Archive of Our Own

He used to be brilliant. His art. His gift. It was the talk of many influential, filthy rich circles. Promising art graduate, who had excelled in many mediums, but had won the hearts and wallets of the rich with his eclectic abstract pieces. Pieces that, unfortunately, could only be fueled by the distorted mind that was under the influence; that could only be imagined when a few bottles of soju in. In the beginning, the art was fascinating and somewhat colorful. But it didn’t take long for a sort of darkness to take over the canvases; creating dark piece after dark piece. The connoisseurs wanted change, to go back to before, for brighter colors, something different. But Taehyung’s ever downward spiral could only produce what seemed like nightmares and lost hope. The crowds dropped to a few collectors, but even they turned tail at the darkness that Taehyung could only produce, as he continued to crawl his way to the bottom of bottles after bottles; moving from soju and beers to harder liquors.

The inspirations stopped coming after a while.

The money stopped coming in after a while.

And all that was left for Taehyung were the bottles that gave him false momentary releases from the despair and the art supplies that were eventually tucked away, collecting dust for two years.

But heaven sent came in the form of his best friend, his soul mate, his almost brother, Park Jimin. His Jiminie. His sweet Jimin, whose kindness overflowed; who couldn’t stand the sight of his precious Taehyungie fall so deep. Jimin was kind enough, about a year ago, to let him stay in his spare room after he had been kicked out of his flat. Jimin had so much love and hope to give.

…

Jimin had hoped, in the beginning, that with his help, he’d get his bestest friend since birth on track and healthy again. He loves Taehyung. He truly does. He honestly believes that his life would be dull and grey without his soulmate. And he’d do anything for him. But Jimin feels like he’s out of options. He’s done what he could to help Taehyung; supported him financially even when Taehyung kept getting fired from small part time jobs, given him a bed and shelter so that it was one thing to keep off his mind, was an emotional support for Taehyung when he was too sober and things got too much and too crowded in his brain. He’s tried to help him sober up the best he could, even leaving flyers of meetings and help here and there (only for Jimin to see Taehyung silently trash them); subtly throw out bottles that won’t be noticed. But Jimin has witnessed, that years of being at the bottom of various bottles has made Taehyung… mean. Easy to anger, sober or not. And a liar asking for money for things like food or clothes when it goes straight to booze. It’s a small mercy, tiny really, Jimin thinks, that the anger is only verbal. But words hurt still. And they stick to you like a scar.

So. It may seem like Jimin is a horrible person, the worst friend, but he is done. Done being lied to. Done being a verbal punching bag when Taehyung is in his worst moods. And he really is sick of the alcoholic stench clinging to his best friend and the trail of one night stands.
It’s the beginning of spring. And while Taehyung was still asleep from his fairly light binge from the night before, Jimin took advantage of this bright and sunny day to do some spring cleaning. Taehyung might get angry at all of the missing bottles, but Jimin is firm in his stance to have both of them move forward. And for Taehyung to finally get help.

It’s around noon when Taehyung final comes out, definitely not the latest he’s woken up. He’s between jobs at the moment, so he doesn’t feel bad about oversleeping. Grabbing coffee, he sits next to Jimin, feeling the tension coming off of the smaller man. Taehyung takes a few glances to the side at his best friend as he sips his sweetened coffee. Jimin sits with back straight and hands resting in his lap, clenched together. It’s silent for a few moments.

“Taehyung-ah. Look at me.”

Taehyung sets his coffee down and turns to look at his best friend. Jimin takes the time to observe his soulmate, and despite the bloodshot eyes, Taehyung seems to be sober enough.

“Tae. I’m going to tell you something. And you’re going to sit there and stay quiet and listen. Okay?”

Taehyung feels apprehension seep into his bones. “Jiminie? What’re you…”

“Okay?” Jimin’s eyes and voice are hard.

Taehyung merely nods in response.

Jimin inhales and begins.

“Joonie-hyung is finally gonna move in before the start of the fall semester. And you can stay, I want you to stay. But.”

Taehyung feels his stomach getting uncomfortable and he knows it’s not from the hangover.

“But. You have to get sober Taehyungie. And stay sober,” Jimin can feel his voice start to wobble. “And you have to get and hold down a job TaeTae.”

“Sober? Jimin there’s nothing wrong with me!” Taehyung feels his stomach churn. There’s nothing wrong.

“There is Taehyung!” Taehyung jumps at the emotion in his friend’s voice. “You’ve all but dropped everyone you love. You practically live in a bottle Tae-ah! You drink to oblivion almost every night…”

Taehyung can feel his eyes water, a heat burning in his chest from these accusations.

“I do not!” Indignation.

“I just trashed ten bottles that you bought this past month Tae! Ten! Most of them close to empty!”

Taehyung feels the heat rise to his throat and jumps up. “You threw them away!? What the hell Jimin! Those weren’t yours to throw away! Jesus Christ Jimin!”

“See!” Taehyung stops for a moment, like a sliver of clarity, to see his best friend crying. It’s silent, the only sounds are the birds outside, Taehyung’s breathing, and the sad crying coming from Jimin.

“Jimin-ah…” Tae softens his voice, wanting to reach out but unsure.

“Can’t you see yourself Tae-ah?! Hear yourself? You get so mean and there’s only so much I can handle,” Jimin sobs, desparately trying to wipe his tears away. “I just want my old Taehyung back,” he finishes in a whisper, tears and emotion clogging his voice.

Taehyung looks to a mirror hanging across the room. His hair is greasy and knotted. His usually tanned face is pale and sickly looking, gaunt where baby fat had once been prominent. His eyes are bloodshot with dark circles under. And his lips are ungodly chapped, breaking open to bleed when he stretches them too much. When did he get so unrecognizable? Tears are also running down his face and for the first time in years, he realizes how deep he’s fallen.

He crumples to the ground by Jimin’s legs, whispering “sorries” into Jimin’s knee. He feels a hand hesitantly settle into his unkempt hair.

“Tae-ah,” Jimin’s voice is still thick with tears, “You can say sorry all you want, bu that’s not enough.” Despite Jimin’s reproach, his voice is not unkind. “I need you to be better. To really try. I need you to want to be better. Tae-ah, do you hear me? Are you listening?” Taehyung looks up, tears and snot making a mess on his face. “I want you to stay. I do. But I also need to respect myself. And I can’t do that with all this toxicity. You either need to get better or leave Taehyung.”

Taehyung nods his head fervently.

“Do you understand? Tae.”

Taehyung scrambles to kneel straighter. “Jiminie. I wanna stay. And be better. Please.”

Despite the earnest look, Jimin feels a bit of skepticism. “Taehyung. You aren’t just saying this are you?”

Taehyung grasps onto Jimin’s small hands, face pleading.

“No! No, no. I .” He clenches the hands tightly. “I want to change. I don’t deserve your trust or love or friendship. I don’t. But.” Fresh tears come to his eyes. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I know you said it doesn’t cut it,” he rushes to explain when Jimin opens his mouth to interrupt him. “I didn’t…” He licks his chapped lips. “I spiraled so far down and I didn’t even realize it. Please. I’ll do anything Jiminie. Therapy. Groups. Uh. Any kind of treatment. Just. Please don’t leave me.” Taehyung’s eyes plead with his best friend, with his soulmate.

“Oh Tae-ah.” Jimin brings the too skinny boy up beside him on the couch. Taehyung nestles into his best friend, tears and snot soaking the other’s shirt. “It won’t be easy Tae-ah.”

Taehyung gives a small nod against his shoulder.

“You’ll have to quit drinking. You’ll have to quit bringing liquor home and going out. Tae-ah,” Jimin brings Taehyung out from against his shoulder, small hands framing the too skinny face. “Do you understand?”

Taehyung gives another nod and small yes.

“I. I have a few recommendations that I’ve seen. Mostly flyers but. They might help.”

Taehyung breathes a stuttered deep breath, emotions still high, and nods.

“It’s a step. Right?” Taehyung asks lowly.

For the first time in a long time, Taehyung sees Jimin give him a small smile. “Yeah, it’s a step.”

After a while, Jimin sends Taehyung to take a shower. They’re both emotionally exhausted and Jimin knows that the time apart, no matter how short, will do them some good to calm down. While Taehyung takes his time, Jimin goes to his room and collects the flyers and a brochure or two he’s accrued over the past few months, knowing that they’ll have to discuss Taehyung’s help sooner rather than later.

They cuddle on the couch after a good while, Taehyung’s hair still damp from the shower. Jimin brooches the subject of options and after a lengthy discussion, decide on a free AA weekly group that meets a few stops from their apartment.

Jimin feels better about the situation already but he worries.

He worries as he holds Taehyung tighter because he can tell the other is already itching for a sip. He worries when coffee and flavored water do nothing to quench a thirst (and it’s only the first night). He worries as Taehyung starts to get irritable as the day turns to evening.

They somehow survive the night with Taehyung trying his best by drinking water and tea, by keeping his mouth shut so he doesn’t hurt his soulmate any further with poisonous words. He tries his best, and they both survive.

…

The next day, Taehyung is crabby, thirsty for something he shouldn’t have, and emotionally and mentally exhausted.

When he left the apartment earlier for the first meeting, he had seen the ever darkening under eye circles and the pallid of his skin, which used to be a healthy, glowy tan. Glowering at his reflection at the train station from under his hoodie, he looks and feels absolutely awful.

He tucks himself into a corner of the train car, which is surprisingly packed for the late morning, when he sees him. The man sits on the opposite side, squished between an older woman and another man. It’s almost humorous to Taehyung, to see the way the man has to hunch in on himself with the seemingly wide shoulders he possesses. Throughout the journey, Taehyung sneaks peaks at the man and takes in the light brown hair that’s parted, showing off intense eyebrows despite his face being completely relaxed. It’s easier for Taehyung to peak when he notices the man’s eyes are closed and he decides to blatantly stare. He knows art when he sees.

The man’s skin is clear and blemish free and his lips are pink and lush looking. The other is wearing a pale pink sweater and plain jeans with non-descript tennis shoes adorning his feet. All in all, an average look for such a stunning face. Clenched in his tiny like fists that rest on his lap, are straps to what looks like a canvas tote bag. The man is beautiful and Taehyung doesn’t even look away when the man opens his eyes, cheeks and ears turning pink at his blatant staring. He only does look away when he remembers how awful he looks presently. He feels the embarrassment and shame, unworthy to look at such beauty, when he himself is such a mess.

Despite all that, Taehyung does feel an itch. It worries him at first, but then he realizes, that for the first time in years, this itch, this thirst feels significantly different from the one he gets when he needs a drop of liquor. His fingers twitch and he’s not sure what this is.

His musings are cut short as he feels the train slow down and he notices that it’s his stop. He feels awkward as he stands at the same time as the other man, feeling like he’s unintentionally following the other. But as he walks out, a safe distance behind the other, and the sun hits “Train Man”, Taehyung finally understands. He stops in the middle of the flow of people and loses sight of the brown hair and broad back as he realizes.

Taehyung’s thirst, this itch, isn’t for whiskey or tequila, but rather for his pencils, his paint brushes, things long packed away collecting dust.

He’s jarred out of his thoughts by a passing shoulder check and makes his way to the meeting. He texts Jimin when he enters the building, making sure his location is on since, understandably, his best friend doesn’t fully trust him yet.

Taehyung feels awkward when he walks in. There are about 20 people milling about, most are chatting with each other and others are sitting in the rows of chairs. Looking around more, he feels his heart skip a beat seeing “Train Man” walking around handing out papers and happily chatting with everyone. Taehyung eventually goes to sit and isn’t sure where to look and settles on his hoodie pocket, pushed out by his hands inside. His attention shifts when a sheet of paper is brought to his line of sights. As his gaze shifts up, he sees well-manicured nails, cute crooked fingers, and a pink sleeve. There stands “Train Man” smiling at him, cheeks bunched up and Taehyung feels himself stare in awe again. He absentmindedly takes the offered sheet and can only nod at the man who gives him a soft welcome before moving on.

The meeting starts and Taehyung zones out after the organizer, Yoongi, and his assistant/volunteer (Train Man) Seokjin, introduces themselves. He’s busy sketching out soft eyes above rounded cheeks when he’s softly nudged by the closest person next to him.

He looks up, eyes on him, and feels his cheeks heat up. Train Ma- Seokjin, smiles gently.

“Would you like to introduce yourself?”

His right hand curls into the paper he’s holding and looks down.

“Is it necessary?” His voice is deep as he answers in the quiet room.

“It’s not, no,” Seokjin replies softly.

Taehyung just shakes his head in reply.

“That’s fine, no worries.”

The meeting continues.

Taehyung doesn’t really pay attention, but he eventually notices that people around him are starting to stand up and he realizes that the meeting is over with. He looks around and sees others mingling, some heading over to what looks like a snack table. He kind of just wants to go home and the choice is made for him when he sees Seokjin head towards him. He books it out of the building.

On the train back, he studies his sketch. He might be rusty, but the eyes hold life despite the typed words blocking up the page.

When he arrives home, Jimin is waiting for him on the couch, eager to hear about how the meeting went. He suddenly feels bad. Taehyung had promised to engage in this change wholeheartedly and all he has to show for it is a sketch on the meeting’s agenda.

“It… it was good. Quite a few people. We just. Talked?” Taehyung looks down at his feet, still standing in the entry way. The piece of paper burning a hole in his hoodie pocket.

Jimin cocks his head. “Just talked? About what?” “Well-“ “Wait! You don’t have to tell me! I’m sorry Tae-Tae,” Jimin rushes up to pull Taehyung further into the apartment. “I’m just so. Happy? That you went. Is all.” He smiles brightly, cheeks bunching up to hide his eyes.

Taehyung just nods. He’s tired, he’s thirsty, he’s hungry. Despite how run down he feels, he wants to go out like he did before. But he made a promise, to not only Jimin, but to himself.

“Will you go again?” Jimin cautiously asks, his hand petting Taehyung’s.

Taehyung bites his lip thinking. He doesn’t necessarily have to go to this place for help. They have a list of different groups and he could try some place else. But he thinks of “Train Man” aka Seokjin. Despite of his lack of self-confidence, he wants to see the beautiful man again. So he nods, affirming Jimin’s question.

“That’s wonderful Tae-ah. It really is.”

Taehyung looks up at his best friend, his anchor and feels warmth and hope blossom in his chest for the first time in a long time. Despite how much Jimin doesn’t really trust him, despite how much bullshit he put him through, Jimin still has his back. It’s fragile, but Taehyung is going to try. He’s going to try his ultimate best.

The rest of the week sees Taehyung looking for a job to have and keep. He finds potential in a part time opening just down the street at an up and coming hipster bakery. But his mind keeps drifting back to the simple sheet of paper that hides with the rest of his art supplies in the back of his closet. His tired mind can’t seem to comprehend that after so many years, he could actually- draw, do art. Create something. Without the help of alcohol. But it also bothers him because he’s thinking of his art, of how he created once, how it became necessary to lose himself in a binge because it felt good and he was inspired.

Would he become just as obsessed with “Train Man” like he did alcohol in order to keep his creativity flowing? Could he simply keep “Train Man” as his muse at a distance?

The idea of losing himself in something else, someone else, that could become toxic like his alcoholism bugs him for the rest of the week. By the next meeting, he’s holed himself up in his room, self-grounding him from his snappiness towards his Jiminie. It’d been just over a week since his last drop of alcohol and yet his body and mind were struggling to cope, feelings of anxiety running through his body randomly throughout the days. He’s not entirely sure how he’ll face his friend by the end of it all.

The second meeting goes by the same, though Taehyung doesn’t meet Seokjin (he’s been trying to call his “muse” by his proper name) on the train. Taehyung knows he should pay attention to the meeting and that he should speak up when it’s his turn, but he keeps telling himself he’s not ready for that. Oh how Jimin would be disappointed, he thinks, as he draws a pair of lush lips on his agenda paper.

Though this time, Taehyung doesn’t make it out of the meeting as quick as he did last time. He’s half way out of his seat, folding his newest artwork when the organizer Yoongi and Seokjin rush to his chair.

“Here!” Taehyung sits back down, startled by Seokjin’s louder than normal voice and a folder being shoved into his face.

Yoongi sighs and takes the folder from Seokjin.

“What Seokjin hyung is trying to say, is that this packet is for you,” this time the shorter man hands the packet to Taehyung gently. Confused, Taehyung reaches up and takes it.

“It’s for… the quieter people who join the group, for those who have a harder time paying attention for whatever their reason,” Seokjin quietly explains this time. “It.. can be hard for those who are more introverted than not,” Seokjin shoots a small smile at his companion. “So while you might not want to verbally participate or have hard time focusing, these tools can help you go over what we’ve talked about and what we will talk about in the future.” Seokjin softly explains.

“It’s a huge step, coming to these meetings alone,” Yoongi softly says. “It can be intimidating, even scary to some. But the fact that you’ve. Recognized why you want and need to be here is good, great even. You don’t have to participate, but it’d be nice to hear you… and it really does help to let it out.”

Taehyung doesn’t know what to say. His mouth parts in shock and wonder at these two kind people.

“I’m…” Taehyung starts off but he’s still not sure. “Thank you. For the material.” He frowns at the packet. “I’m trying,” he finally says as he looks back up.

Seokjin smiles and reaches a hand to Taehyung’s shoulder. “That’s enough.”

When Taehyung returns home, he feels emotionally raw, like he had bared his soul for all to see, when all he did was receive encouragement. He feels strange.

For the first time in years that evening, Taehyung pulls out his sketchbook, edges yellowed by time and damp air, and draws a face.

…

Taehyung gets the job at the bakery down the street from their apartment. They celebrate with Namjoon ordering from Taehyung’s favorite restaurant and a stark reminder of keeping said job. Taehyung knows, he understands, the importance of this, of being able to prove to Jimin and himself that he’s changing. For good.

He works short hours a few times a week and it’s a good change of pace. He still feels cranky every once in a while but his physical need for alcohol lessens bit by bit as time goes on, but it could be worse, he thinks, for only three weeks without it. Taehyung doesn’t remember the last time he went without alcohol for more than a few days, never mind a few weeks.

Things seem to be looking up, he thinks as he makes his way to the train.

Things are not looking up.

Even though it had been the third meeting, Seokjin had refused to give him an agenda paper for the meeting, so he feels antsy sitting here, not being able to do anything with his hands. To draw.

And what a disappointment that is, seeing Seokjin’s wind swept hair, form-fitting skinny jeans, plaid top.

It’s not until after the meeting that he finds out why he was refused a sheet.

“I’m not sure what you’re doing, a manifesto or doodling, but it’d be nice to have you focus a little more on the meeting rather than taking glances at me.” Seokjin explains quietly, steering the confused Taehyung to the refreshment table.

“You gave me that packet because I wasn’t focusing,” Taehyung shot back, just as quiet.

“True. But are you focusing because you can’t or because you don’t want to?”

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek.

“Here, have this cookie. It’s made by an ahjumma down the street. Her cookies are delightful. Very airy and light,” Seokjin mutters, placing a cookie on a napkin and handing it to Taehyung.

“Neither.”

“Hmm?” Seokjin asks, turning to look at Taehyung.

Taehyung doesn’t meet his eyes and just looks down at the cookie.

“I’m not focused because I can’t or don’t want to. I’m just. I’m drawing. On the papers. And it helps me… feel centered? I don’t know how to describe it but. It feels good. To do so.” Taehyung shrugs and takes a bite of the cookie. It is pretty good.

Taehyung feels Seokjin place his hand on his arm in comfort. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

He just shrugs in response.

“Follow me okay?”

Taehyung follows Seokjin to a small patio outside of the building, the sun shining brightly in the spring air.

“You know, I’ve never gotten your name. I just keep calling you “Train Guy” in my head from the first meeting,” Seokjin laughs.

Taehyung chokes on the cookie when he hears the nickname for him. The odds.

“You okay?” Seokjin ask, lightly patting his back. Taehyung just nods.

“Taehyung,” he wheezes out. “My name is Taehyung.”

Seokjin chuckles, “Nice to meet you Taehyung-ssi.”

They sit by each other in silence, only the sounds of the city and nature providing background noise.

“I am sorry about earlier. People have different ways of being safe and feeling good, I didn’t know yours was drawing,” Seokjin softly comments in the afternoon air.

“It’s fine. It’s.. I have a difficult relationship with art. It,” Taehyung hesitates, not sure what to give away. “It became toxic. I haven’t wanted to touch a pencil or paint brush in years,” he mutters, picking at a small hole in his jeans.

Seokjin doesn’t ask for clarity, he just nods in some sort of understanding.

“I’ve never had an addiction,” Seokjin offers. “Well, I may play Maple Story a bit too much, but not so much that needs help. But still,” he says with a small smile, eyes staring into the street. “The reason I volunteer for AA groups is because I almost lost my cousin. It woke me up to a different side of life, something dark, dreary, something toxic. For me, my way of… trying to feel better, was to figure out how I can help save a life, at the very least give some kind of hope to others.” Seokjin finishes, looking down at the ground below them.

“Almost?”

“Hmm?”

“You said “almost lost my cousin”. They’re okay?” Taehyung asks, thinking of how scary that must have been.

Seokjin tsks in response. “If you had been paying attention last week, you would’ve heard Yoongi’s story,” he chides gently.

Taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise. Oh.

“Sorry,” Taehyung looks sheepishly at the ground, embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

It’s quiet again between them for a bit before Seokjin stands up.

“It’s you!” Taehyung quickly exclaims, his face turning an unhealthy shade of red. He can’t believe he said that.

Seokjin turns to Taehyung, who has taken to hiding his face in his hands.

“It’s me what?” The man sounds horribly confused.

Taehyung groans into his hands, not sure how to proceed.

The truth apparently.

“My drawings. They’re. All of you,” his response is muffled in his hands. “From that day on the train. I felt… inspired to draw again.”

It’s quiet before Taehyung feels Seokjin remove his hands from his face. Taehyung peaks at the other and sees a lovely shade of pink on his cheeks. Seokjin bites his lip before saying anything.

“It makes sense,” he offers. Taehyung is confused.

“What does?”

“Why you would take random glances at me during the meetings.”

Taehyung groans again in embarrassment, unable to hide his entire existence in his hands since they were still being held by Seokjin. Seokjin chuckles.
“Hm. I don’t mind. Not really. I’m flattered more than anything, my face works hard Taehyung-ssi. Please do it justice.”

Taehyung shoots Seokjin an uneasy look and Seokjin just smiles in return.

“I really don’t mind. If this helps you, I don’t mind you drawing me. Just. Nothing inappropriate,” Seokjin cringes a bit at the last bit.

“No! No, of course not!” Taehyung couldn’t imagine doing such a thing, not without their permission.

“Well, if you want to keep drawing during the meetings, go ahead. Just, try to pay attention a bit?” Seokjin queries, head cocked to the side.

Taehyung just nods.

The whole interaction leaves Taehyung off kilter in a funny, bubbly way. He feels drunk, that weird light headedness feeling, when he gets back to his apartment, stumbling a bit when he enters and takes his shoes off.

And Jimin worries.

“I’m not drunk. Jiminie I swear! I’m not! Not even a sip,” Taehyung says almost desperately, kneeling in front of a concerned Jimin, large hands holding small ones. “You can even smell my breath! Haaa,” Taehyung exhales some hot air, and Jimin pulls back.

“Gross Taehyungie,” he gripes and then sighs. Jimin really looks at Taehyung. He sees clear eyes, his dark under eye circles lessening. He sees a better Taehyung. He feels bad for assuming the worst.

Jimin’s expression crumples. “I’m sorry Taehyungie. I didn’t mean to assume the worst.” Tears spring to his eyes and he feels ashamed.

“No, no Jimine,” Taehyung reaches up to wipe the tears from Jimin’s eyes. “No. Never apologize. We’re both trying and we’re both doing our best. You’ve been through so much because of me; I wouldn’t trust me either,” Taehyung says, trying his best to console his friend.

Jimin shakes his head. “No, I do trust you. I trust you so much. It’s just. Sometimes I slip up and I don’t mean to. You’re doing so great Tae-Tae. So great.”

Taehyung stands up to sit next to his friend and hugs him. He pulls him into his body and holds his closest friend, his soulmate in this life and the next, tightly.

They stay like this for a while, just the clock ticking in the background, the muted show Jimin had been watching, forgotten. Eventually Jimin pulls back and looks at his Taehyung.

“But why were you stumbling when you came in? You had a dazed look on your face.” He looks closely at his friend, eyes narrowing at the flush that spreads across the other’s face.

“Taehyung… did. Did you meet someone?” Jimin asks incredulously.

“What?! No! Of course not! No. There isn’t anyone.” Taehyung defends, pointedly not looking at Jimin.

Jimin sighs. “Tae-ah…” Taehyung knows that tone.

“Don’t be mad at me Jimin-ah…” Taehyung pouts. He stands up, pulling Jimin with him and takes him towards his room. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “That depends Tae, you know that.”

Taehyung nods, then inhales deeply before opening the door.

The first thing Jimin sees is how messy the floor is. There are papers everywhere and a scattering of clothes, but his attention is drawn to two pieces of paper taped to the wall right across from the door. Jimin steps closer, careful of the mess, and looks at beautifully done eyes and lips. He looks around this time and pauses at the sketch book opened wide and the papers from it scattered on the small desk at the foot of the bed.

“Tae-ah… are you…?” Jimin trails off looking at the new artwork. Jimin picks up one sheet and the image is of a man he’s never seen. The man is wearing a pink sweater and his handsome face is laughing at something, cheeks bunched in happiness. But it’s the eyes that catch Jimin’s attention. These eyes show life and a kind of clarity Jimin’s never seen.

“Who is this?” His question isn’t accusing, just curious awe.

Taehyung had been wrangling his hands together in nervousness since he opened the door. Letting his friend see his art after years of nothing was nothing short of nerve wrecking. He doesn’t have to know which work Jimin is asking about; they are all of the same person.

“He’s. I saw him on the train, that day of the first meeting. He was just sitting there, with his eyes closed, squished between two people and yet. When he opened his eyes, something just,” Taehyung couldn’t find the words. “Something connected in me? I just. I felt the need to do something, I felt an itch.” Jimin turns to look at Taehyung when he says that, worry etched on his face. “Not like that. Not like I’m with alcohol,” Taehyung looks at his hands. “It was an old itch, to create something.” He laughs a bit. “I saw someone so beautiful, I had to create. That first meeting, I sketched that one on the wall, with the eyes. The second one I did the lips. I should’ve been paying attention but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry I lied to you Jiminie,” Jimin offers a confused look. “For making it seem like I was pay attention. These meetings are supposed to help, but I just sit there and draw.” Taehyung explains, looking sadly at Jimin.

“But you got that packet right?” Jimin asks, even though he’s confused about a great many things.

Taehyungs nods. “Yeah, and some of the things in there help. Like the journaling thing. I’m just. I’m supposed to go there for help, but I’m going for my own selfish reasons.” Taehyung sighs and sits on his messy bed, preparing himself for a scolding.

He feels Jimin sit next to him and looks over to see him still looking at the drawing. It had been from the first meeting, Seokjin had said something to Yoongi and started laughing, though Yoongi did not look amused. He couldn’t get that scene out of his mind, so he drew it later, immortalizing it for himself.

“Who… who is this?” Jimin asks, he sounds hesitant, but curious.

“His name is Seokjin. He’s a volunteer at the meetings. He’s related to the organizer.”

“Have… You haven’t been drinking when you did these?” Jimin is quiet to ask. He knows there hasn’t been any liquor in the house since that fateful spring day weeks ago, but he has to know.

It stings, it shouldn’t, Taehyung thinks, but it does. But he understands as well. A good majority of his art had been done under the influence and to suddenly start up again… it’s suspicious at best.

“No,” Taehyung whispers. “All of these, were completely sober. I promise Jiminie. I just. I felt the need, the want to draw something. My mind… that first time, probably wasn’t the best, but I’m getting better. You know this. Please.” He grasps Jimin’s arm.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Jimin replies, finally looking at Taehyung. “Tae-ah. These are wonderful. There’s life to them, I can see, feel it. Does he know?”

Taehyung blushes. “Yeah… I accidentally let it slip today.”

Jimin giggles. “Of course. I expected as such, my silly Tae-Tae. But he’s okay with it?”

Taehyung nods. “Yeah. He was really flattered about it, to be honest. He understood my reason for doing so, for it being good for me.”

Jimin exhales heavily. “Okay Tae-ah. I’m not mad. I want the best for you, because you’re my bright star.” Taehyung’s eyes begin to tear up. “I’m just… cautious. And you know why. But. If this is making you feel better, be better, then keep going okay?” Taehyung nods enthusiastically. “Just. Please focus more on the meetings. I can see how awkward it could be, but try more. Please?” Jimin pleads, his eyes so honest.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try more.”

…

Weeks pass and Taehyung finds himself in a comfortable pattern of work, AA meetings, and drawing. He feels better, like he’s actually making progress. He even becomes closer with Seokjin and Yoongi, eventually earning their friendship and phone numbers. And it’s because of this fact, that Taehyung is grateful.

He’s not entirely sure how it happened, but he’s gotten himself into a fight with Jimin. He’s been irritably lately, a weird itch climbing up his spine he had thought he’d lost and nothing was helping, not drawing, not distracting himself anything else. Jimin had gotten into a fight with his Namjoon, an argument about how Namjoon had been spending too much time on campus with a pretty student, that he had accidentally missed their anniversary date.

There’s a weird sort of tension in the apartment, one that Taehyung isn’t sure how to dispel and quite frankly doesn’t really care about, he thinks as he tries to fix the watercolors on his painting.

The front slams, but he isn’t concerned.

“Kim Taehyung!”

“Taehyung! Taehyung!” Jimin bursts into Taehyung’s room.

“What?” Taehyung grumbles back. Why wasn’t the color coming out right?

“Taehyung! Why isn’t supper ready?” Jimin asks irritably.

“Uh… maybe because I’m not your servant?” Taehyung snarks back.

“I messaged you earlier asking you to make or order something!”

“I haven’t looked at my phone in hours Jimin.”

Jimin sighs heavily. “Look. Today has been a shit day at work and I just had hoped you’d do something nice instead of languishing about on your art.”

“Well excuse fucking me Prince Jimin. Let me get on that,” Taehyung snaps, finally looking at Jimin. Jimin looks terrible. There are dark circles under his eyes and Taehyung knows he’s been losing weight from the fight with Namjoon because he hasn’t been eating well. Doesn’t mean he has to take it out him.

But Taehyung does not get on that, and instead turns back to his painting.

Jimin is not having it. It takes seconds, but the painting is swiped from under him and Taehyung looks up in shock to see Jimin rip it.

“What the fuck Jimin?!” Taehyung stands up, angry an understatement.

“Oh so now you’ll get up and pay attention? All I asked was for some help with food, it’s not like I asked you to clean the whole damn place Taehyung! Not that you would with you lazing about!”

“Again what the fuck? I told you I hadn’t checked my phone in hours! I can’t be at your beck and call all the time Jimin! That’s what Namjoon’s for! Or wait, maybe he got sick and tired of it!” Taehyung spits back, and he knows later, he’ll regret it especially seeing the hurt flash across Jimin’s face.

“Well at least I don’t have to always crawl down a fucking bottle to get over my feelings! Was your artwork just now not right? Better get yourself some liquor to make yourself feel better!”

Taehyung thinks it would’ve hurt less to be physically slapped.

It takes a moment, but when Jimin realizes what he’s said, his expression crumples and tears well up.

“Taehyung-ah… I’m so-“

“No,” Taehyung is breathing hard, too hard for it to just be anger. “I don’t want to fucking…” He gasps. He can’t breathe. “Fucking hear it. Fuck you Jimin.”

Taehyung grabs his hoodie, which he knows has his cell, and leaves the room.

“Tae-ah! Tae-ah wait, where are you going?” Jimin follows, openly crying now.

“Out. I’m. I can’t be here right now Jimin,” Taehyung replies, his voice cold.

Taehyung wants to slam the door when he leaves, but he closes it gently.

He’s forever grateful when Seokjin answers the phone.

“Hyung.”
…

Yoongi lets Taehyung in with only a nod of welcome. He’s grateful, he’s not sure he could talk about anything right now.

Taehyung sits at their table, food slowly cooling.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come,” Taehyung says quietly and starts to get up again. Seokjin stops him with a firm hand on his arm.

“Tae-ah, sit. Please. We wouldn’t have said it was okay to come over if we didn’t mean it. Seriously. I’ll make you some tea okay?” Seokjin pulls him down and gets up to make tea.

Taehyung stares blankly at the dining table set-up before glancing at Yoongi who’s staring at him. He doesn’t have much of a good read on the older male, but he knows he’s kind and genuine in everything he says and does.

“Sorry hyung,” Taehyung offers again.

“Don’t worry about it. Seokjin hyung said you sounded pretty upset. When you’re ready, you can tell us. I promise, no judgments.”

Taehyung merely nods in thanks.

Taehyung declines their offer of food, his stomach in too many knots to consume anything other than the tea he’s given.

It’s not until an hour or so later, when all three of them are sitting in the living room watching some inane sitcom, that Taehyung opens up.

He tells them about the fight, about the awful things he said, about the awful things Jimin said. He tells them about Jimin’s fight with his boyfriend. He tells them about that awful itch that’s been crawling up his spine for something to drink and that the smallest things were making him irritable.

“Shouldn’t I be over this by now? It’s been almost two months!” Taehyung exclaims in frustration.

Yoongi and Seokjin share a look.

“Tae-ah, no one gets over this kind of thing so easily,” Yoongi calmly says. “I’ve been sober for three years now but every once in a while I still get that urge. The urge to drown.”

“You do?” Taehyung meekly asks.
“Did you listen at the meetings when I told my story Tae-ah?” Taehyung shakes his in embarrassment. Yoongi tsks. “Short of it is, my home life was kind of fucked. I wanted to do what I wanted and my parents were adamant I didn’t do it, abusively. So I started early because what better can numb the pain but alcohol?” Seokjin reached over to put a comforting hand on Yoongi’s arm. “Once I was free I was able to pursue my dream. But I even that was a nightmare. Do you know what I do for a living, outside of AA’s?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“I’m a music producer. A pretty successful one. But I almost lost it, as well as my life. There are shady people in this industry, and they’ll do what they can to make sure you drown.”

Taehyung feels a look of confusion cross his face.

“I never stopped drinking after I left home and it became worse when I started soaring through the industry. Parties after parties. My depression and anxiety seemed to go away when I was under, but then the alcohol wasn’t enough. I…” Seokjin squeezed his arm tightly. “I was extremely shitfaced one night. Everything was blurry and I could barely walk anywhere. The company I was under back then were threatening me, saying I had stolen music from other producers there. I knew it wasn’t true, but everyone in the company started giving me the cold shoulder and the snide remarks got… too much. That night…” Yoongi pauses again and Taehyung feels himself hold his breath, emotions threatening to come up. “Let’s just say I was lucky my cousin was coming for a visit that night.” Yoongi turns to look at Seokjin, both of them with tears in their eyes. “He pulled me back. He saved my life that night. And every day and night afterwards.”

Taehyung exhales, bringing his hands up to wipe away his tears.

“Tae-ah,” Seokjin says, voice soft but emotional. “Do you know why you’ve been so irritable? Why that itch comes back?”

He shakes his but doesn’t say anything, waiting for an answer.

“It’s called dry alcoholism. You may not be drinking anymore, but because you haven’t dealt with the problem or problems emotionally and or mentally, your body reacts as if you’ve drank some. You regress in your progress without a single sip.” Seokjin gently explains.

It… makes sense, Taehyung thinks. He really hasn’t dealt with the issues, just thinking that stopping and getting help is enough.

“Tae-ah, have you told anyone about why you had started drinking? Have you told anyone your story?” Seokjin gently asks.

“No. Only Jimin knows about it because he was there with me,” Taehyung whispers, fiddling with his fingers.

“So you haven’t had an outlet to share,” Yoongi states.

Taehyung just shakes his head. He thought he had been doing better, but that was only the surface of the issue.

“Well,” Yoongi says, standing up, “I’m going to head to bed. I’m tired. You’re welcome to stay overnight Taehyung, okay?” Taehyung nods and doesn’t miss the significant look that passes between the two cousins.

“Thank you Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung offers quietly.

It’s quiet in the living room when it’s just Taehyung and Seokjin. He sits there in the silence while Seokjin gets Taehyung another tea, when it starts raining outside. The windows are open and Taehyung feels the cool breeze waft into the apartment. It feels good. It feels soothing in a way.

Taehyung’s nursing his hot cup of tea when he decides… to finally share.

“In university, I majored in art,” his voice is low. “I was pretty good at it, still am really. I mixed a lot of different mediums and a lot of my pieces were pretty popular. My third year is when it… went sideways. I always had issues with anxiety growing up and my depression started at the end of my freshman year but. I thought I had a handle on it to be honest. It wasn’t bad enough for meds so I muddled through. I’m not… exactly sure what happened my third year. All I know was that I started losing inspiration. I couldn’t focus and I was slipping in my classes. I had found out that I was failing one of art courses and I binged the following weekend. It was the first time I ever drank that heavily, since I’m actually a light weight. My… Jimin, found me in my room after it, and apparently I had created some of the best works in my university career.” Taehyung takes a sip of his tea and he feels Seokjin offering quiet reassurance with a hand on his shoulder.

“It didn’t take me long to realize that I could do better and be better at my craft when I wasn’t sober. So I drank. A lot. It started out only on the weekends, but then as I kept going, the more I enjoyed the taste of it. So I would pick one day of the week and just drink then, and then more days were added. It was… mostly a blur. I started blowing off Jimin to hang out with the partiers of the school. But my art became, extraordinary. Word spread around and off campus. Of this art genius. My stuff started being shown in art galleries and people were actually buying my works. A third year’s work! And Jimin,” Taehyung chokes up. “He was so proud. Despite me ditching him all the time, he was so proud of me.” Taehyung feels hot tears fall down his cheeks.

“He… he didn’t know about the alcohol until later. By then, my art work had taken a turn… it started reflecting my mind. Even though I was being inspired, my depression had been getting worse. It was so obvious when I was sober, but the alcohol quieted my mind. So I kept drinking, and my work became darker. Less and less people wanted my art and soon it was just a niche of potential buyers. Jimin found out at one of the gallery showings.” Taehyung swallows, feeling sadness and embarrassment crawl up his throat.

“I had shown up to the showing, for the first time since I started down this road, pretty tipsy. And the champagne they were serving didn’t help. One of the patrons there had made a snide comment about one of my works and I lost it,” Taehyung uses a sleeve to wipe away the hot tears. “Jimin had to drag me to the bathrooms to calm down. It was the first time I ever yelled at him like that. But he stayed with me anyways. I had gotten sick in the bathroom and he stayed and helped me clean up. Helped me get home. Stayed with me the whole night.” Taehyung pauses, letting out a sob at the wave of emotion coursing through him. Seokjin sits calmly by his side, wrapping his arm around his shoulders to give comfort.

“The next morning I had apologized profusely. I sort of explained what had been happening in my life, everything but the continuous use of alcohol. He accepted everything with a smile and a hug. Everything stayed the same for a good while. My artwork was selling less and less. Galleries wanting to show my work lessened as well. Until there was nothing. I had nothing after I had graduated. I couldn’t paint a god damn flower to sell. That’s when…” Taehyung swallows roughly. “That’s when I stopped. Even the alcohol I was drinking wasn’t helping me anymore. But Christ did it feel good. That floaty feeling you get when you’re fucking plastered,” Taehyung chuckles bitterly.

“I didn’t even realize I had crawled into a bottle and made it home,” Taehyung scoffs, looking out the window. “I still had my previous drinking “friends” from school who would supply me with a good time. I had my looks that brought in free drink after free drink,” Taehyung shakes his head in disgust. “Jimin did bring me up for a bit. I got kicked out of my apartment over a year ago. I couldn’t keep a job and had no money coming in from my useless works. So he took me in. He fed me, clothed me, gave me shelter. And all I did was yell at him, get drunk, and parade one night stands in and out of the apartment.” Taehyung rubs his eyes harshly with his free hand, anger at himself fill him.

“Tae-ah…” Seokjin admonishes gently.

“I wasn’t even aware of it, how bad it was. I felt better when I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t feel my disappointment in myself for not creating art. I didn’t feel my depression eating me up from the inside. But I didn’t realize that it was destroying my friendship with Jimin. He’s… he’s always been so good to me. We’ve been friends since we were babies you know?” Taehyung lets out a sincere smile at that. “Stuck to the hip. He’s the best soulmate in this world. And I…” Taehyung feels tears well up again. “And I just. Yelled at him. Told him awful things. Walked all over his kindness. Jesus what kind of friend am I?!” Taehyung drops the cup and sobs into his hands.

Seokjin fully hugs him, offering soft hushes and murmurs.

“Christ, he was right to threaten to kick me out,” Taehyung sobs into his hands.

Seokjin pulls back and pries his hands from his face.

“Tae-ah. Shh, listen to me,” Seokjin’s voice is gentle.

“I’m so glad you told me your story. Thank you. Do you feel better?”

Taehyung barely nods, wiping desperately at his eyes. “A bit.”

“Good. But Taehyung. Look at where you are now? You’ve been sober for about two months now. The fact that you managed a week in the beginning is amazing!”

“Hyung…” Taehyung feels disbelief enter him.

“It truly is Tae-ah. And your Jimin knows this. Yes, you put him in a position that he shouldn’t ever be in, but you realized it and you respected it enough to finally stop and get help. It’s not easy to get over something like addiction. But you’re trying and we all see it, even Jimin. He knows you’re trying and that you want to get better, otherwise he would’ve truly kicked you out.” Seokjin implores, holding onto Taehyung’s hands.

“It’s going to be tough, it will. How long depends on you. This fight you both had was an unfortunate result of issues you’re both going through. But you both just need to sit down and talk it through and you need to be more honest and open with him. I think it might be a good idea for either Yoongi or myself come with you. I think it would be good for Jimin to understand why your reaction like tonight happened. What do you think?”

Taehyung feels his heart quicken. This hyung is too good to him, he thinks.

“I think hyung is way too smart for his own good.”

Seokjin gives him a little shove. “Aigoo. No respect for me I see.” Seokjin offers a small smile.

They continue to stare at each other, and Taehyung feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. It feels too intimate, with the way Seokjin’s eyes shine differently, with the way he slowly licks his lower lip.

Luckily or not, Taehyung’s phone pings off, interrupting whatever that moment was. Seokjin clears his throat and stands up.

“Uhm. Well. It’s late so. I hope you don’t mind the couch. I’ll grab a pillow and blankets… yeah.” Seokjin awkwardly offers, moving quickly to the hallway.

Taehyung stands as well, grabbing his phone. It’s a message from Jimin, just hoping for a reply to know that he’s safe.
Taehyung sends an affirmation, saying he’s staying over at a friends and will be back later in the day.

Seokjin comes back with a pillow and blankets and offers a soft good night, still embarrassed about the awkward moment earlier (if his redden ears are anything to go by).

Taehyung welcomes a dreamless sleep that night.

…

The talk with Jimin was as emotional as Taehyung knew it was going to be. When Taehyung had walked into the apartment with Seokjin trailing behind him, he had been greeted by a worse looking Jimin. He looked like he hadn’t slept. But Taehyung didn’t care about that as he rushed to his best friend and grabbed him up into his arms. Both of them began crying in each other’s arms, the hurt and regret filling them both as they both exclaimed apologizes to the other in a mess of words. After they had calmed down, Taehyung introduced Seokjin to Jimin and they began their talk.

Taehyung was glad they had been able to clear things up and they were beginning to mend their bond. He was also glad Seokjin was there to explain things he knew he’d have a hard time with.

Despite all of that, Taehyung still feels like they’ve both been stepping on egg shells over the past few weeks. And added onto that, Seokjin has been acting weird whenever they see or text each other. He feels like a stressed baby.

Taehyung’s on his way out for his meeting when he brings it up to Jimin.

“Jiminie?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we okay?”

Jimin stops scrolling through his phone and looks at his Tae-Tae. He knows he’s been acting weird since they made up after their fight but he still has some lingering regrets from what he said that night.

But he smiles softly nonetheless. “Yes. Of course we are Tae-ah. I’m just. Being weird. I’ll get over it. Promise.”

“Are you sure?” Taehyung feels hesitant.

“Yes. When you get back, let’s do a marathon of the Great British Bake Off yeah? We haven’t started the new season yet,” Jimin offers, letting Taehyung know what they’re fine.

Taehyung smiles his boxy smile and nods.

…

It’s Yoongi that approaches Taehyung after the meeting ends this time. Taehyung is scouting out potential cookies to consume when the shorter man sidles up to him.

“So,” Yoongi says, voice low.

“Yes hyung?” Taehyung is still distracted by the cookies.

“Are you a thing with your Jimin friend?”

Taehyung freezes, blinks rapidly and turns to look at Yoongi, cookies all but forgotten.

“What?” He wheezes out.

Yoongi colors slightly, seemingly embarrassed.

“Are you and your friend Jimin, dating?”

Taehyung laughs loudly at that, gaining stares from other people hovering around the table.

“Hyung,” Taehyung splutters, laugh dying down slowly. “No. God no. We’re just. The bestest kind of friends you know? Diapers to diapers you know?”

“Tae-ah that’s gross.”

“And besides, he’s still dating Namjoon hyung, despite the fight they had.”

Yoongi nods. “So you’re not dating him.” Taehyung shakes his head no. “And there are no romantic feelings involved. Whatsoever.” Again, no.

“Why? Are you interested? I’m not sure they’re open to a third. Especially when they’re getting back on their feet you know?”

Yoongi turns bright red. “Christ! No Taehyung! What the-?” He shakes his in annoyance.

“Wait. Are you… interested in me? Hyung, I’m flattered-“

“Taehyung no! Oh my god!”
“But I’ll have to decline your interest. Besides there’s someone else I like so…” Taehyung mutters, looking back at the cookies.

He hears Yoongi sigh dramatically. “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this,” he mutters to himself before grabbing Taehyung’s shoulders, so they’re face to face.

“Taehyung. Listen to me,” Taehyung nods, eyes wide. “My hyung, my precious, idiotic cousin, has a crush on you and I want you,” Yoongi lifts a finger to point at Taehyung. “To talk to him and get everything out in the open. Because I refuse to see him moping around the apartment anymore. Understood?”

Taehyung’s mouth has dropped and he just nods.

Seokjin likes him?

…

Taehyung does not in fact clear things up with Seokjin that day, or the following days. Instead, he feels the need to think things through, to talk it out with Jimin.

It’s not until the next meeting that he hypes himself up to talk to Seokjin.

Yoongi not so subtly shows Taehyung where Seokjin had run off to after the meeting and finds him out on the small patio.

“Hey hyung!” Taehyung awkwardly, yet cheerfully greets.

Seokjin’s eyes go wide and nods but looks back out to the street.

Taehyung sits next to him and thinks of how to broach the topic.

“So… Yoongi told me-“

“That little gremlin I swear to god…” Seokjin interrupts, grumbling under his breath.

“How do you know what I’m going to say?”

Seokjin looks down and picks at his jeans. “He asked me if you had talked to me last week. I said no and asked why but he didn’t explain. It was a hunch really.” He mutters.

“Well. You like me.” Taehyung isn’t sure why he says it, but he does. Seokjin just nods, ears turning red. “Why?”

“Because. Because you’re you. Yes you’re good looking, even when you were at your lowest, but you’re also kind and smart. You always make me laugh with your silly jokes and memes when you text. And,” Seokjin swallows. “You saw me differently. You brought me to life in your art. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was flattered.”

“Seokjin hyung,” Taehyung’s voice takes a serious note and he sees Seokjin form fists on his lap. “I like you too. I have since I first saw you on the train. At first, I thought it was because you reawakened my love for art and inspired me, but that was just a small part. You’re kind. You’re sweet. You tell the worst puns-“

“Yah!”

“You give love and hope freely. And I fell in love with that.”

“Tae-ah…” Seokjin blushes under the praises.

“On a serious note hyung,” Taehyung reaches over to grab Seokjin’s hand. “I’m. I want to date you. I want to go on bicycle rides with you and go to the movies and do whatever it is that couples do. But,” Taehyung bites his lip. “I’m not sure I’m fully ready. Not just for me, but for you.”

“Tae-ah…”

“I want you to have the best of me. You’ve always had me at my worst, but I want you to see and have me at my best. Can you wait for that day?” Taehyung asks hopefully.

Seokjin takes the time to study Taehyung’s eyes.

Taehyung is gifted with a brilliant smile that lights up his eyes.

…

It’s a few months later and Taehyung feels ready. He checks his watch and realizes that he’s going to be late.

Jimin is calling him from the living room and he leaves his room to meet his best friend and best friend’s boyfriend Namjoon. All three of them are dressed nicely, though Taehyung is not sure how the chunky sweater Namjoon is wearing is considered “business casual”.

“Ready Tae-Tae?” Jimin asks brightly.

“Let’s get it!”

They make their way to a gallery a few stops from their apartment. Last month, an old professor of Taehyung’s, who had retired to manage a gallery, had gotten a hold of Taehyung. She was interested in how Taehyung had been doing and if he had done any more work since he had graduated. He had shyly showed her the pieces he had been working on for the past 8 months and now. Well now he was going to the opening night of his first gallery showing in years.

He had invited his work friends and Seokjin and Yoongi of course.

Taehyung is ready.

…

Seokjin’s nervous. Of course he is. While he and Taehyung are still close, they’re not where he’d like to be, but he’s patient. He knows he’ll wait forever and a day if it means he’ll get to be with the man he had fallen in love slowly and then all at once.

So he’s nervous. Going to the gallery opening night. He’s not sure what art Taehyung is going to be showcasing, but he’s excited… and nervous.

He’s surprised. He shouldn’t be, he thinks, seeing all the sketches and paintings of himself everywhere, but he is.

Seokjin thought maybe some abstract or nature paintings, but definitely not this. He can feel the whispers and stares as he approaches works after works. Black and whites, colored, watercolors, acrylics, pointillism. Some are just of his eyes, others of his mouth. There’s one of just his ear, colored, and hued red on the shell of it. There’s even one of just his lower body, the day he wore his holey jeans. Yoongi points out a rather large sketch and he blushes. It’s of his hand. He’s always been self-conscious of his hands, the slightly crooked fingers. But. This looked amazing.

He walks around more and that’s when he spots Taehyung with his friends and patrons in front of a large work. Seokjin walks closer and sees it’s just a collage, but it still makes him catch his breath.

“Seokjin hyung…” Taehyung says, his voice is light but nervous.

“Tae-ah… Are these?” Seokjin can’t take his eyes away from the work. They’re all just sketches, eyes, mouth, hands, etc but it’s the background of the paper that Seokjin feels awe. The background of each paper consists of the agenda of each meeting he’s attended until this was put up.

“My first sketches of you hyung. Of my muse,” Taehyung softly says. Their friends have moved away so it’s just the two of them.

“Tae-ah…” Seokjin’s voice is full emotion and he can feel his eyes well up.

“Hyung. You’ve waited so long. Thank you.” Taehyung says, reach up to wipe away stray tears and caress Seokjin’s cheek.

“I’m ready, if you are hyung.”

Seokjin turns and looks at Taehyung, his eyes bright and happy. Hopeful.

“Hyung is ready Tae-ah.”