Chapter Text
Axel often found himself standing at the train station for no particular reason.
Well.
Honestly, it wasn’t like he couldn’t find one. He was sure there was some reason or another he had to take a trip out of the city. Maybe take a break from his job—if they’d let him, he’d just transferred there from Radiant Garden after all—and enjoy a night out on the town. Maybe take a trip to the beach and stuff himself full of pretzels until he eventually popped or go linger at a bar until he was drunk enough to wander to a hotel room and pass out on a bed. He’d be uninterested in taking anyone to that bed with him; he’d lost interest in that by his late twenties.
Besides. He had the distinct feeling he was waiting for someone.
They often said when you met that one special person, you’d know immediately. You’d even know why you knew. The pieces would just fit. Perfectly.
Of course, Axel had been ending up at this same train station for the past six months and he wasn’t really banking on the fact that he’d meet that special someone there. All he’d ever seen were old folks and commuting businessmen entering and leaving. No special feelings there, thank the stars.
He didn’t exactly want any of them to be that special person. He couldn’t imagine hanging off the arm of a doddering old lady like some bright red sad sack of sugar baby arm candy. And he was fairly certain the businessmen had a type, and that this type did not include six odd feet of bumbling, thirty-year-old shut in.
Axel hadn’t even really gone anywhere but the train station.
Which brought him back to the here and now. He’d been loitering for the past half hour, leaned up against the Struggle poster on the wall by the ticket booth and being judged by the ticket lady. Arms crossed and face blank so as to create the severe illusion of someone with a purpose. He was there for a reason, he wanted his posture to say. He wasn’t just standing around like an idiot because he had nothing better to do. He could say he actually was waiting for someone.
Today, he learned, he’d finally met this someone he hadn’t known he’d been waiting for. Really waiting for.
It’d been as innocuous as usual, in fact. The train pulled into the station with a loud hiss and a squeal, bringing with it the smell of rusting metal and the rush of pattering feet. The businessmen, as usual. They bustled out of the train car with a vigor Axel wished he could achieve for at least ten minutes of his lifetime. Behind them, the old folks wobbled out on their canes and walkers, smiling absently as they wandered off down the stairs—which, granted, was probably dangerous if they really weren’t paying attention. Maybe the odd mother of two or three, or the weary traveler with bags of groceries, or the small group of school children babbling about inane things wandered out as well.
That wasn’t what caught Axel’s eye.
What caught Axel’s eye were a pair of sky-blue ones staring directly back at him.
The back of his mind registered the rest of the image: windswept blond locks, long golden lashes, pouty lips and a buttony nose set in a face that couldn’t decide if it wanted to keep to the boyishness of the guy’s youth or accept its fate and give into maturity, a short stature swathed in baggy gray jeans and a loose white t-shirt, scuffed backpack over a shoulder and secured with tight fingers as the free hand ran through that sunny hair, mussing it into a messy mockery of what it just was. Conventionally attractive in every way and certainly not the type one expected to see stepping off of a train in Twilight Town.
But those eyes.
They were everything.
They were shining bright in the sunset, a deep contrast to the dark, dull blankness they’d held weeks prior. They were glittering with humor as he laughed, with mirth as he smiled. They were wide with excitement as he talked about his new friend. Their new friend; someone Axel hadn’t even known existed until he suddenly remembered that she did. They were soft with admiration, something Axel had never expected to deserve and yet he’d craved it once he’d gotten a taste. He wanted to be better for it. He wanted to see it in those eyes again and again and again…
He remembered them narrowed in anger. In distrust and betrayal. He remembered them flat with acceptance. Burning with revenge. Shining with sadness.
He remembered everything, looking in those eyes.
Oh. This was what they meant when they said you’d know you met that special someone. It’d hit like lightning: when one least expected it and strong enough to knock them off their feet.
And Axel wasn’t even sure if he was still attached to his feet. Surely he was floating somewhere in the realm between existence and nonexistence. Once upon a time, he literally had been. Now, looking at the man who stood across from him in front of closing train doors, it all came back.
Roxas.
It didn’t occur to him that he’d spoken the name aloud. It didn’t hit him that it repeatedly left his lips like a mantra, drawing the owner of that name towards him until a finger was pressed against them. The scrape of sneakers against cement didn’t register. The familiar grin and the glint in those blue, blue eyes didn’t register. But they touched and reality hit Axel like a truck, sending him crashing back down to here and now.
He was breathing heavily by this point, which was alarming considering he hadn’t even moved from his spot, and his lips tingled where Roxas’ finger was pressed against them. His gaze trained ahead, seeing and unseeing all at once. Emotions he couldn’t even begin to describe welled up inside him.
And he started to cry.
“Roxas…”
In Axel’s defense, Roxas was crying too.
Granted, he thought they both had good reasons to be.
“Did you wait for me?” Roxas asked with a sniffle and a watery smile. Axel grabbed his hand, the one with the finger pressed against his mouth, and held it tight within his own. It was still smaller than his, though the calluses from holding a weapon and being forced to fight every day were gone, replaced instead with a smooth softness that warmed his palm. He found himself tranquil with even just this tiny bit of knowledge. The idea that whatever Roxas had been up to in this lifetime, it didn’t include hardship.
“Of course I did. I told you I’d meet you again.” In the next life.
Who would’ve thought it’d actually work out this way. Was this why he jumped on the opportunity to transfer to Twilight Town the moment the offer had been tossed in the air? Was this why he found himself at the Sunset Terrace station of all places instead of the Clocktower station where most would be expected to wait for loved ones? Did his heart know he’d find Roxas again here?
It used to sound cheesy until it actually happened and now here he was. Together again with his best friend, the same one he hadn’t seen in years. Centuries maybe. Who even knew how long it’d been until they were born again.
Roxas laughed that same familiar laugh in that same low, gentle voice and looped his fingers through Axel’s, squeezing his hand. And Axel was torn between holding tight to that hand, determined not to lose Roxas again, and letting go of it to wrap him up tight in a long-deserved hug.
The latter urge won out.
Roxas blinked up at him in surprise for only a second when Axel’s hand slipped from his, but it disappeared just as quickly when he circled his arms around Roxas and pulled him to his chest. His face buried in those golden locks, wetting them with tears he had forgotten were still falling. His entire being quivered with a spinning wheel of emotions: joy, excitement, relief, longing…
Love.
Wow. He hadn’t thought about it in so long. It never seemed to work out for him and after a while he’d stopped trying. Stopped going on dates and meeting new people. Stopped caring.
Somehow Roxas had swept him up into the thick of it without even trying. With doing nothing but stepping off of a train and reintroducing himself into Axel’s life.
It was all so overwhelming, really. Axel had never even thought past lives existed and now all of a sudden he was reliving memories he’d never experienced in this lifetime. Feelings he’d never experienced in this lifetime.
He wondered if Roxas knew. Or if he’d felt the same. They’d lived out the rest of their lives in the past with such a clean and friendly distance, trying to scrounge up some sort of existence that didn’t involve keyblades and Nobodies and Xehanort, that they’d never approached this subject. Axel kept it to himself all that time. He wanted Roxas to flourish in his own life, and he’d done so with such a fierce brightness that Axel couldn’t dare interfere. He’d stayed fast friends with Roxas but…
He’d never told him how he felt.
He wondered if it would have been untoward to do so now. He so, so wanted to but…
They literally just met again for the first time. Axel didn’t even know why Roxas was here. Or why he hadn’t been here in the first place.
“What’re you doing here anyway?” he asked, and he found himself cringing at how it came out. He didn’t mean for it to sound like he was upset Roxas was here. Quite the opposite, actually.
Roxas took it for its true meaning thankfully. He laughed quietly and looped his own arms around Axel’s waist, finally returning what had started as a one-sided hug. That would’ve gotten awkward fast otherwise, and Axel was trying hard to ignore the butterflies fluttering around in his gut at the warm band around his waist, burning through his shirt and lingering against his skin.
Yeesh. When was he allowed to do this? All this poetic gooey nonsense? He was thirty; this was supposed to be kept to schoolgirl crushes or something.
Didn’t stop him from feeling it though.
“I don’t know why I’m here honestly,” Roxas shrugged. Axel could feel his breath against his chest, just over his heart, and it sent an embarrassing flush over him that suddenly made the schoolgirl comparison that much more apt. “I’m supposed to be on vacation, but everyone was telling me to go somewhere fancy like the Garden or Scala. Never expected to take a train to Twilight Town.”
Huh.
Axel pulled back just an inch to look over Roxas again, finally taking the whole of him in. He was taller and tanner than Axel remembered. Still short, but not so much that Axel could comfortably use the top of his head as an armrest. His face, neck and arms covered in an array of freckles against sun-warmed skin. His hair bleached a brighter shade than the dirty blond it used to be. Older than he had been when Axel first met him in the previous life. Likely in his twenties, just judging by his face. Maybe a few more subtle differences existed that Axel wouldn’t be able to pinpoint in the moment, but everything was still undeniably Roxas.
So why wasn’t he in Twilight Town to begin with? It seemed odd that he’d be taking a vacation to the place he’d spent his entire previous life. It was such a part of Roxas that he seemed almost incomplete, having not been there from the get-go. Axel was surprised he himself hadn’t been born here the second time around. Sure, Radiant Garden was his home the first time around. But he had so many memories in Twilight Town that Radiant Garden barely held any connection to him. He had no regrets leaving the place.
Axel was sure his confusion showed on his face, and Roxas finally stepped out of the hug, letting their arms fall to their sides, before bending down to pick up the backpack Axel hadn’t even realized Roxas had dropped.
“I guess you wanna know where I’ve been?” he asked, face downward as he slung the backpack over both of his shoulders. Head turned back to check on the rest of his luggage that the train attendant must’ve pulled out for him. It was only one suitcase, ideal for a small vacation. Roxas didn’t continue as he went back to grab it, thanking the attendant for not just leaving it there so he wouldn’t have to scramble after it later, before rolling it over to the stairs.
He stopped at the top of them and those blue eyes met Axel’s once more. Only when he nodded his head towards the rest of the Terrace did Axel finally move from his spot.
Smiling brighter than he had in years, Axel joined Roxas at his side.
-o-
“So… Destiny Islands, huh.”
It…made sense, actually. Considering who Roxas had come from, who he’d been even, Axel shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d be reborn there.
“Destiny Islands. It’s kinda funny, ‘cause I never considered myself a ‘beach and sunshine’ kinda guy—”
“Nonsense,” Axel cut in, grinning and ruffling Roxas’ hair. A shock of tingles ran over the skin of his hand when Roxas brushed it away. “You’re the sunniest guy I know.”
“Haha,” Roxas snorted. His hands swung at his sides leisurely, freed when Axel offered to wheel his suitcase, looking more relaxed than Axel had ever seen him. His head tipped back slightly as if he was enjoying the warmth of the sunset on his freckled face. A tiny smile played at his lips and his eyes were lidded. He was the picture of sunny as far as Axel was concerned.
Even if he seemed to disagree.
“That’s more Sora. He’s all about sunshine and rainbows. I just trailed behind him most of our lives.”
Axel had the distinct feeling ‘in his shadow’ was supposed to follow that sentence. He patted Roxas’ hair again, this time softly running his fingers through it. Notably, his hand wasn’t pushed away again.
“So you know Sora in this life too, huh?” Axel asked. He wasn’t going to be the one to linger on what possibly was a sore subject.
“Yeah. Riku too, but I mostly hung around Sora.”
“Don’t tell me. You two are brothers or something,” Axel chuckled. Roxas grinned and rolled his eyes, catching a mesmerizing glint of sunlight with them. Still as blue as ever.
“Surprisingly, no. I’m not even related to him. We still look alike, though. It’s kinda funny: we lived down the street from one another, grew up together, consider each other family… By all means, we should be related.” Roxas stuck his hands in his pockets then, shrugging his shoulders as a contemplative look pulled the corners of his mouth down into something more neutral. “I guess this is nature’s way of giving me a break. Letting me be my own person; not just some shadow of Sora.”
“And?” Axel pressed. “Are you happy about that?”
The smile came back, relievingly, though it was small and subdued.
“Yeah, I guess. But I was also pretty oblivious to who he really is up ‘til now, so does it even matter?”
“Does it matter to you?”
That was what truly mattered. Roxas finally had a say in his own life now. How he felt finally had an impact; he was allowed to express it now. Axel wanted him to. He wanted to hear for himself how free Roxas was from his past shackles.
“I…I guess it does.” Roxas looked up to Axel then, stopping in the middle of the cobbled road. Their walk back to Market Street where the friends Roxas was staying with lived, as he’d vehemently ranted about hotel prices in Twilight Town and how his online friends were incredibly generous to save him that munny and let him crash with them, was a slow amble. A chance to give them time to enjoy one another’s company. Axel was tempted to offer that Roxas stay with him instead, but that might’ve been a bit too much.
Especially considering these…feelings. They were a bit strong and Axel needed time to sort through them himself anyway.
They were old and new all at once. A mixture of fond memories of times they never experienced in their current states and that new excitement at the chance of getting to know Roxas all over again. Which was, uh.
Overwhelming, to say the least.
Where the words ‘stay with me’ had fizzled on the tip of his tongue, Axel instead licked his lips nervously and scratched at the back of his head.
“So. What was it like being an island kid this time around?” he asked. Briefly and vaguely, he wondered how old Roxas was now. He wouldn’t ask though. It didn’t really matter in the end, not when they’d already grown old together.
He wondered if that should’ve blown his mind as much as it sounded like it should have. Somehow it didn’t. It was just so natural, closing his eyes and remembering everything he’d gone through. Knowing he’d live a far more peaceful life this time around.
“It was, uhh…” Roxas trailed off, his own eyes rolling up to the sky and his finger scratching at his cheek as he thought. “Hmm. I mean, I guess it’s like any other childhood. We went to the beach a lot. The houses are bigger than they used to look. I ended up getting dragged to the other island a lot with Sora when he wanted to harass me into playing with him.”
Despite the tone of his words, Roxas had a fond look in his eyes as he spoke of his life growing up. He mentioned stories about the weird sorts of marine life Sora would snatch out of the water to show to Roxas and Riku. He spoke of afternoons after school, strolling around in the sand, burying his friends’ feet under it or shoveling it into castles. He spoke of his schooling itself and how he’d floated along with slightly above average grades all the way through college—giving Axel a vague answer to the question he’d been tempted to ask—before taking up a small job at Sora’s dad’s place to help his mother pay bills, especially after his dad had died. Axel felt that one a little close to home, though he’d been living a long-lost past when he’d lost his parents and shook off his normal life to apprentice at the castle.
It turned out that Roxas was still living at home, mostly to take care of his mother, and that she was the one who encouraged him to take a break.
“She was pushy as all hell about it too,” Roxas laughed. “Said I needed to stop trying to coddle her; something about being a grown woman and having raised me and all that. It turned into a rant that I tuned out for the most part, but the general message got across. I think she just wanted me out of the house so she could have some space.”
Axel tipped his head back and laughed loudly, ignoring how his voice echoed off of the townhomes and the dirty looks he received from the residents in response. Sure they could’ve technically hopped the train in the opposite direction and avoided the long walk to Market Street as well as the racket they caused along the way, but he would’ve missed this. The chance to really talk to Roxas again. He’d have kicked himself if he’d passed this up.
“Sounds like my mother,” Axel joked, loving the way Roxas’ eyes lit up at the information and feeling his heart beat that much harder at the idea that he could describe it as such.
Damn. He’d learned to love many things in this new lifetime and yet somehow it felt so different with Roxas.
Special someone indeed.
“Okay, I spilled my secrets. Now it’s your turn. What’s your mother like?” Roxas asked, pausing in front of one of the townhomes. Axel had taken a few steps more, not realizing that they were stopping, and his foot hung in the air as he turned back to Roxas. Sky blue flickered up towards the address and back to Axel meaningfully. This must’ve been where he was staying then. Axel peeked at the address too, taking note of the house number and logging it for later.
“Tell you what. I’ll tell you more about her over lunch tomorrow?” It’d give Roxas a chance to settle in at the very least.
He was met with a raised eyebrow and a knowing grin.
“Asking me on a date, are you?”
“Only if you say yes.”
The grin smoothed into a smile. And was followed by a confident nod.
That was…far more of a relief than Axel had expected. He didn’t know what he’d do if Roxas had said no. If he decided to keep their relationship at a respectable distance the way they had in the previous life, Axel would gladly respect that but…
But…
He’d always wanted more. He still wanted more. And it sent him over the moon to know that Roxas wanted that too.
He’d be patient about it though. Slow and steady won the race.
Maybe he couldn’t quite resist touching though…
Nothing implicit, just a soft pat to Roxas’ arm. It was uncovered due to Roxas’ short sleeves. Warm and smooth and taut with lithe muscle, and it burned at Axel’s skin far warmer than any flame he’d ever produced.
“’Round noon then? I’ll see ya when I see ya.”
Roxas peered up at Axel with wide, welcoming eyes and a tiny, almost coy smile playing at his lips.
“I haven’t seen you in so long,” he said as he reached up, no longer needing to stand on his tiptoes Axel noted with amusement, and cupped Axel’s cheek gently. Axel leaned into the touch without a second thought.
“Too long,” he responded. And it truly had been too long. They had a lot of lost time to make up for.
“Yeah. Too long. So I guess I will see you when I see you. Don’t keep me waiting,” Roxas murmured, his hand sliding away from Axel’s face before he reached down and grabbed the handle of his luggage from Axel’s hand. With one last smile and a wink thrown over his shoulder, Roxas climbed the few stairs up to the door, being welcomed inside only seconds after he pushed the doorbell. When the light from inside slowly wiped away as the door closed again, Axel finally responded.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”