his face closely for signs that it’s too much, but Louis keeps pushing his hips down onto Nick’s fingers.

He thrusts in a little deeper until he feels Louis’ prostate. Louis lets out a string of curse words that includes Nick’s name, but Nick just soothes his hand across his hip and whispers encouragement. Nick rubs out a rhythm against Louis’ prostate until he finds that one makes Louis cry out and whimper and beg Nick to never stop.

He’s gorgeous like this, damp with sweat, eyes screwed shut, struggling to stay still. Nick can tell he’s about to come, because he starts to gasp out Nick’s name, like he’s trying to tell him something. When he does come, it’s explosive, streaks of white landing across his chest and up his neck. His breathing is ragged and he opens his eyes to stare at Nick bewilderedly.

Nick kisses him quickly before heading to the bathroom to clean himself off and return to Louis with a glass of water and a damp flannel. Once they’re cleaned up and Louis’ taken several gulps of water Nick gathers him up in his arms and nuzzles into his neck.

“Don’t leave OK?” Nick mumbles into Louis’ shoulder.

“What, ever? Are you sure you’re up to feeding me? I can eat quite a bit.”

“No, just don’t leave in the morning.” Nick’s tired now and he’s letting himself be more honest than he probably should. “I don’t like waking up alone.”

“Yeah, ok.” Louis says, as he snuggles further into Nick’s body. He falls asleep almost immediately, and Nick can feel the slow steady rhythms of his breath against his chest. Nick falls asleep eventually and he wakes up to the duvet kicked to the floor and Louis sprawled across him.

Nick carefully extricates himself from Louis, who snuffles adorably at Nick’s shoulder and tries to burrow closer. Nick wants nothing more than to destroy his alarm clock with a hammer and stay in bed, but he really has to get up. Finchy only really tolerates him coming in late once a week and Nick hates using it up on Mondays.

He takes a quick shower, long enough to give himself a cursory scrub and shake off the remnants of sleep. Louis is still in his bed and he stays snuggled under the duvet, staring murderously at Nick when he turns the light on. “Oi, Hagrid, what’s with all the stomping?”

“Such a diva!” Nick mocks, swatting at Louis’ toes. Louis sits up and blinks groggily at him. His hair is pushed to one side and he has pillow creases on the side of his face. It makes Nick feel a little better, that even impossibly good looking teen idols can look a bit of a wreck. Of course Louis still looks disgustingly gorgeous, but Nick will take his victories where he can find them.

Nick wants to push him back onto the bed and kiss him silly, but he doesn’t. He just stands stupidly over his sock drawer. Louis is looking at him ferociously. “This is when you wake up every day? Is the Breakfast Show some kind of punishment?”

“Sometimes I think so,” Nick says cheekily over his shoulder as his pulls his jeans on. “You don’t have to get up, feel free to go back to sleep.”

Louis looks a bit puzzled at that, but nods fuzzily and drops his head back on the pillow. “Not that I’ll be able to get back to sleep after the Sasquatching you’ve been doing.”

“Mind your tongue, you little vampire, or I’ll rescind your invitation.” Louis huffs and throws the duvet over his head. By the time Nick has finished his hair and moisturizing regimen, Louis is sprawled across the entire bed, snoring softly.

During his final link Louis sends him a text that says, Your shower is rubbish. He laughs and responds, Give it a break, it’s not accustomed to such a dirty boy. Fiona catches his eye and winks lasciviously at him. He gives her a sheepish shrug as he heads out the door, waving at Fearne and Ian.

He and Finchy have a meeting about next week’s shows, so it’s an hour before he checks his phone. He has a few texts, but he clicks on Louis’ first.

This song is terrible..

If I’d known you were listening, I would have dedicated you a song. .

I’ll pass..

Louis comes over in the afternoon a few days later and blows Nick on the couch, then he straddles Nick’s hips and stares at him while Nick jerks him off quick and dirty.

They’re sprawled on the couch catching their breath when Louis says, a little shyly, “It’s early, want to watch a film?” Nick groans a little and Louis yanks his hand from where he’s been absently tracing circles on Nick’s leg. “Alright, it was just a suggestion.” Nick, grabs his hand. “Don’t be like that. It’s just that I hate films.”

“You hate films?” Louis looks at him skeptically. “Not foreign films or horror films, just films.”

“They’re so long!”

“You hate films because they’re long?” Louis is starting to look delighted and it makes Nick wary. “Oh my god, Nick, you are the most ridiculous human being.” He’s shaking his head with an exasperated fondness, a look Nick is familiar with getting from most of his friends.

They end up watching a bunch of episodes of Top Gear and spend the last episode making out and lazily rutting against each other.

It’s not that it becomes a thing, but it becomes something. 1D is on their break, so Louis has a lot of a time on his hands and when he’s not in Doncaster or sitting on a Southeast Asian beach, he’s at Nick’s flat.

The first time Nick fucks Louis is after he’s had to go to some dinner with their management company. Louis comes over annoyed and antsy. He pushes Nick against the wall as soon as he gets inside his flat, standing on his toes and pulling firmly at Nick’s neck to kiss him. He pulls back to lean into Nick’s ear and whispers, “I want you to fuck me.”

Nick feels a little breathless in that moment, and he struggles to play it cool. “You are such a pushy little thing.” He takes Louis’ chin in his hand. “Barging into my home and demanding to be fucked.”

Louis yanks away, “If you don’t want to, you could just say,” he shouts waving his hand accusingly at Nick’s chest.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to!” Nick tries not to shout, but his voice rises despite himself. “God, you’re so stroppy! I want to fuck you quite a bit actually.”

“Well, why didn’t you say.” Louis folds his arms and sets his jaw, looking like a put out toddler. Nick really should want to throttle him.

“Typically I prefer to sex with less yelling.”

“I thought you liked it when I was loud.” Louis is teasing now, but he maintains his closed off posture.

“I said no yelling, love, not no screaming.” Nick purrs as he reaches out and runs his fingers through Louis’ hair. Louis leans into the touch and that’s all the encouragement Nick needs to tip Louis’ head up and kiss him.

Louis keeps his arms folded, but he kisses back enthusiastically. Finally Nick pulls back and says, “C’mon, let Grimmy take care of you.”

“Ugh, stop it! You’re such a pervy old man!” Louis wriggles out of Nick’s arms, but he grabs his hand and pulls him along to his bedroom. Louis undresses himself without fanfare and jumps onto the bed to watch Nick impatiently. “Hurry up, Grimshaw, I’d like to have sex while at least one of us is still young.”

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint, Tomlinson.” Nick pushes his pants down and kicks them across the room. “Or it should be, if you’re doing it right.” A look flashes across Louis’ face then and Nick’s not sure if it’s frustration or anxiety, Louis is literally a pro at hiding his emotions.

Louis feels tense under his hands, so Nick kisses his way up his stomach and chest. His skin is so smooth and he has a tiny smattering of chest hair, barely a fuzz. It reminds Nick just how young Louis is. He remembers some of the sex he had at 21 and he vows he’ll make this good for him.

He opens him up slowly, so slowly that Louis repeatedly kicks him in the side and yells at him to hurry up. Nick just shuts up him by sucking lightly at the head of his cock and continues tenderly fingering him. When he finally feels like Louis is ready he grabs a condom from the nightstand.

Louis insists on rolling the condom on himself, but refuses to pour the lube. “My hands’ll be sticky,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Nick rolls his eyes, but slicks himself up and lines up with Louis’ hole.

He pushes in slowly, watching Louis’ face. Louis gasps and his eyes lock onto Nick’s. It’s unbearably intimate and Nick wants to look away, it’s too much. He doesn’t though. When his hips are flush with Louis’ bum, he bends over and brackets his arms around Louis’ head.

They kiss sloppily as Nick begins to move experimentally. Louis gasps into his mouth, then moans long and deep when Nick thrusts harder. He wonders if he should have put music on. The only sound is the slick sound of fucking and the fan from the en suite. It’s not the height of romance, but he supposes it doesn’t have to be. Nick leans back again, so he’s kneeling, and begins to snap his hips with rhythm and purpose. He knows he’s hit Louis’ prostate when he cries out.

The noises Louis makes are delicious. He’s quiet and loud, whining softly and then shouting out Nick’s name. He claws at Nick’s back and whispers filth into his ear, begging to be fucked harder and faster.

Nick can tell Louis is close when he goes quiet, so he reaches down and takes Louis’ cock in his hand. It only takes a couple strokes for Louis to come across his stomach. Nick keeps going, fucking into Louis faster and his own orgasm follows closely behind.

He drops his head to Louis’ shoulder and tries to catch his breath. Louis is running his fingers across Nick’s back, which is slick with sweat. They’re quiet for a minute before Louis pipes up, “Well done, Nicholas. Solid work out of you.”

“Oh my god, shut it, you absolute demon.” Nick mutters into Louis’ shoulder. Louis laughs at that, like he’s pleased. Nick elbows him in the side. “I guess I could just leave you here, covered in your own spunk.”

“I could just wipe it on your headboard.”

“Jesus, I must not of done a very good job if I can’t even shut you up for five minutes.” Nick grumbles as cleans them up. He wraps his arm around Louis and tugs him against his chest. Louis starts to argue, but Nick nuzzles his nose into his hair and shushes him. “Yell at me in the morning, yeah?”

“Maybe. We’ll see.” Louis keeps talking, but he relaxes against Nick and within a minute his breathing has slowed down. Nick falls asleep soon after him.

Nick wakes up to 10 stone of boy landing on his chest. “Oh, for fucks sake,” Nick groans. Louis laughs evilly and pokes at Nick’s cheek. “You are a menace.”

Louis makes an affronted face. “I wanted to get up, but I didn’t want to make you sad,” Louis says, drippingly sarcastic. He’s still naked and Nick runs his hands up his back. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Yeah, you’re quite considerate.” Nick rolls his eyes, but he traces his fingers down Louis’ crack and circles his rim. Louis sucks in a breath. He’s still loose and wet from last night and Nick slides a finger in, revelling in the feel of him. He wants to fuck him again, but his head is still fuzzy with sleep and he doesn’t fancy exerting himself quite yet.

Nick pulls his finger out and Louis whines a little against his chest. Nick flips him over, so he’s sprawled atop him, his back to Nick’s chest. Nick wraps one arm around his stomach and he takes Louis’ cock in his other hand. Louis gasps and bucks against him, grinding his bum against Nick’s cock.

Nick whispers filthily in Louis’ ear as he jerks him off slow and steady. Louis whines for him to go faster, but Nick keeps his pace slow. Louis reaches his hand down, but Nick grabs him by the bicep, so he has both of Louis’ arms trapped against his body. Louis whimpers, but he doesn’t try to buck out of his hold, just moans Nick’s name.

Eventually Nick relents and swipes his thumb across the head of Louis’ cock and starts pulling hard and fast. Louis falls apart quickly after that, coming across his stomach. After that Nick drags Louis into the shower, where he fucks his perfect little thighs.

They’re drying themselves off when something catches his eye that makes him smile. He’s not sure when they happened, but there are smattering of love bites across Louis’ neck and shoulder. “Sorry, love, looks like I’ve marked you up quite a bit.”

“Nicholas!” Louis tweaks his nipples playfully. “What if I’d had a photoshoot today?!”

“Well then you could’ve taught all your fans an important lesson about protecting their necks.”

“Yeah, 1D is the new Wu-Tang.” Louis grins and punches Nick playfully in the arm. They get dressed together, hip checking and pinching each other playfully.

“I feel like I should be taking you to brunch right now,” Nick says. He doesn’t mean to say it, it just sort of slips out. He tries to act casual, but he sort of freezes.

“What?” Louis asks, his head cocked to the side.

Nick pauses, he and Louis have a good thing going and he’s afraid he’ll scare him off. “It’s the polite thing to do when you shag boys, Louis.”

“Now I’m feeling very not taken care of, Nicholas.” Louis says. He sounds like he’s making a joke, but he doesn’t reach out to poke or pinch Nick.

“Oh shut it, pop star.” Nick looks at Louis who is sitting on the bed with one trainer on. “I would take you out to a proper brunch if it wouldn’t send The Daily Mail into a meltdown.”

“Damn right you would.” Louis pulls on his second trainer and stands up. He pokes Nick in the chest and says sternly, “I’m not some slag you picked up in the East End.”

“You definitely are not. I would never pick up anyone so mouthy.” The tension has passed, but Nick still feels nervous. He and Louis walk to the door together, but before he opens his front door Louis kisses him. It’s short and sweet and afterwards Louis smiles at him like he’s just shared a secret.

“Have fun with your FIFA today. Remember to stay hydrated.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Louis says, rolling his eyes. “Have fun taking your walk in the park or whatever.” He opens the door and skips down the stairs. Nick isn’t even annoyed at Louis’ pathological need to have the last word and he has no idea when that happened.

Nick starts walking to the tube station when he’s startled by a car horn. Louis is driving by in his tiny sports car, flipping him the bird out the window and cackling madly. Nick laughs and shakes his head.

Nick’s full on with prep for Sweat the Small Stuff, which starts filming next month and Louis’ combined some charity work and a dirt biking trip with Liam. He’s not even really expecting to hear from him, but he’s sitting with Collette on the couch when his phone dings. It’s Louis and Nick smiles at the message.

Thinking about your cock.

What are you thinking about it?

Just wondering about its hopes and dreams.

It certainly has some asspirations.

that’s awful

Nick shifts on the couch. He looks over at Collette who’s looking at him suspiciously. “You’re sexting!”

“What?!” Nick is genuinely so shocked at having been caught out. “How did you know that?”

“You have your ‘trying to pull’ face on.” Collette says.

“I do not!” Nick cries, horrified at the thought it might be true.

“You do! It’s obscene!” Collette shouts, then softens and asks, “Same boy or different boy?”

“Same boy and I’ll thank you to leave it at that.” Collette scoffs and turns back to the telly. Nick checks his phone and instead of a message from Louis, there’s one from Harry.

Liam says to stop texting Louis. He’s meant to be writing.

Nick grins and responds with a string of winky emojis. He tosses his phone on the table and snuggles into Collette’s side.

Louis gets back to London that Sunday night and comes straight to Nick’s. He texts on his way over and Nick has to make a hasty exit from Daisy’s, where he’s been watching the X-Factor and drinking wine. He beats Louis there by fifteen minutes, which he spends nervously tidying up. Not that it matters to Louis, who creates messes wherever he goes.

Nick answers the door for Louis and it’s shocking, because Louis is absolutely breathtaking. He’s just in sweatpants and a t-shirt and his hair is pushed back in a headband, but he’s tan and his collarbone is peaking out from the neck of his shirt. He looks beautiful. The door is barely shut behind him when Louis is on him. He leaps onto Nick, wrapping his legs around his waist. His smile is wide and open and he looks so genuinely happy Nick’s heart clenches a bit.

It’s a horrible moment, because Nick has only just realized just how gone he is over this boy. He has no idea what to do with that realization, so he kisses him. Louis kisses back like he does everything else, brashly and without abandon.

Nick carries him to the bedroom where he undresses him quickly. Nick is afraid of what he’ll do or say if he takes his time like he really wants. Louis is laying in the middle of the bed, hoisting his bum in the air, like he’s fully aware how glorious it is.

Nick opens Louis up efficiently, using more lube than is strictly necessary, but he likes the feeling of it and how grumpy it makes Louis to be ‘too sticky.’

“I want you to ride me.” Nick says when he’s finally able to fit three fingers. Louis looks up at him from where he has his cheek pressed into the pillow and nods.

Nick lays on his back and Louis kneels over him, but before he reaches for Nick’s cock he leans over and kisses him. Nick threads his fingers in Louis’ hair and holds on tight until Louis wriggles out of his grasps and sits up. He sinks down onto Nick’s cock, staring at Nick the whole time.

Louis arches his back and circles his hips. Nick struggles not to buck up into him and rests his hands on Louis’ hips, leaving his arms limp to follow their motion as Louis starts to grind down on him.

Louis moves agonizingly slow, and he’s still staring at Nick, mouth open as he whimpers and gasps. Finally Nick pulls him down and kisses him hard and sloppy. They breath against each other’s mouths as Louis snaps his hips down onto Nick’s cock.

It’s hot and loud and overwhelming and Nick doesn’t even realizing he’s grabbing Louis’ hand and interlacing their fingers, keeping them on the bed by his head.

Louis is bouncing desperately onto Nick and making small whining sounds in the back of his throat. “Nick. Oh god. Nick, touch me, please. I need to come.”

Nick reaches between them and wraps his fist around Louis’ cock which is wet from pre-cum and the sweat from Nick’s belly. He’s barely worked into a rhythm when Louis comes across Nick’s stomach. The pressure from Louis clenching around him is enough to push Nick over with him.

When he opens his eyes Louis is still seated on his cock and he’s tracing circles on Nick’s stomach with his cum.

“That’s disgusting,” Nick grumbles. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Shush, Nick, never disturb an artist when they’ve found inspiration.” Louis grins, and sticks his tongue out, feigning concentration. “I’m drawing a self portrait.”

“You’re such a nuisance.”

“Don’t be a knob. You’re a work of art now, you should act like it.” Nick rolls his eyes and he really should push Louis off, but he looks dazzling, his skin flushed and eyes bright. He pokes at Louis’ side, but Louis just ignores him and continues. “Nick, you’re ruining the shading!”

Louis finally relents and they end up in the shower. Nick has a huge shower with multiple showerheads, but they end up pressed up against each other. Nick washes Louis’ hair, massaging the shampoo into his scalp while Louis leans against him. They stay in until the room is filled with steam and then tumble into bed exhausted.

Louis is curled into Nick’s side, his head tucked into his shoulder. “Tour starts soon,” Louis says sleepily.

“Yeah.” Nick responds somewhat feebly. His head is foggy from the sex and the shower and he’s nervous about giving away too much. His mind races with what to say, but Louis is already snoring softly against his chest.

Nick cannot believe how stupid he is. He’s gone and fallen for Louis Tomlinson of all people. Louis Tomlinson who delights at torturing him. Louis Tomlinson, his best friend’s best friend. Louis Tomlinson who came to him looking for a discreet hook up. Louis Tomlinson who definitely does not love Nick back.

It takes Nick a long time to fall asleep that night. Louis is snuffling softly against Nick and every noise is like a stab into Nick’s heart. At one point around half two Louis whines and twitches and Nick holds him closer, whispering comfort against his hair until he relaxes.

When his alarm goes off he feels like hasn’t slept at all and he drags himself to the shower feeling like death warmed over. Louis is up and dressed when he gets comes out of the en suite, which has never happened before.

“Morning, princess.” Nick says, pulling his pants on and rooting around in his sock drawer for a matching pair. “What brings you out of the covers so early this morning?”

Louis rubs his eye sleepily and grimaces at Nick. “I have a meeting with my accountant this morning.” Louis says, “I thought I could drive you to work?”

Nick is texting a string of aubergine emogis to Finchy and Fiona, so they know he’s up and he looks up, surprised. Louis is sitting on his bed looking at him with a confidence that doesn’t quite make it to his eyes. “You want to drive me to work?”

“Yes, I’m absolutely gagging to drive you to work.” Louis says, tugging nervously at the hem of his shirt. “My music career is just a way to finance my real passion, driving Nick Grimshaw to work.”

“Alright, poppet, no need to have a strop. I’d love a ride.” Nick says, “I just need to let Pig out and then I’ll be ready.”

Louis nods and trails after him towards the garden. Pig, having never quite acclimated to early mornings, looks at him resentfully as he ushers her outside. Louis stands next to Nick and giggles at Pig’s taciturn expression.

“Oh, shut it.” Nick says sullenly. “I never should have introduced you lot.” That makes Louis cackle and pinch at his sides. He wraps his arm around Nick and pulls him in, leaning his head against Nick’s shoulder. It’s too early in the morning for Nick to begin to know what to do with Louis hugging him, so he just stands there.

It only lasts a moment and Louis is skipping inside, calling over his shoulder, “Let’s go, old man! You’ve got a radio show to fuck up!”

The drive isn’t awkward, but it’s quiet and quiet is something Nick’s not sure he’s ever experienced with Louis around. It makes him anxious and he wonders if Louis has a shoe he’s waiting to drop.

“Hey, drop me at the Starbucks, yeah?” Nick says.

“Right, yeah.” Louis is momentarily distracted while switching lanes and when he pulls up in front of the Starbucks he’s tapping out an irregular rhythm on the steering wheel. “Listen, Nick.”

And Nick just cannot do this right now. If he’s going to be chucked by the pop star he’s shagging it’s not going to be on the side of the road at six in the morning. “Right, Finchy’s just texted, I’ve got to be off.”

He glances at Louis as he jumps from the car and Louis is staring after him. Nick thinks he looks almost sad and that’s worse because Nick knows he’s pathetic, but he doesn’t need Louis’ pity. He waves awkwardly and trots toward the Starbucks.

The show isn’t a mess, but it’s a bit of a dud. Nick’s having trouble focusing and his banter with Finchy and Fiona drags. After the show wraps he has to do a photoshoot for the the new Children in Need campaign. The shoot has all sorts of technical issues and Nick ends up having a lot of time to think.

He doesn’t want to get chucked by Louis, but he also can’t imagine continuing to shag him now. Nick’s done unrequited love before and it’s hard enough just having to hang out with them. The thing is that Louis is going on tour in three weeks, which means there’s a natural end point anyway.

Nick starts to feel guilty as they’re retouching his make-up for the last few shots. It’s not Louis’ fault Nick’s fallen for him and they’ve become something like friends in the last few months. At the very least Louis does spend a lot of time at Nick’s flat. Nick can be mature about this.

He texts Louis as he’s leaving the studio.

Come over for your tea tomorrow. I’ll cook you a nice going away meal.

He gets a response immediately, which he didn’t expect.

Sounds good!

He goes home and takes Pig for a walk and meets Aimee for drinks. They’re most of the way through the first round when Aimee looks across the table appraisingly. “What’s wrong? You’re mopey.”

Nick contemplates saying nothing, but it’s not like he’s ever not told Aimee everything. “I’m a disaster, Aims.” He sighs. “I went and fell for a stupid pop star who only came to me for some discrete shagging.”

“Aw, love,” Aimee says, her face contorting with the effort to not laugh. Nick looks at her aghast. “I’m sorry, but all the nice boys you’ve been out with and gotten bored of and you fall for Louis bloody Tomlinson. It’s just too much.”

“Ugh, can we not talk about poetic justice when I’m feeling sorry for myself!” Nick wails, banging his head on the table.

“Oh, pet,” Aimee says and strokes his hair. “There’ll be other boys, probably even other pop stars.”

“I’ve invited him over for tea tomorrow.”

“Why’ve you done that?” Aimee asks.

“Well, it’s not his fault I’m ass over teakettle,” Nick says. “And we’re sort of mates and he’s leaving for tour soon and there’s no use not being nice.”

Aimee shakes her head, but generously allows him to change the subject. They stay for two more drinks, so Nick’s tipsy by the time he gets home. Monday telly is rubbish and there’s nothing on to distract him from overthinking everything. He starts to freak out about having Louis in his flat tomorrow, so he texts Harry.

Come over for your tea tomorrow. I’m going to cook for you and Louis.

Alright! What are we having?

Roast dinner?

Beef?

Obviously

Nick feels better knowing Harry will be there. Then it’s just a dinner amongst mates and everything is on the up and up.

Tuesday’s show is miles better than Monday’s. Nick’s anxious about dinner, but his nervous energy somehow makes the show feel exciting and unexpected. He stops at Waitrose on his way home and picks up supplies for dinner and a few bottles of wine.

He starts prepping the meat and veggies and turns up the volume on his music in an attempt to block out all the thoughts flying around his head. The volume’s up so high he almost doesn’t hear the doorbell. He turns down the music and heads toward the door, realizing a second too late he’s covered in flour. He opens the door for Louis whilst desperately brushing off the front of his shirt.

“Nick, if this is your way of asking for an apron for Christmas, it’s working.” Louis smiles at him, leans in and kisses him gently. Nick’s traitorous stomach does a flip at that and he lets Louis pull him in and deepen the kiss. Eventually he pulls away and drags Louis into the kitchen.

“You’re just trying to distract me so I burn the food, because you don’t want to believe what a great cook I am,” Nick says as he thrusts a wine glass into Louis’ hand.

“Why would I want this dinner to be any worse than it already will be?” Louis teases, hopping up on the counter and kicking his feet at Nick.

Louis seems relaxed and happy and Nick is glad he let him off the hook. He’s grinning at Nick and poking him with his bare toes whenever he gets close. Nick is lecturing him about proper kitchen hygiene when the bell rings. “Oh good, Harry’s here!”

“Harry’s here?” Louis asks, and the easy smile is gone, replaced by a furrowed brow.

“Well, yeah.” Nick says. “It’s a going away roast and you’re both going away.”

“Right, of course.” Louis says and Nick can’t read his face anymore, because he’s got the blank expression Nick knows he’s perfected for interviews. Nick wants to ask why he’s mad about his best mate coming for dinner, but Harry’s ringing the doorbell again.

Nick opens the door for Harry, who oozes in and wraps him in a hug. “Hi Nick! You alright?”

“I’m good, yeah.” Nick says. “Come in, Louis’ in the kitchen. I’ve left him in there alone, so who knows what he’s been up to.”

Harry’s not looking at him anymore, he’s staring over his shoulder looking concerned. Nick turns around and Louis is standing in the hallway in his coat and trainers.

“Um, I’ve just remembered I told mum I’d come to Doncaster tonight, so I’ve got to be off.” Louis’ voice sounds off, too high and controlled.

“You’ve just remembered you’ve got to go to Doncaster tonight?” Nick repeats. Harry is looking between him and Louis.

“Yeah, sorry mate.” Louis says, pushing past Nick and Harry with his head down. “See ya, Haz.”

The door slams behind him and Nick is just standing there staring at it, like it holds the answers to what in the hell just happened.

“Nick, did you tell Louis I was coming?” Harry asks.

“No, but you’re best mates, I didn’t think he’d mind!”

“Niiiiiiiiiiiiick,” Harry whines, glaring at Nick. “Lou’s a Christmas baby!”

“I don’t know what that means!” Nick yells back at him, but Harry is already heading towards the door.

“Nick, I have to go. I love you,” Harry says. “I’ll call you later.”

And then Nick is standing in his foyer alone. He has no clue what he’s done to chase both Harry and Louis out of his flat. Finally he calls Daisy to come over and help him eat his roast dinner, which now feels overwhelmingly large and sad.

He and Daisy are seated in his couch with their plates in their laps when Daisy finally acknowledges the elephant in the room. “Darling, are you going to tell me why you’ve made an entire roast dinner for yourself?”

“I didn’t make it for myself,” Nick says. “I made it for Louis and Harry, but they left.”

“They left? Has something happened?”

“I don’t know, do I?” Nick shoves his food around on this plate. “Harry showed up and then Louis left and then Harry left!”

Nick knows he’s leaving information out, but he’s starting to feel like he made a mess of things and he’s not quite ready to examine what that might mean. Daisy waits, delicately cutting into her potatoes.

“Louis didn’t know Harry was coming,” Nick whispers. “Louis didn’t know, because I didn’t tell him. I invited him at the last minute, because I was afraid Louis would figure out I’m falling in love with him.”

“Oh god, Nick, c’mere.” Daisy puts her plate on the floor and wraps her arms around Nick. “What’s wrong with him knowing that?”

“Because that’s not what we are!” Nick says, burying his face in her neck. “He’s going on tour and anyway he doesn’t feel that way.”

“Grimmy, how do you know he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know,” Nick says and extricates himself from the couch to refill their wine. The problem is that Nick doesn’t know how Louis feels, but he’s not sure he wants to hear either answer. If Louis doesn’t have any feelings for him it’ll hurt, probably a lot, but if Louis does, what then? He leaves for tour in three weeks and then what? It’s too much.

Nick drinks a bottle of wine by himself and begs Daisy to stay the night. He sleeps fitfully and he’s exhausted for the show. When he gets home he takes a nap on the couch and wakes up with fresh resolve. He texts Louis,

Can I come see you?

He doesn’t get a response right away, so he takes Pig for a walk. Louis responds while Nick is standing at the edge of the pond, watching Pig terrorize a group of ducks.

In rehearsal until 8

I could come by after?

Louis’ response doesn’t come for another 20 minutes, when Nick is towelling the mud off Pig.

Ok

Nick’s never been to Louis’ London flat, and he’s afraid to admit he doesn’t know where he is. He’s thinking about texting Harry when Louis texts him the address. Nick’s first instinct is to make a joke, but the situation feels precarious and he replies with a simple,

See you then.

Nick goes to tea at Pixie’s and he tries to pretend everything’s fine. She very kindly lets him. At 8 he hugs her goodbye and starts driving toward Louis’. It’s in Knightsbridge, so it takes 20 minutes to get there. He realizes as he’s parking he doesn’t know where they’re rehearsing, so Louis might not be home for a while.

He heads into the lobby, which is lush and austere. Nick finds himself whispering when he speaks to the concierge who calls up to Louis’ flat. He’s just telling Nick he’ll have to wait when Nick hears Louis come up behind him.

“S’alright, Tom, I can escort him.” Louis smiles at the concierge who nods politely. Nick follows him to a bank of elevators. Louis pushes the button and leans in to whisper, “I don’t think he likes me.”

They make polite small talk in the elevator. Nick asks about the rehearsals and Louis gives bog standard answers, as if they’re on the radio. It stabs Nick in the gut.

They finally get up to the penthouse and Nick almost laughs at how utterly Louis the flat is. It’s an open floorplan, with floor to ceiling windows that overlook the Thames. The furnishings are dead posh, but everything else looks like Louis exploded all over it. There’s at least three footballs that Nick can count, with kits and cleats strewn about. There’s a huge TV on the wall with a pile of Xbox games and controllers on the floor in front of it.

“I like your flat,” Nick says finally when he notices Louis looking at him.

“I don’t,” Louis says. “I wanted a place with a garden, but this’ll do. S’not like I’m ever here.”

“Right, so about that,” Nick stutters. They’re standing awkwardly by the kitchen, but Nick doesn’t know how to ask to sit down, so he just starts. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was inviting Harry.”

“No, mate, it’s alright,” Louis says, but he’s not meeting Nick’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have left, I overreacted.”

“Why did you leave?” Nick asks and Louis finally looks up at him.

“Why did you invite Harry?” Louis snaps and Nick goes a bit breathless. The things he came here to say, he’s not sure he can say.

“I was scared,” Nick eventually says and he wants to look away from Louis. Wants to look anywhere other than Louis’ steel blue eyes, but he forces himself to hold eye contact.

“Scared of what? Of me?”

“Yes. I mean, no.” Nick sighs. “I was scared of what I wanted from you.”

“And what is it that you want from me?” Nick’s aware, in that moment, of just how silent Louis’ apartment in. He can’t hear the noises of the city or the mechanical whir of the heat, just the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“I don’t know,” Nick says. “More. I wanted more.”

Louis looks like he’s about to cry. Nick doesn’t know what to do, so he just stands there with his hands at his sides.

“What’s wrong with what we’re doing now?” Louis says. “What we were doing?”

“Nothing! It’s just, I don’t know, you’re going on tour soon, which feels like a natural endpoint.”

“What?” Louis takes a step back and sits on the arm of a giant squishy armchair. “Why would it have to end? I’m only in South America for three weeks and then we’re doing Europe.”

“So, what, you just come over and shag on your breaks from touring the world?” Nick says, struggling to control his voice.

“What’s wrong with that?!”

“Nothing!” Nick has given up now, and it comes out high and shrill. “I just can’t do it is all!”

“Well, that’s that then,” Louis says, pulling at a thread on his trackies.

This hasn’t gone how Nick wanted at all, but he’s not sure there’s anything else to say. He starts toward the door, but stops and looks back at Louis. “Bye, Louis.” It feels final, like his heart is breaking.

Louis’ head snaps up at that and he stares at Nick for a second before scrambling towards him. Once he’s standing there he looks like he’s not quite sure to do next. Finally he whispers, “I’m sorry,” and leans forward to kiss him lightly.

Nick lets Louis press his lips lightly against his for a moment before he decides if this is his last kiss with Louis Tomlinson, he’s going to give it his all. He opens his mouth a bit and Louis follows him, sliding his tongue against Nick’s. Nick pulls him in and wraps his arms around him, putting everything he’s feeling into the kiss.

They kiss for so long his heart aches with it, but he can’t bring himself to stop. Louis seems just as gone as him, grabbing desperately at his coat and whimpering quietly. Finally Louis pulls back and looks up at Nick, his face flushed and his eyes dark. “Don’t leave. At least not yet.”

Nick knows what Louis’ asking for and it’s the best and worst thing he can imagine. He lets Louis lead him down the hallway into his bedroom. The bedroom in neat and the bed is made. Nick wonders if Louis thought this would happen. He wonders if Louis thought it would happen like this.

Nick undresses Louis slowly and reverently, taking the time to kiss every single piece of him. Louis is on his back in the middle of the bed and Nick is kissing his hipbones when Louis finally gets impatient and hisses, “Nick, enough.” Nick kisses him lightly on the mouth and digs the lube and a condom out of the bedside table.

Nick taps on Louis’ and hip and motions for him to flip onto his stomach, but Louis shakes his head. “No, like this.”

Nick slicks his fingers up and opens Louis up slowly and carefully. Normally Louis kicks and prods at him to go faster, but he just moans and opens his legs wider. When Nick finally feels like he’s ready he rolls the condom on and slicks himself up.

He props himself over Louis and lines up his cock when he notices Louis has a tear sliding down his cheek. “Oh god, Lou, did I hurt you?” Nick cups his face and wipes the tear away with his thumb.

“No, it’s fine.” Louis says, but Nick hesitates. “I’m fine, Nick. Just fuck me, yeah?” Louis kisses him and whispers, “I want this. I want you.”

Nick nods and pushes slowly inside. He keeps his eyes on Louis’ face, watching for signs of pain, but Louis just looks overwhelmed until he surges up to kiss him.

It’s started to rain and the pattering of the rain on Louis’ enormous windows gives the room a muffled, safe feeling. Nick is fucking into Louis with slow even strokes and he keeps kissing him, because the only alternative is saying the only thing running through his head, I love you I love you I love you.

Nick feels his orgasm start to coil in his gut and he reaches down to stroke Louis in time with his thrusts. Louis cries out as his spills over Nick’s hand and Nick follows a few thrusts later, burying his groan in the crook of Louis’ neck.

They stay like that, catching their breath. Louis has an arm wrapped around Nick’s neck. Finally Nick pulls out and gets up to dispose of the condom and grab a flannel. Louis is still lying in the same spot when Nick gets back. He sits at the edge of the bed.

“You could stay you know,” Louis says when he’s finished with the flannel and tosses it on the floor next to the bed.

“I know,” Nick says as he stands up and starts looking for his clothes. He gets dressed silently. He doesn’t look at Louis, but he can feel his eyes on him. When he’s dressed he looks over at Louis who’s sitting up, his knees drawn into his chest.

He wants to say something. Anything. He wants to tell Louis there are no hard feelings. He wants to tell him there’s nothing wrong with not loving him back. He has so many thing to say, but when he opens his mouth to speak his throat is constricted and he thinks he might be sick. Instead of saying anything he lifts his hand in an abortive half wave and leaves.

He sits in his car on the street for a long time, something about driving away feels final. Eventually he starts his car and drives home in silence. He feels numb. He falls into bed and let’s Pig up on the bed with him, curling around her and willing himself to fall asleep.

Nick has never been happier to be busy. Sweat The Small Stuff starts filming and he accepts more DJ gigs than he typically might. He gets his kitchen redone. His stove looks like modern art and he’s not sure he likes it. He goes to as many events as he can without Finchy putting his foot down.

Harry comes over a few days before he heads to LA before the start of tour. They eat take away and watch X-Factor and Harry doesn’t bring Louis up until he’s putting his coat on to leave.

“Nick, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but Louis never spends this much time in London.”

“Haz, don’t,” Nick says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Just think about it, ok?” He hugs Nick extra tight and heads out the door. “I miss you already!”

Thinking about it is the last thing Nick wants to do, so he watches telly until he falls asleep on the couch.

One Direction’s tour opens and Nick has to see Louis’ face splashed all over every website. Showbot keeps dropping questions about them and it makes Nick want to cancel the whole feature. He’s a professional though and he pretends it doesn’t stab him in the heart.

He hasn’t spoken to Louis in a month and the sharpness of the heartbreak has turned into a dull ache. He goes out with his friends and smiling starts to come easier. He finally collects all the clothes Louis left at his place in a box and puts it in the guest bedroom. Louis is a millionaire, so he could probably throw it all away, but somehow that feels wrong.

Two weeks after their tour starts Nick takes an American model home. He’s fit and the sex is good, but Nick finds himself distracted and doesn’t put up a fight when he makes moves to go home afterwards.

A few days after their South American leg ends Nick runs into Niall and Liam at a party. Niall is all smiles and Liam is polite but gives him the stink eye the entire night. Nick thinks maybe he was wrong about Liam being the nice one.

The next morning, during their second link Finchy is discussing his parent’s wedding anniversary.

“Forty years!” Nick exclaims. “How can you stand to look at another person for that long.”

“Sounds nice,” Fiona says.

“There’s no way!” Nick pushes his hair back from his forehead. “Sounds like a punishment.”

“Well, to be fair, you’re a bit afraid of commitment,” Finchy says, laughing playfully.

“I’m not afraid of commitment, it’s just that no one’s ever offered,” Nick replies. Finchy and Fiona coo appropriately at him and then thankfully move on.

He leaves the studio a couple hours later. He calls a taxi, because he’d stayed at Aimee & Ian’s the night before and hadn’t brought his car. It takes forever to get home, because traffic is awful and Nick regrets not taking the tube or walking. He could have at least bragged to his trainer about “finding any opportunity for exercise.”

Nick hops out of the back of the cab and he’s so engrossed in scrolling through Instagram he’s almost to his door when he notices Louis sitting on his steps. He’s in all black, and his hair is slicked back and perfect; Nick thinks he must have just come from an interview. He looks so utterly like Louis Tomlinson, Nick can’t believe his flat isn’t crawling with paps and teen girls. Nick stops dead in his tracks. He can’t think of anything to say. He’s spent a month imaging every imaginable scenario, but now that Louis is in front of him, he’s at a complete loss.

Louis speaks first, his voice soft, but cold. “Did you mean what you said?”

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific, love. I sort of say things for a living.” Nick has no idea what he’s on about, but bantering with Louis has always come as easy as breathing.

“Did you mean what you said today about no one ever offering you commitment?” Louis is looking at him icily, making no move to stand.

“Aw, peanut, were you listening?” That gets Louis moving. He stands and moves into Nick’s space accusingly. “Do not be cheeky with me, Nicholas. Were you taking the piss or did you mean what you said?”

Now that Louis is so close to him, Nick just wants to reach out run his fingers down his side. It’s been so long since he’s been able to touch him. He’s also furious. What right does Louis have to come to him after all this time and rub Nick’s nose in his failings? “I can’t imagine what difference it makes to you, but yes, I meant it.”

Louis let’s out a surprised little, “Oh,” and deflates. Without the backing of his indignation he looks so small. His eyes are wide, a trick of the light making them look wet. “Right. Of course. Well, I guess I’ll just be off.” Louis pushes by him, pausing for a moment to look up at him, blinking slowly. Nick thinks he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t. He just keeps walking.

It knocks the air out of Nick’s chest and he’s rooted to the spot as Louis crosses the street and climbs into the back of a black SUV Nick hadn’t noticed idling there. He stands on the street staring at the spot the SUV’s vacated until he realizes what he must look like and heads inside.

Nick slams around his kitchen for a few minutes, opening cabinets and staring at the contents before huffing his dissatisfaction and shutting them roughly. He feeds Pig and let’s her run around in the garden for a bit. The sun is bright on his skin and he curses London for so utterly failing to match his mood today of all days.

He’s furious at Louis for coming back and reopening the wound when it had finally started to heal. What right does he have to swoop back into Nick’s life and for what? Just to remind Nick he hadn’t been worth the commitment? It’s not fair.

Nick grabs his keys and stomps toward his front door. He throws it open aggressively, startling Louis who is standing there with his fist raised, ready to knock.

“Good! I was just coming to find you.” Nick says, stepping aside to let Louis in. He shuts the door, slams it really, crosses his arms and looks at Louis, who’s mirroring his body language and scowling at him. “Well, what’ve you got to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you,” Louis says.

“What?” Nick blurts out. “What does that mean?”

“It means I’m sorry that what I had to offer wasn’t enough for you.”

“And what’s that? Some shagging in secret whenever the mood strikes?”

Louis reacts as if he’s been slapped. “Is that… is that all it was to you?” Nick feels like he might be sick. “I know my life’s mad and I’m not out, but I did tell my friends about you.”

“Yeah, I still have the burns from Liam’s lazer eyes.” Nick smiles feebly.

“He wanted to fight you a bit.” Louis kicks at the floor weakly. “He wouldn’t have, Liam’s a puppy, but he was pretty mad at you for breaking my heart.”

Nick let’s out a tiny whimper. “I was in love with you,” he whispers. “It just didn’t seem like that was what you wanted.”

“That’s not...” Louis says and takes a deep breath. “I’m away so much, I didn’t... I don’t know how to be more.” He stops and then says, “I loved you too, you know.”

A laugh bubbles out of Nick’s mouth and he doubles over, laughter erupting out him. “Well, this is just great. We both love each other, but we’re both idiots and it doesn’t even matter.”

“I said I loved you, I didn’t say I still love you.” Nick looks up at him horrified, but Louis is smiling.

“Oh my god, you little terror, that is not funny.” Nick gapes at him, his heart pounding.

“It’s a little funny.”

“But where does that leave us? You’re still on tour.”

“Can’t we just try?” Louis says, his voice wobbling. “So what if we get hurt? It hurts already. It hurts so much.”

Nick finally crosses the room and pulls Louis into a hug. Louis isn’t crying, but he is sniffling rather pathetically into Nick’s shirt. “Yeah, alright.”

“Really?” Louis looks up at him. He’s smiling and Nick just melts.

“This is probably a huge mistake,” Nick says. “You’re a ridiculous pain and you’re much too young for me.”

“I like it that you’re old,” Louis says. “That way I know you’ll always be too tired to step out on me.”

Nick kisses him then and it’s even better than he’d remembered. It’s not even their best kiss, because they both keep smiling and breaking their rhythm. Louis pulls back and starts herding him towards the lounge, his little hands shoving against Nick’s back. They reach the sofa, and Louis shoves him onto it, but in his eagerness misjudges the distance and sends Nick toppling to the floor.

Nick glares at Louis, who laughs maniacally and looks absolutely delighted before dropping down and planting himself between Nick’s legs. He pulls gracelessly at Nick’s belt and barely manages to get his trousers halfway down his thighs before he takes Nick into his mouth. There’s no teasing or build-up, he just sucks Nick down until he’s hit the back of this throat and then bobs up and down until Nick’s entire cock is sloppy and slick.

Louis is moaning desperately and he splays one hand across Nick’s belly and wraps the other one around his cock. He pulls quickly, and sucks on the head, swirling his tongue around it, making Nick buck up helplessly. He’s so turned on, just having Louis near him again, it’s not long before he’s gasping out a warning. Louis pulls back a bit and wanks him until he’s coming across Louis’ tongue and chin. It’s unbearably filthy and hot.

Nick’s limbs are still slack from orgasm, but he manages to pull Louis to him and kiss him silly. His heart feels so full it could burst, and Louis, normally so pushy and impatient, seems content to lay with him, kissing softly.

When he’s finally recovered he props himself against the sofa and pulls Louis into his lap. He struggles to undo the flies of Louis’ outrageously tight jeans, but finally manages to get his cock out. Louis is already wet at the tip and Nick wanks him slowly while Louis stares at him, gasping softly. Nick is so overwhelmed by how beautiful he looks in that moment he thinks he might cry, which is a little horrifying.

Louis is just watching him, looking overwhelmed and he whispers, “God, Nick.” And Nick gets it, he really does.

Nick notices a bit of cum on Louis cheek and he catches it with his thumb and pushes it slowly into his mouth. Louis moans around his thumb and tips his head back, his eyes slipping shut. He comes soon after that, shuddering and burying his face in Nick’s neck.

They lay on the floor until Nick’s muscles are starting to protest, but he doesn’t really ever want to move.

“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” Louis whispers from where he’s nuzzling sleepily into Nick’s shoulder.

“Why would THAT change my mind?” Nick laughs, then turns serious. “No, I haven’t changed my mind, but we do need to talk. You’re leaving in a week.”

“I’m going to Dublin, don’t be so dramatic.” Louis elbows him.

“OK, I’ve changed my mind about changing my mind.”

“You haven’t. You’re obsessed with me,” Louis declares. Nick grimaces, but kisses him softly.

They eventually get off the floor, Nick’s joints creaking mutinously. He leaves Louis on the couch in order to pick up Pig from Aimee’s and get some take away. When he gets home he hears Louis talking on his phone in the lounge.

“Ok, that’s good,” Louis says, noticing Nick. “Mum, I’ve got to go, my boyfriend just got here and he’s brought gyros.” Louis smiles at something his mum says. “Yeah, it did. Uh huh. Ok, I’ll ask him. Love you, bye.”

“Mum wants you to come to the Manchester show so she can meet you.” Louis tosses his phone on the couch and approaches Nick cautiously. “You don’t have to, but you could, if you wanted.”

“Me? You mean your boyfriend?” Nick smirks at Louis and reaches out for him.

“Yes, my boyfriend,” Louis says, rolling his eyes. “What is there a new word for it now?”

“Several actually, but boyfriend is fine.”