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The night sky has always seemed like a promise of freedom, but it gets lonelier as the years pass. Cold black-blue with burning lights forever out of reach, forever a reminder of goals he cannot obtain and people he cannot get back. The scars never ache like this during the day.
The fire flickers quietly, dense branches layered tight around a softly humming Fire materia. A cheat Cloud thinks he learned in the infantry, when away missions were miserable and supplies always short. A less-than-cruel commanding officer, telling him it gave more heat for less fuel than just lighting a fire. Just be careful, she'd said, when reaching for the materia after. It'll burn you if you're careless. All pretty things will.
The vibrant red of the materia in the branches is alluring in its own way, but not as much as the light it casts on his only fireside companion. The rich color gleams tenfold hitting the dense fur, glinting off claws and feathers. Nanaki sits gracefully, elbows in and neck arched, like a cat. Cloud knows he's much more, but the parallel evolution is hard to unsee. Especially when that ember-tipped tail flicks a little, noticing his stare.
"Something on your mind?" Polite, always, but there's an undercurrent to it now. Discomfort, maybe? Cloud wonders how often people in their groups have stared at him less kindly, put off by the other-ness of a living soul who walks on four feet and not two.
"Mm." Folding one leg up to rest his arm across, he lets it sit. Words don't come easily, never have. It's not Cloud's forte and he's usually stubborn about it when pressed. Sometimes, though, it's worth it to try. Digging around for the right pieces, like paper scraps in a hat, to string into something meaningful. "Your fur. It's pretty," he finally says. Blunt enough to bruise, maybe. Cloud's not sure. Would take it back, in the silence after, but the widening of the one golden eye turned his way doesn't read as offended. Surprised, maybe something softer.
"I...thank you." Bell-shaped ears twist on Nanaki's head, making him look unsure.
Neither speaks again, but the leonine eye stays settled on Cloud, even when he looks away. Maybe it was a mistake. The stars don't help him decide, no matter how long he looks. The silence holds. Cloud wonders if this will be another of the many things forgotten in the losses and dirt and blood of their work on this planet. They've had enough of those already, fleeting laughter or smiles in a town they come back to find burning. Memories regained at the cost of everything they made meaningful. The Planet is bleeding and the pain runs through everything in spiderweb cracks.
The threat of falling under that lingering hurt is thick enough to startle, when Nanaki's voice breaks the silence.
"What did you mean?" Soft, almost longing. Like it was a guilty impulse to even ask.
Wide mako-tinged eyes fly back over, Cloud's mouth parting. "Huh?"
A ripple of muscle under the smooth red fur, making black markings briefly dance. For all his usual candor, Nanaki is turned away. Is he nervous? "What you said, I... was wondering."
Cloud can't help staring a little. It's not new, to see the planet guardian showing emotion, but there's a shy vulnerabilty to the turn of his face, and that tugs somewhere in Cloud's chest. It shouldn't be so surprising, being complimented. It makes words flow where he usually can't find them.
"You're beautiful." Soft, half-breath on his tongue. "Redder than fire. It's hard not to stare."
The pin of Nanaki's golden stare makes Cloud's pulse jolt, like he might have gone a step too far. He hopes not. The guardian has been a good friend to him, these awful days. A good ally.
"You sound like you're talking to a person. As if you believe it." The words are so wistful, Cloud almost doesn't get it. The eerie stare, the delicate fold of Nanaki's forepaws at odds with the faint longing of his voice. It's easy to forget, as strong as he is, that Nanaki is just a boy of his own people. Easy to forget until now, lonely and unsure, under a vast and unreachable sky.
"You are a person." He's sure of that when he's sure of nothing else. That the soul in that golden eye is kinder and stronger than his own could ever be. "I don't lie about that."
Silence, again. No one looks away. The quiet fire thrums with red light between them, and Cloud holds his breath. Releases it in a shaky puff when Nanaki stands and walks closer. A graceful stride, sleek and predatory across the camp and into the space between Cloud's legs. It might be the closest they've ever been, outside of battle; breath hot and pleasantly scentless washes over his face as Nanaki watches him. Cloud knows could lean away, or press a hand to the powerful chest to keep Nanaki at bay. Hel, if he were really unsure, he could reach for the buster sword set within arms' length to his bedroll.
His hand lifts to find the velvet curve of Nanaki's cheek instead. What it says about him, Cloud doesn't know. Doesn't know if he cares, when that amber eye slides closed on a barely-audible noise, lonely enough to ache. A massive, powerful skull with jaws that can crush bone, but Nanaki leans into the touch like he's starved for affection, and Cloud thinks he understands. They're fighting more than one war, out here in the steppes and the swamps.
"C'mere," he says softly, leaning back on his bedding, eyes almost teal and hands cradling Nanaki's skull. The massive leonine form follows him. How anyone mistakes him for an animal, Cloud doesn't know. There's so much consideration in the hesitant steps of long legs to either side of Cloud's chest and thighs, trying not to hurt him. Hesitant, even when invited to be close. Cloud strokes his thumbs over the broad, proud cheekbones, holds his breath Nanaki chases the touch and rumbles deep and velvet-soft in response.
He doesn't ask, lets Nanaki make the decision. There's a bizarre jolt of thrill and relief all at once, when the massive body lowers of its own accord, settling thick muscle and dense, soft fur down onto Cloud's body. A living blanket, warmer than any materia. Without the mako enhancements, it might hurt - Nanaki's graceful, but heavier than he looks - but Cloud is comfortable. Breathes out and crooks a half-smile despite himself, stroking his face a little more. He lets himself shiver when Nanaki's muzzle turns to nose at the skin of his inner wrist. Sensitive, from so much time covered in leather, tender under hot breath and the proximity of teeth. It doesn't make him want to pull away, so he doesn't.
The first curl of a long, rasping tongue makes his eyes flutter close, exhaling through his mouth at the damp, strangely hot touch. Does all of Nanaki burn the way his tail-light does?
"Is it alright?" Whisper soft, mouth still up against his skin. Cloud lets his eyes fall open, a little hazy, too comfortable by miles with how warm he feels right now.
"Mm. S'okay." There's permission here, building up like a tide, so he strokes his hand back, careful not to yank out the pretty ornaments as he strokes down Nanaki's mane. The muscle under all that fur ripples and Cloud might love it a little too much. Enough to do it again, digging his fingertips into the tension built there. Nanaki makes a choked cough and the big body arches, trying to press into Cloud's palm. Not an animal, but a little bit of a cat, he thinks fondly.
The velvet furred muzzle tickles his wrist, his inner arm. Long tongue rasping the skin inside his elbow, making Cloud's breath catch. He doesn't stop petting Nanaki in firm strokes, massaging out the knots in his proud neck and shoulder. He's so warm that Cloud's hand tingles after a few minutes. Stubborn, he keeps at it, and doesn't pull away at the drag of rough tongue up the muscle of his bicep. It feels incredible, soothing a bruise he keeps buried under many other wounds, but loneliness never heals right and Cloud's tired of walking on injuries. It's just affection, he tells himself. Nanaki needs it. It's just for tonight.
His body makes a liar out of him long before his mouth does.
There's pressure on his leg from something, and he hasn't thought about it, but it's getting heavier the more he drags his fingertips up and down the muscle of Nanaki's neck, working out the aches. It doesn't make a difference until it suddenly does. His leg shifts, thigh pushing up a bit, and Nanaki yelps, powerful body jolting from the friction.
"Nn? You okay?" Cloud's voice sounds husky and strange, not like himself. Worry that Nanaki's in pain overrides the thought before it can bloom.
"I - I apologize, it is - a biological reaction." The words are muttered into the wool covering Cloud's inner shoulder, stiff and ashamed. He blinks, reaches to cup the side of Nanaki's muzzle, and realizes about ten steps too late why the young guardian is holding half his body up and away.
"Ah." Quiet, absentminded. It should be more of a surprise, but... comfort is comfort. Before the blur of Zack's memories mingled with his own, Cloud might not've understood. Now, after all the blood and losses of the last year, he doesn't have the energy to be shocked. Doesn't want to, either.
"Hey." A gentle squeeze of the hand still on fur. There's a trembling in that strong body and he doesn't like it. "It's okay. We're okay."
There's a low whine, a shockingly emotional sound, and breath washes over his neck as Nanaki turns in against him. Trying to be close while holding himself away. He's so young. Unbothered, Cloud frees a hand and strokes slowly down the ruby-red pelt, taken with how the color shimmers between his fingers, how the boy inside the fur leans into the touch. They're not doing anything wrong, he thinks, and believes it.
"Tell me if you dislike it," murmured into the dark mane by his face. His hand keeps moving under Nanaki's ribs, easing further down. There's a jolt as he pets over downy stomach fur, a low rumble breathed into his neck, but Nanaki doesn't stop him. Cloud takes it for what it is, and slides his hand lower.
It's hot. Slippery with some internal fluid, almost delicate when the tip slides over his palm. Panting breaths hitch where they're dampening his neck and he feels the whine as much as hears it. The body above his is trembling, and Cloud exhales, curls his fingers into a loose fist and cups the head of Nanaki's length. It prompts a tentative thrust, wet and sticky, and he hums approval. Lets the younger boy shyly fuck into his hand, learning the touch of another person. He's not shaped like a human, but Cloud doesn't mind. Leaves his grip loose, noting the delicate tip and the bulge lower down as they slide across his skin. A little excited at the growing slickness, evidence that it feels good. There's no precedent in his mind for this feeling, but it's good, he thinks. It's good.
He's so focused on bringing his friend pleasure, Cloud almost misses the delicate nosing up his jaw at first. Nanaki's breath is so warm, smells of mint and warm tongue and nothing at all. He's not sure why that makes it easier to turn into, until their noses brush.
"Can I," the feline starts, voice breaking on a sharper thrust of his hips. The pleasure is new, and it's hard to focus through; whatever it is must matter, but Cloud's still not prepared for the soft request rasped against his cheek. "Can I kiss you?"
He doesn't ask his first question, of whether they'll be able to manage it. They're managing other things just fine. If it doesn't work, they'll try something else. Cloud's eyes are still gentle when he hums, nuzzles against Nanaki's face, and rasps, "Yeah, alright."
It's weird, at first, but incredibly sweet. Clumsy touches of nose and lips to the vague region of his mouth. The boy doesn't know what he's doing, and Cloud's no lothario, but he tries to teach him. Kisses Nanaki's mouth gently, licks at the tooth that catches his lips, doesn't mind it when it stings. Even different, it's nice. Makes him flushed and shivery under the body pinning him down, squeezing tighter around the slick cock in his hand. Nanaki whines and Cloud kisses him again, and wonders if he's allowed to like something this much. He usually loses whatever he loves.
He's still mostly dressed, but feels somehow seduced. Lips tingling when he parts them enough for Nanaki to lick inside, fingers tingling and sensitive from the wet friction of helping stroke him off, heartrate picking up. His hips ache pleasantly and it's tempting. It'd be easy to undo his pants, pull himself out and stroke in time with the frantic, inexperienced thrusts as Nanaki fucks into his hand a little faster, swells a little bigger in his grip. It'd be easy, but he doesn't. Cloud wants this feeling too much, the messy warmth and hunger for touch. Doesn't want to be distracted by his own pleasure when Nanaki shows him what nobody else has seen. So he squeezes, and sucks at the long, pointed tongue in his mouth, and feels absurdly smug when the other boy jolts and slams his hips down harder.
It doesn't last. He didn't expect it to, but it's still satisfying as Nanaki comes apart against him. Swelling up thick and burning hot, fluid trickling down Cloud's wrist and spattering his pants and bedding, a soft strained whine against his face and then it's done. An impressive knot stretching his fingers wide and sharp teeth pressed harmless to the skin of his cheek as Nanaki shudders and comes all over Cloud's lap. His first instinct shouldn't be to want to lick up some of the mess, but it is. He can't be fucked to feel bad about it. Strokes the side of Nanaki's head and hums to him gently instead, knows the aftermath is overwhelming the first time.
"Cloud." It's whispered so softly, he has to blink, but Cloud likes it. Likes the way emotion holds the name in Nanaki's mouth. It's easy to turn his face and kiss the side of the boy's muzzle, easy and thoughtless, and Nanaki shivers against him.
"Need me to hold on?" Mumbled low, keeping his fingers snug around the swell of Nanaki's length. He remembers the way wolves would tie when mating their pair-bonds. He gets it. From the backwards flick of Nanaki's ears, maybe it's a surprise that he does.
"That - please. It's still..." Embarrassed, unable to say out loud what they both know. There's still come dripping off him, soaking Cloud's clothes with more and more of it, until even his enhanced-but-still human nose can pick it up. It's not bad. Musk and salt, something like embers burning. It makes the wet fabric cling to his dick, still hard against his thigh; it'd probably be enough for lube, actually. Cloud barely thinks it before his free hand is finally sliding down, tugging at his belt.
"Oh - you're?" Nanaki asks, and Cloud grunts, eyes squeezing shut on the first jolt of palming himself. The body against his pulls back a little, neck arching to look, and Cloud is startled by how much he likes the idea. Likes the shiver of Nanaki's fur as he stares, trying to see better. He's probably never seen a human naked. Maybe it's weird looking. Cloud doesn't think about that, shoves his pants down under his ass with a twist of his hips. The air is cold but all that matters is how hard he is, how Nanaki's cock pulses in one hand and his own mirrors it in the other, the slick heat of spunk dribbling down on him.
The first stroke makes him moan, and he's lost to it immediately. Strokes fast and a little careless, giving up finesse for friction, nerves singing under his skin. Nanaki's come is good enough lubricant for this and it's easy, it's so easy. Eyes shut, mouth falling open, Cloud lets himself feel. Lets himself want, slick noises echoing, breath getting rough. It's a wonderfully simple thing. Stomach and pelvis tight, toes curling in his boots, a headlong flash of raw excitement and that moment of startled falling into the flash of pleasure, his body wringing itself out. White, blank, blessedly weightless. The aftermath is soft.
He's floating when a ticklish feeling makes him stir. Once, then again; blinks blue eyes open and stares downwards muzzily, barely absorbing for a solid minute as Nanaki tenderly licks him clean. The leonine boy is twisted carefully to the side, feline spine curved, to keep himself tied to Cloud's hand while gently lapping up some of the mess. It makes a noise catch in Cloud's throat. Soft, sweet despite the inherent mess of the act. Nanaki's tongue slides between his fingers, touches him tenderly, and Cloud murmurs softly to him as they both come down from it. Couldn't pin down what he said, but it feels gentle and Nanaki rumbles back, and it's good.
Typically, after this kind of encounter, there's an awkward putting-away moment. Cloud half expects it, but nothing happens. He shoves his dirty clothes off and to the side, leaves them to wash in running water tomorrow. It'd be too cold to sleep nude, but Nanaki presses into his legs, his chest, sprawling half over his body in an endearingly possessive show of affection. There's no difference between the cleanliness of his hands, but Cloud still finds the half-awake brain to lick his fingers while Nanaki rumbles at him. It tastes like it smells, like what's all over his skin, and he likes it. His body feels weightless and tingly under Nanaki's thick fur, anchored in warmth; the light from the materia still making them both glow. Pretty things will burn you, someone once told him, but it feels like he's gotten away with it, just this once.
Long moments later, Nanaki murmurs a near-soundless, "thank you," as Cloud starts to doze. He's too muzzy to work his mouth, reaches up with his other hand instead. Fingers burying themselves easily in the thick, silky mane down the boy's neck, squeezing a little. It's an answer, maybe more. The rest, he can figure out later.