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Technically, technically, this isn’t the worst thing to happen to him.
For starters, Hyunsuk could be failing his classes (just one, and he knows the professor would scale it up to a curve anyway, so he isn’t too worried), he could be allergic to so many things all at once (sorry, Byounggon hyung), and he isn’t being chased by some weird ass fucking bear in the woods. (Seriously. He needs to stop falling asleep on the couch with NatGeo in the background.)
So having a massive crush on your roommate isn’t all that bad, right?
...Right?
“Hyunsukie,” he hears Jinyoung from outside his room. The door clicks open. “Hey.”
Hyunsuk looks up from where he’s cocooned himself in two layers of blankets in his bed. Jinyoung’s head is peeking through the door, one hand resting on the doorframe. “...Yes?”
“Got you your favorite takeout food.” Jinyoung raises a plastic bag with containers of food in it. “I’ll set it on your desk?”
Hyunsuk nods, watching Jinyoung push the door open and make his way to Hyunsuk’s desk. “Ah, hyung,” Hyunsuk says, sitting up a little. “My wallet’s near my—”
“No it’s fine, I paid for it,” Jinyoung says, smiling.
“Hyung, really, you paid last time—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jinyoung says, sitting on Hyunsuk’s bed. “Let me take care of you.”
(What the fuck. In what world is saying that fair?
Hyunsuk wants to scream.)
“How are you feeling?” Jinyoung scoots closer and puts his hand on Hyunsuk’s leg, awkwardly sticking out from the blanket. Hyunsuk resists the urge to tuck his legs in.
“Dead inside.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Maybeee,” Hyunsuk drawls out, face scrunched up in fake thinking. “Maybe you could leave. Get me more food.”
Jinyoung laughs, then stands up and leans forward, pressing a kiss to Hyunsuk’s forehead, then his cheek. “Okay. Love you.”
A beat. “Love you too.”
The door clicks shut.
Hyunsuk buries his face in his blankets and screams.
—
Jinyoung likes dragging Hyunsuk out for long walks in the spirit of, and he quotes, ‘Roommate Bonding’.
(“The weather is nice. And you haven’t gone out in like, two days.” Jinyoung says, pulling Hyunsuk by the leg. Hyunsuk pathetically slinks down to the floor. “Come on.”)
It was fine the first few minutes, Jinyoung telling a story about his professor, about so-and-so’s party, about this one time someone started talking to him in Japanese...
Then Jinyoung tugs at Hyunsuk’s sleeve and links their arms, even going as far as lacing their fingers together despite the awkward angle it demands from their wrists. Hyunsuk doesn’t protest, doesn’t pull away, because he knows Jinyoung is clingy and needs to be touching a human at all times. This isn’t the first time they’ve held hands, either, but still. Feelings. Fuck feelings and the stupid tingling sensation he has in his fingers and chest right now. It’s like his entire body is getting pins and needles.
When they get back home, Jinyoung still doesn’t let go (much to Hyunsuk’s panic). He uses his free hand to fish for his keys out of his jacket pocket and manages to unlock their apartment door with one hand.
Jinyoung (finally) lets go of his hand with the announcement that he’s going to shower, and Hyunsuk tries not to visibly deflate in relief. He watches Jinyoung walk into the bathroom, then flops face-first into the couch when he hears the lock click.
He stares at his hand, opening and closing it into a fist. Open, close, open, close. He still feels the way Jinyoung would squeeze it as they walked, the way he would tug their hands down when he laughs. He recounts everything slowly, scene by scene like he’s some sort of director, ignoring the tingling sensation in his chest.
Hyunsuk wrings his hands together on his tummy and sighs.
—
Somehow Harley Quinn is running her hand through his hair.
They’re in an open area, grass and grass and more grass, Why The Fuck Is There So Many Grass, a cottage in the distance, and Hyunsuk’s head on Harley Quinn’s lap.
“Puddin’,” she coos at him, looking down at him and grinning. She strokes his face with her thumb, then leans in, slowly—
Hyunsuk’s eyes shoot open.
“You’re awake,” Jinyoung says. Hyunsuk has somehow managed to end up with his head on Jinyoung’s lap. He blinks up at Jinyoung, barely registering the noises coming from Jinyoung’s laptop.
Jinyoung begins to run a hand through Hyunsuk’s hair. Hyunsuk clears his throat, sitting up, but Jinyoung keeps a hand on his head. “How long was I asleep?”
“Two hours?” Jinyoung says, looking between his laptop and Hyunsuk. He’s watching Suicide Squad. “Maybe more, I found you asleep here on the couch when I got home.”
“Fuck, you should’ve woken me up,” Hyunsuk says, rubbing his face. “I have a paper due in two days.”
Jinyoung is still stroking his hair. “You looked too peaceful. And I thought you needed the rest, you’ve been pulling all-nighters this whole week.”
Hyunsuk groans, burying his face in his hands. “I hate university.”
“Babe,” Jinyoung says. Hyunsuk tenses up, sucking in a breath. This isn’t the first time Jinyoung’s called him that, and he’s not sure if he wants to hear it again. He’s starting to prefer the Harley Quinn dream over whatever the fuck this is. “You should rest.”
“I can’t.”
“One hour.”
“Hyung—”
“Babe, come on.”
“Hyung, I really can’t—”
“Just for now,” and Jinyoung is pressing his cheek on Hyunsuk’s shoulder and pouting and—
Hyunsuk sighs. “Fine. Just one hour.”
Jinyoung grins, settling himself by Hyunsuk’s side. He wraps an arm around Hyunsuk, hand curling around the fabric of Hyunsuk’s sweater.
Hyunsuk presses himself against Jinyoung, just enough to feel comfortable. Just enough that he doesn’t think about all the times Jinyoung called him ‘babe’. Just enough to feign normalcy and act as though he doesn’t have a crush on his roommate.
So.
He presses himself against Jinyoung.
Jinyoung presses play.
—
Sundays are fun days.
Sundays mean Hyunsuk can roll out of bed past noon, so he does. He pads into the living room at 2:30PM and stands there for a solid five minutes, trying to figure out where he was supposed to go.
“Good morning,” Jinyoung greets from the couch. His legs are up on the sofa and his laptop is propped up on his knees. “You’re up early.”
“Uh-huh.”
Jinyoung sets his laptop down on the sofa and stands up, making his way to Hyunsuk. He tiptoes and reaches up to fix Hyunsuk’s hair and Hyunsuk dazedly ducks his head so Jinyoung doesn’t have a hard time.
“Why do you look so beautiful without trying,” Jinyoung says under his breath. He combs through Hyunsuk’s hair a few times, then taps Hyunsuk’s cheek and steps back. “There.”
Hyunsuk merely nods as a thank you and finally, finally remembers he stepped out of his room to brush his teeth. He turns around to go to the bathroom, hunched over, missing the way Jinyoung snickers at him.
(In the bathroom, his toothbrush falls from his mouth, bristles covered in toothpaste, and Hyunsuk watches it bounce off the sink and onto the floor.
Why do you look so beautiful without trying…
Holy shit.
He crouches on the floor and doesn’t leave the bathroom for another five minutes.)
—
[9:15AM]
baebae: yo babe look at this
baebae: ITS SO FUNNY
baebae: [video link]
yo_onhyunsuk: HYUNG IM IN CLASS
baebae: watch it after!!!!
[11:05AM]
baebae: this reminded me of u
baebae: [image attachment]
baebae: bc ur such a baby <3
[12:00PM]
yo_onhyunsuk: this reminded me of u
baebae: how tf
yo_onhyunsuk: bc ur such a bitch <3
baebae: i m OLDER THAN U
yo_onhyunsuk: hyung bitch <3
[2:30PM]
baebae: r ur classes done
yo_onhyunsuk: yea
baebae: what time r u coming home
yo_onhyunsuk: b4 dinner idk yonghee hyung is gonna tutor me in math
baebae: ok
baebae: can u
baebae: buy me a latte ^__^
[6:30PM]
baebae: thinking of u
baebae: [image attachment]
yo_onhyunsuk: hyung get ur face off the window im otw home
—
Hyunsuk wiggles his way into Jinyoung’s room after five minutes of attempting to open the door while balancing a hot bowl of soup in his hands.
“Hyung,” he says, moving some things on Jinyoung’s nightstand so he can set the bowl down, “I made you soup.”
Jinyoung makes a low groaning noise at the back of his throat. He pushes the comforter off and rubs at his face, blearily blinking up at Hyunsuk. Hyunsuk takes the bowl from the nightstand and hands it to Jinyoung, who puts it between his legs.
“Ah, I forgot the spoon. Okay, uh, wait.” Hyunsuk turns back to go to the kitchen and tips forward, reaching for a spoon. When he comes back, Jinyoung is putting the bowl near his face.
“Hyung. Here.” He pokes the end of the spoon handle on Jinyoung’s face. Jinyoung doesn’t budge, wordlessly taking the spoon and stirring the soup before he starts to eat.
Hyunsuk places the back of his hand on Jinyoung’s forehead. Jinyoung leans into the touch, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“My little nurse angel,” Jinyoung mumbles, spoon still in his mouth. He takes Hyunsuk’s hand and presses it to his cheek. “Love you.”
Hyunsuk freezes. So the fever is probably worse(?) than he expected. Jinyoung is being ridiculously delirious; Hyunsuk chooses to not entertain him, shooting Jinyoung a small smile then standing up.
“I’ll come back to check your temperature, hyung. Let me know when you’re done eating, okay?” He pats Jinyoung on the cheek and Jinyoung hums and smiles up at him, sappy and sick.
“Gonna go now. Eat well, hyungie,” he says, tacking on some aegyo at the end.
Jinyoung lets out a high-pitched hum in acknowledgement, mumbling something Hyunsuk doesn’t quite catch.
He closes the door to Jinyoung’s room and sighs, puffing his cheeks out.
“Little nurse angel,” he says under his breath. “Hyung, what are you doing…”
—
Hyunsuk walks into his college building and finds that the student council has set up a Valentines Day booth. A huge banner with the words ‘HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!’ in big red chunky letters is tacked to the front of the booth. Boxes are stacked beside the booth, and upon closer inspection, Hyunsuk sees they’re giving away goodie bags of sweets for the freshmen and chocolate for everyone else.
Hyunsuk is handed a goodie bag from the box, accompanied by a cheery “Happy Valentines Day!” and a wave from the student council vice president. He smiles back and waves, then opens the bag to peek at its contents.
Not bad, he thinks. There are at least seven variations of candy and chocolate. Looks like the student council got more than enough funds this school year.
He pops a gummy into his mouth and makes his way to class.
;
baebae: hyunsukie~~
baebae: ur my valentine today babe!!
Hyunsuk drops his phone, scrambling to keep it from hitting the pavement.
yo_onhyunsuk: didnt u say u have a date today??????
baebae: no i cancelled it like an hour ago
yo_onhyunsuk: ????????
baebae: i wanted to spend time with u today
baebae: lets go out!!!! <3
baebae: look i even got u something!!
baebae: [image attachment]
yo_onhyunsuk: ok ur my valentine today too then??
baebae: we can eat at ur favorite takeout place!!! r u on the way home rn??
yo_onhyunsuk: yup
yo_onhyunsuk: meet u there??
baebae: ok!!! see ya~
They’re seated in Hyunsuk’s favorite hole-in-the-wall place, greeting the ahjumma in thanks when she serves their food.
“So,” Hyunsuk says, picking up his chopsticks. “What happened to your date today?”
“I told you, I wanted to spend time with you.” Jinyoung flicks Hyunsuk’s hand away when he moves to scoop food onto his plate. Hyunsuk glares at him. Jinyoung tactfully ignores him and points his phone in Hyunsuk’s direction. “Smile!”
Hyunsuk sticks both of his chopsticks into his mouth and imitates a walrus, eliciting a giggle from Jinyoung. He hears the shutter go off on Jinyoung’s phone, then takes his chopsticks from his mouth and takes a few pieces of sticky tangsuyuk.
“I feel bad for your date, though,” Hyunsuk says, shoving rice in his mouth.
Jinyoung shrugs. “It was my suggestion, anyway, then I realized I didn’t really wanna go for it, so. You know.”
Hyunsuk doesn’t say anything, chewing his food and watching Jinyoung mess around on Instagram before he puts the photo of Hyunsuk on his story.
“Yah,” Hyunsuk says, tapping his chopsticks on Jinyoung’s plate. “Stop using your phone. Eat.”
“You’re not my mom.”
Hyunsuk sticks his tongue out, and Jinyoung returns the gesture, even going as far as rolling his eyes back and putting his finger on his nose and calling him a pig.
Hyunsuk rolls his eyes and is about to call him 돼지녕 when he hears someone yell out a “Hyunsuk!”
Hyunsuk looks behind him and sees the freshman representative to their student council practically bounding towards him, waving a small box of chocolates in her hand.
“Hey,” she says, out of breath. She sets the box of chocolates on their table.
“Dasom, hey.” Hyunsuk offers her a small smile. “This for me?”
“Yup,” Dasom says, straightening up. “Didn’t see you today and I was giving all my friends these, so. Yeah.” She huffs. “Glad I caught you.”
“You weren’t, like, stalking me right—”
“Ew, no.” Dasom’s face scrunches up in offense. “I’m on the way to meet some friends. Don’t report me to the student council president.”
“You weren’t in the booth today.”
“Had class. Was there in the afternoon.”
“Ah. Oh!” Hyunsuk gestures from Dasom to Jinyoung. “Dasom, this is my roommate, Jinyoung hyung. Hyung, this is Dasom, freshman representative in our local student council.”
Dasom turns to Jinyoung and bows. “Nice to meet you, oppa.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Jinyoung says, doing an awkward bow in his seat. “Please don’t steal my valentine.”
Silence.
Dasom shrieks in laughter, bending over and clutching her belly. “Stealing—” Another shriek. Hyunsuk looks around and sure enough, people in the surrounding tables are staring at them. He mouths out sorry to the ones nearest to them. “Oh my god,” Dasom says, wiping tears from her eyes. “Hoo, okay, okay, ha—that’s funny.” She straightens up and salutes Jinyoung, cheeky grin on her face. “No worries, oppa, I am a lesbian.”
Hyunsuk snorts when Jinyoung starts sounding like he’s hacking up a lung. “Aren’t you supposed to be meeting your friends?”
“Right!” Dasom turns and waves them goodbye. “See you around!”
Hyunsuk waves back and they watch her skip away, Jinyoung’s coughing fit coming to a halt when she’s already a few feet away from them.
“You’re so annoying,” Hyunsuk says when he turns back to their food, kicking Jinyoung’s leg under the table. Jinyoung clears his throat, barely dodging Hyunsuk hitting him in the shin.
“Yeah, well. How was I supposed to know she was a lesbian?”
Hyunsuk laughs and steals half of the kimchi Jinyoung set aside for himself. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Whatever. You love me anyway.”
Hyunsuk shrugs, deflecting, but his cheeks heat up despite all his efforts to keep himself from blushing.
(He loves Jinyoung more than he’ll ever know. It’s stupid, but he doesn’t want to admit it yet. Jinyoung deserves more than an awkward confession on a tacky holiday, right when it’s the most predictable.
He steals more kimchi and hopes Jinyoung doesn’t notice.)
—
Hyunsuk practically hurls Jinyoung onto their couch.
The only problem is, Jinyoung pulls him down with him.
Hyunsuk unceremoniously falls on top of Jinyoung, and briefly hopes that he didn’t crush any of Jinyoung’s body parts. (Tiny head. Thin body. Loves human contact. Hyunsuk has long since concluded that Jinyoung is fragile.)
Jinyoung wraps his arms around Hyunsuk’s waist, hands snaking down to rest on Hyunsuk’s lower back. Hyunsuk tries to ignore the fact that he reeks of alcohol and sweat after an attempt to outdrink Byounggon in Yonghee’s birthday party. (Which was a set-up, honestly; Jinyoung has the highest alcohol tolerance out of everyone in their friend group and yet he still tried. Now he’s piss drunk and the clingiest he’s ever been.)
“Hyunsuk,” Jinyoung slurs. “Hyunsukieee...”
Hyunsuk shifts so he’s looking at Jinyoung (or does his best, anyway, it’s awkward and his neck feels strained). Jinyoung slides his hands up from the small of Hyunsuk’s back in favor of cupping his face.
“You’re so pretty,” Jinyoung muses, eyelids drooping. His gaze flits down to Hyunsuk’s mouth. “Pretty.”
Hyunsuk sucks in a breath and hopes Jinyoung doesn’t feel his heart skip a beat.
(He vaguely feels like he’s on the verge of puking.)
They fall silent. Hyunsuk feels brave enough to let himself look down at Jinyoung’s lips, just a little, only to regret it because now he wants to kiss him. Jinyoung’s lips are red and so, so very pretty; chapped but somewhat...shiny, still.
“You can kiss me,” Jinyoung murmurs, leaning closer. Hyunsuk’s gaze flits around, from Jinyoung’s forehead to the side of the sofa, to Jinyoung’s chin and back on his lips again.
The panic is probably very evident on Hyunsuk’s face because Jinyoung adds, “I won’t mind.”
“Hyung,” Hyunsuk replies, steeling himself. He removes Jinyoung’s hands from his face. “You’re drunk.”
“It’s fine.”
Hyunsuk sighs. He puts his hand beside Jinyoung’s shoulder and pushes himself off, shifting into a sitting position by Jinyoung’s legs. “Come on.” He pats Jinyoung’s butt then tugs on his wrist. “You need to sleep.”
Jinyoung makes a noise that sounds vaguely like ‘okay’, so Hyunsuk holds both of his arms and pulls him up. He wraps an arm around Jinyoung’s waist to support him, then just about manhandles him into the bathroom. Jinyoung is pliant the moment he sits on their bathroom stool, so Hyunsuk goes through the motions of washing his face and getting him into comfortable clothes in less than ten minutes.
When Jinyoung is settled in bed (he waddled into his room and flopped face-forward on his bed then promptly passed out), Hyunsuk places an ibuprofen and a glass of water on his nightstand.
Then he washes up, changes into his pajamas, and falls into a dreamless sleep.
—
Hyunsuk wakes up at 9AM because people who don’t drink do that.
Jinyoung gets out of bed almost six hours later, walking into the living room with a gorgon-esque bedhead and drool on the side of his mouth. He goes to Hyunsuk to give him his morning kiss, then disappears into the bathroom and comes out looking a little more human. (Still beautiful, Hyunsuk thinks, then waves the intrusive thought away with a sigh.
Hyunsuk has spent the last six hours thinking about Jinyoung—something he does on a regular basis, but this one’s different. He thinks about Jinyoung calling him babe, about Jinyoung paying for him when they get takeout, about the whole Little Nurse Angel Incident, about Valentine’s Day.
And about last night.
He’s scared of what it all means.
He’s told Seunghun about it over numerous FaceTime calls about his ‘predictable’—Seunghun’s words, not his—gay panic over his own roommate. Seunghun called him an idiot, then said “it’s right in front of you,” like Hyunsuk is supposed to just know what that means, then sighed and told Hyunsuk to talk to Jinyoung.
Hyunsuk decides that maybe today is a good day to do that.)
He’s sitting on the couch, binge watching Itaewon Class on Netflix because Jinyoung is a bitch and apparently finished the whole series without him. Jinyoung helps himself to whatever leftovers they have and sits on the other end of the sofa, tucking his legs underneath him.
Hyunsuk pauses his drama. “How’s your hangover?”
“Good. I mean, I don’t really feel it that much?”
“That’s good. Um,” Hyunsuk says, awkwardly adjusting his position so he’s facing Jinyoung. “Hyung can I, can I, uh, can I talk to you?”
“Sure, hold on.” Jinyoung finishes up his food and stands to put his bowl in the sink, then sits back down on the couch, a little closer to Hyunsuk this time. “What’s up?”
“You’re, like, gay, right…?”
(Wow. So far so good.)
“Yes…?” Jinyoung almost sounds offended. “You know this.”
“Right, right.” Hyunsuk purses his lips. “Uh…” He trails off into radio silence. The Most Awkward Pause In The History of Awkward Pauses just. Sits there. Right beside them.
Hyunsuk breathes in. He tries again. “So you know how you call me… babe… and, and you… take care of me. A lot. And give me morning kisses. And, like, Valentine’s Day? You cancelled your date to go out with me?”
Jinyoung stares at him, mouth twitching ever so slightly Hyunsuk feels as though it was just a figment of his imagination.
“Does that, like, mean… anything?” Hyunsuk looks away, hand on his nape. His palms are sweating oceans and he is very, very scared. “I was just—just, you know, wondering… All good if it doesn't, you know, mean anything…”
Jinyoung smiles. A full, beaming, fond smile.
(To say Hyunsuk is terrified is an understatement.)
“I thought you’d never notice.”
“What?”
“I’ve been trying to flirt with you this whole time.”
“What? ”
Jinyoung laughs, a cute one that Hyunsuk likes hearing but not right now. “I like you, you dumbass.”
“What?”
“Do you want me to say it again?”
“No, no wait—” Hyunsuk scoots closer so they sit shoulder to shoulder. He’s shaking. “I mean, yes, but, you—you like me? ”
“Yes. Yoon Hyunsuk, I like you. A lot, actually.” And Jinyoung grins up at him, eyes sparkling like he has whole galaxies in his eyes and all that romantic shit people say. Hyunsuk grins back so wide his cheeks hurt.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Hyunsuk gurgles out a laugh and squishes Jinyoung’s face. “Me too. I mean, I like you too. A lot. So much. Since, like, last year.”
Jinyoung takes Hyunsuk’s hand from his face and laces their fingers together. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yeah, of course, oh my god, ye —”
Jinyoung giggles before he kisses him and Hyunsuk melts, kissing Jinyoung like he wanted to last night, kissing Jinyoung like he’s wanted to this past year.
(Technically, this isn’t the worst thing to ever happen to him.
Especially when Bae Jinyoung likes him back.)