Chapter Text
After a long and exhausting week you walk into your apartment in the town of York and throw your keys in the bowl on the cabinet. You hang your coat up and lay your bag on the chair. On the way to your well-deserved long hot bath you kick your heels off and pull the rubber band out of your hair which thus falls over your shoulders. You push the bathroom door closed with your foot and turn on the tap, you turn to find just the right temperature and when you are satisfied you pour some lavender oil into it. While your bath fills you undress further and put your clothes on the washing machine. Slowly you let yourself down into the warm water and close your eyes, letting the water and the smell of lavender completely relax you.
After the water has become cold you decide to go out and dry yourself off to pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. You sit on the couch and flick through the TV channels but there's nothing that draws your attention. Then your eye falls on a scrapbook that lies on the little table next to the couch. You smile and grab it, your fingers glide over the cover that bears his name and you open it. Immediately the smiling face of Tom Hiddleston looks at you and you bite your lip. It has been so long since you last saw him, heard his voice and dispite the fact that you know he will always make time for you, you still hesitate to call him, knowing he is in the middle of the production for the play he currently has the leading role in; Coriolanus. He had invited you to be there during opening night to be with him, saying that on one of the most important nights of his life he wanted you close and wanted to share it with you and you'd loved to be there but right at that week your boss sent you abroad in order to attract an important client and despite your pleas to send someone else she did not change her mind. You will never forget the disappointment in his voice when you told him you would not be there, although he tried to hide it of course, but you heard it anyway. You wished him luck, saying that the public would love him and he would steal the evening. He laughed at you, and that made it a bit better for yourself. That's about two months ago. You skim through the book which contains the reviews of the play from the morning after opening night.
Thanks to an ideally dovetailed ensemble led by a scorching Tom Hiddleston, tension builds, fills the theater and never flags throughout an all-consuming evening.- Variety
Tom Hiddleston strips muscular torso stage Coriolanus. Army officer Coriolanus is so covered in blood after battle that he has to wash. And so Mr Hiddleston strips to his muscular torso and a steady torrent descends from the Donmar’s ceiling as he washes his hair and massages his abdomen in front of cooing Donmar luvvies - DailyMail
In Hiddleston’s performance he’s a lean, mean killing machine, and there is an extraordinary moment in which he takes a shower after the battle and gasps with pain as his wounds turn the water blood red. Hiddleston marvellously captures a sudden piercing tenderness and love, as if experiencing these overwhelming emotions for the first time. At every stage of his tragic journey, Hiddleston is compelling and persuasive. there is no mistaking its dramatic energy, while the mixture of charisma and emotional truth in Hiddleston’s performance is very special indeed. - The Telegraph
Tom Hiddleston, lately a baddie and an action man in the movies, and voted the world's sexiest film star, certainly puts himself through it as Coriolanus: he clambers up a high, steep ladder, strips to the waist, douses himself in blood, showers off, gets pelted with rotten tomatoes by the populace, fights like a dervish and dies upside down, hanging by his feet like Mussolini. It's a simple, spartan story, decked out with some of Shakespeare's most vivid, brilliant and sinewy verse, and Hiddleston rides it like an Olympic horseman. - whatsonstage
Tom Hiddleston’s Coriolanus is charismatic and able to combine warmth with a brutal edge. And yes, there is a “shower” scene to make everyone happy who enjoyed the poster. - theotherbridgeproject
Women and men alike swooned over Tom Hiddleston, and fair enough, he was named sexiest man in the world by MTV, after all, but Coriolanus gives him the opportunity to really show his acting chops. Face covered in rather realistic blood in the opening battle scene, Hiddleston’s eyes are fire. At intermission, the general consensus of the hubbub is that Hiddleston has transcended his pretty boy appeal and is actually a fine actor indeed. acrossthepondtv.wordpress
Then you get to the photographs, the photographs during the show, Tom covered in blood with piercing blue eyes, Tom bare-chested to wash the blood from him, Tom during one of his fights, his blue eyes shooting fire and eventually hanging upside down at his feet, dead. At the thought of his death there goes a cold chill through your body. You sink in the couch and think back to your first meeting. It was sometime in 2012, you were dragged to the York Art Gallery by a friend seeing there was a collection there she wanted to see. Despite your protests that you're probably the least suitable candidate to join her she insisted and sighing you agreed. Your friend was so excited and hopping from one room to the other that you lost her pretty quickly.
After you've been looking for her for half an hour you gave up and you decided to drink in the restaurant a coffee. You took the last free table by the window and looked out while you suddenly heard a beautiful voice.
'' Excuse me, may I sit here?''
You turn your face to the sound and look into two beautiful blue eyes who look at you from over the rim of a sunglasses and you wonder whether love at first sight really does exist. You nod and he smiles and you feel yourself to be even more in love with him. He slides in his chair and you see he also wears a light grey hat and he looks at you, inquisitive, and goes to your surprise a conversation with you while he places his sunglasses on the table.
Normally you are always somewhat insecure and not at all at ease with strangers, but there was just something about him, the friendly look in his eyes, the soothing sound of his voice. Maybe it has to do with the idea that you know him from somewhere. But you shake the feeling of you and concentrate on the handsome stranger before you and soon you found yourself in a deep conversation with him. You mentioned that you had been persuaded by a friend to come along, you normally do not have much interest in art, and he had to laugh and then said that he had always fascinated been by art, paintings, statues. He said he came from London and that he stays at the Lakeside Hotel down the street. He came here to escape the busy life there so he could walk around quietly. You frowned your eyebrows when he said that.
''In London you can not quietly walk around?''
''No, not if you ....'' he suddenly stops and looks at his coffee.
''Oh, my God.'' you say and you place your hand over your mouth.
Tom looks at you quizzically, but when he sees he's your face he instantly is aware of what you realized and the corners of his mouth go downwards and his hands shoot to yours.
''Please, do no say my namet.'' he says, almost pleading.
''You're ....''
''I beg of you, I just came here to escape the fans not that I'm not grateful because I know very well that I am where I am today thanks to their support, but I was so tired, being followed by hordes of women and girls who are constantly asking for an autograph and a picture, I just wanted a bit of peace. After the premiere of The Avengers, it's a madhouse around my little person.''
The Avengers, that's where you know him of, and of course Thor and Thor the dark world. Loki, the Loki which you so often have dreamed of, that hangs on the wall of your bedroom. You admire more actors but Tom is the only one that made it to your bedroomwall, as himself but also as his character Loki. You can't even count the times you have pleasured yourself while looking at his beautiful face on two hands.
''I have to go,'' he says, and suddenly stands up, reaching for his wallet,'' but I found it very nice to talk to you.''
And with that he was gone. You look after him until he disappeared from view, hardly believing what just happened. When you look at the table again, you see that he has forgotten his sunglasses and you pick it up. Well, now you have at least one reason to seek him out. The following evening you walk into his hotel, looking around you at all the beautiful and stunning things you see untill someone keeps you standing.
"Can I help you, miss?" he asks.
The way he speaks and looks at you, you dont like and when your eyes fall on your mirror image you understand why, you are wearing a pale jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Everyone can see that you do not belong here. You also know that if you mention that you come to see Tom Hiddleston he will laugh at you, instantly bring to the exit and tell the doorman to not let you in again. Yet you open your mouth to say something when you hear someone calling your name and you recognize the voice immediately.
"What are you doing here?" he says, surprised, "I will take it from here, thank you."
You look at the man of the hotel who looks at Tom like he does not believe his ears. Before he can say anything, he grabs your hand and takes you to the hotel bar. You look at your joined hands and marvel at the fact of how good it feels, how right, your hand in his. He takes you to a table and lets go of your hand, you instantly miss the contact but when he slides a chair back for your, you smile.
"Wow, the last time a man slid a chair back for me I can not even remember." you say.
After you sit down you lay his sunglasses on the table.
"My sunglasses! I was wondering where I left that, how sweet that you took the time to come return it" he says, delighted.
You smile and look around, there are not many people, but the ones who are there are all dressed as though they are at a feast and suddenly you feel awkwardly in your pale jeans and shirt. You shrink a little further in your chair and are startled when Tom lays his hand on yours.
"Would you rather go somewhere else?" he asks.
You look at him, surprised that he wants to spend time with you, he notices.
"I really did enjoy our talk yesterday, I would love to continue it, get to know more about you." he says.
"Why? I am sure there are a lot more interesting people around you could spend your time with."
"Maybe, but I choose to spend my time with you," he says smiling,"please let me."
Well, who are you to ignore Tom Hiddleston's request to be in your company for one night. Before you know it, he pulls you out of your chair and five minutes later you're sitting in a café. The rest of the evening is spent talking about everything, your childhood, where you grew up, family, interests. Before you know it, it is past midnight and you have to say goodbye to him. Although it is not far to your house he insists to get you a cab so he knows you arrive home safely and you are touched by his concern. Just before you get in the cab, he stops you and he takes a note on which he writes something quickly, when he gives it to you is a phone number. Then he places a kiss on your cheek, and he lifts your head so that you have eyes on him.
"Call me." he says.
And that was the beginning of a long friendship. A friendship consisting of mainly phone calls and email, and somewhere, God knows where, you have fallen for him.
In the 2 years that followed you've only seen him a few times but nonetheless he has become a good and dear friend, and you know that he sees you as the same. Still, you wished he would feel just a little bit more for your than just a deep friendship. You sigh and get up, you have the scrapbook in one hand and with the other you reach for the light switch to turn the lamp off, but at that time the doorbell rings. You turn around and look at the door, it's late and you would prefer to go to bed and give you're still fatigued muscles some rest. Yet you are curious and you walk to the door.
When you open it, you see a man standing who you had never expected to see, on your doorstep, late at night and in a reflex throw the door shut.
''It's good to see you again too. I hope you did that because you were not expecting me, not because you do not want to see me.'' he says.
You frown your eyebrows and wonder why he thinks you do not want to see him, you would prefer to always be with him.
"Because I wanted to see you. That's why I'm here.''
He pauses and you know that he is waiting for an answer, you need to say something, but what?
'' Y/N?''
You are pressed against the door and look through the spy hole. You put your hands on the door and stand on your toes so you can look down, he wears a cobalt blue shirt, top two buttons loose, you bite your lip when you realize that you once told him that color is amazing on him, that it brings his eyes out even more.
''Please, I know it's late but I have to tell you something, something I prefer to do face to face.''
''I look like a mess.'' you throw out and you close your eyes to your own stupidity.
You hear him laugh and look through the spy hole again, your lips form a smile at seeing his smiling face. You take a step aside and slowly open the door peeking around it towards him. When your eyes find his you bite your lip.
''Hi.'' he says.
''Hi.'' you answer.
''Can I come in?'' He asks.
You step aside and let him in, when you close the door, you feel his eyes on you.
''You look beautiful.'' He says.
''I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt and my hair is uncombed; I look like a mess, Tom.''
''Even in a sackcloth you would still be gorgeous.'' is his answer.
You blush and look away, he has you never called beautiful or gorgeous, and you wonder what's going on.
''What is that?'' he asks suddenly.
Then you notice that you still have the scrapbook in your hand and you try to hide it behind your back.
''Oh nothing.'' You say quickly.
You walk past him, but he is faster and grabs your wrist, taking the scrapbook from you, when he sees his name, he looks at you quizzically. You fidget some with your hands and keep your eyes focused on the book, avoiding his eyes. He opens the scrapbook and browses through it, you dare a look at him and see that his lips read the words.
''This book is about me, about the play, photos, reviews.''
''I just wanted to follow how you would do and what the newspapers would write.'' you answer softly.
''You could have called.'' he says and the hurt tone breaks your heart.
''I know, but I did not want to disturb you, you're so busy preparing every night .....''
''For you I would have made time, you should know this.''
''Yes, I know.'' You say, and you bite your lip again.
''You should not do that.'' He says.
He extends his hand to your face and draws your lip from between your teeth.
''I wish you could have been there on opening night.''
''Me too, but my job...''
''Yes, I know, but still, it was different without you there to share it with afterwards. I called you, send your text messages.''
''I know, I got them.''
''Then why did not you call me back?''
''I told you, I knew you would be busy.....'' you try.
''Do not lie to me, y/n ..... why?''
His hand is still against your cheek and you have to make efforts to focus on his voice and his words. Then you remember something.
''Wait,'' you say,'' should you not be in London? The play is still running is it not?''
''Yeah, about a month.''
''What are you doing here then? Not that I'm not happy to see you, of course.'' You say quickly.
''Of course, that is why you threw the door in my face.''
''You surprised me.''
''And I'm sorry, I should have called first, but I had no time for that.''
''No time?''
''No, we have water damage inside the Donmar, takes three days to be repaired and another to clean up, an hour later I found myself on a trainstation buying a ticket to York, to you.''
''Really?'' you ask and you feel honored that at the first opportunity he had, he choose to come to you.
''Yes, I missed you, I had to see you.''
''You wanted to tell me something.''
He nodded and lets his hand move down, it slowly glides over your bare arm and he laces his fingers with yours. An action that sends a shiver through your body, and he smiles at your response.
''It's nice to know that I have some effect on you.'' He says.
''You always had an effect on me.''
''What kind of effect would that be?'' he says smiling.
''Don't change the subject, Tom, just tell me what you want to say.''
''I never felt so bad to be alone, actually I chose for that. In my work, you are always away from home, weeks sometimes months. One minute you're in a Los Angeles studio filming and the next you stand on a mountain in Iceland. Then promote the movie, one day your in Germany the following in China, living in hotel rooms. I always had people around me, my co actors, people from the set, I was never really alone so I missed nothing. But the last two months I've been at the Donmar I was home every night and eventually I realized that I was missing something.''
''What was that?'' you ask.
You get a bad feeling in your stomach and you place your arms around you.
''Someone to come home to, someone waiting for me with a smile, a kiss, an embrace. Someone to tell about how my day was and to hear everything about their day. Someone who would fall asleep in my arms and to wake up to the next morning.''
''Is this going somewhere?'' you ask a little impatient.
''My mother always said I would notice if I would meet that one person, I would feel it, fireworks, sparks, a heart rate that goes faster, chemistry, that sort of things. That had not yet happened to me, or so I thought. Those lonely nights of the last few weeks, I have had time to think and I came to the conclusion that I already met her long ago. I just did not realize it because I was not looking for someone.''
You must make an effort to keep your emotions under control, you know what he wants to say, he met the love of his life, the woman he wants to grow old with, the mother of his children, and he is going to tell you that you are not that women; you're going to lose him, you already feel him slipping through your fingers.
''So, do I know her? Probably not because she will most likely live in Londen too right? Is she in the play with you? Maybe she is in one of the pictures in my scrapbook.''
You know you are rambling but you have to do something and you reach for the scrapbook in his hands but he grabs your wrist and stops you.
''It's you.'' he suddenly says.
''What?'' you say and blink up at him.
''It's you, love.''
''I...what...?'' you still look at him, not knowing what to say.
Suddenly, he comes forward and embraces you, it catches you off guard and for a second you do not know what to do with your hands but when you feel his lips on yours you let them go through his hair. The kiss is immediately intense and passionate, just like Tom himself and you lose yourself in him, his smell, his body against yours, his hands sliding across your back. They go further down and rest on your buttocks, he squeezes it and you moan in his mouth. He effortlessly lifts you up and your legs go around his narrow waist, you push your ankles in his lower back; you need to feel him much closer to you. Your head falls back against the wall and his lips go down.
''It has always been you I wanted, y/n,'' he whispers, his tongue licking your neck,'' I wanted you to be there when I would come home, I wanted to see your smile, I wanted too feel your arms around me after a day of work, you body in my arms when I fall asleep and you body next to me when I wake up, no one but you.''
"You mean that?" you ask, nauwelijks bevattend wat er gebeurt.
"Yes, more then anything."
"Then take me, make me yours and I will obey you in everything hereafter." you whisper in his ear.
You feel him freeze in your arms and slowly he looks at you.
"You have seen the play." he says, sounding a little shocked.
"Of course I have seen it, Tom."
"But how, when.....I don't understand...." he says, shaking his head.
"I asked your mum to tape it at opening night. She send me the tape the next day. After I came home I watched it immediately and in the next few days at least once a day." you say with a shrug.
"What did you think of it?"
"The play or you?" you ask,"because no offence to the great Shakespeare but in all honestly, you were the only one I had eyes for."
Tom laughs and kisses your lips.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, there was just one scene with you I didn't really like."
"The hanging part?"
"You would think wouldn't you? But no, seeing you all bruised and blooded kinda turned me on."
"Really?"
"Oh yes, it makes you so so sexy."
"What then?"
"The part between you and Virgilia, where she sits in your lap and, you know." you say.
"Did it make you jealous?"
"Yeah, you did kiss her every night for the last two months, that thought makes me very jealous, actually." you admit and feel yourself blushing.
"I'm flattered."
"Good."
"Does it make you feel better when I say that every time she kissed me I thought of you." He says kissing your neck again.
"Yeah, it does, but on the other hand, she also learned me something."
"And what is that?"
"That you have a weak spot,"you say and lean towards his neck,"right here."
You kiss him just below his ear and you feel him shudder under you and you smile against his skin.
"Oh, that feels so good." he moans.
"Better then when she does it."
"You have no idea, darling."