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He’s at the hospital. Its two days after Hannibal, well after he tried to kill everyone. Will wants to see her, to see if she’s alright but he already knows it’s not likely. The doctors said she was in a coma. Fuck, he thought. He cried for Abigail but in truth he had grieved for her long ago. Jack was alright, sore but he would live and as for himself, he was alive and as well as could be expected when you were just gutted two days ago. He thinks of Beverly Katz, thinks that he should have tried harder to prove it was Hannibal, it wouldn’t have prevented her death but at least it could have prevented his latest crime.
He gets out of his hospital bed and sits himself in the wheelchair the nurse left, ‘If you go see her, use this, I mean it Will. You’re not well enough to walk there on your own and you won’t let us help, so take the chair.’ He remembered.
He pushes himself from the chair when he is outside her room in the ICU, leaves it by the door and goes inside. There is one chair by the bed, he sits and looks at her. She looks like she’s sleeping, he thought. The only noises he hears are from the machines, those machines that are doing everything they can to keep her alive, the sound is comforting to him because it leaves him hopeful that she will survive this.
Will takes her hand in both of his own. He smiles as he remembers how she made him leave her outside in the rain to go and help Jack, even when she knows she’s most likely dying, she still wants to fix things, to help people even if it costs her her own life. He thinks that if she doesn’t make it through this, that he will remember her that way, remember the woman who was strong enough to help other people even when she herself was weak. He would remember the woman who would have never forgiven herself for being so blind, the woman who took care of his dogs for him but mostly he would remember her as the woman who was his friend.
He starts to cry but he doesn’t care, he buries his head in her hand. He remembers when he kissed her in his living-room and once again reprimands himself, even though he liked her he did know he was just using her in that moment. He thinks of everything Alana has ever done for him and everything she has ever been to him and for him, he thinks so much he tires himself to sleep.
When he wakes, he’s in his own bed. The nurse is checking his chart. She tells him that an orderly brought him back last night. He smiles and she leaves. He waits until the visiting hours of the ICU begin before going back to her.
When he gets to her room Jack is there, they exchange basic small talk. Jack leaves to go wait with Bella for her appointment. Will sits and takes her hand like he did the day before. He decides to talk to her.
“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I figure it’s worth a shot. I’m sorry...I’m sorry that this happened to you. If you were awake you’d tell me that I shouldn’t be sorry... because it’s not my fault, you’d say Hannibal is responsible for his own actions even if his actions against you were carried out by Abigail. Then you would blame yourself for being so blind and then I’d use your own words against you and tell you that Hannibal is responsible for his own actions. But you’re not awake so all I can do is imagine the conversation we would have. It’s not enough... it’s not enough for me and I know I shouldn’t make this about me but... but I am because I need my friend. So please... wake up. Please.” he stopped talking then as his emotions took control of him he moved onto his knees on the floor and his head rested on her stomach and he cried.
“That guy, Price I think his name is, he took in our dogs. He came to see me the other day and told me not to worry about them and I asked about Applesauce, he said all the dogs were safe. It makes it easier knowing they are being cared for. But it makes me sad too because I remember when you looked after my dogs and I remember everything else too.”
A nurse comes in and finds Will kneeling on the floor. He asks if he is alright, Will tells him that he is as okay as could be expected. He sits in the chair then. The nurse looks at the charts and adjusts something on one of the machines before he leaves.
“When you wake up, I’m gonna be here. I promise. I’m gonna help you through rehab and anything else after that. I won’t give up on you because you never really gave up on me. You always see the best in people, I admire that in you. You never give up on people even people who are beyond saving... Like me.”
He sits on the chair, holding her hand and remembering. He remembers her smile, the one he never saw enough. He remembers her laugh, the one he never heard enough. He remembers her eyes and how they would light up when she was smiling or laughing and he thought of how he hadn’t seen enough of that either. He is pulled from his thoughts when one of the machines makes a loud noise, a noise that won’t stop. He looks over and sees a red flashing. He doesn’t know what to do. He watches as nurses and doctors run in and look at the machine and work to fix it. He can’t hear anything he just looks at her, she looks peaceful, he thinks. He looks at her for what seems like forever before one of the doctors come to him.
“I’m sorry” the doctor tells him. He is still looking at her, he isn’t ready for this.
“There was nothing we could do. She’s gone.”
The doctor pats his arm and leaves. Will goes to her again, somehow he ended up over by the door. He takes her hand in his and smiles. He knows she’s gone, he has known it since the first day he saw her, he just didn’t want to believe it. He leans down and kisses her forehead. He places her hand on her stomach and puts the other one on top of it. He goes to the door but he stops, he looks back at her.
“Goodbye, Alana.” he leaves the room and doesn’t fight the tears that start falling from his eyes. He will always remember her.