Chapter Text
Steve was thinking, idly, of the most horrible ways a person could die…
He was sitting in the breakroom, uncomfortably upright on one of the couches. Still wearing his fire damaged uniform, little flecks of soot falling from his hair every time he ran his hands through it. Really, he would have liked to have a shower, changed into more comfortable clothes – gone straight down to the gym and put all of his post mission adrenaline into a couple of punching bags.
But, apparently, an opportunity had presented itself – and Steve couldn’t risk missing it.
As soon as he found out who Nick was meeting with, Steve made straight for the second floor and staked out the seat directly opposite the elevator.
And he’d waited.
And waited.
And, in that time, he’d had nothing to do but rehash this latest mission. Everything that had gone wrong. Everything that could have gone wrong.
All the ways it might be worse, next time.
Steve pictured it again. The look of panic in Bucky’s eyes, as his arm seized up. The sharp cry as the pain shot through his body, so powerful that he dropped to his knees.
In the middle of a firefight.
He could be in pain like that for the rest of his life
He could end up getting killed
We all could all end up getting killed…
And what really irritated Steve was that things were getting worse .
It hadn’t been painful like that the last time Bucky’s arm seized – before Dr Stape fucked about with it. And it hadn’t seized up at all before Dr Niko fucked about it with it. And the involuntary movements that Dr Niko had been treating were still as bad as they’d ever been…
A shadow fell over him, pulling him out of his increasingly angry thoughts.
“Hey.” Steve managed a little smile when he saw Natasha. She looked him over, analysing the fact that he hadn’t changed yet. Then she glanced at the elevator.
“He’s not going to see you, you know,” she sighed.
“Thanks for that,” Steve deadpanned, and she softened slightly.
“I’m just saying, you might as well go and have a shower… get that looked at, maybe.” She gestured to a dark bloodstain, the size of a coaster, on his shoulder. Steve shook his head dismissively. It had healed already.
“I can do that later.”
“Look, Steve… I know how much it means to you, getting Bucky’s arm fixed…” She began carefully, walking over to sit beside him on the couch. “And I know there aren’t a lot of good solutions… And I know you. I know that means you’re about to go all in on this plan. Once you’ve decided that something has to work-”
“I just want to ask the question,” Steve interrupted, in an appeasing tone.
“Yeah, and when he says no, you’ll ask again.” Nat sighed. “And then you’ll try again. And again. And, the thing is Steve, if I thought you had even the slightest chance of getting anywhere with this, I’d say go for it…” She trailed off into a pause, like she was trying to think of how to phrase something. And then she shook her head. And then she smiled. “I already know there’s no point trying to talk you out of it. I just… don’t want to see you get your hopes up, I guess.”
Steve smiled more genuinely at that. He knew she meant well. He knew that Nat cared about him, that she cared about Bucky, that she always had his back. That meant a lot. And, of course, she was right-
There was no point trying to talk him out of this.
“It’s not Tony Stark I’m waiting for,” he told her, with a knowing smile. “It’s Pepper Potts.”
“No need to be pedantic” Nat answered, sardonically.
And then the elevator binged.
Steve was on his feet immediately. He cast an apologetic glance at Nat – who had already surrendered. She waved him on, go, go …
Pepper looked directly at Steve, the moment the doors slid open. As confident and in control as she would have been walking into a board room. Steve smiled.
He already felt like he knew her.
He’d spent the last three weeks watching every interview she’d ever given, reading every personal profile and analysing every business report with her name on it, in anticipation of an opportunity like this.
Because Steve wasn’t being pedantic. He wasn’t here to give Pepper a message for Tony Stark. He really had been waiting for half an hour to speak to her.
Steve already knew that Tony Stark wouldn’t listen to him. Tony Stark had ignored invitations from royalty and subpoenas from Congress and personal appeals from the President of the United States. Thousands of people had written him letters, and called him out in the press, and even given Pepper messages to pass on. Stark hadn’t listened to any of them-
But he listened to her.
Pepper Potts had been the public face of Stark Industries for nearly twenty years. She was one of only two people who’d actually seen Stark in person in all that time, and she was the person who spoke for him in press conferences and represented him at business meetings and delivered the tech that he designed. All evidence pointed to the fact that Stark trusted her.
And Steve thought there was a chance that Pepper would listen to him. At least there were interviews he could watch and profiles he could read, to give him a clue how to play this… At least he could speak to her in person, try to read her reaction and hopefully let her see how important this was.
And if he could convince Pepper, maybe she could convince Tony Stark…
Well, he had to try.
“Captain Rogers,” she smiled warmly, extending a hand. “Nick said you wanted to speak to me before I left?”
“Yes, thank you – I know how busy you are.” Steve got straight to the point -he got the impression she preferred things that way. “You probably already know about the issues Bucky’s had with his arm. All the people we already talked to.”
And Pepper nodded – well, obviously she already knew about it. Tony Stark had been involved with the Avengers since the beginning, and after the fall of SHIELD it was only Stark’s money and tech that kept the team going. He was their main contributor and only external ‘director’ – although, obviously, he performed that role from a distance. Tony Stark had never spoken to any of them directly. He’d never tried to interfere with the work they did. But Steve knew, all the bills and all the mission reports and all the inventories went to him. Via Pepper.
So, Steve could probably skip the background details. Good.
“Well, so far none of it has helped,” Steve sighed, sadly. “In fact, mostly, it’s made everything much worse. He’s in pain now, and sometimes… Today, there was a malfunction, and it just knocked him clear off his feet. It’s a miracle he didn’t get shot right then, or that Nat didn’t get shot going in to cover him, or…” Steve caught himself before he could spiral into all his fears and worries. Tried to recentre on what little insight he had about Pepper.
She was smart, and not weighed down by her own ego, and not one to suffer fools, sycophants, or manipulators. Watching her TV interviews had told him that much. That, and that she was pretty co-operative, when people were reasonable and honest and upfront…
“What you, and Stark Industries and Mr Stark, do for the Avengers is incredible, and I know we have no right to ask for anything else.” Steve started, simply. “But this isn’t me asking for a favour. This is just me explaining the situation as it is, to someone who I know cares about what happens. I know that you put as much into the Avengers as he does. So, I guess you need to know as much as anyone… This is a really bad situation.”
“So, what do you think I can do to help?” Pepper asked outright. Of course she did.
“I’m pretty sure that Tony Stark is the only person who might actually be able to fix this thing.” Steve tried to be forthright in his answer.
Suddenly, he felt… nervous. A perfectly human anxiety, for a conversation he just really wanted to go well – with someone much better at this stuff than he was. He remembered this feeling, from when he was much smaller. If Bucky were here, he’d be pulling faces behind Peppers back. Either trying in vain to help Steve out, or deliberately trying to wind him up, depending on the circumstances.
And it was remembering his friend , rather than his duty as an Avenger, that pushed Steve on with this.
“The equipment that we get from Stark Industries is different from everything else out there.” He breathed, “Not just better. The weapons he sends aren’t just better weapons – they’re safer and more comfortable and better from the environment, and... And it’s more than him just thinking of everything. It’s the fact that he sees it as a whole. The fact that he thinks about who is going to be using it, and where and why. And – you know that rumour, that Tony Stark died years ago, and all this tech is really designed by a whole committee of geniuses, and they’re just using his name?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that one,” Pepper answered with an easy laugh.
“Well, I always knew that wasn’t true, because I’ve seen committees at work – I’ve seen whole committees trying to fix this thing for Bucky, and they don’t come up with something as coherent as this.” Steve gestured to the communicator on his wrist, as the most available example of Stark Tech. “I know something like this has to be designed by one person. One person who can think about everything…”
Steve made himself stop there. He knew he’d gotten slightly flustered, and deviated from his script a bit… He was babbling. Straying dangerously close to fawning. He took another little breath, and tried to bring it all together in a stronger finish.
“It’s my job to run this team, and this team is here to keep the world safe – I’m supposed to do everything I can think of, to make that happen.” He told her seriously “And, honestly, the only thing I can think of is asking Tony Stark.”
And Pepper breathed a patient smile…a sad sort of softness around her eyes, now-
Like an apology .
Steve felt his heart drop. He was reading this conversation the same way he would an interrogation, or an undercover operation – and he could see it wasn’t going well.
“Well, I can pass the message on, of course.” Pepper told him, pleasantly. “I assume that the details are all stored on the central server?”
“I think so, ma’am,” Steve nodded, automatically. “I’ll make sure they are.”
“I’ll ask him to have a look, see what he thinks.” Pepper assured him, in what was clearly meant to be a concluding remark, but Steve was ready to grab for anything to keep this conversation going.
“I know he doesn’t see people,” he said softly. “And I’m not going to say I understand that – because I know that… other people just don’t understand some things…”
And there was a little spark behind her eyes. Intrigued, maybe. Interested .
“…I was born in 1918, I’m the living result of a military experiment” Steve carried on, cautiously. “I have baggage that I couldn’t even describe to you. And Bucky has… things he doesn’t have to explain to anyone. So, I’m not going to be asking for an explanation, is what I’m saying. I don’t think I’m owed one. I’m not going to question whatever help he can offer…I’m not going to question anything ”
He wasn’t entirely sure what about this was working… But it was. He saw the way her gaze focused on him, a genuine engagement pushing through the polite professionalism.
“You care about him, don’t you?” She asked, in a different voice entirely. “Bucky.”
“Yes, of course” Steve answered quickly and she smiled.
“That’s what this is really about.”
Steve dropped his shoulders. He knew that she already knew the answer.
“Honestly, yeah, that’s why this keeps me up at night,” he admitted and was relieved when she just carried on smiling at him.“But that doesn’t mean any of that other stuff isn’t true. And I know my fears for my friend aren’t your concern – I wouldn’t be asking you, if it was only that.”
…Okay, he wasn’t entirely sure that was true. But he was sure that-
“This is more than that. I really think it does concern Stark Industries – at least, if the Avengers do.”
Pepper just looked at him for a moment… and Steve had lost all track of what she might be thinking. Whether her thoughtful frown meant that she was considering it, or just baffled by this awkward pitch, Steve couldn’t quite tell.
“But he’s your friend?” She asked, suddenly “Not a partner?”
Steve was briefly taken aback by the question – but only because it had come from nowhere.
“No, it’s not like that ,” he assured, easily – even though he knew, if he tried to actually explain his relationship with Bucky, it wouldn’t seem nearly that simple. That was just one of those things other people wouldn’t understand. And other people didn’t have to understand it. Steve knew what Pepper was really asking, and from his point of view, the answer was easy. “He’s not my boyfriend, and I’m not in love with him – but I do love him. He’d been my best friend, since before any of this happened to either of us. So, yeah, I’d go as far for him as I would a partner...” Steve trailed off, and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
She was just… looking at him, again.
And then, just as Steve was scrabbling to think of yet another avenue of conversation, she nodded at him.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she told him, warmly.
And Steve felt a sudden surge of relief, because he just knew – that was different to ‘I’ll pass the message on’.
“Thank you.” He smiled.
*
Tony was just about to say what a good day it’d been.
He’d actually gone to bed last night – and not just because he’d concussed himself, or because he’d been promising to go to bed since the night before. No, he’d actually woken up after a good night’s sleep, and spent the whole day making breakthroughs on his latest project. And then Pepper had arrived, with a bottle of wine and a lot of positive reports about the company and the Avengers...
And Tony was just about to tell her that he was in a good mood for once-
And then she dropped the bombshell.
“I really think you need to look at Barnes’ arm yourself.”
Tony snapped to attention, his brow creased in incredulity. He could tell from her tone that she was serious.
“Why, has it fallen off?” Tony asked, acerbically. Pepper softened her shoulders, and took a step forward-
She was really serious about this, then – otherwise she’d have just rolled her eyes at that.
“Well, I haven’t given you the final Avengers report for the day,” she explained, her tone full of something he couldn’t quite place.“Yesterday’s mission… did not go well.”
“The people trafficking thing in Russia?” Tony frowned, momentarily distracted from his outrage. That should’ve been a totally by the books operation. The only reason he hadn’t asked about it was that he naturally assumed it’d been a walk over… “How did that go wrong?”
“Barnes’ arm seized up,” Pepper answered, as though it should’ve been obvious. “The details are in the latest mission report. And all the details of his treatment so far are stored on the central server.” She was speaking in that lilting, uplifted way she did when she was building to something, gesturing to the general area where Tony’s holograms usually appeared.
Tony brought the details up somewhere else entirely, just to be petty. He gave Pepper an unimpressed glare, before he turned his attention to the mission reports…
And then the glare melted into a thoughtful look… and then a concerned frown…
“It’s bad then?” Pepper prompted, after a few minutes.
“It’s… a mess.” Tony sighed. He’d moved on to Bucky’s recent scans by then, flicking between them as he tried to make sense of what the latest doctor had done. “I thought the last guy was a leading neurologist?”
“You understood his work better than I did.” Pepper reminded him – but Tony wasn’t really talking to her.
“Well, he doesn’t seem to understand how this technology interacts with the central nervous system,” he carried on, just thinking out loud, as he scrolled back through the last few medical reports. “…Jesus, this is just… Fuck up after fuck up…”
“Well, Captain Rogers has apparently searched through every expert on earth, to come up with that list of fuck ups…” Pepper commented, in that same lilting tone-
And Tony remembered the ludicrous statement that had started this conversation in the first place.
“Well, maybe I can do better than Captain Rogers.” He told her in a cold, level voice. “If you need me to find an actual expert, I’m sure I know what to look for more than he does.”
“And can you think of anyone who might be able to sort this mess out?” Pepper gestured to the hologram again.
“…Not off of the top of my head, no” Tony admitted – because, worryingly, all names he would have suggested were people that Rogers had already tried…
“Don’t you think that person would come to mind immediately?” Pepper asked. “If there was someone out there who could make sense of this… mess ?”
Tony looked back over the array of scans… the slow progression from bad to worse…
He tried to think of any neurologist, engineer, bio-engineer or medical expert that wasn’t already on Steve Rogers list…
And realised that this job would require a little bit from each of those fields…
And probably someone who understood military technology… through the years…
And the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence, and Artificial Organics…
…Fuck, did it have to be him?
There was a sudden stab of panic in his chest then, as he really considered what Pepper was asking him to do. He literally flinched away from it. And then he felt that fear heat into irritation – if he’d been talking to anyone else, he’d have called it anger.
“Look, no offence Pep, but it isn’t my mess,” Tony explained, trying so hard to stay calm that he sounded anything but. And then gestured to the workshop with a wide arc of his hand, from the pile of jagged scrap metal in the left-hand corner, to the stack of blood stained coffee mugs in the sink. He kept pointing at them, as he carried on, “ This is my mess. Trying to do something positive, without being outed as a monster, and having everything I’ve ever built come crashing down.”
Her eyes softened in such genuine sympathy when he called himself a monster. It helped take the sharp edge of his frustration – but it didn’t make him feel any better about himself. It never had.
“You really think the world will come crashing down if you let Captain America and Bucky Barnes come to the workshop one time?” She asked him, gently.
“Why would Steve Rogers be coming with him?” Tony asked, quickly, and Pepper answered just as quickly.
“I assumed you’d insist.”
Tony frowned in confusion, trying to work out why the hell she’d think that – and then he remembered that he didn’t even discuss people coming to the workshop. Ever. They weren’t even having this conversation.
“Well, I don’t insist. In fact, you know what, I insist that they not come here. Either of them,” he asserted. “I’ll look at the plans, I’ll try and think of someone better to do the work, I’ll send that person step by step instructions if I have to-”
“And when that doesn’t work?” She asked him, seriously.
That irritation flashed up again.
No, scratch that – this time it was anger.
“JARVIS, what year is it?” Tony announced, sarcastically.
“2012, sir,” came the polite reply.
“Oh, just checking that I hadn’t accidently gone back in time, what, five years? It must be at least five years, since you said – again – that we’d had this conversation for the last time.” He reminded her, snippily.
And Tony had to stop himself. He had to take a moment to calm himself, to push past that sudden burst of emotion before he carried on.
He always wondered, at times like these, what biological process was he trying to quell. What caused these familiar symptoms, now that his heart couldn’t skip a beat and he couldn’t possibly be struggling for breath…
Why did he still take a deep breath, when he wanted to push through these moments?
“I’m sorry,” he started again. “I really am. I’d help Bucky if I could – I’d help everyone if I could. But I can’t help everyone . If I let Bucky in, then why not all the other people with doctors less qualified than me? And if I let everyone in, how long do you think it’ll be before the whole world knows I’m a vampire? Would you like to take a guess at what happens to the stock price if that comes out? And what happens to the Avengers if the company folds – or, hell, what happens to the Avengers if it comes out that their director is a fucking vampire ? They get enough shit from everyone just for saving the world. Or what happens to you, or to Rhodey, when all the people that hate me realise that I have a lot of weaknesses they hadn’t thought of. Like, you know, sunlight-”
“You’re rambling.” Pepper informed him, kindly.
“Yeah, well, there are a lot of reasons why this is a bad idea” Tony shot back.
“Do you really think either Sargent Barnes or Captain America would out you as a vampire, even if they did find out?” Pepper asked. “Although, why you think they’d find that out, just because they came to the workshop once-”
“What makes you think they wouldn’t ?” Tony challenged.
“Because I’ve met Steve Rogers,” Pepper answered breezily.
Tony rolled his eyes.
“Okay, you’ve met him, and he’s made you feel sorry for him, and his friend. Fine,” Tony sighed. “I get it, I vaguely remember that – some people are sympathetic when you talk to them… But that’s just not a good enough reason, Pep. I can’t risk everything because Steve Rogers is a good salesman. Sorry. No.”
And Pepper exhaled slowly, and gave a sad little nod – and Tony dared to think that was the end of it.
“He’s very attractive, you know,” Pepper commented nonchalantly.
“Yes, I know,” Tony groaned. “I don’t have to invite the guy to the workshop to appreciate that – he’s on TV literally all the time. Just like a thousand other attractive people.”
Honestly – as if Tony was going to take back everything he’d just said, just because the guy was pretty. Pepper should give him more credit. Tony really thought she knew him better than to say any of this-
“Oh, he’s really not,” Pepper muttered, almost to herself.
…Okay, Pepper knew him better than anyone.
Because Tony didn’t even know what nerve she’d just touched. Whether that seemingly off-hand remark had inspired a spike of jealousy, or curiosity, or an insecurity at being left out of a secret… maybe something else entirely. Something that – belatedly – led him to wonder why she was bringing this up for the first time in at least five years. What made this thing so special…? Suddenly, there was a tension in his body, and an obvious edge on his voice when he asked,
“He’s really not what?”
“He’s really not like a thousand other people on television,” Pepper answered casually. “And, actually, you don’t really know what he looks like, because he doesn’t really look like his photographs… You know how some people are just like that?” And she looked at him, faux innocent, for an answer.
And, irritated though he was in that moment, Tony almost smiled at her. Part of him had to give her props for being able to hook his attention so expertly, however adamant he’d been a moment ago. He couldn’t help but appreciate the objective intelligence of it.
Mostly, though, he was just irritated.
“Okay, you obviously have an agenda here,” Tony huffed. “ You want me to help this guy for some reason. And you might as well tell me what it is – because you’re not going to convince me I want to give up my free time, and risk everything I’ve built, for someone who probably dressed up as a Vampire for Halloween…”
He trailed off when he recognised the wry look Pepper had fixed him with.
Tony dropped his shoulders, and let go of a purely symbolic heavy breath – another human habit he’d held on to, twenty years after stopped making sense. And then, before he could apologise for the outburst, she answered it.
“Actually, it’s more Bucky that I feel sorry for,” she smiled sadly. “He was turned into a weapon, against his will, and… you know what it’s like. To be… frightened , of your own body…”
Tony felt an immediate pang of guilt, which his brain took a few seconds to catch up with… realising that he had been looking at those plans as though they were a piece of tech, rather than a person’s arm … He hadn’t really considered how different those malfunctions would feel, to a person who had to be attached to them…
And he should have, really.
Because he did know what it was like…
Tony narrowed his eyes at Pepper.
He knew he should tell her no. He tried to tell her no… But, suddenly, there was a bodily resistance to saying it. A tightening in his ribs and a solidness through the whole of his torso. He was saying it all in his head – all the things he’d just said, all the things he’d been saying for twenty years. He found himself trying to physically force it, over a stiff tongue and an uncooperative jaw…
And maybe it was just that this was the first time Pepper had asked him to help someone.
Maybe it was just that he found it harder to refuse a favour to her than to any of the people who’d asked her to pass on their messages.
Maybe he was intrigued to know what - who - had pushed her to make this plea, after all this time.
Or, maybe it was that he did feel sorry for Bucky now.
But he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell her no.
And then he thought about whether it would be any easier to tell her yes – and found that he was actually just saying it.
“I will agree to see him, once .” Tony informed her, curtly. “And he has to come here, and he has to come at night, and he has to come alone- ”
“Oh… I think Captain Rogers will insist on coming with him,” Pepper interrupted, her tone more careful now. “…Which, actually, I think would be a good idea, for a few reasons.”
Tony briefly considered putting his foot down over it – purely out of stubbornness.
But…
If he was going to break his decades-long ban on visitors…
Even though he knew that Pepper had been goading him, and there probably wouldn’t be any difference between the real Steve Rogers and his pictures…
Okay, he did kind of want to see for himself now.
“Fine – but just the two of them, ” Tony insisted, and Pepper nodded placatingly. “And this is just a consultation, with no guarantees – this is not me saying that I’m going to ‘fix his arm’. I am just going to have a look at it.”
“I’ll be very clear about that,” Pepper assured him, smiling now.
“And they do not need to know anything about me” Tony warned her, making sure to look her right in the eye for this point. “They do not need to be told I’m a vampire. They do not need to be warned that I’m ‘a bit different’. They do not need to be prepared for me being a bit eccentric, or anything like that. You can tell them I’ll see them – once – and they can just take me as they find me.”
“Of course,” She told him sincerely, placing an affectionate hand on his arm. Tony let go of a little bit of the tension in his body.
Oh, this was a stupid idea. But.
“Fine.” He huffed. “Then, it’s fine.”