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This isn’t how he expected to die.
He’s thought about death before, because of course nearly dying has been a constant in their line of work, saving the world (and now the galaxy)- but he never thought death would be a bright white shape with a massive face, leering at him, taunting him, as he struggles in her grip.
He never thought it would hurt this much either. In all the books he’s read, all the movies he’s seen, the characters never seem like they’re in any pain. They’re even okay enough to talk as they slip away peacefully, being held by a friend or a loved one, but he feels nothing but pain as her fingers squeeze his body.
He doesn’t scream, and he doesn’t bother begging for his life- the little consciousness he retains through the blinding pain as she grasps his gemstone with her nails and tugs hard has left him with enough sense to realize that it is far, far too late for any of that. Time seems to slow as the fingers suspending him in the air separate, and suddenly he’s falling through the air so fast he can’t breathe...
Halfway to the ground, Steven Quartz (Diamond?) Universe closes his eyes as a pink light begins to shine above him. He doesn’t want to know what will happen next- as he hurtles to his death, he realizes he no longer needs to care.
Pink Diamond’s first feeling in nearly fifteen years is that something is very, very, very wrong, but as she springs into her form and floats gracefully to the ground, she can’t quite put her finger on what that something is-
Oh no. That something wrong is her.
Automatically, a million questions fly uninvited into her mind. Why has she reformed? Where is the child she was supposed to be fused with? What do they look like? Can she find them? (She’s pretty sure the one in the brown jacket, being restrained by a Pearl, isn’t her child, though she can’t be entirely sure- the girl looks too young to be her Nora.)
Wait a second. That’s her Pearl holding that wriggling human child back, and those are her other friends, the few that survived the war, but something looks wrong with them. They don’t have any color, and they’re all wearing the same blank, eerie smile, staring at something behind her. Blue and Yellow Diamond, equally as blank, stand behind them.
“Now that’s our Starlight! Did you think you could hide in that human boy forever?”
She feels like she’s going to- what was that human term? Vomit. She feels like she’s going to vomit as her eyes finally land on a second human, this one lying motionless as his blood stains White’s spotless floor. Oh, fuck.
They’re in White’s head, which hadn’t left Homeworld for three thousand years before she started the rebellion, which means…
They’re on Homeworld. They’ve been found out and captured. It’s over.
“Now, Starlight, what do you have to say for yourself? Your little game is over, and I can assure you that you won’t be playing any more tricks on us, dear.” Pink turns in time to see White’s eyes flicking towards the human boy on the floor- the one that still hasn’t moved a muscle, he doesn’t even look like he’s breathing, what did she do to him- and it clicks.
That’s Steven. That’s her baby on the floor, looking dead, and oh stars she has to help him-
“Don’t try to help him, Starlight. There’s nothing to be done, and it’s your fault that he ended up like this!”
“ NO! You have to help him, you have to f-” The human girl had temporarily wiggled her mouth away from Pearl’s hand to give a shout, but the hand quickly returns to cover the child’s face, far more tightly this time.
Pink Diamond takes a step towards her son.
“Stars, you were never very good at listening, were you? I said no, Pink. Don’t take another step towards that abomination!”
White is right about one thing- she never has been very good at that whole ‘following directions’ thing. She takes another step.
“That’s it!” White light is blasting towards her, towards Steven, and before she even realizes it, she’s summoned her own shield for the first time in 6,000 years.
Not that shield, the one she’d willed herself to create when she became Rose Quartz permanently, but her original one- a barrier of jagged, opaque, pink hexagons that sends White’s beam bouncing back to a corner of the room.
“Starlight, what are you doing?! I’m only trying to help you behave! If you won’t better yourself, I’ll do it FOR YOU! ”
“I don’t want your help.”
“What did you say?!”
“I… don’t. Want. Your. HELP! ”
Thousands of years of anger suddenly manifest in her mind, and the floor craters as energy floods out of her and into a geometric dome, fully surrounding Pink and her son, who moans in pain as the wave sweeps over him and their friends. Somewhere beyond the walls of their new sanctuary, she hears a thump as White hits the floor. She ignores it all in favor of her son.
Steven curls further into himself but opens his eyes to face his mother.
“M-Mama… you’re hurting them…”
She rushes to close the distance between them, dropping the dome as she scoops her son into her lap. He’s so small - even smaller than the human girl, who’s finally escaped Pearl’s grasp entirely and is sprinting towards them.
“You… you l-lied to them. Why? Why did you fight for Earth at all? Why did you leave me to fix everything?” So he already knew about her. She doesn’t have time to ask how, because he’s now gasping for air in her arms, and the light is rapidly fading from his sad, tired eyes.
He looks a lot like Greg- same cheeks, same nose, same lips- but she sees plenty of herself in him too as she gently runs her hand through his curly hair, and stares into eyes that match her own.
He’s beautiful and perfect, and he deserves answers.
“Steven…” She doesn’t even know where to begin in explaining herself, but she takes a deep breath and starts anyway. “It really did start because I love Earth, but then it became so much more than that. I chose to defend the planet because it was freedom, not just for myself, but for thousands of gems! I wanted my gems to have a place to be whatever they wanted, to love whoever they wanted!” She’d been growing more excited as she spoke, the thrill of fighting for freedom once again infecting her, but the feeling quiets suddenly. “And then the corruption happened, and it wasn’t freedom anymore. So many friends and soldiers I’d fought with for the earth, just… destroyed. But even after it was too late to turn back and go home, even after we’d lost nearly everyone- I knew the Earth still had to be worth it. It was all we had left. The lie about me stuck at first because I didn’t know if we had spies within the Crystal Gems, but then once the corruption happened, I kept the lie because I was scared, Steven. I hid behind a new identity because I was scared that if I even mentioned Pink Diamond ever again, we’d somehow be found out and lose the Earth altogether. I didn’t want Garnet and Amethyst to know because I was scared that they’d see me as a monster. I… dammit, I’m a coward, that’s why I lied.”
She takes another breath.
“As for you… I promise you weren’t made to fix my mistakes, okay? I was still so dumb and naive after all that time, thinking that Homeworld had just… given up on Earth after so long. I thought we were safe, darling. I thought that if they hadn’t come back after six thousand years, then they never would.” His breathing is becoming even more labored as his blood pours from his stomach, where their gem should be, onto her clothing, and suddenly the human girl is there, holding her son’s hand. “Steven. My sweet, brave boy. We’re running out of time, but I need to tell you one more thing, okay?” She doesn’t wait for a response as she lifts him to press their foreheads together. “I meant it when I said we can’t both exist. I have to go now, but please know that it was all worth it- all the fighting, a new identity, everything that’s happened- it’s all been worth it because you get to exist. You have to keep existing, okay?” She expects tears and resistance but earns a smile and a delirious giggle from him instead.
“Okay.” His eyes, though still sad, now radiate understanding and love, too.
She stands with her baby boy in her arms and laughs along, twirling around the room as tears of joy stream from her eyes. Her gem begins to glow.
“I love you.”
As the light fades, Steven Universe stands, healed and whole.