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Katsuki has always had “the dreams”. The strange, hyper realistic, very familiar dreams. The fact Deku has always been in them is frustrating, but he enjoys them nonetheless. He was a king for fucks sake.
He didn’t rule alone though, he ruled next to a fucking dragon who also had a human form. A human form he was in love with.
No matter what he thought of his dreams, the physical and emotional things he felt in them were always very real, including how he felt towards the red dragon.
The shock he felt his first day at UA when he walked in to see every person he knew in the dreams was unparalleled. He’d be lying if he didn’t immediately search for bright red hair after seeing the pink lady his dragon was such good friends with.
He’s always been a smart person, and it doesn’t take him long to figure out what his dreams mean, especially when these people hold the same traits as their previous selves. He’s still connected to his past life, to the king.
The most troubling and anxiety inducing part is the pretty redhead he hasn’t spoken to once.
It’s at the USJ that he realizes the guy named Kirishima in this life, remembers him too.
-
The way they fight together, the way Eijirou doesn’t shy away from him like everyone else, it’s exactly how they were before. Except, it’s not.
Bakugou isn’t the same as he was in his past life. He’s weaker, he’s more abrasive, and he knows people actually wanted to be around him before. They don’t in this life, at least not the same way.
When he was king there were obviously those who tried to get close to him for his power, but there were also those who actually.. liked him. He seems to only have the first kind of acquaintances here.
But not Eijirou, he already has the affectionate gleam in his eye he always did, and at the sports festival, he practically acts out the way they originally teamed up verbatim.
He doesn’t explicitly say anything about the way they were, and Katsuki doesn’t either. It’s obviously not normal for them to remember everything, and he doesn’t want to risk fucking up his current reality in some way.
So he stays quiet, and he tries to treat his ex husband the way he did before.
But it’s fucking hard. Eijirou’s exactly the same incredible person he always was, but Katsuki can’t seem to find it in himself to stick to his past behavior.
He isn’t as kind for sure. Not that he was overly kind before, but it feels impossible to be like that now. And he’s so much less levelheaded. He’s still as smart and analytical, but it’s always in the heat of the moment, he can’t think as much beforehand as he used to.
The worst part is how much less he can woo Eijirou. It feels like he did everything so right in his memories. He was so valiant and thoughtful, hell, he fucking started their partnership by saving Ei from a beast trader, he hasn’t done anything like that in this life.
-
He feels greatly satisfied when he finally gets to do something he knows meant a lot to Eijirou before, and that’s reminding him how stupidly strong he is.
It comes naturally, exactly how it did the first time, but he knows from Ei having told him later on that it helped him a lot in many ways.
He rides the high of successfully recreating something so important, until he remembers how much he’s fallen behind. He’s just not as impressive as he was, and it fucking hurts to know he’s not the same person Eijirou loved.
-
He’s over the fucking moon in second year when he’s asked out almost exactly like the first time, with the same flustered redhead nervously holding a single flower, and he’s obviously quick to say yes.
They’d definitely kissed before, but he’d never actually remembered any of their past more, “intimate” moments, so when Eijirou sheepishly asks to kiss him goodnight after their first movie date, it feels like a new kind of dream.
But it still hurts when he goes back to his room and realizes how much less charming he was that night than he was on their first first date, and the fact that every bit of Eijirou’s love that he has was earned by someone he isn’t.
-
Their first night together, an annoying amount of months later, is incredible. He’s never even imagined being close like that with anyone else, and for good reason. It’s like they were fucking made for each other.
Eijirou seems just as, if not more, elated that their first time went so well, and he spends the rest of the night kissing Katsuki softly and whispering stupid, cheesy declarations of love to him. Bakugou enjoys it more than he shows.
Which only leads to more internal pain once his lover’s asleep with his arm around him. He would’ve been more receptive before, he would’ve been able to throw Eijirou’s sweet sentiments right back at him but stronger, he wouldn’t have been so emotionally useless.
-
He does his best. He buys him gifts, he forces himself to say embarrassing things that would’ve once come easily to him, and he makes damn sure to be as publicly affectionate as he used to be.
But it’s hard when Eijirou can read him so fucking easily. He always just gives him that stupid soft smile and says,
“You don’t have to do things you aren’t comfortable with, Kat. I know you love me.”
He knows he knows, they used to be fucking married. He just wants to be able to prove it to Eijirou like his past self did so well.
-
They move in together after graduation. It’s perfect and Katsuki wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, but the intrusive thoughts still plague him when he’s alone.
It’s worst when Eijirou’s snoring next to him. He gets to watch this beautiful man sleeping soundly and knows he’s done nothing to deserve it.
He’s not like, a piece of shit, but he’s not on Eijirou’s level in a lot of ways. Yeah, Katsuki’s a catch, but Ei’s like a fucking god. He’s just, perfect. Well, he’s obviously not perfect, but even his fucking flaws are lovable.
It’s bittersweet when Eijirou talks lovingly to him, because he knows half the shit doesn’t even apply to his current self. It feels like he’s lying, like he’s a fake, lesser version of who Kirishima loved.
Maybe it means he’s selfish, and maybe it makes him an even bigger asshole, but he doesn’t let him go. Even if Eijirou’s seeing someone else when he looks at him, even if he’s waiting for Katsuki to become something he isn’t, Bakugou stays.
He stays because he loves him, and he stays because he still has hope maybe someday he can be the king Eijirou deserves.
-
He’s almost relieved when Eijirou proposes, even though he was the one who did before. Yeah, it feels like he’s failed again, but it also reassures him that at least a piece of Ei loves his current self.
He’ll deny he cried during the ceremony, but he also will never admit it wasn’t from pure happiness. It was obvious Eijirou was trying hard to make his original vows match the lesser Katsuki, and it stung.
He didn’t have trouble with his own, even though it felt kind of lazy to just reuse the same thing he said in his past life. He still made Ei sob with a smile on his face, so it ultimately seemed like he’d made a good choice.
Their wedding night is exactly how it should be, and Katsuki makes sure not to let his insecurities interfere. This is his husband. Even if he would prefer the previous Bakugou, he fucking married this one anyway and he seems very happy about it.
Especially when they’re trying to sleep and Eijirou can’t stop giggling and whispering “Dude, we’re husbands now.” with an awed look on his face.
-
Their marriage is great. So fucking great that Katsuki enjoys rubbing it in their friends’ faces very much. Eijirou will jokingly scold him for it sometimes, but it’s pretty fucking clear they’re on the same page when it comes to being proud of their relationship.
Bakugou doesn’t think about being inadequate compared to his stronger self as much as he used to. He doesn’t really think about it at all unless Eijirou’s doing something giant display of affection. Those are the times he feels especially undeserving.
And occasionally he’ll catch his husband staring out the window with a longing expression. If Katsuki asks what’s on his mind, he always gets a sweet smile and “you.”
It really should be romantic, it really should make him happy, but he feels like that’s when Eijirou’s especially missing his past lover.
-
They’ve been married for a bit over a year when Bakugou breaks.
Katsuki never even thought about the end. He never even considered it. He never expected to feel his own body get mauled or see Eijirou take out an entire army in rage before shifting back and wailing over him as he held his dying husband.
He never expected the dreams to stop.
He doesn’t think Eijirou’s dream schedule lined up with his, because the next morning he’s fine. He’s not laying in bed in a cold sweat trying not to have a full meltdown.
But he is visibly concerned when he rolls over to cuddle up to Bakugou and feels him sobbing in silence.
He gets Kaminari to cover his patrol and Katsuki’s too overwhelmed to even tell him not to. He would be arguing that he’s fine and that Eijirou should go to work, but he just felt himself fucking die.
It’s a lot to take in, especially when they hadn’t even been planning to fight anyone. He’d died in a fucking surprise attack and Eijirou had to watch. He throws up when he looks down at himself and remembers what it felt like to see his own guts.
Ei helps him out of bed and into the shower. He stays with him and even fucking washes him when Katsuki can’t convince his body to move. It’s easy to say he’s never felt like this, but it’s hard to say how he even feels. It’s not normal to grieve yourself.
A lot of the pain he’s feeling is from having left Eijirou. He was still fucking young, they had so many plans, the dumbass dragon had even been bringing up the idea of children. And he left him widowed and alone because he couldn’t win some fight.
Maybe his past self never was strong, maybe he’s always been fucking weak.
-
He lets Eijirou take care of him, and he shakes his head when he’s asked if he wants to talk. He’s almost afraid of going to sleep that night.
But he’s fucking exhausted, and he knows Ei said something about the tea he made for him supposed to be relaxing, so he forces his eyes shut. For the first time since he was a kid, he doesn’t dream.
He still feels like shit when he wakes up, but having strong arms around him and a warm body next to him has always been comforting. Well, only if those things belong to a specific person. Who’s probably only in love with him because he lost a different version of him too soon.
He stares at Eijirou’s sleeping face for what feels like hours. He’s going to tell him when he wakes up. He’s probably going to ruin his own fucking life, but he can’t keep being a replacement for a ghost.
“Kat? How long have you been up? Are you feeling any better?”
“I’m not him.”
“Wh-“
“Your king, I’m not him.”
“Babe, what? Of course you’re my king.”
He smiles that loving smile and brushes Katsuki’s hair from his face and makes this shit hurt even more.
“I’m fucking not, Eijirou. We’re different people. I don’t give a shit if we look the same or I’m almost him, but I’m not and I can’t fucking live up to him. He’s dead and if you’re looking for him in me, you’ll never fucking find it.”
He was expecting hurt, he was expecting lies, he wasn’t expecting panic or confusion.
“What are you talking about? You’re scaring me, babe.”
“Our fucking past life, Eijirou! The king, from before, from the fucking dreams.”
Bright red, and very concerned eyes search Bakugou’s face for something they don’t find.
“Katsuki, what dreams?”
“Wh- The dreams.. Our, our memories, Ei.”
Kirishima looks scared and it’s scaring Katsuki in turn.
“I don’t know what memories you’re talking about, baby. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No! I’m not fucking okay! I just had to relive my own fucking death and now my fucking husband is telling me-“
“Death?!”
Eijirou probably isn’t even aware of how tightly he’s holding him.
“Not in this fucking life, Ei. In the past.”
Kirishima’s face screws up in worried confusion.
“You mean, you actually remember your past life?”
What?
“You don’t?”
He realizes it sounds kind of bitchy after he’s said it, but he’s genuinely confused. Is Eijirou lying, or does he really not-
“Dude, what?! Of course I don’t! That’s not like, a normal thing everybody remembers, Kat!”
“Shut up, that’s not what I meant. I just thought- you always acted like- Do you really not remember?”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Katsuki. Why would you think I knew that stuff?”
He feels almost like he’s been betrayed by himself in a way, but more than that he’s fucking confused.
“Y- Because you always acted just like him!”
Eijirou’s eyes get wider than Katsuki’s ever seen them.
“Dude, you mean like, I was in your past life?!”
“Wh- Yes, dumbass!”
“That’s so fucking cool!”
This is definitely not how he thought his whole “I’m not him” conversation was going to go.
“Wait, what makes you sure it was your past life, and not just cool dreams though?”
“I’ve gotten them since I was a kid. I fucking- I knew you before I met you. I thought you knew it too! Now I just look like a fucking psycho.”
He tries to push away and get up but those giant tan arms yank him right back.
“Not psycho! Maybe like, psychic, but not psycho. I mean, it’s kind of hard to believe, but it’s you! I trust you. But I really really do wanna know about all the past stuff.”
Katsuki sighs and scoots up against the headboard. It’s nice to hear that Eijirou trusts him, but even he’s kind of second guessing himself right now. Still, his husband is looking at him with the excitement of a little kid and he’s not about to deny him.
“Well, what do you wanna know?”
-
It feels like an hour before he’s gotten through the very basics, it’s fucking hard to put all the shit he’s seen into words. He purposely leaves out the entirety of the end.
“Hm, I don’t believe you.”
“Fuck you!”
Eijirou nearly rolls off the bed, laughing and trying to dodge Katsuki’s hands.
“No, Dude! It all sounds like, super believable, but me, a DRAGON?! That’s too fucking cool to be real I think you just made that part up.”
“I didn’t make any of this shit up! I thought you fucking remembered too.”
Eijirou sighs happily at the end of his laughing fit before he tenses up.
“Wait, you said you aren’t my king, I don’t- Does that mean, do you not wanna be with me?”
“What the fuck?! Where’d you get that? I said I can’t fucking live up to him, Eijirou. I thought, I thought you only married me because of before.”
He can’t look up when he says it and it feels a million times more pathetic out loud, especially since Kirishima didn’t even know.
“Really?! But I didn’t even- You know that’s not true though, right? I obviously love you, I never even met the king version.”
Katsuki lets a tiny smile slip until he hears a sniffle and looks up to see Eijirou’s “about to cry” face.
“Wh-“
“Is that why you married me?”
He almost wants to roll his eyes at such a stupid question, but he was basically in the same boat just a second ago. So he forgoes the eye roll in favor of leaning forward to give his husband a quick peck on his wobbling lip.
“Idiot. Of course not. And you’re the same fucking person as before anyway, if I love him I love you.”
“But I’m not a dragon.”
“Better than a dragon.”
He looks up at Katsuki with jokingly disgusted look on his face.
“Nothing is better than a dragon.”
He smiles and grabs his hand before looking insecure again.
“But you’re sure that’s not it? Like, if you didn’t have the dreams, would you still have.. liked me at all?”
He almost regrets telling him about any of it when he has that sad expression, and it’s frustrating to be on the other side of how he was feeling for so long.
“Cut it out. I fucking love you, and I liked you when I met you both times, so quit looking like a sad puppy and come kiss me.”
Eijirou rolls his eyes with a smile and crawls over to him to fulfill that request while gently guiding them to Katsuki laying on Ei’s chest.
His hold on Bakugou gets almost suffocatingly tight and Katsuki pulls back to complain when he sees the new budding tears in his eyes.
“You said you died.”
He can almost smell the fucking blood when Ei says that.
“I don’t want to talk about that shit, okay?”
“How old, Kat?”
“Sto-“
“Please.”
He sighs and drops his head down.
“About two years older than now, maybe. Not sure about the exact time, but I fucking know I turned twenty seven, and I didn’t turn twenty eight.”
He can feel Eijirou’s soft gasp.
“That’s- That’s really young, Kat.”
“I fucking know, and it sucked, but that shit happened before. I’m not gonna let it happen again.”
Ei sniffles and squeezes him but still gives a quiet “yeah.”
-
They don’t bring it up again. Well, Eijirou definitely makes quite a few dragon jokes and comments on them being “soulmates” fairly often, but they don’t ever talk about the end.
The worst fucking part of losing the memory dreams is having to deal with regular person dreams. He thought he was losing his fucking mind the first time he went through that trippy shit.
Eijirou ends up convincing him to see a sleep doctor when he starts getting almost constant nightmares. He doesn’t tell him how many of the nightmares are just slowed down replays of his last day as a king.
It’s fucking difficult, and even though he knows damn well he’s not about to let himself die again, a part of him almost makes peace with it after having to relive his first death so many times. Eijirou seems fully confident it won’t happen.
Katsuki tries not to relate everything to it’s parallel from the past, and he’s gotten pretty good at it. He still has a fond flashback when Eijirou picks up a baby onesie in a store with a giant smile on his face under the guise of “Look how cute!”.
It isn’t until that night that he feels the dread. He’s almost painfully determined to make Ei a father in this life. It’s then that he realizes Eijirou could’ve been a father in the other, just not with him.
He was still young, he was still fucking beautiful, there’s no reason for him not to have moved on and spent the rest of his, hopefully, long life with someone else. Katsuki feels like shit for how much he hates that idea.
He wants to want him to have moved on and been happy, but he really fucking hates picturing Eijirou growing old with someone else.
He’s fucking glad his sleeping husband doesn’t mind being woken up for late night.. intimacy.
-
Eijirou doesn’t show a single doubt about Katsuki surviving his twenty eighth year, not until his twenty seventh birthday.
Katsuki isn’t crazy about birthday parties, he never has been, but he knows how much Eijirou enjoys planning them and celebrating that shit, so he doesn’t complain.
Which is how he ended up sitting in front of a cake with the same explosion pattern as every year, with a crooked party hat on his head as his dumbass friends and goofy husband sing him happy birthday. It’s not terrible.
He doesn’t hate these moments, and it’s not just the comfort of having his whole ragtag group from his past life under the same roof, he actually kind of likes the idiots.
Even when icyhot makes some smartass comment about him and Deku fucking dies laughing, or when Mina has a single drink and decides they all have to sing karaoke right this instant, or when Denki nearly breaks their tv again. He doesn’t hate it.
It’s not until he needs a break from the constant chatter that he realizes he hasn’t seen Eijirou in at least ten minutes.
He’s not a clingy husband, he fucking isn’t. It just feels.. unnatural, to be around people and not him. He wanders the house for less than thirty seconds when he hears hiccuping coming from their bedroom.
“Ei?”
The redhead nearly jumps out of his skin when Katsuki opens the door.
“Oh fuck, sorry. I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
It’s hard to believe when he looks up with wet, red rimmed eyes and a weak smile. Shit.
Katsuki takes a seat on the bed next to him with their sides pressed together.
“It’s not gonna happen again, Ei.”
He takes a shaky breath before responding.
“I know babe, I’m just scared. You know I trust you to take care of yourself and everything, but it’s still hard when so much of the other stuff came true, you know?”
Oh he definitely knows, and it definitely weighed on him for a long fucking time after that night, but this is one of those very few times he can’t be fully truthful with his husband.
“I get it. It’s fucking scary, but I’m not dying yet. I shouldn’t have told you, I don’t want you thinking like this for a whole year.”
He gives him that same watery smile.
“I’m glad you told me. Now I know to protect you extra.”
“I don’t need you to-“
“Yeah, yeah tough guy, I know. Still gonna do it though. Come on, let’s go back out there.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes affectionately before following him back to the party. A part of him still feels bad about it, but he doesn’t regret not telling Eijirou that he knows that shitty day was in June.
-
It’s become a common occurrence for Eijirou to be overly affectionate and borderline smothering since Katsuki’s birthday.
He’s not complaining about the attention, but he doesn’t like the underlying fear that it carries. But, just a couple more weeks and he can tell Ei the month he died in before has already passed and he can breathe again.
He’s damn near jittery with excitement on June 30th. He’s not even excited about possibly escaping death, he wasn’t super worried about that. Well, he was, but it’s been overshadowed by his guilt for how on edge Eijirou’s been.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve been smiling for like thirty minutes. It’s creepy.”
“Fuck off.”
He doesn’t even stop smiling as he says it, but he still doesn’t want to jinx this shit by admitting to Eijirou how close they are. Especially not when they’re on patrol.
His smile drops quickly when they get a report of a villain outbreak six blocks away. They’re the closest, and for once in his life, he’s actually fucking worried.
He’s obviously not alone in that sentiment when Eijirou hesitates to go towards it. He gives Katsuki a questioning look, almost implying he should stay behind.
But fuck that, he’s a goddamn hero, and it’s literally his job to risk his life, even if the stakes are a little higher today.
Eijirou doesn’t even think of trying to stop him when he blasts himself in the direction of the fight.
He ignores the heavy feeling in his gut when he looks over the scene that’s so fucking familiar, and he forces himself into the headspace he’s always in when he fights.
He knows one of the stronger villains has a strength enhancing quirk, and the other one has some weird knife shit, but apparently the rest are pretty low level. Good, he can do endurance battles in his sleep.
He sees some other heroes he’s not super familiar with, but he knows them enough to know they can hold their own, and Eijirou’s probably about a minute away. He’ll take out some of the lackeys while he waits.
It’s barely two knock outs in when he’s forgotten all about his possible prophecy, he’s all strategy and firepower, exactly as he should be.
He’s about ready to blow someone’s head off when he feels something sharp on his back, but he turns around to see it was a fucking hardened elbow.
“Sorry babe!”
“Watch where you put that thing!”
God, he fucking loves fighting with his idiot by his side. It doesn’t take them long at all to get most of the low lifes out of commission, and every win boosts Katsuki’s confidence. This is nothing compared to the fight he died in before.
Sure, it’s taking some time to get the strength enhanced asshole down, but he’s not in a fucking rush, and they’ve barely landed a hit on him. He’s got a feral smile on his face when he lands again after getting them almost out and is about to deliver the final blow.
Except he’s interrupted when gets violently shoved onto the ground by that same sharp arm as earlier.
“Ei! I fucking swear to-“
His words die on his tongue when he sees the two long blades protruding from Eijirou’s back.
He doesn’t even remember causing all the fire and destruction around them, but he knows the villains are down in seconds, and he knows his arms are in pain from overusing his quirk.
“Eijirou, Ei, look at me.”
He’s holding his bloody face in shaking hands as Eijirou stumbles to his knees.
“Oh, hey, you’re alright.”
He smiles with shark teeth covered in his own blood.
“Don’t you fucking smile at me right now.”
“Why not? ‘m happy. You’re o- ah, okay.”
“Fuck you! I’m not fucking okay if you aren’t!”
Eijirou attempts to lift a hand to Katsuki’s crying face, but winces and tries to use it to steady himself before collapsing into Bakugou’s arms.
“‘M fine.”
“You have fucking knives in you!”
He doesn’t even have the capacity to care that he’s screaming and sobbing to the person he technically should be comforting right now. He never was great at that part of being a hero.
“Oh, these? ‘S fine babe.”
He wants to slap him. How can Eijirou just act like this is nothing as he’s losing consciousness?
“Don’t you fucking fall asleep, asshole. You’re staying awake until the goddamn p-paramedics get here.”
“Sure.”
Katsuki feels the breath on his neck getting weaker and he doesn’t even think of the irony of him being the one wailing as burning debris surrounds them.
-
He doesn’t let go of him. Well, not until his unconscious husband is practically ripped from his arms to be put on a stretcher, but Katsuki isn’t about to fucking fight them on that.
He closes his eyes the whole ambulance ride. He feels like shit for being weak, but he just can’t fucking look at Eijirou in that state. But he can’t avoid hearing the frantic paramedics, and that’s almost just as terrifying.
He’s not the kind of person to fucking cry in public, but desperate times like this could make anyone sob in the hospital waiting room as their husband goes into surgery after being fucking impaled.
He still keeps his eyes closed as much as possible, if he opens them and sees the sterile hospital room, the ash on his hands, Eijirou’s blood covering him- It’ll all be too real.
This wasn’t supposed to fucking happen. They were supposed to go home tonight and then fucking stay home tomorrow on their day off, and then go to that stupid bakery Eijirou loves the next morning for Katsuki to tell him they don’t have to worry anymore.
It was supposed to be fine. He didn’t even- he should’ve fucking realized Eijirou’d be stupid enough to- He’s so angry. If he just hadn’t told him, he should never have fucking told him.
-
It’s hours before he feels like a real person again, hours before the doctor comes in to tell him he’s not okay but he’s alive.
He doesn’t even know the exact time he gets to sit next to Eijirou’s hospital bed, but he knows the sun is up, and his exhaustion hits him like a freight train. He hadn’t even thought of sleeping before he knew if his idiot was ever going to wake up.
It’s sickening to see him so fucked up, with so many goddamn machines connected to him, but the heart beat monitor sounds like a fucking lullaby, and Katsuki’s dead asleep in that uncomfortable chair within seconds.
-
It feels like he only blinked, but the room is dark when he opens his eyes again, and the clock reads 4am.
He groggily registers he was woken up by the hand he rested on Eijirou’s bed being poked.
“You awake?”
It’s the most pained whisper he’s ever heard, but it also makes him want to fucking sob in relief.
“Why are you awake? Doctor said you’d sleep for a while. Don’t fuck up your healing.”
Eijirou sticks his tongue out at him before smiling to the best of his ability.
“I told you I’m fine.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“You’re right, I fucking don’t, and that’s why I hate you for pulling that shit.”
Eijirou sighs.
“How’d you die before?”
“Why the fuck-“
“Just tell me.”
He weighs the pros and cons of being honest before grunting out the truth.
“Sword.”
“Good.”
“What the fuck?! How the hell-“
“Come on, Kat. You got killed by a sword, you almost got stabbed by a long knife, basically a sword. Do you not get why that’s good?”
He feels himself getting angry again.
“I didn’t almost get stabbed, Eijirou. You actually got fucking stabbed and that’s a million times worse. I get what you’re implying, but I’d fucking rather it’d been me.“
He gets a wheezing laugh in response.
“That’s funny, ‘cause I’m glad it was me.”
“You better not be, if you die doing something that fucking stupid, I’ll kill you myself in our next life.”
Eijirou gives him that pained laugh again at his false threat.
“But that doesn’t matter now, babe. Neither of us died, and now you’re like, free.”
“Free?”
“Well, yeah. You said the dreams stopped after that, and we just got past our version of it, so you’re free. You don’t have to think about that past stuff anymore.”
He stares, dumbfounded. He’d never even thought of it like that. He focused so much on the way things had lined up, and on how he could avoid dying this time, he just hadn’t considered it.
But hearing Eijirou say it has an unexpected wave of relief washing over him. He’d occasionally wished he never remembered, but he didn’t think about the day when he wouldn’t have any idea what comes next.
He has no idea because it really hasn’t happened, it always felt like he was loosely replaying the king’s and his old life, but now it’s just, his. He feels fucking liberated.
Eijirou’s still doing his best to smile and Katsuki returns it even stronger.
“Yeah, guess I’m fucking free.”