Work Text:
When he was very little and provided his mother was on planet every year she would take him to George's grave on his birthday, on the day his father died. Every year he would leave a flower on the grave that said George Kirk *Hero of the Kelvin disaster* and every year his mother would cry and Jim would look at the grave, not ever really feeling sad for the man he never knew, only sad for his mother's pain.
Later, on those not so happy birthdays they were usually forced to attend on of the memorials of George Kirk and Jim was would endure the looks of sympathy and the words about how brave his father had been and how proud he should be to be the child of such a hero, and while Jim did bare it all with as much grace as he could muster he had never known this father, and thus he did not feel like his son. He could never quite tolerate it all, and though several times he did, for his mother, Jim eventually ditched the memorials to go drink by himself and slowly Jim stopped visiting his fathers grave, and slowly Jim tried to forget.
He has never been known for being very sentimental.
As the years went on he barely thought of his father and how he had been a hero and how Jim was going no where. This was all aided by the fact that now his mother was rarely on planet at all and, without her he had always felt like he had no right to be at that grave. It wasn't that he had only gone to please his mother, when he was young he had felt pride in placing the flower by his fathers grave and comforting his mother. But after years of the endless memorials and his mother's sadness slowly turning to anger over Jims rebellious nature and the fact the fact that George had left her all alone to deal with him, Jim was fed up with the whole deal, yes, he was, somewhere in his heart proud of his father but the truth was he never knew the man so he never really felt guilt at never going to the grave anymore, there were no more flowers, no more comforting his mother (she was now on a deep space mission) and the truth was he didn't care, at least he thought he did not.
The night of his last bar fight in Iowa and the night that Pike convinced him to join Starfleet was the first night in at least five year that Jim had gone to see his fathers grave. It felt like the right thing to do, his father had been part of Starfleet too and Jim figured, hoped, that finally he could do something, anything that would make his father proud. Jim had even briefly considered contacting his mother to tell her, even though she had given up on him long ago he almost wanted her to know that he was finally doing something, but he resolved not to tell her, why should she care and moreover would she? Did she still care about Jim at all? She had abandoned him to go to space again after all.
None of that really mattered now though, it wasn't like he was going to enlist for either one of his parents, it was just that he knew that as soon as he really got away from this great middle-of-nowhere that he was unlikely to ever come back so, this being his last chance Jim laid the flower on his fathers grave and with that done, walked away, hes not a sentimental person.
Four years later…..
The day was cloudy but not cold even though it was nearing the end of December. Jim shifted uncomfortably at the gates to the cemetery that he had vowed he would not return to over four years ago. Why the hell did he come back? What the hell was he doing here of all places on his somewhat precious shore leave before the start of his five year deep space mission? What really did this place have for him?
Bone came up behind him and lightly patted Jim on the back almost pushing him through the gates
“Come one Jim, you know you have to.” Bone for once not exactly telling him but only gently reminding him
“He would proud to see you now, Jim. I mean look what you have done, not only becoming one of the youngest captains in Starfleet history but think of all the people you have saved and think of all the things you're about to see. You're a hero now Jim. A hero just like your father. You have done well.” Jim shot Bones a quick glance, that sort of praise coming from Bones was extremely rare but he seemed to mean it so with that, with the words of the only person that had really knew him and said he had done well ringing in his head Jim stepped forward in front of the grave and placed the flower in front of the stone that said George Kirk *Hero of the Kelvin disaster*. Hero, his father was a hero and now Jim, Jim was a hero, hero, hero.
James T. Kirk is not a sentimental person, but wait, for a second he was.
