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Justin’s fingers had been turned into a complete charred black before they finally did it. They had given him multiple opportunities to stop scratching at it himself. To stop digging his nails into the roaring blue flames and making the wound and his hand even more damaged and disfigured. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t been able to. The prickling hot itch that rolled up the side of his face and licked at his skin with an unbearably intense biting pain had been too much for him not to mess with it.
So they had given him a cone. An embarrassing, wide mouthed dog cone that was tied tight around his neck and locked so he couldn’t get it off on his own. It was clear, made of a flexible plastic that gave him some kind of visibility through it, but not much. Not enough to be able to read anyone’s lips. Which made this whole thing even worse. It made everything horribly isolating. It gave himself far too much time alone with his thoughts.
That’s why he was sulking. He’d admit it. He was sulking right now. Being depressed and moody sitting on the end of one of the holding room couches with his knees pulled up against him. He still wasn’t allowed outside of the academy, not even outside of the medical wing actually, but at least he wasn’t being treated as volatile anymore. He wasn’t being strapped down so they could mess with his face and not worry about how he thrashed and screamed in pain when they hit nerves that were still live and sensitive with their stitching.
There had been so much stitching. So many dead wounds they fixed with needles that burned more than the fire did. He couldn’t tell past all the flames what his face looked like with them all in, but he was scared to find out. He still couldn’t open his mouth right with how they had fixed his torn lips. Still couldn’t open his burning eye. His skin started to twitch just thinking about it all. His hand came up and hit plastic.
Right.
Sighing he moved to plop over, to fall into the couch and try to sleep there. He wasn’t really tired, but he didn’t want to think right now. He got inches away from hitting the cushions before someone grabbed onto his cone and roughly pulled him back up.
Immediately he was livid. Pissed that someone had not only manhandled him but also that they had used his cone to do it. Adding insult to the injury. His mouth opened to say something harsh and cutting, but before he could the person tilted the cone so he could see them. So he could see Giriko’s stupid smug face looking down at him.
“When did this happen? Why’d ya get all wrapped up like a little present?” Justin could feel the glare on his face getting more and more venomous the longer he stared at Giriko, he needed to look away but he also couldn’t with the other holding onto the cone as tightly as he was. His temper was getting volatile.
“What kind of presents have you been seeing for you to think that’s what this looks like?” He was able to keep his tone more or less calm, only hinted at with a low buzz of anger behind it. Not that it really mattered if he could or not, his expression of intense hatred gave it all away anyway. It was screaming that now wasn’t the time to be pushing him. Giriko predictably didn’t listen, his mouth pulling into a bigger and bigger smile.
“You’ve got a bow.” Justin couldn’t see what Giriko was playing with around his neck, but he assumed it was the gauze they had used to tighten the cone around his neck before they had locked it into position. Whoever did it must’ve tied the ends off into a ribbon. Justin couldn’t decide if he was pissed off about that or not. He supposed he was, because that was the reason he had to deal with Giriko playing with the soft string. The way the simple movements made the enchanter’s fingers brush against his bare collarbone in an irregular rhythm kept making him jump. The contact he couldn’t predict or see was overwhelming and he quickly smacked Giriko away.
“Aw come on now, you look cute. I bet you’re the only person on earth who could pull off looking this much like a kicked puppy.” Giriko was having far too much fun with this. He looked so undeniably pleased looking at Justin and it was making the teen bloodthirsty. He was really having to try to keep himself together. Still, he knew the reason Giriko was acting like this was because he wanted to see Justin break, wanted to cause a reaction. So he bit all his anger down the best he could. He refused to give the other what he wanted.
“Especially while on fire.” Ah. Well. It had been a good goal to have.
“Let go of me.” The way he said it was so unbelievably angry that Giriko actually flinched. He actually jumped a bit when on of Justin’s hands grabbed onto his wrist with a death grip and ripped his hand off the cone. Giriko, mercifully, didn’t fight and instead just shook the pain in his hand out loosely when he was let go.
“Still sore about that? How long has it been?” Giriko was starting to sound pissed off too. It was satisfying to see. Justin was pretty happy he had forced the other to stop enjoying this. Still not happy enough to not be livid though. Especially not with a question as dumb and as infuriating as the one Giriko had just asked burning into his skin.
“I’m still on fire, it's not over yet, you can’t ask how long it’s been.” Justin couldn’t believe he even had to clarify that, he knew the enchanter was dumb but not this dumb. This was ridiculous. It was more than ridiculous actually, but Justin couldn’t even put words to it. He was too busy being amazed by the other in the worst possible way.
“I mean since you caught fire, shouldn’t you be used to it by now?” Giriko said it like he was explaining something obvious, like it was something Justin should’ve understood off the bat. And to be fair, Justin had sort of known that was what Giriko had meant. He just wanted to be able to ignore that stupidity entirely. Wanted to pretend that Giriko was just the slightest bit smarter. The enchanter wasn’t interested in letting him do that though. He wanted Justin to face his complete idiocity head on apparently.
“Hey Giriko you’ve been alive for what? 800 years? Shouldn’t you be used to feeling like a husk of a man by now?” Justin was far too tired to be civil about this anymore. And it wasn’t like Giriko was being very civil himself either, so he really had no guilt spitting out the acidic cruel words. Giriko reaction was so intense and angry that Justin couldn’t help but smirk when the other bared his teeth in a feral kind of warning.
“They should pour water in there and see if it’ll put you out. It’ll probably cool your head at the very least brat.” Justin honestly wondered if the fire was starting to get bigger with his anger or if it just felt that way. The burning seriously was starting to get worse and worse. It felt almost unbearable. He wanted to storm out of here so he wouldn’t have to deal with the complete idiot in front of him that had grabbed back onto the cone to remind him of how pathetic he was right now.
In fact, he would’ve stormed out if it weren’t for the fact that he was pretty sure he’d get restrained if he did. The DWMA wouldn’t be lax about him leaving without permission. He could only imagine the kind of trouble that’d cause. He could only imagine the amount of trouble it’d take to even get permission to leave at all honestly. There was a weird pause and Justin realized something.
“How did you get here? Did they finally realize you aren’t a threat?” Giriko’s face went even greyer than it usually was and he looked off to the side with a stretched out frown. It was surprising that he didn’t blow up over being called harmless. Surprising enough that Justin tilted his head in confusion, his head bonking into the plastic and making him need to take a measure breath to not completely lose it.
“Giriko what happened?” Giriko drew back slightly, his hands finally starting to loosen on the cone. Justin felt something sick and concerned build up in his stomach, his lips felt chapped as he opened his mouth to ask again. He didn’t get a chance. Giriko saw him go to talk and he grabbed back onto the ends of the cone and pulled them together. Snapping the whole thing shut like a coin purse.
He reacted instantly, standing up to punch Giriko in the stomach with everything he had. He was blind like this but he had a pretty good idea of where the other was, unfortunately Giriko had a better idea and grabbed onto him before he could make contact. Pulling them together tightly and pinning Justin’s arms to his side. In this position Giriko’s face was pretty much in the cone with his, they were glaring at each other horribly and Justin could tell from the other’s slightly pained expression that the cone was digging into his windpipe. Good. Justin pushed his face forward slightly and watched how the other gagged with a malicious pleasure, glad to get some kind of revenge for that.
“I hope your face is burning along with mine right now.” Giriko had a wheezy huffed laugh, obviously struggling with his throat still being dug into. He held Justin tighter, before letting one of his hands come up and curl the cone slightly so it wouldn’t be in his neck anymore. Justin’s temper flickered again with that loss of power. He wanted Giriko to be in pain right now. To be regretting what he had done.
“It’s not. You’ve let your soul intertwine with mine far too much for the flaming wreckage of your madness to hurt me.” Under normal circumstances hearing Giriko admit to that would be enough for his heart to melt. Right now however it made his skin feel like bubbling tar. He wanted it to hurt. He wanted Giriko to burn with him. He wanted the other to feel what he saw as something funny. As something a person could just get used to.
He went to say something but then noticed there was a weird vapor coming off him. Steam. He was steaming. Blinking he tried to understand what was happening. When it hit him he felt sick. He was crying. He was crying and all his tears were boiling and turning into steam the second they left his eyes. For some reason that made him completely lose any semblance of his self control and start to cry harder, he started to hiccup and sob. The steam that was coming off of him got thicker, he could hear Giriko cough on it all.
“Justin!? Justin what’s wrong!?” His body was shaking with the force he was crying with, he wasn’t sure when the last time he had cried at all was, forget the last time he had cried this hard. He could sort of hear Giriko panic, feel the other look around wildly for something that’d help, but he wasn’t really paying attention. He couldn’t. He couldn’t pay attention to anything but his own overwhelming sorrow. It took all the effort he had to choke out a desperate response to Giriko’s question.
“It hurts Giriko! It hurts so much! I know I did something wrong but please . Please make it stop! I can’t take it anymore!” His voice was completely ruined, wrecked with his sobs. He couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed or ashamed though. He just wanted it to stop. All of this. He wanted to stop burning, he wanted to stop being haunted by everything he had done, he wanted to disappear.
“Hey! Hey kid it’s-” alright. Justin knew what Giriko wanted to say there. He knew what he had been trying to say before he had realized it just wasn’t true at all. Nothing was alright. None of this was even ok.
“Calm down, calm down kid… here I’ll… uh…” There was a sharp painful tug on the back of his cone and he gagged and coughed horribly. It was digging into his neck and choking him, he had no idea what Giriko was doing but it hurt. It hurt enough that his crying slowed down a little bit, turning into weird heavy hiccups as he tried to sit through whatever the enchanter was doing without completely breaking down.
“Fuck, there.” Justin blinked as he heard the loud metallic clank of the lock hitting the floor. Somehow Giriko had unlocked it. He had unlocked it and was now trying to undo the gauze ribbon that held it on. It came off easy enough and Justin was in a dull state of shock as he felt it loosen. It felt wrong for it to be coming off, but also horribly relieving. Giriko pulled it over his head and he felt it ruffle his hair as it finally slid completely off.
“There. That’s better right?” He wasn’t crying at all anymore, he just stared up at Giriko in shock, amazed that the other had done that. Giriko made a tired wheeze of relief that Justin could tell was a laugh that had fallen short. His hand came up hesitantly, moving to touch what had just been caged off from him. He had only managed to ghost his fingers against his skin before Giriko grabbed onto his hand and tugged it away sharply.
“No don’t touch it. Don’t make me regret that you little brat.” Justin looked down in an embarrassed shame. Giriko’s hand was still clenched tight around his own and he moved to hold it back loosely. He could see Giriko sigh loud enough that his entire body sagged for a second before he pulled Justin back against him in a tired hug.
“It doesn’t burn you, right?” Giriko’s chin was resting on his shoulder, heavy and exhausted. He sort of shifted a bit trying to look at Justin while also not having to pick his head up. It didn’t seem to work out for him and he groaned in annoyance before standing back up to his normal height.
“No it doesn’t burn.” Justin looked away again, his teeth worrying the undamaged part of his lip as he rolled a very silly, but very important question around in his head.
“Can I kiss you then?” The second the question was out of Justin’s mouth he regretted it. Half his mouth was burning and stitched together, it’d probably feel horrific and disgusting to Giriko if they kissed while he was like this. His throat felt sticky and hot and he looked away, not even letting himself read Giriko’s lips and see his reply. The heavy horribleness of this entire situation fell on top of him again. He was still disfigured. Still marked up and destroyed. Even if they managed to fix it he’d never not be at least slightly scarred. He was broken now. There was now visible proof that would forever show how defective he was to everyone who met him.
Giriko’s hand brushed through his hair before moving to hold the burning side of his face and gently pull him into a kiss. There was a second where he was frozen completely solid, unable to process that Giriko had just done that. But as soon as he put it together he tried to pull away. He could imagine the sharp stitches around his lips digging into the other’s living, undamaged flesh and tainting it. His flames licking at the other’s cheeks and making his skin crawl.
Giriko wasn’t willing to let him get away though. He quickly got his other hand around the other side of Justin’s face and held him there. Tightly. It actually hurt a bit. Justin made a tiny whining noise but it went completely unheard by the enchanter. Or if it was heard then the other used it as an incentive to push harder, mouthing against the other’s tightly sealed lips and asking to have his kiss reciprocated.
Justin was at a loss, he didn’t know what to do. He was far too scared to let Giriko feel the extent of his injury, but… he also knew the other was already feeling it. He was already right up against the flames and the stitched together charred dead skin. Justin let his mouth open slightly and gave a shy kiss back, trying to get back the courage and excitement he usually had for these kind of things. Giriko took that running, it was shocking to Justin how relieved the enchanter seemed to be when he accepted the kiss, at how much tension he hadn’t even noticed the other was carrying had flooded out by his simple peck back.
The kiss suddenly started to get violent, more intense and filled with all the stress Giriko had apparently been carrying. Justin’s mind couldn’t help but drift back to his question that had started all of this. How did Giriko get here? What had happened that let him back up to the academy’s upper levels? To the medical bay? To where Justin was held? They hadn’t seen each other much at all since everything had ended, and when they had there was always someone else there. Someone who always had the keys to a pair of handcuffs locked onto the enchanter. Someone who’d watch Justin with sharp judgemental eyes that told him to sit still and be good or risk being seen as dangerous rather than broken.
Wrapping his arms around Giriko’s neck he deepened the kiss, feeling more weird steaming tears escape when the enchanter held on tighter, lifting him off the ground slightly to get them even closer together. It was getting hard to breathe, but he wasn’t ready to break away. He wasn’t ready to let go of the other now that he had him back. It seemed like Giriko was in a similar predicament. His arms were starting to feel bruising around Justin’s waist and with every second that passed it got worse. Justin broke away with a wet gasp, a little bit scared that any longer would spell the end for his spine.
At some point Giriko had lifted him up high enough that he was now looking down at the man. Justin’s throat felt sore as he looked at Giriko’s pained expression. There was something the other wasn’t telling him. He wanted to ask, especially when he realized there was steam coming off of Giriko too. When he noticed the enchanter was crying; his tears boiling away along with Justin’s own.
The question was burning on his tongue. Making his mouth feel sharp and dry. What had happened? What was going to happen? Was Giriko here to stay or would they be ripped away again? When would he see him next if that was the case? When would he get to be close to Giriko like this again? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Justin’s hands felt shaky as he brought them up to hold Giriko’s face with a feather light grip. He was scared to hold the other too hard, scared his hands would go straight through the enchanter and he’d realize that he was still just delusional and alone. His touch got slightly firmer and he finally let himself feel Giriko’s skin, warm and pulsing. Alive. He was right there and he was alive. Despite everything they were alive right now. That was what mattered.
Justin met their lips again, gentle but earnest. Giriko let him take control this time. He let Justin keep the kiss soft and innocent. He let Justin turn it into something filled with such a desperate and warm love that it made their hearts ache.
And ache.
And ache.