Work Text:
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
I am calling to tell you that I am done with your order. Please come retry it at your earliest convenience. The shop is open from Monday to Friday from 8 AM to 6PM. I will see you then.
Goodbye."
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
I am done with your order. Like last time, I expect to see you during this week for you to pick it up. I assume you are aware of the shop's opening hours.
Have a nice day."
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
You can come pick up your order anytime as I am already done with it. I am not sure as to why you need so many Pepper Up potions and Cough potions. Do you, perhaps, get sick every other week? Are you that paranoid to get so many potions for the day that you will become sick? But, what will you do with your thousands of potions then? Where do you even keep them? Forget it, this is not my business, I am sorry Potter, I do not mean to pry. I am sure you have a very good, very genuine reason to buy all these particular potions. Although, I very much understand your need to buy so many Sleekeazy's Hair potion. Must be a very tough life to live, with hair like yours. Do you even put some in your hair? Because it does not very much seem like you do. I am sorry to say this Potter, but your hair is a grand mess. There is no other word for it. I do not say this to hurt your feelings, it is simply true.
Anyway, as I remind you every time, I must tell you again that my shop is open only until 6PM Potter and not 6:40PM. I may still be in the shop at this hour, but I do not have any obligation to open the door for you. As I tell you everytime, I have an owl which can deliver you your order. If you choose to pick up your products yourself, please, at least be on time.
Goodbye, Potter."
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
Don't you ever know how to pick up the phone? It is exhausting, having to listen to your awful voicemail greeting everytime. Seriously, you need to change it. You did not even record it at home, I can hear hundred Weasley's voices on it. Oh, I get it now, this is why you never answer me when I call, you wish to torture me! Well, let me tell you, it is working.
Anyway, as you probably expect, I am done with your order. Please come by soon. I was also surprised to see that you changed your order for the first time. I did not wish to embarrass you Potter. Please continue to buy some hair potion, as it certainly does serve its purpose. I can see it now. I am sorry for everything I said, please buy some soon Harry. Seriously. Also, I must congratulate you on being on time last time, you came in a minute before I normally close the shop! What an accomplishment, I did not tell you then, but I was proud of you. This time though, please come by at least ten minutes early, I insist.
See you, Potter."
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
I almost cried in joy when I heard your new voicemail greeting! Here I was, almost hanging up the phone when I realized that you were not picking up the damn phone again, when I heard the most beautiful thing. That is, not a voice belonging to a Weasley. You did it, Potter! You finally changed your greeting! Such joy! You can not understand how happy I am right now to know that I will never have to hear that awful thing you used as a greeting before. Thank you Potter, for you are a true Saviour and I can finally acknowledge it. This title belongs to you, and only you.
Have the most wonderful day, Potter."
" Hello Potter.
I forgot to tell you to come pick up your order, but I guess you have guessed that was the reason I called. Seriously though, good job Potter, my mind is finally at ease, I will never be afraid to call you again."
"Hello Potter, this is Malfoy.
You guessed right, your order is waiting for you. You said you would come by at 5, it is almost 6, Harry. Hurry up before I kill you. You know I have to go see Teddy after I close the shop. Hurry the fuck up!"
"Potter.
Where are you? I am tired of waiting for you every single time! Also, what are you even going to do with a Draught of Peace? You are not the type to get anxious about work. Do you plan to ask someone out or something? Teddy told me you certainly were going to do so, but it's been weeks, and you never said anything. If you were dating someone, you would tell me, no...? Also, never tell your secrets to little kids, Potter, their mouth do not have a filter. They only know how to babble. Anyway, I am waiting."
"Potter.
I am sorry I ran away. Please pick up your phone...?"
"Harry! Where are you? I've been waiting for ages! Please tell me you have no complications at work, I miss you and I want to see you. Also, I am extremely hungry right now so hurry Harry. Hurry, for I will die soon if I do not see you walk through the door in the next ten minutes!"
"Harry.
When will you learn how to reply to my calls? I need you to buy a cake for me before coming home. You know which one. I've made some lasagna, but I crave sugar. I want a cake, Harry. The cake.
Do not be late."
"Harry.
Do you really expect us to spend Christmas at the Weasley's? Seriously? Harry, I need to know if you were serious when you told me that Mother Weasley was expecting us for Christmas. Please, do not do this to me, Harry. Please. I will not survive. Surely, I will not. To be surrounded by so many Weasleys, I think my heart will just drop. Do I really have to go? I mean, do we really have to go? Don't you think it will be better to spend Christmas just the two of us? Oh, how romantic it will be! Think about it, Harry. We'll have dinner together, there will be candles, Harry, there will be snow and I'll put on some music. We'll dance together and we will be able to touch and kiss each other however we want, as there will be, I repeat, only the two of us! Wouldn't it be wonderful, Harry? Think about it. Think about me, waiting under the tree, wearing whatever suits your fantasies. I am all ears, Harry. I will do anything."
"...I hate you.
Also, I hate you."
"Harry.
I just wanted to tell you that I love you. Be careful as always. I cannot wait to see you again next week. Teddy misses you as well. You know how he gets when you have to go abroad for work. You'd say something like, Draco, you'll be worse than Ted and you'd be right. I can't function without you anymore Harry Potter. I lay down at night and I wish you were here spooning me. I miss your ridiculous face, I miss your disgusting smell after a day at work, and I miss your terrible singing voice. I just miss you.
Good night, Harry. I love you."