Work Text:
Dear Cas,
Yesterday morning I jumped in Bobby’s old truck and drove to that little spot at the beach, the one where we took that home video together and you collected sea shells.
On the drive there, it wasn’t raining like it was when we wen’t, I even heard our song playing on the radio, and it was the first time I had cried in a while.
As I was sitting on the beach, in the sun light, I swore I saw you baby, I know I saw you.
God I miss you so.
Sitting on the beach made me realize that you were right, I never truly came home to you after Vietnam, not until you were sick in that small hospital room.
I hated myself for a while for leaving you like that, and it wasn’t until recently I forgave myself, because if you could forgive me then that must of mean’t something.
Cas, baby, i’ll be coming home to you soon, up in the sky.
I am sick, cancer, from all those cigarettes I use to smoke.
I will finally be able to look into your eyes instead of up at the sky to remember how they looked when ever you would stare into mine.
I’ll see your smile again, feel your warmth, and see the color back into your skin, to look like you again.
I hope you are there when I arrive, to take you into my arms and breath in your scent.
Jesus, I miss the way you smelt, even the sound of your voice, that beautiful low soft rumble.
God Cas, fuck I miss you.
It’s been way to long baby, but I am coming home, you’ll see.
I promised that I would come back home to you.