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His hands are shaking so much that he doesn’t protest a bit when Oscar ‘tuts’ and nudges them aside, taking over. After all, he’s already late. “Need to teach you how to do this already,” he murmurs as his brows furrow in conversation. Cesar tries to watch, tries to keep up so he can finally do this on his own, but Oscar’s hands move under then over so fluidly that he doesn’t know where he begins and his tie ends.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse. Isn’t sure if he means for not knowing how to tie a tie at fourteen or for throwing up a few minutes ago. He feels colder now.
Oscar shakes his head without saying anything and just like that, he’s finished. Cesar blinks, astonished that it only took Oscar but a few seconds to do what he struggled to do for about five minutes, trembling aside. However, he shouldn’t be surprised; everything has always been easier for Oscar. Or maybe he’s just made things look easier. Either way Cesar’s never been able to keep up, never been able to do the things his big brother could do.
He flinches when Oscar puts his hands on his chest to smooth his shirt, then flashes him an apologetic grin that he hopes doesn’t look like a grimace. It definitely doesn’t feel like there’s a smile on his face. Oscar nods in understanding and Cesar reminds himself that at one point, Oscar was in his shoes; throwing up and twitchy, an anxious mess. The thought comforts him that his fearless, immovable brother felt something akin to fear. It makes him feel less weak.
He stills himself when Oscar moves to fix his collar and the elder Diaz’s lips curl up. “Looking good, mano,” he tells him and Cesar can feel a genuine smile melt the tension on his face. “A’ight, off you go. Don’t keep the birthday girl waiting.” Cesar nods obediently and he reaches for the last of his things, already working on taking the past twenty-four hours and pushing them to the depth of his mind, telling himself he has to think about it later so he doesn’t completely ruin Olivia’s birthday.
“Hey,” Cesar looks up, his suit jacket half on, and Oscar tells him, “Have fun tonight. Te lo mereces.”
And, as usual, Oscar was right; Cesar was going to get exactly what he deserved tonight.