Chapter Text
[ knights of the square table ]
[new messages at 12:04am]
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: @GOTTAGOFAST hey, dyu have a visual on obi???
sexy and i know it: i’ve lost sight of him
GOTTAGOFAST: you lost him?!?!?
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan where’d you go boo?
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: @oBABE-wan
sexy and i know it: i lost him
GOTTAGOFAST: satine is going to fucking kill you man
[new messages at 5:39am]
oBABE-wan: oh shit oh shit oshit
oBABE-wan: fuck
oBABE-wan: I’n fuckd
[new messages at 10:43am]
sexy and i know it: HOLY SHIT OBI!!!
sexy and i know it: SCORE!!!!!!!
sexy and i know it: you bagged yourself a FETT
sexy and i know it: i’m so jealous they’re so fucking hot my dude
sexy and i know it: i’m so proud of you
[sexy and i know it changed oBABE-wan’s name to no longer a virgin]
no longer a virgin: Virginity is a social concept in which is used to judge our worth as a person
no longer a virgin: Besides, we both know that I’ve no stranger to sex
sexy and i know it: but you are new to sex with a stranger
no longer a virgin: Quinlan
no longer a virgin: Please stop, I am very hungover and not in the mood
[ welcome to the dumpster fire ]
[new messages at 11:55pm]
King: guess who I just saw leaving the party with a pretty redhead
aGREEable: SPILL!!
King: Cody, that’s who
Woofle: i don’t believe you
I’m a Fox not a Lion: … Our Cody?
I’m a Fox not a Lion: Leaving a party with a stranger???
I’m a Fox not a Lion: Not likely
King: It’s more likely than you’d think!!
[King uploaded an image]
[ID: a blurry photo, taken from a phone and zoomed in. It’s Cody passionately making out with a shorter redhead of unidentifiable gender in tight pants - Cody’s hands are on the other person’s waist, while the redhead has their arms thrown around Cody’s shoulders and is pushed up against the wall.]
I’m a Fox not a Lion: I seem to have been proven wrong
Crippling Gay: Oh wow
Bac Street Boy: Holy shit
aGREEable: lookat him go!
Woofle: I’m actually proud
Woofle: Good for him
[new messages at 8:21am]
[King changed the chat name to YOOOOOOO!]
King: The absolute mad lad
King: He did it
King: He’s also very hungover and
King: shit he’s crying